Batbros Wreak Havoc
by nickijae
Summary: Just goofy oneshots or multishots between the bat brothers.
1. Jealousy

**Jealousy**

Dick had declared the week a brocation. He had meticulously bribed, blackmailed and pleaded until each of his brothers decided that they were free for the week and could go with him to Cabo San Lucas.

The problem was not convincing his brothers to go, but rather Bruce to stay away. Bruce had sited every failed brocation attempt as reasons why he should supervise but eventually Dick was able to convince him that this time would be different. Dick had also promised to make their next 'business meeting' in Cabo so that they could have father-son bonding time.

Now Dick lay sunbathing by the warm water watching his brothers have fun. Suddenly a shadow covered his body. Squinting, Dick looked up, only to see that there were a bunch of girls giggling by his feet. "Uh. Can I help you?" He asked in flawless Spanish. When they didn't reply, he asked it again in English, French, Italian and German. He still did not get a response.

Suddenly the girls sat down beside him, and started to snuggle into his sides. Dick felt the confusion sink in. He had no idea what these girls were up to. Shrugging he decided that there was no harm in going along with it.

* * *

Jason, Tim, and Damian seethed as they stood in the water. How dare Dick make them go on a brocation and then allow a bunch of girls to take his attention away from his brothers. Turning to Damian, Jason asked, "How well can you act kid?"

* * *

"Daddddyyyyyyyy!" A voice that sounded very much like Damian yelled. Immediately Dick was on high alert. Sitting up, he was surprised when Damian jumped into his lap and started babbling about playing in the water. "Daddy come on! You promised that you would play with Dad and Uncle Tim!"

Dick felt like the world was exploding as he allowed Damian to lead him away. Damian never acted like a child, and why the hell was he being called Daddy? Damian did not even call Bruce Daddy! And who the hell was Dad? And Uncle Tim? Dick was suddenly glad that he allowed Bruce to make him wear a necklace with a video camera in it. Whatever was happening needed to be recorded as evidence of the apocalypse.

Damian led Dick over to where Jason and Tim were standing in the water. Dick was about to ask if they had drugged Damian when Jason walked over to him and put his hands on his ass. Dick felt violated. Why of all things was Jason touching his ass and why was he leaning closer like he wanted to kiss him?

Dick did the only logical thing. He tackled Jason, dunking them both in the water. Dick immediately got up and started to move as quickly as possible to the shore. When Tim made a move to grab him, Dick did a flip to dislodge Tim's hands and hightailed it out of there.

When he arrived at the hotel room, he locked it, making sure to lock the door chain. Dick quickly put on real clothes, grabbed his wallet and stripped off any tracking devices on his clothing. Then he went out on the balcony and proceeded to climb down. It would take his brothers a while to get in the room let alone figure out where he went.

Once he was on the ground, he hailed a taxi and went to the nearest airport, where he bought a plane ticket using an alias so that his brothers could not track him. He boarded the plane and sighed with relief. He had to show Bruce the video, his brothers had obviously been brainwashed.

* * *

Laughing, Jason, Tim, and Damian made their way up to the hotel room. They had given Dick an hour to freak out and call Bruce and now they were going to explain to him that it was a harmless prank. When they arrived at the door, they immediately noticed that they could not open the door due to the door chain.

Knocking, they begged Dick to let them in. When no response came they began to worry. Dick could never stay silent if someone was talking to him. Jason kicked the door in and they found the room to be a mess. Looking around they noticed that Dick's bag had been hastily unpacked and that his wallet was missing. Then they saw a pile of tracking devices on the floor next to Dick's cell phone.

Tim felt a soft breeze and looked up. "Guys. I think he jumped off the balcony."

Damian scoffed. "What makes you think that?"

Tim gestured to the door. "The fact that the door is open is a good clue."

Groaning Jason picked up one of the many tracking devices on the ground. "Bruce is going to kill us."

* * *

When the boys arrived at the Wayne Manor they were expecting to be yelled at. They were not however, expecting a cheek swab. Alfred explained to them that after watching the video, Bruce was convinced that there was some sort of parasite in the water.

Jason believed that that was a great explanation, and would have left it at that, had Tim not elbowed him. Jason sighed and then sat both Bruce and Dick down. "There was no parasite in the water, you see Dick was surrounded by all these girls and…" the rest of it was inaudible.

Dick cocked his head to the side slightly. "And….?"

Tim picked up where Jason left off. "Well it was our brocation, and all these girls were flocking you. We wanted your attention so we pulled a small prank."

Damian scoffed. "It was my superior acting skills that convinced Grayson of the parasite. I told Todd that Grayson would be upset if Todd tried to force himself on him."

Dick looked around carefully before a huge grin broke out across his face. "You mean you did all that because you were jealous!"

Bruce face palmed. Of course Dick would think it was great when one brother acted severely out of character, another tried to molest him, and the third helped the other two. Then he gave a faint grin, and only Dick could get his three brothers to unite because they were jealous of the lack of attention they were receiving.

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 **A/N: Don't know where this came from, just thought it would be kinda fun to write.**


	2. Revenge for the Broken Hearted

**Revenge for the Broken Hearted**

Bruce was staring at his son. Something was obviously wrong, but for once, his chatty son was not talking. The only thing that he had said was that he would be staying at the manor for the night and not to call his fiancee Barbara. This worried Bruce more than he was willing to let on. Dick liked to talk out his problems no matter how major or minor. Even when they were not on speaking terms, Dick would sometimes call talk out his problems with him, citing that they were just putting their problems on hold. And more importantly, Dick talked about Barbara non stop. For him to ask Bruce not to call her was extremely out of character.

Bruce had always been glad that his son felt comfortable asking for help, even when they were having problems. But now, their relationship was better than it ever had been before, and his son was not telling him the issue at hand.

Bruce looked around the table. Jason, Tim, and Damian all had looks of various levels of concern as they silently glanced at their brother, but Dick didn't seem to notice. In fact, Dick didn't seem to notice that a plate of his favorite food had been placed in front of him over five minutes ago.

Tim gave Bruce a wide eyed look that clearly said _Do something!_ But for once Bruce was at a loss. He had never had to approach Dick about an issue, and he suspected that the methods used to get the other three to talk would just make his eldest shut down further.

Giving each of his three worried sons a small reassuring smile, Bruce quietly reached over and touched Dick's hand. Dick jumped and glanced around quickly before looking down. "Oh. When did the food get here?"

Bruce took in a deep breath to calm his nerves. He wasn't sure this would work, but as he looked at Dick's obviously depressed face, he steeled himself with determination. "I'm going to go to bed. I'm still sore from last night and I don't want to make it worse."

Jason raised an eyebrow before understanding seemed to dawn on him. Quickly, he shoved a hand in front of Damian's mouth before the boy could call his father out on his lie. Bruce wanted to give Dick the opportunity to speak to him alone in his room the way he had as a boy after he had a nightmare. Bruce was not sure that it would work, but he would think of a new plan if it didn't. He would keep trying for his son who had never asked anything from him except for him to be there for him.

Climbing into his bed he did not have to wait long. Within an hour, Dick was standing in the doorway, a ghost of his usual self. Bruce silently patted the spot next to him and lifted the covers. To his surprise Dick dived under the covers and immediately curled up into his side, as if he needed the human contact.

Bruce silently began to stroke his son's hair. When Dick didn't say anything Bruce started. He talked about work, the latest pranks that Jason, Tim, and Damian had worked together to pull on him, Alfred's April Fool's joke where he drew a picture of a bath instead of drawing an actual bath. When only a hint of a smile graced Dick's face, he knew something was really wrong. The boy had been trying to get Alfred to participate in April Fool's for years.

Taking a deep breath, Bruce started. "Hey Kiddo. You know that I like to allow you to come to me with problems and otherwise give you the space to do your own thing. But you're really freaking me out Chum. Why can't I call Barbara? Last week you called me asking for my opinion on tie colors remember?"

Dick let out a moan before scooting even closer to Bruce. He let out a choked son before saying, "She threw the engagement ring at me. One minute we were fine, and the next she was so angry that she couldn't walk down the aisle. I told her that didn't matter to me, that she was perfect the way she was. She flipped and started screaming at me. Told me that it mattered to her and if I couldn't get it then we shouldn't get married. I tried to calm her down a little, you know, ask her if she wanted to move the wedding date back. She threw the ring at me and said 'I don't want to fucking get married to you!' Then she yelled at me to get out, and that she wants to see other people. She kicked me out of my own apartment." Dick let out a bitter laugh. "Everything was so great. I mean I have no idea where that even came from. We've been on cloud nine since I proposed."

When Dick didn't continue, Bruce allowed them to rest in silence for a moment before he said, "Sometimes, we allow things to fester up inside us because we don't want to disappoint the people we love. Take us for example. You didn't want to tell me that you wanted to be your own hero and out of my shadow, and I didn't tell you how much I loved and appreciated you. We both let that fester until it exploded and we hurt each other. Stay here. I'll take sick leave from work and your brother's will skip school, and we'll do something together. A vacation or something."

When Dick still didn't smile, and Bruce could hardly blame him, he continued. "Maybe she'll realize what a huge mistake she made, but she can't do that if you're around. Please Kiddo, let's go somewhere. How about Disneyland? You always did say it was the happiest place on Earth and I think that our whole family could use some of that, how bout you?"

Dick managed to crack the faintest of grins and Bruce felt like he won the lottery. "When do you want to leave?"

Dick looked contemplative for a second. "Do you think we can leave tomorrow? I know it's sudden, but I really want to get out of Gotham right now."

Bruce nodded his head in understanding. "I'll call Clark and have him patrol and send an email to my office and the schools that we're leaving." Looking at Dick, Bruce steeled himself once more before saying, "Chum, I know that you might not like this, but will you give me your phone. Let's have a fun week in the happiest place on earth without being stressed out by this, okay?"

Dick nodded his head and pulled his phone out of his pocket, handing it to Bruce. "Can I sleep in here tonight? I don't want to be alone." Bruce's only response was to pull his son tighter.

* * *

It was one a.m. and Bruce, Tim, Jason, Damian, and Alfred were standing in the kitchen. Bruce had just explained what had happened, and was now physically restraining Jason, while Tim restrained Damian. "We should kill the harlot!" Damian declared, struggling to break free.

Always the voice of reason, Tim replied, "He loves her, that's why she was able to hurt him so badly. He would never forgive us for hurting her."

Jason ripped at his hair in frustration. "Then what do we do! We can't do nothing!"

Alfred had been sitting quietly with his tea, but now he asked, "Is it incorrect to assume that the 'Bat Clan' holds considerable power within the Justice League?"

Tim shifted, releasing a calmer Damian before saying, "We do, but what does that have to do with this?"

Bruce sat up straighter. "He's saying that we should blacklist Oracle. Nobody uses her without consequences from the Bat Clan, and those fools would never risk it."

They all nodded their agreement before Damian spoke up in an uncharacteristically soft voice. "You know, that harlot will blame Grayson for this. She will be calling all of us non stop."

Tim shrugged indifferently. "We all block her number. The only way to tell if your blocked is because the voicemail always pops up after one ring. Texts messages just say delivered, but they never actually show up on the other person's phone." Then looking down at his hands he said, "Barbara's like me and Bruce. As long as we have work, we can block out anything we're feeling. We just took the work away from her, so she will realize what she's done." Tim stopped before his face twisted in a feral smirk. "I hope she comes here to apologize and finds an empty mansion."

Jason suddenly had a genius idea. A smirk grew over his face and his family turned to him with hesitation and interest in their eyes. "What if we don't use a fear tactic on the League? What if we just tell them what she's done. We all know Dick has some sort of power that allows him to make friends with everybody he meets. If it came down to choosing between Oracle or Nightwing, who do you think they'd chose?"

Bruce smirked evilly. "Tim, you block her phone number on everybody's phones. Jason and Damian, I need you guys to talk to the founding members, tell them that we're out of town and that we need them to patrol Gotham for us. Make sure you tell them about Dick and Barbara when they ask why. And make sure that the info is leaked into the daily bulletin in the Watch Tower. I need to go back to Dick before he wakes up." With that the Bat Clan dispersed and went to complete their tasks.

* * *

Barbara felt miserable. She had kicked Dick out of his own apartment a week ago, and he had yet to come back and beg her to change her mind. They had a system. Barbara exploded and said things that she did not mean, Dick left wearing an expression that resembled a kicked puppy's, Dick came back the next day with flowers and apologized even though it was Barbara's fault.

She had tried calling his brother's to casually ask if they had seen him, but nobody was answering. Barbara was beginning to think that Dick had actually told them what had happened. Was it possible that she had lost him for good?

What made matters worse was that nobody seemed to need Oracle. Not a single call had been made from the Bat Clan or the Justice League, despite the fact that she saw their fights on the TV. She had tried to radio the Justice League to see if she could be of any service, even if they asked her to teach them how to secure files she would have been happy. But whenever she radioed, the person on the other end would say something along the lines of _We don't like or need Oracle._ One time she even got a _Why'd you do it?_ Before the person on the other end of the line burst into tears.

Finally, she resorted to hacking the Watch Tower. She found nothing in the ordinary until she found a brief passage in the daily bulletin from a week ago reporting that she had broken Nightwing's heart and that the wedding was off.

Enraged, she left the apartment and went to the manor. How dare he report their private lives to the entire Justice League! How dare he besmirch the name of Oracle because she hurt his feelings! When she arrived at the manor, she pounded on the door. When nobody answered, she continued to pound yelling at the occupants to open the door.

"They can't hear you." A voice sounded from behind her. Spinning her chair around, she saw Superman hovering a few feet in front of her.

"And why's that? Take a bottle of sleeping pills?" Came her immediate reply. "Why are you here, you know how Bruce feels about Capes in Gotham."

Superman cocked his head to side and watched her silently before making a small disgusted sound. "They left for Disneyland a week ago. Been there ever since. Batman asked that we patrol Gotham for him. I was patrolling when I heard you pounding on the door, figured I'd stop by."

Barbara gave a small laugh before saying, "You expect me to believe that Bruce willingly went to Disneyland?"

Clark shook his head before saying, "For a woman who was going to marry his son, you sure don't know him very well. When he finally got Dick to tell him why he was so upset, he decided that the whole family should go to Disneyland because Dick had once told him it was the happiest place on earth." Clark landed softly and said, "You crushed him. I came to wish them Bon Voyage, and he did not smile once, just stared off into space until Bruce touched his shoulder and pulled him out of it. I've known him since he was eight, and I've never seen him like that. "

"He told the League. Now known of them will use Oracle. And he doesn't even have the decency to pick up the phone when I call." Barbara said, holding desperately onto the last bit of her anger. If she didn't have her anger, than she would just be a woman who ruined the best thing that she ever had. The best thing she ever would have.

Clark started to lift off slowly. "No. His brother's told the founding members. Leaked the information too I'm sure, but Dick hasn't said anything to anyone. Nobody's heard from him at all. People decided that they couldn't work with you without betraying Dick, and as you know, everybody likes him, even the villains. As for the phone calls, Bruce asked if he could hold onto Dick's phone for awhile, said it might be good for him to separate from it. Dick agreed. And I'm fairly certain that the rest of the Bat Clan decided to block your phone number. Anyways I gotta go. Goodbye Oracle."

As she watched him fly away, Barbara couldn't help but think that his departure seemed very final. And that's when it struck her. Superman didn't believe that he would ever talk to her again, let alone to Oracle. Oracle had been blacklisted by every League member because she had hurt Nightwing.

Suddenly the gravity of her situation hit her. Dick was not coming back, not this time. She had pushed him away countless times, and he had always come back more determined than before. She had made the fatal assumption that he would not have a breaking point, and would always return when she decided that she wanted him. Now she had to deal with the consequences.

When she got back to the apartment she looked around slowly. It had been Dick's apartment, but he had let her decorate everything as she saw fit. He had made sure that everything was wheelchair accessible, especially in the kitchen because he knew how important her independence was. Now, all she could see was the small nick in the wall where her engagement ring hit when she threw it at him. And all she could feel was the emptiness in her heart and in the home that surrounded her.

Quickly she packed a bag and left for her father's house. When he opened his door, he was surprised to find his daughter openly crying and clutching an overnight bag. "Barbara! What happened! Where's Dick? Did he do something to you?"

This seemed to make her wail harder before she hiccupped, "I kicked him out a week ago, and I just found out that Bruce took them all to Disneyland! He's not coming back this time!"

Jim Gordon was at a loss for what to do. Ushering his daughter inside he tried to soothe her. "I'm sure you can work things out when he comes back."

Barbara looked up at him with giant wet green eyes before saying, "Not this time Daddy. Not this time. This time I went way too far. I broke him."

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 **A/N: Okay word of warning, these oneshots are not connected and are completely out of order. If I do a multishot, it will be marked as such and in order. Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. War

**War**

Dick snuck stealthily through the manor. The consequences of being caught by his brothers were extremely high. Mostly extreme bragging rights and the loss of any dignity that his brothers had yet to take away. Somehow an impromptu paintball war had started in the manor, and Dick wasn't sure what was going to be worse. When Alfred came back from the errands he was doing and saw the damage, or when Bruce returned home from work and saw the damage. Both would be bad, and knowing his brothers, Dick would stake his inheritance that they would blame him.

Now the question was how to defeat his brothers. Jason would be the real challenge, as he was without a doubt the best marksman in the family. Damian would be tricky because of his natural silence and his size. The kid could pop out of anywhere. And Tim was likely to have set up a trap of death somewhere.

The ultimate goal here, was to survive until he could make a plan playing off his strengths. Maybe he could give them the puppy eyes until they shot themselves? He didn't think that would work. He could always use that special bond that he had with Bruce to force the man into not only participating, but helping him.

Thinking of Bruce made him smile as he rolled behind the sofa in the den. The man might pretend that he didn't have any emotions, but he really had a heart of gold. He remembered the first time that he ever went paintballing. He was eight, and Bruce had just adopted him. Their relationship was strained at best as Dick hardly ever saw the man. He could only assume that the gossip magazines were correct and that Dick was a charity case. Bruce had surprised him by walking into his room one Saturday morning and asking if he wanted to go and do something together.

Dick had hesitantly said yes and the two had traveled in the car for an hour. When they had arrived, Dick had been confused. It was not some fancy place like he had expected of Bruce Wayne, but a dusty field with weird inflatables. Everything in sight was covered in paint. Dick had looked at Bruce in confusion and the man had explained, "Someone once brought me here to show me that not all guns equated to death. I thought I'd show you something similar even though you didn't have the same experience with guns as I did. Besides," Bruce said with a shrug, "I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie."

Dick had smiled at that statement and then followed behind Bruce. When the man had started to talk to someone at the front desk, Dick had hidden behind the man's leg. Bruce couldn't help but smile at that, and to his own surprise, had put a hand on Dick's head.

When Bruce had purchased the equipment, he had explained the game to Dick. "So we're going to work together against other teams to try and shoot them with these guns." When Bruce had seen the fear in Dick's eyes, he had crouched down next to the boy. "These are special guns, they shoot paint. The worse they can do is leave a bruise." When the boy looked at him with suspicion, he demonstrated by shooting himself. Instead of blood seeping out of his leg like Dick had expected, there was a big yellow paint splatter.

Bruce had watched as the boy's face transformed. The fear had melted out of his eyes, only to be replaced by an unequivocal joy that made Bruce's heart soar. Dick had practically dragged him to the 'battlefield.' The best part of that day, was that it was the day that their inseparable bond started.

Dick was startled out of his memories when he heard a large bang and shouts coming from the direction of Bruce's office. Dick winced thinking of the undoubtedly explosive reaction that Bruce would have. There was no way that he could cover for them, as Bruce had security cameras in there.

Dick heard more crashing and more panicked shouts. Then there was silence. Silence scared Dick a lot more than the yelling because the Wayne manor was never silent. Even in the dead of night, someone was making noise due to a nightmare. Now the real question was whether or not he should approach them.

It was just as likely that the boys were banding together to take him down. Or it could be that they destroyed Bruce's sacred place. That said, Dick let out a humongous sigh. He couldn't let his brothers be severely maimed because he didn't try and help them fix whatever mess they'd made.

He heard his brothers running down the hallways, and he sighed before steeling himself. Steeling himself, he checked to see if the safety of his paintball gun was off and then snuck into the hallway. Quietly, he crept down the long hallway to Bruce's office. If he was caught, it would be a bloodfield as there was no cover.

He reached Bruce's office and peaked inside. The walls were covered in the different paint colors that represented his different brothers. Red for Jason, yellow for Tim, green for Damian, and he himself was blue.

Looking at the paint on the walls, he squinted. If you looked closely and expanded the margins slightly, they looked like the symbols for their respective costumes. Dick suddenly had an amazing idea. He knew that his father would hardly find it funny, and probably turn a bright purple, but that way his brothers could blame him. Bruce would defiantly ground his twenty three year old son, but Dick had long ago learned how to end his punishment early.

Dick slung the paintball gun over his shoulder and walked whistling down the hallway. As expected he immediately had three different guns pointed at him. Holding his hands up in the air, he said, "I come in peace." He was instantly shot by each of his brothers. "Come on guys, truce. I have an idea on how to fix Bruce's office so that he is angry at me and not you. Besides, I haven't seen his face turn purple in so long."

Surprisingly, that was all it took to get his brothers to agree to his plan without even knowing what it was. They followed him back down the hallway and into Bruce's office. When Dick explained his plan, Jason actually cheered before declaring, "I don't think that I can call you the Golden Boy anymore after this!"

Dick made a giant bow and saw that Damian and Tim were slightly more reserved in their glee, but were still grinning. As they started their work, Dick let out a cackle and his brother's joined in. Pretty soon, it sounded as if their were a bunch of villains redecorating Bruce's office.

* * *

Bruce walked into his oddly quiet house. Something was not right, he could feel it. Dick ran into the foyer and immediately launched himself at Bruce. Bruce was ready for some sort of attack, but the only thing he got was a huge hug. Looking down at his son, he noticed that there was paint in his hair. Dread seeped into Bruce, as a child, Dick getting a hold on paint meant murals on his walls, and somehow he didn't think that that had changed.

When Dick released him, he said, "I should let you get settled in. I mean, you haven't even put your briefcase in your office yet!" With that, his oldest son bounded away, leaving Bruce both confused and slightly afraid.

When Bruce arrived at his office, he found a sticky note on the door.

 **Dad-**

 **Thought you could use some** _ **color**_ **in your life.**

 **Love always,**

 **Dick**

 **P.S. While I got some helping hands, this was all my idea!**

Bruce took a steadying breath before he walked into his office. Paint splattered the walls in different colors. Each color made the symbol for each of their alter egos. There was the symbol for Nightwing in blue, Red Hood in red, Red Robin in yellow, and Robin in green. Bruce could tell that the boys had used paintball guns to create the symbols.

A blob of paint fell and hit him on the cheek. Looking up, he saw that the ceiling was completely covered in a giant black bat. Bruce surprised himself by only grinding his teeth before he left the room to find his sons.

* * *

From Tim's room, the four boys watched as Bruce's face turned purple and steam seemed to blow out from his ears before he put down his suitcase and left the room. Giving each other wide eyed looks, they immediately scattered. Dick simply walked to the hallway closet and brought out cleaning supplies.

Bruce was stomping around the house trying to find his sons when he saw Dick pass him with cleaning supplies. Instantly he was calm. Dick had never planned for the redecoration to be permanent, which puzzled Bruce. Dick liked pranks, but he never did anything that would violate his study because that was Bruce's sacred spot. Everything else was fair game. So why did he do it now?

Bruce silently followed Dick and watched as he started to soak the stains with denatured alcohol and then scrub at it with a sponge. Bruce cleared his throat slightly before leaning back onto the doorframe. "Why'd you do it?"

Dick started to say something about color before Bruce stopped him. "We both know that you never mess with my office, and if you really wanted to add color in here you would've given me a potted plant or a picture of us. So why'd you do this?"

Dick dropped the sponge in the bucket of warm water before saying, "World's greatest detective indeed. But I refuse to incriminate me or my brothers." He leaned against the wall, mimicking Bruce's position.

"Off the record then." Bruce tried.

"Fine. It's possible that we were having a paintball war indoors again. And it isn't outside the realm of possibility that Jason, Tim, and Damian staged a battle in here. It's likely that when I saw the damage, I knew that you'd be mad. Hypothetically, I would have wanted to minimize the damages and thought that the stains sort of looked like an abstract version of our symbols. Theoretically, I might have then enlisted the help of three very sorry boys to make it look like it was one of my great ideas that drive you crazy." Dick said everything in one breath and gulped for air by the time he was done.

Bruce sighed and then laughed. It was just like Dick to take the blame and to make an accident seem like it was done on purpose. "What's with the giant bat then? I use the black paintballs, so that was done entirely on purpose."

Dick looked up at it and smiled. "It's symbolic." When Bruce said nothing, Dick looked over and saw the confusion in his eyes. "Batman watches over us. He protects us from the worst of humanity and tries to keep the horrors at bay. I thought with Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, and Nightwing all represented on the walls, it was only fair to include him on the ceiling where he could watch over them." Dick shrugged before saying. "It didn't feel right not including him."

Bruce tried to subtly wipe a tear away from his eye, but he knew that Dick had seen it. Grabbing some of the cleaning supplies, he said, "Come on Chum. Let's get the paint off the wall before Alfred sees it. I'm positive the man knows about it already, but at least he'll have nothing to complain about."

Dick raised a shocked eyebrow. "You're going to help me?"

Bruce shrugged before replying, "Sure. Then we can talk about how grounded you are."

Dick smirked devilishly before he said, "How about we just clean together, and I won't tell Alfred that you instigated the first paintball war in this house. If I do remember correctly, I took the fall for the three broken Ming Vases, and the utter destruction of his favorite vacuum and feather duster."

Bruce paused what his scrubbing before hastily saying, "You got yourself a deal, and I'll even allow you to help me 'brighten' up the place with a plant and photo of your choosing if you agree to never speak of the first paintball war again." Alfred may have forgiven Dick after a few months of dirty looks and burnt food, but he would do a lot worse to Bruce, especially because the man had let his twelve year old son take the fall for him.

The men cleaned in compatible silence, both thinking back on how much fun they had had the first paintball war. Alfred had left them for three days, and Bruce had thought that paintballing in the house would be a good idea. He had shot his ward in the butt three times before the boy had managed to escape and retrieve his own paintball gear. From there on out it had been survival of the fittest. Alfred came back only to find that every surface inside the manor was covered in paint. When he had finally found his charges, he found Dick waving a white underwear flag, while Bruce was aiming at him from the other side of the room. Needless to say, Alfred had been quite angry.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Bruce had found his office redecorated. When he entered his office, he found that there was a fern sitting in the corner of the office. Spotting a card, he quickly read it.

 **Dad-**

 **I figured a fern would be appropriate as they were around with the dinosaurs, just like you.**

 **-Dick**

Bruce shook his head. He would get revenge for that comment, one way or another. Taking another quick glance around the office, he spotted a framed picture on his desk. Lifting it up, he felt a grin settled on his face. It was a picture of the first time that Bruce had ever taken Dick paintballing. Both were covered in paint, and grinning at each other. Bruce hadn't seen it at the time, but Dick's eyes reflected adoration and amusement. Bruce himself was grinning ear to ear in the photo and looking back, it was probably the first genuine smile that he had since his parents' were murdered.

Settling the photo on his desk carefully, Bruce thought that maybe, he could overlook the comment on his age just this once.


	4. Breakfast Debates

**Breakfasts Debates**

Bruce walked into the kitchen hearing yelling. Sighing to himself, he wondered what exactly his sons could be disagreeing about already at this ungodly hour. Pulling his robe around him tighter, Bruce stumbled into the kitchen.

Taking a sip of his coffee, he listened to what they were actually saying.

"Cereal is the best thing for you in the morning! It provides nutritional value!" Dick yelled.

"It also had a bucket load of sugar, unlike my bread!" Jason yelled back.

"Yeah. The sugar wakes you up and get's you ready for the day!" Dick continued.

"My coffee does a way better job at waking me up than your cereal does!" Tim interrupted.

"Ttt. Idiots. My tea is by far the most superior. It has the caffeine of Drake's coffee and will not induce diabetes like Grayson's coffee."

Bruce watched the debate while slowly sipping at his coffee. When Alfred walked up besides him to refill his cup he turned to his oldest friend. "Have they been at it for long?"

"All morning Sir. This is a daily debate afterall."

Bruce looked at him with some interest. "Everyday?"

"Yes Sir. They usually finish before you awaken. I do believe that they're winding down now."

Bruce watched as his boys stopped yelling at each other, and Dick grabbed some coffee, Damian some cereal, Tim some toast, and Jason the tea. They all looked at each other with skepticism before simultaneously saying, "This does not mean I agree with you!"

They seemed to relax slightly before turning to face Bruce. "Hey Dad. Didn't see you there. You're up early!" Dick said while bounding over to him and giving him a giant hug. Dick was unlike his other brothers in which he actually liked physical contact. Hugging his son, he turned to face the rest of them.

"You guys really have a breakfast debate everyday?" Bruce asked incredulously.

"Of course. We have to defend our favorites. It's on principle." Jason said with a shrug.

Bruce stared at his son and when he saw the earnestness in his expression, he couldn't help but facepalm.

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 **A/N: I put the next story in the Nightwing is Den Mother series up. It's titled _To 'Live' Again_**

 **Please review!**


	5. To Be Three Again (part 1)

**To be Three Again**

It was supposed to be a normal day. Dick had started the day in a business meeting and now, he was he was out on patrol. It was a relatively quiet night in Gotham, he had worked together with Damian to stop a robbery, and now they were meeting up with Tim, Jason, and Bruce.

By some miracle, everyone was working together, and not fighting. Dick would take his blessings where he could get them. When they met up on top of Wayne Corp, he surveyed his family. They were all relaxed except Bruce. As usual, the man was scanning Gotham below them, ready to launch into action at any moment. Dick sighed. Some things would never change.

Sitting down next to his father, he asked in an exaggerated whisper, "What do you see Boss."

Bruce turned to look at him, and Dick knew that under his mask, the man was wearing a look of exasperation. "You know I'm looking for trouble, Nightwing." Bruce practically growled.

Dick stood up and spun around with his arms spread wide. "What trouble, Boss?"

As it was queued, there was a bright flash of green light by the Gotham docks. Batman leaped off the building, used his grappling hook to slow his descent, and landed straight in the Batmobile. Jason turned to Dick before saying, "You just had to fucking jinx us Golden Boy?" With that, all four of them jumped off the roof and grappled to their motorcycles. Damian let out a indignant sound as he climbed on the back of Dick's. The kid was angry that Bruce had told him that he was not allowed to have his own until he was twelve.

The boys rushed off to Gotham docks, breaking more traffic laws than Dick cared to think about. When they arrived, they found Batman in a standoff with a new villain. As usual the villain was monologuing his greatness. Batman made no move to look at them as they approached and Dick found himself actually listening to the last part of the monologue. "I am the Babyfier! And I will wipe all of you out with my Baby Maker, starting with your youngest!" While the villain was adjusting his gun, Jason yelled out while laughing, "Dude! Do you even hear yourself!" Suddenly their was a bright green ray heading for Damian. Dick didn't even think, he just threw himself in front of the boy.

Surprisingly, he felt no pain. He felt warm and swaddled. When he opened his eyes, he figured out why. He was tiny! And his costume was hanging limply around his bare feet. Dick blushed when he realized that his underwear was wrapped around his feet too. He quickly sat down and covered himself, while he watched Damian savagely tackle the villain and Jason rip the gun thing out of his hand. Bruce was finally able to get Damian off the man and lifted the villain off the ground by his collar. "What did you do?"

The villain squirmed before saying, "It was supposed to wipe the kid off this plain of existence! But the older one got in the way, he'll reverse back to normal in a little over than a week. How were you able to stop me? I should have been invincible!"

Tim gave him a scandalized look before saying, "Dude. You named your weapon the Baby Maker, that should have been a clue that you were going to fail. I mean seriously, the Baby Maker? Even Joker names his weapons better!"

Jason looked around curiously before saying, "Hey where is Dickhead anyways?"

Dick babbled something incoherently, before yelling "Dada! Dada!"And bursting into tears. Why was he crying? He was twenty three years old! Suddenly it dawned on Dick, he was twenty three in a three year old's body. He was going to have the same problems any three year old would have but he still had the brain of an adult. This was going to be so much fun. For him, definitely not for anyone else.

* * *

When Bruce heard a child yelling out for his father, he forgot his his search for his son and went to look for the boy. What he found, rattled him to the core. There was a toddler lying in a Nightwing uniform. The child lifted his arms up and yelled, "Dada!" with so much excitement that Bruce's heart melted. Lifting the child up, Bruce immediately noticed that the child was naked. Wrapping the child up in his cape, Bruce yelled out for his other sons.

As soon as they arrived, Damian demanded, "Have you found Nightwing father?"

The boy in his arms squirmed and reached out for Damian. "Dami! I wan Dami!" The boy was struggling so hard that Bruce thrust him into Damian's surprised arms. Bruce would never admit it, but it hurt that his son wanted to be held by anyone other than him.

"No way is that Dickhead." Jason said. "Seriously, Old Man, what's the punchline to this joke?"

Dick's head perked up from where it was resting on Damian's shoulder. "Jayjay! I wan JayJay!" When Damian practically threw Dick at Jason, Bruce growled. Jason caught the child and immediately received a sloppy wet kiss. "I wuv you Jayjay!"

At this point, Tim had noticed the pattern and held his arms out for the child. Dick looked confused when Jason handed him to someone else but as soon as he saw Tim, he gave a sloppy smile. "Timmy!" The squeal hurt everyone's ears.

"Okay, now that we know that it's Dick, what do we do with him?" Jason asked.

Bruce grunted softly before saying, "I'll take him home in the Batmobile. Robin take Red Robin's bike home, and Red Robin take Nightwing's." When he saw the raised eyebrows, he continued. "Robin, you're way too small for Nightwing's bike. You'll fit better on Red Robin's. Red Robin will be able to take the other bike home. But first could you make a pit stop? Nightwing will need some clothes. And whatever else you three can think of. Take the civvies out of the trunk of the Batmobile."

Hearing Bruce's voice, Dick stirred from where he was comfortably resting in Tim's arms. "Daddy?" He raised his arms up and immediately Bruce swept him up into his arms.

"I'll take the munchkin home. You guys have money?"

Tim waved off his father. "We've got this. Just take the kid home." If Dick was not so comfortable in Bruce's arms, he would have protested at being called 'munchkin' and the 'kid', but as it was, he was being lolled off into sleep.

Next thing he knew, Bruce was strapping him into the Batmobile. As the man walked around to the other side of the car, Dick had an evil idea. Quickly he reached over and pushed the lock button.

When Bruce tried to enter the car, he found that it was locked. Peeking inside the car he saw Dick smiling and waving at him. Bruce frowned and hit the button on his belt to unlock the Batmobile. Immediately Dick pressed the lock button again, while making silly faces. Bruce bit back a growl as he tried again.

Dick laughed as he made faces at Bruce. He had always wanted to do this, but at eight years old, he knew how much trouble he was in. To his fortune, he was now a toddler, and you can't punish a toddler.

After ten minutes of this game, he grew bored. Instead of locking the door again, he hit the horn as hard as he could. This was definitely more fun than hitting the lock button.

Bruce swore as he finally unlocked the door and picked his son up and away from the car horn. By now the Commissioner was arriving to pick up the villain. Swaddling the boy, he buckled him up again and drove away before the Commissioner could talk to him.

* * *

Commissioner Gordon was confused. The Bat was famous for his getaways, but usually, he stuck around to talk to him. What struck him as the most odd, was that for a moment, he could have sworn that Batman was holding a toddler.

* * *

Bruce was speeding back to the manor. Dick kept reaching out to push buttons on the Batmobile, so Bruce had to be extra cautious to be sure that his son didn't touch anything. He used to wonder what Dick had been like as a baby, but now he was kind of glad that he had only gotten the boy after he turned eight.

The video monitor turned on and Alfred's worried face popped up. "Sir, are you all alright? Neither you or the boys have checked in yet, and I've been dreadfully worried."

Bruce sighed. He knew he had been forgetting something. "Alfie! Hi! Daddy it's Alfie!" The boy besides him squealed.

Alfred raised one eyebrow before asking, "Sir. Is there anything that you wish to tell me?"

"Dick got turned into a toddler. The villain said the effects should last around a week, so I have the boys picking up some than being little, he seems to be in good health. He's acting like a toddler, but he seems to know who we all are." Bruce explained.

"Ah. So he has no recollection besides who you are." Alfred stated. "And I presume, you are the Daddy?" With that Alfred hung up, leaving Bruce sputtering for a response.

Dick meanwhile was smirking devilishly at the window. He did in fact remember everything, unlike what Bruce and Alfred presumed. He was definitely going to milk this for all its worth.

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 **A/N: Part 1 of I don't know how many! We'll see how long inspiration strikes before I decide to end it.**

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 **Any ideas for this story, or prompts for a different story, let me know!**


	6. To Be Three Again (part 2)

**To be Three Again Part 2**

As soon as Bruce unbuckled Dick, he ran naked around the Batcave. He would stop every once and awhile to check things of interest. When he climbed the dinosaur, Bruce experienced a mini heart attack. He suddenly knew why parents constantly worried over their children. He had gotten his boys when they were older, and therefore did not need constant supervision.

Walking up beside the dinosaur, his heart lept out of his throat when Dick noticed him and yelled, "Catch me!" before jumping. Bruce felt like the kid had taken years off of his life before he caught the boy. Of course Dick just giggled before trying to escape his arms.

Bruce tightened his hold on the boy before bringing him to the changing rooms. There was no way he could leave the boy unattended, and he had to change out of costume. Sitting the boy down he told him to 'stay' before he started to quickly undress and toss the Batman costume to the floor. As quickly as possible, he put on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt.

Turning to where he left the boy, Bruce tried to swallow down the fear when he noticed the boy was not there. Before he could dash out of the room, he noticed the Batman costume wiggle. Then the cutest thing he'd ever seen appeared.

Dick's head popped out of the pile, with the cowl sitting crookedly on his pixie face. Seeing his father smiling down at him, Dick grinned before yelling, "I Batman!"

Bruce swooped the child into his arms before running around with the giggling child in his arms. It was something he could remember his father doing when he was still small enough to carry. "Villains beware! Batman is here to save the day!" Bruce shouted and the child squealed with laughter.

Alfred walked into the cave to see Bruce swinging a laughing child around. Alfred looked closely at his charges. Master Dick was naked except for the fact that he had Batman's cowl and was laughing wildly. Alfred turned his attention to Master Bruce and had to blink in surprise. The man seemed lighter than he had in many years and Alfred could not help but send a silent 'thank you' to the villain that had turned Master Dick into a child.

Walking up to the pair, Alfred cleared his throat. "Master Bruce. Perhaps you would like to help give the young master a bath upstairs. I'm sure by the time you're finished, the other's will have returned with clothes."

Bruce nodded before carefully removing the cowl from Dick's head and handing it over to Alfred. Dick made a cute little whine, and Bruce's insides melted. He never thought he'd live to see the day where he thought that something was cute. He understood now why every parent believed their child was the most precious thing in the world. But in his case, he was definitely right. Dick was cuter than any child he had ever met.

Bruce carried the boy up the stairs and into the bathroom. Carefully, he held the boy to his chest while he filled the tub. When the water was the perfect temperature, Bruce set the boy inside the tub and turned to find the baby shampoo. Alfred had meticulously changed the labels so that Damian would not realize that he was using 'baby' shampoo and not adult shampoo. When he turned back to face the tub. He got a face full of water.

* * *

Dick liked that Bruce was having so much fun with him. He knew that the man was always self-conscious of his parenting, even if he would never admit it. When he saw how much Bruce was enjoying the 'mini him,' Dick made himself a vow to give Bruce the whole toddler experience, which definitely included bratty toddler. So when the man had turned around to grab shampoo, Dick prepared himself. As soon as Bruce was facing him again, Dick splashed as much water as possible at his face.

Bruce blinked in surprise as water dripped down his face and his son giggled before moving to slash him again. Bruce took watery abuse as he gently rinsed Dick's hair before adding the shampoo. Dick stopped splashing the water and leaned into his hands. Bruce felt his mouth twitch. Apparently even as a young child his son craved physical contact.

When he finished rinsing his son off, he picked the dripping child up and wrapped his in the biggest and fluffiest towel that he could find. Surprisingly, the child let out a huge yawn and rested his head on Bruce's shoulder with his thumb in his mouth. Bruce made a point of walking past the security camera's and paused in front of one, pretending to observe a painting on the wall. He definitely wanted photos of this experience to keep in his nightstand where nobody would look for it.

As if summoned, Alfred appeared with a camera. "I do believe we should have photos to show the Young Master when he is all grown up Sir." Bruce dutifully posed for the camera, grateful that he would have better quality photos to document this moment.

"The Young Masters have returned Sir. They are awaiting you and Master Dick with some clothing." Alfred informed Bruce with twinkling eyes. He would wait until later to show Master Bruce the photo of the man holding Dick and tenderly kissing his forehead. He would also give a copy to Master Dick when he returned to normal. The man would definitely frame the photo and treasure it.

* * *

When Bruce walked downstairs, he saw his piles of shopping bags littered around the dining room table. "You know this is only for a week right?" Bruce asked while carefully holding his son to his chest.

"Do you know all the things a toddler need?" Tim asked rhetorically. "We had to buy clothes, wet wipes, a car seat, pajamas, wet wipes, baby shampoo, some toys, and diapers."

"Diapers?" Bruce asked in shock. "Isn't Dick potty trained by now?"

"Bruce, he doesn't remember anything, and I did some research." Jason coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'nerd.' Tim ignored him and said, "Dick's what, two, three years old? According to my research, boys are usually potty trained between the ages of eighteen months and four years old. I figured we'd be better safe than sorry."

Bruce nodded his head. "Okay then. Let's put the munchkin in a diaper and some pajamas. Alfred's setting up the nursery, so we can put him to bed afterwards." Pawing through the shopping bags, Bruce noticed a common thing. "You got him Batman clothes?"

Jason snorted. "We got him Bat Clan clothing. You have the official, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, and Batman merchandise in there. Toddler edition of course."

Bruce shook his head in amusement, but after putting Dick in his diaper and decking him in a Batman onesie, decided that it was a great idea. The kid looked adorable. Unfortunately, Dick had woken up, but he remained quiet as Bruce carried him into the nursery. Settling him in the crib that had seen no use since Bruce was a child, Bruce softly stroked his hair. Dick looked up at him with wide and innocent eyes, before grabbing Bruce's hand and curling around it.

Bruce let the child hold his hand for a moment before trying to pull away. When that didn't work, Bruce resulted to pleading with the toddler. "Chum, you gotta let go. I have a long day of work tomorrow, I have to go to bed."

Dick looked up at him, more alert, but refused to let go of his hand. "Wok. What wok?"

"It's something that grown ups have to do Chum. Believe me, I rather stay here all day."

That did not seem to be the right thing to say, and Dick's tiny face scrunched up and fat tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. "You go away?"

Bruce panicked. How was he supposed to answer that? "Kiddo, if you promise to go to sleep now, I promise to come back from work at lunch. Deal?"

Dick seemed to think it over carefully before he let go of Bruce's hand. Bruce checked one last time to make sure that his son was all tucked in before he left the room. At the doorway, he lingered momentarily. "I love you" he all but whispered. Dick must of heard him because he heard a sleepy 'wuv you' in return.

Checking briefly on the rest of his sleeping sons, Bruce returned to his room and fell into his bed. It was only a matter of seconds before he fell asleep.

* * *

Dick waited for an hour before he silently climbed out of the crib. It was almost insulting that they thought the crib could hold him. Of course nobody knew that he still had the mind of a twenty three year old. Dick crept down the hallway and into Bruce's room. Making sure not to wake the man, he opened the man's closet. Now to make sure that Bruce could not go to work the next day.

Bruce only had ten pairs of work shoes. Silently he grabbed a stray shopping bag, and loaded it full of the left shoes. Then he silently crept out of the closet, closing the door behind him. Dick soundlessly made his way out of the room and down the stairs. Bruce would be frantically looking for his shoes in the next morning, so he entered the one place that Bruce was not allowed to enter. The kitchen.

Opening the pantry, Dick pulled out bin of sugar and flour, and stashed the bag of shoes. Then he pushed the bins back in place and checked to see that the bag was hidden. Pleased with himself he turned to see Alfred standing behind him with a raised eyebrow. Dick couldn't say anything but "Uh oh."

* * *

Alfred had heard shuffling in the kitchen and had gone to investigate. Most likely he would find one of the boys looking for a glass of water. To his surprise he found a toddler stashing a bag of shoes in his pantry. When the boy had said 'uh oh' his only response was "Uh oh, indeed Master Dick. Would you mind explaining to me what is going on?"

Dick shuffled around nervously. He knew that he would have to tell Alfred, but he did not think he would be caught red handed. He thought that he would get the butler alone, or leave him a criptive note. "Alfie, Bruce said he was gonna go wok." he was frustrated that he couldn't speak properly, but what was he going to do. He couldn't change that.

"Master Dick. No normal toddler would fully understand the implications of that, and think to steal his shoes. Now would you mind telling me the truth?"

Dick pouted before saying, "I don't know. I member my life, but I can't tawk and I have impulshes."

"Do you mean to say impulses, Master Dick?" When he say Dick's nod, he asked, "What kind of impulses?"

"I wanna cwy and sweep more and I wanna pway." Dick said sorrowfully.

Alfred looked thoughtful momentarily before saying, "If I have it correctly, Master Dick, you are a twenty three year old stuck in a three year old's body, and you have compulsions to act like a three year old?"

Dick nodded his head. "Yeah!"

"Then why did you steal Master Bruce's shoes?"

Dick stomped his foot. "He wanna go to wok Alfred! I wanna pway with him! I'm gonna be like this for a week and I wanna Bruce to have fun! He likes me like this! I wanna pway!" By the end, Dick was crying.

Alfred scooped him up and made a soothing noise. "How about a compromise then. I'll keep your secret and allow you to keep the shoes hidden if you keep the Master away from the Gotham streets. He need a vacation, and toddlers are very challenging."

Dick gave the butler a megawatt smile. "Deal!"

Alfred smiled down at his young charge. This would definitely be a very interesting week. "Let's get you a glass of warm milk and then get you back to bed."

When Alfred tucked him in again, he said, "I shall wipe the security cameras for you. No doubt he will blame one of your brothers, but with no evidence, I shall not allow him to punish them." Dick gave him a sleepy smile in return before promptly falling asleep.

Watching the sleeping child. Alfred smiled. An interesting week indeed.

* * *

The next morning, Dick was awakened by a loud yell. "Who stole all my shoes!"

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 **A/N: So Alfred's in on it. Of course, it's not possible to keep a secret from him, so it was good that he found out so soon. Bruce beware, Dick has a lot of plans headed your way, course the shoe idea came from _Princess0Bunny_. **

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 **Any ideas for plans that Dick might have to troll the Bat Family, let me know. I'm always open to suggestion. And please review!**


	7. To Be Three Again (part 3)

**To Be Three Again Part 3**

Dick waited patiently in his crib for someone to get him. He did not want to display that he could escape yet. When nobody came, made an exasperated noise before he started to cry. He kept wailing until Jason ran into the room and looked around as if expecting a villain to be in there. When he saw nothing, he curiously walked up to Dick. "What's up Dickiebird?"

When Dick made no move to answer, Jason picked him up. "Okay, let's get Alfred to change your diaper and put you in day clothed. Then we can get some grub."

Dick allowed his eyes to remain huge and watery, but reduced his crying to a sniffle. He knew he looked pathetic, but Jason was more likely to do what he wanted this way. "Daddy?"

Jason snorted before grinning. "You want Daddy to change your diaper and get you ready?"

Dick pretended he didn't know what Jason was saying and muttered 'Daddy' once again. In the inside he was smirking. Alfred did encourage him to give Bruce the full toddler experience after all. That definitely included changing dirty diapers.

Jason took Dick to Bruce's room the whole time cooing that Bruce would make everything better if Dick said something along the lines of 'change my diaper daddy.' Dick decided that he would play along, as it might come to his advantage later if Jason thought he was trainable.

When Jason barged into Bruce's room, Dick struggled to not burst out laughing as the man was chucking things out of his closet as if that would magically make his left shoes appear. "Bruce!" Jason yelled.

The man came out of the closet and immediately asked, "Did you take all my left shoes?"

Jason snorted before thrusting Dick into his arms. "Why would I do that Old Man? I would say it was Dick, but obviously he's a little indisposed right now."

Bruce nodded. Jason had a warped sense of humor and would be unlikely to find taking his shoes funny. Especially, he held Dick away from his body, so he could look him in the eye. "Did you take my shoes?"

Dick gave him a blinding grin before saying, "Change ma diaper Daddy!" Bruce looked up to where Jason was in horror only to discover that the boy was gone.

* * *

After changing Dick's dirty diaper, and putting him in some clothes, Bruce carried the boy down. The whole time Dick was chattering happily in his ear. Bruce had no idea what the child was saying half the time, but he was happy to indulge the child.

When they entered the kitchen, Dick happily greeted the rest of the family before leaning out of Bruce's arms and reaching for the Lucky Charms that Jason was eating. "Wucky Charms! I wan Wucky Charms!" Bruce grabbed a bowl and poured the cereal, before settling the squirming boy in his lap.

Dick stuffed the cereal in his mouth, spilling some on the table. Bruce kept one arm around Dick while he sipped at his coffee. The boy chattered at everyone who would listen while happily stuffing cereal in his mouth. Jason laughed before saying, "Happy to see that Dickhead enjoyed cereal even as a kid."

Finishing his coffee, Bruce let out a sigh. "Who took all my left shoes this morning? I can't go to work without my shoes."

That perked Dick up. "No wok?"

Bruce frowned slightly before saying, "No Kiddo, I still have to go to work, I just have to find my shoes first."

Dick started jumping in Bruce's lap. "No wok! Daddy pway wit me all day!"

Bruce stilled, "Dick I have to go. Daddy's have to go to work. You can play with your brothers."

Dick allowed a few fat tears to leak from his eyes before making his eyes huge. "I wanna pway wit Daddy and bodders." Dick started to cry in earnest.

Bruce started to panic. What was he supposed to do. Alfred gave him a pointed glare. Bruce wilted. Looks like he would be taking a week off of work. "Okay Buddy, I'll stay home. We'll spend the whole week together, you win. Please stop crying."

Like a switch, Dick stopped crying and gave Bruce a beaming smile. "Pway!" When Bruce turned his back on Dick to continue interrogating the other three boys about his disappearing shoes, Alfred handed Dick a sippy cup before slyly allowing the boy to fist pump him. Bruce had really stood no chance.

* * *

Dick sat angrily by himself on a mat in the Batcave surrounded by toys. When he said that he wanted to play, this was definitely not what he had in mind. Bruce had decided to train, since he was taking the day off. As so, all his brothers had quickly abandoned him for training, leaving Dick all alone. Now as he sat, sadly playing with his toy dinosaur, he plotted. How was he supposed to get the attention of his brothers and his father? He could do something that would be considered dangerous for a child.

Grinning, Dick quietly stood up and wandered around the cave. Seeing a pile of Batarangs in a bag, he grabbed it. He knew that Bruce needed them to be polished or sharpened and that was why they were in the bag, but this fit his purpose perfectly.

Carefully, he picked up the bag and moved soundlessly to the beams that connected to the rafters. Bruce found it amusing that Nightwing enjoyed sitting in the rafters, Dick wondered if he would find it as amusing now that he looked like a toddler. This would definitely teach Bruce that he needed to watch his son and not rely on a pile of toys to keep him entertained. Now, to wait for someone to notice that he was missing.

It disappointed Dick that it took an hour for someone to notice he was missing, and it wasn't even Bruce! Without a doubt in his mind, Dick knew that he was going to have to teach the man parenting skills.

* * *

Damian paused his fight with Jason to grab some water. Silently he observed the Batcave before looking over where Grayson was sitting playing with his toys. Damian did not want to join him in his childish endeavors. Not at all. However, when he looked to where Grayson was sitting, all that was there were his toys. Quickly, Damian looked around the Batcave again, in case Grayson was with one of their other so called brothers.

When Damian could not find his brother after his third scan, he knew something was wrong. "Father! Did Pennyworth take Grayson upstairs?"

His father stopped sparring with Drake to look over at him. "No, Dick's sitting over...where's Dick?"

By now, all his so called brother's were looking around the cave. Todd was saying, "Come out come out wherever you are!" Which in itself sounded ridiculous.

Suddenly Drake paled considerably. "Bruce? You know how Dick likes messing around in the rafters?" When he received the curious nod from his father, Drake continued, pointing at the ceiling, "I think he liked to do it as a baby."

Damian squinted before he saw it. Grayson was sitting on the rafter with his feet dangling. When Grayson noticed them all staring, he waved happily. "Hi Daddy! Hi bodders!"

Damian watched his father as he seemed to pale and sway on his feet slightly. "Dick, baby, please come down for Daddy!"

Dick pouted before saying, "No! You no pway wit me! I have fun on my own! You pway wit bodders again!"

Jason sighed before trying to climb up the rafters. To his surprise he a batarang grazed his right ear. Gasping he looked up at Dick who was holding another batarang. "I wanna pway by myself. Pway wit Daddy!" Jason immediately jumped to the ground.

"Okay. I'm open to suggestions. What do you think we should do?" Jason asked.

"Dick, sweetheart, we all promise to play with you if you come down." Bruce said kindly.

Dick didn't even pause to think about it before yelling, "NO!"

Tim looked over at Bruce before saying, "The kid is throwing a temper tantrum, you won't get through to him with logic or bribes. We have to wait until he's tired himself out."

Dick responded by throwing a batarang at Tim's face. How dare he imply that Dick was having a temper tantrum, granted, those pesky three year old impulses may be causing him to have one. Dick watched with no interest as Tim barely dodged the batarang and Bruce gawked at him.

"Okay, Dick. What do you want us to do?" Bruce used his best soothing voice to try and calm his son down slightly.

Dick seemed to deflate slightly before he responded. "I wanna pway! But you pway wit my bodders and not me!" Now Dick was crying.

"How about you get down from there, and we'll all go and play outside together. I think Jason bought a ball, right Jason?" Bruce said pleading slightly.

"You bet Bro. It's a Batman bouncy ball. Or I have a Nightwing soccer ball if you prefer that." Jason said.

Dick looked at them with wide eyes. "Bouncy ball?" He asked with wide eyes, and a hopeful gleam in his eyes. Then he frowned. "No. You just come back here tomowow!"

Bruce looked at his sons in shock. He had to give the kid credit, he was right. "You're right Dick. But how about we promise not to visit the Batcave unless it's an emergency until you're a big boy and can put on the Nightwing costume?

Dick looked thoughtful. "Do you promise?"

"Chum, I promise we won't come down here unless it's an emergency." Bruce vowed.

Dick's face brightened. "Bouncy Ball?"

"Let's play together Dickiebird. I'm sorry that we weren't playing with you earlier. Let's try again okay?" Bruce said, gaining confidence at Dick's happy look.

Dick smiled a blinding grin before yelling, "Okay!" and jumping off the rafter.

* * *

Dick knew that he was being bribed with the prospect of playing with a bouncy ball. But something in him told him that it didn't matter as long as everyone was playing with him. Deciding to go for one last shock factor, Dick jumped off the rafter.

He knew that someone would catch him, and if they didn't, he did bring a grappling gun. He didn't want to reveal that he was aware that he was actually twenty three, but if he needed to, he would.

Unsurprisingly, all three of his brothers and his father dove for him. He smiled in amusement as he landed on top of Damian back. Looking down, he noticed that Damian was on top of Jason who was on top of Tim, who was on top of Bruce. Dick couldn't help but burst into laughter and clap his hands. When he heard groans coming from beneath him, he called out, "Again! Again!"

* * *

Alfred watched as Dick chased a Batman Bouncy ball across the grass with the other boys chasing after him. Bruce was yelling for Dick to pass him the ball and Dick was shrieking with laughter.

Alfred recalled when the boys had all come up from the Batcave around lunch. They had reluctantly told him about Dick climbing into the rafters and then jumping down. When Alfred had raised an eyebrow at Dick the boy sent him a wink and made a motion for a grappling gun. The rest of the table's occupants were not paying attention to the small boy. Dick then told him animatedly about a Batman bouncy ball that they were all going to play with.

Now, he watched as his charges raced across the grass, forgetting about any annoyance that they may have had with the boy. Alfred waited another five minutes before calling out to them that dinner was ready. They deserved all the fun they could get.

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 **A/N: Loved all the ideas that people gave me. This was based loosely off of _Princess0Bunny_ 's suggestion. Please review, and if you have any ideas that you think would be good to include let me know!**


	8. To Be Three Again (part 4)

**To Be Three Again Part 4**

Bruce woke up when Dick was thrust into his face by a grumbling Tim. Looking over at the clock he noticed it was only 4:30 a.m. "Tim, why'd you bring him in here?"

Tim made a grumbling noise before saying, "Kid was yelling about needing a diaper changed. Said only 'daddy' could do it. Thank Jason for that." With that Tim stumbled out of the room and into his bed.

Bruce gave Dick a withering look. "You really needed me to change your diaper?" When Dick gave him a nod he sighed and quickly got to work. "You wanna sleep with Daddy for a while?" Dick responded by climbing on top of Bruce's stomach and curling up. Bruce smiled softly and fell asleep once again.

* * *

Bruce was awakened for the second time by yelling. Suddenly the door to his room burst open and Damian stormed in. "Father! Good you're awake! We cannot find Grayson!" Bruce blinked sleepily then looked down at the small boy yawning in his lap. Damian noticed his look and blushed slightly. "Excuse me Father. I must inform the others that Grayson has not been kidnapped like they feared." Bruce noted that the boy did not say that he had been worried, even though he clearly was.

Bruce watched the boy exit the room before he once again looked down at Dick. "Looks like you worried some people this morning Chum. What do you say we get dressed and go meet them so that they can see that you're alright."

Dick gave him a sleepy smile before asking, "Wucky Charms?"

Bruce laughed before saying, "Yes, you can have Lucky Charms too."

Dick nodded and lifted his arms to be picked up. Bruce quickly dressed the child before dressing himself in a pair of jeans and a shirt. He looked over at Dick who was smiling at him in his jeans, Batman shirt with a Nightwing sweatshirt. The boy lifted his arms and Bruce picked him up, and carried him down the stairs.

Entering the kitchen, Bruce turned to the haggard looking boys and butler. "Tim, you brought Dick to me this morning. Said he needed a diaper change."

Jason, Damian, and Alfred turned accusing eyes at Tim. "Why didn't you say that when I asked you where Grayson was?" Damian demanded.

Tim looked confused. "I don't remember that."

Jason snorted. "Whatever. What are we doing with the brat today? I don't think I can stay inside all day."

Alfred placed a bowl of Lucky Charms in front of Dick sharing a secret smile. "I do believe, Master Bruce, that most parents would take their children to the mall, especially as Master Dick seems to be lacking a pair of clean shoes." Alfred was right, Jason had only bought one pair of shoes, and Dick had clearly muddied them while playing outside the day before.

"Alfred, how are we supposed to bring Dick to the mall? Everyone recognises us, and we can't explain why we have a baby!" Bruce demanded. He really didn't want to bring all four boys to the mall, especially as Dick was a child.

Alfred gave him a pointed look before saying, "I have taken the liberty of preparing the Zeta Beams to bring you to Italy. I do believe that you said that nobody recognized you the last time you were there, Master Bruce. Wearing inconspicuous clothing will render you unrecognizable as Bruce Wayne, otherwise just say that the child belongs to a dear friend."

Seeing that he was never going to win, Bruce gave in. "Okay guys, after breakfast, we're going to the mall with Alfred."

"Oh no Sir. I will not be attending. I have a lot of cleaning to do, and unfortunately it is very hard to do when you are here."

* * *

When they were ready to go, Bruce tried to strap Dick into a stroller. The boy started to squirm and shout, before Alfred finally grabbed him away from Bruce. "Sir, I think you should ask him why he does not want to be in the stroller instead of forcing him."

Bruce nodded, quietly stowing the information away. "Kiddo, why don't you want to go in the stroller?"

Dick pouted before saying, "Imma big boy Daddy. I can walk."

When Bruce didn't respond right away, Alfred jumped in. "Master Bruce, you have two options here, you can push the stroller without him in it until he tires, or you can forgo the stroller and carry him. Rest assured he will eventually get tired."

Bruce nodded thoughtfully before turning to Dick. "Chum, would you rather go on a stroller ride or me carry you, if you get tired?" Alfred gave him an approving nod from behind the child.

Dick seemed to think it over carefully before saying, "I wan Daddy to cawy me."

Bruce nodded smiling before turning to Alfred. "We'll leave the stroller. Is the Zeta Beam set?"

"Of course Master Bruce. You shall be next to the The Mall in Florence before you know it. " Alfred said while tapping a few keys on the computer.

Everyone waved goodbye to Alfred before they disappeared in a bright flash of light. "I do hope that Master Dick will be kind to rest of them." Alfred murmured to himself before he marched up the stairs to tackle cleaning the manor.

* * *

Bruce walked out of the shoe store and relaxed slightly. The boy had been relatively easy to shop for. He just walked up to a pair of blue shoes and pointed. It was up to Bruce to find the shoes in the right size. As soon as they paid, the group left the store and looked around. Alfred did not want them back for the rest of the day, so what were they supposed to do?

Finally, it was decided to wander around until they figured out something to do. Dick followed behind, making sure to keep up. He watched his surroundings in awe. It was amazing being small enough to walk in between people's legs. Just then someone pushed him into a display window.

What kind of person pushed a three year old! Shaking himself, he checked the display. It was a toy store! Dick couldn't help himself. He wandered inside and looked at all the shiny toys. When a sales clerk walked up to him, Dick explained that his father was waiting for him to chose a toy, showing the man the money Jason had given him to wake Tim up and request Bruce to perform a diaper change the night before.

The clerk was very helpful afterwards. He showed Dick the most popular toys and after a half hour of deliberation, Dick finally decided on a bear that spoke Italian. The clerk had said that it was handmade and you could record a special message on it. Dick immediately told the clerk that he wanted the bear to say, 'I love you Daddy' so when he was big and strong his father would have a memento of when he was a child.

The clerk had smiled at the boy and showed him how to record the message. Dick knew that he was going to be an adult in a week, but the clerk obviously did not know that. Paying the clerk, Dick skipped out of the store only to realize he had a problem. His family didn't know that he stopped at the toy store, and had continued on without him. Now, he would just have to find them without alerting people that he was traveling alone.

* * *

Bruce turned around to see if Dick was keeping up, but instead found that the child was gone. Panicking, Bruce turned to the other three boys. "Dick is gone!" he hissed.

All three boys paled, before Jason whisper shouted, "What do you mean he's gone?"

"I mean he's gone! We have to split up and find him! We can't alert anyone of who we are or someone will be more likely to grab him and we'd have to explain why a Gotham playboy has a child that doesn't belong to him in Italy! Somehow I doubt the truth will cut it!"

All three boys nodded. "Don't worry Bruce, we'll find him!" Tim swore.

"Okay boys, let's split up and look for clues!" Bruce declared. Seeing the look Jason was giving him he sighed, "I watched Scooby-Doo with Dick last night. The point still stands, let's find Dick!" With that the group split off, looking in different parts of the mall.

* * *

Dick was wandering around the mall looking for one of his brothers or his father. When he arrived at the food court, he understood why Bruce wanted to put him in the stroller. His legs were so tired and he wanted to curl up and take a nap.

Deciding that all the walking definitely deserved a reward, Dick grabbed a candy bar, using the last of Jason's money to pay for it. Sitting on a bench, he ate it slowly wondering where his family could be. As if hearing his thoughts, Jason walked into the food court and immediately grabbed a beer. Dick watched curiously as Jason started flirting with pretty Italian girls.

Dick raised an eyebrow. Jason was sitting across the room from him and didn't even notice him because he was flirting. Walking up to his brother, he said in Italian, "I'll go to Tim if you give me twenty euros." Jason didn't even look at him before handing him the money. Dick snorted as he walked away. Looks like he'd have to find a different brother. Jason was obviously too busy for him.

* * *

Dick decided that he was going to take a break. His legs felt like they were made of lead from walking so much, and every time he blinked, he had to fight himself to stay awake. He vowed that he would never again laugh at sleepy toddler videos. He normally wouldn't get this tired unless he had pulled to all nighters in a row.

Walking to a bench, he sat down and allowed his legs to rest. Sighing in relief, Dick sat for a moment stretching his legs out. When he looked up he noticed that there was an Apple store. Dick smiled, Tim was definitely going to be in the technology store!

Sure enough, as soon as he entered, he spotted Tim testing out an iPad. When an employee walked up to Dick, Dick pointed at Tim and explained that it was his brother. The employee nodded, but watched as Dick skipped up to Tim.

Dick pulled on Tim's pant leg to get his attention. Instead of looking at him, Tim said, "Kid, it's my turn, you can have it in a minute." in perfect Italian. Dick furrowed his eyebrows before pulling at Tim's pants again. "I said give me a minute. Go find someone else to bug!"

Dick frowned and tried to keep himself from crying. The employee was the only one who seemed to notice as Dick ran out of the store, carrying the bag with the teddy bear behind him. Dick ignored the employee's shout, and kept running.

* * *

Dick didn't know it was possible to be this tired. He was practically dragging his shopping bag behind him when he passed a pet store. Figuring Damian would be inside, he walked on in. Damian was sitting inside a pen with a bunch of puppies. Dick tried to go inside with his brother, but Damian said, "I believe the puppies are aggravated by your presence. Try the bunnies instead." Dick didn't even try to argue. He climbed inside the bunny pen and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Damian was about to leave the store when something made him go back inside and walk to the bunnies. Grayson was always telling him to be nice, so perhaps he should alert the child who wanted to play with the puppies earlier that it would be acceptable for him to see tham now.

What he found was admittedly cute. He quickly snapped a photo on his phone before sending it to his father and brothers, along with a text that simply stated _I found Grayson._

Damian felt a sudden pang of guilt, he had turned Grayson away when the boy had tried to reach out to him, he would have to make it up to him by being extra cuddly. Adult Grayson seemed to like cuddles more than apologies anyways.

* * *

Bruce was panicking. He had yet to find Dick and none of his sons had said they had found him either. What kind of parent was he! He should've been at least holding the boy's hand. It had been over three hours since he had last seen the boy, and Bruce vowed that he would never again let the boy out of his sight if it meant Dick was returned to him safely.

As if answering his prayers, Bruce's phone pinged. Hastily he opened his text messages and found that it was from Damian. Heart bursting with hope, he opened the message to find the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. There was Dick sleeping with a pile of bunnies. Bruce scrolled down to the next text which said that he had found the boy.

Bruce found himself practically sprinting to the pet store and to the missing boy. Running inside, he found that Jason, Tim, and even Damian were cooing over the sleeping boy. Bruce scooped the boy up and hugged him close. The boy opened his eyes sleepily and gave him a small grin. "Hi Daddy."

"Hi Baby. You must have had a really long day. Why don't we get home, give you a nice hot bath, and then you can tell us all about it." Bruce cooed. The child nodded his head before passing out on Bruce's shoulder. Seeing the bag in the pen, Bruce asked, "Is that his?"

Damian shrugged. "It was in Grayson's arms so I presume that he bought it."

Bruce sighed. "I'm definitely looking forward to hearing about his adventures."

* * *

When they arrived home, Alfred greeted the weary men. "Good heavens, I told you to go to the mall not a marathon! What happened?"

"Let's let Kiddo take the bath I promised him before we ask him exactly what happened, because I really don't know."

Alfred raised a surprised eyebrow but did not press the issue. "Perhaps you let the Young Master take a much needed nap before giving him a bath."

Bruce nodded his head. "I think I'll join him." He heard groans of agreement from each of his sons.

"Shall I wake you all up in two hours?" Alfred asked.

"That sounds amazing Alfred. Thank you." Bruce said as he carried his son up the stairs. The rest of his boys quickly followed.

* * *

Bruce woke up with a groan. Rolling to his side, he noticed that Dick was looking at him with sleepy eyes. Bruce made a silly face, and Dick burst out laughing. Picking the giggling boy up, Bruce swung him around before giving a soft kiss to Dick's forehead. "How about I give you that bath I promised you?" Dick smiled and nodded, and Bruce knew that he was going to be just as wet as his son was.

Bruce exited the bathroom an hour later covered in soapy water, while his son was content in his fluffy towel. Bruce gave the boy a new diaper, and some comfortable clothes before changing himself in a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt. Lifting his son in a now practiced move, Bruce went down the stairs and to the dining room where Alfred had set up cookies and milk, and the three boys and the butler were waiting for them.

Settling Dick in his lap, Bruce asked Dick gently, "Can you tell us what happened?"

Dick sat in silence momentarily before saying, "I was walking wit Daddy when a mean man pushed me into a window. It was a toy store so I went inside and used the money Jayjay gave me."

Alfred interrupted the rambling boy. "Master Dick, where did you get the money?"

Dick looked at Jason who was shaking his head frantically. "Jason said I yell a lot befow asking fow Daddy to change my diaper. He said Tim would wake up and it be funny. The money was blue and shiney."

Bruce turned to Jason. "Really Jason? You bribed your three year old brother with twenty euros?"

"How was I supposed to know that we were going to Italy the next day?" Jason defended weakly.

"We'll discuss this later. Let's try and keep our comments to ourselves until the end of Dick's story okay."

Dick internally smirked. Bruce's face was going to change colors when he heard what happened. "I gotta bear. Then I twy and find you. I went to the were all the food was and found Jayjay. But Jayjay was talking to pwetty girls. He gave me more blue money to go find Tim." Bruce's face was turning a nice shade a pink at this point, but he kept his comments to himself. "I find Tim in Apple store and pulled on his pants. He said to go away, it was his tuwn. Then he got real angwy when I stayed, so I left." Bruce's face was steadily turned a deep shade of red. Dick continued on with his story. "Then I go see Dami with puppies. Dami said puppies don't like me and to go to bunnies." Turning to face Bruce, he upped his patheticness. "Why puppies no like me? I like puppies!" Then he burst into tears.

Bruce turned to his sons angrily. "Let me get this straight. He found each of you, and you ignored him? He's a baby and he walked all over the mall to find us! And for God's sake, you weren't even looking for him!" You guys better come up with some amazing apologies for him. I mean it, each of you will spend a day with him to apologize. Got it?" Upon receiving the Batglare, all three boys nodded and quickly exited the room.

When they left, Bruce turned to the still crying boy in his arms. "Why don't we watch a movie Kiddo?" Dick nodded, still sniffling. Bruce picked the boy up and as they walked out of the room, missed the fact that his butler was smiling at the thumbs up Dick was giving him.

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 **A/N: I had so much fun writing this story. Thanks _jodyowl11_ for the amazing idea! I really liked writing this chapter and can't wait to write the individual apologies. Any ideas that you think would be funny or want to see, let me know! And if you have an idea for a different prompt, let me know too. Please, please, please with fluffy batbro moments on top review!**


	9. To Be Three Again (part 5)

**To Be Three Again Part 5**

 **A/N: I'm alive!**

 **Nurse: You can't use your laptop in here.**

 **Author: You don't understand! I'm writing a Damian and Dick bonding moment!**

 **Nurse: Why didn't you say so? *Proceeds to take away laptop***

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Jason narrowed his eyes at his brothers. They were all gathered in Damian's room, much to the boy's displeasure, trying to figure out who was going to apologize to Dick first. Jason personally thought it was unfair. Bruce had lost the kid too, and Jason didn't see the man making any efforts to apologize. Granted the man also changed Dick's dirty diapers.

Jason crossed his arms. "So who's gonna apologize to the kid first? I mean we have to spend a whole day with him, and Bruce is expecting good apologies." Looking over at his brothers, Jason narrowed his eyes. "Speaking of which, does anyone have a good idea that they're willing to share?" Nobody answered, and Jason let out a huff.

Tim looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "Should we draw straws or something? Or draw numbers from a hat? Something where nobody can say that the others cheated."

Jason narrowed his eyes before grabbing a notebook page and writing, _1,2,_ and _3_ on it. Before ripping it in three pieces. Folding them up carefully he shuffled them around until not even he could tell which number was where. Silently, each of them picked up a piece of paper. Jason sighed in relief. He was second, so at least he had another day to figure out an apology. Judging by Damian's look of rage, the kid had picked the page that said he was going to go first.

Seeing that neither of his brothers were going to say anything, Jayson got up and walked to his room. Now he just had to figure out how to make Dick feel special without damaging his pride to much. Maybe the beach? Kids like sand, and he liked all the pretty girls dressed in bikinis. Actually, that was not such a bad idea.

* * *

Damian woke up around ten, which was earlier than usual for him. Damian had spent the whole night thinking of things that he could do with Grayson that both he and the boy would enjoy. Unfortunately, he was unable to think of something that would be fitting for the true heir of Bruce Wayne.

Damian grudgingly walked downstairs to where Grayson was babbling happily to his father. Damian did not think that the boy was a traumatized as his father claimed him to be. He had faced far worse at the age of three at the hand of his Grandfather.

Walking silently into the kitchen, Damian approached Pennyworth. "I need bird seed and a picnic Pennyworth."

Pennyworth raised an eyebrow and Damian ground his teeth before saying, "Please."

Pennyworth smiled. "Of course Master Damian. May I ask what you plan to do with Master Dick?"

Damian considered his options. If he told Pennyworth, Drake and Todd would undoubtedly find out. If he did not tell Pennyworth, Father would give him another lecture about manners and respecting people. Damian sighed. There was no way to win. "I am taking Grayson outside to enjoy nature. We will cuddle as we feed birds and eat our picnic."

Pennyworth gave him a kind smile. "That sounds simply delightful Master Damian. I shall have your supplies ready within an hour. Please eat some breakfast as you wait."

Damian gave him a brief nod before joining his Father and Grayson in the dining room. Both Grayson and Father looked ridiculous playing with cars and making noises. Grayson spotted him and waved at him to join him. Damian almost refused until he saw the look that Father was giving him.

Damian chose a black car and raced it around without nearly as much enthusiasm as Grayson and Father. Father seemed satisfied that he was participating, and Damian allowed himself to eat his oatmeal. After he finished, Father turned to him. "Damian. What are you planning to do today?"

Damian was hardly surprised that his father knew that it was his day. His father seemed to always know everything. "I shall cuddle with Grayson as we feed and watch birds. We shall have a picnic outside and enjoy eachother's company."

Bruce nodded. "Sounds good Damian. When will you be leaving?"

Alfred walked into the kitchen with a basket and a bag of birdseed in his hands. "Right now. Master Damian, I have prepared your lunches as your requested. If you require more refreshments or anything else, please let me know." With that the butler left the room and headed to the kitchen.

Grayson gave Damian a giant smile. Father softened his expression. "Have fun Damian. And if you need something, or Dick needs a diaper changed, come inside. Oh, and please put some actual clothes on Dick, he still has his pajamas on." Father gave him a small smile and left the room, gesturing for Damian to follow.

Damian stood up and frowned. Grayson was looking at him with wide eyes and his arms raised. Sighing he picked the boy up and held him as far away from his body as possible. Carrying Grayson, he followed his father to his room. Grayson smiled and drooled on him, which Damian found to be completely unbecoming.

* * *

When Bruce saw Damian carrying Dick, he couldn't help but laugh. Dick looked happy to be in Damian's care, even though the ten year old looked at Dick as if he were the most disgusting thing that ever existed.

Taking Dick from Damian's arms, Bruce quickly changed his diaper and selected some clothes for the toddler to wear. It was a mild day, but Bruce made sure that the boy was wearing a hat, just in case the wind picked up. Realizing his own thoughts, Bruce froze. He was officially no longer the 'cool dad' but rather an overprotective parent. Dick was going to have a heyday when he found out. Bruce could only hope that his son would not tell Clark. The man would tell the whole Justice League.

Bruce carried Dick back down to the kitchen where Damian collected his picnic basket and his bag of bird seed. Bruce continued to follow the boy outside. He knew that Dick could simply walk, but for some reason his heart ached at the idea of spending the whole day away from his precious son.

Settling his son next to Damian, Bruce furrowed his brow. "Remember. We're inside if you need anything. And you don't need to spend the whole day out here. You can come inside and we'll do something together." When he noticed Damian's stare, he continued. "A whole day is a little harsh, and he's a toddler, so he's going to need a diaper change, and get's bored easily!"

Damian waved him off. "We'll be fine Father. Go inside so that we may observe the birds." Bruce frowned before leaving the front yard and walking into the manor.

Alfred approached him as he stared out the window at his sons. "They grow up so fast Master Bruce. Enjoy it while you can." Bruce nodded and continued to stare out the window at his sons.

* * *

Dick smiled as he thought of Bruce's overprotectiveness. The man clearly regretted making each of his sons apologize for the whole day. Dick could not help but be happy though. His brothers were getting older and no longer found it 'cool' to hang out with their older brother. He was interested to see what Tim and Jason would do as both of them could drive and therefore would not need to stay at the manor.

But for now, Dick happily snuggled into Damian's side as the boy showed him how to throw the bird seed at the birds. Dick pointed to a bird and asked, "Wat dat?"

Damian sighed, "A bird Grayson."

Dick huffed. Damian was clueless. "Why dat bird different?"

Damian looked around before pointing at two different birds. "That is a American Redstart, that's a Crow, and that's a Robin. They are all birds, but they are from different families."

Dick grinned. "They all like da food."

Damian shrugged. "I like to watch the birds Grayson, they know that I bring them food, so they hang around. Now shall we enjoy them together? I shall even allow you to cuddle with me."

Dick nodded, grinning. He cuddled closer to his brother, knowing that he may never get invited to do so again.

After eating their lunches, Dick started to nod off. The sun was warm on his skin and his belly was full from all the food that he ate. Cuddling closer to Damian, he allowed his eyes to drift shut and fall asleep.

* * *

Damian shifted slightly. "Grayson, can you move. Your heavy." When Grayson did not move, "Damian looked down and poked the boy. "Grayson?" The boy shifted, and Damian saw that he was asleep. Damian felt his lip twitch into a smile. Father was correct, the boy was worn out already. Taking his phone out, Damian noted that it was already three o'clock.

Gently pushing the boy off his lap, Damian gathered the supplies before glancing at the boy. He decided that he would leave the basket and retrieve them after he carried the boy inside. The only problem would be picking him up.

Carefully he rolled Grayson onto his back and sat him up. The boy did not stir as Damian carefully picked him up and carried him inside. Once inside, his Father immediately took Grayson and carried him upstairs citing that it was their naptime.

Damian felt a small twinge of jealousy. He wanted to snuggle with Dick as they took a nap together. However, if anyone were to accuse him of being jealous of his father, he would maim them. After all, Grayson insisted that killing was against the Bat Clan's moral code, but he never said anything about maiming.

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 **A?N: Jeez. Now that I feel more alive than not, I can work on my stories again. Thanks for all the kind reviews and for all the suggestions. Thanks to _14fox_ and _Princess0Bunny_ for the idea. **

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 **Please please please review and big thanks to those who already have!**


	10. To Be Three Again (part 6)

**To Be Three Again Part 6**

Jason slowly made his way to the kitchen. He had tried all night to think of an activity to do with Dick with no luck. He knew that Bruce was going to drill him for answers as soon as he walked down the stairs, so Jason hoped that he could improvise, or that Alfred would take pity on him.

Yesterday had been surprisingly fun. After Bruce and Dick had woken up from their naps, the family had sat around playing games. Bruce had played with Dick and the two mercilessly took down the rest of the family in Monopoly. Jason briefly wondered if Dick was aware of his job at Wayne Corp, because the kid bartered deals for properties that he wanted with greater grace than any other three year old. Any suspicions were erased when Dick started crying, and Bruce went to change his diaper.

As Jason walked into the kitchen, he sent a pleading look to Alfred. The trusted butler raised an eyebrow before lifting his serving tray and displaying a DVD. Jason furrowed his eyebrows. Alfred wanted him to watch movies? Jason smiled. The butler came through again. He needed to remember to buy the man a cake for his birthday before Bruce and Dick could try and bake one.

Sauntering up to Bruce, Jason grabbed a coffee and a slice of toast. Bruce gave him a once over before hugging Dick closer in his lap. Jason snorted. Of course the Old Man would be overprotective of his Golden Boy.

Relaxing in his chair, Jason kicked his feet onto the table and crossed his ankles. Hearing Alfred's throat clearing, Jason placed his feet back in the ground. Jason knew Bruce was waiting for him to explain his apology plans but he wasn't going to say anything until the man explicitly asked him.

Bruce waited another five minutes before, grinding his teeth, he asked, "Where are you taking Dickibird today?"

Jason smirked slightly at the idea of winning a battle of will with Batman. "I'm going to take Dickhead to the movies." Turning to Dick, Jason softened his voice slightly. "Wanna see the Lego Batman Movie?"

Dick's eyes widened before a grin split across his face. "Yeah! Batman!" Dropping his voice he said, "I am the night!"

Jason burst into laughter. "Yeah you are Dickhead, just like Bruce here is the day."

Bruce snarled slightly at the slight before picking up Dick. "Get ready, I'll get Dick changed and prepare a diaper bag."

Jason's smile immediately dropped off his face. There was no way he was carrying around a diaper bag. He would have to convince Dick to not tell Bruce that he left the bag in the car. The kid seemed to have a knack for getting him in trouble.

Quickly he placed Dick's car seat into one of Bruce's Ferraris. If he was going to be seen carrying a child, he was at least going to ride in style. Seeing Bruce walking into the garage, Jason quickly grabbed Dick and the dreaded diaper bag and placed them into the car. Jason swore as he tried to buckle the child in. He wanted to leave before Bruce had a chance to lecture him again.

Bruce watched with wide eyes as tires squealed and the car raced out of the garage. Looking down he noticed the tire marks on the ground. His eyebrows twitched as he thought of what Alfred's reaction was going to be. Jason was definitely going to spend the afternoon cleaning the garage, and Bruce was not jealous at all of that.

* * *

Jason carefully parked the car in the garage below the theater. Bruce hated it when they parked in the garage without being in a group because it would be easy for some low life to grab one of Bruce Wayne's sons. Jason doubted that Bruce would count Dick as being a part of a group at this moment.

Turning to face Dick, Jason gave him a big smile. "Okay a few rules. First, we do not tell Bruce that we parked in the garage. Second, we do not tell Bruce that we left the lame ass diaper bag in the car. Third, and most important, you help your bro Jason pick up cute girls. If you promise to follow all the rules, I'll buy whatever candy you want."

Dick's eyes went wide. "Candy?"

Jason nodded. "All the candy that you can dream of eating."

Dick gave him a sly smile, and Jason was reminded of his older brother. Dick was the man who took them out for ice cream during patrol as long as they promised not to tell Bruce, of course, the very next day Dick dragged Batman into the ice cream shop. "Pinky promise. Jayjay? How you get girls?"

Jason smirked and got out of the car. Moving to the backseat, Jason unbuckled the kid and said, "If the girl's talk to you, just talk about me and how much you love your Uncle Jason. And if anyone asks, your Roy Harper's kid."

Dick nodded. "Woy Harper. Uncle Jayjay."

"We're going to go far kid." Jason was practically whistling as he brought Dick to the elevator that would bring them inside the theatre. He couldn't possibly know that Dick was planning on repealing girls, and Dick thought it was best for Jason to have hope.

* * *

Dick watched as Jason shamelessly flirted with a group of girls. They had immediately recognized him as Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne's adopted son and bad boy extraordinaire. Dick had to keep himself from laughing out loud when one of the girls asked if his older brother was around.

When the girls cooed over how adorable he was, Dick told them all about how great "Uncle Jayjay" was and how much he loved his father Roy Harper. Dick knew that unlike the Wayne boys, Roy did not have much media attention and that nobody would realize that Roy didn't actually have a son.

After around thirty minutes, Dick was bored. The movie wasn't scheduled to start for another forty-five minutes, so they were still standing by the concession stands. Slipping a hand into Jason's pocket, Dick expertly pick-pocketed him. Jason was better than him after years of living on the streets and stealing to survive, but between circus performers and Jason, Dick managed to do okay. Dick also knew that Jason was too busy paying attention to the girls to notice him taking his wallet.

Walking up to the concession stand, Dick grabbed as much candy as his hands could carry. Dropping it on the counter, he watched in amusement as the employee looked around as if looking for the customer, before finally looking down and doing a double take. Dick slowly counted the money out and handed it to the employee who put it in the register before jumping the counter and kneeling in front of him.

"Hey kid. Can you point me to where your parents are?"

Dick cocked his head to the side and widened his eyes. "My Uncle Jayjay is over there." Dick pointed to where Jason stood in the middle of his flock of girls.

Recognizing who his 'Uncle Jayjay' was, the employee swallowed nervously before standing and straightening his shoulders as if preparing for war. He held his hand out to Dick who eagerly took it and followed the man to his brother. Dick wanted to laugh as the employee shoved his way to Jason. Jason gave the man an unimpressed look and he swallowed again. "Mr. Todd, ah, Sir, I believe this is yours?" With that the employee shoved all of Dick's candy into Jason's chest and transferred Dick's hand into Jason's before practically running back to the concession stand.

Jason looked down in surprise at Dick who gave Jason his best 'I'm innocent' look in return. The flock of girls started yelling at Jason about being irresponsible and losing the precious child before yelling that it was guaranteed that his better looking older brother would never lose a child. Dick couldn't help but feel bad for Jason, it seemed the man never caught a break, he wasn't even trying to be bratty yet.

Turning to Jason, he asked, "Can we watch the movie now?"

The muscle in Jason's jaw twitched, but Jason just sighed and held his hand out for the boy in response.

* * *

Jason grinned as he scrubbed the floor of the manor's garage. Dick had yet to tell Bruce about the theatre mishaps, which Jason was thankful for.

The movie was surprisingly good considering the lack of Red Hood and the fact that it was not rated R. He had enjoyed watching the glee on Dick's face as he practically vibrated in excitement. Granted, it could be that he was vibrating because Jason had allowed him to eat so much candy. Jason almost wanted to take the kid out for another movie to see if the same look would cross his face.

The only bad part of the experience was one of the girl's he was talking to called the paparazzi, so leaving the theatre included using an employee exit and a tacky hat.

Jason paused as he heard his phone start to ring. "'Sup?"

"Why is Ollie calling me and asking me about a son that I never told him about? I don't have a son, and if I did, I certainly wouldn't name him Oliver after his grandfather!" Roy yelled at Jason through the phone. "He was angry that he had to find out through Gotham News and not from me!"

Shit. He probably should have said it was Wally's kid. Or Donna's. Nobody knew who they were. "Heh. About that...it's a boy?"

Roy let out an angry exhale. "Explain. Now."

"Well, there was a new lame ass villain in Gotham called the Babyfier, and he had a weapon called the Baby Maker."

"Seriously, did the guy hear himself?" Roy interrupted.

"That's what I said! Well long story short, he turned Dickhead into a baby, and we couldn't say 'Hey this is actually Dick, he got hit by the Baby Maker' so we decided that if anyone asked we'd say it was a friend's kid. Then we lost him at the mall and Bruce is making us individually apologize so I took him to the movies and when asked, well you're my best friend, so your name popped up first." Jason knew that he had probably lost Roy so he added, "Besides, you're has been since you moved out. Unlike us."

Roy exhaled loudly again. "Just have Bruce call Ollie and explain this mess to him. I don't need to hear him ask about being called Pop-Pop again."

Jason stared at his phone when he heard the dial sound. Rude. Maybe he should get a new best friend. Someone who wouldn't call and yell at him after he made their lives even more complicated.

Suddenly Jason heard Bruce start to yell from the Den where he, Dick, Damian, and Tim were watching TV. "Jason? Why are you and Dick on the News? And why is Ollie calling me and asking what his grandson's name is?" Jason winced. Even if Dick failed to mention the candy, the garage, the missing diaper bag, and the girls, he was still royally screwed.

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 **A/N: Poor Roy, that's all I can really say.**

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 **So I think there's going to be two or three more parts to this prompt, so if you have any last minute suggestions, or you have a prompt that you want to see me do, let me know. As always, I'm extremely open to suggestion.**

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 **Thanks _Princess0Bunny_**

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 **Please Please Please Review, even if you don't have much to say!**

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	11. To Be Three Again (part 7)

**To Be Three Again Part 7**

Tim slunk down the stairs. Jason was in trouble because of his activity the day before. The news coverage showed video of Dick eating lots of candy, Jason without a diaper bag, Jason parking in the garage and Jason not noticing that he lost Dick momentarily. Tim definitely did not want to follow his lead. As much as he loathed to admit it, Damian had done a good job.

Tim grabbed the pot of coffee and went into the dining room. Much like the day before, Bruce was holding Dick possessively in his lap. Tim hoped that Alfred was taking plenty of pictures because those two were adorable. Sitting down, Tim held a hand out for Bruce, indicating that he needed a moment. "Let me finish my first cup of coffee. I'll tell you about my plans when I'm on my second and can actually think."

Bruce nodded his assent, and started to play with Dick again. Today, they were playing with dinosaurs, both making soft growling sounds as they moved the figures around the table. Taking the last sip of his coffee, Tim poured another cup. "I'm going to take Dick to the Gotham Arcade. They have a kid section that I think he might enjoy." Seeing Bruce's indecision, Tim continued. "I was going to put on a hat and sunglasses, and dress in a different style of clothing than I normally wear. I'd also only use cash, and take a less flashy car."

Bruce pursed his lips. "I want regular check ins and for you both to be back before three."

Tim nodded. "Deal. Will you get Dick ready for me? And put some Lucky Charms in the diaper bag, I don't know what food will be available and while grownup Dick might eat anything, toddler Dick might be more picky."

Dick frowned slightly. Knowing Bruce, the man would think that there might be more to Dick being a toddler than he originally thought. Squirming around Dick twisted and strategically placed his knee in the older man's lap. Bruce made a pained face and adjusted Dick so that he was sitting on Bruce's knees. "Let's get you ready Buddy."

Bruce picked up Dick and carried him up the stairs the whole time cooing, "Are you going to have a fun day with Timmy? Yes you are! Yes you are!"

Tim watched in fascination as the Batman who inspired fear into the hearts of Gotham villains talked in baby talk to the child in his arms. "He's bringing out the softer side of Master Bruce is he not?" Alfred asked as he snuck up behind Tim.

Turning to the butler, Tim smiled. "If you knew who he was before the start of the week and who he was now, you'd never believe it."

"Perhaps, Master Timothy. However, if you knew who he was before the fateful night of his parents murder, you may disagree." Alfred replied as he filled coffee into Tim's travel mug. "On a different note, maybe its best if you prepare for your trip to the arcade."

Tim grinned and rushed to his room to get dressed. He quickly grabbed a baseball hat and a pair of Ray Bans before rushing down to meet Bruce in the garage. He quickly grabbed the keys to the Toyota which while not the most expensive car in the garage, had top safety ratings.

Tim smiled as Bruce fussed over Dick as he buckled the child in. Turning to Tim, Bruce handed him the diaper bag. The bag hit the ground as Tim's arm was dragged down by the weight of the bag. "What the hell did you put in this thing? Bricks?"

"I put everything that you could possibly need in any situation I thought of." Bruce answered in a very serious tone.

Tim blinked. He briefly debated whether or not he should refute that statement but ultimately decided not to mention what an overprotective helicopter mom Bruce had become. "Okay. Well, we should get going now. See you at three." Tim hastily, but safely, drove off before Bruce could add more to the diaper bag.

* * *

Arriving at the arcade, Tim circled the block before finding a parking spot that wasn't in the garage. Parking, Tim twisted around in his seat. "Look Dick, I'm going to take your diaper bag because I think it will be useful. However, there is no way I can take the kitchen sink Bruce packed in there. Do you mind if I unpack the bag, and only bring the stuff that I think we need? Keep in mind that this would need to be our little secret."

Dick blinked at him, before cocking his head to the side and saying,"Wha?"

Tim rubbed his hand down his face. Dick was only three years old, of course he wouldn't understand his speech. "Can you keep a secret?" Seeing Dick's excited nod, Tim continued. "I'm going to make your diaper bag smaller so that we can go and play faster. But we can't tell Daddy, okay?"

Dick smiled wide. "Pinky promise!"

* * *

Tim grinned as he played air hockey with his brother. It was the kid version, so he was sitting on his knees, but it was so much fun watching Dick's determined face. They had played four rounds already, and Tim had won by a hair each time, and only because his arms were longer. Dick was determined to win this round, and despite Tim playing his hardest, he was leading by two points.

Tim gave his brother a huge grin when the air turned off and it announced Dick the winner. Dick happily danced around and Tim couldn't help but lift the boy above his head and twirling him around. Dick squealed with laughter before telling Tim that he wanted to play the dancing game. Tim took Dick over to the dancing game before saying, "Buddy, you're too small to play this game. Why don't you chose another one?"

Dick pouted momentarily before leading Tim to the game that simulated a jump rope. Turning to Dick, he said, "Okay. To play this game, you need to jump every time the light passes the bottom, like a jump rope. Do you want me to demonstrate?" Tim knew that the adult Dick set records on this game and could play for hours.

Dick nodded. "Show me!" He demanded softly.

Tim put the money in the machine and watched as it counted down. As always, it started off slow before becoming impossibly fast. After thirty jumps, the game ended and he turned to Dick. "Okay Buddy. Your turn."

Dick watched as Tim placed the money in the machine. He knew that Tim was slightly suspicious of him, but he couldn't make them care. Watching as the machine counted down, Dick felt his limbs loosen slightly, and for the first time since he was turned into a toddler he felt like himself. His toddler body may get tired more easily, but he was still an acrobat through and through.

Dick started the game and allowed his body to take over as he jumped in time with the light. As it got faster, Dick allowed his body to jump higher so that he was 'double skipping' and even triple skipping. Hearing a gasp over his shoulder, he saw that a crowd had gathered and Tim was trying to prevent people from taking videos. Dick felt like he was betraying his body as he allowed himself to fail, with a total of only one hundred and twenty-three jumps. By his standards, that was nothing, but he really didn't need anyone to recognize him and Tim.

Seeing that Dick was finished, Tim swooped him up and brought him over to a table where he quickly took out his phone and started typing rapidly. When he finished, he sank down in his seat and sighed. Seeing Dick's curious look he said, "I hacked everyone's phone in the arcade. They all had a malfunction that deleted any photos or videos taken today. I also created a virus so that any videos posted would fritz when someone tried to play them."

Dick nodded with a serious face before he burst out in giggles. Clapping his hands he cried, "I'm hungry!" Tim sighed but grabbed the massive diaper bag and pulled out the box of cereal. Bruce had packed multiple boxes of cereal, so Tim grabbed a box of Frosted Flakes for himself.

Checking his watch, Tim noted that they still had two hours before they were expected back at the manor. Looking at Dick who had a huge smile on his face as he stuffed Lucky Charms into his mouth, Tim couldn't help but smile and be glad that Bruce punished him.

* * *

Tim was trying to drag Dick out of the arcade. Dick was yelling that he still wanted to play and was kicking at Tim. Seeing all the disapproving stares, Tim tried to hush the screaming child, to no avail. "Dick come on Buddy! We're going to be late, Daddy's waiting for us remember?" Tim watched as Dick quieted slightly, "It's going to take thirty minutes to get home, and it's already 2:35, so we need to hurry." Seeing that Dick still didn't look completely convinced, Tim tried one last time. "I'm sure Alfred has cookies waiting for us."

That was all it took. Dick happily skipped out of the arcade, tugging Tim out behind him. Tim sent a silent _Thank you_ to all the nannies he had growing up for their patience. After buckling the boy in, Tim hastily restuffed the diaper bag, before jumping behind the wheel.

After driving in silence for five minutes. Tim adjusted the rear view mirror to look at the boy behind him. Dick was fast asleep in his car seat, with his head hitting the window softly every time Tim turned. Tim smiled to himself before refocusing on the road.

When they arrived at the manor, it was 3:05 p.m. and Bruce was pacing the garage. When Tim pulled up, Bruce was immediately at his door demanding, "Where were you? You were supposed to be back before three!"

Tim instantly raised his finger to his lips and hushed Bruce. "He's finally asleep. Let's make sure he stays that way."

Bruce pursed his lips but unbuckled and picked up Dick without waking the child. As he walked up the stairs, Tim spoke making him pause. "When he wakes up, he's probably going to ask for cookies." Seeing Bruce's raised eyebrows, he added, "It was the only way to get him to leave. He was throwing a temper tantrum and bribed him with the prospect of seeing you again and eating Alfred's cookies."

Bruce turned around and continued up the stairs. He'd never admit it, but he was smiling at the idea of Dick wanting to see him again. Dick was his son, his baby. And knowing that Dick loved him as much as he loved Dick made his chest feel warm.

Gliding past the kitchen he called out to Alfred. "It's nap time. Please make sure there are cookies ready for when we wake up."

Alfred smiled as he watched his charge take the stairs two at a time without disturbing the sleeping child. Bruce had grown softer and smiled more due to Dick's toddler state. He was glad that Dick had chosen not to reveal that he was a toddler stuck in a child's body, but instead went with it.

Chuckling to himself, Alfred started to make his infamous chocolate chip cookie dough. Seeing Tim slink into the kitchen from the corner of his eye, Alfred calmly stated, "Master Tim, why don't you sit down and tell me all about your adventure." Alfred smiled inwardly at Tim's shocked expression. By now, he had hoped that the boys would have realized that he knew everything that happened within the house.

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 **A/N: Well there's Tim's apology. I'm sorry if I didn't describe the arcade games very well, I had the game in my head, but I don't know if I conveyed it very well.**

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 **One or two chapters left, I'm not really sure. Anyways, let me know if you have any ideas for prompts that you wants to see. I have a list, but I kinda write whatever I'm in the mood for.**

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	12. To Be Three Again (part 8)

**To Be Three Again Part 8**

Dick woke up the next morning and followed his new morning routine of crying until Bruce grabbed him, changed him, and then brought him back to bed with him. Dick liked that Bruce pulled him into bed with him. He really liked that he was small enough to sleep on top of Bruce without the man complaining. Dick knew that he was considered overly cuddly in his sleep, but Bruce didn't seem to mind while Dick was in toddler form.

Dick watched Bruce sleep and sighed sadly. He knew that this was his last day as a toddler. He could feel the twinge of pain in his legs that he had associated with growing as a child.

When he saw Bruce start to stir, Dick slapped his hand lightly on the man's nose, which made Bruce pinch Dick's nose. Dick squealed as Bruce laughed. "I got your nose Chum. What are you going to do about it?"

Dick grinned and tackled Bruce. Or at least he tried to tackle him. In his current size, it turned into a flying hug. Bruce squeezed the laughing child to his chest and lay down again. Dick smiled down at him before placing a wet kiss on his nose. Bruce couldn't help but smile happily. He was glad that the villain had turned Dick into a toddler. That he could form these precious memories of his son. He was even happier that there were cameras stationed everywhere that were capturing these moments.

Glancing over at the clock, Bruce noticed that it was already ten o'clock. "Hey Buddy. When do you want to go eat breakfast?"

Dick shrugged. "Can we do something as a family? I donno what."

"Do you want to go to the zoo and see all the animals?"

"I wanna stay home!" Dick protested. His limbs were starting to ache slightly more, and Dick could only see it getting worse as the day went on.

"Okay….how about we go swimming?" Bruce suggested. He was sort of puzzled by Dick not wanting to go to the zoo, but he was not going to deny his son if he was adamant not to go.

"Yeah!" Dick cheered. Bruce smiled at the enthusiasm Dick displayed and swooped him up in his arms.

Tossing Dick lightly in the air he grinned. "Let's go eat some breakfast and tell the boys our plan for the day."

"Yeah!" Dick cheered again, doing what Bruce interpreted as a happy dance in his arms.

* * *

Sitting on Bruce's lap, Dick shoved Lucky Charms in his mouth. He watched as his other brothers sat down sleepily and seemed to come alive as they drank their coffee. Dick always found the Bat Clan's coffee dependence amusing. Now, not so much. His body was craving the substance, but nobody in their right mind would give coffee to a three year old. Maybe he could get Alfred alone and the trusted butler would take pity on him and sneak him a cup.

Shaking his head slightly Dick shoved more cereal in his mouth. Dick relaxed deeper into Bruce's chest as the man spoke. "Why don't we all hang out by the pool today?" Bruce said it in a way that made it clear that saying 'no' was not an option.

Tim raised his head from where it was resting on his hand. "You know that Dick needs a special diaper to go in water, right? Regular diapers will expand in the water and become huge."

"There are different kinds of diapers?" Bruce questioned.

"Do not fret, Master Bruce. I took the liberty of buying swim diapers when I went shopping two days ago." Alfred said as he refilled everyone's coffee mugs.

"I will never understand how he knows what we need before we do." Tim sighed. "Are you sure Alfred isn't a meta Bruce?"

"Positive. I admit I've tested him multiple times though." Bruce said with a shrug.

"I aim to please, Sirs." Alfred declared drolly.

* * *

One hour later, Bruce was lounging on a chair watching as his boys splashed around. Dick was resting comfortably on his chest. Alfred had said that all the boys should wait to swim at least half an hour after eating, but that he should wait longer with Dick because he was younger.

Now he stared down at his son who was decked in only his swim diaper and returned his stare. Smiling, Bruce asked, "Wanna go in the pool?"

Dick's returning grin was answer enough, and Bruce stood up with the boy in his arms and grabbed the inflatable ring for toddlers that Alfred had bought. Walking down the steps, Bruce placed the ring in the water before placing Dick inside.

Wading into the pool, Bruce was surprised when Dick splashed him in the face. This earned rambunctious laughter from his other sons. Glaring slightly, Bruce turned around and splashed Jason in the face. Jason glared before declaring, "It's on Old Man!"

Bruce grinned as all his sons joined in on an all out war. Bruce tried to shield Dick slightly as the boy couldn't defend himself. Unfortunately, this meant that he received the brunt of all four boy's attacks.

* * *

Later they all drifted on inflatables lounging lazily in the sun. Dick was fast asleep on Bruce's chest as they rested comfortably on lounger. It was Jason who broke the silence. "Even though the kid didn't help me get a girl, I'm going to miss the little brat."

"Fool. Grayson's not some dog that died." Damian declared.

"I don't know. I just feel like Dick's time as a toddler is coming to an end. I thought I'd be happy, but I'm not." Jason retorted.

"I feel it too." Tim said. "Dick is such a great kid. Don't get me wrong, I love my older brother, but somehow he's just as amazing as a kid."

Bruce looked down at the sleeping boy and wrapped his arm across his back. Dick grabbed his hand and brought it up to rest next to his mouth. Sighing sadly, Bruce said, "That may be true but we got to have this time together, so take advantage of it."

They sat in comfortable silence all staring at the boy who was sleeping and unaware of their sadness.

* * *

At dinner, Dick did his best to ignore his family, but their stares and their displeasure grew to much for him. Big tears leaked from his eyes and he started to wail. Bruce started to bounce him lightly and make soothing noises. The boys stared him bewildered as Bruce tried to soothe him to no avail.

Bruce finally turned to Alfred in the corner and asked, "What's wrong with him! His diaper is clean and everything!"

Alfred raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Perhaps the young master felt the displeasure that the four of you are displaying and could not vocalize his feelings." Bruce stared at him blankly, and Alfred sighed. "Children feel the emotions around them, but they cannot process them. Master Dick felt your sadness and simply burst into tears."

Bruce looked down at Dick in surprise. "Hey Chum. It's okay! Why don't we all go to the Den and watch Peter Pan together? Would that make you feel better?"

Dick nodded his head tearfully. With that Bruce carried Dick to the Den with the other three boys following closely behind him.

Alfred smiled softly. Yes, it was definitely a good decision to allow Dick to pretend to be a toddler.

* * *

Dick padded softly into the kitchen. The growing pains were intense now. Soon, he would be an adult again. Leaping onto a barstool he said, "Think I can have a cup of coffee?

Alfred appeared from behind Dick. "It was always near impossible to sneak up on you Master Dick. While I want to grant to your wishes, I do not know the effects of coffee on your young body. How about a glass of milk and a cookie instead?"

"Deal Alfred." Dick said slumping slightly. "It's my last night as a toddler, Alfred. I can talk normally again and my limbs ache with growing pain."

"How do you feel about that Master Dick?" Alfred questioned while placing a glass of milk and a cookie in front of him. Dick was reminded of sitting in a bar and sharing his troubles with a bartender.

"I'm sort of sad. I really like how happy and relaxed everyone is right now because of me. But I'm also glad. I want to be able to do things again. I want to take Bruce bungee jumping." Seeing Alfred's surprised look, Dick continued. "I bought tickets for the two of us, Bruce said he's never gone so I thought it would be fun for the two of us to do together."

Alfred smiled. "Master Dick. It is not the fact that you are a toddler that makes everyone happy, but rather you. You are so full of life and happiness Master Dick, the other's will be happy you're around no matter how old you appear to be. You have made precious memories with each of them, and Master Bruce made certain that there are plenty of photos documenting the week." Dick blinked with tears in his eyes. "And Master Dick? I am certain that Master Bruce will adore your present."

As if summoned, Bruce stumbled into the room rubbing his eyes. "Alfred? Have you seen Dick? He wasn't in his room when I went to check on him."

"Daddy." Dick said softly. He was glad that Bruce hadn't heard the conversation that had just occurred.

"Hey Chum. What are you doing up?" Bruce asked while he picked Dick up. Noticing the tears in the boy's eyes he asked, "What's wrong Kiddo?"

Alfred saved him from having to answer. "Master Dick had a nightmare. I was checking on him and decided that he deserved milk and a cookie."

"Oh Kiddo. Why don't you come to bed with me? I'll keep the scary dreams away."

Dick nodded his head, sniffling. Bruce started to walk out of the kitchen only pausing briefly to wish Alfred good night.

Laying Dick down next to him, Bruce watched his son drift off slowly. Bruce wrapped one arm around the boy protectively, before he too drifted off into sleep.

* * *

Bruce woke up when he was shoved hard off the bed. Jumping up, he looked around bewildered, only to see an adult Dick clutching the sheets over his lap and blushing furiously.

"Dad. I love you, and you obviously changed my diaper and therefore have seen me naked, but you don't need to see me naked as an adult." Dick said still blushing.

Looking around, Bruce found a torn Batman footie pajama and a diaper. "Do you remember the last week Dick?"

Dick stopped blushing and smiled brilliantly. "I do Dad. I had a lot of fun, and I want some of the photos that you took."

Bruce shifted around nervously. "Dick I don't want to replace your real father."

Dick's food smile softened and Bruce could see the love radiating off of the man. "Bruce, you know that you've been my dad for fifteen years now. That's pretty much double what my parents were around for. You made me into the man I am today, and I am so proud to call you my dad. I want the photos, and I promise you that I have never felt that you were disrespecting my parents and if I felt you were, I'd tell you. I promise."

Bruce felt tears prick in the corners of his eyes. He reached to hug him, but Dick placed his hand on Bruce's chest stopping him. "Can we hug it out when I have clothes on?"

Bruce burst out laughing and gestured to his closet. "Want to borrow something? I don't think you want to deal with your brothers with no clothes on."

Dick nodded and Bruce dutifully turned to face the door as his son grabbed a pair of sweats and a shirt that was too big on his narrow frame. As soon as he was dressed, Bruce grabbed him into a tight hug that literally knocked the air out of Dick's lungs.

As they hugged they heard what sounded like a stampede of wild elephants rushing into the room. Suddenly, Jason, Damian, and Tim burst into the room and saw the two men.

"Damn. Dickhead's an adult again. Let's go guys." Jason left with the other two boys following behind dutifully.

Dick and Bruce turned to each other and burst out laughing. "Glad I was missed. Hey, now that I'm adult, and my apparently no longer wanted by my brothers, do you want to do something with me?"

Bruce raised his eyebrows. "Depends what you want to do. I'm not going to ride an elephant no matter how much you beg."

Dick looked thoughtful for a second. "That's a really good idea, maybe another time. What I wanted to ask, is if you wanted to go bungee jumping with me. Everything's already set up, we just have to show up."

Bruce grinned. "Go get dressed. I'll tell Alfred."

Dick practically ran out of the room, before running back inside. "Make sure to tell him I want copies of all good photos. And tell him I want a coffee now that I'm not a toddler." With that Dick ran out of the room again, leaving Bruce completely confused, but no less happy.

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 **A/N: This is officially the end of this prompt, which is so sad because I had so much fun writing it.**

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 **Thank you _Turtle-Tastic3000_ for your suggestion! **

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 **Please please please review! And if you have a prompt idea, please share!**


	13. Datus Interruptus

**Datus Interruptus**

Bruce sighed. He should've known that he couldn't enjoy a nice dinner date with a woman that didn't get on his nerves. He should have known that his son's would never allow that.

The night had started off decent enough. He had told Dick where he was going to be and had taken the Bentley to pick up Maria. Maria had been well dressed and allowed him to lead her to the car, where he took her to the newest hip five star restaurant that society had been raving about.

They had been half-way through their appetizers when he heard it. "Look who it is guys! Dad's here! Let's join him!" Bruce sighed inwardly. Who was he to think that he could have a nice dinner date without his sons. Bruce knew that Dick could act way better than the performance he just gave, so Bruce knew that his son wanted both him and his date to know that the interruption was intentional. Bruce sighed. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Dick stomped around the manor. Bruce had just informed Dick about his date, and Dick immediately knew that Bruce actually liked the woman. For Dick, this meant that there would be less father son time, and that just wouldn't do. Dick already had to share Bruce with his three brothers, he was not going to share him with some female as well.

Marching up the stairs, Dick barged into Jason's room and dragged the teen off his bed and into Tim's room. There, he grabbed Tim from his desk chair and dragged both protesting teens into Damian's room. Depositing the two boys on the floor, he started to pace with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What the hell?" Jason demanded. "What's your damn problem?"

"Bruce is on a date!" Dick exclaimed like that was all the explanation the other three boys needed.

"Ttt... idiot. As much as it displeases me, Father goes on plenty of dates." Damian scoffed.

"Yeah. But he doesn't enjoy them! He was excited for this date, and I for one, refuse to share Bruce with anyone else!" Dick ranted.

Jason snorted. "You make it sound like you're a couple."

"He likes her! If we don't end it now, he might marry her and have more children." Turning to Damian he said, "Then you won't be his only blood son."

Damian snarled. "We must end their date! Father shall not sully his bloodline any further!"

"You guys sound crazy. Bruce deserves happiness too." Tim reasoned.

"Bruce won't have time to go over R&D designs with you anymore if he has a baby." Dick was practically hyperventilating.

"Okay let's calm down. Bruce has replaced us all with younger models. It'll be fine." Jason snorted. "He won't suddenly not have time for us."

"Todd with an infant around, Father will force you into healthier habits. No more or your disgusting cigarettes and beer." Damian yelled.

"That's it. We need to put an end to this dating madness right now!" Jason yelled.

"Bruce told me where he was going, but we can't just rush in. We need a plan!" Dick sounded like he was giving an inspirational speech before a battle.

* * *

Dick smiled as he pushed Bruce further into the booth and sat down next to him. Damian sat down in his lap, burying his face in Dick's neck. Jason sat down next to Bruce's date and immediately started flirting with Bruce's date. Tim meanwhile sat down next to Jason and was reading something on his phone with a bored expression on his face.

"Hey Dad! Fancy seeing you here. Poor Damian was so upset that you left him to go on a date that wasn't with his mother, that we decided to take him to a restaurant as a distraction. Weird that you happened to be here too."

Damian chose that moment to crawl into Bruce's lap, looking up at him with big watery eyes. "Why are you cheating on Mother, Father? She loves you so much."

Bruce grinded his teeth. "Damian, you and I both know that your mother only loves herself." Turning to his eldest, he said, "I told you I was going on a date here. Remember?"

Dick gave him a nonchalant shrug, but Bruce could see the mischief in his eyes. "Oh you did? I wasn't listening. Maybe that's why I chose this restaurant, you know subconscious suggestion and all that."

Dick watched as the muscle in Bruce's cheek twitched. That was a sure sign that the man was beyond annoyed. Dick turned to watch as Jason flirted more and more with Bruce's date. The poor woman looked extremely uncomfortable. Deciding to take some mercy on her, Dick said, "Hi, my name is Dick and that's Jason, Tim, and Damian." He gestured briefly at each of his brothers. "What's your name?"

The woman looked relieved to be included in a conversation, and away from Jason's relentless flirting. But that was all part of the plan. "My name is Maria. This is our ninth date."

Dick let out a low whistle. This was much worse than he had originally imagined. With nine dates, Bruce must really like her. "Wow. Funny with nine whole dates you'd think he would have at least mentioned you."

The woman quivered slightly. He knew he was being cruel, but there was no way he was letting her take away his man. "Oh. I guess. So you're his kids?"

"Yeah. We are. I mean all of us but Damian are adopted, but he loves us all the same. Right Dad?" Dick asked innocently.

"Of course." Came his automatic reply, but he gave him a look that clearly stated _What the hell are you up to?_

"Before Bruce, I grew up in the circus, Jason grew up on the streets, Tim grew up with neglectful parents, and Damian's mother and grandfather were emotionally and physically abusive respectfully. So you could say that Bruce is our hero." All the warmth melted from his face and Maria swallowed nervously. "You could say that we're protective of him."

Tim cleared his throat loudly. "Bruce. Lex Luthor just emailed me directly. They want us to do a joint project to create a weapon where you can chose to who to annihilate based off of uniform color. All foreign troops would be killed while our own survived."

Bruce immediately straightened. "Didn't me and Dick say that we were not going to be a part of that project? I clearly remember Dick dominating the board room." Dick beamed at the praise, leaning into Bruce slightly.

"He was hoping the R&D department would go behind your backs with the incentive of a giant check." Tim said bitterly. "My department would never sink to such levels, but I still think that we should monitor R&D carefully. I don't think anyone would work on a Lex Corp project that you guys flat out denied, they respect you too much. And everyone in R&D loves Dick because he can keep up with them when they nerd out."

"I don't get it." Maria said softly. "Why would he email R&D directly?"

Tim sighed noisily. "The guy's a snake. Dick and Bruce refused to do business with him, so he chose to go to me hoping for a different result." Tim gave him an appraising look before scoffing. "We talk business a lot. You better brush up if you think you can keep up."

Jason leered as he looked down her dress. "I do hope you can keep up Maria."

"That's it! I'm out of here! Bruce I'd never ask you to chose between me and your children, but with them in the picture, there is no way that there can be anything between us!" Gathering her coat, she shoved her way past Jason and Tim before turning around and yelling, "I'll take a cab home!"

Dick turned to Bruce calmly. "What a surprise. Can we get a ride home with you? Or do you want to finish your meal?"

Growling, Bruce took out his wallet and placed three hundred dollars on the table. That was more than enough to pay for the appetizers and drinks, as well as tip the waiter heavily for the scene they had caused.

He marched out of the restaurant with his four boys following behind him dutifully. Once they entered the car, Bruce allowed his anger to explode. "What the hell was that!"

He immediately got four different responses.

Dick yelled, "I'm not sharing you with anyone else!"

Damian scoffed, "I shall not allow you to dirty your bloodline any further!"

Tim shrugged, "You won't have time to talk me about R&D if you have a baby."

Jason snorted before saying, "My bad habits are mine. I will not change myself because you suddenly want kids."

Bruce blinked. He opened and closed his mouth twice, before he shook his head. There was nothing to say. Only his sons would feel threatened by a date. He started to laugh quietly, somehow, this just made him love his sons more than ever.

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	14. Secret Surprises

**Secret Surprises**

Bruce shuffled around the manor confused. For the first time since he had taken Dick in, his son had blown him off. No matter how angry Dick was at Bruce, he had always shown up when Bruce invited him to a restaurant. Dick seemed to realize that that was how Bruce extended the olive branch, and the dinner always ended with them having a stronger bond than before.

Now, he wandered aimlessly trying to think whether or not he had angered his oldest son. The boy had been laughing and joking with him when he had invited him out to lunch. They had agreed to meet at Dick's favorite italian restaurant, and Bruce had waited for over four hours for Dick to show up before going home.

Passing the entryway for the fifth time Bruce was startled to see Dick struggling to balance twelve wrapped boxes. Walking to his son, he tries to take a few but Dick declined his help. "I got this Bruce. Don't worry."

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows but retracted his hands. "You didn't show up at the restaurant."

Dick's eyes widened momentarily before they became glassy and filled with tears. "I can't believe you didn't remember!" He sniffled before turning his back on Bruce and walking away. The stacked boxes were teetering constantly, and Dick let out a small yelp as one threatened to fall.

Bruce lowered his head slightly. "What could he have possibly forgotten? And why was it so important that he remember?

Bruce sighed. There was only one person that could be trusted for such valuable insight. Walking to the kitchen, Bruce went in search of Alfred.

The kitchen counter was filled with an array of baking goods. Bruce could see Alfred furiously whipping something in a bowl and on closer inspection it was icing? Alfred usually thought of healthier alternatives than the sugary confectionary treat, so it came to Bruce as a shock that the man was willingly making it. Not only that, but there was the largest cake that he had ever seen sitting on top of Alfred's kitchen counter.

"Master Bruce. Are you going to gape all day or are you going to ask me a question?" Alfred's reply came out in a short tone that the butler rarely used on him.

"Uh Alfred? I wanted to know what the importance of today was. Dick seems upset with me, and he blew me off earlier." Bruce knew that he had mumbled the last part, but he had no doubt the butler would understand him.

"Master Bruce. I'm afraid you are on your own. I promised Master Dick that I would not reveal anything to you, should you come asking. Why don't you go to your room and think it over some?" The butler didn't turn around from where he was mixing his icing and Bruce felt his shoulder's slump.

Following Alfred's advice, Bruce walked up the stairs and towards his room before he had an idea. Knocking briefly, he entered Tim's room. To his surprise he found Tim gathering balloons and streamers in a box, before leaning over to grab a canister of compressed helium. Bruce found himself not caring what his middle child was up too, he just wanted to know what he had forgotten. "Tim…"

He was immediately cut off by the boy saying, "Dick said not to tell you. Want to help me with my experiment? I was hoping to see the effects of compressed helium on the durability of balloons. I was hoping to use the streamers as a…"

This time Tim was cut off by Bruce leaving the room. Tim shook his head ruefully. "Looks like Jason was right. He's on a mission to find out what upset Dick and won't let anything stop him. Standing up, he quickly double checked his supplies before rushing downstairs and into the ballroom.

Bruce knocked on Damian's door before entering. Damian was playing music at blaring volumes and every once in awhile adding a song to a flashdrive. Turning the music off momentarily he said, "I will not betray Grayson's trust. Not even for you father." He proceeded to turn the music back on, and Bruce once again left the room in frustration, not missing Damian's scoffed whisper of 'idiot.'

Desperate for answers, Bruce knocked on Jason's door. He knew that Jason would just as likely try and stir up trouble than tell Bruce the truth, but he needed answers, and Jason was his last hope. Walking in, he noticed right away that the lights were turned off and Jason appeared to be playing with some sort of lights program on his laptop. Jason scoffed and turned on his desk lamp. "Well look what the cat dragged in. What could you possibly want in my humble abode?"

Bruce really hated the smirk on Jason's face, but chose to remain silent. "Let me guess Old Man, you want to know what's got Dickhead upset." When Bruce nodded, Jason's smirl seemed to grow in size. Bruce would compare the boy to the animated Grinch movie that Dick had forced them all to watch together. "No can do Old Man. Dickhead wants you to figure it out yourself. Said that you're a detective and all that shit. Was pretty upset too, so better think fast." With that, Jason turned to face away from him, effectively ending their conversation. When Bruce made no move to leave, Jason shut of the light and called out "Tick tock Old Man" before working on his laptop again.

Falling on his bed, Bruce began to think. He combed through the last few weeks he had spent with Dick, and when that didn't reveal anything, he thought back further. They hadn't spent as much time together in the last month as they had previously and Bruce was suddenly concerned that it wasn't because of their busy schedules but rather because his son was angry at him for some reason.

Bruce knew that he was not father of the year. He was constantly busy, was in Alfred's words, emotionally incompetent, had a quick temper, and committed aggravated assault on a nightly basis. Dick had never seemed to mind and had even said that Bruce was 'the best father that he could ask for.' But now Bruce had his doubts. What if he had slowly building resentment over the years and now hated him? It wasn't like Bruce hadn't given him enough reason with the missed birthdays, holidays, and sports games.

Shaking his head, Bruce tried to snap out of it. It had to be a single event, otherwise someone would have told him, and Dick wouldn't have looked like he was going to cry. Had the boy tried to make things work with Barbara again? Bruce knew his son was a romantic, but Barbara was just as emotionally incompetent as he was since her accident.

What event could he have possibly missed? He was shaken out of his musings when Clark Kent walked into his bedroom. "Didn't they ever teach you how to knock Boy Scout?" He bit out scathingly.

Clark gave him a disappointed look before saying, "I did. Several times in fact. I figured that you might of fallen asleep."

Bruce sat up and rubbed a hand down his face. "No such luck I'm afraid."

Clark cocked his head to the side slightly before saying, "Why are you up here alone anyways? Everyone else is in the ballroom."

Bruce was immediately up and flying down the stairs. It didn't even register that Clark had said the _ballroom_ which was only ever used when they hosted society events.

Rushing into the room, Bruce choked down a curse when confetti was launched into his face along with a loud chorus of 'Surprise!'

Looking around, Bruce was shocked to see every member of the Justice League that he grudgingly called a friend, Selina Kyle, Lucius Fox, his butler, and all four of his sons grinning at him. Picking a piece of confetti out of his hair, Bruce muttered, "Huh?"

Laughter rang out among the assorted guests before Lucius walked over and clapped him on the shoulder. "Bruce you a fine boy there. Dick emailed us months ago about throwing you a surprise birthday party. He said that the hardest part would be keeping you from finding out. Looks like he did a good job."

Chuckling slightly, Lucius walked away and Bruce watched in confusion as Dick bounded up to him and pulled him into a tight hug, followed by hugs from the rest of his sons. Still confused Bruce turned to Dick and said, "I thought...but you...you were crying!"

Dick pouted. "It was so hard keeping you from being suspicious before today, we knew that we had to get you out of the house! So I started to talk about Italy before rambling about the new restaurant I went to, which made you want to ask me to my favorite Italian place. Jason suggested standing you up. Said that you'd be gone a lot longer than if I went. I hated it! Then when you came home, I burst into tears on command, thanks to Alfred's training, and set you up on a wild goose chase. That was also Jason's idea."

Bruce tried to process what he just heard, but couldn't. "So you didn't stand me up?"

Dick shook his head forcefully before saying, "Well I did, but it was for the greater good! I didn't want to."

"And you guys did all of this?" Bruce asked gesturing vaguely around him.

Tim grinned. "I did the decorations, Damian did the music, and Jason did lighting. Alfred made all the food of course. We offered to get catering, but he wouldn't hear it, even with a speedster coming."

"But my birthday is still.." Bruce trailed off. He couldn't have possibly forgotten his birthday, could he?

"One month, three days, and four hours away." Jason parroted. "Dick said that this was the perfect time. You wouldn't be expecting anything quite yet and it's not outrageously early. Dickhead put a lot of thought into when we should throw it."

Bruce blinked and felt all the information sink in. Slinging an arm around Dick's shoulder and one around Jason's he smiled. "Well, let's enjoy this party you through me. I want cake."

Bruce couldn't help but inwardly grin as Jason shook off his arm and Dick dragged him around showcasing each of his brother's contribution to the party as if he were a proud parent. He couldn't even feel mad that his sons had used emotional manipulation to keep the party a secret. They had obviously worked hard to make this party special to him, and for that, he couldn't help but feel grateful.

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 **A/N: Well...I don't know what inspired this one shot, but I wrote it around 1 a.m. so maybe sleep depravity?**

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	15. High Society Shenanigans

**High Society Shenanigans**

Bruce surveyed the scene carefully. The high society banquet seemed to be going well, but what troubled him was that his four sons were out of sight. He knew from personal experience the sheer destructive power the four boys had when they fought, or worse, when they worked together.

Bruce could hardly call himself surprised when Dick suddenly fell from the ceiling, flipping mid air and upon landing doing multiple handsprings to break his landing. Landing on one knee, he kissed the hand of the socialite that he had narrowly missed hitting. The lady blushed and all her friends started to whisper and giggle.

Bruce grabbed his son by the ear and dragged him to a secluded corner. "What the hell was that?" He hissed quietly, smiling at the people waving at him.

Dick looked slightly sheepish before gesturing wildly around him. "Jason asked me to do him a favor! He said that he was playing with a frisbee in here earlier, teaching Damian to be a 'real' boy and all that! He tossed the frisbee into the chandelier and asked me to get it before you noticed! How was I supposed to know that he buttered the chandelier so I'd fall!"

It took all Bruce's strength to resist face-palming. "Why did you do it now, of all times?"

Dick blinked. "When else am I ever in the Ballroom?"

* * *

Jason crept to the middle of the Ballroom holding twenty hula hoops and a microphone. Surprisingly nobody seemed to notice. Dick had bedazzled his leather jacket a week prior, and it was time for revenge. His older brother certainly did not expect him to butter the chandelier, and he would definitely not expect this. Revenge was certainly best when it was least expected. He knew that Bruce would skin him alive, but it would be worth the look on Dick's face.

Clearing his throat, he spoke into the microphone. "Esteemed ladies, as we all know, my older brother Richard recently turned twenty three. I'd say he's a very eligible bachelor, in fact he told me this morning that he was willing to marry anyone who could beat him in hoola hooping the longest! Apparently its an old gypsy tradition, so who are we to question it! So I welcome all ladies to try and win my brother's hand in marriage through a hula hooping contest against the one and only Richard Grayson-Wayne!"

Jason escaped the mob of females racing through him with a torn suit, messy hair, and the promise to find more hula hoops. He was so glad that he had bought around a hundred at the dollar store earlier. He was so ecstatic with the results of his prank that he ran right into Dick, who grudgingly held a hula hoop in one hand.

"Better win Dickhead. I don't want some brat as a sister." Jason gloated.

Dick's eyes narrowed before he ripped the microphone out of Jason's hand. "Apparently I'm hula hooping for my own hand in marriage. You know funny story, when I told Jason about that tradition, Jason told me that he could beat anyone and everyone in beer pong. He was willing to bet a grand on it, so I'm sure he is willing to do so now. Since we don't have beer, I'm sure wine will work. Apparently beer pong is a game that kids on the street play to pass the time. Of course they use gutter water, but same rules apply."

Hearing the agreement to the game coming from the male guests, Dick gave Jason a smug look. "Dick we don't have a ping pong ball!" Jason said mirroring Dick's smugness.

Dick raised an amused eyebrow. "You mean like this one?" He pulled a ping pong ball out of his trouser pockets. "I knew you'd try and get revenge, so I set up a failsafe. Now I need to try and win my own hand in marriage, so try to not lose your entire trust fund." Dick walked away with a skip in his step and Jason fumed. His perfect plan was in ruins!

* * *

Bruce watched with growing horror as Jason played 'wine' pong with the esteemed gentlemen and ended up with wine stains all over his Armani suit. Bruce found solace in the fact that his son had not lost any money but had come out of the game with fifteen thousand dollars.

Dick on the other hand was still hula hooping against one determined female. Dick was casually sipping on a glass of wine and laughing at something that Tim said while Damian pouted next to them. Bruce had no idea where his two younger sons had appeared from, but he was glad that they were within his line of vision.

The female on the other hand was panting and covered in sweat, but she did not seem to mind as she tried to win. Dick seemed to be bored and he smiled at the remaining girl and gave her a wink. The girl froze and her hula hoop clattered to the ground.

Dick smiled before stopping his own hula hoop and throwing his hands up in victory. The crowd laughed and applauded as Dick gave them a sweeping bow. Dick immediately turned to his brothers and gave Tim a huge hug that swept the poor boy off the ground.

* * *

Tim felt like his insides were being squeezed out of him. Dick's hug, while nice in concept was damaging his spine. Finally Dick released him and he sucked in as much air as possible.

Turning, he saw the jealous look Damian was giving him before he covered it up, and a cunning look replaced it. Tim felt his stomach curl. That was never a good look for him.

Damian walked up to him and Dick and haughtily said, "Drake I dare you to make a fool of yourself on the dance floor."

Tim shook his head violently. There was no way that he was ever going to draw attention to himself on the dance floor.

Dick meanwhile, seemed to think that it was a great idea. "Come on Timmy! I'll go with you! We can do the electric slide!" Dick proceeded to practically drag Tim to the dance floor.

"Dick! It's not the right music!" Tim whispered urgently. He hoped that that would deter his brother, but he should have known better.

"That's what makes it funny Timmy! Please! For me!" Dick gave Time his patented puppy eyes, and Tim felt his will crumble. There was no way he could withstand the look if the Batman couldn't.

Taking a deep breathe, he said, "Let's do this."

Dick grinned before counting them off, and they began to do the electric slide to the classical music that was playing.

* * *

Damian growled. Drake was supposed to be humiliated, but instead he was having a good time with Grayson. Hw angrily stuffed a bite of cake in his mouth. He needed to take Grayson out of the equation.

Spotting Todd by the dancefloor, Damian stalked closer to him. "Todd I require your assistance in drugging Grayson so I can humiliate Drake."

Damian watched in horror, as Todd faked tripping, and smashed his cake in Damian's face. "I'm so sorry brat. I tripped and didn't see you there. You're just too short for me to notice without seeking you out."

Damian growled before chucking his cake at Todd. Todd dodged last second, and the cake ended hitting Drake and Grayson. Damian couldn't help but gloat as Drake looked down in shock at his cake splattered suit. Damian however, did not find it funny when Drake ripped cake out of a socailites hands and through it at him. He glared down at the cake splattered across his custom made suit before narrowing his eyes.

Dick immediately stepped between the brothers and raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Come on guys. Let's leave it at that, we don't need to start a war." The three brothers gave him a nod before each chucked a piece of cake at him. Dick wiped the cake off of his face. "Oh it's on."

Socialites chuckled as the four brothers chucked cake at each other, until one was unfortunately hit in the crossfire. "You brat!" She shouted before tossing her cake at Dick, who dodged it. The cake continued to soar where it hit Bruce in the chest.

The socialite paled as Bruce Wayne stared down at his expensive suit and narrowed his eyes. The brothers started to edge away from their father, but it was too late. Bruce grabbed a chunk of cake off of his suit and through it at Jason. Jason was hit in the face and shouted, "Oh it's on Old Man!"

For the first time in high society history, there was a food fight in the middle of a charity gala. The occupants of the room left strangely satisfied in their ruined expensive apparel. They had had fun throwing food at each other and acting like children and not like snotty adults. They certainly had the Wayne boys to thank for that.

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. **A/N: So...here it is...please let me know what you think! And spend a moment to write a review! Prompt ideas welcome!**


	16. Past Woes

**Past Woes**

Dick thought that the night was going pretty well. Bruce had trusted that Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin could handle a disturbance down by the Gotham Docks. Dick wasn't sure if this was because Bruce thought they could handle things without him now or he wanted a break from their constant bickering. Dick was leaning towards the latter.

The villain had been some minor one that none of the four boys had recognized. He had managed to hit all four of them with a yellow beam of light, but nothing happened. Shrugging it off, Dick figured that it was another failed experiment. He had proceeded to help his brothers kick the man's ass before sticking a bow on his head and dropping him off at the Police Station. It was Commisioner Gordon's birthday and Dick thought the man deserved something nice.

Soon after they had called it a night. Dick bounded up the stairs after his brothers after a quick talk with Bruce. He wanted to take a shower before they used all the hot water, again. Walking into his personal bathroom, Dick turned the shower on before taking his shirt and pants off. He was about to take off his underwear when a bright light surrounded him.

Blinking a few times, Dick's vision cleared and he found himself staring at his former team as well as half the Justice League. Looking down at himself he sighed in relief. "I'm so glad I didn't take my underwear off."

Dick surveyed the team quickly and efficiently. They were all on guard and Batman seemed unable to place him. Tilting his head slightly he said, "Trying to figure out how you know me B? Your detective skills are legendary, so you might figure it out. I'm not sure I'd be impressed though. You've figured out much tougher."

Batman looked ready to attack him, and Dick prepared himself to dodge, aware that his younger self would take cues from Batman and not try to talk it out. Whatever was going to happen was interrupted by Damian appearing on the floor next to him naked. The boy was covered in suds and had a rubber duck in his hand and seemed not to notice that he had changed venues.

Looking up he scowled, in what Dick thought was an adorable manner. "Grayson. Why are you interrupting my bath. I am washing away the grime of battle, I wish to not be disturbed."

Dick coughed slightly. "Damian. We aren't in Kansas anymore."

Damian growled. "We live in Gotham not Kansas!" Damian then looked around. "Grayson. I demand you give me clothes!"

Dick looked around helplessly. "Does it look like I have clothes right now?"

Damian scowl deepened. "Relinquish your undergarments. They will do."

Dick blushed slightly. "I'm older than you Damian. It's more socially acceptable for you to be naked than it is me."

Damian scoffed. "All the harlots in this room have seen you naked at some point. And when I broke into the Watch Tower, and spied on them, they had nothing but good things to say, rest assured. As for farther, he was changing your diaper a month ago, nothing is new in that department."

Dick didn't know where to begin with that statement. There was just so much wrong with that statement. "Damian. A month ago, I was a toddler. Dad changing my diaper was not weird, him seeing me naked would really be weird. More importantly, you're ten. You should not know about sex, let alone listen to woman talk about having sex with your brother. That's just weird on so many levels. And before you ask, it is weird to listen in on your father's sex life too."

Lucky for Dick, Damian's response was cut off by the appearance of Jason. Jason was wearing his pajama pants and had a shirt in his hand. Dick tackled his brother, ripping the shirt out of his hands and quickly shoving it on Damian. At least now, all three brother's were wearing clothes.

"Dickhead! That's mine! You could've asked. I didn't need to be molested!" Jason shouted waving his arms around.

Dick sighed. Sometimes he wished he was a toddler again. Things were so much easier when he didn't have to be responsible for his brother's when they were stuck in the past. Dick quickly glanced at the team and Justice League while answering Jason. "We both know you wouldn't have handed it over. As for molesting you, quit exaggerating. If I remember correctly, you tried to kiss me during our Brocation because you were jealous that girls were hitting on me."

Dick narrowed his eyes at Batman. The man had his hand over a pouch on his belt that Dick knew contained tranquilizers. "It was our Brocation! No sleeping with the natives, even if they are hot!"

Batman's fingers inched closer to the tranques. Dick's staring contest was interrupted by Tim landing at his feet , with a towel wrapped haphazardly around his waist. "Hey Timmy. Glad you could join us."

Tim made a quiet groaning noise and Dick locked eyes with each of his brothers before glancing at Batman again. They followed his lead and saw the man's hand slip into the pouch. Dick gave them a quick warning glance and a smile, indicating that he had a plan, even if it was stupid.

Dick bounded up to Batman the way he usually would, and pulled the man into one of his soul crushing hugs. The brothers winced in sympathy, knowing that the experience could feel be fatal. They watched as Batman tried to hit him with the tranquilizer and Dick skillfully flipped himself so that he was standing on the man's shoulders with his hands before dropping behind him, stealing the tranquilizer in the process.

Batman reached for his belt only to discover it missing, and Dick clicked it onto his waist before scampering up the rafters where he pulled out a putty capsule and smashed it to the ceiling before placing a giant shard of Kryptonite in it. He was glad that Batman prepared for anything as he threw yellow dye capsules at Green Lantern before engaging Wonder Woman.

Damian had moved into action as soon as he saw Dick hug his father, engaging mini-Grayson. Damian smirked. Grayson was much better as an adult than a child, and because they trained together so often, he knew the man's moves. He subdued the boy before stealing his belt and zip tying him. He narrowed his eyes at the Martian who was trying to get in his head and engaged in mental and physical battle.

Jason groaned as he took on both Arrows and Aqualad. He maneuvered the battle so that he the Arrows were blocking whatever move Aqualad tried to make. He really wished he had his guns right now, even if Bats had made them nonlethal tranquilizing bullets. He'd even settle for one of his hunting knives, and because he's a true masochist, a crowbar.

Hearing his name being called, he turned in time to catch a knife being thrown at him. It was a kitchen knife, but it was well balanced. He gave the Replacement a two finger salute in thanks before re-engaging in battle a smirk forming on his face.

Tim was facing two speedsters, normally that would be hard, but Tim knew speedsters and therefore knew their weaknesses. In this case, he led them past where Dick was fighting and smirked as his older brother handing him some exploding marbles, fast acting putty, and a trip wire. As he dodged their super speed punches, he threaded the trip wire. Finally he had them in the perfect position. Rolling the marbles in the ground, he watched as Barry dodged them, which caused him to trip over the wire. Wally meanwhile, ran straight into them, and they started exploding like firecrackers around his feet, in the process leaking a biodegradable slick substance that would not allow any speedster to gain traction. Throwing his putty capsules at the two downed speedsters, he watched as they were encapsulated by a foam that would not allow them to vibrate their way out. Turning he narrowed his eyes at Black Canary and quickly engaged her in hand to hand combat where, she could hopefully not gain enough time to scream.

As Dick tied up Wonder Woman with her own lasso, he scanned the room. Most of the heroes were down, but what concerned him was Batman. The man was nowhere in sight, and Dick knew from experience that that was usually not a good thing. Creeping down the halls, he entered the computer room. Batman was furiously typing away, probably to erase all data on the hard drives and also to alert the rest of the League.

"You know. We don't want your information. We have way better and way more at home." Dick said casually as he walked in. His body was tense though, he was ready to fight whatever Batman through at him, whether that be literally or figuratively.

He watched as the man tensed. So he had finally managed to sneak up on the man, Dick wondered whether or not it would be appropriate to gloat. "Have you figured out who we are?"

Batman growled. "I don't need to. You're villains."

Dick couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing. "Man. I wish you told jokes like that all the time. Then we'd have to rename you the Joker. I wonder if Jason would take offense to that. He's still fairly sensitive." Seeing Bruce's blank glare, Dick hit his forehead. "Seriously! You haven't figured it out? Man I think someone else deserves the title of World's Greatest Dad. Get it, I switched Dad and Detective, which is funny because you're my dad!" Still receiving no verbal acknowledgment Dick's shoulders slumped. "Who else could take out the all those heroes in their underwear? And have their biometrics take off your belt? And Robin's? You trained us all and adopted us all. Well you adopted three of us, Damian's actually your blood son."

Batman stared at him hard. "Dick?"

Dick beamed. "Who else. Aren't you glad your son grew up this good looking?"

"I'd appreciate it more if you had some clothes on." Bruce said dryly earning another round of laughter from Dick.

"Man I better call off the brother's. Jason's got a knife which is never a good sign, and Damian can be a little bloodthirsty." Dick said as he walked out of the room.

Batman frowned as he followed Dick. "And Timmy?"

Dick paused. "The other two have probably tied him up by now. They tend to gang up on him. They have some issues that they're still trying to work out, but as long as they're not trying to murder each other, I count it as a plus!"

"Murder?" Bruce really hoped that that was a figure of speech.

"Jason's got replacement issues and Damian has entitlement problems, but we're working on it." What worried Bruce the most was that Dick didn't seem that concerned.

Walking into the room, Bruce felt something akin to pride swell up. All the heroes were trussed up and glaring at the Damian and Jason who seemed to be debating the best knife wielding techniques. Dick was right. Tim was tied up, but unlike the others he was resting comfortably on the sofa. Also he looked bored, like he could escape but it was considered to much work.

Dick clapped his hands once and the three boys turned to him, Tim easily slipping out of his bonds and joining his brothers. "Well, me and B worked out our issues. Daddybats is once more."

Jason snorted. "Of course Golden Boy talks some sense into him. I don't care how much Bats swears up and down that Dickhead doesn't have a metagene. That man knows how to get what he wants, where he wants, and when he wants it." The other two boys nodded their agreement.

Dick blushed slightly before smirking. Gesturing to his body, he said, "It was all this."

Damian gasped. "I knew it! I knew you and father were in a sexual relationship! Ever since Oracle said that you were like the mother of our family! Nobody believed me and you denied it, but you finally admitted it!"

Dick paled and his mouth dropped open. Jason burst into laughter while Tim just shook his head. Finally Dick pulled himself together. "It was a joke Damian. I really inappropriate joke to lighten the mood slightly. I am not, nor will I ever be in a sexual relationship with my adoptive father. A man who I call Dad."

Damian's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying my father's not good enough for you? You've slept with more harlots and whores than I can count. Father would be a catch."

Dick sighed. How Damian could twist his words like that, he's never know. "That's not what I'm saying. But Damian, I have sex with women, not men." Seeing Damian about to open his mouth he added, "Not that that isn't okay, I'm just not into that. Like you rather use a katana than escrima sticks, some people prefer to sleep with their own gender rather than the opposite. Now's really not the right time to explain this. Why don't we talk about it when we get home?"

When Damian nodded, Dick sighed in relief, turning to Bruce he whispered, "You will be a part of that conversation, so mentally prepare yourself. I know you'll need the next ten years to do so."

Facing the rest of the room, Dick sighed. "Now that we've worked everything out, and Batman clearly think we're not a threat to national security let alone the rest of the world, will you please not attack us if we let us go?"

Seeing their grudging nods, Dick turned to Batman. "Yeah, I'm not an idiot. Will you untie them please? I'll retrieve the Kryptonite from the ceiling."

Batman growled but did as instructed. The two Supers let out a simultaneous grown, and Batman knew that Dick had put away the glowing green rock. Wonder Woman stood up angrily. "Batman, if they are not a threat, I demand that you tell us why they attacked us!"

Batman looked at Dick curiously. It was a good question. "Simple. Batman was going to tranquilize us, and let me tell you, that stuff is not fun. It can put down rhinoceros let alone a human. I mean that stuff makes Bane go _buenas noches._ Not feeling the aster after being hit with that crap."

Artemis' eyes widened. "Aster! You're him, only you're older!" She said while gesturing frantically at a confused younger version of himself.

"Older and better looking with three devilly handsome brothers. And I'm putting emphasis on the _devil._ " Waving off the three rounds of protests that he received he continued. "Not that it really matters, we gotta get back to our own time. I'm assuming that the League can help with that. Our Dad is probably freaking out. I left the water running"

Tim snorted. "Probably thinks we've been kidnapped. Again."

"The Commissioner won't be having a very good birthday then. Nobody wants to hear B call freaking the fuck out on their birthday." Jason said with mock sadness.

All four boys looked off into the distance before Tim snorted. "That's not even funny because it's true!"

Only Batman and Robin seemed to understand what was so funny, but they decided not to share. "I have a time travelling device." Superman offered awkwardly. "From when I got launched into the distant future. It's at the Cave of Solitude, so I'll be back in a minute."

Minutes passed in awkward silence as Dick and Damian handed back their commandeered belts and otherwise said nothing. Finally Superman returned. Tim expertly took the device and started to set the time and date that they wanted to go to. Superman tries to explain things to him but Tim waves him off. "I'm a technical genius and the head of R&D. Believe me I know what I'm doing. We'll return this to you when you visit us tomorrow night for dinner. Well, tomorrow in ten years."

Dick waved goodbye as they were launched back into their own time. Of course they landed in the middle of Bruce, Alfred, the Commissioner, and a bunch of police officers.

Seeing their flabbergasted expressions, Dick cut in before his brothers tried to explain. "Dad! Oh man am I glad to see you! This guy climbed through the window and zapped me with this green light! Next thing I know, I'm in the past standing next to Batman and the original Robin as well as the rest of the Justice League. Then Damian shows up naked, so when Jason showed up we gave him his shirt, and then Tim shows up. It took a while to explain who we were, because Dick Grayson is only thirteen at the time, and he doesn't have any siblings, but then they gave us a time traveling device, and well here we are! Batman said he'd come for it tonight."

Commissioner Gordon shook his head. "I'm too old for this." He proceeded to heard the police officers out of the house and into the cold Gotham night,

Three of the brothers disappeared up the stairs, and the butler returned to the kitchen, leaving only Bruce and Dick. Bruce sighed and gave his son a quick once over. "Do I still have to help you with that talk with Damian?"

Dick grinned. "Glad you remembered. I was thinking tomorrow." Bruce groaned as he watched Dick bound up the stairs. Dick had given him ten years to prepare, but he still wasn't ready. He didn't think he'd ever be ready to explain that he wasn't interested in having sexual relations with Dick.

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 **A/N: Gotta love those Gotham badies, never know what mayhem those ray guns will bring. Got an idea for a cool ray gun or something else, let me know! Otherwise please review what you think!**


	17. Date Crashers

**Date Crashers**

Dick shifted uncomfortably. He had been enjoying a date with a nice girl named Mary at the local movies. Normally, he would go to a club, or to a fancy dinner, but Mary insisted that they throwback to when they were teenagers and do a 'teenage' date. Dick really did not understand the logic behind that, but Mary was pretty so he went along with it.

It had started off well enough, they were watching _Table 19_ , and while Mary kept alluding to their wedding, Dick found himself enjoying the date. Dick did not have the heart to tell the girl that she would be lucky to receive a second date, but until Batman wore a pink sparkly costume as he committed aggravated assault each night, there was no way Dick would marry her.

Dick had just put his arm around her shoulder when he heard a hissing noise that he immediately recognized. Fearing what he would see, Dick turned around to see his three brothers, his father, and his butler sitting in the sow behind him. Jason was the only one who acknowledged him, and even then, it was only with a lazy smirk, before he shifted his gaze back to the movie.

Dick found himself not enjoying the movie as much as he would have without five gazes burning a hole in the back of his head. When the movie finished, Dick hurriedly ushered Mary out, hoping to lose his family in the throng of people.

Sadly, it did not work. "Dick? That you?" Dick turned and gave a betrayed look to Tim. Out of all his brothers, Tim was the one he'd pegged the least likely to betray him.

Mary gazed up at him with large eyes. "That's your family, right?" Dick gave a half hearted nod still watching his approaching family. "Introduce me. Please? I want to meet my in-laws."

As Mary dragged him closer, Dick decided that he would not be going on a second date with this girl. She'd likely be planning how many children they'd have, and as nice as she was, there was no way Dick would sit through that patiently.

Bruce gave them a huge smile when they stopped in front of him and Dick noticed the gleam in his eyes. He mentally prepared himself for the world of embarrassment that was coming. "Hey Kiddo. This is what you decided to skip family time for?"

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Bruce. We both know that their was no family time schedule for today. In fact, you had a budget meeting with Tim about R&D funds. If I remember correctly, after that you had a Public Relations meeting with Jason. You told me to take the day off because my negotiation skills weren't needed. Yet here you are."

Bruce's eyes narrowed slightly. "We decided to reschedule till later. The AC is broken at the office and it's hot out."

Dick stared hard at Bruce. The three brothers recognized the looks the two were sharing as a silent conversation. That or a battle of wills. Hopefully not the latter, because that could last hours or end up with a rare, but usually explosive, argument between the two.

As it turned out, Mary interrupted the battle of wills by stepping in front of Dick and introducing herself. "Oh Bruce! It is so great to finally meet you! And Jason, Tim, and Damian! I've heard so much about you! I'm Mary. I just wanted to introduce myself seeing as me and Dick are going to get married!"

For a moment there was only silence before Jason broke it. "Bro. Not cool. Next time tell before you propose."

Damian looked like he was going to rip off the poor girl's head. "You are not worthy of the house of Wayne! You must be taking advantage of my poor misled brother! I know that he's considered easy, but how did you trick him!"

Tim covered Damian's mouth before the boy could go any further. "Dick! What happened to our brocations every year? You and Jason both normally having sex with someone at least once! Not to mention if you had a wife, we might not be able to have brocations because she'll tag along! That's not a brocation! That's a family vacation!"

Jason shoved Tim and Damian to the side. "More importantly, what about our bachelor weekend when I turn twenty-one! It's not a bachelor weekend unless you wake up next to a woman whose name you don't remember! Actually, weren't you and Roy going on one this weekend?"

Bruce nodded sagely. "Very true Jason. I don't think it would be very good for your marriage if there was so much cheating. Besides weren't we going on that drinking...I mean business trip in Germany next month?"

Dick watched in horror as his father and brothers started arguing over bachelor weekends, brocations, and drinking trips, while Mary started to yell at him over the importance of monogamy in a relationship. Dick looked up helplessly only to see Alfred smirking at him. Dick knew without a doubt that he was not going to receive help from the butler.

* * *

Dick stumbled into the manor around ten at night. After he had finally parted ways with his family around four, Mary had insisted on going to a fancy restaurant and renting out a back room to discuss their relationship. That was five hours of his life that he would not be getting back, not to mention all the money he'd spent at the restaurant.

Dick watched as Bruce and his brothers sauntered into the foyer. "Aren't you guys supposed to be defending the weak or something?"

"Nah Bro. We wanted to see what your relationship status is. Hope we didn't mess things up for you too badly." Jason smirked slightly and Dick suddenly understood why villains cowered at the sight of Red Hood. The guy was evil. To bad Dick was evil too.

"Don't worry, _Bro._ Meeting you guys just made Mary want to get hitched more. Something about needing a firm female figure in our lives."

Dick inwardly smirked at the panicked looks he received. "During dinner she planned everything in our marriage out. Even what brand of coffee and cereal we'd have. Sorry Tim, apparently Folgers makes her nauseous."

Now they were panicking even more, and Damian was screeching about diluting perfect bloodlines and asking his mother to send assassins after the poor girl. Dick decided to let them off the hook. "Don't worry guys. I let her down gently."

Seeing the collective sigh of relief, Dick added, "The fact that she planned our cereal to be Bran Flakes was a deal breaker."

Dick left his stunned siblings and father behind as he whistled to his his room. Seriously, it was cute when they crashed Bruce's dates, but not so much when they crashed his. Especially when instead of chasing off the girl, they made her even more determined to get married. Maybe he should try dating within the superhero community again. They were harder to chase off.

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 **A/N: *Holds up hands to defend herself from crazy fans* I am so sorry that it took so long to upload the next chapter. My life has been crazy recently, but I'm so glad that I finally sat myself down and wrote another chapter of this. Please, please, please, review and give me more prompt ideas! Also, tell me if your glad I finally got my priorities straight and posted a new chapter! I love hearing from you guys, especially if you're a fan, so let me know!  
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	18. Parent Teacher Conferences

**Parent Teacher Conferences**

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 **A/N: In this story, Jason is in 12th grade, Tim in 10th grade, and Damian is in the 5th grade.**

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Every year, there was one thing Bruce Wayne hated above all else. Parent teacher conferences. The day where he got to listen to a teacher tell him how horrible it was to work with his sons. On the bright side, he no longer had to listen to how Dick scaled the side of the building to get to class on time. On the not so bright side, he now had to listen to what teachers thought about Damian. Listening to what they had to say about Dick would definitely be a more pleasant experience.

Sighing Bruce stared at the phone. Any moment now, that phone would ring and the person on the other side of that phone would tell him that the teachers for all three of his sons were requesting meetings. Right on queue the phone rang and Bruce forced himself to take a deep breath before answering. "Hello Mr. Wayne, this is Mr. Kade the headmaster at Gotham Academy. I assume you know why I'm calling?"

Bruce let out a loud sigh. "I'm guessing this is about the parent teacher meetings, and I'm guessing, that the teachers for all three of my sons are requesting meetings."

"You assume correctly Mr. Wayne." Mr. Kade responded drolly. The meetings start today at three. I emailed you the details." The headmaster did not even say 'goodbye' before hanging up.

Bruce rubbed his temples in an attempt to stave off the oncoming headache. Bruce wished that there was a way that he did not need to attend the meetings alone. Alfred had firmly told him 'no' years ago when he had asked the man to attend Dick's conference years ago. Bruce smirked, slightly. The answer to his problems was his oldest son. Quickly he pulled out his phone and called his son, telling him to hurry to his office for an emergency meeting. Leaning back into his chair, Bruce smirked at his own genius.

* * *

"Let me get this straight." Dick said for the third time. "You made me drop everything I was doing, and rush here so that you could tell me that you wanted me to attend parent teacher conferences with you? I'm not a parent!"

Bruce straightened his shoulders. He was beginning to think asking Dick to come was a bad idea, but he was not going to allow that to show. "What were you doing that was so important?"

Dick ran a hand through his hair roughly before shoving both his hands into his trouser pockets. "That's not really important Bruce."

Bruce sighed. Dick calling him Bruce was not a good sign. He usually called him some variation of dad unless he was mad, disappointed, or frustrated with him. "I know. I just wanted to bring you. The headmaster made the meeting sound like it was going to be stressful, and you're practically their mother!"

Dick scowled half-heartedly. "Dad...did you miss the memo? When I was born, they said, 'It's a boy!' not a girl."

Bruce grinned. He knew he was winning. "Fine. Sometimes you act like their mother. And were you not the one who told Jason that you were invested in his education?"

Dick deflated. "Fine. Someone needs to make sure that you don't do something you regret or will get us arrested, and I'm a good negotiator. When's the meeting?"

Bruce made no effort to refute the negotiator comment. It was amazing on what Dick could do when he wanted, and it was a miracle that he did not use his expert manipulation skills for evil. Or in Dick's case, getting more cuddle time with Bruce. "Meetings start at three. First Tim, then Jason, then Damian. Alfred said he'd pick up the boys since it was made very clear that the teachers did not want to see them during the meeting."

Dick glanced at the rolex watch on his wrist. Bruce had given it to him on his twentieth birthday, and Bruce had yet to see the younger man without it in the three years since. "Guess they don't want to see the boys more than they have too." Dick joked. "We better leave if we want to make it on time."

The two men were walking out to Bruce's parked car, when Dick turned to his father. "Did you notice that it's in order of severity? No doubt Tim's will be the easiest and Damian's will be the hardest. Wonder if they did that for your benefit. Or maybe Damian's teacher needs time to recover from her day with him before she can even think about talking about him."

Bruce didn't answer until they were in the car. "I have no doubt, that it is the second reason."

* * *

The first thing that Bruce noticed when he walked into Tim's classroom, was that the teacher smiled at him. That was definitely a good sign. The second thing he noticed was that there was a slim file open on the teacher's desk. Finally he observed that the trash can in the class was filled with coffee cups.

Sitting down, Bruce nodded his head at Dick. "This is my eldest son Dick. He decided to tag along today."

Bruce elbowed Dick when the man mumbled, "More like you dragged me here."

The teacher sat down on the other side of the desk and smiled brightly. "I'm Ms. Decraw, Tim's teacher, but you already knew that." Bruce smiled slightly and noticed the bright smile Dick gave her. Ms. Decraw seemed to melt slightly at his look, before regaining her bearings. "I requested this meeting for a few reasons Mr. Wayne. Rest assured, none of them are bad."

Ms. Decraw sifted through her file momentarily before clearing her throat. "Tim is probably the brightest student I have ever seen, the problem is he is always asleep during class. When he isn't sleeping, Tim is consuming coffee like it's what's keeping him alive. Is there anything going on at home that I should know about?"

Bruce and Dick shared a quick look. Both urging the other to answer, before Dick gave in. "We're working on the coffee addiction, as for the sleeping, Tim's an insomniac. On top of that, Tim has terrible nightmares, the whole family is working together to help him, but these things take time. As an educator, you must know that our family is derived from tragedy, but we heal each other. Healing is a lifelong process, but Tim's getting there. I'm sorry that Tim sleeps in your class, but can we overlook it in favor of admiring his academic prowess and his healing?

Ms. Decraw wavering underneath Dick's pleading look. "Of course. I would like it if you could talk to him about sleeping in my class, but as long as his grades do not slip, I don't think I need to involve the school counselor. Thank you for trusting me with the information, and rest assured, none of what you told me will reach the press."

Ms. Decraw stood up and offered her hand to both Bruce and Dick to shake. Both men sent her once last wave and in Dick's case, a wink, before exiting the class. "Now do you see why I wanted you to come? Your negotiating skills were clearly needed. If it was just me, she would have asked for Tim to see the counselor once a week."

Dick laughed slightly before shaking his head. "Don't lie Old Man. Alfred said that he wouldn't go with you so you chose the next best thing." Suddenly Dick stopped walking and turned to Bruce in shock. "Wait! Is that why I was forced to see the counselor once a week? Because of a parent teacher conference you botched?" Seeing Bruce's reluctant nod, he continued, "Do you know how messed up the counselor was? I ended up taking an online psychology class so that I could help him!"

Bruce let out a snort. "As entertaining as that visual was, you need to be on top of your game. We're about to see Jason's teacher, and no doubt she has more to say than he sleeps in class and drinks too much coffee."

* * *

Walking into Jason's class was a completely different experience. The teacher was scowling harshly in their direction and greeted them coldly. Bruce had to summon as much self control as possible before giving her a tight lipped smile and sitting down. Dick was smiling serenely at her, but Bruce could see that he was scanning her for weaknesses.

"My name is Ms. Stratten, but none of us are here for pleasantries. Jason is my most difficult student. He never does his homework, yet he gets superb test grades, which tells me if he were to apply himself, he would be a straight A student. In addition, he seems to think detention is an after school activity judging by all the detentions he's racked up by being late and sleeping during class. Finally, and most disturbingly, he seems to know his way around explosives very well. The other day, a student was about to add a chemical in his experiment when Jason casually walked by and told him, and I quote, 'adding Sodium chloride will create an explosion big enough to take out the whole school, and while you may be a die-hard nerd, that's taking it a little far.'"

Bruce nodded. He could see where the teacher was coming from, and there was no way that he could fix the whole not doing homework thing and the detention thing, but perhaps he could tell Jason to keep his knowledge on explosives on the down-low. "Jason grew up on the streets. He's seen one or two explosions in his day, and he took an interest in defusing bombs, much to my displeasure. Mostly he does research, but there was one time where we were kidnapped and the police could not enter the room without setting off an explosive. He defused the bomb and saved us all."

Beside him Dick scowled. "Did you say that Jason never turns in his homework?" When the teacher nodded with pursed lips, Dick scratched his head. "I'm sorry but that doesn't make any sense. I watch him do it every night. He asked me for help with his government homework loast night!"

The teacher raised her eyebrows slightly. "You mean when he tells me that his brother's cat shreds his homework, he's telling the truth? Or that his other brother's coffee addiction spilled on his papers?"

Bruce struggled not to facepalm. "That sounds about right. I'll talk to the other boys about that. As for the detentions, that sounds like Jason. He's dropped off on time every morning, so being late is Jason rebelling. Unfortunately."

Ms. Stratten narrowed her eyes. "I still don't like his knowledge of explosives. Last thing I need is the next psycho making his debut in my classroom."

Dick's eyes narrowed and he leaned forward on his elbows, interlacing his fingers under his chin. Bruce recognized that look. He only saw it in the boardroom when someone annoyed the ever patient Dick Grayson to the point of no return. Normally only Lex Luthor could do that, though he had seen Marvin from accounting recieve that look one time.

"Ms. Stratten. I would appreciate it if you did not refer to my brother like that. In addition, Jason's curiosity in explosives is well founded considering the situations that we have found ourselves in due to our position in society. Furthermore, from the sound of it, Jason's curiosity in explosives actually saved your life, as well as the lives of everyone in the school. If anything, you should be thanking him, not accusing him of being an up and coming Gotham villain." Dick sat back in his chair, body language signifying it was her turn to speak.

Ms. Stratten open and closed her mouth before settling her face in an angry scowl. "Be that as it may, it is concerning, and I did ask Jason to go and speak to the counselor, but he told me to 'fuck off.'"

Bruce stood up and Dick was quick to follow. This conversation was done and Bruce really hoped that he would never have to have it again. With any luck, Jason would graduate, and Bruce would only go to two parent teacher conferences the next year. As the two men walked out of the room, Dick stopped and smiled at the frowning teacher. "My advice with Jason is to make him think that it was his idea. Tell him something along the lines of him going to the counselor being a waste of time as he wouldn't be working. That usually works." With one last blinding smile, Dick followed Bruce out of the room.

Bruce gave Dick an appraising look. "You were angry at her earlier, yet you helped her. Why?"

Dick tilted his head to the side and gave Bruce a curious look. "Well of course I helped her. She has to deal with Jason on a daily basis." Bruce shook his head before he bursted out in laughter, swinging a heavy arm around Dick's shoulders.

* * *

Walking into Damian's class a sense of doom encased Bruce. The teacher was resting her head against her desk as if she was dreading the meeting as much as they were. Glancing up at the two men, the woman gave them a weak smile before introducing herself.

"Hello gentlemen. My name is Ms. Jax. I am Damian's teacher." Bruce could hear the unsaid 'unfortunately.' "I want to say that I have tried my very best to be patient and understanding with Damian this year, and that it is a miracle that we have not had this discussion yet. I would also like to ask whether or not Damian has been tested for being a sociopath."

Bruce and Dick shared a glance before Bruce said, "Can you tell us what he did?"

Ms. Jax rubbed her temples before saying, "I have caught Damian with different kinds of knives three times so far this year. I spoke to someone named Jason about that. Then there's the fact that he calls everyone names that has made multiple girls cry. He's called me a harlot and a whore more times than I can count, and then, I get questions about what those words mean. Mr. Wayne, I normally try and stay out of my student's family lives, but at this point I must know. What is going on at home that is leading Damian to act out like this? And who is teaching him that awful language?"

Dick ran his hand through his hair before turning to Bruce and nudging him to answer. Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ms. Jax. What I'm about to tell you is very confidential, and if it ends up in the papers, let it be known that the I will be taking legal actions and it will be very hard for you to find a new job." The poor woman swallowed nervously before nodding slowly. "As you probably know, I did not gain custody of Damian until this past year, as Damian's mother kept him secret from me. As such, Damian grew up living in an extremely abusive household under his mother and grandfather's care. He is not a sociopath, mind you we have had him tested, but rather a boy who does not know how to deal with his past. The doctors say that he is just beginning to realize that his relationship with his family was not normal, and that nobody should be treated like that. They also say that his dislike for women is because Damian subconsciously thought that his mother should be protecting him from the abuse that he received, not adding to it, and even encouraging it. We were going to homeschool him, but our doctor recommended that he be exposed to other children his age, so that he learns what it means to be a kid."

Ms. Jax looked like she was near tears. "That poor boy! I'll try and be more lenient with him, mind you he can't keep bringing knives to school."

Dick laughed lightly. "Now that Dad knows that he has been bringing knives, it won't happen again. Jason just 'forgot' to pass on the message. Just like he 'forgot' not to swear in front of the kid. Jason's such a shit disturber. Probably going to say he thought he was being helpful too."

Ms. Jax smiled slightly, but her eyes still held misery. Standing up, she shook hands with both of the Wayne men. Dick grinned at her before tilting his head slightly. "Don't worry Ms. Jax, I'll talk with Damian. Hopefully I can get him to give you a bit of a break." He gave her one last smile and a small finger wave before exiting the class with Bruce following behind him.

As soon as they were at the car, both men turned to each other and burst out laughing. "That went better than expected!" Dick gave a small fistpump, making Bruce laugh harder.

"Chum, that went better than any other parent teacher conference I've ever had!" Bruce said with certainty. Granted this was the first year one of his boys hadn't gotten in a fight.

Dick clearly did not believe him. "Really? Even in the golden years when I was an only child?"

"Yeah Chum, even then. Want to know why?" Dick deliberated momentarily before nodding. "Kiddo, this is the first year that I have my partner in crime going with me, of course it was better."

Dick did not respond but Bruce saw the small, genuine smile on his face. Bruce returned it before climbing into the car and gesturing Dick to climb in as well. "Come on Chum. Let's tell the boys what their teachers think of them."

* * *

The two men were ambushed by the three boys the second they stepped into the manor. All three of them were yelling and it took Bruce a moment to decipher what was being said.

Jason was yelling, "Whatever she said I did, I didn't do! Ms. Stratten is out to get me!"

Tim was waving his arms around while shouting, "I get perfect grades! So what if I sleep during class, obviously it's not that challenging anyways!"

Damian was practically screeching. "Father! Do not believe the lies that harlot told you! I act worthy of the House of Wayne!"

Dick whistled loudly and immediately the three boys stopped. "It's very simple. Tim stop sleeping in class, and minimize your caffeine addiction. Jason, stop flaunting your knowledge of explosives, and for God's sake be on time. Damian, no more knives at school, and refer to your teachers and fellow students with respect. And finally,no more sabotaging Jason's homework, even if he doesn't care!"

Bruce gave them all a smile. "Your teachers were very pleasant after we got over your issues. Now, why don't we sit down for dinner, and discuss in full what your teachers said. Afterwards, we can go to the basement, and if someone were to say the Bat Clan egged some innocent teacher's house, well we have no knowledge in the matter."

The boys grinned at each other before tackling Bruce in a hug and racing off to the kitchen. Bruce smiled as he noticed his oldest friend leaning against the wall. "Sir are you sure you should be encouraging that delinquent behavior?"

Bruce smiled slightly and shrugged. "They did accuse me of housing the next Gotham villain and a sociopath, not to mention raising my children in an abusive household."

Alfred frowned. "I shall prepare the eggs and the toilet paper Master Bruce."

Bruce let out a startled laugh before joining his sons in the dining room where Dick was animated waving his arms around as he told the story of Tim's conference meeting.

And if the front page of the newspaper was a story on how the Bat brothers were caught egging houses of three teachers, the brothers would vehemently deny it, claiming that someone must have dressed up like them.

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 **A/N: First off...thank you for being so patient. Secondly let me know if you understand the reference of where the teacher's names came from. Huge round of applause to anyone who does. What can I say other than to please review, and to leave prompt ideas if you have any!**


	19. Long Trip Home

**Long Trip Home**

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 **Rated T for Jason's dirty mouth!**

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"Do you understand the plan?" Dick asked for the fourth time within ten minutes. It was necessary that his brothers understand the severity of their roles.

"We got it Dickhead. Bruce is going to pick us up from school, and we need to keep him away from home. Bruce's lack of parenting skills will come in handy because he won't realize that you and Alfred always take us straight home." Jason said while rolling his eyes. He found his older brother's dramatics a bit much, especially because he had pulled all of them in a storage closet. No matter how petite Tim and Damian were, there was barely enough room to breath.

"Don't worry Dick. You act out your part of the plan and we'll do ours." Tim reassured quietly, while trying to adjust his arm so he could drink his coffee without elbowing one of his brothers. The last thing he needed was to start a fight in a closet with them.

"Ttt. Quit your incessant worrying Grayson. Father may be a good detective, but our acting skills are superb." Oddly enough it was Damian's arrogant tone that reassured Dick the most.

"Just remember, we need at least four hours before you guys come home. Jason, I would never actually encourage this, but today would be an amazing day to get a detention. One of the really long ones too." Dick felt like a bad brother. He should never encourage Jason to unleash mayhem on his poor teacher, yet here he was doing so for the sake of their plan.

Jason perked up at the mention of detention. "It would be my honor, Dickhead, to cause Ms. Stratten enough stress to give me an after-school detention."

Dick sent a silent prayer to Jason's poor teacher before ushering his three brothers out of the closet. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Tim shuffled into class slowly, thinking about what he could possibly do after school to delay their arrival home. Jason's detention would at best last two hours, but more than likely it would last only one unless Jason really pissed his teacher off. Tim decided that he should not doubt Jason's skills. The man most likely already had detention.

He continued to stare out of the window thinking of all the likely possibilities when his teacher's voice interrupted his musings. "I need someone to go to the public library and have thirty copies of _The Things They Carried_ by Tim O'Brien ordered. The school library misplaced our copies, and they won't be able to buy new ones in time."

Tim's hand immediately shot up in the air. Seeing the shocked looks on his classmates and teacher's face he blushed. "We're preparing a surprise for Bruce at home. We need to keep him out of the house after he picks us up. And that man is a walking lie detector. If I actually get assigned something, I'm not lying and we can keep him unsuspecting."

Ms. Decraw beamed at him. Happy that he was taking an interest to something other than, sleep, coffee, and Wayne Corp's R&D Department. "Of course Tim. Maybe tomorrow you can tell us about the surprise and how much Mr. Wayne enjoyed it."

Tim smiled slightly, noticing that she assumed that Bruce would enjoy the surprise. Personally, he didn't think the man liked surprises, but Dick insisted that he would love it as soon as he found out what was going on. He had also said that they couldn't distract Bruce with a fake issue again because the man would instantly know something was up. Apparently after Bruce's surprise party, the man had started putting alerts on his phone for every birthday, holiday, and important event celebrated in the Wayne household. Tim didn't think that was very practical except for the one alerting him that it was April 1st. Tim could definitely see the benefits behind that one. Prank wars in Wayne Manor got intense.

Refocusing on the lesson, Tim took out his phone and sent a quick text to his brothers.

 _Tim: Need to go order books from library after school. To bad its on the other side of_

 _Gotham...might take a while._

 _Dick: Good Job ;)_

 _Jason: Nerd_

 _Damian: Idiot_

* * *

Damian shifted in his desk. Drake had already secured plans for after school. He would not allow that fool to overshadow him. He forced himself to quietly listen to the teacher like Grayson had asked. In return he got five _No Cuddle Coupons._ Damian decided that he was going to save them. Grayson took that to mean he actually liked cuddling, the logic of which, Damian could not follow.

When the rest of the students filed out of the class for a snack break, Damian lingered. When they were alone in the room, Damian approached Ms. Jax with pursed lips. "What do normal children do with their parents when they wish to keep them out of the house for an extended amount of time?"

The harlot just blinked at him before sitting down and rubbing her temples. "Damian, do I need to call your father and ask him what's going on at home?"

Damian growled. "Father does not know what's going on at home because it is a surprise. Grayson has requested that Todd, Drake, and I work together to keep father out of the house after he picks us up from school."

Ms. Jax blinked slowly before she started to smile. "What a lovely idea Damian. Hmmm...you want ideas to keep him out of the house? You could go and get icecream together."

"That does not take nearly enough time." Damian resisted telling her about her idiocy. Grayson would not approve another phone call home, especially today.

"Okay...you have a cat right? Why don't you ask to go to the pet store! Then you can take a really long time looking at cat food, litter, and cat toys!" Ms. Jax beamed and Damian fought the urge to smile back at her.

"Ttt. That sounds efficient." Damian started to walk outside so he could eat the cookie Alfred had packed when he heard Grayson's voice in his head telling him to remember his manners. "Thank you Jax. Your idea was not a bad one." With that Damian walked out, not noticing that his teacher had fallen out of her chair, and had tears of joy in her eyes.

 _Damian: Alfred the cat needs supplies. Must go to the pet store today._

 _Dick: That's brilliant Dami!_

 _Jason: You did good kid._

 _Tim: Not half bad_

* * *

Jason decided that now would probably be a good time to go to class. He was already two and a half hours late, but he walked extra slow for good measure. When he entered the class, he made a point of ignoring the teacher's pointed look and dropped down in his chair, kicking his combat boots up and on the desk.

Jason watched as Ms. Stratten's face turned purple and she marched over to him. "Mr. Todd! Do you want to explain why you're so late? And why you seem to think that you own this school?"

Jason allowed a lazy smirk to appear on his face. "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. Don't get your panties in a twist. Mr. Kade not getting the job done when he's fucking you?"

Jason decided that he liked it best when Ms. Stratten's face was that eggplant shade of purple. It certainly was amusing for him, and guessing by the snickers emanating from the rest of the class, for them too. "Mr. Todd. Do you want a detention?"

Jason sat up slowly. "Oh Sammy, you always know exactly what I need. Can you make that today, and extra long too. I can make you madder if I have too."

Ms. Stratten blinked. Apparently Jason had broken the teacher. "I was told to be on my worst behavior today so that I would make the Old Man late getting home. Dickhead's setting up a surprise and all that jazz."

"I'll make that two hours. For future reference, I'll be glad to just give you the detention if you just ask."

Jason gave her his signature bad boy smirk. "Now Sam. Where would the fun in that be?"

With little regard for the 'no phones in class rule' Jason started texting his brothers.

 _Jason: Got two hours of detention._

 _Dick: I hope you weren't too mean to the poor teacher…_

 _Jason: Only asked if the headmaster wasn't fuckin' her right...it was a legit question!_

 _Tim: Did you get an answer?_

 _Dick: Tim!_

 _Damian: You're all idiots._

 _Dick: Good job guys! Me and Alfred will have everything ready for your return!_

 _Tim: Alfred and I_

 _Dick: You and Alfred what?_

 _Tim: Nevermind. See you later._

 _Jason: Bye losers_

 _Damian: Idiots_

 _Dick: Bye bros! Xoxo_

* * *

Bruce pulled into the school parking lot to find only Damian and Tim waiting for him. He wondered briefly if Jason had forgotten something, but immediately ruled that possibility out. Jason wouldn't care enough to go and retrieve whatever was missing.

Turning to the two kids in the back seat, Bruce opened his mouth to ask, but was cut off by Tim. "Jason's at detention. He should be back in an hour. Two if we're unlucky."

Turns out he was unlucky because exactly two hours later, Jason walked out of the building whistling. Hopping in the front seat, he gave Bruce a grin. "What's up Old Man? Hope you weren't too bored waiting for me."

Bruce felt that vein in his forehead throb. "Dare I ask why you got a detention?"

Jason blinked. "Apparently it's not appropriate to ask the teacher whether or not they are being fucked properly."

Bruce allowed himself a moment of weakness and rested his forehead against the steering wheel. "Jason. I had hoped that you knew that without being told."

"Well...I do now…" Jason drawled. "So. Where we going?"

"Home." Bruce said curtly. It was a long day at work, and both Dick and Alfred were sick, so he had been told to pick up the three stooges from school.

"Sorry Bruce. I need to go to the Gotham Library and order some books for class." Tim said from the backseat.

"You can go tomorrow with Dick or Alfred." Bruce really didn't want to drive across Gotham and go to the library after listening to Lex Luthor all day. The man just had to show up unexpectedly on the one day that Dick was not at the office to deal with him.

"Sorry Bruce, the library is closed for the next three day. I gotta do it today if we're going to get the books on time." Tim explained gently from the backseat. He felt awful lying to Bruce especially since it looked like he had had a bad day.

"Fine." Bruce turned the car around while mentally saying goodbye to the glass of scotch he had been planning on enjoying.

Tim meanwhile had taken out his phone and started texting.

 _Tim: Bruce looks like he's had a bad day._

 _Dick: Lucius called...Lex showed up unexpectedly and had a meeting with Bruce_

 _Dick: Wish I had been there for him D:_

 _Tim: Sometimes I swear you two are a couple_

 _Dick: !#%$ ^ &*#% What!_

Tim decided that it was probably best not to answer that and let Dick freak out about it. Any minute, Jason and Damian, and perhaps even Bruce would be getting a text asking for some sort of explanation. Besides, Dick had replaced all his coffee with decaf the month before, and revenge was sweet.

Surely enough four minutes later, Jason burst out laughing. "Anyone know why Dick is suddenly worried that people think that he and Bruce are some sort of couple?"

Bruce nearly swerved them into oncoming traffic. "What!"

Tim shrugged as they pulled up in front of the library. "The man replaced my coffee. He had it coming."

* * *

Walking in the library, Tim allowed himself to be distracted. Dick had told them that he would text them when the preparations were complete, so until then, they had time to kill. Tim usually prefered ebooks as he could get them whenever he wanted and did not need to return them, but that did not mean that he did not enjoy the library.

Walking around slowly, Tim noticed Bruce's pointed glare and shuffled to the front desk. "Hi. My name's Tim Drake and I was asked by my teacher Ms. Decraw to request thirty copies of _The Things They Carried_ by Tim O'Brien."

The librarian typed something quickly in her computer before saying, "Done!"

Tim looked around quickly before leaning forward on the desk so that he was closer to the librarian. "Look. We have a surprise at home for my dad, and we're supposed to keep him out of the house. I need this to take longer."

The librarian shrugged. "Tell him your coffee addiction needs to be fed and take him to the kiosque outside. That thing always has a line at least thirty deep. The coffees amazing though."

Tim gave her a bright smile before stumbling off to find Bruce. "I need coffee. Now. Before I die a tragic young death."

Bruce sighed and pinched his nose. "We're going home. You can ask Alfred to make you some."

Tim did not know how to dispute that statement without revealing the secret. Luckily, Jason came to his aid. "Really Bruce. You're that cheap that you can't even buy your kid a cup of joe. Besides how will you explain that one to CPS? 'Sorry, Tim dies because I refused to feed his caffeine addiction.' That will certainly go over well."

"Fine. We'll go and get your coffee. Then we go home." Tim smiled happily, but could not help but feel bad for the poor man. He was going to have to go to the pet store too.

Standing in line was not Tim's idea of a good time. True to the librarian's word, the line consisted of thirty-three people, and of those people, Bruce was probably the least happy. Tim almost wanted to give in and allow the man to return home. But, a tired and grumpy Bruce was not worth the wrath of his three brothers and their butler if he ruined the surprise.

Finally they reached the front of the line and received three coffees and a hot chocolate for Damian. The coffee was better than the one Alfred created, and Tim decided that this would be his new hang out.

As they slowly drove back to the manor, Damian spoke up. "Father. I wish to complete an errand before we arrive home."

"No. Absolutely not. Do it tomorrow with Dick or Alfred." Bruce's tone was harsh, but Damian could make out the stress and fatigue in his tone.

"Father. Alfred the cat requires nutrition and kitty litter. He is also quite bored and requires toys. Grayson has requested that I stop allowing Alfred to play with Todd's homework and with Drake's shoes."

"Wait. You allowed the cat to tear up my homework! I thought that the cat was being a cat, but you encouraged it!" Jason yelled from the front seat, desperately trying to turn around so that he could strangle his youngest brother.

"Fine! Last stop make it quick!" Bruce growled as he pulled into the shopping outlet where the pet store was located.

* * *

Damian browsed the cat toys with interest. Father had grabbed the food and litter that he usually bought, so he could not delay their departure on those fronts. However, there were many different kinds of cat toys, and Damian took delight in reading the labels that described how to play with toy in the most enjoyable way.

His father on the other hand looked like he had constipation. When his Father left him in order to find the other idiots that Grayson insisted that he call brothers, he took out his phone and texted Grayson a photo of the kitty toys.

 _Damian: Which of these do you think Alfred the cat would enjoy the most?_

 _Grayson: I really don't know. Maybe he'd like something he could scratch_

 _Grayson: He seems to enjoy shredding Jason's homework and Tim's shoes_

 _Damian: That is an adequate idea_

 _Grayson: Buy whatever you want and come home...we're ready for you!_

 _Grayson: You think Dad will like it?_

 _Damian: I'm sure he will enjoy it. You are lovers after all._

 _Grayson: $ %% &*^&(!# HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO TIM! THAT'S NOT TRUE! ME AND BRUCE HAVE NEVER BEEN SEXUAL PARTNERS AND NEVER WILL! _

_Damian: I know. Drake suggested that messing with you was entertaining. For once that fool was correct._

 _Grayson: …._

 _Grayson: Just come home._

Damian pocketed his phone just in time to see Bruce dragging Tim and Jason behind him. "Father. I wish to get this scratching post and these toys for Alfred the cat. Please purchase them so that we can return home."

Bruce sighed before loading the shopping cart and bringing it over to check-out. "That is definitely the best thing I've heard all day Damian. Let's hurry before your brothers come up with something else to do."

* * *

Tim felt unusually giddy as Bruce tried to open the front door. He couldn't wait to see the look on Bruce's face when he saw what was waiting for him. When the door opened they were met by an empty room. The brothers looked at each other in surprise before calling out for Dick.

"I'm in the Den. Hey Dad! Me and Alfred could use a hand in here!" Dick yelled. Bruce sighed and kicked off his shoes before making his way to the Den with the three boys trailing behind him.

When he entered, he was met with confetti being thrown in his face and the faces of every Justice League member that knew his secret identity and he considered a friend. Looking around the room, he noticed all the streamers and balloons hanging as well as a large banner that read: HAPPY ADOPTION DAY, BRUCE!

Bruce looked around feeling overwhelmed when his eldest bounded over to him and gave him one of his patented hugs. "Are you surprised Dad? We worked really hard to keep you out of the loop. Not to mention the boys had to distract you all evening. I wanted to help too, but Alfred said that this was my idea so I had to help set up. That and I was organizing everyone's arrival. I was really worried that you would notice. It took everything I had to not rush over and help you with Luthor when Lucius texted me about his untimely arrival in Gotham."

Bruce looked around the room at all the smiling faces, and the only thing he was able to come up with was "huh."

Jason slung an arm casually around Bruce's shoulders. "Today is National Adoption Day. And while most people celebrate it my adopted someone, we figured we'd throw you a party because you adopted three kids and that's more than enough. Dick insisted that we throw you a surprise party so we had to delay our arrival home until they were ready. Be thankful. I don't purposely get a detention for just anyone Old Man."

"Wait. Alfred and Dick don't go shopping with you three everyday after school?"

"Master Bruce. If I did that, I would have handed you my resignation long ago. Now enjoy the party the young masters worked so hard to get ready for you. Your friends are waiting." Alfred handed him a glass of scotch before walking away. The man was a mind reader.

As he mingled with all the people Dick had managed to convince to come, Bruce felt a burning feeling of pride in his chest. His sons had gone through all that trouble to surprise him for a holiday he wasn't aware even existed. Not only that, but according to a phone call Dick received, Damian had been nice and _polite_ to his teacher in order to get the idea to go to the pet store. And Jason had worked extra hard to get a detention, even though Bruce was certain that the boy was more than happy to be given permission to be rude to his teacher.

Despite his earlier irritation and fatigue, Bruce decided that he would deal with Lex Luthor every day if it meant that he could get a surprise like this every year.

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 **A/N: Tada! I tried to focus on the other batbros besides Dick because my stories usually revolve around him. Let me know what you think, I really enjoy reviews! And thanks for all the wonderful reviews...**

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 **To the _Guest_ who told me to write longer stories...I would love too, but a little help with a prompt idea would be appreciated...I did eight parts to the _To Be Three Again_ but its kind of hard to come up with ideas that are not completely overused. \**

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 **Which would you prefer to see next...**

 **Family Vacation**

 **Prank Wars**

 **Damian's First Crush**

 **OR**

 **Batbros hear rude comments about Dick Grayson**


	20. Jason's Wise Words (Insults part 1)

**Jason's Wise Words**

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 **Rated T for Jason's mouth**

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Jason shifted in the stifling tux. Bruce had told them that someone had to attend Mr. Perpleplum's societal party. All four boys entered an intense game of rock paper scissors before Jason was declared the ultimate loser and forced to attend while his brothers swung from rooftops.

Jason grabbed another glass of champagne, glad that nobody was paying attention to him, and therefore telling him that he was underage. Sipping at the champagne, he wished it was stronger so that he could ignore all the fake laughs and pretend interest that was exuded in the people around him.

Hearing uproarious laughter coming from the person next to him, Jason angled himself so that he could listen to his conversation without being caught.

"And then my daughter went on a date with that filth! I told on no uncertain terms that she should not lower herself to that level despite who may of adopted him. Everyone knows that Bruce just felt sympathetic for that pathetic whelp. He doesn't belong, and he never will. Good riddance that he didn't show up tonight. This is a party for _high_ society not circus rats."

The man and his friends started laughing again, and Jason felt white hot fury curling through his belly. Nobody talked to Dick like that except for him. And he only got to talk like that if he was joking! Jason decided it was time for him to go before he beat that piece of shit into a bloody pulp. As he walked by, he used his training to whisper in the man's ear, "Karma's a bitch" before disappearing in the crowd.

When he arrived home, he went straight to the Batcave and started researching. He found out the man was named Karl Meyer. Researching further he found that the man was known for speaking his mind about the separation of classes.

Narrowing his eyes, Jason started to plot his revenge. There was no way he would ever allow words of that nature be spoken about his brother. He didn't care if he would be called sentimental. In no world was people talking about Dick like that an acceptable outcome to him.

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Karl Meyer was having the day from hell. He had awoken by the an exploding water pipe that had ruined his expensive loft and then he found that all his clothes had holes in them. Then he found that when he went to his lofty job at Wayne Enterprises that he had a meeting scheduled with one of the Wayne boys.

Karl did not believe that they deserved their jobs. He had worked hard to become an executive, but the Wayne boys were heads of their departments. Tim Drake was head of the R&D department, Jason Todd was in charge of Public Relations, and Richard Grayson was in charge of negotiation. Bruce had always done negotiation, but apparently Richard was some sort of negotiation prodigy.

Karl hated that they all had high jobs which he believed that were only given to him because of who their father was. He really didn't care that the other executives swore up and down that they were the best department heads that they had ever seen and that they improved the company tenfold. He decided that the fools were sucking up instead of speaking their minds.

Glancing down at his email again, Karl noticed that it was Jason Todd who was asking for his presence. He growled under his breath. He wanted nothing to do with the street urchin but he supposed that it was better than the circus rat.

Shuffling to Jason's office, he tried to delay his arrival. The man was in charge of Public Relations, which meant that he was in charge of interacting with the lower class. He did not want to have to talk to the poor and he had a feeling that that's what Jason would make him do.

Entering Jason's office, Karl watched as the teen sent him a lazy smirk before leaning back in his office chair, placing his combat boots on the desk in front of him. "Mr. Meyer. I've been waiting for you. You see, this company requires its high ranking employees to volunteer. It's part of your contract. Bruce and I agreed that the executives make more that enough money to volunteer one day a month to the community. Problem is, you seem to have never done that. Care to explain."

Karl swallowed nervously as he watched Jason pick up a stress ball and toss it lazily between his hands. Somehow that innocent action gave off lethal intent and Jason's smirk no longer seemed lazy but rather predatory. "Mr. Todd. I do not believe in the interaction between social classes. I have donated a substantial amount to the Wayne Foundation, and I do believe that that is enough for me to be excluded from the ridiculous notion that I must volunteer my time with Gotham's poor."

Jason sat up slowly eyes narrowed dangerously. "I'm sorry you feel that way. However as it is a requirement in your contract you have two options. Either you do the community service project that I have in this folder, which would make up for all the time that you have missed, or, you're fired."

Karl spluttered indignantly. "You do not have the power to do that! You're overstepping your bounds here Mr. Todd."

Jason raised an eyebrow slowly before picking up his office phone and dialing a well rehearsed number. Placing the phone on speaker, he watched Karl with a smirk on his face. "Bruce Wayne speaking."

"Hey Old Man. Still on for lunch?" Jason asked casually. Karl could feel sweat beading on his forehead, and he had no doubt that Jason had noticed and was taking pleasure in it.

Bruce sighed audibly before there was a shuffling noise and he said, "If that's what you really wanted, you would have texted me or one of your brothers. What's the problem?"

Karl could tell that Jason was playing games with him when he said, "Nothing much, but you see, I was just reviewing volunteer log hours when I found out that Karl Meyer has never completed a single hour of community service in the ten years that he has been in his executive position. I was just wondering what I should do. He told me that community service was beneath him when I offered him a job that I believe would knock out all those hours."

There was another sigh on the other end of the line. "Jason, I got to go. I have a meeting and Dick's trying to pantomime a message to me. Just fire the man. He went against his contract."

Bruce hung up and Jason turned to face him. Karl knew that he was pale and sweating and that Jason was probably enjoying his panic. "What's it gonna be Mr. Meyer? The door, or the file?"

Karl grabbed the file out of Jason's hand and started to read over it, paling as he did so. Jason suppressed a grin before saying, "Karma's a bitch, huh?"

There was nothing that Karl could do other than to nod. Karma was definitely a bitch.

 **###**

Jason could hardly contain his glee as he dragged his family to the carnival that the Wayne Foundation had set up. Admission was free, but games costed a dollar each. Jason had gone to all the local orphanages and handed out tickets to the kids so that they could each play ten games for free.

Dick followed behind Jason laughing. "I get why I'm so excited, but why are you? Normally you don't like this kind of scene, even if you did help set it up."

Dick didn't know it, but the answer to Jason's glee walked right up to them, making balloon animals and in a clown costume. Jason tried to suppress his grin as he said, "Hello Mr. Meyer. How's the clown life treating you?"

The clown smiled a fake smile before saying, "My name's Chuckles and I wanna be your best friend!"

Jason smirked. "Might just take you up on that Chuckles. Five more days as a clown before you can return to being a business executive. Remember, you still have to volunteer once a month."

Jason walked away smirking as the clown turned an interesting color. The white face paint made it hard to tell, but the areas around his eyes were bright red.

Dick jogged to catch up with him and looked at him oddly. Dick was probably trying to figure out what the man did to offend Jason, but there was no way in hell that he was going to volunteer that information, so he just kept walking with a smile etched onto his face. Karma certainly was a bitch when he was in charge of distributing it.

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 **A/N: This is part 1 of 3 or 4. Let you know when I figure that out exactly. I am so happy with all the amazing reviews that you guys submitted! Please continue to do so, it makes my day. I don't want to be one of those people who says something like _I will only post a new chapter if I get _ reviews._ But I do really appreciate getting them, so if you have time, or liked something, or want to correct my grammar, please review. **


	21. Tim's Tech Savviness (Insults part 2)

**Tim's Tech Savviness**

Tim watched with mild disinterest as he attended one of the Wayne Foundation Charity Balls. He was the representative this time, as the Foundation's goal was to raise money for school science fair scholarship prizes in the Gotham slums. The idea was designed to give kids hope that they would not end up becoming some villain's henchmen.

Tim was chosen to speak at the event as he was the head of R&D and therefore, hopefully the one who could relate best to the inspiring scientists. Tim didn't personally agree, but there was no way he'd tell his brothers that. They had all but pushed him out the door and Tim knew that they were glad that they were not the one chosen to go to the event.

Tim frowned as he heard a few women giggle near him. They were obviously gossiping, so Tim decided to walk away. He really didn't want to hear about whatever poor S.O.B. they were talking about.

As he went to refill his glass of apple cider (nonalcoholic of course) he heard them say his brother's name, and paused to listen.

"And poor Richard was obviously flirting with me, but I would never lower myself to the level needed to actually be with him. The man thinks he takes after his adopted daddy, but I could never understand how anyone actually sleeps with him. Aren't they worried that they'll get some sort of disease? I mean a circus can't be sanitary."

"I know. Not to mention how he just doesn't belong in high society. Can you imagine the embarrassment of being caught out with him?"

"I heard he's a freak. Into some real creepy stuff in bed. Wonder if he learned that from his gypsy parents?"

Tim walked away, the plastic cup broken in his hand. There was no way he'd allow those girls to get away with that. They'd never know what hit them. Quickly snapping their photos, he ran their faces through the facial recognition software. Everyone was required to have a badge to attend, so the process was fairly quick.

Smirking to himself he looked down at their names. Elsa Cummings, Anita Kovacs, and Katerina Lavona. Tim smirk widened as he began to hack the manor security cameras. He couldn't wait to see their faces.

If anyone was paying attention to the young head of R&D they would've noticed that he was grinning like a maniac as he furiously typed something on his phone. They would have noticed when he started giggling to himself before pocketing his phone. And they would have noticed that he walked towards the projector with lethal intent.

 **###**

Elsa flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. Her and her friends continued to gossip over Richard Grayson and his patheticness. Elsa would never admit it to the girls, but she had propositioned him once, and he had turned her down! The nerve. She was from a well bred family, and he thought that he could do better than her.

Elsa delicately took a sip of her wine. If a circus rat was stupid enough to think that he could do better than her, than she could live without him. Even if he was the best looking man she'd ever seen. Or that gossip said that he was amazing in bed. It certainly didn't matter to her.

Elsa may not have cared, but she made sure that nobody would be willing to date him for a long time. She spread nasty rumors and tried to tarnish his reputation. It annoyed her that Bruce Wayne had yet to kick the boy out despite the rumors going around saying that Richard Grayson abused his brothers.

Speaking of brothers, Elsa remembered that there was one of them attending this party. Maybe she could get him to collaborate her story. All it would take was offering the teenage boy something he'd never been offered before. It was surprisingly easy to manipulate boys.

Flipping her hair again, Elsa subtly rolled her eyes at Anita and Katerina's behavior. They were obviously trying to flirt with boys and they came off as desperate whores. Normally she would never sink herself to their level, but she needed people to lord over. People who would admire her beauty and wealth.

Looking around, she tried to spot the Wayne brat. If she remembered correctly, he was the genius, and the only adopted one that was born into high society. Nerd types were so easy to seduce.

She finally spotted him getting a microphone clipped onto the lapel of his suit jacket. By sime stroke of luck, they made eye contact, and Elsa gave him her best flirty yet seductive smile. To her surprise, he didn't rush over to her but instead rolled his eyes before climbing onto the stage.

Before he began to speak, he sent her a quick smirk, but there was something in his eyes that made her stomach curl. He knew something she didn't, and for some reason that fave Elsa a bad feeling. Her friends must of thought so too as they immediately stopped giggling and started shifting from foot to foot nervously.

For once in her twenty two years of life, Elsa actually paid attention to the speech being given. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was important that she did. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Let me extend a warm welcome from the Wayne Foundation, and from the Department of Research and Development. We are honored that you will be helping us develop the scientists of tomorrow. As many of you know, my name is Tim Drake. And I'm going to share with you a quick video that was put together by the Head of Public Relations."

Elsa watched in growing horror as the video played. Instead of seeing cute but disgustingly dirty kids saying thank you and how they dream of creating rocketships, she saw herself and her friends talking about Dick Grayson. Then the clip cut to her flirting with him and being denied. The film cut again and showed a picture of Anita doing the walk of shame. Again the film cut and this time it was a video of Katerina dancing provocatively with him at a club.

The video cut off leaving everyone in shock. Tim was profusely apologizing to the audience and demanding the tech guy check for hacks. Elsa felt numb, and it was obvious her friends felt the same way. All the images were shot from an angle that suggested that they were security cameras.

Finally the tech guy yelled out, "Tim we've been hacked, but the hacker just erased the other video and placed this file over it. Nothing was stolen, looks like a hacktivist. Nothing is damaged, we can play the original video if you'd like."

Tim pursed his lips. "Let's play it. We didn't come here tonight to learn that there were hypocrites among us or to embarrass anyone. Though I'm sure, whoever has been spreading those nasty rumors about my brother will stop now. Looks like everything was consensual to me."

Elsa flushed, and she knew her face was an ugly shade of purple. Tim Drake sent her one last smirk, and Elsa knew that he had known something like that would happen. She deflated, there was no way to prove it, and Tim had seemed just as flustered as the rest of them when that video had popped up.

Turning to her friends she frowned, and angrily demanded, "What do you have that I don't!"

Anita and Katerina looked shocked at her question. Katerina blinked before placing her hands on her narrow hips. "We were nice. Richard doesn't like mean or fake people, and you're both Elsa Cummings." She pursed her lips before she seemed to come to a decision. "Come on Anita, let's go. Elsa never treated us like a friend anyways."

Elsa watched as both girls marched off, and felt like screaming. She was Elsa Cummings! She got whatever she wanted, and she certainly didn't get turned down, laughed at, and dumped by her so called friends.

Mustering as much dignity as she could, Elsa marched out of the event, and into the cool night.

 **###**

Tim smirked as he drank his coffee. Last night's debatical had made it into the morning paper. He had wanted to frame the sentence saying that Elsa Cummings was behind all the recent controversial on Richard Grayson, and that it appeared that she was angry that she was rejected.

Bruce sat down next to him and raised one eyebrow. Tim knew that the man was waiting for an explanation, but he didn't really have one. He had heard what they were saying about Dick, the only one of them that wasn't so jilted by life that he was able nice to literally everyone. It didn't matter if they had wronged him in the past or not. The only time Dick Grayson was ever mean was when he was protecting his family. Tim figured that it was time to return the favor.

Shrugging his shoulders, Tim took another sip of his coffee, maintaining eye contact with Bruce. "She deserved it."

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 **A/N: Sorry to anyone who finds offense in those names. Literally the first ones I thought of. They all end in the letter 'a' does that say something about me?**

 **Anyways, that's part 2 of 4. Hope you liked it. Gotta say, its hard writing about someone who doesn't love the bat bros. Probably because I'm an obsessed fan.**

 **Let me know what YOU think about my high society villains by leaving a review. Happy reading!**


	22. Damian's PE Matchup (Insults part 3)

**Damian's PE Matchup**

Damian was bored. There was no other way to describe it. Ever since Grayson made him promise to be polite to the teacher, school had not been very entertaining. As a representative of the House of Wayne, he had to keep his promises. It certainly was not because he found Grayson pitiful when he pouted. Or because Grayson gave him a hug afterwards.

Even though Damian was not nearly as volatile as he had been in the beginning of the school year, kids still avoided him. Damian pretended that he didn't care, but it would have been nice to have a companion in the sea of idiots.

Grayson had been kind enough to get him an iPod, so as Damian sat through another lunch period alone, he placed the buds in his ears. Before he was able to turn on the music, the boys in the table behind him started to talk loudly. Damian recognized one of the boys as Mark Ripley who was in his physical education class.

"My dad says Richard Grayson is nothing but a dirty gypsy. He probably used some sort of voodoo magic on Mr. Wayne to make him adopt him." The rest of the boys laughed cruelly, but Damian noted that they did not add anything to the conversation. It appeared Ripley's followers were not as loyal to him as he believed. As for his preposterous talk about Grayson, Damian would have to take care of that during physical education. Ripley would never know what hit him. Literally.

 **###**

Mark changed into his P.E. uniform confidently. He may only be in the fifth grade, but he was fairly ripped for his age. More importantly, he was good looking and popular. The only one that could possibly compete with him in the looks department was Damian Wayne, but that kid was all kinds of messed up. Just like the rest of his family.

Another thing that bothered him, was that the kid was muscular. The problem was that he refused to participate in P.E. In fact, unless the teacher forced him to do something, Damian sat on the bleachers observing everyone else.

Mark couldn't say why that bothered him so much, Maybe it was because he couldn't grind the kid into an oblivion while they were on their wrestling unit. Or maybe it was because Damian watched like he was dissecting their every movement and determining how he would take them down.

Mark didn't think it was likely that Damian could take him down. He was a second degree black belt in karate, and while it was the wrestling unit, the teacher didn't care if they used other forms of martial arts.

The teacher had even tried to get Damian to participate in the beginners circle with a group that consisted of mainly girls, but Damian had insisted that he knew all the self-defense he'd ever need. He had said it in that snotty tone that made Mark want to smash the kid's face into the concrete. It didn't matter who the kid's father was, he had no right to speak that way. His father had told him that Damian's family was a bunch of no good low class trash. Especially the oldest. The man was a gypsy! At least the other kids Bruce Wayne had picked up were from Gotham!

When the teacher had called home, Bruce Wayne had laughed! He had told the teacher that it was probably for the best that Damian refused to participate. Mark personally knew this because the coach was friends with his dad, and his dad had ranted about it during dinner.

Mark stormed into the gym only to find that Damian was stretching on the mats. For a moment Mark found himself almost unnerved by how natural the movements were. It was obvious that Damian performed those stretches constantly.

Stealing his nerves, Mark walked over to the boy, an easy smirk on his face. "Sup loser. Daddy tell you you have to participate today?"

Damian made no move to show that he had been listening. Mark grew frustrated and grabbed the front of the boys shirt, yanking him closer. "I said…"

"Ttt. Metropolis heard what you said idiot. I chose to ignore it because I only understand intelligent conversation. Seeing as you parot your father's opinions instead of formulating your own, I really shouldn't be surprised."

It took Mark a moment to process what Damian had said. "Why I otta…"

Damian raised his eyebrows as if daring Mark to finish that statement. That is of course, when the teacher came running to them and separated them forcefully. "Either take it out on the mats, or not at all."

Mark raised a cocky eyebrow. "Think you can handle all this?" He gestured at his body and struck a pose flaunting a pose.

"Ttt. I live with Grayson. If I can handle him, what makes you think you have a chance?"

Mark felt the anger rising within him. How dare that brat imply that some dirty gypsy was better than him That the gypsy might be more attractive than him.

Mark narrowed his eyes and walked to the mats with Damian following two steps behind him. The whole gym was quiet and everyone was watching Damian carefully. Mark knew exactly why, he had beaten everyone in the class by a lot, and yet the kid who never participated thought he had a shot?

Mark got in the ready position and waited for the coach to blow his whistle to signal the start of the fight. He scanned Damian's form and momentarily panicked when he didn't recognize it. It was completely unusual, yet Damian seemed totally at ease. Looking into his eyes, Mark suddenly felt terrified. These were the eyes of a trained warrior. For the first time, Mark was afraid that he would not win.

As soon as the whistle blew, Mark launched himself at Damian hoping to catch him by surprise. Unfortunately, Damian seemed to be expecting this and simply side stepped. They began an elaborate dance of punches and kicks, where Mark would try and strike, and Damian would evade it. Eventually, Damian got bored, and started to kick, and punch faster than Mark could block.

Everyone in the gym seemed shocked, judging from their gasps. Mark was the only one that new the truth though. Damian was just toying with him. Waiting for Mark to tire so that he could begin his real attack.

Mark gathered his energy and focus and threw one last hard punch. Damian caught his outstretched arm between his bicep and his forearm and slammed his other elbow hard into Mark's jaw. Mark saw a bright burst of color before everything faded into darkness.

 **###**

Damian sat proudly in the headmaster's office. Or at least the front reception. After knocking Mark out, the coach forced him to bring the delirious boy to the nurse's office before going to see the headmaster.

Damian had dragged Mark over to the nurse, and when she momentarily left to grab ice, Damian had grabbed Mark's jaw and forced the boy to look at him. "Family is made up of more than shared blood. We get to chose our family, we don't get to chose who we're related to. Do me a favor. Don't mess with my family, and I won't mess with yours. I do believe Wayne Corp is doing a business deal with your father's company, it would be a shame if that fell through."

The nurse returned then, and kindly told Damian he could leave. Damian had marched right into the headmaster's office with his head held high. When he asked why Damian had done it, Damian channeled all the acting lessons that Alfred had bestowed upon him and said, "Father had us learn Krav Maga in case of a kidnapping attempt. I've been kidnapped before you see, and when Ripley came at me like that it felt so real. I think I had a flashback, cause next thing I knew, he was on the ground." Damian hated that he could not hold his head up in victory, but if it meant appeasing Grayson and Father, he could pretend to be ashamed.

One hour later, Damian was still waiting to be picked up when Jason strolled in. When he saw Damian he smirked. "That kid with the bruised jaw you're doing kid?"

Damian debated whether or not to answer before deciding that he would probably need an ally against Father's upcoming lecture. "He was saying unflattering things about Grayson. I made him stop."

Jason raised one eyebrow before grinning and shaking his head. He didn't say anything, but he offered his fist in a silent invitation. Damian considered it for a moment before tapping his own fist against his brother's. A silent message was conveyed not to tell Grayson what the fight was about.

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 **A/N: I was planning just to do one more (Bruce) but know I'm thinking I should do two more, Bruce and Alfred. Thoughts?**

 **As for those who are glad yet curious as to why I'm updating so fast...I've had the idea in mind for a while, and I'm currently on bed rest again, so I have nothing but time to update my stories. The last few weeks, I was feeling better, so I was told to do things while I still felt good, hence the _stay away from the internet, that's all you can do when your sick_ mentality my parents developed. **

**As always, please review! And check out my other stories! Happy reading!**


	23. Bruce's Speech (Insults part 4)

**Bruce's Speech**

The Wayne Charity Police Banquet was going well. The donations were already in the millions, which was amazing considering that high society tended to dislike Jim Gordon. Bruce hoped that there would be more donations as the night went on and the socialites got more and more drunk.

He knew that he needed to act drunk in order to blend in with the crowd. Bruce personally did not drink much in these events because there was always the possibility of Penguin or Joker showing up. He needed to keep his mind sharp in order to be ready for any danger that Gotham threw at him.

Swirling his glass of red wine, Bruce surveyed the crowd. As always, he was expected to give a speech, but he hadn't had time to write one because two out of three sons had been sent home from school due to various reason. Damian for fighting and Jason for lewd language towards the teacher. He couldn't say he was that surprised.

Glancing around, he decided to go mingle. As he walked by, conversations seemed to pause, and Bruce knew that they were talking about him. He ignored that, seeing as they were probably talking about the newest woman that they had seen on his arm. The fact of the matter was, that he didn't have a newest woman, but a poor lady had fallen, and the paparazzi had captured the moment perfectly. The photo looked like Bruce was sweeping the woman off her feet, instead of catching a falling stranger.

Seeing Jim Gordon hiding in a corner, Bruce joined him. The two men stood in companionable silence until it was interrupted by the loud voice of a drunken stranger. "Please. Brucie isn't craving sex like the papers say. Everyone knows that he only adopted the first brat as a sex toy. I mean why else would he? There's nothing else the brat would be good for. And do you see how well kept and flirtatious the boy is, yet he never takes anyone home? That's obviously a cover, so that nobody realizes what's Brucie's doing with him. It's disgusting I tell you!"

Bruce noticed Jim frowning out of the corner of his eye, but ignored him. He was trying to figure out where he knew the man from. Suddenly it dawned on him. His name was Matthew Yardley, and he was a high ranking official of Lex Corp, and someone who Bruce had not invited to the party. Bruce narrowed his eyes. There was nothing he could do now, but he suddenly knew what his speech was going to be about.

 **###**

Matthew Yardley smirked at the drunk Gotham socialites. He had been let into the party without and problems despite the fact that he did not have an invitation. He had been asked by the higher ups to damage Bruce Wayne's stellar reputation as a do-gooder after the man had declined helping Lex Corp make a weapon of mass destruction.

He used rumors that had been circulating around Gotham for years about Bruce's alleged sexual relationship with Richard Grayson, the boy he had adopted out of the blue. Soon, it was the talk of the party, and people were sneering at Bruce, even though he was probably a better parent than they'd ever be. Matthew felt really, really proud of himself, especially because that idiot Bruce Wayne had not caught on.

At that moment the room silenced and Matthew turned around to watch as Bruce Wayne climbed the stairs onto the stage and stand in front the mike, the wine in his hand long gone. Matthew frowned as he watched Bruce give the audience a large smile before beginning his speech. "Esteemed ladies and gentlemen. I am so glad that you all came out to support the Gotham PD tonight, because when we do, we help our men and women in uniform do their jobs. You may ask what their jobs entail, and to be honest, I'm probably not the best person to answer that." He paused as the crowd let out a small chuckle. "But I will tell you their most important job. You may think that it's stopping the villains that have made their home here, you may even think it's putting an end to Batman. But the most important job that we can entrust on the GCPD is protecting our families."

Matthew looked up from his drink when he heard that, only to find Bruce Wayne staring right at him. Matthew got the feeling that Bruce wasn't as much of an idiot as he had pegged him for.

"Tonight we remember the families we have made for ourselves. We remember our best friends, our neighbors, our lovers, and our children, because family is not just who we are related to, but who we chose to dedicate time to and love. I, myself lost my family at a very young age, and did not find family again until I saw a little boy watch the murder of his parents, just like I had all those years ago. So I did something completely out of character. I gave that boy a home. In return, he gave me a family and showed me that there were other people waiting for me to let them be family too. For example, my butler, who raised me after my parents' death. Or my CFO who stood by me even when I made unpopular decisions.

"As the years went by, my family has grown. I now have four sons, and many friends who I'd do anything for. The point of this speech is not to brag about anything, but rather to prove that family transcends blood, race, religion, social class, and whatever else you can think of. Family is family, and the Gotham City Police Department strives to protect everyone's family. Even if they find someone narrow minded or difficult. Even if that person is stirring up trouble, or is not a citizen of Gotham. The GCPD will be there to protect you, and they have your donations to thank for that ability. So please, continue to enjoy the free food and drinks and make your checking accounts a little lighter."

Matthew clapped nervously. The last part of the speech was obviously directed at him. He wasn't sure how Bruce Wayne recognized that he was not in fact invited, or that he was the one spreading the rumors around, but he had. Matthew was beginning to think taking this assignment to impress the higher ups was a bad idea.

Matthew tried to pay attention to the conversation that the group he was standing with was having, but he felt someone brush up behind him and say, "Family is family. I would never do anything to harm mine. Would you? Personally I think that you'll find that I will go through great lengths to protect it." When he looked up, he saw that Bruce Wayne had just rejoined the Commissioner, and he knew without a doubt that Bruce was the one who had whispered that ominous sentence.

 **###**

Matthew Yardley arrived to work late the next morning. He had thought all night about what the worse possible thing Bruce Wayne could do to him was, and decided that the man could only tarnish his could live with that, despite the hassle that the higher ups might give him.

What actually happened was so much worse. A kid ran into his office and proudly said, "You've been summoned!" before running out of the office again. After calling his lawyer he found out that he was being brought up against charges of defamation of character and trespassing.

His lawyer recommended that he settle with Bruce Wayne because there was "No way you'll win against his army of top-notch lawyers that cost more in an hour than you make in a month." That and there was some pretty damning evidence. There were cameras equipped with microphone everywhere in the banquet hall and they had picked up everything that he'd been saying. And if that wasn't damning enough, the police commissioner himself heard what he had said, and was ready to testify against him.

As soon as the higher ups caught wind of the situation, they fired him because he was too much of a liability to the company. If Bruce Wayne found out that his behavior was requested by company executives, his top-notch lawyers would be knocking on their doors next.

Bruce Wayne did up settling with him. To his surprise, the man only required that he give a public apology for his behavior and the event, and to do two hundred hours of community service. And while that was a lot of time, it was much more preferable than losing all his money and belongings. Unfortunately, it also meant that he'd be working for Bruce Wayne's other son, Jason Todd, who looked all too pleased to have a new minion to direct.

On the bright side, the volunteering came with a job working in the Public Relations Department of Wayne Corp. He didn't make nearly as much money because he was a bottom feeder, but he found himself enjoying the days spent in orphanages reading to children.

A few months later, he met Dick Grayson, and the boy was nothing like how he expected. He knew nothing about what his father had done for him, and he was the most charming and likeable guy that Matthew had ever met.

Even though his life was completely different from what it had been a few short months beforehand, Matthew was happy with his new life and the course he had set for himself. He was definitely glad he had been forced to make the switch to Wayne Corp.

 **###**

Bruce sat back in his home office smirking. Matthew Yardley may think that his plan had been to humiliate him or take away his fortune, but that was simply not the case. From the moment that he had first heard Matthew's words about Dick, they had entered a chess game. One that he was not aware he was playing, and one that Bruce was a master at. Bruce had manipulated his speech, the court summons, the job loss, and the settlement to make Matthew Yardley a Richard Grayson supporter.

Bruce knew that Dick Grayson could win everyone over if he had the chance, so he had manipulated the game until Dick was able to deliver the check mate. The poor man probably didn't understand that Bruce had planned everything that would happen from the moment he had spoken those words.

Alfred walked into the room and set a cup of coffee down in front of Bruce. "I do wish you wouldn't look so smug Sir. Just because you were able to manipulate one man's future, does not mean that you should."

Bruce blinked in shock. "How'd you…"

Alfred snorted softly. "Master Bruce, as you so eloquently put it, we are family. I've known you since you were in diapers, and I do recognize subterfuge when I see it."

Bruce spluttered slightly before he managed to get out, "But it was…"

Alfred cut him off again. "For Master Dick, I know. That's the only reason that you aren't being lectured right now. That, and I'm too tired to lecture the boys too. It seems that the four of you have developed quite the protective streak."

With that, Alfred left the room, leaving a dazed and confused Bruce. The boys had developed a streak too? He knew what Tim had done, but Alfred had implied that Jason and Damian had also done something to protect Dick. He decided to look further into it later. For now, he had to prepare notes for what he was going to say at the quarterly earnings report.

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 **A/N: First of all...I just wanted to say that this story is officially longer than 100 pages (105 pages technically)!**

 **Second...thank you _princess0bunny_ for the idea to be a business man, and the scandalous rumors between Bruce and Dick. Personally, I'm not a fan of fics where they are a couple because I never saw their relationship that way, but to the people who do, more power to you. **

**.**

 **Thank you loyal fans...one more chapter and then I'll do a new prompt...any requests? This is my official list:**

Prank wars

normalizing Damian (school) (arcade) (park) (ice cream)

Xmas

Valentine's Day

Father's Day

Alfred's Bday

Break ups (minishots how each of them went through bad breakup w/ help from bros)

Bruce be emotionally incompetent

Dick's amazing persuasive power

Damian, tim, jason get sick…..dick gets sick after taking care of them

Damian's first crush Zatannagurl

Disneyland trip help Dick smile dragoscilvio

 **Please ignore any and all typos. (Italicized part is who suggested it, the ones without were my ideas)**

 **If you have something not on the list, please share, I take all suggestions.**

 **Let me know what you think, and happy reading!**


	24. Alfred's Faux Pas (Insults part 5)

**Alfred's Faux Pas**

Alfred surveyed the party dutifully. He was in charge of catering at the event that the Wayne Foundation was throwing to raise money for the orphanages. Unfortunately, Master Bruce and all the Young Masters were away on business in Australia, working together with the Flash Clan to capture Captain Boomerang and the Joker who had stuck up an unlikely partnership.

Master Bruce had left a video of his speech, and had asked Alfred to supervise the event. Alfred felt that it was his duty to make sure that every detail was perfect and suitable to live up to the Wayne name. This of course was very tiring but he attended his duty gleefully. James Pimplebottom the Third, a rival butler, could hardly claim that his master allowed him to be in charge of such a prestigious event. That coupled with the fact that Alfred earned more, was more respected by his masters, and worked for a wealthier family,made him think that he would beat James Pimplebottom the Third at the Butler Convention this coming January.

Giving the scene one last look, Alfred picked up a tray of cake slices from the catering cart and started walking towards the center table. As he stopped to allow a young caterer to pass him, Alfred tried to politely tune out the conversations around him. However, his ears perked up when he heard his name being mentioned.

"Yeah. The old dude, Alfred? He's the Wayne's butler. I heard that he don't like the Grayson kid. Apparently he's a pain in the ass. The dude's glad that he's in Australia for business and another guy's problem. Nobody deserve that."

Alfred stared at the boy making the outrageous claims. It was one of the teenagers that Master Dick and Master Jason had hired. They were from the streets and the young masters had promised a hot shower, new clothes, and plenty of money in exchange for their help as the wait staff.

Walking over, Alfred summoned his acting days from when he was a field agent for the MI6. Masking his face into one of deep contemplation, Alfred allowed himself to walk into the boy, spilling the cake all over the boy's new button down shirt.

Alfred morphed his face into shock and regret seamlessly. "Oh dear! Look what I've done now! I must be getting old!"

The boy's face had been angry, but instantly changed to being accepting when he saw that it was Alfred that had knocked into him. "It's okay, Mr. Pennyworth. I didn't really like the monkey suit anyways."

Alfred actually regretted ruining the boys new clothes in such a childish act.

"I'm sure I can find you another one. It was involved in your payment after all. I'm dreadfully sorry, but would you mind telling me your name? I seem to have forgotten."

"My name's Will. And I couldn't care less about the suit. I was looking forward to the hot shower. And the new street clothes. Mr. Pennyworth. I gotta thank you for the job. It's great." The boy offered a small smile, and Alfred knew that the boy had not been malicious on purpose like so many of the party attendees. He was just spreading what he heard among his friends.

"I would love to take credit for your job young sir, but I'm afraid that it was all Master Jason and Master Dick's idea. Master Dick remembers his time in the system well and Master Jason was on the streets. They thought it best to make money for the orphanages by employing the children that the current orphanages had failed to help."

Will scrunched up his nose and looked around him before lowering his voice. "Grayson sounds cool, but why is everyone here ragging on him. If he's so great, why does everyone seem to hate him?"

Alfred pursed his lips. He had often wondered the same thing. "Master Richard is a gentle soul that the likes of high society has never seen before. They simply do not like him because he is more deserving of the wealth he came upon than anyone else in this room is. They believe that he does not deserve money because of his heritage, and find it appalling that he is set on proving them wrong."

Alfred straightened and clapped his hands once. "That's enough of that. Chop chop. We must find you some clean clothes. You look to be the size of Master Timothy, we can raid his closet for some clothes for you, I'm sure he won't mind."

Will hurried after the butler wondering how he could move that fast. "Won't you get in trouble Mr. Pennyworth. I can't imagine that the kid would like you giving away his clothes."

"While Master Timothy seems to not begrudge the suits as much as his brothers, I can assure you that he will not miss the, how did you say, monkey suit."

Will followed silently. He had never seen a picture of Tim Drake not in a suit unless it was that picture of the family on the beach. How could the kid possibly hate wearing them? For the first (and probably last) time, Will thought that the rich had it tough.

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 **A/N: This was probably written a weak ago, and like the genius I am, I forgot to post it. Please note the sarcasm. Anyways. Surprise next chapter, which is also being posted tonight, so no suspense.**

 **REVIEW!**


	25. Dick's Gift in Return (Insults part 6)

**Dick's Gift in Return**

Despite popular belief, Dick was not oblivious. He had noticed right away the increase in hostility his brothers, his father, and even his butler presented to the rest of the world. He also noticed that the hostility coincided with people making rude comments about him. Dick knew that if he made a big deal about it, his brothers would rebel, and Bruce would get that adorably awkward look on his face before disappearing in the Batcave for a few days. Alfred would just raise an eyebrow. Dick had a feeling that the butler knew that he knew.

What his family did not know, was that he defended them just as often as they did him. Granted, Alfred probably knew. Alfred always seemed to know everything.

 **###**

Dick was strolling confidently through the Wayne Corp building. It was lunchtime, so he was going to see whether or not Jason wanted to go out and grab something to eat with him. He hadn't spent quality time with just Jason in a long time, so he figured the gesture would be begrudgingly appreciated.

As he approached Jason's office, he heard the sound of his secretary on the phone. Normally Dick would announce his presence, but then he heard his name being mentioned as well as Jason's, so he decided to listen in. He was not being impolite, he just happened to overhear a conversation in the process of approaching his brother's office. He hoped that Alfred would not be too disappointed in him.

"Tracey, I would so rather be working under Dick Grayson. He is Bruce's heir, you know? And he's so hot. I can totally overlook that he used to be gypsy trash. Jason on the other hand, is and always will be street scum. The guy's a horrible boss. I'm a secretary not a servant. He actually gives me work, and asks my opinion on things. Like I care what project raises the most money for orphanages. And he could at least hit on me, I'm hot!"

Dick felt his eyebrow twitch and his lips turn into a frown. Jason liked his secretary, yet here she was bad mouthing him. If there was anything that Dick hated, it was when people pretended to like someone when in truth, they hated them.

Placing an easy going smile on his face, Dick sauntered up to the secretary. "Hey there…"

He paused trying to remember her name. It was something flowery. Iris? No Daffodile? "Daisy. Daisy Carmichael." She blushed and batted her eyelashes a little.

"Right. Ms. Carmichael. How do you like working for my brother?" Dick leaned casually against her desk, and she blushed slightly. Dick mentally rolled his eyes. She was the kind of woman who knew how to control her reactions to appeal the most to men, and Dick was not falling for it.

"Mr. Grayson, I cannot begin to describe how amazing this job is, but I think that I am a better negotiator than a humanitarian." Daisy casually leaned forward and allowed her blouse to slip down and expose her cleavage. To her immense displeasure, Dick didn't even glance down at her cleavage, instead, never looking away from her eyes.

"Is that so, Ms. Carmichael? You see, I don't like being lied to." Dick eyes chilled and Daisy shivered.

Daisy felt her palms begin to sweat slightly. "I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Grayson. But I really do have work to do."

"I believe that your friend Tracey would disagree. After all, Jason is, and always will be a street rat. Maybe that's why he's so good at his job." Dick placed his head on his chin, and to the observer, he would have appeared to be relaxed and maybe even flirty. To Daisy on the other hand, he appeared to be playing with her.

Daisy swallowed and lifted her chin. She was not going to let him bully her. "I think I'll be recommending that Martha from accounting be switched to Jason's personal secretary. Your work ethic is astounding, so I'll have you promoted to one of the executive's private secretary. That's a lot of work and you are dedicated to working are you not?"

Daisy gave a nervous smile and Dick gave her a malicious grin. "Glad that's settled. Now I have lunch with my brother, so why don't you tell him you got that promotion you applied for."

"But I didn't apply for any promotions." Daisy said nervously. She wanted to agree with anything the man was asking of her, but his plan seemed to have a fatal flaw in it.

"I'm in charge of promotions. You just applied. And got the job. You'll be reporting to Mr. McAllister starting Monday." Daisy was about to ask another question when the door to Jason's office opened.

Dick gave him a bright smile. "Hey Bro. Wanted to take you out to lunch. What do you think?"

Jason gave a small smile before it turned into a suspicious scowl. "If you wanted to take me on a lunch date, why are you talking to my secretary and not me?"

Dick laughed lightly. "You're always so suspicious Jason. I was informing her of her promotion. I got you a new secretary too. You know Martha, one of the secretaries in accounting, she's always volunteering. She also makes amazing cookies."

Shooting one last glare at Daisy, Dick steered Jason out of the building and changed the topic seamlessly before he could even think to ask why his brother was replacing his secretary without his permission.

 **###**

Dick was waiting patiently for Tim to get out of his advanced chemistry course. Tim always seemed to stay in class late, which led to Dick leaning against his car trying to ignore the girls ogling him. Contrary to popular belief, he did not sleep with any girl that showed him any interest, and he would definitely never sleep with any girl that was still in high school.

Checking his phone for the time, Dick paused and sent Bruce multiple selfies of him making funny faces. The poor man was stuck at a budget meeting while Dick got to pick up his younger brother. He hoped that Lucius would take a picture of Bruce trying to stifle a laugh, it always made him look a cross between angry and constipated.

Dick paused when he heard a group of girls giggling next to him. Lowering his phone slightly, he continued to stare at it while listening to their conversation.

"Seriously. He's still in the lab. That kid is such a nerd. It's sad, he would have been kinda cute too. Not to mention he's one of the Wayne brats. Could you imagine marrying down like that? Nobody's ever going to want to date him."

Dick crinkled his eyebrows. The girls in front of him were all had stylish haircuts and had purses that he recognized from high society events. They also were wearing black pumps that went with their school uniforms.

Dick knew their type from back when he was in high school. They were always nice until you weren't around. He still could not understand why anyone would pretend to like someone when they didn't. Granted he didn't really hate anyone but the Joker. And Penguin. And Bain.

The point being, he would never pretend to be friends with someone and then talk badly about them. He might fake a smile like he did at society events, but he never told anyone there that he actually liked them.

The girls seemed to notice that someone was watching them, and turned to face him. They quickly adopted flirty looks and approached him. Dick made no move to move, but he did raise an eyebrow when the 'leader' stroked a finger down his chest and abs, pausing at his belt buckle.

"Hey Hot Shot. What're you doing here? I saw you watching my friends and I, wanna hang out somewhere more private with us?" The 'leader' dipped a finger under his slacks to drive her point home.

Carefully removing her hand, Dick grimaced slightly. "Sorry, I only 'hang out' with people that will amount to something. You're all gonna be rich housewives, right? Not really my type, unless its for a one night stand. And I don't do those with high school students."

"Whatya mean we're not gonna be anything? We're rich, we're pretty, and any guy would be lucky to marry us. You're missing out!"

The girl stomped her foot and looked so frustrated that Dick burst out laughing. "So what. Change the world. You have the money to do so. I work, and I'm trying to make Gotham better for everyone. You can't do that by just throwing money at the underprivileged. Take Tim Drake. He's your age, and he's already the head of R&D at Wayne Corp. And believe me, that's not because of who his Daddy is. It's because the kid is a genious. He's done tone of projects that help the police and the public. He made a new breathalyzer app that he distributed to each bartender, legal or not, in the city hoping they'd stop customers that they thought had too much to drink. He helped develop a new drug for the police that should bring people down from any high they're on. He's done something for the world. What have you done?"

Dick figured that the conversation was done. He pulled out his phone and checked his messages again. Bruce had sent him a photo of him glaring and Lucius had sent him a photo of Bruce looking angry and constipated. What really surprised him, was the the video that Lucius had sent. Bruce was staring down at his phone and that weird look that meant he was stifling his laughter turned into a soft smile. Seeing that, the executives asked what he was looking at, and to Dick's surprise, Bruce proudly showed off the silly selfies that Dick had taken, earning a few laughters from the executives.

Marking the video as a favorite, Dick looked up when one of the girls in front of him pulled forcefully on his sleeve. "What?"

"Who are you to tell us that? You may be hot, but it's not like you're someone important. And how do you know that much about that loser Tim Drake? Stalker much?"

Dick rolled his eyes and sighed. What the hell was wrong with these girls. They were probably the first people that he had met since he was eight that hadn't recognized him on sight.

Spotting Tim walking out of the building, he waved, smiling brightly. Tim saw him and smiled, starting to walk over. Turning back to the girls, Dick smirked. "Stalker? I guess you could say that. Hi, my name is Dick Grayson, and I'm more important than you'll ever be. And if you ever say talk like that about my brother again, I'll make sure being wealthy is never one of your worries."

Dick wrapped an arm around Tim's shoulder when he arrived to the group and led them away from the group of girls and to the car. When they were strapped in, Dick checked the rearview mirror to see the girls gaping at him before driving the car out of the lot.

"Hey Dick? Why were you talking to those girls? You normally avoid that type of girl like the plague." Tim paused before mumbling, "Besides, they're not really nice to me."

Dick glanced quickly at Tim before offering a reassuring smile. "No worries Timmy. I was just explaining to them the benefits of staying in school over prostitution."

Tim let out a disbelieving snort and shook his head. "Only you Dick. Wait till I tell Jason. He's gonna love that."

Dick just smiled gently, not minding that he was most likely going to receive another lecture from Bruce and Alfred about the proper ways to speak to a lady.

 **###**

Dick shifted uncomfortably in the small plastic chair. Damian had surprised everyone by asking him to go to Career Day at his school. Bruce had been hurt until Damian explained that he could go to the next one as he was supposed to be at an important meeting that day. That had made Bruce smile softly. Jason meanwhile said that he wanted to go until Tim pointed out that there would be kids there.

Now Dick sat in a room with the other parents in a too small chair, bored out of his mind. The teacher had led them to this room, saying that the class would only be ready for them in an hour which had earned multiple groans.

Dick busied himself by texting Jason, who while did not want to be near children, was still incredibly jealous that Dick got to go.

 _Dick: Bro…_

 _Dick: Be glad you're not sitting in this chair. It only fits half my ass_

 _Jason: Scandalous! The Superhero community will be disappointed_

 _Dick: Really?!_

 _Jason: Is the teacher hot?_

 _Dick: REALLY?!_

 _Jason: What! Teacher's are hot! Maybe I can help the punk get better grades if I stay for detention…_

 _Dick: REALLY JASON!_

 _Jason: I'm only thinking of my brother's best interests_

 _Jason: And mine_

 _Jason: It's a win-win really_

 _Dick: I need to bleach my brain_

 _Jason: That's what I thought when I caught you and Kory going at it last month_

 _Dick: I told you! WE WILL NOT SPEAK OF THAT MOMENT EVER AGAIN!_

 _Jason: Whatever bro. Gotta go. The Old Man is yelling_

 _Jason: Apparently this meeting is about what funds I need for public outreach programs_

 _Dick: JASON!_

 _Jason: WHAT?_

 _Dick: Whatever. Bye Jason. I'll make sure to check out the teacher for you_

 _Jason: Give her my number! And tell her I do the work I do for the children_

 _Jason: Chicks dig that_

Dick shook his head and decided to join in a conversation. Scooting his chair to the nearest group of parents, Dick tried to catch up on the conversation.

A robust man was talking, waving his hands around for emphasis. "Typical that Wayne isn't here. My son Jr. says that that boy is a menace, and no wonder when Wayne pays no attention to him. I bet he's only ever met the nanny. I heard the boy got in trouble for beating a child so badly he needed to go to the hospital. And for no reason too."

Dick raised an inquisitive eyebrow when the rest of the group quickly agreed. When the man noticed that Dick had not agreed, he sized him up before offering a hand. "Name's Robert Luman. Owner of Luman Motors. Robby Luman, or Jr., is my son." He scanned Dick over again before sneering. "Who's your kid?"

Dick leaned back in his chair and sized up the man in front of him like he often did in the boardroom. Robert Luman did not travel in the same circle's are Bruce did. However, he was by far the wealthiest person in the room which is probably why the other parent's were listening to him like his words were gospel. Dick smirked slightly. Robert Luman was by far the richest man in the room until Dick had walked in, then he was the second richest man. Not that Dick personally cared, but this man obviously did, and he definitely did not realize who he was talking to.

Dick looked at the man's offered hand, not offering one in return. Robert seemed to take that as an insult, if the tightening of his lips was any indicator. The other parents tittered nervously, glancing between the two of them as if it were a tennis match.

Dick casually glanced at the ornate rolex on his wrist (a gift from Bruce) before he looked back up at Robert. "Oh. I don't have a kid here. My brother asked me to come. Dad was going to, but the kid said that he shouldn't skip the important business meeting. Dad didn't agree, but they settled on him coming next time, despite any previous engagement that he may have."

Robert's eye twitched slightly. "That doesn't tell me who you are or who you are here for." Dick raised an eyebrow. He really didn't want to answer the man.

As if hearing his silent request, his phone started to ring. Seeing Jason's name flashing across the screen, Dick waved the phone before saying, "Gotta take this."

Unfortunately he wasn't lucky enough to just get a rescue call. A holographic image of the board room popped up with Jason's blue figure pacing the room like a caged tiger. Dick knew that the board room could see a blue holographic version of him as well as some of the other parents.

Sighing at Robert Luman's gasp, Dick ran his hands down his vest and dress shirt. "Ladies. Gentlemen. What seems to be the problem. I was trying to enjoy my brother's Career Day."

Then because the universe hated him, Ms. Jax led the class into the room. Damian seemed to notice right away what was going on, scowling softly. Turning to Ms. Jax he declared, "My brother shall be going first it seems. He will be giving a live demonstration of his skills it seems." Turning to the hologram he continued. "Father, it seems you have made my Career Day after all. Perhaps next time there will be no reason to argue that you would be a better fit than Grayson."

Bruce smiled faintly. "Sounds good Damian. But I thought that we agreed that I would go next time?"

Damian ignored him and looked over at Jason. "Well Todd, you got your wish. You may give your phone number to my teacher so that you can begin the sexual relation you wished to have."

Dick felt the blood drain from his face. Turning to fully face Damian he hissed, "Damian you can't say things like that!"

Damian smirked. "Relax Grayson. I was merely jesting. Right Todd?"

Jason let out a nervous laugh and ran a hand through his hair. "Good one kid. We'll work on timing later."

Bruce let out a breath and shook his head. "Dick, we called because we seem to be at a disagreement. We have a hundred thousand grand grant up for one of the departments and we can't agree on who gets it. It's between R&D and Public Relations at the point."

Dick felt himself straighten and his grin fade into a serious look. "I assume that we cannot just split the money and give half to each department?"

Bruce pinched in between his eyes as a new round of fighting started between executives and department heads. Raising his voice slightly to be heard over the commotion Bruce ground out, "They both said that it's not enough money otherwise to do what they want to do. Tim wants to hire some new hands to work on his new project and Jason wants to do some public outreach program. Something with STEM fields. I honestly can't remember."

Dick nodded slightly. After a few minutes of watching them fight, Dick clapped his hands loudly. The boardroom quieted down as people elbowed each other and focused on Dick. Dick absentmindedly noticed that the people behind him quieted slightly too.

"So. If I understand correctly, Tim wants more hands on deck. Right?" Receiving a nod from Tim, he continued. "And Jason. You want to do more public outreach. For the children. Right?" Jason nodded, but Dick noticed that the man the almost indiscernible snort that the man let out. "Okay. Tim you're getting your help." Dick raised his voice over the cheering and yelling. "And Jason, you're helping the children."

"How?" Jason demanded harshly. "You of all people know how important this is Dick. You got put in Juvie just because they didn't have space for you at the orphanage."

There was a silent gasp around the room and Damian straightened to the point where his spine looked like a steel rod. "Jason. We will talk about that comment later. You know Damian didn't know that, and I'm sure that nobody in this room or in yours needed to know that didn't already." Dick took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure. "My idea is that Tim hires kids from less fortunate areas as paid interns. We also offer them full Wayne Scholarships to Gotham University. That way Tim gets his new employees to boss around and you help save the children. Everyone happy? Good. I want to be a good brother and participate in my little brother Damian's Career Day." With that he hung up before the next issue could be brought up.

Turning to face the class, he saw that everyone's eyes were wide, and there were some jaws hanging. Looking at Robert Luman he said, "Sorry bout that, I turned on the auto reply, so I won't get anymore calls. I guess I should fully introduce myself. I'm Richard 'Dick' Grayson-Wayne, and I am in charge of negotiating deals for Wayne Corp with other companies. I also tend to be the tie-breaker or peace keeper at company meetings, and I try to help out in the Public Relations Department as much as possible because I don't think that being rich is any excuse not to help and connect to others. I'm here today because Damian asked me to be, and I would be honored to answer any questions that you may have for me."

Kids immediately started jumping up and down, waving their hands in the air trying to catch his attention. Dick just smiled and laughed as he patiently answered each one. His grin widened when Damian moved to stand beside him, and he practically beamed when Damian allowed Dick's hand to rest on his shoulder.

Dick made it a point to ignore Robert Luman who seemed to be peeved that the parents were now flocking around Dick and not him. Dick offered him a smile, and whether or not Robert viewed it as victorious or vindictive was not really his problem.

 **###**

Dick pulled at the collar of his tux. He was leaning against the far wall watching the party go on with a glass of scotch in his hand. He was so glad that he was over twenty one. The alcohol made these events somewhat bearable.

He watched with something resembling amusement as Bruce gestured wildly while laughing and the group he was talking to laughed with him. Normally, Dick would be standing next to him, but he just couldn't find the energy to interact with people tonight. Especially fake people. People who were looking for weaknesses they could prey upon and take advantage of.

Dick noticed absent mindedly that someone was leaning on the wall next to him, however, he was surprised when the person spoke. "Think he's a bad father too, huh? I always wonder what CPS was thinking letting him take those kids. He's a party boy not a father."

Dick looked over his shoulder at the man next to him. He was about his age, maybe a little older with spiked brown hair red hair, and a crooked tie. He too, was holding a glass of scotch in his hand."

Dick pursed his lips slightly debating whether or not to respond to the stranger. Shrugging mentally, he said, "You're wrong. I think he's a good father. The best they could've hoped for."

The other man cocked his head to the side as if debating Dick's position. "Perhaps. But don't you think that the class difference would make the kids more of a plaything for him rather than children to cherish?"

Dick shrugged. "I think most people in this room view their own children as playthings. And I think of all the people in this room, Bruce Wayne is the least likely to care about class."

The man's eyebrows furrowed. "Why would you say that? He's the richest, he should care the most."

Dick turned to face Bruce again. "Tragedy strikes anyone. Doesn't matter the class. He saw children suffering and he decided to do something. He didn't have to."

"One could argue that anyone would help the children he helped if they had the chance." The man argued.

Dick turned back around to face the man. "You're not from around here are you?"

This seemed to surprise him. "No. I'm from Star City. How'd you know?"

Dick smirked. "Because everyone knows who I am, and nobody would talk to me about my Dad that way unless they had issues. Name's Dick Grayson. It's nice to meet you."

The man blinked slowly before offering a hand that Dick shook firmly. "Roy Harper."

Dick nodded, thinking about how Bruce had something years ago about Oliver Queen's ward having that name. He had seen glances of the red head, and he knew that he was Red Arrow, but Bruce tended to avoid Ollie if he could. Something about annoying archers.

"Right. Oliver Queen's ward. If you two have issues, take it up with him. Don't project them onto me and Bruce. We are currently issue free and I'd like it to remain that way for the night. I'm too tired to fight with him right now." Dick slumped further into the wall and he swore that the red head's lips twitched slightly.

"To answer your question from earlier, most people in Gotham won't help people out of the goodness of their hearts. Especially if you're a recently orphaned circus acrobat without a penny to your name. You're too poor for the rich, and most others can't afford another mouth to feed." Dick paused and watched as Bruce and Oliver talked animatedly with one another. Dick doubted that the archer noticed the slight tick in Bruce's hand that signified he was actually annoyed. He doubted anyone but his brothers and Alfred would be able to tell that Bruce Wayne did not want to be talking to Oliver Queen.

"You know, Bruce was there when my parents were murdered. Everyone at the circus saw it, but do you know what he did? He ran down the steps from the seat where he was watching the circus incognito to where I was crying over their bodies, and he covered their faces with his expensive jacket and pulled me into a hug. He his me from the horrors of the world when everyone was too shocked to act. When the other people were whispering about the fall of the Grayson's. Two weeks later he found out they stuck me in Juvie. He arrived there with an army of lawyers and his butler and took me home that day. Yes it was trial and error. A lot of error, but he's the best thing that's ever happened to me and you can't convince me otherwise."

Roy's face turned thoughtful, and both men stood leaning against the wall in contemplative silence before Dick sighed. "I gotta go save Bruce. I think Ollie's past the point of simply annoying him. Look. When I'm mad at Bruce, I think of all he's given me, not to guilt myself into forgiving him, but rather to remember all the reasons I should forgive him. Or at least reenter the conversation as a voice of reason. I'm sure whatever Ollie did was out of love or a misguided form of it. You may not be the Dynamic Duo, but that's okay too."

Dick walked away knowing there was a shocked and confused look on Roy's face. Bruce had once told him that Ollie had tried to gain the same relationship that they had with Roy. Problem was, that kind of relationship took years to develop and the undying loyalty that the two men had for each other. That everyone in the Bat Clan has for for each other.

Walking up to Bruce and Ollie, Dick faked an urgent matter that they had to discuss. As they walked away, Bruce looped an arm around Dick's shoulders. "Thanks for the assist partner. Although I kinda wish it had come ten minutes earlier."

Dick shrugged noncommittally before dragging his mentor behind a pillar, where hopefully nobody would try to talk to them, and Dick could try to enjoy the rest of the evening.

 **###**

Dick struggled to carry the ten boxes piled high in his arms. He was Christmas shopping with Alfred and so far, they had only bought things for Tim and Bruce. Dick readjusted his hold on the boxes and said, "Alfie, I'm going to bring this to the car. I'll meet you at that biker store. Hopefully they still have the new leather jacket Jason was eyeing a few weeks ago.

When Dick finally made it out to the car, he had a hard time finding his keys without dropping his boxes. Luckily, someone caught the top three boxes as they fell. Dick looked up to see a young lady blushing as she held the boxes out to him.

Dick quickly opened the car door and stuffed everything into the back seat. "Thanks. I'm pretty sire one of the boxes you saved was my brother's new tablet."

"Hi Richard. My name's Sasha." She waved shyly at him and Dick briefly wondered how she knew his name before remembering he was kinda famous.

"Please call me Dick. Only the boardrooms call me Richard and this is my vacation." Dick paused as she laughed. "Well them and sometimes my butler."

Sasha smiled brightly before saying, "Is the butler the guy who you were with earlier?"

Dick thought that was kind of weird. It's one thing when you meet someone earlier, but really, she had followed him? "Um...yeah. Why?"

"Well he can't be a very good butler if you carried everything! You poor baby! I could totally help you if you want!"

Dick was officially creeped out by this girl. What was her problem? And why was she still talking to him? Better question yet, why was he still talking to her? "Um...he's an amazing butler actually. Cooks and cleans spectacularly and he keeps us all in line. Like a grandfather, I guess."

The girl was creeping closer and Dick starting edging back. He noted that he was one the third floor up, so about thirty feet. If he did the quad his family was famous for landing in a forward tuck before doing about ten handsprings, he could totally clear that distance claiming that it was his surface roots.

"You deserve so much better than that. I'll be your _personal_ maid. I'll do anything you ask of me. Master."

Sasha was now only a foot away from him. "Really. Alfred's the best. Besides I rather donate the money I'd use to pay a maid."

"I don't want your money. I like instant gratification."

Seeing as Sasha was now running her hand down his chest and making a beeline for somewhere he really did not want her to touch, Dick did the only thing he could. He jumped over the rail and off the building.

Granted he landed safely and instantly started running. When he reached Alfred, he hugged the man tightly. Alfred patted his head softly and Dick pulled away. "Alfie. You can't leave us. And not because Bruce would probably blow up the kitchen the moment you left, but because maids are insane.

Alfred had no idea what the young master was trying to convey, but he appreciated the sentiment anyways.

 **###**

Sometimes, Dick was asked why he defended his family with so much vigor. He could only shrug and say something along the lines of they's do the same for him. Despite all the languages he knew, he did not know how to put it into words the bond that his family shared. A bond so tight, that it was impossible to be let in unless everyone agreed. It was a bond that people could not comprehend, so they made light of it.

Dick knew that not even the Superhero community understood their bond. Most still believed that they were a meta family able to read each other's minds, explaining how they could communicate so well without the usage of words.

The truth of the matter was, that they just understood each other on a fundamental level. Dick knew what each twitch of each muscle on each of his family members meant. Happy, annoyed, angry, sad, overwhelmed, nervous, uncomfortable, the list goes on. And the comforting part, was that they knew what each muscle twitch on him meant too. They understood each other, and therefore he knew that he would never ever have to worry about being alone or misunderstood.

So, yes. He would defend each member of his family until his dying breathe. Because he knew that without a doubt, they would do the same.

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 **A/N: Telling you right now. That's the longest chapter I've ever written. Its 12 whole pages on google docs, so go me! And go you for reading it!**

 **Did you like that I included this? Personally, I thought it was a stroke of genius, but what do I know.**

 **Thanks to _Minilopflop_ for the idea. Said I should do insults to Jason, and I did, and it just kept going from there!**

 **REVIEW PLEASE!**


	26. An Apple a Day

**An Apple a Day**

Dick was excited for the upcoming week. Alfred was going to England to visit his sister, which meant that it would be a week full of movies, take-out, and snacks loaded with fat and sugar. The best part, was that it was a week full of laughter and family bonding. Even Damian normally managed to smile during family week. The only thing missing was Alfred, but since he would never allow the unholy foods to pass their lips, it had to be a week when he was gone.

Unfortunately for Dick, the week did not turn out like that. It had started with Tim sniffling slightly into his morning coffee. Next thing he knew, Tim, Jason, Damian, and even Bruce had the nastiest case of the flu that he'd ever seen.

Okay, it wasn't so sudden. Tim had been sniffling into his coffee when Jason came down the stairs complaining that he must be getting old because he was achy everywhere. Bruce had a headache, so he didn't bother leaving his room, and when Dick went to find Damian, he had a slight fever.

The next day, all four of them had aches, migraines, and high fevers, not to mention this hacking cough that made Dick seriously worried that they'd lose a lung. Was that even possible? Maybe he should google it. Or call Leslie, that was probably a good idea.

So, Dick called Dr. Leslie Tompkins. "Hey Leslie. Can you please swing by the manor on your way home. I have four patients that will appreciate it even if they would rather do ballet with Joker than admit it out loud." Dick ignored the protests coming from said patient's. They could deny it all they wanted, they all knew it was true.

"Dick. I have a lot of patients here who need my help. I was planning on pulling an all nighter. Ask Alfred."

Leslie sounded so tired, that Dick almost regretted asking her. Then he heard Jason whine about needing help to the bathroom, and steeled his resolve. There was no way he was helping Jason pee more times than he had to. "Leslie, When Jason's well enough to work without thinking the paperwork in trying to molest him (very long story that involved figuring out that Jason's fever was causing hallucinations) I will ask him to increase your budget so that you can hire more staff. And I know for a fact that him and Bruce were discussing opening a second location. But please, for the love of whatever or whoever you believe in, come over. I'll even order some good food instead of the Chinese leftovers that I've been living off of and the soup I've been force feeding our patients. If you haven't already figured it out, Alfred's not here!"

Leslie paused. Dick sounded really freaked out. And it was definitely worrying that Jason was hallucinating. "Order me some fancy sushi and you got a deal."

Dick sighed in relief. "For you Leslie, I'd order the sushi that costs over two thousand dollars for the two of us."

Leslie let out a light laugh, promising to arrive around seven before hanging up. Dick slumped against the wall and rubbed his temples slightly. He needed a nap. And judging from the faint odor, he also needed a shower. Maybe he could take a five minute shower while everyone was asleep.

As if hearing his plans to have a minute to himself, Damian croaked, "Grayson! Something is wrong with my chest, it hurts. And I cannot stay warm despite the ludicrous amounts of blankets you have piled on me."

Dick likes to think of himself as fairly patient, but when Bruce started whining that he was tired, Dick snapped. "Bruce. Just take a nap. In fact, all of you take a nap! I need to shower, and I need to order food for Leslie. I'll be back in ten minutes, so if there's an emergency, just yell."

Dick marched away from his family and up the stairs and into the shower. He jumped in quickly and leaned against the wall slightly, closing his eyes. It felt nice, he hadn't really slept in more than two days because he had been trying to keep up with his family's demands, not to mention rescuing them from their hallucinations. He decided that he would never let Jason live that down. With that pleasant thought Dick found himself closing his eyes for a few minutes.

* * *

When Leslie arrived at the manor, she knew something was wrong. Nobody answered the door despite how many times she rang the bell, and she did not detect any movement inside. Fearing the worst, she dug out her emergency spare key that Alfred had given her.

Hurrying inside, Leslie found Jason, Tim, Damian, and Bruce resting on cots in the den. Looking around, she found no signs of the eldest Wayne boy. "Where's Dick?"

Jason sniffled pathetically. "He told us he was needed ten minutes to order food and shower. That was like two hours ago."

Immediately worst case scenarios ran through Leslie's head. Dick had contracted whatever the others had and had fallen ill, Dick had fainted and hit his head, he had slipped in the shower, he had been kidnapped again. Leslie rushed up the stairs and into Dick's room. When she heard the shower still going, she decided that he must of slipped in the shower and was now unconscious on the shower floor. Rushing in, nothing prepared her for the sight she saw. Dick Grayson, in all his naked glory, was fast asleep while leaning against the shower wall. Leslie couldn't help it, she burst into laughter.

Her laughter startled Dick awake, and he jumped and ended up slipping. Sitting on the shower floor he rubbed his head slightly wincing. "Leslie? What are you doing here so early?"

Leslie smiled and handed the young man his towel. "Dick, honey, you've been asleep in the shower for two hours."

Dick's eyes widened and he started cursing. Then he turned to her with big eyes. "Can we agree that I decided to take a nap. In my bed? Cause I'd never live this down."

Leslie laughed but made no promises. It was more than likely that she'd tell Alfred, and whether or not the man spilled the beans was not up to her. Dick seemed to realize her thoughts and groaned before leaving the bathroom to get dressed.

When he was ready, he gestured for Leslie to go down the stairs before following behind her. Leslie admired as Dick fussed over his siblings and Bruce, making sure that they all had a glass of water within reach.

"Where were you Grayson? I wanted you to tell me a story!" Leslie almost did a double take as she observed Damian act his age for once.

"Sorry Little D. I took a quick nap which is what you should have been doing." Damian pouted but did not otherwise respond.

Leslie decided that as cute and heartwarming as the scene was, she should probably do her job and check over her patients. She did a quick check on all four of their vitals before checking their eyes, nose, throats, and ears. After about half an hour she turned to Dick. "Well it turns out that all four of them caught a rather nasty case of the flu."

Dick's eyebrow twitched. "You mean to tell me that all of this could have been prevented if they got their flu shot when Alfred told them to? That I wouldn't have slaved away and seen more of them then I wanted to? That we could have family week?"

Leslie got the feeling that Dick was not happy. She decided it was probably time for her to make her leave. "Dick I should really head back to the clinic. You can get me my dinner another time. I think that you should take it easy on them until they recover more, than you can give them hell."

Leslie almost pitied Bruce and the boys when she saw the evil glint in Dick's eyes before he let out a dark chuckle. "Don't worry Leslie. I plan on getting my revenge."

* * *

When Alfred returned from his trip he found out that Master Bruce, Master Timothy, Master Jason, and Master Damian were all Master Dick's slaves and had to do whatever he wanted. Normally that just meant getting him food so that he didn't have to get up, but every once in awhile, he requested that someone read to him and that someone gives him a message. To Alfred's confusion, there was not one instance where one of the 'slaves' complained.

He later found out why. Apparently while he was gone, everyone but Master Dick came down with a nasty case of the flu because they were not properly vaccinated. As a result, Master Dick had to take care of them, and had obtained blackmail videos.

The butler had woken up a few days after his return to find a thumb drive on his nightstand. On it sat a sticky note that read:

 **Under the threat of sending this compilation to everybody in the Superhero community, I have gained four loyal slaves.**

 **-Dick Grayson ;)**

Curious, he had loaded it into his laptop and pulled up a video. What he had found was quite amusing.

* * *

 _Jason sat as his desk reading some paperwork. Frustrated, he picked he threw a piece of paper and it flew back and hit him in the face. Instead of pushing it away like normal, Jason fell off his chair knocking the rest of the paperwork down and on top of him. Jason started yelling and panicking holding the paper to him as he rolled around yelling, "Dick help me! The paper is trying to molest me! I'm about to be raped! Help!"_

 _Dick came crashing into the office looking around for who could possibly trying to hurt his brother. Instead he found Jason rolling around the floor with a bunch of paper covering him. Sighing he said, "Come on Jason. Let's get you to bed."_

 _Jason nodded with his bottom lip quivering and lifted his arms to be picked up. Dick sighed in exasperation before crouching next to Jason so that the younger man could get a piggy back ride._

* * *

 _Tim stared hard at the spoon. "I love you. You're so much better than a fork. Shhh...we don't want to tell her that. She still thinks I love her, but I love you now."_

 _Tim sighed happily and leaned forward and kissed the spoon. "Gosh, I love you Spoony. How could I ever have like the hard prongs of a fork over your delicate curves?"_

 _Dick snorted in amusement from where he stood pouring himself another cup of coffee. "Hey Tim, are we really talking about a fork and a spoon, or is this all metaphorically?"_

 _Tim scrunched up his eyebrows. "How are a fork and spoon metaphorical. I just don't like the hard prongs anymore. Spoons are so delicate. Forks are aggressive and dominant."_

 _Dick raised an eyebrow, but didn't question him further. "Do you want some cereal or soup or something?"_

" _Gosh no! Dick! How could you say that in front of Spoony? You know she doesn't like only being valued for her figure!" Tim paused and stared dreamily at the spoon. "Hey Dick? Do you think it's possible to spoon with a spoon?"_

* * *

 _Bruce pouted and Dick sighed. Heavily. Multiple times. "I wanna cuddle Dick! Why don't you wanna cuddle? You always want to cuddle!"_

 _Dick pinched the bridge of his nose. "When you're not high on medication, and you still want to cuddle, I'll gladly cuddle with you."_

 _Bruce started to tear up. "But I want to cuddle now!"_

 _Dick sighed deeply again. "Bruce, I have to take care of my brothers. They're also sick right now. I don't have time to cuddle."_

" _Why aren't you calling me Dad? You always call me Dad. Did I do something wrong? I didn't mean to, I swear!"_

 _Dick actually felt bad now. He wasn't sure if it was because of the drugs or because Bruce was sick, but the man had been unusually clingy. "No, you didn't do anything wrong Dad."_

 _Bruce's eyebrows furrowed. "Then why won't you cuddle with me?"_

" _Dick rubbed his temples. "Dad you're sick, and as I'm the only healthy one, I don't want to get sick too. Otherwise I'd love to cuddle."_

 _Bruce seemed to contemplate the answer before reaching out and yanking Dick into bed with him. From there, the older man wrapped Dick into a vice grip that he could not possibly escape from without causing grievous bodily harm to Bruce._

 _Accepting his fate, Dick lied still as Bruce snuggled into him, nuzzling the back of his neck._

* * *

 _Dick watched as Damian jumped up and down on his cot. "Please Damian, go sleep."_

 _Damian stuck out his bottom lip before whining, "But Mommy I'm not tired!"_

 _Dick blinked. He could not possibly have heard right. Blinking again, he forced himself to refocus when he noticed that Damian had resumed jumping on the bed. Dick tried to make himself seem more like a stern parent and not a pushover older brother that really needed to get some sleep. "How about I tell you a story and then you can go to sleep."_

 _Damian seemed to think about it momentarily. "Only if you do funny voices." Damian then proceeded to make himself comfortable in Dick's lap, which, needless to say, was not very comfortable for Dick._

 _Dick sighed. He knew that he was trying to get Damian to act his age, but if this is what kids were like, then he wanted Damian to act like his usual bratty self. "In a far away kingdom, a king was dying but he had no heirs."_

" _Like Father?" Damian interrupted._

 _Dick could feel a migraine coming on. "No, not like Dad. The king wanted to find the best suited heir so he devised a contest. Whoever could grow the most beautiful flowers from the provided seeds would become the next king."_

" _That's stupid. What does flowers have to do with politics?"_

" _Just wait. It'll make more sense I promise." Dick was quickly losing his patience. Why couldn't Damian not interrupt his story? All he wanted to do was get some sleep. "Now where was I? So there was this man who grew the most beautiful flowers in all the land. People told him that he could grow something from nothing. When he had received his packet of seeds, he had arrogantly assumed that the task would be easy. After all, he grew flowers for a living! However, despite how hard he tried, he could not make the seeds grow into a flower."_

" _Perhaps he was not as skilled as he thought he was."_

" _Perhaps." Dick was glad that Damian was following along with the story, despite the fact that he wished he would stop interrupting. "The man tried and tried using every trick up his sleeve, but nothing grew. Finally the day came when the whole country was supposed to present their flowers to the king. The man looked around him and observed all the different types of beautiful flowers. He was the only one with an empty pot. Everyone else had pots with orchids, sunflowers, poppies, peonies, daisies, and even tulips._

" _When it was the man's turn to present his pot, he was very embarrassed. 'I'm sorry my lord. Despite how hard I tried, I could not get anything to grow.'_

" _The king smiled at him and announced that the man was the winner of the competition. The crowd was outraged. The man hadn't grown anything at all!_

" _The king just smiled before he said, 'That's the point. He does not have anything to show me. I boiled all the seeds. Nobody should have grown any flowers. This man is honest, and therefore he will be honest to the people as their next ruler!'_

"The man was shocked. And as cheers erupted around the kingdom, he realized that his best quality was not his ability to grow flowers, it was that he was never deceitful. The end."

 _Dick looked down only to find Damian fast asleep in his lap. He tried to move the boy, but Damian just tightened his grip, so Dick settled down in the small cot and finally closed his eyes._

* * *

Alfred could hardly suppress his smile as he watched the videos. Pulling the USB out of his laptop, Alfred placed it among other special memories in a shoebox under his bed. Shaking his head, he almost wished that he had gotten to witness his charges dramatic personality changes in person. However, in the end it was probably best that he was in England. After all, he had forgotten to get his flu shot too.

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 **A/N: First of all, I don't know if that Fable really exists or not, my second grade teacher told it to us and it stuck with me. Second of all, thanks for all the really amazing reviews.**

 **Here are the prompt ideas I have so far:**

Prank wars

normalizing Damian (school)

Xmas

Valentine's Day

Father's DAy

Alfred's Bday

Break ups (minishots how each of them went through bad breakup w/ help from bros)

Bruce be emotionally incompetent

Dick's amazing persuasive power

Damian, tim, jason get sick…..dick gets sick after taking care of them

Damian's first crush Zatannagurl

Disneyland trip help Dick smile dragoscilvio

Assassins want Dick WolfGirl

 **If you have a great idea or I missed one that you already told me about (I do that sometimes and I'm sorry. It's probably on one of the many sticky notes around my room acting as a reminder for things I have to do) please let me know! I get kind of weird when I don't have many prompts on my list. It just makes it really hard for me to write. Just FYI, I'm not trying to pressure you guys into leaving ideas for me or anything. Just one of my many quirks.**

 **Anyways, please review and tell me which story you want to see next, and let me know it you think of any prompt ideas!**


	27. To Bring Joy

**To Bring Joy**

Bruce resisted the urge to itch his face. He put on his biggest, and fakest smile, and tried to remember how exactly he got roped into this position. He liked to think that he was a charitable soul, but this was going to far. How in the world had he ended up sitting in an orphanage in a Santa Claus costume with his four sons gathered around him in elf costumes?

Unsurprisingly, Dick made a fantastic elf, even going as far as to introduce himself as Twinkle Toes, the elf name that Jason had given him. Dick enthusiastically greeted each child before introducing Tinsel (Jason), Whiz (Tim), and GK (Damian). Dick had leaned down and conspiratorially stage whispered that GK stood for Grumpy Kitty.

Bruce witnessed as a murderous gleam entered Damian's eyes and Dick turned around and pulled an eyelid down while sticking out his tongue. Sometimes he wondered if his eldest was actually his youngest. It seemed highly plausible.

Bruce's nose twitched again. The Santa Clause beard was not doing him any favors. He tried to figure out how he got in this mess to begin with.

* * *

 _Jason was trying to figure out how to make Christmas better for children in the orphanages. Normally the Wayne Foundation just handed them a check, but he felt like he wasn't doing enough. Sighing he slammed his head into his desk. Maybe he could slam an idea into his head._

" _That looked like it had to hurt." Jason looked up to see Dick leaning over him. "Are you okay? Don't tell me Damian's teacher keeps calling you too?"_

" _I'm fine." Jason said grouchily. What was Dick even doing in here? His office was three floors up and it took exactly one thousand two hundred and fifty three steps to get there if you took the stairs. And Dick always took the stairs. "Wait, Damian's teacher keeps calling you? After she turned me down?"_

 _Dick shrugged noncommittally. "Anything I could help you with?"_

 _Jason sighed. He usually couldn't get Dick to shut up, but when he decided he didn't want to talk about something, you'd have better luck breaking into a vault made of kryptonite when you were Superman. "I feel like I'm not doing enough for the orphanages. Donating money is so impersonal."_

 _Dick sat down on top of Jason's desk. He frowned slightly and watched as he swung his legs gently. "I guess you're right. What they need is hope. For someone to prove that there is still goodness in the world. To bad the Justice League doesn't have contact with Santa Claus."_

 _Jason grinned. "That's it! We can go hand out presents as Santa and his elves. Bruce can be the head honcho and we can be his subordinates!"_

 _The smile Dick had given him had been so gentle and loving that Jason felt his head swell with determination. It was going to take a Christmas miracle to convince Bruce._

 _###_

 _Predictably, it had not gone well. Bruce had heard the sentence 'dress like Santa…' and immediately stopped listening. No matter how much Jason pleaded and yelled, it was as if Bruce had simply told his brain to put Jason on mute. Knowing Bruce, it was entirely possible that he had mastered the art of muting whoever he pleased. It would explain how he was able to sit through Dick's long-winded stories with a smile on his face after three hours of him explaining an event that had been over within thirty minutes._

 _Jason exited Bruce's office feeling rejected. What was he supposed to do now? Give up?_

 _In his head, he imagined a figure on each shoulder. On his right shoulder was Superman and on his left was Catwoman. Jason really couldn't believe that he was desperate enough to imagine the good versus bad of a situation with two imaginary people, but he let the scene play out. Maybe he'd get some clarity._

 _Superman started. "Jason. Your father said no. Think of another way to bring joy to the children. Or ask Dick to play Santa. He'd be more than willing."_

 _Jason turned his head to Catwoman. "You gonna give it a go or what?"_

 _Catwoman placed a hand on her cocked hip and said, "Jason. You already know what you have to do to get your way. Just tell Dick. He'll convince Bruce in no time."_

 _Superman coughed slightly to get Jason's attention. "Now Jason, that would be underhanded and manipulative. Bruce is allowed to have a different opinion than you."_

" _But you won't get your way." Catwoman purred in his ear._

 _Jason shrugged. "Sorry Supes. But I'm a pretty manipulative and underhanded guy." With that he flicked Superman off of his shoulder and sauntered down the hallway to Dick's office. The Old Man wouldn't know what hit him._

 _###_

 _Jason watched the scene in amusement. Dick was telling Bruce about poor orphan children and practically tearing up. Bruce was obviously trying to ignore him, but kept glancing up. Finally a tear made its way down Dick's cheek. "You don't care about helping the children? Or spending quality family time with each of your four sons? About teaching your kids about the true meaning of Christmas?"_

 _Jason watched in delight as Bruce's will crumpled. Finally the man nodded saying that he'd play Santa. Dick dive bombed him for a hug that probably bruised the man's organs. Over Dick's shoulder, Bruce gave Jason a glare that could kill someone, only to resurrect them to kill them again._

 _Jason smirked and gave him a small finger wave in return. Bruce's glare narrowed and he lifted a hand up to flip Jason off. Unfortunately for Bruce, Dick had caught that gesture and spent the next half an hour scolding him. Jason had recorded the whole thing with savage glee. Next time Bruce tried to ground him, that video was going to be leaked to the whole Justice League._

* * *

So now, Bruce sat there with children in his lap, a scratchy beard, and trying to come up with a revenge plan that would not end with the recording of him being scolded like a child by his child being sent to the whole Justice League.

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 **A/N: This isn't the actual persuasion chapter. It just practically wrote itself when I was trying to write something else. So you know, enjoy!**

 **So I want to thank you all for the really great prompts I got! I already have rough (and I mean rough) ideas about what I'm going to write and stuff.**

 **On a random note, I am totally obsessed with this anime I found called Magi. So there's a hint into my very entertaining fangirl life.**

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 **Happy reading, and please review!**


	28. Bringing Back a Smile (part 1)

**Bringing Back a Smile (Part 1)**

Surprisingly, it was Damian who noticed it first. He was training with Dick when instead of beaming at him and ruffling Damian's hair like normal, he offered a flat smile. Damian had spent the rest of the night puzzling over it. Was his attack on the training dummy below expectations? He resolved to ask someone later.

It was three days before he managed to corner his father alone. "Father. Am I not meeting your expectations in training?"

Bruce looked absolutely puzzled. "Damian, you're doing well. Why do you ask?"

Damian crossed his arms over his chest. He would not allow his father to lie to him. "Grayson was acting odd during training a few days ago, and has continued to smile oddly. It is obviously a fake smile, and I wish to know why he is deploying it on me."

Bruce frowned. "Damian, do you know where Dick is right now?"

Damian cocked his head. Now his father was acting odd. "I assume he is still in his room." He was about to ask more, but his father had already vanished down the hall. Damian let out a huff. Father could at least tell him what was wrong before disappearing.

 **###**

Bruce tried to knock softly, but the urge to knock the door down and rush into Dick's room made the knock come out more forceful than intended. When Dick told him to enter, he entered and silently leaned against the door and observed his son. He tried to see what Damian had noticed, and everyone else had missed.

It wasn't easy. Once he got past the superficial smile and relaxed body language, Bruce noticed the dark circles and broken look in his eyes. Then there were the bitten nails, a habit that Dick had broken years prior.

Bruce didn't say anything. He had long learned that it was best to silently support Dick. If it was something that he should know, Dick would share it with him. Watching as his son brushed past him softly and disappeared down the stairs, Bruce wondered if maybe it wasn't such a good strategy.

Taking out his phone, he sent a simple text to the other members of the house.

 **Bruce: Family meeting in thirty. NOBODY tell Dick**

 **Jason: Whatever Old Man**

 **Damian: I will be present Father**

 **Tim: Sure Bruce.**

 **Alfred: Sir is it really necessary that you text me? I am standing next to you after all.**

 **###**

Bruce paced his office nervously. They were still waiting for Jason, and in the back of Bruce's mind, he kept imaging Dick bursting through the door yelling, "Don't start without me!"

Needless to say, that did not happen. In fact, Jason was the one to burst through the door shouting that he was there and that they could start the meeting now.

Bruce sighed. Choosing his words carefully, he began. "Damian pointed out to me that Dick is not behaving normally. I went to check on him and he has dark circles under his eyes, started biting his nails again, and he looks broken. Does anyone have any clue as to why?"

Tim scratched his head slightly before sighing. "Remember last week? The two of us responded to a hostage situation at Gotham Bank. When we got there, a few of the hostages were already dead, and a few were beyond medical help. We quickly disposed of the bad guy, and tried to help the wounded. Dick held a little boy in his arms as he died. The parents were already dead, and Dick said that the least he could do for the kid was comfort him until he could see his parents again." Tim rubbed a hand down his face. "I should have said something. Dick told me he was fine, and everytime I see him he's smiling. I was having trouble getting over it, so the last thing I wanted to do was bring it up."

Bruce watched as Damian awkwardly patted Tim's shoulder, which was probably the kindest thing he had ever done to Tim. Taking a deep breath Bruce sighed and rubbed his temples. His sons were cracking and he did not know what to do.

Alfred, in all his wisdom, seemed to realize his problem. "Sir, I do believe this would be a good time to schedule a vacation. Perhaps a break from the heroing would be in order."

Bruce nodded gratefully. "Okay boys. Where do you think we should go to put a smile on Dick's face. On all of your faces?"

Jason slapped his hand down on Bruce's desk and stood up dramatically. "Old Man, is that a serious question? There is only one place to go in a time like this!"

When Jason did not offer any more information, Bruce sighed but gave into the boy's silent request by asking the question. "And where would that be Jason?"

Jason placed his hands on his hips, and dramatically declared, "The happiest place on earth of course! We're going to Disneyland!"

 **A/N: I feel like this is the teaser trailer for the actual story. I mean its important but not really? What do I know? I'm just the author. Anyways...like always, I have a rough idea where this is going, but if there is anything you want to see happen, PM me or leave your ideas in a review!**

 **Happy reading!**


	29. Bringing Back a Smile (part 2)

**Bringing Back a Smile (Part 2)**

Dick stared at the pile of packed suitcases in the foyer blankly. There was no way that his antivacation family had decided to go on one without telling him. Normally he would be rejoicing at the idea of spending time with his family, but every time he looked at one of his brothers, he saw the boy bleeding out in his arms. He was not in the mood to sit through so much family time. There was only so much he could handle, and right now, he had to focus on getting better over spending time with his brothers.

Walking up to Bruce, Dick formulated a simple plan on how to politely ask to be left out of the vacation and to stay at home and watch reruns on SNL. Maybe the comedy would help him feel more like himself.

Bruce seemed to have other ideas though. When he approached the man, he firmly denied Dick the option of staying home. Dick began to argue when he felt a small prick at the back of his neck and everything faded into darkness.

###

Bruce stared incredulously at Jason. "You just drugged your brother!"

Jason shrugged indifferently and pocketed the syringe. "He was arguing. Now he's not. I didn't want to miss our flight."

Bruce rubbed a hand down his face. "Jason. It's a private jet. My private jet. They're not leaving without us."

"His arguing was annoying me. Sheesh. We go through the trouble of arranging a trip to Disneyland to make the man smile and he has the audacity to say he doesn't want to go!" Jason started to pace violently. "That's like you offering me a gun and me saying, 'Sorry, I already have this broken one.'"

Bruce took a moment to appreciate that Tim's vocabulary was wiping off on Jason. Audacity was definitely a word that Jason would have never used before. Briefly he wondered if that meant that Jason's habits were affecting Tim. He decided that he really did not want to know. "Jason. I hadn't told Dick that we were going to Disneyland yet. I hadn't even gotten around to telling him that we were worried about him!"

Jason stopped pacing and stared at Bruce. "Oh. Well I guess he'll find out when we get there then. On the bright side, he'll be asleep the whole flight."

With that Jason walked away whistling and Bruce stared down at Dick's crumpled form before bending over and picking him up. Sometimes he wondered about the sanity of his children. And his sanity for raising all of them under the same roof.

###

Settling Dick into a seat and buckling him in, Bruce decided that for Dick's safety, he should probably sit in the back seat and guard Dick's prone body. Who knows what kind of damage those boys would cause to his poor defenseless son while he was out cold.

Tim brought up the obvious by asking, "What happened to him?"

Bruce raised one eyebrow and Jason raised his hand up without an inkling of remorse. When Tim stared at him with wide eyes, Jason shrugged before he kicked his feet up on the front dash and rolled his eyes. "He was being annoying."

Damian huffed from his position on Dick's other side. "Grayson being annoying? What else is new. Though I am curious as to why this time warranted him being drugged."

As his sons debated Dick's various annoying personality traits and quirks, Bruce wondered briefly if the fact that his sons did not bat an eyelash at the prospect of one brother drugging the other meant he was a bad parent. He would have to ask Alfred later. The man had read more parenting books than he had.

###

The plane ride followed the same pattern. The three brothers arguing and debating topics constantly while Bruce dealt with a very cuddly Dick. Apparently, it did not matter if he was drugged or not. Dick was a cuddly person whether he was knocked out, or just asleep.

As he listened to their debates, Bruce realized just how much Dick mediated their conversations. He found a new appreciation for his eldest son, even if it was just because he kept his brothers from giving Bruce a headache.

###

Unloading the plane was awkward, because Bruce had to carry Dick and explain to the private driver that no Dick was not dead, and no he wasn't passed out drunk either. He just hated flying and took a strong sleep aid to get through the flight.

By the time that they got to the hotel, Bruce was thinking that Dick had had the right idea not wanting to come. He was beyond exhausted and the idea of taking his children into a theme park the next day made his head swim. Then there was the fact that they still had to explain everything to Dick.

As if on queue, Dick let out a small groan and shifted from his position on the bed. Bruce had rented out the presidential suit, which had three bedroom and four beds, meaning that he was once again bunking with his eldest son. He watched with something akin to fondness as Dick rolled off of the bed with a thunk.

Sitting up, Dick rubbed at his eyes and looked around blearily. It took a full ten seconds for Dick to realize that he was not in his room, but rather in an unfamiliar environment and that he was waking up from the affects of being drugged.

Dick jumped to his feet and made a move to rush to the door. It was then, that he seemed to notice Bruce. Relaxing, Dick sat down on the bed before realization dawned in his eyes and he sprang back onto his feet and pointed an accusing finger at Bruce's chest. "You drugged me! I can't believe you would violate my trust that way!"

Bruce watched as Dick began to pace and rant about the lack of trust that Bruce was exhibiting. It was amusing how calm Dick could act in the boardroom, but was now a stuttering mess. Deciding to take mercy on his son, he interrupted his rant. "Jason was the one who drugged you, and it was definitely against my permission. We had another talk about drugging people."

Dick gave a small smile. "And liken the last talk, and the one before that, I'm sure Jason did not listen to a single word." Dick looked around the room slowly. "Where are we? And why are we here?"

Bruce ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure if Dick had picked up that habit from him, or if he had picked it up from Dick. Either way, both of them ran their hands through their hair when they were nervous, and Dick was sure to pick up on that.

"Damian pointed out that you haven't been acting like yourself for some time now. And then Tim told me about the bank." Bruce spoke slowly, trying to chose his words carefully. He knew that he accidently the wrong things sometimes, and he was really trying not to mess up.

When Dick made no effort to respond, but rather looked down at his hands, Bruce continued. "It's okay to feel like this Dick. All of us do. I just hope that next time, you will tell someone." Swallowing slightly, Bruce forced himself to say the next sentence. "It doesn't even have to be me. You could tell one of your brothers or Alfred. Hell, tell Clark if you have to! Just tell someone."

Dick nodded and Bruce felt like an enormous weight that he hadn't known he was carrying was released. He really despised the idea of Dick rather talking to Clark than him, but he rather have Dick talk to someone than carry the weight of his burdens alone. "As for your second question, we are at Disneyland, because apparently it's the happiest place on Earth."

Dick smirked weakly. "Let me guess, it was Jason's idea. He has this whole theory that girls who are into Disney dig bad boys."

Bruce sighed. "Well I'm glad his motives for coming here were purely to help his brother." Glancing around, he added, "I'm going to check on everyone else. We're rooming together, Jason and Damian are rooming together, and Tim and Alfred are sharing the room with two beds. I'm pretty sure there is a pull out couch if Damian and Jason don't want to share a bed."

With one last fond look in Dick's direction, Bruce started to head for the door, only pausing when he heard Dick speak. "Bruce? I know you're more worried about me than you're letting on. I just wanted to let you know that I would've come and talked to you soon. I just wanted to process everything in my head first. And if I'm going to talk to anyone, it wouldn't be Clark or the boys or even Alfred. It would be you. Every time."

Bruce turned around briefly and gave Dick a small nod and managed in a very gruff voice to say, "Ditto Chum." Inside he felt like crying or jumping for joy, but outwardly gave Dick a small smile before exiting the room. If he had ever doubted it, he now knew for certain that he had won the lottery when it came to having Dick in his life. Hearing a large crash, Bruce sighed. He wasn't so sure he had won the lottery when it came to his other three sons, but he would never change a thing.

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 **A/N: I'm alive! Please don't kill me! Between doctors, two proms, and a boatload of other stuff, I completely spaced on updating this story. I'll have you know, that I when I wrote this chapter, I almost stopped it after Jason explains why he drugged Dick. But I kept going, and I think this was a better ending. Not really sure how many more segmants are going to be a part of this, maybe one or two?**


	30. Bringing Back a Smile (part 3)

**Bringing Back a Smile (Part 3)**

The day started off slow. Dick woke up sprawled across Bruce's chest and wrapped safely in his arms. That within itself was unusual because Bruce usually tried to shove him away in his sleep. Dick summarized that Bruce was probably more worried about him than he had imagined.

Shoving his father off of him gently, Dick sat up and sighed deeply. Normally he would be rejoicing at the prospect of Bruce actually cuddling him in his sleep, but he simply could not find the energy for it.

Logically, he knew that he needed a break. That a family vacation would be good for him and his spirits. That it would give him time to heal. But the non-logical side of him felt like taking a break was the opposite of what he needed. What if another child died because he was off playing in Disneyland.

Knowing that he was in fact, in dire need of a vacation, Dick stood up and got dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Slipping a pair of sunglasses in the collar of his shirt, Dick made his way into the small kitchenette of their hotel room. He highly doubted that Alfred was cooking, but he hoped that one of his brothers had already ordered room service, and more importantly, coffee.

His hopes were realized when he saw Tim sitting alone at the table with a mug of coffee and a book. Glancing up, Tim gave Dick a small smile before gesturing to the spot next to him where there was a mug of coffee and a bowl of cereal waiting.

Smiling his gratitude, Dick sat down and began to eat. He could feel the weight of Tim's stare on him, but decided to wait for the younger man to gather his thoughts. After five minutes, Tim finally spoke up. "Do you think we could have done anything? I keep replaying that bank robbery over and over in my head. I can't find a mistake that we made, but I must of missed something! How else would it have played out like that?"

Dick's eyebrows scrunched up. He hadn't realized that Tim was struggling with this too. Maybe if had been paying more attention to those around him, he would have noticed that Tim's pain rivaled his own. "We did everything right. The fact of the matter is that sometimes we can't save everyone."

"But if we'd been there five minutes earlier…"

"What if we hadn't shown up? Everybody might be dead then. What if I had gone in alone and one of the robbers got a lucky shot? What if that little boy had survived, but the trauma of the event had made him into the next Joker? The 'what if' game works both ways Tim." Dick stared down at his coffee like it had the answer to all of his questions. "We can't change the past, but we can learn from it."

"Take your own advice Dickhead." Jason glided into the kitchen with the rest of their family following close behind.

Dick felt himself begin to smile. "Sage words from Mr. Bad Boy Extraordinaire. Heard I had you to thank for this Disney trip. Not to mention the fact that you drugged me."

Placing his coffee down on the table, Jason slapped his hand hard on Dick's back. "You bet you do. Where's my thank you?"

"I'm not thanking you for drugging me Jason. And you only suggested Disneyland because you wanted to test the whole Disney girls liking bad boys theory." Dick raised an eyebrow before taking a casual sip of his coffee. He could hear the stifled laughter from Tim, and he took a moment to revel in the fact that he felt somewhat normal.

If it weren't for the slightest blush on Jason's cheeks, his next words would have been deceptively nonchalant. "I never said that I didn't have another reason for wanting to go to Disneyland. I figured this would be considered a win-win situation. You can get all whole and healed and I can get a girl."

Dick tried to suppress it, but he couldn't help but burst into laughter, which queued the rest of his family to start laughing too. As they continued to laugh, Dick felt a broken piece of his soul shift back into place. He was healing, and it felt amazing.

###

Entering the park was madness. While most of the children did not recognize them, their single mothers sure did. They were mobbed by grabbing hands and Dick blushed as some of the more daring women grabbed at his ass and between his legs. It was Damian who saved him by grabbing him and pulling him down to crawl through their legs. Surprisingly, they escaped unharmed. The only problem was that they were separated from the rest of the family. And then there was the fact that they were still highly recognizable and likely to be mobbed again.

Dick yanked the hood of his hoodie over his head and put on his sunglasses. Grabbing Damian's hand he dragged the boy to the closest store. Trying to seem casual, he grabbed two Goofy shirts, a pair of cheap sunglasses for Damian, and two Star Wars baseball caps. Tossing them at the cashier, he ignored the star-struck look the girl gave them.

As he finished paying, he noticed that the girl was trying to stealthily take a photo of him and Damian. "I'll pose for a selfie with you and give you a hundred bucks if you don't post the pictures until tonight."

The girl gave him a wide-eyed look before hesitantly nodding. "Deal."

Dick patiently posed for multiple pictures. A smiling picture, a picture of him kissing her cheek, a silly picture, and a serious picture. Needless to say, Damian was not very patient and did not believe his brother should be "whoring himself out for the sake of some privacy."

Dick shut him up by shoving the Goofy shirt over his head and placing the hat on his head before handing him the sunglasses. Quickly exchanging his shirt for the new one, Dick noted that it had tears from what appeared to be claws. Knowing it was beyond saving, Dick tossed it in the trash before putting on his hat and his sunglasses. He was fully aware that he was a celebrity cliche, but he decided that for his own safety, he had better put on the disguise.

Once again taking Damian's hand, Dick pulled him along to the line for the carousel. As expected they got on quickly, much to Damian's displeasure. The boy scowled fiercely as he chose the "finest steed suitable for a member of the House of Wayne."

Dick meanwhile stood next to him, like the other parents, even though all he wanted to do was choose a horse to ride on. He knew that would draw attention to them, so he settled on taking out his phone, and trying to locate the rest of his family.

 **Dick: Where the hell are you guys?**

 **Jason: Trying to escape the horny moms**

 **Tim: I'm hiding in a bathroom stall**

 **Bruce: They're following me!**

 **Jason: Just bang 'em in the bathroom...they'll leave you alone after**

 **Dick: Guys! Damian will read these texts!**

 **Damian: Grayson, Todd says worse daily**

 **Dick: Jason! Damian is a child!**

 **Jason: Uh oh.**

 **Tim: You said it**

 **Damian: GRAYSON! I AM NOT A CHILD! DO NOT MAKE ME REGRET SAVING YOU FROM THE MOB OF HARLOTS!**

 **Dick: Yet you're enjoying the carousel right now…**

 **Jason: Burn! You told him!**

 **Tim: Is little Damian enjoying the horses?**

 **Damian: &$ ?#%*!**

 **Bruce: We'll meet you guys at the carousel.**

Dick surveyed the scene excitedly. When he saw Bruce approaching with Tim, Jason, and Alfred, he let out a small squeal before running and tackling them in a hug. None of them returned the hug very enthusiastically, but Dick paid them no mind.

"Dude. What happened to your clothes?" Jason asked, making no effort to hide his distaste.

"We tried to disguise ourselves slightly." Dick explained, hoping to leave out some of the details.

Damian, on the other hand, did not seem to mind that he was humiliating his brother. "Grayson needed a new shirt because the harlots tore it. He proceeded to whore himself out to the cashier so that she would not post photos of us on social media."

Dick tried to hide his blush but if Jason's laughter was any clue, he was not successful. "I just took a few selfies with her! I didn't flirt or anything!"

Damian stomped his foot and yelled, "The kiss on the cheek proves otherwise Grayson!"

Dick took that moment to really observe his brother. His cheeks were flushed and he his eyebrows were scrunched together. Damian's arms were folded and his toes were tapping the ground once every second. With a start, Dick realized that Damian was uncomfortable with the fact that he had charmed his way out of having his photos posted until later.

Scooping Damian into his arms, he lifted the boy up till the boy automatically wrapped his legs around Dick's waist. "Don't worry Baby Bird! You'll always be more important than some girl." Seeing Tim, Jason, and even Bruce about to protest, Dick continued, " You will all always come before some girl. Mind you, if I ever get married or have kids, they might be a priority. But until then, you guys are my priority.

Dick watched in amusement as all three grudgingly accepted the conditions after a nasty glare from Alfred. He would never tell them that it warmed his heart that they all wanted to have his undivided attention. The information would go to their heads and he could not deal with them having a larger ego than they already did.

When Damian gave no sign that he wanted to be let down, Dick shook his head fondly before giving everyone a blinding grin. "So. Where do we want to go? I really want to ride Dumbo."

Dick tried to hide his amusement at the simultaneous groans he heard, before forsaking it, and bursting into laughter. His family might be a bunch of misfits that no sane person would ever pair together, but they made it work.

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 **A/N: So...what did you think? Let me know by reviewing! And to those of you who caught the Grey's Anatomy reference, congratulations!**


	31. Bringing Back a Smile (part 4)

**Bringing Back a Smile (Part 4)**

If Dick could think straight, he would say it was hot. As it was, he was only aware of his brain melting out of his ears. Glancing at his family, he observed that they all appeared to be on the same boat as he was. All except for Alfred, but that was to be expected.

Pointing half-heartedly at the long line for Splash Mountain, Dick watched as everyone but Alfred went to stand in the line. After all, it would hardly be appropriate for Alfred's pristine suit to get wet.

They, on the other hand, were all wearing white shirts because Alfred had said that it would be easier to find them and it would make for a better photo. Jason had wanted to wear his leather jacket over it, but had quickly changed his mind after stepping out into the muggy heat.

The line thankfully moved quickly and Dick was relieved to sit down in the wet seat, knowing full well that he was about to be soaking wet. Even Damian looked relieved to be sitting in the wet seat, and he normally would try and look annoyed just to be obstinate. Dick couldn't help but give Damian a fond smile. His brother was the human incarnation of Grumpy Cat. He was just too cute for his own good.

The ride sadly did not last as long as Dick would have liked. On the bright side, he was completely soaked to the bone when he got off the raft. The world suddenly seemed like a much happier place. Here he was enjoying himself, on a hot summer's day, soaking wet, with everyone he loved surrounding him. If Jason could read his thoughts, he would say something along the lines of Dick puking rainbows.

Noticing multiple female gazes focused on him, Dick looked down at himself. Eyes widening in realization, Dick yanked on Bruce's sleeve. "Uh. Guys?"

Not bothering to turn around, Bruce continued to stare at the map in his hands. "Yes Dick? Do you have any input for where we should go next?"

"Bruce. I think we have a problem." Dick whispered. Was it just him, or were there suddenly more people staring at them? And were they getting closer?

"What now, Dickhead?" Jason taunted. Normally Dick would have a snappy remark for that, but he was pretty sure that some of the girls were drooling.

"Um. I think we accidently participated in a wet tshirt contest. And I think we may have some very aggressive admirers." Dick glanced around subtly, noticing his family copying his movements.

"Sometimes, I think it's a curse to be this good-looking." Jason sighed sadly.

"We can discuss that later! Run!" Tim yelled. Dick thought he was being a little dramatic, but seeing as the women and a few men pounced a few moments later, Dick decided that it was probably a good thing that they took off running when they did. Seriously. Disneyland is a family theme park. There is no room for pouncing on unsuspecting men because they might be extraordinarily handsome and their bodies are defined in a way that would make Michelangelo's David jealous.

As if they were living in some sort of cartoon, they were followed by a mob that would make most men envious. Dick would later swear up and down that some of them had heart shaped eyes and were salivating in a way that made Dick feel like he was a piece of Prime Rib. He decided that he would never again objectify a woman.

It was lucky that they were the Bat Clan, it was the only way that they were able to outrun and outmaneuver the mob. They ended up hiding behind newspapers and waiting for the mob to rush past them before they snuck into a shop and bought themselves disguises.

Deciding to split up, Dick quickly grabbed Jason's arm before tugging him in the direction of the Matterhorn. A good roller coaster would probably work wonders in cheering him up slightly. He knew that he doted on Damian more so than Tim and Jason, so he figured that he would spend some quality time with Jason.

Jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, he grinned brightly at Jason. "What do you think Jay? Are we gonna have fun or what?"

"I think you took too many of those crazy pills Dickhead." Jason said nonchalantly. He stretched slightly, allowing his shirt to ride up. He smirked at the gawking women, a winked suggestively.

Dick whacked Jason's stomach hard and shot him a hard look. "Dude. We were just chased around by a bunch of crazy chicks. Are you seriously flirting right now?"

Jason paused for a moment considering Dick's words. "Just because those chicks got a little obsessed does not mean that the rest of them will."

Dick snorted. "The fact that you're only calling them a little obsessed speaks volumes about you."

"Whatever. Just because you don't have to work for it, doesn't mean the rest of us don't. Come on, we're next in line. I really want to hear you scream like a little girl Golden Boy."

###

Dick watched with mild disgust as Jason shoved another hotdog into his mouth. It was the third one and Dick could feel himself getting nauseous. He had never realized what a snob he had become. As a kid, he had eaten anything and everything that was served to him, now, he only ate meals fit for a Wayne. That's not to say that he didn't enjoy small dinners and family restaurants. He just didn't enjoy extremely greasy or fried foods.

Deciding that he should probably look away from Jason eating his fifth hotdog, Dick grabbed his phone. Right away he noticed that he had multiple alerts from snapchat. Deciding to ignore the Friend requests, the snaps from his 'friends' from Gotham, and even those from the Superhero community, he clicked open the group chat titled Bros Before Hoes (and Bruce).

There he found a snap from Damian of Bruce looking utterly nauseated on the Teacups, a picture of Alfred calmly hanging upside down on the pirate ship, and a few ridiculous photos using the Snapchat filters. Dick screenshotted almost all of the photos before sending a photo of Jason eating hotdog number ten.

Deciding he should send one of himself, he lifted his arm up to take a selfie, only to find three girls posing in the picture with him. Lowering his phone, he turned around with a confused look on his face. "Um...I'll take a photo with you guys if you ask, but this one is for my brothers. It's not being published anywhere."

"Wait what? We thought you were trying to subtly take a photo with us!" One of the girls exclaimed. All three girls had different hairstyles Dick noted. The one who had talked had pigtails, one had her hair in a simple ponytail, and the other had a short pixie cut. He blamed Barbara for the fact that he knew what each of the hairstyles were called. Despite her belief, he did not think the information would ever be useful. Unless he went undercover as a gay hairstylist.

"No offense, but why would I want to take a photo with you guys. Normally, its people who want to take photos with me." Dick scratched the back of his head. He felt like he should recognize them. He didn't think they lived in Gotham though.

"Dick, you didn't tell me you knew the Golden Girls of Hollywood! The three sisters that have taken the film industry by storm!" Jason whisper shouted as he approached. The girls preened under the praise, and Dick resisted the urge to shudder slightly. They were still new enough to their fame that being recognized was not cringe-worthy.

"Honestly Jay, I just met them when they tried to photobomb my Snapchat. And you know me. I don't really follow Hollywood the way you and Tim do. I had no idea that they were famous!"

"Seriously Dick. We meet these people all the time, the least you could do is know their names. And maybe what movie they starred in."

"I don't have time for that stuff. Between work and friends, not to mention social obligations, and spending quality time with my family."

Their argument was interrupted by the girl with the pixie cut. "Wait. You seriously have no idea who we are?"

Dick cocked his head to the side and gave her a confused look. "Should I? I don't think we've met before."

Ponytail put her hands on her hips and said, "My name is Lindsey Carmichael, and these are my sisters Julia and Ariel." She gestured to pixie and pigtails respectively.

"Okay. That's nice. My name's Dick and this is my brother Jason." Dick knew that it was sort of mean to play with them like this, but it was sort of funny seeing their egos take a bruising.

Jason of course ruined his fun by punching him hard in the arm. "I'm sorry ladies. My brother can be a real douche sometimes. He's just messing with you now. But as you probably have gathered by now, we too are important in the world."

"Oh?" Ariel asked with a raised eyebrow.

Dick smirked slightly and raised a shoulder. "Like I said. I'm Dick, and that's Jason."

"Sop mocking them Dickhead. My name is Jason Todd and the giant dick is my brother Richard 'Dick' Grayson." Jason said, raising one arm and lazily scratching the back of his head.

"Wait. Richard Grayson and Jason Todd as in Bruce Wayne's sons? I follow you guys on social media. The security footage of the cake fight at that gala was amazing! I favorited it and everything! You're one of the one hundred people I follow on social media! Oh my God! This is so cool!"

All three girls started chatting amiably. Dick leaned over and whispered, "Are you sure it was a good idea that we told them who we are. They're acting like the crazy people that mobbed and chased us earlier."

"But these chicks are hot and famous. Totally different." Jason whispered back.

"That means that they have more means to stalk us with. I really don't think this is a good idea." Dick whispered back. Louder he said, "Hey girls, why don't we take a photo to commemorate this moment. After that, we'll head our separate ways. We really have to meet up with everyone else."

"Wait. You mean Bruce, Tim, Damian, and Alan the Butler are all here?" Julia asked in excitement. Seeing Dick's hesitant nod, she continued. "We are free, so why don't you guys introduce us?"

Jason frowned. "First off, his name is Alfred, not Alan. And second of all, we did not invite you guys."

Dick wrapped an arm around Jason's shoulders. "Look girls. I'm sure you're nice and all, but you're really not our types."

"Oh really? And what type is that?" Ariel demanded.

"Obsessive stalkers who think they belong in our lives." Jason murmured.

Dick elbowed him sharply in the gut. "We're really not looking for relationships."

Jason growled before shoving Dick slightly. "Speak for yourself Dickhead!"

Dick elbowed him again. Jason really did not know when to shut up. "Especially with people that would thrust us more into the spotlight than we already are."

"We'd be the best thing that'd ever happen to you Richard. We wouldn't mind sharing you." Lindsey purred.

"Oh come on! Why are you always the one who ends up getting propositioned?" Jason demanded. Dick really had to teach the man how to get his priorities straight. Now was really not the time. Later, when they were in another state, they could talk about this.

"I don't know man! Maybe because you're only nineteen? Let's talk about this later. For now, run!"

Dick honestly did not know how he got himself into these situations. If he didn't love Bruce or his brothers as much as he did, he would have rejoined the circus and escaped all of this publicity. He could see it now, tomorrow's headlines would be: **Carmichael Sisters: Obsessive Fans, or Enraged Girlfriends?**

Finding the line to It's a Small World nonexistent, Jason and Dick raced aboard, hoping that the girls would not notice them. To make themselves less obvious, Jason wrapped an arm around Dick's shoulder and Dick leaned his head against Jason's. "You know, anyone who see's us is going to get the wrong idea."

Dick sighed. "I don't mind. We'll just do an interview with Clark and Lois where we explain that crazy fans were chasing us and that we wanted to throw them off. We can quote the Black Widow on that."

"Dickhead. I don't think that they will accept a movie as a reason why we know evasive techniques."

Dick sighed. His brother was such an idiot. Sometimes he wondered how they could be related, then he would remember that they weren't. "Jason. That's when we say something along the lines of, 'Oh and you're such an expert on invasive techniques. What are you Superman in disguise or something?' That will have Clark off that line of questioning so fast that you'd think he was Barry."

Jason nodded thoughtfully. "And to think that Tim calls you the pretty one. All face, but no brains."

"He what!" Dick yelped. His own brother thought he was an idiot? More so than Jason?

Jason slapped the back of his head. "Not the point Dick! Just text everyone. We need to meet up and get out of this hellhole."

Dick took out his phone. "Fine. Whatever. We are not done with this though. I am too the smart one. Look at my GPA, and my tech savviness, and"

Jason rubbed his temples with both hands. "Dick!"

Dick held up a hand in surrender. "Okay! Okay! I'm texting them. Sheesh. Can't a guy get a break?"

 **Dick: Just got chased by famous sisters…**

 **Dick: Need to meet up and get out of here**

 **Damian: Were they suitable for the house of Wayne**

 **Tim: Not the point Damian**

 **Bruce: We'll meet back up at the hotel**

 **Bruce: I think it's time to go home**

 **Bruce: Next time we'll vacation somewhere where people won't recognize us**

 **Dick: Private island with us as the only occupants?**

 **Bruce: Deal**

Dick looked up from his phone. "So Jay. We'll meet them at the hotel. Think we can outmaneuver any potential stalkers and arrive safely?"

"I think that we'd be sad excuses for heroes if couldn't." Jason gave a large smirk, and Dick knew that whatever happened in the next half hour could either be hysterically funny, tons of fun, or a disaster. However, he did not voice his concerns, rather he gave Jason a large smirk in return. He was definitely in, no matter what the plan was.

###

Dick slumped into his seat on the private plane. As much as he appreciated the thought that went into bringing him to Disneyland, he was so glad that he was going home to Gotham. He was also glad that only Jason knew what had happened after they had separated. He really hoped Jason would maintain the bro code and not tell anyone.

Apparently, that was too much too much to ask for. Jason gleefully explained the day's events much to Dick's discomfort. How Dick did not recognize the Carmichael sisters. How they offered Dick a foursome. How they turned out to be crazy obsessive fans and they had to run for their lives. How Dick was upset by the idea that Tim did not think he was smart. And how exactly they made it back to the hotel.

"First, we were on one of those tour buses. We 'borrowed' the employee uniform and kidnapped the actual employee so that we could take his place. We then would announce fake sightings of our family all over the park. It was so funny, people would go rushing in whatever direction we said. That didn't last long because someone finally figured out that we were actually not employees, but rather two of the Waynes. We barely escaped with our lives.

"So then we decided to get the best disguises possible. I broke into the employee's locker room, and we 'borrowed the Chip and Dale costumes. It was amazing. We were in a sea of people looking for us but all they could see were two amazingly adorable and funny chipmunks."

Bruce rubbed his temples. "That would explain the Chip and Dale costumes that were discarded on the floor of the hotel room. Why didn't you just have security escort you out like we did?"

Jason shrugged unapologetically. "That sounds like way less fun. Besides, I took pictures!"

Tim looked over to where Dick was trying to find a way to turn invisible. "Did you have fun?"

Dick didn't even have to think about it. "Of course I did. The best part of it was that you guys were here with me. Even if we had a few issues with some stalkers. And limited privacy. Really. It was a great trip and I'm glad that you guys took me."

The three brothers gave small satisfied nods and Dick looked over at Bruce. The man gave a small smile and nodded over to where his three brothers were all nodding off in their respective seats.

Bruce rolled his eyes upward which Dick knew meant _Thank God they aren't fighting._ In response he shrugged a shoulder which Bruce would interpret as _Things are never boring because of them._ Bruce in return cut his gaze to the boys and back, telling Dick, _You should join them in the land of dreams._ Dick lifted his eyebrows. _I will if you will._ Bruce rolled his eyes and shrugged before closing his eyes. _Deal Chum. No nightmares, okay?_ Dick gave a soft smile before he too, closed his eyes. _Ditto. Bruce._

Dick closed his eyes and smiled softly. He relaxed and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep quickly and soundlessly, knowing, that everyone he loved were safe and happy.

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 **A/N: So...That's a wrap! To those of you who noticed the references, congratulations! Anyways, let me know what you think and what you want to see next!**

 **Thank you so much _Dragoscilvio_ for the wonderful prompt idea. I hoped you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Peace out and happy reading guys!**


	32. The Art of Remembering

**The Art of Remembering**

It started out as a joke. A joke that may have gotten a little out of hand, but a joke nonetheless. During a fight with the newest 'villain' in Gotham, Dick had managed to get himself thrown headfirst off of a building. Like the amazing acrobat that he was, he had managed to save himself, but still ended up hitting his head on a streetlight and getting a nasty bump. When he checked his phone and realized that it was midnight, Dick decided that it was the perfect time to pull a prank on his family. It was officially April 1st, after all.

Dick sprawled himself out on the pavement. It was a hot muggy night in Gotham, and the cement felt nice against his hot skin. It would also add to dramatic effect when his family arrived. It was also nice just to relax for a moment.

Jason came first. "Get up Dickhead. You missed all the fun. Get your lazy ass up already."

Dick cocked his head to the side slightly. "Who are you? And why are you wearing spandex? Wait. Why am I wearing spandex?"

"Nice try Dickhead. Get up already?" Jason ordered. Dick just stared at him blankly. "Hey Dick? Stop messing around already. You're freaking me out."

Dick squinted up at him. "Stop calling me names already. Or should I call you Mr. Asshat? Sheesh. You just meet a guy and he's already calling you a dick!"

Dick smirked internally. He knew that that would solidify his amnesia in Jason's mind. They often had the argument on whether or not Dick would be able to recognize when people were calling him a dick or just calling his name. Dick had always argued that he instinctively knew the difference, he just pretended otherwise.

As expected Jason took off his helmet and pressed on his comm. "Uh, guys? We have a small situation here. Dickhead seems to have amnesia."

###

Dick watched blankly as Alfred checked him over. He was hoping that the older man would go along with it, but if he didn't, seeing Bruce, Tim, Jason, and Damian, all struggling to fight their way into the room with him would be worth it. He had managed to use Alfred as a shield so that none of them would notice him taking a photo. Alfred noticed of course, but he just smirked slightly and shook his head.

Finally, Alfred seemed to be appeased with his examination. "It appears Master Dick has amnesia from the head trauma."

Jason's eye twitched slightly. "Tell us something we don't know! Like when he'll remember that he owes me twenty bucks!" Jason shrinked slightly as he noticed all the glares being sent his way. "Sorry Alfred. Do you know when he'll get his memory back?"

Alfred began to put all the medical supplies back. "I don't know young sir. Perhaps within a day. It all depends when the brain swelling goes down. However, I recommend that all of you spend the day together. I am a firm believer that being around those you love will jog the memory." With that Alfred left the room, sending a sly wink in Dick's direction.

Dick grinned internally as his family started to fuss over him and baby him. He reveled in their attention as they started to tell him funny memories and stories of things that they've done together. This was definitely the best April Fool's Day prank ever.

###

It had only been five hours since Alfred had declared him to have amnesia, and Dick could say without a doubt that his family was driving him insane. He had never believed people when they said that there was such a thing of too much family time. But now he could say that those people were geniuses. His family was beyond suffocating him and he could hardly go to the bathroom without at least two of them following him.

If that wasn't annoying enough, Bruce insisted on going through every family photo album that Alfred had ever created. Every embarrassing moment, every fashion mistake, every kitchen disaster, right there for the world to see.

He didn't care anymore about his prank. He was done. His family had officially smothered him with love. He hadn't known that it was possible to be loved too much, but his family had done it. He supposed that that was the way of the Bat Clan. Making the impossible possible in the blink of an eye.

Groaning slightly, he tried to pull himself out of his cocoon of blankets and pillows. "That's enough! I'm fine! Thanks for ruining April Fool's Day for me."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Dude. We didn't really believe you had amnesia. The timing was too perfect. Getting amnesia on April first? Fat chance. We were just messing with you."

Dick blinked. It had never occurred to him that his family might smother him with love to mess with him. That was a better prank than faking amnesia! "Man you guys got me. I never expected you guys to be so overbearing on purpose."

Damian scoffed before jutting his chin up superiorly. "Ttt. It was a combined effort. Although it was hard to stay in character and be so affectionate, I managed for the sake of my mission."

"Seriously. You guys got me good. What if I wasn't faking it?"

Bruce sighed. "Then we would have felt like a bunch of assholes. And we would have never told you the real reason we were being so overbearing."

Tim took a deep breath. "Look. It's still early. Are we going to continue pranking each other all day? Or are we going to agree not to prank each other and watch a movie marathon?"

Dick shrugged. "Movie marathon sounds good to me. To be honest, I'm kinda done with the pranking thing today."

"That's because your pranks are terrible Grayson." Damian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, but Dick could see the barest hint of a smile cross his lips.

"For once I agree with the Demon Brat." Jason added helpfully.

Bruce sighed. Several times deeply. "Think the Old Man is having some sort of stroke?" Jason whispered loudly to Tim.

Tim shrugged. "I was thinking some sort of aneurysm. Think we should go and get Alfred for his professional medical opinion?"

"Nobody is getting Alfred." Bruce declared. Rubbing his temples, he continued. "No more pranks today. We are all going to sit in the den and watch some movies together. And before you ask, we will take turns picking the movie."

Dick grinned. "Sounds good Boss." He gave Bruce a quick hug before turning to his brothers. "Race you guys to the den!"

Bruce watched as the four boys raced off. He could hear crashing noises coming from the hallways, but decided to take the win where he could get it. Even if it was at the price of a priceless Ming vase.

He was about to leave when Alfred appeared beside him holding a large bowl of popcorn. "I will bring more shortly, Sir. I do believe this will be an adequate amount to start you off though."

"Thank you Alfred. Your idea of bombarding Dick with affection worked wonders. I thought that he would hold out longer before calling it quits."

Alfred turned to leave. "Master Dick is not used to receiving so much attention. It must have been quite overwhelming for him. Although I do suppose that your plan was for a family movie marathon instead of endless pranking?"

Bruce smirked slightly. "Hopefully this will start a new family tradition. Thanks for the popcorn Alfred."

Alfred let out a dry chuckle as Bruce walked away. The boys may be unaware that Bruce had played them so that he would not be on the receiving end of any pranks this year, but even Bruce was ignorant that he had been played. After all, it was a pain to clean up after all the pranks. Not to mention the retaliation that he would have to plan when he inevitably got caught in the crosshairs.

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 **A/N: So...what did you think? Thank you _Rayany Amor_ for the wonderful idea, although this is probably not what you had in mind when you suggested it. Please review, and if you have any questions, prompt ideas, or just want to say _hi_ leave a review or PM me!**


	33. Into Thin Air

**Into Thin Air**

Dick's morning routine was quite simple. He woke up, brushed his teeth, showered, got dressed, made sure all his brothers were awake, ate breakfast, and then left for work. It was the perfect routine, and it allowed him to see each of his brother's grumpy faces in the morning.

So when he popped his head into Jason's room to find that the younger man was not there, he found it unusual but not completely out of the ordinary. It was likely that Jason had pulled an all-nighter to finish some sort of project for school. Or that he had had a nightmare that had woken him up in the early morning hours.

Dick thought nothing of it until he headed into the dining room to find that Jason was not hunched over a cup of coffee. Turning to Alfred he asked, "Have you seen Jason this morning? He wasn't in his room. I thought he was already awake."

Alfred raised one perfectly kept eyebrow. "Master Jason has yet to come downstairs to the best of my knowledge." Which was pretty much the same as saying that he hadn't come downstairs. Alfred was all-knowing after all.

Dick raced up the stairs, barely dodging Bruce, Tim, and Damian. All three of them yelled profanities after him, but Dick paid them no mind. Bursting into Jason's room, he noted the made bed, and open window. Jason never made his bed. Unless he wasn't planning on coming back!

Dashing back down the stairs, Dick ran into the kitchen. "Jason made his bed! And his window's open! He's gone!"

Bruce choked on his coffee. "What do you mean he made his bed? And what do mean gone?"

"He's gone! Vanished! Poof!" Dick exclaimed, waving wildly. They weren't understanding the gravity of the situation. Jason was gone.

Damian scoffed. "So Todd left early. Big deal. Can we get on with our meal?"

Surprisingly, it was Tim who explained why it was a big deal to Damian. "Listen Demon Brat, you weren't here the last time Jason disappeared. When he disappears, he usually doesn't come back willingly. Last time he vanished, he ended up going on a killing spree. Or at least he would have if we hadn't sedated him."

Damian stilled. "So Todd could create a problem for the House of Wayne?"

Dick nodded solemnly. This could definitely cause a problem for them. Bruce stood up rapidly. "I want every cape on high alert for Jason. Tim, check the Batcave. Make sure we're not looking for Red Hood. Damian, put those animals to good use. Give them something of Jason's and have them track his smell. Alfred, set up headquarters in the dining room. I want everybody able to check in and coordinate here. Dick, time to use that superpower of yours. Every single hero that has ever considered you a friend needs to be here in Gotham looking for Jason. And under no circumstances do we alert the media! They catch word of this, and CPS will become a permanent fixture in our lives."

###

Jason was not sure what was happening. One moment he was having a heart to heart with Roy Harper, the next he was being detained by Superman of all people. To make matters worse, Superman would not let go of his hand despite Jason's very clear insinuation that he would lose it if he continued touching him.

Jason moodily observed that Superman had brought him to the Wayne Manor and that it seemed to be crawling with Superheroes. Superman delivered him to the dining room where there seemed to be some sort of command center set up. Jason noted that Alfred was the one manning the station and that he was recalling the heroes scouring the city.

Tapping his foot impatiently, Jason counted down in his head. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Right on queue, his family burst through the door and rushed over to him. Jason was lifted off the floor as Dick hugged him, which didn't make much sense considering the older man was a shrimp in comparison to Jason's superior height and weight.

When Dick finally set him down, Bruce began to question him. "Where were you? We were looking for you all day! Something could've happened to you, not to mention how worried we were!"

Jason blinked. Was the ever calm and emotionless Bruce Wayne worried about his well being? "Old Man, were you worried?"

Bruce growled. "You've been known to cause problems when you disappear."

Jason scowled. It was true. Hurtful, but true. "I couldn't sleep. We were out of the relaxing chamomile mint tea, so I went to buy some. Guy pick pocketed me, so I pick pocketed him back. Went on for a while till I clocked him. Then Roy spotted me and said we needed to talk. So we went to his apartment. We talked for a long time. Guy needed to vent. We were still talking when Superman busted in on us and took me hostage."

Dick's eyes became stary. "So you didn't run away? You weren't planning on leaving us?"

Jason rolled his eyes. Leave it to Dick to focus on the wrong thing. Granted, it worked out for him. Bruce was now officially distracted by Dick's nonsense. They were both quietly discussing who knows what, using gestures to convey their meaning. Nobody knew what they were talking about except the two of them. And maybe Alfred. The man knew way more than he let on.

Tim took Bruce and Dick's distraction as an opportunity to approach Jason. "Glad you didn't go crazy Jason. Would've been boring around here without you."

Jason watched surprised as Tim walked away. As far as he had known, Tim had always disliked him and Damian. Or at least, Tim hadn't adored him the way he adored Dick and Bruce.

Damian walked up next. "While I do not find you suitable to carry the Wayne name, I am glad that you are not dead. Or more crazy than usual."

Jason blinked. That was more than surprising. Damian said something that was somewhat nice. And it didn't include a death threat. This day just kept getting better and better by the minute.

Smiling, he watched as Bruce and Dick continued their silent conversation, Tim and Damian started arguing, Alfred served food to the countless heroes in their dining room, and said heroes tried to observe the Bat clan in their natural habitat discretely. While it definitely wasn't the average day in the life of a Wayne, it certainly was an interesting one, and one that he wouldn't trade for anything. Come to think of it, Jason didn't think that he would trade any day with his family for anything, despite their issues, arguments, and various psychoses. They were a family. One that he had chosen, and therefore they were more close than any other family he knew.

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 **A/N: Thank you _rpglady76_ for the wonderful prompt. Hope you guys liked the story. Please review!**


	34. A Father's Day To Remember

**A Father's Day To Remember**

Bruce sighed. Staring out of the window of his private jet, he contemplated just what he would find inside his house when he arrived. He had, after all, missed Father's Day to attend a conference in Berlin. His boys had suggested that they attend with him, but he had turned them down. Now, he was wondering if that was the wrong decision. He knew that the boys would go over the top to celebrate Father's Day a week late. More specifically, Dick would go over the top.

Bruce rubbed his temples before rubbing his jaw. He needed to shave. And to take a nap. Hopefully, his boys would allow him to. More importantly, he hoped that his boys would not go crazy with the whole Father's Day thing. He really didn't see the point of the holiday. Everyday was Father's Day in his family. He really didn't need a holiday to celebrate him.

He wrinkled his nose slightly as he deboarded the plane and climbed into the awaiting limo. He would have to wait and see what his sons had planned for him. Hopefully, it would be a pleasant surprise and not something that he'd have to fake a smile for.

###

As the limo pulled into the driveway, Bruce felt himself paling. His manor, his home had turned into a giant waterpark. Waterslides turned and twisted down the sides of his manor. The front lawn had turned into a giant slip and slide. And there was a giant banner hanging from the roof of the manor reading _Happy Father's Day, Bruce!_

Bruce climbed out of the limo cautiously. He watched as his four boys came running towards him, dripping wet, and with eager smiles on their faces. As soon as soon as they stopped in front of them, Jason and Damian schooled their expressions so that they looked neutral and not eager. Tim kept a small smile on his face, but Dick still had a huge grin on his face. Bruce barely had time to brace himself before Dick launched himself at him. Bruce almost fell over as all one hundred and fifty seven pounds and five feet eleven inches of his son latched itself onto his body like a tumor.

Patting Dick on the head, he stared at his waterpark. Jason noticed, and smirked. "Dickhead said that we had to make sure it was a Father's Day to remember. Apparently, it's your fifteenth Father's Day together, and he wanted it to be special. Personally, I think that's too sappy, but I got a waterpark out of it, so I don't really care."

Bruce tried to shrug Dick off of him, but couldn't get the man to budge. Apparently, fifteen years together also had allowed the man to become an expert parasite. Maybe a better description was a starved octopus.

Deciding that he was not going to bother prying Dick off of him, Bruce shuffled to each of his less enthusiastic sons and patted them each on the head, making sure to ruffle their hair, much to their annoyance.

Shuffling slightly further, Bruce turned around to look at watch each of his charges. Raising an eyebrow, he broke the silence by asking, "Are we going to test out these bad boys are yet? Or are we going to wait until next year? And please tell me that these are not a permanent feature in our lives."

Dick finally let go of Bruce and stood up on his own two feet. "We have them for a week before they take them down again. And if you haven't noticed yet, we've been testing them out all day."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I noticed. There's a wet spot the size of texas on my suit."

Damian scoffed. "Father, that suit was nothing to be proud of. The idiot tailer made the shoulders two centimeters two wide."

Everyone stared at Damian before Jason cleared his throat. "Why don't you put on your swim trunks Old Man? I want to get this party started!"

Bruce blinked and then rolled his eyes. "I'm going. Give me five, okay?"

The boys grudgingly gave their consent and Bruce headed into the manor. The real reason he wanted to go inside was because he had his own father to thank. He found Alfred in his office. "Happy Father's Day, old friend."

Alfred smiled softly and said, "And to you too."

Bruce shook his head and jogged up the stairs to his bedroom. Changing quickly, he ran back down the stairs and out the door. As much as he had been dreading it earlier, he decided it was time to embrace his life for what it was. Full of love, hate, joy, tears, and everything else that his four boys brought along with them.

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 **A/N: So I graduated! That's why I haven't been updating recently. Anyways...I really need prompts. I just don't know what to write anymore. I mean I have a few ideas...but nothing that's really speaking to me right now if that makes any sense. I am aware that I probably sound insane...but its the truth and I could really use your help. Thanks in advance! XOXO**


	35. The Call Home

**The Call Home**

Dick was bored. Very bored. He knew that his boredom would probably get him into trouble, but somehow, he couldn't seem to bring himself to care. He was supposed to be busy. He was at work after all! But Bruce was on a business trip without him (not that he cared or was hurt that Bruce hadn't invited him.)

Normally, this would be the time that he visited his brothers and asked them to put him to work, but they had decided that school was a priority for them. Losers. Entertaining him should be their top priority.

Sighing, he went to stand by his window again. If there was one thing to be grateful for, it was the amazing view that his office had. That and the fact that it was down the hall from Bruce's. Wait, Bruce's office. That was the key to exercising his boredom.

Grinning, Dick casually headed down the hall and walked into Bruce's office. Sitting at Bruce's desk, Dick started sifting through his drawers. He was pleasantly surprised to find an envelope taped to the top of his drawer. Studying it, Dick noted the worn paper that signified that Bruce opened the envelope often. Deciding to open it, Dick gasped when he saw the contents. All the Father's day cards, Christmas cards, and Birthday cards that him and his brothers had ever written were neatly stacked within. In addition, there were a few old photographs. There was one of Dick first arriving at the manor, his first paintball battle, Jason playing video games, Tim and his first chemistry set, Damian's first day of school, all four of them at the pool, and all of them pranking Bruce were among the few that stood out.

Dick wiped a tear carefully from the corner of his eye. He would never ever tell Bruce that he had found the envelope. While Bruce would get adorably awkward, he would disappear to that Batcave for a week and come out more gruff than he had been in a long time. Alfred said that he was rebuilding the wall around his heart. Personally, Dick didn't think it could get much bigger. It already rivaled The Great Wall of China.

Carefully, Dick placed the cards and photos back into the envelope in the order that he found them in. It was almost guaranteed that Bruce knew the order of the envelope's contents, and it would be amature of him to get caught because of it.

Taping the envelope back into its original position, Dick was just about to start digging through the next drawer, when Bruce's office phone rang. Dick eyed it suspiciously. Was Bruce paranoid to call his office phone to catch him in the act of riffling through his stuff? The answer was undoubtedly yes. But what if it was someone else. A hermit that didn't get the memo that Bruce Wayne was currently in Tokyo? What if it was important?

Taking a deep breathe, Dick answered the phone with a phony french accent. Hopefully, if it was Bruce, he wouldn't recognize him. Although that seemed to be highly unlikely. "Bruce Wayne's office. How may I be of assistance?"

A female throat cleared. "Hi. Can you put Mr. Wayne on the phone. This is Ms. Cassidey, I'm the secretary at Gotham Prep. All three of his sons are in the office currently."

Dick couldn't help it. He swore. Multiple times. In about five different languages. Switching to his normal voice he said, "Hi Ms. Cassidey. This is Dick Grayson. Apparently the school did not get informed about Bruce's business trip to Tokyo."

There was a pause before Ms. Cassidey let out a nervous giggle. "I'm so sorry Mr Grayson. All three boys informed us of the situation, but Jason frequently claims that Mr. Wayne is out of town, so we stopped believing him."

Dick face palmed. He really hoped that the secretary could not hear it on the other side of the line, but he just couldn't believe that Jason didn't have the creative ability to come up with a better excuse. The guy lied for a living and that was the best that he could come up with?

Sighing, Dick started to reach for his phone and keys, when he realized that he had left them in his own office. "I'll be there as soon as I can. I should be authorized to sign them out."

There was the sound of keys clicking before Ms. Cassidey responded. "It looks like you are listed as the second contact after your father."

Dick closed his eyes. He was grateful that Bruce trusted him that much, but this was seriously going to be a pain in the ass. Bruce better bring him home a nice present. And take him on a nice trip. Without the kids.

Saying good-bye to the secretary, Dick jogged down the hall and into his office. Deciding that he best try and look professional, Dick shrugged on his sports coat and grabbed the hat he had decided to wear on a whim. Grabbing his keys, phone, and wallet, Dick hurried down the stairs. He may be on the top floor, but there was just something about elevators that he didn't like. He only took it if he had too.

Pausing for a moment, Dick unlocked his phone and dialed Bruce. He didn't care that it was technically around one in the morning. If he had to deal with this mess, then so did Bruce. Unfortunately, Bruce did not seem to get the memo. Dick had to call him three times before the man decided to pick up his phone.

"Hello?"

Bruce's voice was groggy, and Dick almost felt bad for calling him. Almost. "Finally! I had to call three times for you to pick up! Did you forget about me already? First you decide not to take me on a business trip with you, and now you forget that I exist! Wow. Good job Dad. Good job."

Bruce grunted, and Dick could imagine him flopping back onto his bed, both relieved and annoyed that he hadn't been called because the world was ending in Gotham. "It's one a.m. Dick. I'm jet lagged, and it took me a while to find my phone."

Sighing dramatically Dick reached his car and started the engine. "Look. I'm not calling to ask how many shots of sake you had. I'm calling because all three of my brother's managed to get sent to the principal. Apparently, the secretary didn't believe that you were away."

"So how did you get the call? Don't they usually call my office, then my cell phone?"

Dick was so glad that the light had turned red and he was dutifully stopped, because if not, he would have swerved into oncoming traffic. How could he have been that careless? "Well...I may have been in your office because I missed you. And it is not out of the realm of possibility that I answered your phone using a fake french accent." Dick figured it was safer to say that he missed Bruce rather than he was bored and decided to snoop.

Bruce sighed before saying, "Dick. When I get back, we're having a talk about personal boundaries. Again."

Dick pouted. "I rather get the sex talk again. At least you were as uncomfortable as I was."

"Dick. Just try to keep your brothers from being expelled."

Pulling up in front of the school, Dick parked and leaned back in his seat rubbing his eyes. "You owe me so big for this one Old Man. I expect to be paid with a nice 'business trip.' Just the two of us. Something tells me that after today I won't want to see my brothers for a little while."

For a moment, Dick was afraid that Bruce had hung up on him. The man was far too quiet. Then Bruce cleared his throat slightly and said, "Deal Chum. I do believe the Mexican branch of Wayne Corp has been having some trouble lately. Perhaps it's time we went there and smoothed things out?"

Dick smiled faintly. "I'm still mad you left me and now I have to deal with this, but I do believe a margarita will change my mind. I really do have to go now though. I can feel the principal's anger and impatience from my car."

"Go make sure your brother's aren't expelled. I'll see you when I get home." Bruce paused for a moment before simply saying, "Dick."

Dick paused trying to unbuckle his seatbelt and grinned. "I love you too Dad. I'll see you soon."

Hanging up, Dick resumed his battle with the seatbelt. It probably wouldn't have been much of a struggle if he wasn't stressing over the many things his brothers could have done. Thinking of Damian and Jason, he knew that murder was within the realm of possibilities. But Tim? He wasn't exactly known for causing problems in class. Or any where.

Clammering out of his car, Dick jogged across the parking lot and into the school. He wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or not that he knew where the principal's office was. Granted, he had gone to this school, but that was five years prior. The fact that he was so confident that it was in the same place was the worrying part.

Taking a deep breathe, Dick breezed into the principal's office, making sure to keep his body language very relaxed. The first thing that happened when he walked in was all three of his brothers stood up and started yelling at him. They were probably saying something in their defense, but honestly, Dick couldn't distinguish any one thing that each of them said.

He felt like Bruce when he held up a hand and said, "Enough! I'm not sure how exactly this is going to work, but I'm going to make sure you boys don't get expelled. You can tell me your side of the story later. Preferably, after I have a glass of wine in my hand."

"Solving your problems with alcohol is not an example you should be setting."

Dick turned around and narrowed his eyes. The principal was leaning against the door to his office. It wasn't the same principal that he had had, but he had already met Mr. Kade once or twice due to Jason and Damian. "I never do. But I find that it can help me relax, and I think I might need that. Not that it's any of your business, but I hardly ever drink more than a glass. And the only time I was ever really drunk was when my friend spiked the punch without telling me."

Dick straightened and allowed himself to take a more serious tone and appearance. "I assume that you want to talk alone?"

Mr. Kade narrowed his eyes and stood up straight. If Dick didn't live with Bruce, he might have been intimidated by the man's height and physique. But as it was, the intimidation tactic did not faze him at all. In fact, Dick thought that it was kind of petty of the man to try and intimidate Dick. The man should have known due to all the rumors and articles about Dick, whether he be inside the boardroom or not, that he never submitted to anyone. Even Bruce. Well sometimes Bruce.

Narrowing his eyes further, Mr. Kade jerked open his office door and allowed Dick to enter first. The door closed with a heavy thunk leaving a tense silence in its wake.

It was Jason who broke the silence. "Ten bucks says Dickhead chews asshole up and spits him out."

Damian scoffed. "That's a terrible wager Todd. It is quite obvious that that will be the result."

Tim sank further into his chair and turned a page in his book. "For once, I agree with the Demon Brat. Mr. Kade doesn't stand a chance."

###

Dick allowed himself to showcase a relaxed posture, even though he was anything but. It was strange, he decided, sitting on this side of the desk. Mr. Kade had the Home advantage, but there was no way that Dick would allow him to see his discomfort. That would be when the man gained the real advantage.

He watched with slight disinterest as Mr. Kade shuffled some papers around. He knew the tactic, the man was trying to make it look like he had all the answers in front of him even though he didn't. He often saw the strategy in the boardroom. It didn't work on him. At least not anymore. "Twenty-three is pretty young to be the guardian of three boys."

Dick blinked, but otherwise gave no outward sign of his annoyance. That comment was made to gage his reaction. "I'm their brother, not their guardian. Dad is out of the country so he asked me to come in his stead."

Mr. Kade raised an eyebrow. "The behavior that your brothers are displaying is usually indicative of a larger problem at home."

Dick sat back further and scratched his nose. "If you're trying to imply that Bruce is a bad father, I'm going to have to stop you right now. Bruce is the best dad that I could have ever asked for. Unlike other people, he never cared about our roots. We were just kids to him. We're his sons. Not his play things."

Mr. Kade sat back and crossed his legs. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he said, "Let's start with Tim."

Dick grinned internally. He had won the first battle. Now he just had to win the war.

"Tim fell asleep again during class. His teacher has been especially lenient over his sleeping patterns, but it was simply inexcusable that he yelled, 'leave me alone Dickhead' after she tried to wake him up."

Dick nodded along with the principal even though he was internally rolling his eyes. Seriously, that's all it took to be sent home these days? "As we have already talked about with Ms. Decraw, Tim has problems sleeping at night due to horrible nightmares. The doctor says it has to do with all the kidnappings and the fact that he was neglected before he came to live with us. As for the rude comment, he probably thought that it was me waking him up."

Mr. Kade seemed to buy the story. "He can come back tomorrow." Dick hardly found himself feeling relieved. He had the feeling that Jason and Damian did not just fall asleep in class.

"Let's get started on Damian. He was caught tackling a student on the playground and raining punches down on him."

Dick sighed. Of course Damian did something that couldn't be explained by nightmare and idiot older brothers. "Do you know what the other student said to him?"

Mr. Kade frowned. "Your brother is not known for his mild temper. In fact, it's quite the opposite. What makes you think he was provoked?"

Dick rubbed his temples. He didn't want Mr. Kade to realize that he had the upper hand. "My brother may be ill-tempered, but he had his ipod with him today. Damian would've been sitting quietly in some corner listening to his music unless he was provoked. Why don't we bring him in here and ask?"

Mr. Kade nodded is assent and Dick stood up slowly and went to the door. Sticking his head out, he watched as all three of his brothers scrambled up so that they were standing. "Damian? Can you come in here for a moment?"

Dick watched as Damian steeled his resolve, lifted his chin up in defiance and marched over and into the office. Settling into the seat next to Dick, he said, "I assume you wish to know what Mackalvoy said to provoke me?" Seeing both men nod their heads. Damian sniffed. "He came to me and ripped my earbuds out before telling me that not only was my mother a whore, she simply did not love me. Why else would she abandon me with Father? I told him that it was not true, and he told me the only reason that both Father, Grayson, Todd, and even Drake have anything to do with me is legal obligation. That they do not love me. After all, who would?"

Dick's heart broke for Damian. He had no idea how one child could say such horrible things to another, let alone his adorable baby brother. At the same time, he was proud of Damian for not killing the other boy. His restraint had definitely improved.

Dick rested his hand on Damian's shoulder for a moment, knowing that that was as much physical contact the boy would allow. Giving Damian's shoulder a small squeeze, he sent Damian back to waiting room, hoping that both Tim and Jason would not try and goad some sort of reaction from the boy.

Turning to face the principal, Dick narrowed his eyes with lethal intent. The man had cast all the blame on Damian when the other boy had so clearly goaded his brother into reacting. How he hadn't spotted it was the real question.

In a low voice he asked, "Would you like to know what pisses me off the most?"

Mr. Kade swallowed visibly but made no move to respond. Dick took this as his queue to keep speaking. "My brother was assumed to be the instigator of this incident while the other boy was seen as an innocent victim. While Damian escalated it to physical violence, you can hardly blame him considering his history."

"I assume you're speaking of the history of violence?"

"No. I'm speaking about the history of both verbal and physical abuse at the hands of his mother and grandfather. Not to mention the neglect. Bruce had no idea that he had conceived a child with this woman, and she made no move to tell him until she thought she had the perfect son. Damian struggles with a lot of things because of that, and he tends to lash out more towards women because of it. Because his own mother didn't protect him. Those remarks would've made me punch the kid at Damian's age, and those comments hit a lot closer to home for him."

Mr. Kade remained silent for a moment. "I still have to suspend him. Two weeks."

Dick narrowed his eyes. "Only if the other kid gets at least three days suspension on the record, both children write an apology that you read and find appropriate, and you sign a nondisclosure statement about what you've learned about Damian today."

Mr. Kade blinked before smirking slightly. "I see why they call you a wizard at negotiation. That sounds entirely fair." Turning more serious he said, "I would've never said anything about Damian, even without the nondisclosure agreement."

Dick gave a small smile. "I get that feeling from you. But as you can imagine, I like to cover all my bases." Leaning back in his chair, Dick started to play with the buttons on his coat. "So, I'm assuming you saved the best for last. What did my dearest brother Jason do now? Ask about your sex life with Ms. Stratten again? Curse? Be tardy? Start a fight?"

"He asked about my sex life? And told you?"

Dick nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah. In a group chat with Tim and Damian. He thought it was hilarious that she gave him a two hour detention. Granted, he was trying to provoke her, but that's Jason for you."

Mr. Kade blinked in shock before shaking his head. "He was tardy, but the reason he was tardy is what brings you here today."

Dick sighed. "Joy. What did he do?"

Mr. Kade rubbed his temples. Dick wondered if this conversation was aging him as much as it was aging himself. "Your brother hung signs around campus stating that their was going to be a penis examination for all males in the school happening in the locker rooms. He even sighted some sort of bogus Health Code. We had guys lining up in two lines: circumcised and uncircumcised. Do you know how many parent phone calls I received about this today? About how their child didn't want to participate or that their penis wasn't 'orderly' enough to be inspected today? It was madness!"

Dick couldn't help it, he burst into laughter. When he calmed down, he asked between chuckles, "How do you know Jason did it?"

Mr. Kade rubbed his jaw. "We weren't able to catch him in the act or on security cameras, but a student swears up and down that she saw him wandering the halls today."

Dick drummed his fingers on his knee under the desk. "I have to say that that is circumstantial evidence Mr. Kade. While I'll readily admit that my brother is no saint, you have no damning evidence to tie him to this. Jason often wanders the halls. It's his way of rebelling. He's dropped off on time every morning, and he wanders the halls until he decides that he is suitably late for the day. Perhaps it was just a senior prank gone too far?"

Mr. Kade raised one eyebrow. "Your brother is a senior is he not?"

Dick smiled almost pityingly. "I never said he was involved, I just offered a possibility as to what happened. I'm sure the GCPD will allow us to run fingerprints on the flyers. If not, I have a friend who specializes in forensics in another city that will gladly take a look."

Dick really hoped that Mr. Kade would not take him up on the offer, and if he did, he hoped that Jason was at least smart enough to wear gloves. "While that is a kind offer , I'll have to decline. kI'd hate to waste the resources of the GCPD or that of your friend if it was simply a senior prank."

Internally, Dick breathed a sigh of relief. Outwardly, he gave Mr. Kade a small nod. "I assume that Jason will be allowed to return tomorrow?"

Mr. Kade sighed deeply. "As there is no way to prove him guilty, yes. Though speaking off the record, you don't believe him innocent, do you?"

Dick snorted. "On the record, I'll defend my brother until my dying breathe. Off the record, Jason is a little shit, and this is just the kind of thing that he'd pull."

Mr. Kade surprised Dick by bursting into laughter. "Glad my instincts aren't too far off the mark. Tim and Jason can come back tomorrow, I'll see Damian in two weeks. I'm assuming that one of the boys will drop off the nondisclosure agreement and the written apology?"

Dick nodded. "I'll be sure to give it to Tim."

Standing, Dick reached out to shake the man's hand. "If Bruce ever asks, this meeting was a yelling match, and you never want to see me again."

Mr. Kade raised an eyebrow. "Here I was thinking it went quite well."

Duck snorted. "It did, and therein lies the problem. Bruce finds out how well this went, and he'll send me to them every time one of the boys end up in here."

Mr. Kade chuckled and the two men walked out of the office. Immediately, the three boys jumped to their feet. Dick wrapped his arms across their shoulder and herded them out of the school, yelling a pleasant 'goodbye' over his shoulder.

As soon as they were in the car and on their way home, all the boys started talking at once. Dick whistled loudly to gain their attention. Once he was sure they were listening, he said, "Tim, you're back in school tomorrow. Damian, you have a two week suspension." Damian immediately started to protest and Dick had to raise his voice to be heard over him. "But, the other boy will also be suspended for three days and both of you have to write an apology to each other. Mr. Kade will read both apologies and make sure they are appropriate. I'll help you write it Little D. Jason, you will be back in school tomorrow, as all the evidence they had was circumstantial. But really Jason, penis inspections?"

Jason shrugged. "The idiots actually believed it too. All they had to do was look up the bogus health code I cited."

Duck shook his head and burst out laughing. His brothers were amazing even when they were being shit disturbers.

###

Bruce walked into the manor tiredly. It had been a week since Dick had called him in a frenzy at one a.m. And a week since Tim, Jason, and even Damian had called to tell him how amazingly Dick had handled the meeting with the principal.

Walking into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, Bruce was surprised to see Dick sitting there with a glass of wine and a book. Glancing up at Bruce, he gave the man a brief smile before returning to his book. Then he did a double take. Seeing that it really was his dad. He hastily put down his book and wine and gave Bruce a powerful hug. Bruce staggered under the sudden weight, but returned the hug just as tightly.

Bruce patted Dick a few times on the back to signify that he wanted to be released. "I heard what you did for your brothers. They told me that there was no way that Damian and Jason wouldn't have been expelled if it weren't for you."

Duck scrunched up his nose. Bruce could tell that under his tanned skin, Dick was blushing. "The evidence against Jason was circumstantial. And Damian was provoked, so it wasn't completely his fault. All I did was point it out."

"Well whatever you did, I'm grateful. Now, I have a business trip to Mexico planned in two weeks. It would be an honor if you would attend with me Mr. Grayson."

Dick couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Only if there's margaritas involved Mr. Wayne. And I get to hang out at the beach. Oh. And we have separate hotel rooms, I'm planning on having company at least once."

Rolling his eyes good naturally, Bruce said, "Fine, but only because I'm expecting company too."

Dick smirked. "Good for you, not letting age slow you down."

Bruce glared before snorting. "Whatever you say. I'm going to bed, I'll check out the new cases tomorrow."

Dick nodded, knowing automatically that he was referring to Batman's files.

Closing his book, Dick sipped the last bit of his wine and put the glass in the sink. Turning around, Dick headed up the stairs. His father certainly had the right idea. It had been a long week, filled with long nights and he was tired. It was definitely time to go to bed. Thinking back to the week he had, Dick smirked. At the very least, he had solved his boredom.

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 **A/N: So I just started writing, and this happened. Personally, I really like it, but I want to know what you think.**

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 **So here's my 'official' prompt list...let me know what you want to see next. Please feel free to add something not on the list!**

Prank wars (multi-shot story)

Xmas

Valentine's Day

Alfred's Bday

Break ups (minishots how each of them went through bad breakup w/ help from bros)

Bruce be emotionally incompetent

Damian's first crush Zatannagurl

Assassins want Dick WolfGirl

Water gun battles turn into bad damian (league joins) dragoscilvio

Batbros captured by joker but argue so much that he lets them go Dragoscilvio

Dick/Jason go undercover at Arkham Dragoscilvio

Talia kidnaps boys WhenUniversesCollide

How Dick got each of his brothers RoseVered

Dick talks to commissioner about Barbara (p2 of chapter2)

Bruce is attached to female bc of business deal Ashuri (multi-shot?)

Alfred is gone for a week Ashuri (multi-shot)

Batbros react to (...?) Ashuri

Bruce/Dick fight, bros try to solve the problem(multi-shot)

Bruce forgets to pick up boys

Wayne family photoshoot


	36. Oops

**Oops**

Dick squinted his eyes behind his sunglasses. As recommended, Dick and his brothers had gone to the optometrist for their yearly appointment. They were warned beforehand by the doctor that he was going to dilate their pupils, and therefore, Dick wouldn't be able to drive.

Normally, this would not be an issue. Alfred would be undoubtedly more than willing to pick them up. Unfortunately, Alfred had taken time off to visit family in the motherland. So that left Dick with no choice. Ask Bruce to pick them up after their appointment.

Apparently, their definition of pick us up at four p.m. was different. Dick didn't know how, but Bruce was obviously in a different time zone where it was only three p.m. That or he had simply forgotten his four sons. And Dick refused to believe that was true. Even with all the evidence pointing to the contrary.

Turning to his brothers, Dick sighed and offered them a weak smile. "Guess we need to find our own way home. Good thing we have money."

Jason scoffed. "Just like the Old Man to forget us, but I can't believe he forgot about his Golden Boy."

Dick scowled. "I'm just as mad as you are Jason. But there's no reason to lash out at us. Bruce makes his own decisions and therefore his own mistakes."

Seeing that all three of his brothers seemed to grudgingly agree with him, Dick smiled. "So...are we going home or what? We can always camp out in one of our rooms with a 'No Bruce Allowed' sign on the door."

Jason smirked. "Doesn't Bruce's room have a mini fridge? What if we order enough food for the week and stash it in there. Then we buy a bunch of junk food and drinks and bring it in there too. We can grab our stuff from our rooms and the unhackable door lock from the Batcave. Bruce will come home, go to his room and find us all camped out there with no way to get in or to get us out."

Tim frowned. "Isn't that kind of petty? I mean all he did was forget to pick us up."

Damian scoffed. "While it may be permissible for father to forget you Drake, I am his blood son and should be his utmost priority."

Before Damian and Tim could start fighting again (with Jason almost certainly egging them on), Dick said, "While I normally wouldn't mind, I did set up three alarms on his phone, a reminder from his secretary, and a sticky-note on his desktop. There's no way he simply didn't remember. I say we go with Jason's plan and barricade ourselves in his room with enough food to last us a week. If we run out, we can always ask Clark to bring us some through the window."

Tim nodded hesitantly. "Okay. So, let's find a cab and go to the store."

###

As soon as they got home, Dick rushed the food they bought, along with everything he could find in the kitchen into Bruce's room. He then rushed to his room and packed a bag full of clothes, his toothbrush, and plenty of fresh underwear.

Tossing his bag into Bruce's room, he went to check on his brothers. Seeing that they were almost done packing, Dick went to get the necessary supplies from the Batcave. Seeing Tim's laptop, Dick grabbed it, and bounded back up the stairs.

Exploding into his brother's room he declared, "Make sure you bring entertainment. We are camping out in his room for a week." Turning to Damian, Dick smirked. "Make sure you bring your markers."

Leaving his brothers, Dick absently noted that all of them had matching evil smirks on their faces and that could not bode well for Bruce. In fact, it pretty much predicted that the man was doomed.

###

Bruce came home and tiredly through his briefcase on the ground. He briefly wondered why Dick hadn't appeared yet to give him a hug, but decided that he was way too tired to handle his organs being bruised.

It was strange, Bruce decided. None of the boys had come to visit him in the office today. Normally, each of them popped into his office at least once, but today it was radio silence. Deciding that he would change into comfortable clothes before searching out his sons, Bruce bounded up the stairs to his room.

There, he met a peculiar sight. All his clothes were in a pile outside his door. Looking up, he noticed that someone, most likely Jason, had tagged the door with graffiti to say 'No Assdults Allowed!'

Breathing deeply a few times to regain a semblance of composure, Bruce knocked on the door. "Boys. Whatever prank your pulling isn't funny."

Instead of answering, a note was shoved under the door. Sighing at their childish behavior, Bruce read their note.

 **GO AWAY ASSDULT! WE HAVE ENOUGH SUPPLIES IN HERE TO SURVIVE UNTIL ALFRED THE GREAT COMES HOME. IN CASE OF EMERGENCY WE WILL CALL CLARK OR BASICALLY ANYONE BUT YOU! IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, WE ARE MAD AT YOU!**

 **LOVE,**

 **DICK, TIM, JASON, AND DAMIAN**

 **P.S. JASON WISHES TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU'RE AN ASS.**

 **P.P.S. WE ALL AGREE WITH HIM.**

Bruce blinked and reread the note. What in the world had he done to piss them off so much? More importantly, how was he supposed to get in his room? Briefly he debated if it was possible that this was just a practical joke. But Dick would never go as far as to call him an ass.

Deciding to take the hint from the note, Bruce dialed Alfred. Even if the boys hadn't called him, the man would surely know why the boys were mad at him. He was Alfred the Great after all.

The three minutes it took Alfred to pick up were the longest in his life. He spent the time alternating between tapping his foot and drumming his fingers on the staircase banister. When Alfred answered, Bruce tried his hardest to sound casual. "Hey Alfred. How's England?"

There was no response for a moment, and Bruce found himself fearing that Alfred had been disconnected. "Good evening Master Bruce. May I presume that you are calling for reasons other than small pleasantries?"

The man was obviously a psychic. "The boys are mad at me."

"Were you late picking them up from the doctor?"

"What doctor? They had an appointment today?"

Alfred sighed audibly. "Master Bruce, you didn't forget to pick your sons up did you? After all the reminders Master Dick wrote to be sure you didn't accidently forget?"

It was Bruce's turn to sigh. Apparently he wasn't nearly as good of a father as he liked to think. Muttering a quick goodbye to Alfred, Bruce went back to his bedroom door. Knocking quietly, he leaned against the door. "You're right Jason. I am an assdult, and more importantly, I am an ass. You guys have every right to be upset, in fact I'd be worried if you weren't."

Receiving no verbal reply, Bruce sank down at sat down. "I wouldn't want to talk to me either. Can you send me a sign that you're all alive in there?"

Bruce waited for a moment but there was no response. Closing his eyes, he debated whether or not he should ask Clark to check on them. Just as he was about to make the call, a text came in with a photo of a bunch of junk food lying on his carpet.

 **Dick: We good**

 **Bruce: I'm so sorry**

 **Jason: Shut your face asshole**

 **Damian: While Todd is quite crude, the sentiment is correct.**

 **Dick: I reminded you!**

 **Bruce: I'm an idiot**

 **Dick: I reminded you so many times**

 **Jason: To be fair, none of us listen to you when you start rambling**

 **Dick: D':**

 **Bruce: I'll work on it**

Bruce received no reply. Deciding that the best course of action was obviously to stay put, Bruce made himself comfortable using his own clothes as pillows. It was not long before he fell asleep.

###

Dick gnawed on his lip nervously. Finally, he burst out, "Are we sure that we have to be mad at him for a week? I mean it's kinda boring in here and we already drew on his walls."

True to Dick's words, the walls were covered in drawings. Damian had drawn cats, Tim had drawn computers and coffee, Jason had drawn guns and explosions, and Dick had drawn elephants and clowns. Bruce's bland walls had been turned into a work of art, although some of their drawings were more abstract than others.

Jason scowled. "I should have known that you weren't in it for the long run. You're such a daddy's boy Dickhead"

Tim stepped in as the mediator. "Why don't we take a vote? I mean we already made a mess of Bruce's room, and I don't think we'll piss him off by staying in here."

Damian sniffed. "For once, I agree with Drake. Father sounded more sad than anything. It was like listening to a less pathetic version of Grayson."

Dick wasn't sure whether or not to be offended. Deciding that it was probably best he didn't know, he clapped his hands once and said, "All in favor of staying in here?" Nobody raised their hands. Deciding to finish the vote properly and not just assume that they wanted to leave, Dick said, "All in favor of leaving?"

Much to Dick's surprise, everyone (even Jason) voted to leave. Normally there would have been at least one person who voted the other way just to be contrary. Giving each of them a smile, Dick unfolded himself and walked to the door. Undoing the lock, Dick almost tripped over Bruce.

Gesturing to his brothers frantically, Dick took out his phone and started snapping adorable photos of Bruce sleeping in a pile of his clothes. His brothers found the sight 'grudgingly cute' but were not as excited as he was. They did however, ask for the photos to be sent to them. Dick got the feeling that Jason was asking for them as blackmail photos instead of cute photos of his father.

Deciding that he had more than enough photos, Dick crouched down and curled up next to Bruce. To his surprise, his brothers joined them, and soon all five of them were asleep on the floor.

###

Bruce woke up to a heavy mass on his chest. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Bruce lifted his head to find that Dick was sprawled on top of him. Next to him, Jason, Damian, and Tim were also fast asleep. Squirming slightly, Bruce adjusted himself so that Dick was lying next to him and not on top of him. The young man still managed to keep a death grip on his arm however. Bruce sighed. Dick was never going to outgrow the cuddly octopus in his sleep faze. Not that he ever wanted him to.

It wasn't until later that Bruce discovered the absolute mess the boys had made of his room. There were broken chips all over his carpet, the murals on his walls, not to mention the fact that someone had taken all his clothes off their hangers and out of their drawers in order to spread them all over the room. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or yell when he saw that the ceiling fan was covered in his underwear.

None of them had really felt like cleaning, so they moved some of Bruce's stuff into a spare bedroom and then spent the whole day watching movies in the den. Between that, work, school, and defending Gotham, all five of them forgot to clean the master bedroom.

Unfortunately, Alfred hadn't forgotten. As soon as he came home and saw the mess, he grounded everyone from their night lives until the room was spotless. After seeing what Bruce considered to be spotless, Alfred took over, mumbling about men in their forties not knowing the definition of clean.

Bruce had shrugged, clearly not offended and herded them all out of his room and into the Batcave. Apparently, Bruce had some experience getting out of being grounded. Which is how the Bat Clan ended up sitting on top of the Wayne Corp building laughing and interacting in a way that made it impossible to tell that they had divided earlier that week.

Dick smiled to himself. That was their true skill. No matter what happenedㅡreplacement, death, coming back to lifeㅡthey alway forgave each other. And that within itself was a miracle.

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 **A/N: So I basically wrote this before people started sending me their requests...but anyways if you couldn't tell this is the one about Bruce forgetting them somewhere. Bruce and Dick fighting will be a different story.**

 **I'm not really sure what I'll be doing next, but I'm debating between:**

Bruce and Dick fighting

Watergun battle turns into 'Bad Damian'

Damian's first crush

Assassins want Dick

 **Let me know your preference out of these prompts. Of course you are also more than welcome to submit your own new ideas!**

 **Thanks to the people who have reviewed, and those who are taking the time to review right now!**


	37. Falling Out (Part 1)

**Falling Out (Part 1)**

Nobody knew what exactly happened. Or at least that's what Jason assumed. If they had, they wouldn't look nearly as lost. Even Alfred looked puzzled which either meant they were in the Twilight Zone or the mother of all fucking secrets just came out. Jason was banking on the later.

It had started when Dick and Bruce came home from work. Normally, the duo would walk in together, Dick talking animatedly about some random topic with Bruce patiently yet attentively listening.

Today however, Dick stormed into the house and up the stairs without saying hello to anyone. Bruce had come in shortly after, equally angry and had stalked to the kitchen. Jason had exchanged glances with Tim and Damian, but otherwise shrugged it off. Every once in awhile, Bruce and Dick faught. It would resolve itself within the hour when one of them realized how stupid the fight was.

Jason hadn't realized how wrong he was until dinner came around and Dick and Bruce sat on opposite sides of the table glaring at each other. Jason wasn't sure whether to revel in the tension or not. On one hand, Mommy and Daddy were finally fighting. On the other hand, dinner was really awkward.

The Replacement seemed to be uncomfortable too, because he cleared his throat and asked tentatively, "So. What did you guys do today?"

Jason watched as the storm clouds grew darker in Dick's eyes. Apparently that wasn't a good question to ask. "Why don't you ask what Bruce did. I mean not today, but in the past."

Jason wasn't sure what the fuck that was supposed to mean, but Bruce obviously did. The man stood up angrily and Dick immediately mirrored him. Nobody said anything as both men made a move to storm out of the dining room, only to realize they were both going up the stairs. Jason thought they were going to start punching each other, but instead, Bruce turned around quickly and headed to his office.

Turning to face his two younger brothers, he asked the question on all their minds. "What the fucking hell just happened?"

Looking slightly lost, Tim said, "I've never seen them fight this bad. Even after you died. They always fought in the other room or separated until one or both of them cooled down."

Jason turned to study Damian. The boy had been unusually quiet. To his shock, he found his youngest brother hugging his stomach and confused. Finally Damian said, "If he was fighting with you or Drake, I would say that Father was obviously the one in the right. But it's Grayson. Grayson doesn't fight for no reason. He barely even fights when his opinion is correct! At least not with us. And especially not with Father."

Jason ran a hand through his hair. "I really don't know what to say kid. I've never seen them go at it like this either. But if anyone has, it'd be Alfred. Maybe he can shed some light on this situation."

###

Unfortunately, Alfred was not much help. The man seemed just as puzzled as they were and could not name a time when the two men had aimed such murderous looks at each other and not a villain. They did however learn that it was highly unlikely that the two men would go to bed angry at each other as Dick's mother had instilled in him that that was unacceptable.

While Jason was happy that it would be over by the next morning, it made for a pretty awkward patrol. In the end, they split up so that he was with Dickhead and the Demon Brat and the Replacement was with the Old Man.

For the rest of the patrol, Jason had tried to subtly and not so subtly ask what the fight was about. Even the Demon Brat asked. Nicely, which in itself was a miracle. Dick ignored them both before telling them, "Shut the hell up. I don't want to think about it let alone talk about it. Besides. It's none of your fucking business."

Jason raised a surprised eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Dick never talked like that to his brothers. Dick never talked like that in general. In fact, Jason was usually the one cursing at everyone and everything. He wasn't sure how he felt about Dick doing it. It was weird. Like they were suddenly in an alternate universe where Dick and Bruce hated each other.

Signaling the Demon Brat to leave Nightwing alone, Jason braced himself for the long patrol ahead. And it was long. And arduous. And just plain stupid. Dickhead was supposed to be the one that told him not hate Bruce, not the one promoting it. The alternate universe theory was starting to look more and more pleasant.

When they finally arrived at home Jason watched curiously as Bruce and Dick shoved each other as they rushed towards the stairs. Two minutes later, two doors slammed. Jason could only presume that they both went to their own rooms.

Turning to his shell-shocked brothers. Jason scowled. "Now would be the time to come up with some sort of plan. We need to get one of them to talk."

Alfred appeared out of the shadows. "If I may, Master Jason. Master Dick has never been one to hold his liqueur. Perhaps you could get him talking."

Jason turned to the faithful butler in shock. "Alfred, are you suggesting that I get Dickhead drunk and then question him?"

"It appears as if I am. Perhaps you should go do so instead asking clarifying questions that reveal that I am in no way or shape suggesting that you go get your brother drunk so that we can learn what trouble ails him and Master Bruce."

Jason smirked before running up the stairs and out of the Batcave. Making a pit stop in the kitchen, Jason grabbed Bruce's finest scotch and two glasses. Dickhead would probably be suspicious otherwise. Or so he told himself.

Knocking on the door with his foot, Jason ignored Dick's yell of 'go away!' and entered the room. Waving the bottle, he waited for Dick's approval. The man said nothing, which Jason took to mean as 'please pour me a glass.'

###

Five glasses later, and Dick was finally ready to talk. About everything other than what Jason wanted to talk about apparently.

Standing up sharply, Jason said, "For crying out loud! Enough already! I'm getting Bruce, tell him about the chakras and elephants being harmonious with nature and whatever the hell else you were talking about!"

Dick frowned. "No! I don't want to see him! He's a no good dirty traitor. That's what he is. You get him, and I'll...I'll...I'll...well I don't know what I'll do but you won't like it!"

Rubbing his temples, Jason sighed. Bruce must have really messed up if drunk Dick not only remembered what he done, but still cared and was obviously still mad. "Okay. Here's the deal Drunkie, you tell me what Bruce did to you, and I won't get him."

Dick scrunched up his eyebrows. "But I don't want to talk about it. Can't we talk about something else?"

Jason almost felt bad. Almost. "No. That's the deal."

Dick sighed and rubbed his face. "I don't know Jace. You know me. I've always been in love with Barbara. I mean we broke up for good a while back and went to Disney after. Hey I haven't seen her since then. Was I supposed to apologize?"

Jason closed his eyes for a moment and took a steadying breath. "The point, Dickhead."

Dick spaced out for a moment before continuing. "I don't know, it's just been her for me since I was thirteen. I mean there were other girls, but I knew that she knew that I was just waiting for her to be ready."

Dick paused and Jason was just about to nudge him and tell him to keep going when he said, "I guess that's why it hurt so much. I don't know why she felt the need to tell me now. Maybe that email wasn't meant for me. Maybe she wasn't the one who sent it."

Jason stilled. "What email?" But it was too late. Dick had passed out next to him in his desk chair.

Standing up Jason ran a hand down his face. At least now they had a place to start digging for clues. Leaving Dick's room, Jason watched as Bruce's door closed softly in his peripheral vision. No doubt the man had been spying and hoping that Jason would clear up whatever the issue between him and Dick was, for him. Deciding it probably best that he didn't start a fight with Bruce too, Jason rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen where the Replacement and Demon Brat were waiting for him.

Sitting down at one of the barstools, Jason nodded appreciatively as Tim poured him a mug of coffee and slid it over to him. "Thanks. Dickhead didn't say much of use to us, but he did manage to tell me about an email from Barbara before he passed out. Seemed pretty torn up about it."

Tim nodded, before typing in Dick's username. "Wanna bet that I won't have to hack it because his password hint practically spells his password out?"

Jason and Damian shared a look before rolling their eyes. "That's a loser's bet Tim."

Tim scoffed before resuming. "Childhood pet."

All three boys blurted out "Zitka" at the same time before letting a chuckle escape.

"Man that's a bad password. Anyone who knows Dick would know it. He doesn't shut up about that elephant." Jason smiled into his coffee. He was glad that at least one of them turned out okay. And by okay, he meant not completely screwed up, insane, and moderately happy.

Tim took another sip of his coffee. "Okay, I'm in. Looks like it's just the usual stuff. Wait. Oh man. This is bad. So bad. So so so bad."

Shoving Tim out of the way, Jason and Damian took a seat in front of his laptop. "What could possibly be so bad?"

Then Jason saw it. It was definitely bad. So so so bad. Earth shatteringly bad. Bruce had slept with Barbara before her and Dick got together.

In the back of his mind, Jason wondered if it said more about Barbara then the two men. After all she was the one who slept with Bruce before getting herself engaged to his son.

But the bigger question was, how could they fix this mess. The simple answer was that they couldn't. Then again, they weren't the kind of people that settled on simple answers. Turning to his brothers, Jason took a deep breath. "Guys, looks like it's gonna be up to us to fix this mess. We can come up with a cool operation name as soon as we figure out a plan."

Tim sighed. "I don't know if we can fix this one Jay. I think reconciliation has to be their idea."

Damian scoffed. "If that's all you can say Drake, then you really are undeserving to be one of Father's proteges. I thought we were adept at manipulating people without their detection? We must make Father and Grayson think it was their own idea."

Tim rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Jason thought that the motion looked kind of stupid because Tim didn't have any facial hair. "I guess the real question is how we manipulate them without them noticing."

Swinging an arm around Tim's tiny shoulder, Jason smirked. "No. The real question is what we're going to call this mission, because I refuse to participate if it doesn't have a cool name."

###

Watching the boys debate mission names, Alfred silently left the shadowed corner from which he was spying, ahem dusting in. The boys were correct, the best way to get his two eldest charges to reconcile was to manipulate them into doing so. The sad part was, that the boys did not recognize that they were being manipulated too. After all, Bruce had to have learned it from somewhere, and Alfred considered himself far too old to do all the heavy lifting. He'd leave his young charges to do it for him.

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 **A/N: Your mission: Come up with a cool mission name for Jason! I honestly have no clue what I'd call it.**

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 **Okay...so when I originally came up with the idea of Bruce in Dick fighting, I had zero clue what to make them fight about. Then I read that comic online where Barbara is pretty much (or is?) engaged to Dick, but then she tells Bruce she's pregnant with his baby! So...I decided that Bruce would sleep with her long BEFORE she got together with Dick and that there would be no pregnancy. I mean...otherwise they'd never reconcile right?**

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 **So anyways...ideas for the next chapter? I think I want Jason, Tim, or Damian to visit Barbara, but I'm not sure yet. Honestly, I wrote most of this at like 4:00 am before falling asleep, so I'm not really sure where I'm going with it. I'm literally coming up with the plot as I type. So any ideas would be very much so appreciated.**

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 **Please please please review and let me know what you think, what the mission name should be, and whether or not one of the bros should pay a visit to Barbara! Oh. And any plot ideas you may have! Thanks so much in advance!**


	38. Falling Out (Part 2)

**Falling Out (Part 2)**

It had taken them longer than Tim cared to admit to come up with a name to Jason's liking. And without a name, he refused to start the mission. Finally, they came up with the name M.A.D.R.A.I.D. Jason was satisfied because the word madriad was in the Urban Dictionary and meant _to inflict a type of massive damage, or a blow of some negative effect to any type of object or situation._ Damian and Tim were happy because it stood for: Mommy And Daddy Reconcile After Inconceivable Differences.

All in all, it was a good mission name. The other two names that had been juggled were B.R.U.C.E (Bros reconcile under certain events) but that had been scrapped because for once it was Bruce and Dick fighting not the brothers, and M.A.D.B.T. (Mommy and Daddy Back Together), but according to Jason, it lacked the finesse that M.A.D.R.A.I.D. had. Tim wasn't really sure how a word that's very definition was to inflict massive damage had finesse, but he was not about to start another argument with Jason.

After the whole name debatical, it was time to create a plan and split the duties. Tim had pulled up a blank page in word to type notes, not that any of them would forget, he just liked to have things on record.

So a loose, a very loose, plan was formed. Someone would take Dick out of the house and talk to him, someone would stay with Bruce, and the last person would talk to Barbara. Which is where they found their next problem. It appeared that all of them wanted to talk to her.

"I am the most skillful at interrogation! The League made sure that I knew how to make even the most strong-willed talk. She will surely crumple after I've had my way with her!" Damian declared loudly.

Worried that Dick was no longer passed out, or that Bruce was lurking in a corner somewhere, Tim tried to hush the boy a little. He received a death glare in return for his efforts.

Jason snorted, before sauntering up to Damian. "Look here, Brat. We need to be discrete, which means no torture! I vote that I go, we have a history. I can use it to make her talk."

Damian scoffed. "I am not naive enough to think that you would not sleep with the harlot given the chance. Given that this whole debatical between Father and Grayson was caused by the fact that Father had sex with her, do you not think that that would be slightly counterproductive?"

Tim blinked. That was the most logical argument he had ever heard Damian give. Normally his argument consisted of thinly veiled threats and insults. But this actually made sense. "I agree with the Demon Brat. However, I don't think she needs to be threatened or tortured. I think what she needs is someone who will listen to her side of things with minimal judgement. Which is why I think it would be best if I were to go."

Immediately, both Damian and Jason started to argue that they were a much better choice than he was. Then they started arguing with each other. Rubbing his temples, Tim wondered how Dick and Bruce dealt with them. They were annoying. "Shut up! I have a better idea. Why don't all three of us go and visit Barbara tonight? Tomorrow, Jason can bring Dick to a hotel room where he will treat him to ice cream and chick flicks while they talk about their feelings and shit. The Demon Brat and I will strong arm Bruce into talking to us."

Jason blinked. "While I do like the whole authoritative thing you've got going on, why do I have to watch chick flicks with Dick?"

Tim sighed. "You and Bruce have your own issues. If you talk to him, you'll end up yelling profanities at each other that have nothing to do with our current situation."

Damian crossed his arms. "As much as I loathe to admit it, Drake is not wrong. It would be best if you were to deal with Grayson, even if Grayson clearly likes me better."

Jason and Tim shared a look. Damian wished that Dick liked him better. It was clear that the man loved and doted on them equally. Which compensated for the sheer lack of affection that Bruce tended to show.

Tim cleared his throat slightly. "So. Are we in agreement?" When Damian and Jason nodded, Tim gave a sigh of relief. At least now they had a plan. "Are we going in costume or out?"

Jason looked up at the ceiling for a moment in contemplation. "I want to say out, because this is a civvie related issue and I don't want to give her the wrong idea by showing up in costume. On the other hand, it's three in the morning and people would be curious if they were to spot us."

Damian made an aggravated noise. "It's quite simple. We wear clothes that won't lend us recognizable and we sneak in. We will simply look like good friends if someone were to spot us."

"Or thieves." Tim said drily. Damian did have a point though. With a pair of jeans on and a hoodie, they'd look like every other teenage boy out past their curfew.

Jason shrugged. "So we don't get caught. It's not like we've never snuck into a building or something."

The brother's shared a smirk. This would definitely be interesting.

###

Barbara was enjoying a nice cup of tea. Oracle had been more busy lately thanks to Dick telling off the Justice League. Apparently, when he found out that Oracle had been blacklisted, he had angrily scolded the Justice League. Rumors said that the League was reduced to saying things like: _But Nightwingggg! We did it for you!_ And _You're our friend and she hurt you!_

Barbara was just glad that she had work to distract her. She had yet to actually talk to Dick or Nightwing, and when the Bat Clan reluctantly used her, they never mentioned the man. She had heard the rumors of course. That Dick Grayson was making his rounds through the Gotham High Society just like his father. That he flirted with pretty much anything with a pulse.

If Barbara were to be honest with herself, she would say that it hurt that Dick had gotten over her so quickly. That he had had sex with so many people. But she wasn't honest with herself, at least when it came to this.

Realizing that her mug was empty, she sighed and wheeled into the kitchen so that she could put the mug in the sink. There she received the surprise of a lifetime. Jason, Tim, and Damian were sitting there casually drinking her tea and eating muffins. When they saw her wheel in, Jason casually waved while Tim studied her and Damian glared ferociously.

Jason stood up from his chair and stretched, exposing his lean and muscular stomach. Smirking at her slightly, Jason prowled around the room until he was standing next to her. "Hey Barbara. Think it's time we had a little chat. Don't you?"

###

Damian studied the harlot in front of him. She seemed uncomfortable. Good. Her very existence made damian Uncomfortable. And he tended to destroy things that made him feel edgy. He watched as Todd circled her. He was playing with her, Damian realized. Todd was making her feel uneasy in her own home, a place where she was supposed to be safe.

Drake stepped forward. Tilting his head slightly, he studied Gordon. Damian thought that he surprisingly really did look like a curious bird when he did that. "Why did you do it?"

Damian believed that Drake was approaching the situation to softly, but he would allow the imbecile to continue his way of questioning for the time being. Perhaps he would get some answers, though it was highly unlikely.

"Do what? Throw the ring at him? I did that months ago! Why are you here now?"

Damian growled. The harlot dared act naive? He was about to lunge at her when Todd caught him around the stomach. "I can't hold my friend here back much longer, stop playing dumb!"

Damian grudgingly admitted to himself that it was a good interrogation technique. Todd was acting a her friend and protector, while Damian acted as the angry and out of control interrogator. Granted, that wasn't very far off the truth.

"Admit what? What did I do now?"

Surprisingly, it was Drake that burst out, "You slept with Bruce before getting together with Dick!" Perhaps Damian had misjudged him. It appeared that Drake was nowhere near as calm and nonchalant about this situation as he had originally judged him to be.

Gordon blinked in shock. Sputtering, she demanded, "H-How did you know? Did Bruce tell you? Did he tell Dick?"

Damian shared a look with Todd and Drake. Apparently the harlot had no idea she had sent the email. And much to Damian's dismay, it appeared as if she was being honest.

Todd gazed intently at her for a moment. Finally he sighed and said, "No, Bruce didn't tell us. You did. I don't know if you meant to or not, but you sent an email to Dick. He opened it, and all the details of your affair with Bruce were right there in front of him. They haven't talked since. Well, they've screamed at each other, but that doesn't really count. We had to get Dick drunk to find out what happened."

Gordon placed her head in her hands. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Dick wasn't ever supposed to find out. It was just one night. We were both drunk and I thought 'What the hell? Neither of us are in a relationship, we can have a little fun.' I've never seen Bruce as mad as he was the next morning. But he wasn't mad at me, not really. He was mad at himself. We agreed that it never happened. Fast forward one year, and I'm seeing Dick, and neither of us ever spoke of it again. That email was meant for someone else."

If Damian was someone else, anyone else really, he would have felt some sympathy for the woman. Instead he just felt disgust and anger. Who was the woman to destroy his family? The only real family he had ever had?

"Todd. Drake. I wish to go home now. We must sleep if we wish to embark in a battle of wills tomorrow and come out victorious. The harlot clearly has no useful information to give us."

Damian headed to the open window knowing that his brothers were following him. None of them paused to say goodbye, and Damian knew that they were leaving the woman more broken than she had been when they arrived. But somehow he couldn't bring himself to care. He had a family to fix. His family.

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 **A/N: Let me know what you think! I'm thinking maybe two more parts...but it really depends on how the story fits together.**


	39. Falling Out (Part 3)

**Falling Out (Part 3)**

Dick woke up with a killer headache. Trying to remember whether or not he got hit in the head the day before, he remembered the fight with Bruce. Bruce. His father who had slept with his ex. Granted they hadn't been together at the time but still! Remembering the fight, Dick remembered drinking with Jason the night before.

Dick closed his eyes. He was pretty pathetic to allow his nineteen year old brother to drink him under the table. Granted, Jason seemed to excel at anything that could be considered illegal. Dick covered his eyes with his arm. Sleeping the day away sounded pretty good to him. He wouldn't have to deal with Bruce then.

"Hey. Don't go back to sleep, Drunkie."

Dick startled and fell out of his bed. Looking up, he saw that Jason was sitting at his desk. "What the hell are you doing in here? When did you get in here? And why can't I sleep?"

Jason rolled his eyes and tossed him a pair of sweats. "Go take a shower, Drunkie. We have plans. I'll answer your questions when we're in the car."

Dick stumbled into the bathroom, giving one last forlorn look at his comfortable bed. Turning to Jason, he opened his mouth, only for the younger man to cut him off. "Alfred already has a travel mug filled with his special hangover coffee."

Dick opened his mouth, and once again Jason cut him off. "And yes, I've already told him that he is a god among mortals. Now get in the shower Dickhead. We have places to be today."

###

Dick wasn't really sure what to think when they pulled up in front of a five star hotel. He hoped that this wasn't Jason's idea of a joke, but knowing the younger man as well as he did, made Dick's gut curl with worry.

Jason snorted beside him. "Come on. I already checked us in and got a room key. As long as you're quiet, nobody will notice us. And if they do, we'll just say that we're meeting a client."

Dick nodded uneasily. Jason was being somewhat nice to him. If that wasn't reason enough to worry, than he didn't know what was.

Dick dutifully followed Jason into the hotel, to the elevator, and up to the seventeenth floor. From there, they walked down a long corridor. Dick counted the rooms as they past them. By the time that Jason stopped, Dick counted that they had passed twenty-two rooms.

Walking into the hotel room, Dick studied it casually. There were two queen sized beds and a flat screen TV. In the corner of the room, stood a small mini fridge and a glass table. From what Dick could tell, the was a small bathroom located around the corner.

Dick flopped down on one of the beds. Despite drinking Alfred's magical potion, he still had a hangover. "Want to tell me why we're here?"

Despite having his own bed, Jason chose to flop down next to him. "I was asked, or rather told, to get you out of the house for a bit. We're going to eat ice cream and talk about our feelings and shit. I even have a few Hallmark movies we can watch."

Dick sighed. He should have known his brothers wouldn't leave it alone. Despite the fact that he had made it very clear that he did not want them involved. "Look Jaybird, I really don't want to talk about what he did. And honestly, it's none of your damn business."

Jason stood up and walked over to the mini fridge. Grabbing a quart of cookie dough ice cream, he tossed it at Dick along with a spoon. Then he grabbed a quart of chocolate for himself. Returning to his spot next to Dick, Jason started to open his ice cream. "Look. I already know what happened, so you might as well talk to me."

Glancing up and seeing Dick's shocked look, Jason shrugged and smirked mischievously. "You're quite talkative when you're drunk, Dickhead. You told me everything." Jason conveniently left out the part where they had all accurately guessed his email password, read the email in question, before paying a visit to Babs. Something told him that Dick wouldn't find that very amusing.

Dick sighed and opened his ice cream. It was half-melted, but Dick couldn't bring himself to care. He needed it if he was expected to spill his guts. The only problem was he had no idea where to start. Not to mention, he felt like he was holding back a tidal wave of emotions. He had no idea when they were going to snap let alone what he would do when they did.

Jason seemed to realize that he was conflicted. In the most gentle voice that Dick had ever heard from the man, he asked, "Let's start with why you're mad at Bruce."

Dick shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth angrily. That's where Jason wanted to start? The answer to that question was obvious! "He slept with Barbara!"

Jason raised a single eyebrow. Before shoving his ice cream in his mouth he said, "So? That was a whole year before the two of you got together."

Dick frowned. "How do you know that? I didn't know that!"

Jason waved him off. "Not important. Answer the question."

Shoving his ice cream to the side, Dick got up and started to pace. Jason watched him lazily. Dick had to come to his own conclusions, and he couldn't rush him, despite how impatient he usually was.

Dick seemed to come to some sort of conclusion, because he sat down on the bed again and scooped up his ice cream. "I guess, I'm mad because Bruce knew how into her I was. I mean, it wasn't some sort of national secret. I've been pining after her since I was thirteen. And he still slept with her."

Jason nodded his head. He should get paid for this shit. Therapists made a lot of money. "So what I'm hearing, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you're not actually mad. You're hurt and lashing out at Bruce because of it."

Dick blinked owlishly. Jason resisted the urge to facepalm. The man had yet to figure that out for himself? Was he serious?

Dick nodded slowly. "You're right. I think that I'm not really mad. Just really, really hurt. How do I fix this? I yelled some pretty awful stuff at him before we got home. Both of us tried to cool it as soon as we got to the manor. Not that really helped, we were both still pretty angry."

Jason sighed. Why was he suddenly a therapist again? Granted, it felt kind of nice to be on this side of the conversation for once. Normally, he was the one receiving some sort of therapy from Dick. "Look. We are just going to sit here, eat ice cream, watch a few chick flicks, and braid each other's hair. After that, we go home, and you have a very long talk about your feeling with Bruce. The Replacement and Demon Brat are having their own therapy session with him right now."

Dick offered a weak smile. "That sounds fun. Although I really wish you'd stop calling them that."

Jason shrugged and turned on the TV. "Today, I'm your therapist. We can talk about my need to use degrading nicknames when it's your turn to be my therapist again."

For the first time since Dick and Bruce started fighting, Dick let out a deep laugh. Jason couldn't help but to start to laugh with him. Maybe, just maybe, their family would make it out of this one okay.

###

Bruce woke up slowly. For a brief minute, Bruce didn't remember the fight with Dick, and everything in his world was fine. And then he remembered. It was like a huge weight crashed onto his shoulders. The knowledge of what he had done made him sick to his stomach.

Rolling over, Bruce buried his face in his pillow. Maybe if he waited long enough, Dick would come to him. Or he'd die of dehydration and hunger. Dying sounded by far more pleasant than having another yelling match with Dick.

Hearing his door open, Bruce sat up hopefully. Only to see that it was only Tim and Damian. Bruce flopped back down on his bed. He did not want to deal with them too. Jason had talked to Dick, which might mean that they know what he did. He was never leaving his bed again.

Tim and Damian had other plans though. Tim forced him to sit up and Damian threw gym shorts at him. "Take a shower Father. You smell. We shall meet you in the gym. And no, you do not get a choice in the matter unless you wish us to sic Pennyworth on you."

Bruce sighed. It looked like he had no choice in the matter. He would be getting out of his bed today.

###

Bruce entered the gym and immediately saw Damian and Tim conversing quietly in the corner. Odd part was that they were not fighting, but rather looked like they agreeing on something. Bruce felt a shiver go down his spine. Tim and Damian never agreed on anything out of principal. If they were agreeing on something it could only mean danger for the person they were conspiring against. Bruce knew he was not a good parent when he silently prayed that it was not him, but rather some poor unsuspecting teacher.

Tim looked up at him and offered an awkward smile. "Hey Bruce. Wanna spare?"

Bruce gave both boys a once over. He was not go along with whatever plan that they had without them offering some sort explanation. "Why?"

Damian sniffed indignantly. "The lack of trust you display is simply astounding Father. If you must know, you work through your problems best while exercising. We simply wished to assist you so that you and Grayson could resume being a nauseatingly happy couple."

Absentmindedly, Bruce reminded Damian that they were not a couple and they never would be. He supposed the boys were right. He did tend to figure out his problems while sparring. Though he doubted that was all his boys were up to. "Fine."

Briefly, Bruce noted that both boys were lining up across from him. Apparently, it was going to be a two on one sparring session. Lucky him.

For two whole minutes, the room was filled with only the sound of grunts and flesh hitting flesh. Until Damian broke the silence that is. "I understand why Grayson is mad at you Father, but why is it that you are angry?"

Apparently he wasn't going to be allowed to work out his issues alone. They were going to act as therapists and make sure he came up with the right conclusion. In their position he would do the same thing. There was too much at risk for him to mess up because he was emotionally incompetent at times. "Dick tell you?"

Tim narrowly dodged the roundhouse kick aimed at his head. "No. He told Jason about an email while drunk, Barbara told us the rest. Stop avoiding the question."

Bruce could read between the lines. They had gotten Dick drunk, hacked into his email, then visited Barbara for further interrogation. He wondered whether or not that was grounds for punishment. Probably not. He'd do the same.

Growling slightly as Tim managed to land a blow to his chin, Bruce tried to sweep Damian's legs out from under him. "I don't know."

Bruce watched in amazement as Tim launched Damian in the air without so much as a single word in exchange. The amazement turned into pain, when after doing a flip and landing with his hands on Bruce's shoulders, Damian savagely kicked him in the back with both feet. "That's not good enough Father! Figure it out!"

Bruce got up off the mats and wiped a trickle of blood from his lip. Apparently, he had bit it when he fell. Getting back in a fighting position, Bruce quickly aimed a punch at Damian's head. As predicted, the boy ducted, but he was unable to jump over Bruce's low sweep and landed on his butt. "I'm angry that he's angry! It happened a long time ago! We were drunk, and it didn't mean a damn thing to me. I regretted it as soon as I realised who was in bed with me."

Blocking a punch, Tim growled. Bruce and Dick were such knuckleheads. "Then why don't you tell him that! All he knows is that you slept with her. Maybe if the two of you stopped yelling for a moment, you two could have resolved this on your own without needing intervention!"

Bruce gave an angry shout before dropping down to the ground and punching the mats as hard as he could. Closing his eyes, Bruce counted to ten. Opening them, he offered the two boys a weak smile. "I guess that's why we need you guys. Someone has to tell us we're being idiots."

Damian scoffed. "Well I may relish at the idea of calling people out on their idiocy, the idea that you are relying on Todd and Drake to do so too is deplorable."

Tim rolled his eyes good naturally. "You have some time to continue your workout before Dick and Jason come back. Maybe you can use that time to figure out your apology."

Bruce raised an eyebrow. He hadn't even thought to ask whether or not Dick and Jason were in the manor. It was more than big enough for them to be hiding somewhere, but he supposed that it would make the most sense to put some distance between him and Dick. He wondered if it would be appropriate to ask where they were.

As if hearing Bruce's inner thoughts, Tim said, "In Jason's own words, they were going to talk about their feelings while eating ice cream before watching chick flicks and braiding each other's hair. I don't know if that's what they really did, but I guess we'll find out as soon as they come back."

Bruce nodded. That was good enough for him. Walking over to the bench, Bruce grabbed the athletic tape and started to bind his hands. He was going to work on that punching bag like a man possessed, and hopefully, he would figure out what he wanted to say to Dick when he got back.

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 **A/N: One last chapter! I'm kinda sad though...I actually really enjoyed writing this...**

 **Please review!**


	40. Falling Out (Part 4)

**Falling Out (Part 4)**

Dick sighed and closed his eyes. His hand was resting on the door to the manor, but he couldn't bring himself to open it. What if Bruce hadn't had a day filled with self discoveries the way he had? What if he was still angry? What if this went horribly wrong and he bared his soul to Bruce and the man rejected him?

Jason had obviously had enough of being kind and gentle. "Open the damn door, you pansy-ass mental case! You won't figure your shit out by standing out here! Get in there so you can start focusing on my many issues again instead of your own!"

Dick did what he was told, trying to fight off a chuckle. Looked like Jason was done holding his hand and was kicking him out of the nest. Giving himself a quick mental pep talk, Dick pushing opened the door. Only to be met with silence. Dick had been expecting Bruce to be waiting outside the door, but apparently the man was busy with more important things. Dick tried not to feel miffed at that.

As if he was being mentally summoned, Bruce ran down the stairs, running a towel through his wet hair. Seeing Dick, he paused.

Jason looked between them as the awkward silence filled the room. "Yeah. I'll just be over here. Where you aren't. So you can talk. And yeah."

Dick watched in amusement as Jason practically ran out of the room. For all his talk of manning up, he sure was a chicken.

Bruce quirked a smile before turning and nodding at Dick to follow him. Dick wasn't sure how he felt as he followed Bruce into the den and watched the man close and lock the door. Shifting on his feet awkwardly, he watched as Bruce sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. Dick walked over, but sat on the far end of the couch. He pretended that he did not notice a flash of pain enter Bruce's eyes before it quickly disappeared again or the tinge of regret in his stomach.

Seeing that Bruce was obviously not going to start the conversation, he did. "I was hurt. Not angry. And instead of talking about it with you, I lashed out. I should have tried to explain my emotions better to you. I'm sorry."

Dick realized that he had been motioning frantically with his explanation. He awkwardly put his hands down in his lap, a faint blush rising.

Bruce studied him for a moment. He must have found what he was looking forward, because he scooted closer. "I'm sorry too, Chum. I was angry that you were angry." Closing his eyes he sighed. "It never occurred to me that you might not know all the details. That we were both severely inebriated. That the second I woke up and realized who it was in my bed, I was so deeply ashamed of myself. We both agreed that it never happened and that we would never tell anyone. And I honestly never thought about it again. You guys only got together a year later, so it never occurred to me that you would take issue with it."

Dick scooted slightly closer to Bruce. "It only happened that one time?"

Bruce sighed. "Yes. And I wish that there had never been that one time to begin with. And I really wish that I hadn't hurt you with my actions. It was not on purpose, and it will obviously never happen again."

Dick raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin starting to spread across his lips. "Oh? So you'll never hit me again when we spar? Or accidently hurt my feelings?"

Bruce frowned. "No. I'll definitely do that. We both know I'm emotionally incompetent at times."

Dick rolled his eyes. "Geez. Here I was trying to be funny, and you have to take it soㅡ"

Dick was cut off when he was pulled into a tight hug. Sighing softly, Dick pulled Bruce closer and buried his head into Bruce's shoulder. Everything was alright now. And if a few tears leaked out of his eyes, neither man commented.

Finally, Bruce pulled away. Fingering a braided strand of hair on Dick's head, he murmured, "I thought Tim was being funny when he said you guys were braiding each other's hair."

Dick started to chuckle, and soon both of them were full on laughing. "Well after eating a quart of ice cream each and eating enough candy bars to fill Flash, we decided that it was only right that we start braiding each other's hair. I mean there was a Hallmark movie on and everything!"

With that, both men started to quietly converse about their day. And after they were finished with that, they started to talk about everything really. They stayed in the den until Alfred knocked on the door and demanded that they come out and eat dinner.

At dinner, nobody seemed surprised by the resumed friendship of the two men. When questioned, the three boys had shrugged and said that they had always known it was simply a matter of time before one of them pulled their heads out of their asses.

Dick and Bruce shared a knowing smirk. If they had been that confident, why had they worked so hard to get the men to reconcile? They had been more worried than they wished to let on.

The rest of the evening was spent laughing, smiling, teasing, and sharing warm looks. Patrol was unusually light hearted, and Bruce even uncharacteristically offered getting ice cream while in costume. Both Dick and Jason had groaned at that, making the others laugh. Those two were usually the first to jump at an offer of ice cream.

Smiling to himself, Dick decided that it was a good thing that he had gotten that dreaded email. It had made them closer than ever. And it had proven something. That despite their constant complaining, his family did truly love each other. Even if they would never admit it under the influence of Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth. But the important part was that they were there for each other. No matter what.

###

Jason sipped at his hot chocolate with Tim and Damian. Bruce and Dick had disappeared together, probably to watch some movie together. Though in all likelihood, the movie was just an excuse to fall asleep together in Bruce's bed.

Stretching, Jason stood up. "Well, I do believe that Operation M.A.D.R.A.I.D. was a success. I'll see you losers in the morning."

"Wait."

Jason turned and raised an eyebrow at the sound of Tim's voice. "What's the problem Tiny Tim?"

Tim took a calming breathe at the nickname but didn't comment on it. Instead he said, "Who was Babs sending that email to? She said that they agreed to forget it ever happened."

Both Damian and Jason started to swear violently. With his eyes narrowed to slits, Jason said, "Let's go."

"I shall go and fetch the toilet paper."

"I call spraypaint!"

"Great." Tim muttered. "I guess that leaves me with asking Alfred if we can borrow his eggs."

###

The next morning, both Dick and Bruce frowned at the morning news. Apparently, three boys matching Tim, Damian, and Jason's height and weight were caught on video vandalizing the Police Commissioner's daughter's home.

The two men shared a brief look. Seeing Bruce's raised eyebrow, Dick shrugged. They decided it was probably best for all parties if they decided not to bring it up. It's not like they had any incriminating evidence like the sudden lack of eggs and toilet paper in the manor, or the fact that Tim had arrived at breakfast with a smudge of paint behind his ear.

It would definitely be better not to blindly accuse someone with zero proof to prove their involvement. Obviously, Damian's cat had shredded all the toilet paper again, Alfred had gone on a baking spree, and Tim had done some sort of art project. There was zero evidence to prove that they were vandals. And there was no proof that Dick and Bruce heard the news report. It was definitely better if both parties feigned ignorance. Supposedly, it was blissful.

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 **A/N: So...what did you think now that it's done? Its kinda funny, because you wouldn't be able to tell, but I have such a love hate relationship with Barbara Gordon. She's totally badass, yet I think she has made some pretty questionable decisions. Namely the whole sleeping with the father of the guy she's seeing. Nobody's perfect I guess, but I feel like that's a no-brainer. It's worse than sleeping with your significant other's sibling. Anyways, let me know your opinion on this matter. I'm actually pretty curious.**


	41. The Story of Jason

**The Story of Jason**

Jason slipped out of his bed. He was done with trying to sleep only to be embraced by nightmares. Slinking silently down the stairs, Jason tried not to wake anyone up. He really wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

Entering the kitchen, Jason eyed the rum on the counter. He really shouldn't be drinking at four in the morning. Granted, it wasn't everyday that it was the anniversary of the day you clawed your way out of your grave because you were dead. If that wasn't a good excuse to get shit faced drunk, he didn't know what was.

Pouring himself a drink, Jason sat down on one of the barstools and let the memories wash over him.

###

 _Jason woke up in a tight space. The last thing he remembered was Joker and his mom. Then an explosion. He should be dead. Where was he. It certainly wasn't the medical bay in the Batcave._

 _Trying to get his eyes to focus, he felt around. He was in a coffin! Jason forced himself to calm down even though he wanted to scream. He was Robin. There was no way that he was going to die in a stupid coffin. He would get out. He had to._

 _###_

 _Jason staggered down the streets of Gotham. He had to find Batman. Batman needed him. And Jason needed his dad. Feeling a twinge of pain, he looked down at his bloody and swollen fingers. Clawing your way out of your grave was unsurprisingly painful and messy. Jason was pretty sure that he had only one fingernail left. If he was lucky._

 _Spotting a figure swinging from the rooftops, Jason started to call out. Then he saw a smaller figure leap. Jason's heart stuttered to a halt. He had been replaced? Suddenly he knew why Dick had been so angry with Bruce for a while. They had long since made up and Dick had even started hanging out with him, like a real brother._

 _But if he had been replaced already, then obviously those feelings of companionship were all lies. They had never actually cared for him, let alone loved him. He was better off alone. Jason spun around and disappeared back into the dark alley, ignoring that his heart felt like it was made of lead. He had work to do._

 _###_

 _Jason stared at Batman in disgust. How could the man claim to be the World's Greatest Detective and still be asking who he was? Sure he was in a new costume and he was known as a killing antihero and crime boss, but he was still the man's son. Granted the man did think he was dead, but that was no excuse._

 _Finally Jason breathed out, "Don't recognize me Old Man? I'm hurt."_

 _Batman growled. "Don't act as if we know each other. I don't make a habit of associating myself with criminals."_

 _Jason closed his eyes. That one hurt way more than he would ever admit. "Okay. I'll cut you some slack. It's not everyday that your dead son claws his way out of his grave."_

 _Batman staggered. And Jason was shocked at the pained yet hopeful look on his face. "Jason?"_

 _Jason steeled himself. Batman was just playing one of his mind games. He didn't actually care. He never did. "Surprised to see me Old Man?"_

 _Batman took a hesitant step forward and reached out as if to touch him. Jason flinched violently, and the man withdrew his hand as if he was bitten. "Why didn't you come home?"_

 _Jason suddenly felt all of his rage and betrayal bubble to the surface. "Why would I? You already replaced me!"_

 _Bruce, no, Batman flinched at the insinuation. "I didn't replace you Jason. He came to me. I was out of control and he told me that I needed a Robin to keep me in check. Dick wasn't exactly talking to me after you died you know."_

 _For the first time since he had clawed his way out of his grave, Jason felt somewhat peaceful. Dick cared. Dick missed him. Someone cared that he had died._

 _Snapping out of it, Jason shook his head violently and started to back up. He would not be manipulated by Bruce. "I came back and everything was the same. Joker was still causing mayhem and killing people. I thought that after I died, after he killed me, you would have put that monster down. But instead you're still playing that sick cat and mouse game."_

 _Batman once again reached for him. "I can't cross that line Jason. Not even for you. Come home. Please."_

 _Jason shook his head violently and jumped off the roof. The last thing he heard before he disappeared into a back alley was Batman yelling his name._

 _###_

 _Jason climbed through the window of his dingy apartment. It could hardly compare to the luxurious manor that he had lived in a lifetime ago, but it was home._

 _It had been a week since Jason had had his confrontation with Batman, and he was almost surprised that he had yet to run into the man again. Bruce was nothing if persistent. Perhaps the shock of seeing him alive had made him turn into a reclusive hermit while he tried to sort his emotions. It certainly wouldn't be the first time that the man had slunk into the Batcave when things got to emotionally complicated for him._

 _Sighing to himself, Jason tossed his helmet onto the counter. He needed a beer. Or a cigarette. Maybe both. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, Jason jumped when he heard a voice say, "Even if you did die, you're still underage Jason."_

 _Jason turned around to find Dick Grayson lounging on his couch. How had he not noticed the man when he had come in? If he had meant him harm, Jason would be dead already. He had to be more aware before he ended up getting killed. Again._

 _Trying to seem casual, Jason replied, "I do believe I remember receiving a few drunk phone calls from you while you were still underage, so you really shouldn't be talking."_

 _Dick laughed in the way that only he could. Jason immediately felt the tension ease from his body as Dick ambled up to him and hugged him. To Jason's surprise, he now had at least three inches on Dick. A pang filled his gut. He had missed the moment where he was officially taller than his older brother. What else had he missed?_

 _Dick misinterpreted the look on Jason's face. "Don't worry. I didn't tell Bruce where I was going. Besides, he's pretty much holed himself up in the cave. The only reason I found out you were still alive was because Tim called me. Apparently he was on a different rooftop with a handheld long-distance listening device he had created. The kid's a genius."_

 _Jason closed his eyes. Tim. That must be the name of the new Robin. "So the Replacement finally has a name to go along with his face."_

 _Dick scowled slightly. "Don't talk like that Jason. You didn't like it when I called you that."_

 _Jason closed his eyes. "Get out."_

 _Dick looked at him with shocked wide eyes. "Oh. Jaybird, I didn't mean anything by it. I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I did and miss out on a great kid. He's already terrified you'll take Robin back."_

 _Jason squeezed his eyes shut tighter. The voices in his head made no sense anymore. His anger at being replaced suddenly made no sense. He needed Dick to go away so that he could make sense of his anger again. So he could justify the rage at Bruce and the kid. "Get out! I want you out!"_

 _Dick's expression looked like a kicked puppy. "Okay. I'll leave. But I will be back again tomorrow. And I will keep coming back. Because Jay, while I might have been a sucky big brother the first time around, I want to make it up to you now. So I will keep coming back and showing you that I care. Despite how hard you try and pretend that I don't."_

 _Jason opened his eyes to find Dick gone. He found no relief in that, knowing that the bastard would be back every single night. Smiling weakly, Jason stared out the window at the cold Gotham night. "Your wrong Dickiebird. You weren't a terrible brother the first time around. You were the best one I could've hoped for."_

 _Closing the window, Jason sighed. He really needed to get better locks. Not that that would stop Dick if he really wanted to get in. But maybe it would slow him down enough for Jason to run. Not that he particularly wanted to. He kind of liked that someone cared. Even if it was someone as overbearing and dramatic as Richard Grayson._

 _###_

 _Jason stared at his brother. "Are you fucking kidding me? You brought my replacement with you this time?"_

 _Dick had kept his word, much to Jason's relief and annoyance. It had been months, and Dick had dutifully come every single night. Even when there was an Arkham breakout, Dick still came and crashed on his couch. Jason sure how he felt about that, but now he was definitely annoyed. This was crossing the line. Big time._

 _Dick held up his hands in surrender and the boy, Tim, stood slightly behind him as if he was creating a barrier between him and Jason. Jason was pretty sure that that hurt his feelings, but his emotions were so fucked up that he honestly couldn't tell anymore. Dick had become some sort of impromptu therapist for him, listening to all of his rants, and helping him sort through his emotions. But he doubted that even Dick could name what he was feeling this time._

 _Jason stared at the boy for a moment. He wasn't much younger than Jason was. But he was a whole lot smaller. This kid made Dick look tall and Jason was pleased to say that the height difference between him and Dick was now four inches. Closing his eyes for a moment, Jason took a fortifying breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you kid."_

 _Tim jutted his chin up. "Like I would be scared of you. Dick says you're a giant teddy bear."_

 _Jason was about to yell at Dick for spreading rumors about him, when the man shoved a DVD in his face. "I brought movies and popcorn. No fighting on movie nights!"_

 _Jason had no idea where Dick had come up with that rule, but he decided to let it slide. Movies meant silence, which meant that he would not have to interact with his replacement. Maybe that was Dick's plan. To force them in the same room together without having to interact. He had to give the man props, it was a pretty good plan._

 _Jason was surprised that he found himself enjoying the movie night, and even more surprised that when Dick showed up at his apartment the next week with Tim and a movie, that he found himself not complaining. It became a tradition. Once a week both showed up for a movie. Dick still showed up every night to talk about his day and whatever else randomly popped in his head, but Jason no longer felt like it was an annoyance. It was nice having someone to talk to. Someone who actually cared about what you said and how your day was. Jason wasn't sure that he liked caring, but he decided just to let it play out._

 _###_

 _Dick no longer showed up every day. He made it a point to come at least once a week, but Jason couldn't fault the man. He was Batman now, and he had a new Robin. Damian, Bruce's biological son. Jason had met the boy once, and honestly didn't know how Dick dealt with the kid._

 _Tim showed up every once and awhile. Jason always made it a point to be nice to the kid and force him to eat and sleep. Dick had asked him to. The kid had been replaced and it fucking sucked. Jason knew that just as well as Dick did. What worried Jason the most was Tim's determination that Bruce was still alive. If anyone knew that miracles happened, it was Jason. He came back to life after all. Granted, Talia had done that while trying to earn brownie points with Bruce, but that was a different story. One that he barely remembered._

 _Jason decided that he wouldn't try to tell Tim that Bruce was dead. Dick had done that, and now the kid barely talked to him. Not that Jason didn't understand Dick's point of view too. Dick had lost his second father and now had to be a father figure for a boy who barely followed orders not to mention respected him. Dick probably couldn't bring himself to hope that Bruce was still alive without all his carefully made walls crumpling. Jason knew the feeling. It fucking sucked._

 _Jason had no idea why he ended up answering the emergency call on the comn he had been given. He never had before, and he had planned to never answer it. But something in his gut told him to go, so he did. There he witnessed first hand that Tim was right and Bruce was still alive._

 _Bruce stood there as imposing as ever, even without the costume on. He watched as Dick launched himself at the man, not caring that he had allowed them to think that he was dead for months. Tim joined the hug a little more reserved, and even Damian allowed himself to stand close enough for Bruce to put a hand on his shoulder._

 _Dick spotted him, and waved at him to join the rest of the family. Jason watched as Bruce turned around and a pained look flashed across his face before disappearing again. Jason squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He was not a part of their little family. Turning around, Jason walked away._

 _###_

 _Jason stared at the kid in front of him incredulously. Who the hell did he think he was? First, he demands that Jason meet him on this rooftop, and now he's demanding that he go to Dick's birthday party?_

 _Jason remembered when Dick handed him the invite. For the first time since Jason had known him, the man had looked awkward in his own skin. "So you don't have to come or anything, I just thought it might be nice if the whole family would be there. It's going to be super small, I promise. Just us, a few heroes that know all of our identities, and Barbara."_

 _Jason had raised an eyebrow at the dreamy way that Dick had said her name. It was obvious that even after all these years he still was pining after the woman. Even though Jason doubted that she had ever given him the time of day._

 _The invite had been heavy in his hand. "I'll think about it."_

 _Dick had looked so hopeful that Jason almost felt bad about calling and cancelling a week before the party. He couldn't be there. He couldn't see the look on Bruce's face when he saw Jason._

 _Dick had tried to sound normal, but Jason could tell that the man was disappointed. Jason had tried to make it up to him by offering to drop a present off the day before, but Dick had just sniffed tearfully and said that he didn't want anything from him asides him showing up. Jason hadn't been sure how to respond to that, so he just hung up._

 _Now, Damian stood before him, the night before the party, and insisted that he attend. Jason had tried to walk away, and in return the kid tried to stab him with his katana. Jason wasn't really sure why Bruce let the kid keep that thing. The kid was obviously bloodthirsty._

" _Look kid. Me and Bruce have a lot of issues to sort out. The kind that you don't sort out at a birthday party."_

 _Damian scoffed. "Father has issues to sort out with everyone. Grayson included. Simply avoid Father and attend for Grayson's sake."_

 _Jason wasn't sure what the kid's deal was with calling everyone by their last names. It was weird. Then again, Jason wasn't exactly what you would call a prime example of normalcy either. "And if I don't want to attend?"_

 _Damian frowned and got up. "Then you are by far not the man that Grayson led me to believe you are. Grayson has stood by your side for a long time. Perhaps it is time for you to show that you are capable of the same."_

 _Jason wished that the kid didn't jump off of the building so that he could strangle him. Who was he to judge him? Granted, the kid had been through some shit if half the things that Dick had said were true. All of them had been through shit, Bruce included. Maybe that's why Dick was able to see them as a family. Maybe it was time that he took the leap and tried to make them feel like they were his family._

 _###_

 _Jason stood awkwardly in front of the manor. He hadn't wanted to come empty handed, so he bought a bag of gummy bears. It was one of those novelty ones, so it only had Robin colors along with a cartoon picture of his face on the packaging. He hoped that Dick would find it amusing. He couldn't really afford anything extravagant._

 _Jason had to force himself to raise a hand and knock. The thirty seconds it took for someone to answer the door were the scariest of his life. He had almost convinced himself to leave when the door swung open._

 _Dick stood there with a party hat sitting crookedly on his head. When he saw Jason, his eyes started to mist up and he tackled him in a hug. "Jason! You came! Damian said that you would, but I told him that you had cancelled! I'm glad I was wrong!"_

 _Letting go of Jason, Dick ushered him inside the foyer. Jason thrust the gummy bears into the man's hands. "So, um, here. Happy Birthday."_

 _Dick grinned and laughed. "Oh man Jay! This is great. You'll have to show me where  
I can buy these. They can be the official snack on movie nights."_

 _Something broken in Jason settled back into place just like that. He didn't even complain much when Dick showed him off to each of the guests like he was some sort of prized possession._

 _Later, Jason was leaning against the wall with his glass of non-alcoholic punch as he watched Dick animatedly tell some sort of story. Guessing by the pained look on Wally's face, it was probably about him._

 _Feeling someone move to lean against the wall behind him, Jason turned around. It was Bruce. Of fucking course. He turned to leave, but Bruce caught him around the wrist. "Wait. Please. Can we talk for a minute."_

 _Jason glanced back at the party before nodding and allowing Bruce to lead the way to his office. They'd have some privacy there, and more importantly they wouldn't disturb the other guests if things got ugly._

 _Jason wasn't sure how he felt. Being alone with Bruce was overwhelming. Dick had once told him that he shouldn't force himself to stay in situations where he was emotionally confused. That he should take baby steps. Jason always thought he was more of a jump into deep end kind of guy._

 _Bruce shifted awkwardly. "I'm glad you came. Dick was disappointed when you said you couldn't make it."_

 _Jason didn't say anything, and Bruce shifted again. He was glad that he made Bruce just as uncomfortable as the man made him. Bruce cleared his throat and tried again. "I was disappointed too. When you said you couldn't come."_

 _Jason blinked. He definitely was not expecting that. "You were? Why? I thought you would be glad!"_

 _Bruce looked confused. "Why would I be glad?"_

" _Well it's not like you've tried very hard to get me to come back."_

 _Bruce blinked. "Only because both Alfred and Dick told me to give you space. That I couldn't force you to come home and it had be your choice to approach me."_

 _That actually made sense. If Bruce had approached him, he would've resisted harder just to spite the man. He wasn't sure he liked how well Dick knew him though. It was weird that the man was able to get in his head that well._

 _Unable to figure out anything else to say, Jason said, "Oh."_

 _Bruce quirked small smile. "Yeah."_

 _The room lapsed into silence again, but it wasn't as awkward as it was before. Once again it was Bruce who broke the silence. "Do think you'll come by to visit again after this?"_

 _Jason made a move to leave the study. "Yeah. But under my terms. I'm not ready yet to come by without emotional blackmail."_

 _###_

 _Jason stormed into the manor with a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder. He had been visiting whenever the urge hit him for a few months now, but today wasn't about wanted a hot meal or visiting his family. Cockroaches had infested his apartment until it was uninhabitable. He needed a place to crash until he could find a new apartement._

 _He told Bruce this much when the whole family went to investigate who had entered the manor unexpectedly. Dick's eyes literally had stars in them and Jason knew that the man was envisioning him moving back in on a permanent basis. The man was shit out of luck. He was out the second he found a decent apartment._

 _Bruce told him that his old room was available, and Jason stormed in and looked around. It was the exact same as he had left it. He had good taste. His room was awesome._

 _Despite the fact that Jason had planned to be gone within a week, somehow he always managed to find an excuse to stay a few days longer. It was Damian who said it. "Just man up already and admit you are living here Todd! We all know you're not planning on leaving anytime soon!"_

 _Apparently he was more transparent than he would like to think. Growling slightly, he said, "Fine. I'm living here. You okay with that Old Man?"_

 _Bruce shook his head while silently laughing. "More than okay, Jason. I'm glad you found your way home again."_

 _Jason smiled slightly as Tim and Damian resumed fighting again, and Dick gave him a cheshire grin. Kicking his boots onto the table in front of him, Jason smirked. It was good to be home again. That is, until Alfred walked by and noticed that his feet were on his clean table. Jason couldn't remember being scolded like that since he was a child. Even after that, he was glad that he had made his way home again._

 _###_

Jason stared at the drink in front of him. He had yet to actually take a drink from it. He didn't know why, it just didn't feel right. It was weird, he always drank the day away on this day, but this year he couldn't bring himself to take a sip.

Hearing what sounded like a wild herd of elephants coming down the stairs, Jason looked up. His brothers came into the kitchen all pushing and shoving their way past each other. When they saw him, their looks instantly sobered.

Dick stepped forward. "Hey Jay. Today's the day, isn't it?"

Jason didn't bother answering. He just turned back around and continued to stare at his drink.

Damian sighed dramatically. "While I would usually revolt at the idea, would you like to do something with us today Todd? Perhaps we can watch a movie?"

Dick's eyes lit up. "Oh! I have Robin gummy bears! And I bet Alfred would make us popcorn!"

Tim didn't say anything, but instead put a hand on Jason's shoulder. Jason stared at his drink. Maybe that's why he couldn't bring himself to get shit faced. He had people now. People who would take care of him so that he would no longer need to solve his problems with alcohol.

Pushing the drink away, Jason sat up. "Okay. Just make it a good movie. None of that Disney shit. And I swear, there better not be anyone being buried alive."

Jason let his brothers drag him into the den. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad day after all.

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 **A/N: So I hope that cleared some things up. A few of you guys including _Sketchistrator1_** **asked me to do a story of how Jason came back home, so here it is. Really hoped you liked it. Please review!**

 **FYI This story got so long that google docs wouldn't let me add anymore chapters, so I had to start a new doc.**


	42. Of Charity Balls and Confessions

**Of Charity Balls And Confessions**

Dick sighed and pulled at his tie. After all the years dressing for high society, he still hated the thing. It felt as if he was willingly putting a noose on. At work, nobody minded when he didn't were one or when he kept it loose. Unfortunately, he would be headline gossip if he didn't dress appropriately, and he honestly was talked about enough without adding to the malicious comments.

It was the annual charity ball for the Gotham PD. As usual, Bruce had escaped going by claiming a Justice League emergency, leaving Dick, Tim, and Jason to decided who the representative of the Wayne Foundation would be. Damian wasn't old enough nor did he possess enough self-control to attend as the representative without Bruce being present. Lucky son of a bitch.

Dick was ashamed to admit that when he lost the rock, paper, scissors contest, he swore, loudly. His brothers had laughed at his misfortune and were probably still laughing as he tried to mingle with the painfully fake people that were surrounding him.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Commissioner Gordon kept eyeing him like he wanted to walk over. Dick winced. If there was one thing that he didn't want to do tonight, it was talk to the father of his ex-fiance. There was also the small fact that his brothers had recently vandalised his daughter's house, and the Police Commissioner was smart enough to put it together. And if that wasn't enough, his daughter had slept with Dick's father, the very thought of which made Dick cringe. He may have forgiven Bruce, but he was a long way away from being able to forgive Barbara, let alone talk to her father.

Deciding that he had definitely earned it, Dick grabbed a scotch off of a platter from a passing waiter. He was more of a martini kind of guy, but hard liquor was hard liquor, and if the purpose in Commissioner Gordon's stride was anything to go on, he was going to need it.

Downing the drink in one gulp, Dick gave the Commissioner a small finger wave. "Hey there Mr. Gordon. Lovely turn out this year, right?"

Stopping in front of Dick, the Commissioner gave a small frown. "By now, you really should call me Jim, Dick. Where's Bruce and the boys?"

Dick made a noncommittal sound that gave Jim the clear impression that Dick would probably never call him by his first name. "Bruce had an important meeting, and as always, the boys and I duked it out over who had to come."

Seeing the wary sideways glance that Jim was giving him, Dick grinned slightly. "We played rock, paper, scissors, loser had to come. Even we don't want to come, and we're the ones throwing the event! Personally, I blame Bruce. He likes to complain a lot before coming to these events, and at the young and impressionable age that he took us all in at, we inherited his dislike. Though, you'd never guess by the smile he was wearing the whole event that he wanted to be anywhere but."

Dick fell into silence. Jim took the moment to process that Bruce Wayne hated the parties as much as he did. Perhaps, there was more to the playboy than he had originally thought. Granted, the man had taken in three children as well as one of his own.

Dick shifted slightly, and Jim took a moment to study him. He looked remarkably well for someone who had supposedly just gotten his heart broken. Not to mention, if half the tabloids were true, he was dating again. Well Bruce Wayne style dating.

Dick shifted again this time more awkwardly. Jim realized that the boy knew that he was studying him. He had known, but had allowed Jim to keep studying him anyways. Shaking his head slightly, he finally asked the question that had been on his mind since he had seen Dick greeting guests. "Why did you break things off with Barbara?"

Dick closed his eyes and tilted his chin up to the ceiling as if he was looking for answers. Eventually, he opened his eyes and softly said, "She broke things off with me."

Barbara had admitted as much, so Jim already knew this. "We both know she didn't mean it. Leaving the state wasn't how you solve your issues."

Dick's hands clenched slightly, and he moved them behind him. Jim wondered if that was how the young man kept himself from hitting someone. "She had kicked me out before that, you know. Every single time it was over something that should've been inconsequential with our happiness. A plate put in the wrong place, a wrong order of Chinese food, a emergency call from one of my brothers on a night where I promised no phone calls. Every single time she kicked me out, I'd come back with roses and apologies. I just couldn't do it anymore."

Jim took a second to process that information. Barbara had failed to mention all that. Nevertheless, Jim tried to stick up for his daughter. "She loves you."

Dick shook his head. "Sometimes love isn't enough to fix what's broken inside of us."

"Are we talking about you or her now?"

Dick offered a weak smile. "Both I suppose. Though my brothers and father are helping me."

Hearing his name being called, Dick started to move to the stage at the front of the room. Apparently, it was time for him to make some sort of speech. Turning to give one last look at the Commissioner, Dick paused for a second. "Commissioner, while my relationship with your daughter is our business alone, if you really wanted to know why we won't be getting back together, you can ask her. Oh. And you can tell her that I may have forgiven Bruce, but she has a long way to go before she can consider herself in my good graces. As far as I'm concerned, the vandalism on her property was well deserved."

Commissioner Gordon watched as Dick walked up to the stage with a huge grin on his face. There, he made a joke about this being the safest fundraiser of the year considering that many of the guests were police officers. Jim wondered how the boy could so easily flip from solemn and serious to easy going and happy. Was it all just an act? And if it was, who was the real Dick Grayson? Had his daughter known him, or had she known just another facet of him.

Jim recalled Bruce Wayne once calling Dick a hidden gem. At the time, he had just thought that the man was boasting about his child. But could he have been referring to the fact that Dick had as many faces as a gemstone?

That made Jim shake his head. He was looking way to deeply for meaning. In all likelihood, the boy was somewhat drunk, and had forgotten their conversation as soon as he had walked away. He had downed that scotch pretty quickly after all.

In any case, he could simply ask Barbara if he wanted answers badly enough. It seemed that his daughter was keeping secrets. Apparently, Dick hadn't called it quits when the going got tough like she had made it seem. And then there was that secret that Dick had alluded to. What could she have possibly done with Bruce that had made Dick have to forgive his father? And yet Dick still wouldn't forgive Barbara. From the boy's tone of voice, it had taken a lot to forgive his Bruce, and they were family. The fact of the matter is, Jim couldn't remember seeing the two men ever argue, let alone need to forgive each other.

Hearing his name being called, Jim shook his head and went to mingle. He could worry about this later. He had lunch with Barbara tomorrow afternoon, so perhaps he could pass along Dick's message and observe her reactions. Her body might accidentally give away what had happened. He hadn't become Police Commissioner for no reason, he was a fairly good detective.

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 **A/N: Okay...I really need to do a light and fluffy one next. This is too much depressive for me. Any ideas? Please review!**


	43. Beach Adventures

**Beach Adventures**

Dick sprawled out on a towel under the umbrella. This was the life. He had finally managed to convince Bruce that a trip to the beach was a family must, even if it meant taking a day off of work. Not that it really mattered, Bruce was the CEO, and Dick really just dealt with negotiations. Jason and Tim were both department heads so they could easily take the day off too.

When Bruce had tried unsuccessfully to get out of the beach trip last second, Alfred had given him such an earful that Bruce had immediately regretted not being more enthusiastic about the beach trip. Or at least pretending to be more enthusiastic about the beach trip.

Now the man was lying besides him reading his book. Dick shook his head. He should have known that Bruce would spend the whole time doing something he could do at home. Granted, reading on the beach did sound really pleasant. And at least he was not reading his emails.

Deciding to leave Bruce to do his thing, Dick stood up and stripped off his shirt. Kicking off his flip flops, Dick walked to the water where his brothers were wrestling. Or rather, where an all out war for dominance had began.

Entering the battle zone, Dick held up his hands. "I come in peace."

Apparently, his brothers weren't having any of that, because Jason jumped on his back, knocking Dick face first into the salty water.

Pushing himself up so that he was on all fours, Dick wiped the water off of his face before narrowing his eyes at his grinning brothers. They had planned this. "It is so on."

###

Bruce used his book to cover his eyes as he lay back in the sand. Perhaps he should have been watching his sons more carefully. Damian was only ten after all. But Dick was with them, and despite all of his emotional immaturity, he could be responsible. And no doubt at this moment he was acting as the second parent his boys often found themselves needing.

Closing his eyes, Bruce wondered whether or not Dick wished that he had a mother figure. The other boys had Dick if they needed the caring and nurturing parent. Dick didn't have that. He just had Bruce, and while the boy never complained, Bruce couldn't help but feel insecure. What if he wasn't enough? What if Dick secretly resented the fact that Bruce never settled down and gave him a maternal figure?

Snorting, Bruce shook his head slightly as if expelling the thoughts. Who was he kidding? Dick had purposely run off each of his girlfriends since he began living at the manor. If he really wanted a maternal figure he wouldn't have been so possessive of him.

Dick's possessiveness made him laugh. While Damian might still have his suspicions that they were some sort of couple, Bruce knew the truth. They just understood each other in a way few could. Perhaps one day, he'd have that kind of relationship with each of his sons. But he doubted it. That kind of relationship was a rare and precious. He was lucky to have it with one person.

And it wasn't just that. Dick was different. He wasn't as broken or emotionally unavailable as the rest of them. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and even if was guarded by kevlar and reinforced steel, it was still more vulnerable than the rest of the Bat Clan who kept their hearts in impenetrable vaults made out of kryptonite and lead. Maybe that's why Dick was so charismatic. People could tell that he was more emotionally available than the rest of the Wayne family. Or maybe it was because he grew up in a circus and therefore knew how to charm people. It didn't really matter. Either way, Dick was the best of them. And he doubted that his brothers would disagree. Even if they wanted to be contrary.

Shifting slightly, Bruce allowed himself to fully relax. A nice nap on the beach sounded very pleasant. Not to mention a statistical improbability. Maybe if he fell asleep quickly, he wouldn't have to deal with whatever was bound to go wrong.

Closing his eyes, Bruce took a deep breathe, and then there was a loud screech. Sighing, he sat up. His boys just had to strike before he could fall asleep. Figures.

###

Dick averted his eyes guiltily at the woman they had dragged into their battle. She had been walking down the water's edge minding her own business when Jason and Tim tossed Dick into her. Well, maybe Dick was planning on flipping and charging back at them, but when he saw the unsuspecting woman, he changed plans and hit her, flipping them midair so that he would take the brunt of the fall. If he had done a flip as he had originally planned, he would've kicked her in the head, so it seemed like the better idea. In theory at least.

She had of course screamed when they fell, and Dick almost regretted not knocking her out. He really regretted it when she got off of him and splashed water angrily at Damian. Damian being, well, Damian, growled before tackling the woman into deeper water.

Dick tried to diffuse the situation, but both the woman and Damian turned and glared at him before shouting that it was none of his business. As more people approached, Dick couldn't help but think that it was going to get very bad, very fast.

Sure enough, a man approached and tried to pry a struggling Damian off of the woman. To Dick's utter shock, and maybe delight, Tim tackled the man into the water. Jason, wasn't helping, but rather laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

That's of course when Bruce showed up. And because the man had the worst timing ever, he saw Damian and Tim fighting random people with Jason laughing. Assuming the worst, Bruce turned to yell at Jason for getting his brothers to fight. Jason's eyes narrowed and he tackled Bruce into the water.

Dick face palmed. This was utterly ridiculous. Trying for once to be the mature one, Dick tried to settle the intense water debate. The crowd around him was not helping as people either cheered on the contestants of the water battle or joined in by tackling their neighbors.

Five minutes later, Dick was the only one not battling for his life and integrity. Shrugging slightly, Dick sighed. "Well if you can't beat them, you might as well join them." With that, Dick jumped on top of Bruce. He might as well help his little brother take out his father.

###

Alfred skimmed the morning paper as he prepared coffee and breakfast for the sleeping masters. One article held his particular interest, and he stopped to read it more thoroughly.

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 **Yesterday, one of the most intense water battles in Gotham history happened at the Thomas Wayne Memorial Beach. Incidentally, the event included Bruce Wayne and his four sons. His sons appeared to be the cause of the impromptu water battle when Dick was thrown into an unsuspecting passerby by his brothers.**

 **This passerby proceeded to splash Damian, which turned into an intense debate. In the end, Tim defended his brother's honor when a man tried to diffuse the situation, and Bruce was dragged into the fight by his son Jason.**

 **According to participants, Dick tried to stop the event but when nobody listened he joined in. Those same participants quote that 'This [was] the best beach day ever!' And that '[We] had so much fun that I would gladly pay if the Wayne's decided to do another one for charity.'**

 **The Wayne's have yet to officially comment, but we're hoping that with the rising sun, there will be some comment on what happened, whether it be official or otherwise. And this reporter for one, is hoping that there will be another event like this, and that she'll be there to participate.**

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Alfred smirked slightly and shook his head. All the boys had failed to mention that event when they had come home. But no matter, he had found out anyways. Perhaps he should allude to the water battle before he gave Master Bruce the paper. They would all be paranoid that something had given them away, or that he was 'magic'.

Yes, perhaps that would be the best course of action. It would teach them not to keep secrets from him. After all, he always found out, one way or another.

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 **A/N: So...fluffy and light. Thanks RoseVered for the idea. Please, please please review!**

 **Question: Who's your favorite brother and why?**

 **My answer: Well I think it's quite obvious that I really like Dick, but I also really like Jason. He has a potty mouth and I think that he cares more deeply than people imagine. Then again Tim's dry humor matches my own in real life and Damian has to overcome so much. All the things that he was trained in and ect. So I really like them all, but if I had to pick an absolute favorite it would probably be Dick just because he was a circus brat and he made Bruce care for something other than revenge and justice for the first time since his parents died.**


	44. Baking Disasters

**Baking Disasters**

Dick shuffled down the stairs yawning. It had been a late night in Gotham and he really wanted to enjoy his Sunday. Maybe he could convince his brothers and Bruce to sit down and watch a movie with him.

Entering the kitchen, Dick waved a sleepy hand in the direction that Alfred was usually standing in. Grabbing a coffee mug, Dick reached for the coffee that Alfred had prepared with love. Blinking, Dick noticed that the pot of coffee had a sticky note attached to it. Pulling it off, Dick rubbed his eyes before reading it.

 **I presume that Master Dick shall be the first one awake this morning and therefore the first one reading this note. Master Dick, I regret leaving you to inform your family that I must take emergency time off. My sister has fallen dreadfully ill, and I must travel to England to attend to her. I am afraid that you boys are on your own for the week or so that I shall be gone. Please stay out of the kitchen and instead go to restaurants for lunch and dinner. I am afraid that despite your good intentions, I will return to no kitchen. Please do take good care of yourselves.**

 **With fondest regards,**

 **Alfred Pennyworth**

Dick blinked. Well alright then. They could handle a week without Alfred. As long as Bruce stayed out of the kitchen, they'd be fine. Pouring himself some coffee, Dick went off in search of his cereal. Now that, was something he couldn't live without.

###

By the time that the rest of his family finally made it down the stairs, Dick had graduated from eating his cereal to channel surfing in the den. There was nothing of interest on TV. Eventually, he settled on watching some sort of weird movie. The kind that he would never watch if he wasn't so bored.

Dick lifted his head up lazily when Damian stormed into the den. His youngest rarely displayed any emotion other than anger, but it had been a long time since he had seen Damian look so perturbed without the child beating on some poor villain.

"Hey Little D. What seems to be the problem?"

Damian crossed his arms. Dick thought that he looked awfully cute, but decided not to mention it. Most likely, the boy was going for 'fierce' not 'cute'. Dick was startled out of his thoughts when Damian sniffed indignantly. "I wish to find Pennyworth, but I am unable to track the man. Are you aware of his whereabouts?"

Dick ran a hand through his hair. Oops. Apparently he forgot to do the one task assigned to him by Alfred. Or at least, to put the note back where he found it.

Standing up, Dick ushered Damian out of the den and back to the kitchen, where he assumed the rest of his family was still taking in their daily requirement of caffeine.

His presumption was correct, and he found his family lounging in the kitchen in sweatpants and old shirts. Greeting them, Dick rubbed his hands together slightly. He knew that everyone caught the movement and therefore knew that he was slightly uncomfortable. Sometimes it sucked being a part of a family that knew your body language better than you did. "So. Um. I forgot to tell you guys that Alfred is going to be gone for the week. His sister is sick, so he left for England early this morning. He left a note."

Dick dug around in his the pocket of his pants before digging out a very crumpled sticky note. Seeing Bruce eyeing it, Dick tossed it to the man for him to read. It wasn't like it was personal or anything. Not that it really mattered. Bruce probably knew all of his secrets anyways.

Nodding to himself, Bruce gave them each a small smile. "Looks like we're on our own this week. Who wants to pick a place out for dinner?"

Before anyone could answer, Damian stormed out of the room. Dick and Bruce exchanged a glance before Dick raised a single eyebrow and made a shooing gesture. Bruce scowled and Dick rolled his eyes. "You're the father. Go figure out what's wrong."

Bruce's scowl deepened, but he walked out of the room and up the stairs where Damian had disappeared.

Dick turned back to his remaining two brothers. Seeing Tim's raised eyebrow, Dick squinted slightly before asking, "What?"

Tim took another sip of his coffee, before causally shaking his head. "Nothing. I just forgot to say good morning to you, Mother."

Dick blinked as Jason burst out into uproarious laughter. "Wait. I don't get it."

Tim and Jason exchanged a look before both shook their heads and exited the room. Dick trailed after them calling, "Wait. Tell me what's so funny. I don't get it!"

###

Bruce took a second to steady his nerves before knocking on his youngest son's door. Of all his children, it had to be Damian that was upset. He had a hard time connecting to the boy, Dick said it was because they were too similar. Bruce secretly thought it was because neither knew how to properly express any real emotion and therefore had no idea how to interact with people let alone each other.

Entering the room, Bruce saw that Damian was curled up on his bed playing with Alfred the cat. Bruce moved so that he was sitting at the boy's desk. He could hear Dick's voice in his head telling him to sit next to Damian, but he was not comfortable enough to do so without the boy giving him some sort of signal that it was welcomed.

Without looking up from the cat, Damian said, "I supposed Grayson made you check up on me, Father."

Bruce winced internally. The boy shouldn't know that Dick had to ask him to come. Bruce shouldn't need Dick to ask him. "Yes. Would you like to tell me what upset you?"

Damian sniffed. "I am not upset. Children get upset, and I am not child. I am merely irritated that Pennyworth left without considering his prior engagements."

Bruce nodded slowly deciding not to point out that Damian was ten, and therefore a child. "Alfred had a family emergency Damian. It couldn't be helped. Besides, as far as I know, Alfred didn't have anything pressing scheduled this week."

Damian scoffed. "Pennyworth was scheduled to make five dozen cookies for the bake sale this week."

Bruce softened. So the boy was feeling forgotten. He could handle that. "I'm sure Alfred didn't mean to forget. He was just in a rush this morning. Why don't we go and buy some cookies for the bake sale?"

For the first time, Damian looked up from his cat. "I'm afraid the wretched PTA mothers have demanded that everything be homemade from scratch. I was hoping that Pennyworth's superior cookies would earn me the companionship of some of my peers."

Bruce looked at the boy in silence for a moment. He had never even thought that the boy might be struggling to make friends at school. Dick, Jason, and Tim had all had to fight for friends. None had really succeeded. Or at least succeeded to the point where they invited kids over. They had all found solace within the superhero community. But Damian didn't even have that. The few heroes he had met did not like him, and the feeling was mutual. Bruce supposed that Dick, Tim and Jason were the boy's only friends. And of course Alfred, the cat that is.

Cursing his own lack of awareness, Bruce moved so that he was sitting down next to Damian. Putting a hand on the boy's shoulder, he felt as Damian relaxed and leaned ever so slightly into him. "I guess we'll have to make some damn good cookies then." He'd let Dick explain that friends should not be bought, even if it was just with cookies.

###

Bruce stared at all of his sons as they lined up outside the kitchen. As expected, Dick had been waiting for him in the hallway of Damian's room. Bruce had hastily explained the situation, and watched as a pained look overtook Dick's face before it was replaced with a look of determination.

His eldest son had then proceeded to march into Jason's room and drag the boy out before marching into Tim's room and doing the same. From there, he had dragged both protesting boys down the stairs with Bruce and Damian following behind them. They had only stopped protesting when the situation was explained to them.

Now, all of them stood outside the kitchen with one goal in mind. Somehow they needed to overcome their curse to perpetually burn things and make the best cookies in the world.

###

Dick wasn't sure exactly how many batches of cookies they'd made at this point. All he knew was that he had lost count after five. One dough had been as hard as a rock, one had turned blue with yellow spots for unknown reasons, one dough had been the consistency of honey, the next literally bounced across the room when Jason tossed it onto the counter, and one had literally caught on fire in the mixing bowl. Dick honestly couldn't say he was too surprised.

After three hours and a lot of wasted ingredients, Dick was confident that they finally had the right batch. They had been pulled out of the oven a golden brown and smelled heavenly. Now they just had to make four more identical batches.

Jason, apparently didn't have the same confidence as Dick did. "You think we should try one and make sure that it's edible?"

Nobody volunteered. Dick rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the cookies and took a bite. Everyone watched him closely. Dick swallowed and was about to say that it tasted amazing, when his stomach lurched.

Running out of the room, Dick managed to throw up in a small waste bin. Standing up, Dick caught a glimpse of his reflection in the corner of his eye. He was positively green in the face, and looked slightly better than death. Dick was almost amazed that he was able to contract food poisoning so quickly. They truly had a talent. Granted, it wasn't exactly a talent most people would appreciate.

Returning to the kitchen with the waste bucket in hand, Dick groaned, "I would start over if I were you. I'm pretty sure that the PTA moms would prefer store bought cookies to that."

Dick left the kitchen. They could continue without him. He had a new best friend to get acquainted with. If you could call the toilet a friend.

###

Dick sat back. He was pretty sure that he was done throwing up. For now at least. Leaning over to rinse his mouth out in the sink, Dick almost hit his head as an explosion shook the manor.

Running out of the bathroom, Dick rounded the corner to find his brothers and father crawling out of a smoke filled kitchen. Grabbing the fire extinguisher from its place in a cabinet, Dick ran into the kitchen and extinguished the flames that surrounded what remained of the oven.

Exiting the kitchen, Dick opened all the windows and doors before taking the batteries out of the fire alarm. No need to alert the fire department when it was all taken care of.

Dick then carefully examined his brothers and father. They seemed relatively unscathed except for the fact that they were completely covered in soot. Running a hand down his face, Dick slowly asked, "Do I want to know?"

Tim gave him a frazzled look. "They weren't baking! They were in there for an hour and still looked the same as when we put them in! So we turned up the oven temperature, and suddenly the thing explodes!"

Dick nodded. That was reasonable. Perhaps they were just people not meant to be in the kitchen. Shifting his gaze to Damian, he saw the disappointed look the boy was trying to mask. Dick's heart broke. Virtually anything else, and someone in the family would be a master. Unfortunately, Alfred was the only iron chef in the family.

Dick's eyes widened. So they needed to find someone outside the family who was an amazing baker. Someone who liked them and would feel inclined to help Damian. Someone like a mother.

Turning to his father, Dick grinned. "All of you go take a shower. After that, we roll out. I think I know who can make cookies almost as good as Alfred's."

###

Dick sighed in contentment as he shoved his third cookie in his mouth. These were heavenly. Not as heavenly as Alfred's, but still. Judging from the content sighs coming from the other occupants in the room, they agreed.

Turning to Ma Kent, Dick gave her a giant thumbs up. The woman chuckled softly before shaking her head. "Oh you stop it Sweetie. They're nowhere near as good as Alfred's."

Dick shook his head, but didn't disagree. He wouldn't want to lie to their savior. Bruce cleared his throat slightly and gave the woman a small but genuine smile. "Thank you for your help, Mrs. Kent. We ruined the kitchen in our plight to make cookies for Damian. I'm glad that our lack of culinary skills will not deprive Damian of showing up with the best cookies."

Ma Kent let out a loud laugh before hitting Bruce with a dish rag. "Call me Ma, Bruce. Everyone does. There's no need to be formal here."

Bruce's smile slipped just enough for Dick to know that he would never call her Ma willingly. While Bruce may have helped him move past the death of his parents, nobody had ever extended Bruce the same courtesy. Dick's heart ached for the young Bruce who was left alone with his pain, the only outlet being the extensive planning to rid Gotham of crime.

Shaking his head slightly, Dick focused on the present. His family was all safe and happy, his stomach had been magically cured by Ma Kent's herbal tea remedy, Damian would have fantastic cookies to bring to school tomorrow, and the contractors said that they could fix the kitchen before Alfred got back. As far as he was concerned, it was the best Sunday he could have hoped for.

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 **A/N: Thanks to all of you that responded to my question! If you guys haven't seen the Suicide Squad 2 trailer, I recommend it! It hints that Red Hood will be in the movie!**

 **So should I make asking a random question a thing? I actually really do like reading your responses, but I can see how it could be annoying.**

 **Anyways...please please please review! I have an idea of what I'm going to write for the next chapter, but I still love receiving ideas and suggestions!**


	45. Meet the Team

**Meet the Team**

Nightwing cursed as he jumped to avoid another punch from the venom user in front of him. Well one of them. Bane had decided that dealing with one of him wasn't enough of a problem, so he had brought an army of venom users with him.

Which led to the current problem. Nightwing and the team were struggling to defeat the venom abusers, partly because the team was not listening to anything he said. He was trying to explain that they needed to cut the tubes, but they ignored him and continued to fight them 'their way'. He understood that they didn't really trust him after he kept the whole 'Kaldur is really a double agent' thing secret, but they were putting their lives at risk to continue being petty and ignoring him.

Nightwing cursed again as he was hit in the ribs. Red Robin wasn't there because he was 'required' in Gotham. More than likely, that meant he was plotting with Red Hood and Robin against him. Not that he really cared, he liked it when his brothers worked together.

Seeing that they were not only going to lose the battle at this rate, but also die, Nightwing raised a gloved hand to his ear. "Nightwing to cave. We have a code get your asses out here before I come home in a bodybag. I repeat, save my ass!"

There was a pause before Red Robin's voice filtered through the comm in his ear. "We locked onto your GPS coordinates Nightwing. Boarding the Batwing now. With the way Hood flies, we'll be there in ten minutes. Keep yourself alive until then." There was a pause, and Nightwing thrust his electric escrima sticks at the closest Bane look alike. "Hood would like to remind you that if anyone gets to kill you, it's him."

Nightwing flipped over the top of one of the Banes and sliced his tubes using a Batarang. The man shrank down to a normal size, and Nightwing quickly put the man in a choke hold. A little breathlessly, he said, "Tell Hood that if I live through this, I will gladly allow him to kill me. As long as he's not tweaking on Venom at the time."

The loud boisterous laughter coming through the comms allowed Nightwing to know that Red Hood had gotten the message. Now, the focus would be on staying alive, and keeping everyone else alive until his brothers could come. In the back of his mind, Nightwing wondered why they hadn't just given in and called the League for backup. Maybe it was a pride thing? Oh well, they could be mad at him for calling in backup. It wasn't like he hadn't committed worse offenses before.

###

Nightwing struggled to fight off the Banes as they forced him to fight them with his back against a wall. He did not have enough room to fight his normal style, so he was forced to fight more Bruce's style. Brute force. Which was hard when you were nowhere near as tall and muscular as the man. To make matters worse, the batteries in his escrima sticks had died, so they were no longer shocking the Banes. Unable to see the team, Nightwing had no idea if they had been taken out or not. Whether or not he was the last one standing.

Eyes flashing with determination, Nightwing let out a vicious stream of attacks. He couldn't keep this up for much longer, so hopefully Red Hood was breaking air traffic laws and going way above the speed limit.

As if hearing his silent plea, the Batwing broke through the cloud cover, and his three brothers rappelled down into the edge of the battlefield. Seeing that he had some room, Nightwing ran up the wall and did a backflip, landing on one of the Banes's head. From there, he jumped from Bane to Bane, until he was standing next to his brothers.

Robin pulled two battery packs from his belt and tossed them at him. "Ttt. You forgot these at the cave Nightwing. Try not to be a completely incompetent next time."

Nightwing smiled and nodded, knowing that that was Robin's way of saying that he was worried about him. Glancing at his brothers, Nightwing realized what an awesome image they made. Red Hood standing there with his guns. Next to him, Red Robin stood with his bo staff. Nightwing with his escrima sticks crackling with electricity. And finally Robin, with a katana that glinted dangerously.

Red Hood broke the silence. "Want to show them what teamwork looks like?"

Robin sniffed. "Even if the team was a prime example of partnership and teamwork, we would still show more exemplary teamwork."

The Banes seemed to get over their stupor from seeing the Bat Clan arrive. As they advanced, Red Hood casually shrugged. "Brat's got a point. You guys want to decapitate some bad guys?"

Nightwing stared at Red Hood for a moment. "You mean incapacitate, right?"

Red Hood smirked feraly. "Sure. Whatever you want to believe."

Nightwing rolled his eyes. Red Hood was just kidding. Probably. He hoped. Tightening his grip on his escrima sticks, Nightwing smirked. "Let's do this."

Despite the fact that they were losing previously, the Bat Clan took the Banes out easily. Maybe it was because they were aiming for the tubes that pumped the venom, or maybe it was because they worked together so flawlessly. Nightwing no longer had to watch his back, well aware that at least one of his brothers were watching it. Just like he was watching theirs. Although he could have done without one of Red Hood's bullets flying a centimeter away from his face to hit the Bane behind him.

Finally, the Battle ended. Nightwing used Robin's cape to wipe the Venom off of his face, much to the boy's displeasure. Chatting with his brothers, Nightwing tried to ignore the presence of the team lurking behind them. These days, he felt so out of place working with them, that he was considering quitting for good. The Justice League kept asking him to join, but for now, he was quite happy being a part of the Bat Clan. They were definitely the best team. In existence. Period. No discussion needed.

Apparently, being ignored didn't sit well with Wally, because he zoomed in front of Nightwing and shoved him back slightly. You'd think that he'd be grateful that Nightwing had not only managed to locate him in the speedforce, but pull him out.

Wally discovered what a poor choice he had made when Red Robin used his staff to sweep Wally's feet out from under him and Robin placed his katana at the man's neck. Then there was Red Hood, who was casually aiming a gun at him.

Nightwing being the peacekeeper, and also the only one besides Red Robin without serious anger issues, held up his hands and tried to placate his brothers. "Hey now. We said no decapitation, remember?" Seeing that his brothers had no response for that, Nightwing tried to make a joke. "If we decapitate Wally, his Uncle is going to be a pain in the butt. And you know he'll start nagging Batman. 'Batman! Why did your homicidal children behead my nephew! Batman! How could you let them out in public? They clearly have issues! Batman! I demand you listen to me!' And you know what will happen then? Batman will be angry and all the villains in Gotham will end up in the hospital again. And then the Commissioner will start asking questions. And at that point Batman would be so frustrated that he'd punch Superman in the face with his kryptonite knuckle rings."

His brothers straightened slightly in contemplation. Finally Red Robin said, "Nightwing?"

Nightwing gave him a hopeful smile. "Yes Red Robin?"

"That's not funny. That is the most likely scenario of what would happen if we were to hurt Wally."

Nightwing shrugged. So sue him. He wasn't very funny in times of high stress. Actually, that's when he gave his best one liners. He wasn't very funny when he was trying to prevent his brothers from committing murder. Although it was very touching that they were that overprotective of him.

Realizing that he still hadn't responded, Dick shrugged off Red Robin's complaint. He could live with not being funny. Offering Wally a hand, Nightwing pretended that it didn't sting when his former best friend ignored it and got up on his own. Taking a deep breathe, Nightwing turned around and offered everyone a smile. "Nice work everyone, but we should really be heading back to Gotham now. The boys were in the middle of a major bust, and I'm sure they could use my help. With Batman being on a League mission and all that."

Nightwing started to usher his brothers away, even though they were exchanging looks that clearly asked what bust their eldest brother was speaking of. Nightwing had just about made it to the spot where a rope would drop down from the plane, when the team got their bearings and rushed after them.

Cursing slightly under his breath, Nightwing waited. It they wanted answers, they were going to have to ask the questions. He would not willingly provide the answers. Even if M'gann tried to go through his mind.

Conner spoke first. Jerking his head at the boys, he said, "Who are they? And why are they here?"

Nightwing shrugged. "They're heroes. And I asked them to come."

Conner narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Why are they heroes or why did they come?"

Nightwing could see that Conner was tempted to punch him in the face. He would be tempted too if the roles were reversed. Conner took a deep breath and ground out, "Both."

Looking at each of his brothers, he was amazed by the similarities and differences in their posture. All of them were beyond comfortable and confident in their bodies, but Robin had an air of arrogance, Red Robin projected a kind of cunningness, and Red Hood had this overwhelming feeling of strength. Nightwing wondered if he too, projected something. He doubted it. They were far greater than he ever was and ever would be.

Shaking his head, Nightwing tried to remember the questions. "As for why they are heroes, that's kind of personal, don't you think? And they came because I called."

M'gann looked puzzled. "Why would they want to? Don't they know that you lied to us all?"

Nightwing was about to answer, but Robin cut him off. "Nightwing did what was needed to complete the mission. Don't let your petty emotions get in the way. As for who we are, we are his brothers. How you don't know this is beyond me. You already know the idiot Red Robin."

Nightwing couldn't help it. He scooped Robin up in his arms and gave him a hug. "I knew you thought of us as brothers! I'm so glad you finally admitted it."

Robin squirmed. "I do not! I admitted that I think of you as a brother Nightwing, but I would never lower myself by considering Red Hood and Red Robin members of our family!"

Red Hood placed a hand on Robin's head. "Love you too, Brat." Turning to face the team, he said, "Any more questions?"

Kaldur took a small step forward. "I wish to inquire what your hero names are."

Red Robin frowned. "I'm wearing a different costume. I'm not a different person."

Red Hood patted him on the head with mock comfort. "There there. Bats didn't recognize me after I put on this costume. And if the World's Greatest Detective can't recognize a costume change, why would these punks?"

Red Robin frowned. "But you were dead. If you were alive and started wearing the costume B would have recognized you."

Nightwing watched in amusement as his brothers started to argue over whether or not Batman would have recognized Jason if he weren't previously thought dead. Realizing they had an audience. Nightwing gave an awkward cough. "Right. This is Red Hood, Red Robin (aka Robin to you guys), and Robin."

Nightwing wished they would just leave already. But apparently, his brothers were enjoying themselves and wanted to stay. Why they took pleasure in his pain, he would never know.

Red Hood bounced on the balls of his feet and threw a few punches into the air. "Ask another question. I'm all for making Dickhead uncomfortable."

Nightwing sighed. This was becoming a thing. Why couldn't he have brothers that loved him and valued his mental health?

Wally narrowed his eyes at him. Nightwing felt another stab to the heart, but remained stoic. Only his brothers could tell how he felt. And he wanted to keep it that way. Wally raised an eyebrow at the boys. "So why exactly did he call you? We could have handled it. Especially if he had told us that cutting the tubes would make the men normal again."

Robin growled and stepped forward. Nightwing blinked in surprise as all friendliness washed off of his brothers faces. Apparently they were still overprotective, even when they wanted to make him miserable. Good to know.

"While my brother may be a self-sacrificing idiot, he would never endanger the lives of you imbeciles. Even though you all mock and ridicule him. Transcripts of the battle illustrate that Nightwing clearly informed you of their weakness, but nobody listened. Even the harlots ignored him, which is quite strange because Nightwing is usually flocked by whores."

Face bright red, Nightwing tried to shush Robin. He did not need this in his life. At all. Robin of course was not having it. "Stop it Nightwing. I was merely stating that you never have a problem finding a bed mate. You and father both."

Nightwing was not sure what he had done to deserve this. He was a good son and brother. He was kind to people, even when they didn't deserve it. He donated money to charity. Sure he committed aggravated assault every night, but it was for the greater good, right?

Red Hood's laughter slowly died down. "What the kid meant to say was that when you failed to listen to Nightwing, who had critical information that you didn't have, because of some petty grudge, you put all your lives in danger. He called us because we actually act like a team and watch each other's backs. That and he didn't want to die or any of you to die."

Wally sniffed indignantly. "Look Red Riding Hood, you have no idea what he did to us. He played us, kept all of us in the dark while he manipulated our strings like a puppet master. You have no idea what that's like. And if you did, you wouldn't talk to us like that."

Red Hood lunged at Wally. It took Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin to hold him back and prevent him from killing the other hero. "I don't know what it's like!? Shut the fuck up! You don't know me! Joker manipulated me! Made me become the very thing that had killed me! The League of Shadows manipulated me! Made me destroy the very things I swore to protect! And if you really want to talk about manipulation, try living with the the fucking Batman! His whole deal is manipulation! Ask the League how many times Batman has manipulated them all into a situation of his choosing! It happens to you once and you can't move past it? Grow the fuck up! It's going to happen to you over and over and over again so long as there is a Bat Clan!"

Red Hood stood there panting, and the three other heroes hesitantly let him go. When he made no move to try and kill Wally, they moved a step away. Red Robin tore his eyes away first and turned to face the team again. "You want to know what I think? I think you're all upset because you couldn't tell. You couldn't see the difference between the truths and lies. You couldn't see the difference between the real emotions and the fake ones. M'gann should've known due to her telepathy. Conner should have known because he can literally hear the difference between the truths and the lies. Even with all your powers, a mere mortal one upped you. It pissed you off to be blunt. Get over yourselves. One upping people is kind of our thing."

Kaldur tipped his head to the side slightly. "Could you tell?"

Red Robin shrugged. "I could tell when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. I could tell that he was scheming. I could tell a lot of things, Nightwing's an open book to me and my family whether he likes it or not. But I didn't know the actual plan if that's what you were asking. He kept me in the dark. I figured he'd tell me if he needed help."

Red Hood adjusted his leather jacket. "He told me. I helped him plan. If anything were to happen to him, I'd be his failsafe to make sure that the plan succeeded. Normally, Batman would take that role, but seeing that he was on another planet, I was the lucky one."

Seeing the looks being sent his way, Nightwing put his hands in the air. "Telling someone outside the team gave the best probability of all of us surviving. I'd like to think that that was the best decision."

There was no response. Nightwing nudged each of his brothers and looked up. Bullet proof grappling line appeared. Once they were fully extended, a small metal disk appeared on the bottom, clearly designed for them to stand on. Much to Robin's displeasure, Nightwing lifted him carefully onto a line before casually jumping onto the one next to it.

Giving a nod to the team, Nightwing said, "Call us if you would like us to participate in the next mission. I hope we cleared the air slightly. If not, and you really can't forgive and forget, let me know. I'd much rather quit the team than continue with the open hostility. Because it might not have today, but it will get someone killed. And I for one have no interest in dying."

Pushing a small button on his belt, the lines started to retract. The last thing the team heard was, "Red Hood, I'm flying us home because I do not need to deal with B complaining that we got another air traffic violation."

The team exchanged startled glances with each other. Finally M'gann said, "Have we really been that unfair to Nightwing? I do believe his brothers were right. And he was right about the hostility. Either we let him go or forgive him."

Nobody said anything after that. They all stared up at the sky where the Batwing had long since disappeared.

###

"You drive like my Grandma."

Dick tried to prevent himself from grinding his teeth as Jason plopped down in the copilot seat in the cockpit of the Batwing.

Deciding that strangling his brother would cause more problems than it would solve, Dick said, "You didn't know your Grandmother Jaybird. How would you know what she drives like? For all you know she was a speed demon."

Jason spluttered for a moment, which caused his two remaining brothers to lean closer in anticipation. They needn't worry. Dick was not planning on starting something. "Why'd you guys try and make me uncomfortable back there?" Okay, so maybe he was starting something.

Jason snorted. "You put toothpaste in my oreos."

Tim began to fiddle with his computer. "You replaced all my coffee with decaf."

"You replaced all of my pajamas with Nightwing onesies!"

Dick couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. "Oh yeah. I guess I really deserved it. Had to live up to my name and all that."

"What does the name 'Grayson' have to do with subjected people to childish pranks?"

Dick started to laugh again. He couldn't help it. His brother was too cute. Tim shook his head smiling. "He meant 'Dick' Damian. As in, he was acting like a dick."

Damian's cheeks turned pink. "I knew that! I was just testing you Drake!"

Dick smiled to himself as his three brothers started to squabble again. He didn't know whether or not he was still apart of Young Justice, and he wasn't even sure whether or not he wanted to be, but he was sure of one thing. No matter what happened, he was already a part of a team. A team of brothers and their father. A family. His family. And he was going to be okay, no matter what the future held.

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 **A/N: I really don't know where this story came from. I can say that I'm pretty sure I came up with it when I was high on a Benadryl cocktail the doctor gave me. Anyways please please please review!**

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 **IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!**

 **I am going to visit family in Austria and will not be bringing my laptop, which means that there will be no updates for a while. I will be back in about two weeks, so please be patient. I will have access to my email, so please keep sending in those lovely reviews.**

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 **QUESTION: Who had your favorite Robin costume?**

 **MY ANSWER: Uhh...So hard. If I had to chose, it would probably be Damian. He still has the bright colors, but they are toned down slightly by his cape. And I really like the hood. Though Dick Grayson in Young Justice is a close second, if not a tie.**


	46. Mall Disasters

**Mall Disasters**

Dick sighed dramatically as he followed Alfred around the manor. He was beyond bored. Maybe Alfred would entertain him if he ever stopped cleaning. Why couldn't Bruce take him with him to Japan? It wasn't like he had to pretend to be Batman while he was gone, Jason was more than capable of doing so.

Sighing once more, he watched as Alfred placed down the feather duster he was carrying and turning to face him with a stony look on his usually stoic face. Oops. Maybe the sighing had been a little dramatic.

"Master Richard. I need you to go to the mall with your brothers and buy a 'welcome home' gift for Master Bruce."

Dick scrunched up his eyebrows. "Why? We never have before."

"It will be a new tradition then. Chop chop. And do take your time."

Dick shrugged and grabbed his wallet and phone before charging up the stairs in search of his brothers.

Alfred sighed in relief. That boy was a nuisance when he was bored. Maybe now he would be able to finish his cleaning.

###

Dick bounced around on the balls of his feet. He was once again bored. He had bought Bruce a shirt that had a picture of Catwoman on it and said _CATWOMAN CAN STEAL MY HEART ANY TIME._

Damian didn't appreciate the joke, but hopefully Bruce would. Now, the only problem was continuing to stay out of the manor. Something told Dick that Alfred would not appreciate them coming back yet.

Dick turned to Jason expectantly. If anyone could entertain him, it was definitely Jason. Maybe they could do something illegal. Alfred probably wouldn't appreciate bailing them out of jail though. And Bruce certainly wouldn't appreciate it if they made the news in Japan.

"What do you want Dickhead? You're staring is getting creepy. And I don't do creepy."

"Jaybird. You are the mischievous and entertaining brother. Solve my boredom!"

Tim coughed awkwardly. "Dick, I think you're describing yourself there. Not Jason."

Jason grinned and looped one arm around Dick's shoulder and the other around Tim's. Judging by the look Damian was sending them, he was right not to try and touch the boy. "Now Timmy. I'm pretty sure I can come up with something mildly entertaining to solve our dear brother's boredom."

Tim sighed resignedly as he was tugged after his brothers. This was going to end badly. He just knew it.

###

Jason grinned as he snuck through the door marked **EMPLOYEES ONLY** with his brothers. Climbing onto the maze of catwalks that ran across the roof of the mall, Jason placed down his backpack of supplies.

Glancing at his brothers, he noticed that they were doing the same thing. Carefully, Jason opened the backpack and pulled out a water balloon. Turning to his brothers he said, "Now the whole point is to hit as many people as possible before security comes. From there, we run like hell and change clothes in one of the shops. Then we move onto phase two. Any questions?"

Seeing that nobody spoke up, Jason nodded. "Then let the games begin."

###

Turns out that you can hit a lot of people with water balloons before security figures out that you're on the catwalks. And most of the people that they hit were security guards trying to figure out where the assault was coming from.

Once they did, it took only three minutes for the guards to swarm the catwalks. But by then, the brothers were long gone.

Dick strolled through the mall in his new jeans, tank top, baseball hat, and sunglasses. With his backpack slung casually over his shoulder, he looked the epitome of calm and relaxed as he strolled past the hoards of security guards.

Walking up to the fountain, the assigned meeting place, he took out his phone and looked like every other twentyish year old in the mall. Seeing his brothers approaching, each from different directions, Dick pocketed his phone and waved them over. "So. What's next?"

###

Dick looked around nervously. So far they had thrown water balloons, gone swimming in the fountain, slow danced with mannequins in the tuxedo store, organized a game of chaos tag in a jewelry store, thrown skittles at people while yelling 'taste the rainbow', and driven go-karts around the mall. Now it was time for their grand finale according to Jason. Personally, he thought spray-painting a giant bat symbol on the outside of the mall was a but overkill, but he was new to the whole delinquency as a form of entertainment thing. And Jason assured him that it was a great idea.

Apparently, trusting Jason wasn't such a good thing because when the police arrived, they literally were caught red-handed. Or black-handed technically considering the copious amounts of black spray-paint covering their hands. Which is how they ended up at the county jail with Commissioner Gordon staring at them in disappointment.

"Dick, what were you thinking? And taking your brothers with you?"

Tim crossed his arms. "I told you that it was a bad idea, but nobody ever listens to me. There's a reason that I'm considered the smart one."

Dick ignored Tim. There was no reason for him to act like such a smart ass. They were still in jail whether Tim had warned them or not.

Jason spoke up next. "Hey! Those were my ideas! Don't give Dickhead the credit!I worked really hard to come up with the perfect pranks."

Dick watched as the Commissioner fought the urge to facepalm. They tended to bring that reaction out of people a lot if Bruce was anyone to judge by.

The Commissioner shook his head resignedly. "I called your father. He said something about Japan and being here as soon as he can."

Damian scoffed. "Idiot. He's in Japan right now. Releasing us into the custody of our butler should be sufficient."

"Sorry boys. I can only release you into your father's custody, which means that you guys are going to be stuck here for a while."

Dick watched as Commissioner Gordon walked away. Finally, the man's words seemed to fully seep in. "Wait. He said that he called Bruce?"

"Where were you Golden Boy? That only sinking in now?"

"But Japan has a different time zone."

"Imbecile. That much is obvious Grayson. Get to the point to your rambling."

Dick blinked owlishly. "That means Commissioner Gordon woke Bruce up from whatever good dream he was having to tell him that we've been arrested and that he has to come back to Gotham so that we can be released from jail."

Jason ran a hand through his hair. "We are totally fucked."

###

Dick tittered nervously as he signed out his possessions from the nice officer as he waited for Bruce to make his appearance. Clutching the shopping bag that contained Bruce's present tightly, Dick shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Around him, his brothers were also shifting uncomfortably as they waited for their undeniable doom.

As Bruce walked in and surveyed the room with a frosty glare, Dick's heart began to sputter. Afraid that his father was going to cause heart failure, Dick thrust the shopping bag into Bruce's unsuspecting arms and blurted out, "We got you a present! That's why we were at the mall. Before the whole being arrested thing that is."

Bruce's eyes narrowed dangerously as he slowly opened the bag and pulled out the shirt. Unfolding it, his eyes scanned the image. Dick swore that Bruce's lips twitched for a nanosecond, before they returned to a severe frown. "And how exactly does one get arrested for vandalism, not to mention being suspected of causing the mayhem at the mall, by buying a t-shirt?"

Dick picked at his nails before looking up with his best puppy eyes and 'please forgive me' pout. "Well you see, it all started with me being bored."

Needless to say, they were all grounded until further notice, despite all their protests and attempts of blackmail and bribery.

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 **A/N: Thank you GUEST for the wonderful idea. I'm officially back! My trip was wonderful, so thank you everyone who wished me bon voyage. Anyways, I did not have reliable wifi while on the trip so seeing your reviews really was wonderful.**

 **Random note...I am officially obsessed with the TV show BONES. Are there any shows you guys are obsessed with?**

 **Really hope you guys liked this chapter, and I really love how many people have Favorited this story. I never thought that so many people would like it.**


	47. The Dating Disaster

**The Dating Disaster**

Dick stared at Bruce blankly. "Let me get this straight. You want me to date the daughter of a potential client, so that you can get a good deal?"

Bruce winced, and if Dick wasn't feeling so incredulous, he might have felt some sympathy for him. "I would word it differently."

Dick ran a hand through his hair and then ran it down his face. "No matter how you word it, the fact of the matter is still the same! You're pimping me out!"

Dick regretted the fact that he had been shouting as soon as the door behind him opened and all three of his brothers came tumbling in. Jason recovered first. "Wait. If you're pimping out Dick, does that mean I'm next? Because I don't think I would mind. I might protest out of principle, but it sounds pretty good to me."

Tim looked green. "Bruce, I'd prefer if I wasn't involved with this. It doesn't feel right."

Damian rolled his eyes. "Quit complaining Drake. We must uphold the prestige of the Wayne name, and if that means that occasionally we are required to have intercourse with people not of our choosing, so be it."

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not how he pictured this conversation going. And by the sound of it, he was going to have to have another talk with Damian about sex. The boy just didn't seem to understand that it wasn't a weapon or something to be so blasé about. Granted, the way the he, Dick, and even Jason went through women was probably not helping. "Nobody is pimping out anyone. Dick, you're blowing this way out of proportion. Just take her on a few dates or something. Show her around. Maybe go clubbing. Be your usual charming self. No one said anything about sex. That was all you."

Dick rubbed a hand down his face. "No sex? I can handle that. Totally doable."

Even to his own ears, Dick sounded like he was trying to convince himself and not his family. Jason seemed to have no qualms with that, instead choosing to roll his eyes with a put out sigh. "Here I was hoping that something interesting was finally happening in this family."

Tim turned a shocked look at Jason. "You don't call dressing up every night to patrol the streets as the masked vigilantes of Gotham interesting?"

"No. That's just business as usual."

Dick briefly locked gazes with Bruce. As his brothers started an all out debate on the merits of being a vigilante, he couldn't help but wonder what it was like living with a normal family. A whole lot less entertaining for sure. He would be bored out of his mind. So while living with this crazy family may end up with weird predicaments such as assuming your father wants to pimp you out, he would never exchange it for anything. Now he just had to figure out how long he was expected to date this girl and how he could let her down gently when it was all over. Maybe he could make her think it was her idea? Whatever. He still had time to figure it all out.

###

Dick pulled at the cuff of his suit nervously. They were at Wayne Corp awaiting the arrival of his new 'girlfriend'. Dick really hoped that she wouldn't be too annoying, but the anticipation was killing him, and not in a good way. He decided that he did not like this one bit.

Giving one last desperate look to Bruce, Dick closed his eyes and steeled himself for his fate. Hearing the door to the conference room open, Dick barely managed to brace himself before he was tackled by one hundred twenty pounds of excitement.

Bewildered, Dick looked down and observed the girl currently trying to rupture all of his internal organs. She was maybe sixteen. Bruce seemed to be just as bewildered as he was. Dick cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh. How old are you?"

The girl glanced up at him, not loosening her grip. Dick winced slightly as her pointed chin dug into his collarbone. "I'm sixteen, which as you know, is the age of consent."

Dick looked up at the ceiling blushing as the girl's hands started to wander lower. Pulling himself away, he readjusted his suit jacket, trying to appear unruffled. "Actually it is considered statutory rape if a person who is under seventeen has sex with someone over twenty-one. Even if the age of consent is sixteen."

The girl's eyes widened. "O.M.G! My new boyfriend is so smart! Oh I can't wait to be seventeen now! But in the meantime, we can go on lots of dates! And you can meet all of my friends! We'll be so in love by the time I'm seventeen! Oh! We should talk about children! I always wanted two, but you have three brothers, and probably want more. I'd definitely be open to having as many as you want!"

Dick stared at her. Was she for real? "Um. Let's start with each other's names."

"O.M.G! How rude of me! My name is Jacqueline, but you can call me whatever you want."

"Okay Jackie. My name's Dick, but you already knew that didn't you?"

Jackie squealed. Dick was awed that his ears still worked after listening to such a high frequency noise. This must be how Superman felt every time he heard a dog whistle. "O.M.G. We are so perfect for each other! I'm so in love! Aren't you in love? No! Don't say it yet! We should confess our love for each other over a romantic candle light dinner!"

Dick mentally noted to cancel the reservations he had made for that night. Bowling sounded a lot safer, there was no chance of romance over greasy food and the smell of foot sweat. Though with this girl, it was entirely possible that she'd think he was proposing.

Jackie must have decided that they were done at Wayne Corp, because she started to drag him away. Dick sent his father a desperate look over his shoulder, but for the first time ever, Bruce Wayne was at a loss for words. Dick's glare darkened. There would be retribution for this, it was only a matter of time.

###

Dick stumbled through the door to the manor with Jackie still firmly attached to the arm. It was like trying to get rid of mold. Seemingly impossible. He had even tried to find a few minutes of reprieve in the men's restroom, only to find her sitting by the sink and innocently swinging her legs. So when she had asked to go to the manor, he hadn't had the energy to deny her request. There was also the fact that he was hoping that his brothers could work a miracle and get rid of her. He wouldn't even scold Jason if he shot her and hid the body. If anything he would thank his brother.

Ignoring Jackie's attempt of trying to seduce him to the bedroom, Dick brought her to the den where his brothers were for once getting along. He debated whether or not it made him a bad brother for wishing that they were trying to kill each other in hopes that it would scare off Jackie.

Deciding that it was not the time for such internal debates, Dick cleared his throat, simultaneously trying to push Jackie off of his arm so that he could regain some feeling in his fingers. "Guys, this is Jackie."

As his brothers observed him, Dick tapped out SAVE ME in morse code on his leg. Damian either got the message or decided that he no longer wanted to behave, because he turned away from Jackie dismissively. "No need for me to meet another one of your harlots Grayson. Though you could do better, the previous ones all had better bone structure."

Jason smirked dangerously and cocked his head to the side. "So. How long are you going to 'date' this one before you move on. I started a bet pool, said it would last two weeks max before you got bored."

Tim just stared at Jackie for a moment before he shrugged indifferently and continued to read his book.

Dick glanced at Jackie from the corner of his eye, she was gaping like a fish and was for the moment, blessedly silent. Until she screeched. "Dickie-boo! How could you let them talk to me like that? While we have yet to confess our love for each other out loud, anyone can see it! The tension is palpable!"

Jason, of course, continued to egg her on. "Dickie-boo? Seriously? Call him babe or baby. He once dated a german model who called him 'Schatz' which means treasure. That is by far less emasculating than Dickie-boo."

Jackie once again screeched before demanding that Dick take her home. Ushering her out, Dick sent a grateful look to his brothers. At least they got rid of her for the day, now he just had to listen to her rant while he drove her home.

###

Dick once again shuffled inside the manor, this time sans Jackie. Thankfully. Bruce walked over and immediately handed him a glass of scotch. Dick took the glass before narrowing his eyes dangerously at his father. When Bruce opened his mouth to say something, most likely in his defense, Dick raised a hand. "I really don't want to hear it. It's going to take months of groveling to make up for today. And we have plans for tomorrow. So whatever business thing your doing, you better do it quick before she asks me to propose. Again."

Dick downed the rest of the alcohol before shoving the glass into his father's hands and hurling himself up the stairs. Bruce blinked before heading into the den to check on his other sons. There was nothing he could do until Dick calmed down. Hopefully he was exaggerating about how long it would take to forgive him.

The den was silent when Bruce entered, which made Bruce instantly on alert. His sons were never quiet. Not even when they were asleep. To his relief, Tim's head popped out from the back of the couch, like a meerkat surveying the prairie. Whispering urgently, he asked, "Is she gone?"

"Who?"

Jason's head popped up next to Tim's. "Wacky Jackie! The insane lady you set Dick up with. If this is who you set us up with, never mind, I don't want you to pimp me out!"

Bruce blinked. "You met her?"

Damian's eyes popped up next. Whispering harshly he said, "Answer the question father! This is a matter of the utmost urgency!"

"Dick came in alone, so I assume so. Although he doesn't seem very pleased."

Sighing, all three boys ventured out from behind the couch. Jason flopped himself down on said couch and covered his eyes with his arm. Bruce took note that Damian had once again given Jason a full sleeve tattoo with sharpies. "That girl be crazy. Crazier than Joker. There's something fundamentally wrong with her."

Bruce winced. That did not sound good. "How long do you think I'll need to grovel to get Dick to forgive me?"

Tim brushed by him to grab a thick book off of the ground. Straightening, Tim moved to leave the den. As he past he airily said, "I wouldn't plan on stopping anytime soon. And I would straighten any business deal fast so that Dick can get dump her before he needs to commit himself."

The other two nodded their head in agreement, which was how Bruce knew how serious they were. Jason, Tim, and Damian never agreed on anything out of principle. If they were in agreement, then the situation was dire.

Steeling himself, Bruce threw back his shoulders and marched to his office. He had some phone calls to make.

###

A week. A whole week. That's how long Dick had been 'dating' Jackie. A week. And everyone knew something was different about him. He was no longer the first one up in the morning, he was more violent when apprehending criminals, he no longer had his ever-lasting patience, and he was losing weight.

Dick stared at the ceiling from his position sprawled in bed. Not even work was safe. Jackie showed up everyday to bring him his lunch and then waited for him to leave for the day. Dick debated calling in sick, but knowing Jackie, she would come to the manor to 'take care of him'. Dick wondered if Alfred would be willing to answer the door in a hazmat suit and say that he had caught a highly contagious virus and was quarantined. He doubted it. The hazmat suit would ruin Alfred's pristine suit.

Dick sighed. Any moment now, Bruce would slink in and tell him that he had to get up and then awkwardly attempt to apologize. Dick would get up, but brush off Bruce's apology in favor of jumping in the shower.

Closing his eyes, he counted down. Three. Two. One. Right on cue, the door opened and Bruce shuffled into his room. The man awkwardly stood by the headboard, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Realizing that Bruce would never start the conversation, Dick rolled his eyes. "What do you want Boss?"

Bruce's jaw ticked at the nickname, but he didn't comment. "I wanted to tell you that I got the deal sorted. There is no reason for you to continue dating Wacky Jackie."

A slow smile started to spread across Dick's face, and for the first time since Bruce asked him to date the girl, Dick gave Bruce one of his infamous hugs. "Why didn't you say so? This is great news! I gotta shower!"

Dick ran into the attached private bathroom. A few seconds later, his head poked back out of the bathroom. "And Bruce?"

"Yeah Chum?"

"I think from now on we let me handle the negotiations."

Bruce fought the urge to smile. "Deal Chum."

"Oh. And just because I hugged you does not mean that you're off the hook. I expect a lot of groveling. Got it?"

The smile fell of his face and Bruce answered him sulkily, "I know. Take your shower."

The last thing he heard before he left the room was Dick's joyous laugh. It was a good sound to hear after a whole week of its absence.

###

"I don't understand! What are you trying to say? It sounds like you're trying to break up with me, but I know that's not true because we're engaged to be engaged!"

Dick rubbed his temples trying to remember why he was so excited to break up with Jackie. Figures that it would be a greater to pain to break up with her than to spend the day with her. Granted, breaking up did come with the plus side of never seeing her again.

"Look Jackie. It's not working. While I'd like to say something stereotypical like 'It's not you, it's me', it's not me, it's you. You're driving me insane! I'm not as patient as usual, I'm losing weight, and I'm sleeping too much. Frankly, the idea of seeing you gives me a headache."

Jackie gnawed on her lower lip. "Dickie, Baby, think back to how happy we were. When we talked of marriage, and children. Not to mention how much your brothers adore me!"

Dick ran a hand through his hair. What was with this girl and her perception of reality? "We, never talked about that stuff. You did. It freaked me out. And for the record, my brothers do not adore you. They call you 'Wacky Jackie', and they are more than a little freaked out by you."

"What about Bruce? He must like me! He set us up!"

Dick groaned slightly. How was he supposed to explain this one without ruining Wayne Corp's relationship with her father? "Look. I had a really bad break up a little while ago. Bruce has been setting me up on blind dates."

Jackie's face smoothed over and a calculating look took over. Dick prayed that that was a good thing. "Oh. I see."

"You do?"

"Yes. Obviously, you're still hung up on this girl and aren't ready to move on with me. Don't worry Baby, in a few months, she will be firmly in your rearview mirror and we can get on with our lives."

Well. That wasn't exactly what he meant, but he would definitely take it. "You're right. I just didn't want to tell you that I was thinking of another woman."

"You're so darling, Baby. Hurry and get over her so that we can continue with our life. Remember that I will not be around waiting forever."

God, Dick hoped so. The sooner she moved on the better. "I think it would be best if I didn't see or hear from you until I'm ready. I need to be alone with my thoughts."

Jackie nodded. A few tears escaped her eyes, but she did not bother to wipe them away. "Goodbye for now, my love. Until we meet again. You will constantly be on my mind."

Dick nodded, unable to communicate in fear that he would burst out laughing. The girl was insane. But hopefully she would be in love with the next unfortunate soul by the next week.

###

Turned out Dick was correct. Wacky Jackie was in love with someone else one week later. Unfortunately for everyone that someone was Tim. And poor Timmy-wimmy had no clue what to do with the bundle of crazy that was firmly attached to his side like a siamese twin. Dick couldn't help but sympathize, especially when Tim tried to explain that they were not dating and Jackie told him, "Of course not silly. We are so much more than boyfriend and girlfriend, we're engaged!"

As Bruce watched helplessly, Dick saddled up next to him. "See what happens when you negotiate without me. You brought a real crazy into our lives."

Jason plunked down next to them. "I rather be beaten by Joker and another crowbar than spend another minute listening to her. And that's saying something."

Damian frowned as he approached. "Father. If you do not get rid of her soon, I am afraid that I must leave and rejoin the League of Shadows."

At that very moment, Tim looked over and mouthed, _HELP ME PLEASE!_

Dick was about to reluctantly get up, but Bruce beat him to it. "I'm sorry Jackie, but you are no longer welcome in this house as you are making everyone uncomfortable, especially Tim."

Jackie gaped for a second before she swung her head to look at Tim. Tim nodded awkwardly at her questioning gaze. Jackie humphed indignantly and marched to the door. "Fine. Tim call me when you realize that our love means more to you than the approval of your family."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Like that will ever happen."

###

One week later the newspaper had an article announcing the engagement of Jackie Winchester and one of the many divorced societal men. The whole Wayne family let out a sigh of relief that Jackie was no longer their problem, until Alfred pointed out that she would now be attending all the society parties. To which all five of them simultaneously groaned. They would never be rid of her.

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 **A/N: I hoped you liked it! Thanks** Ashuri **for the prompt idea, I'm glad I finally got around to it.**

 **Question: What's your favorite Batman fanfic?**

 **My Answer: Firework by _Pagunpunk2._ I also really like The Family by _OnceUponASunsetDream_ though that is a Batman and Young Justice crossover fic. Oh. And fics by _Pupeez4eva._ I guess those are a few off the top of my head, but there are so many other great fics. I'm always surprised to learn that the people who write some of these fics are not professional authors and just write as a stress relief. **

**Anyways let me know what you think and what you want to see next!**


	48. Forgive and Forget

**Forgive and Forget**

Dick glanced behind him suspiciously. Bruce had a habit of popping up in the weirdest places at the strangest times, and all he wanted was to get away from his mentor for a while. The man was driving him insane with his constant apologies and attempts to make up with him for the whole 'Wacky Jackie' debaticle.

Dick had told him that his apologies were not necessary and that he had long since forgiven the man, but Bruce did not seem to believe him. Which led to the reason that Dick was avoiding him. He could not take anymore apologies or awkward attempts at discussing their feelings.

There was only so much groveling a man could take. Especially when it came to Bruce. He tended to apologize with lavish gifts. Dick did not need another car, a new xbox, a new watch, or a new Armani suit. Though he did appreciate the huge stash of candy and cereal that Bruce had bought him.

The point being that Dick was tired of Bruce following him around like a lost puppy and trying to buy his love back. Even though the man had never actually lost Dick's love, or his respect. If anything, Dick was slightly disappointed in the man, but that wasn't exactly a new feeling. He had been over it within a day, and ready to move on with his life. Now if only Bruce would let him.

###

Dick's eyebrow twitched. Jason smirked from his position across from him. "Is it that time already? Who knew that Bruce could drive you that insane Golden Boy."

Dick scowled at both the implication and the nickname. "His groveling is driving me crazy! I've told him a hundred times already that I forgive him!"

Jason leaned back in his chair. "Oh have you? I could've sworn you hadn't. I suppose that telling Bruce how mad you are at him was not helpful then. Not to mention the added pressure of both Tim and Damian sending him dirty looks and telling him to hurry up and make it up to you."

Dick narrowed his eyes. He could see a shadow under the door, indicating that Bruce was once again, lurking outside the door. "Now why would you do that?"

Jason shrugged unapologetically. "You weren't the only one who suffered when Bruce brought Wacky Jackie into our lives. I just wanted to make the man squirm, let him know how it feels."

"You know that Bruce does not understand that, right? That's too emotionally complex for him to comprehend."

"Which is why it's perfect. Nobody could possibly comprehend Jackie either."

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose. Jason was going to be the death of him. Him and his 'sound' logic. He needed a vacation. Or maybe an off world mission without his brothers and Bruce. That would be nice too. Maybe Clark or Hal would take him to a feuding planet. That sounded a lot more fun than dealing with his insane family. Deadlier, but more fun.

Returning his attention to Jason, Dick took several calming breathes. Deciding that that wasn't working well enough, Dick stood up and looked out the floor length windows that covered the length of the far wall of his office. "Just go Jason. And no more interfering in my relationships. Oh, and tell Bruce he better have Chinese food. I'm hungry."

Dick was still looking out the window when he heard someone shuffling in. Turning around, Dick offered Bruce a bright smile before hurriedly cleaning the paperwork off of his desk and gesturing for Bruce to sit down.

The man did so awkwardly, lacking his usual grace and confidence. Dick wondered what purpose his brothers thought they could achieve by making the man so uncomfortable and so obviously out of his depth. Too bad that they were unlikely to answer him if asked, and it was not like Dick could force them to answer.

"Uh, Dick? I just wanted to apologize again for the whole Jackie debatical. I wasn't thinking of the consequences of my actions, and I shouldn't have so readily volunteered you."

Seeing that Bruce paused, in all likelihood to take a breath before continuing his apology, Dick held up a hand to stop him. "Look Bruce. Dad. I think we're on two separate pages here. You're under the impression that I have yet to forgive you, which is probably the fault of Tim, Jason, and Damian, but I forgave you a long time ago. At this point, your constant apologies are starting to annoy me."

Dick dug into his Chinese food while Bruce processed his words. He was trying to sneak a second bite of Bruce's Szechuan Chicken, when the man slapped the offending chopsticks out of his dish. Dick pouted childishly. Why he never ordered his own was beyond him. Perhaps he thought that one day Bruce would actually willingly share.

"Oh. But you said that it would take forever for you to forgive me."

"Dad. When was the last time I was able to hold a grudge longer than a day?"

Bruce started to eat his own meal as he thought. "That one time, when you found out about me and Barbara."

Dick blinked. "You weren't actually supposed to come up with anything! And that was one time. And I didn't make you grovel that much."

Bruce chewed thoughtfully. "So we're good?"

"We're more than good, Dad."

Both men sat in compatible silence for a few minutes, enjoying their meals and each other's presence. For the first time since the whole Jackie fiesco began, there was no tension between the men. Now the only problem left was what exactly Dick should do about his shit-disturbing brothers.

Tossing Bruce a fortune cookie, Dick cracked his open. _Your problems shall be solved by using mischief._

Grinning, Dick turned to his father. "So. What are we going to do about my brothers who have taken it upon them to cause problems where there weren't any previously?"

Bruce raised a single eyebrow before showing Dick his fortune. _A friend will come with a unique proposition. Accept, you may be surprised by the results._

Dick's grin widened. "You won't regret this."

###

Jason was watching a movie with the twerps when it happened. Dick stormed into the manor like a herd of angry elephants, yelling at the top of his lungs, "I'm moving out! And you can forget about seeing me at work. I quit!"

Bruce came in moments later bellowing, "Good! I don't want such an ungrateful brat in my home anyways!"

Jason watched with wide eyes as the two men stormed in opposite directions. Dick to his room, and Bruce to his office. Alfred walked out of the kitchen and hurried to Bruce's office murmuring, "Oh dear. What could have possibly started this?"

Jason turned to his brothers. "Do you think?"

Tim blinked owlishly. "It couldn't be?"

Damian looked lost. "We couldn't have possibly started this. Right, Todd? Drake?"

"I think we need to talk to Dick and Bruce."

###

Damian knocked softly on Grayson's door. When the man jerked the door open, Damian couldn't help but take a quick step back at the anger in his eyes. Though he would deny it later if anyone were to ask. "What do you want Damian?"

"Grayson, it has come to my attention that you are once again quarreling with Father. I wish to inquire what the cause of the dispute is."

Grayson rolled his eyes and beckoned Damian to enter his room. Damian's heart paused when he noticed a half-packed suitcase on the ground. "He's driving me crazy with his constant apologies. I told him that I forgave him, and he had the gall to tell me to stop lying to him! Can you believe that! Long story short, he told me that if I couldn't be honest that I should move out. Guess he's getting his wish."

Damian toed the suitcase. "Perhaps you should wait until morning before making any decisions. Undoubtedly, you and Father will reach an amicable conclusion."

"Yeah right. Like that's going to happen."

"Grayson, I really must insist that you stay the night."

Grayson ran a hand through his already messy hair. Damian couldn't help it, he sniffed haughtily at the gesture of submission. "Fine. I'll stay one more night for you."

Damian nodded forcefully, before stiffly walking out the door. He had to talk to Drake and Todd. It was their childish joke that had caused the situation. Now they had to fix it before Grayson left. Because that would not be very amusing.

Unseen by Damian, Dick smirked and silently patted himself on the back. He was a good actor if he did say so himself. Now, Bruce just had to convince the other two.

###

Tim was about to knock on the door to Bruce's study, when Jason pushed past him and stormed in. "What the hell was that about? Why is Dick going to move out!"

Bruce looked up from where he was reading some paperwork. "I was trying to apologize just like you said, when he told me that I didn't have to! You told me that that meant that he hadn't forgiven me so I tried again. Next thing I know he's yelling at me that I don't trust him to know his own feelings."

Tim and Jason shared a guilty look. So this was sorta kinda their fault. They had taken advantage of the fact that Bruce was emotionally incompetent and used it to annoy Dick. Apparently this whole fight was a result of their 'harmless' medling.

Tim cleared his throat awkwardly. "So. Are you going to apologize or something? So Dick doesn't move out I mean."

Bruce looked back down at his paperwork. "No. How am I supposed to live with him if he won't forgive me? I think he needs to be on his own for a while."

"Well, maybe you should try to clear the air first. So that Dick leaves with you guys on good terms."

"No. I've apologized enough over the last few days. It's his turn."

Seeing that they were not going to get anywhere, Tim and Jason left the study. Damian was waiting for them in the hallway. "I assume your meeting with Father turned out as well as mine did with Grayson."

Tim closed his eyes briefly. "There's no way he's going to apologize for this fight. Is Dick really leaving?"

"His luggage was packed when I arrived. I managed to convince Grayson to wait until the morning at the very least."

Jason rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "How should we trick Dickhead into staying? Fake a medical emergency? Or maybe Demon Brat can cry when he's leaving! That would stop him for sure."

"Or, and here's a real novel idea, we could tell them the truth?" Tim suggested with a raised eyebrow and his arms crossed over his chest.

Damian heaved a great sigh. "I hate to agree with Drake, but it is certainly for the best that we reveal our involvement with their disagreement."

Jason pouted slightly. Though he would later claim that he did not pout but instead gave a very manly frown. "Fine. Although I want the record to say that I think my ideas are way better."

With that the brothers once again separated to talk to Dick and Bruce.

###

"Grayson. Open this door immediately!"

Damian continue to pound on the door until Dick threw open the door. Damian blushed slightly when he realized that Grayson must have been in the shower as he was wet and had a towel loosely tied around his waist.

"Yes Damian? What could possibly be so urgent?"

Damian lifted his chin before declaring, "Grayson. You must get over this silly tiff with Father. The fault lies with me, Drake, and Todd. We made Father believe that you were still angry at him for the disastrous event including that harlot Jackie. Now that you know, you may continue to live here and live symbiotically with Father."

Dick's face remained carefully blank. "Be that as it may, Bruce still didn't trust my judgment. He didn't trust me. That is unforgivable. I appreciate the attempt Damian, but I'm still moving out tomorrow."

Damian barely noticed that Grayson had somehow managed to usher him out of his room. When the door clicked softly behind him, Damian uncharacteristically hoped that Todd and Drake were more successful than he was.

###

Once again, Jason burst into Bruce's study without knocking. "Bruce. Your fight with Dick was our fault. Not mine of course, but the Replacement and the Demon Brat's!"

Tim rolled his eyes. "It was your idea Jason. Don't give us the credit for your failures."

Bruce raised a single eyebrow. "Explain."

Tim sighed. "Dick forgave you a while ago. We just made you think that he hadn't. He wasn't lying to you. So can you forgive him so that he doesn't move out?"

"No. As far as I'm concerned, it's his turn to apologize. He went too far when we were yelling at each other earlier."

"Whatever it was he said, Dickhead's too nice to actually mean it."

"I don't care. Either he apologizes or he leaves."

Tim and Jason looked at each other before coming to an agreement. There was nothing they could say now to change Bruce's mind. Hopefully, Damian had had more luck with Dick. If Dick apologized, maybe things could go back to normal.

###

This time Damian was waiting for them in the kitchen. "By the looks on your faces, you had as much luck with Father as I had with Grayson. It seems that the lack of trust Father displayed is unforgivable in Grayson's eyes."

Tim sank into one of the barstools. "Bruce won't apologize. He says it is Dick's turn."

The three boys sat in dismayed silence as they thought of what their failure meant. Dick would be leaving the next morning. Permanently. And by the looks of things, he wouldn't be visiting for a long time. And considering how stubborn both Dick and Bruce were, who knew when they would finally talk to each other again. It was a disaster.

Jason allowed his head to fall onto the granite countertop. "Well fuck. I knew we should've faked a medical emergency."

###

It was three in the morning, and the boys had long since retired to their rooms. Dick had no doubt that they weren't sleeping though. They were probably too worried about him leaving the next day.

Slipping out of his room, he silently padded across the hall to Bruce's room, careful to avoid the creaky floorboard. Opening the door, Dick stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him.

Dick moved soundlessly to Bruce's bed, not surprised at all to see that the man was wide awake and watching him with an amused smile.

"Aren't we supposed to be 'fighting' Chum?"

"Sure. In front of the boys. They are going to freak when we go to breakfast tomorrow and act like it never happened."

Bruce patted the spot next to him in the massive bed, and Dick quickly climbed on and scooted so that he was next to his father. "I still think that it is a little mean Dick."

Dick shrugged. "So is trying to make an issue where there wasn't any."

Bruce chuckled slightly. "True. Although I like to think that we are slightly more mature than them."

"Maybe you are. But I'm certainly not. I'm just glad that we cleared things up before it became a real issue."

"Me too Chum. More glad than I can express."

The two men sat in silence for a while before Dick sighed. "I better go back to my room. I'm sure one of the boys will check on me soon. Make sure I didn't sneak off in the middle of the night."

Dick clambered off of the bed, pausing before he left. "Dad?"

As always, Bruce's heart skipped slightly when Dick said that word. It did every time any of his sons called him that. "Yeah Kiddo?"

"I love you. I just wanted you to know."

Bruce studied Dick. He was looked at the floor like he was willing it to swallow him and a faint flush was rising up his neck. In other words, he was adorably awkward. "I know. You should know that I love you too."

Dick offered him a grin and a quick wave before he once again soundlessly made his way out of Bruce's room, although this time with a little more spring in his step. Bruce chuckled before rolling over and falling asleep. The next morning would certainly be interesting.

###

Tim cautiously made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Damian and Jason were already at the table. Dick and Bruce were not. Tim looked up the stairs and wondered whether or not he should attempt to wake them. It was probably best not to, but he was the responsible one.

One cue, he heard the sounds of two people walking down the stairs. Tim held his breathe, and judging by the looks on Jason and Damian's faces, he was not the only one. He expected to feel frosty silence as soon as the pair entered the room. Instead, there was easy going camaraderie as Dick animatedly explained something.

Tim blinked, rubbed his eyes, and blinked again. Why were they being so...nice? They should be yelling! Dick should be trying to leave! What had he missed? And since Damian and Jason looked just as confused, they had obviously missed it too. How was that possible?

Jason cracked first. "Why are you two friends again? We were going to fake a medical emergency! Damian was going to cry! We had a plan to get you to back to normal!"

Dick shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't know what you're talking about Jaybird. We've been good. Right Dad?"

"Right."

Damian shook his head. "Grayson. You were going to leave. Yet you claim to have no recollection of that?"

"I've never had any intent on leaving. Well, my own apartment would be kind of nice, maybe I should look into it…"

"No!" Jason, Tim, and Damian shouted simultaneously.

Dick blinked. "Okay, I guess I won't. Any reason you guys are so worked up?"

"Dick. You had your bags packed. Will you stop messing with us now please. We were, and still are, really worried."

Dick ran a hand through his hair. "Well when you put it that way Tim, I feel like a real ass."

Jason crossed his arms. "What did you do Dickhead?"

"Our fight was faked. We were angry at you guys for messing with us. Well, I was angry at least. And then our fortune cookies basically said to go with it."

Jason glared daggers. "Let me get this straight. You put us through the emotional wringer just because your fortune cookies said it was okay."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "You have no right to be angry Jason. You were the one who started this crap. You're just lucky that we played a prank instead of me grounding your ass for the foreseeable future."

"Well when you put it that way, I totally see the benefit of being emotionally manipulated."

Dick smiled brightly and pulled Jason and Damian into a rib cracking hug. He then proceed to glare at Tim and Bruce until they both joined in on the hug.

For a moment, it was a perfect family moment. One that Alfred dutifully photographed for the next Christmas card. Then Damian started to squirm before he reached out and bit the closest arm. Which happened to be Tim's. Shocked by the sudden pain, Tim's other arm flailed up and smacked Jason in the face. Jason growled and tried to dive bomb Tim, who was already chasing Damian around.

Dick and Bruce watched in shock as Damian knocked over a priceless vase and Tim dove to catch it. He did manage to save the vase, but unfortunately, it left him an open target for Jason who dove down right on top of Tim. Alfred walked by calmly and took the vase from Tim's hands just as Damian dove on top of Jason with a vicious snarl.

Dick sighed. "It was nice while it lasted."

Bruce smirked back at his eldest son. "Guess we're back to business as usual. You might want to take Damian off of Jason before he bites off Jason's ear."

Dick sighed as he walked over to the fighting mass of limbs and untangled Damian, gently prying apart his jaw to release Jason's ear. That caused Jason to growl and tackle Dick.

Bruce smirked from the table where he had taken up residence. Picking up the cup of coffee and the newspaper, Bruce tuned out the noise of his four fighting boys. It really was business as usual again. And he was never happier.

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 **A/N: First of all...WOW. That was way longer than I had intended. The rough rough draft was only like 500 words. This was 3,500 words.**

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 **IMPORTANT!**

 **So here's a chance to be mentioned in the next chapter. I want to do a chapter where Jason gets arrested (for what, I don't know yet) and while he waits to be bailed out, he makes friends with the other people sitting in the overcrowded jail cell. Your mission, if you chose to accept it, is to help me come up with people that can be sitting with Jason in the jail cell.**

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 **Names, physical features, why they got arrested, backstories, and whatever the hell else you want to include would be greatly appreciated. Keep in mind that it is Gotham, so it can be crazy!**

 **Thank you so much for your help! I can't wait to see what you come up with!**


	49. Jailhouse Blues

**Jailhouse Blues**

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 **A/N: Be warned! Jason's foul mouth makes an appearance. As well as multiple outright mentions of sex.**

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Jason sighed. How had he managed to get himself into this mess? It started when he was invited to the biggest party of the year at school. Jason, being well Jason, had showed up in a leather jacket and immediately grabbed a solo cup filled with booze. He had been on his third drink and dancing provocatively with Elizabeth Wilchester when the police knocked on the door. Which was when the night went south.

An officer was trying to arrest Jason for underage drinking, when somewhere in Jason's slightly drunk mind, he decided it was a good idea to punch the guy and then try and run away. Which was why Jason was being charged with underage drinking, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer.

And that was the reason that Jason was roughly shoved into a communal holding cell for people above the age of eighteen while the rest of his classmates were sitting in the waiting room of the precinct waiting for their parents. As Jason watched the bars slam closed, he groaned. The day really couldn't get much worse.

###

Jason decided that his day was much worse. Apparently, the cops don't know the meaning of wanting a phone call. All he wanted to do was call Dick and ask he to bail him out. Maybe the man could smooth things out with the Commissioner for him. And maybe, just maybe, Jason could convince Dick that keeping the whole 'Jason got arrested' thing from Bruce was a brotherly bonding experience. Dick was all for anything that involved the concept of bonding.

Point being, he couldn't call Dick because they wouldn't give him his damn phone call. And then there were his cell mates. They were freaks, the lot of them. All six of them were insane. He was the sanest one in there, which really spoke volumes about the other people. And to make matters worse, one of them kept hitting on him. Normally he would love the attention, but the lady was old. Like really old.

And then there was the girl in the Alice in Wonderland costume who was literally dancing around the cell. Maybe he should introduce her to the Mad Hatter. It would be his good deed of the year.

The Alice look alike bounded up to him. "Hi! My name's Alice! I like to play truth or dare, will you play with me?"

Jason really wanted to say no. He really really did, but the other occupants in the cell were all glaring at him as if daring him to deny the girl. Sighing, Jason nodded and joined to circle of people.

Alice clapped her hands excitedly. She was like a crazier version of Dick. Boundless energy and enthusiasm that made Jason want to shoot himself, or her. Mostly her. "Okay guys! Before we start, we should go around the circle and tell everyone our names and what we were arrested for! I'll start. My name is Alice Liddell and I was arrested for a tea set and toys before having a tea party on the roof of the toy store."

Jason blinked. Was she serious? He really had to hook her up with the Mad Hatter. And her last name was Liddell like the Alice from the original story. Maybe that's where the whole identity crisis came from. Realizing that it was his turn, Jason cleared his throat. "Uh. My name's Jason. And I was arrested for underage drinking. And resisting arrest. Oh and assaulting a police officer." If the others noticed that he didn't say his last name, they didn't comment.

The old hag was next. "My name is Edna Bealton. And I was arrested for assaulting one of my Bingo friends. And for running an illegal gambling ring." Jason had to give the lady some credit. She was tough shit.

"My name is Jack of Spades! I am the new villain of Gotham, heroes beware!" Jason studied the guy. His hair was sloppily died half red and half black and he had a ill fitting leotard on. Basically he looked like an idiot.

Edna seemed to agree. "Why is your hair half red you moron? And you ain't no villain if the police caught you before you could make a name for yourself!"

The man blushed crimson. "I couldn't decide. I almost named myself the Jack of Diamonds, but decided that that was too tacky for a diamond thief."

"You're my natural enemy!" The guy on Alice's other side suddenly yelled. Jason took note of the costume mask lying across his eyes. "I'm the newest vigilante of Gotham. Soon I shall join ranks with the Batman and he will be at awe of my skills!"

Jason cleared his throat. "Dude. Just tell us your name and why you got arrested."

"My name is Jackson Barnes." Suddenly the man seemed embarrassed. "I got arrested for getting in the way of the police and allowing the art thieves to get away." Jason had to give the guy credit. He had high hopes. Wanting to go from getting in the way of the police to gaining Batman's respect was not exactly achievable.

"My name is Trixie Lockland, and I got arrested for molesting Red Robin. I really wanted to feel up Red Hood, but he wasn't there tonight. It really sucked."

Jason blinked in surprise. And stared at the beautiful and slightly crazy woman in front of him. She had the whole exotic model thing going on, but judging by the reason she got arrested, she had more than a few screws loose.

The final girl sighed from her position sitting in the corner of the jailcell. Her neon green hair looked dull in the fluorescent lighting. Jason studied her closer, she was probably pretty in a punk way. "My name is Tiffany Carlon. I got arrested when the police searched my place and found several stolen goods."

Jason narrowed his eyes. She wasn't a thief, she was taking the fall for someone. He could tell. His Bat Senses were tingling. Or at least that was how Dick described the feeling. Nerd.

Alice clapped her hands excitedly. "Now we can play! I like to play! Okay, my turn first. Jason? Truth or dare?"

Like hell he was revealing anything personal. "Dare."

"I dare you, to yell the first word that pops into your head."

"Mad Hatter."

Alice tilted her head to the side. "Why would you think that?"

Everyone else in the room groaned or visibly face palmed. Was the lady serious? It was a pretty obvious thought process. Jason rolled his eyes but turned to Tiffany. "Truth or dare Punk Girl?"

"Truth."

"Who you taking the fall for?"

Tiffany's eyes widened substantially, before narrowing to slits. Looking around to make sure that the coast was clear, she whispered harshly, "My brother."

"Why?"

"I would do anything for my brother. Wouldn't you?"

Jason thought of Dick's smiling face, the way Tim would squint on a particularly challenging case, and Damian's scowl. Would he take the fall for them? Probably. Especially if it was something serious. They would never last in prison. Well, maybe Damian would. But Dick was too nice and Tim was too timid. They'd be someone's bitch the second they walked in.

Tiffany seemed to see the answer in his eyes and nodded, sending him a small smirk. Jason rolled his eyes but watched as he dared Jackson to give the Jack of Spades a lap dance. The man did it grudgingly, citing that he could not be the first to say 'no'.

It went on for a while, and Jason couldn't help but hope that someone would ask him next. It wasn't as much fun just watching other people play. Finally Edna turned to him and asked, "Truth or dare?"

Jason firmly had a no truth policy, but the way Edna was looking at him was slightly unnerving. He was not going to give her a strip tease, and he had a feeling that that was what she would demand. So ignoring all the rules he had previously made for himself, Jason mumbled, "Truth."

Edna looked disappointed, and Jason knew he had made the right choice, until she said, "Where is the weirdest place you've had sex?"

Jason's mind immediately went to the Batcave, but he couldn't exactly say that. So instead, he said, "A cable car." He left out the fact that it had been in China, or that Dick had given him an extremely dissapointed look which told Jason that he was not as subtle as he had been hoping. As far as he knew, Bruce still didn't know, and he hoped that it stayed that way.

A pounding on the cell made all of them turn. An obese and annoyed looking cop stood there with his arms crossed. "You can make your phone call now kid."

Jason stood up and stretched. "Jack truth or dare?"

The Jack of Spades grumbled at his new nickname but didn't comment. "Dare."

"I dare you to act like your favorite Disney princess for the rest of the game." Rolling his eyes at the impatient cop, Jason said, "I'll be right back. Keep playing."

Jason walked away with the grumpy cop prodding his back like he was some sort of idiot that needed directions. Jason could hear that Jack was already acting what Jason thought was supposed to be Belle. Or maybe Elsa? Dick was way better at recognizing Disney princesses.

"There's the phone punk." Jason wondered if this guy was being so rude because he knew who he was, or because he didn't. Jason wasn't about to ask.

Dialing Dick's number, Jason chanted, 'Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!' in his head. Glancing at the clock, He realized that it was 3:30 a.m. Dick was probably in the shower. He really hoped that Bruce was distracted by some villain and was therefore still in the Batcave and had yet to check Jason's room and realize that he was not home.

Right before the voicemail came on, he heard Dick's breathless voice say, "Hello?"

Jason sighed in relief. He was saved. "Dick, it's me."

"Jaybird! It's about time that you called! I know that you're at a party and it's 'uncool' to call and check in with your older brother, but I was getting worried! Alfred said you hadn't called, and I promised you that I wouldn't tell Bruce where you were. He did ask though, I said you were with Roy. I hope that's okay. Oh, I should probably call Roy and tell him before Bruce checks your alibi. Wait. What number are you calling from? That's not your cell phone!"

Jason rolled his eyes. The idiot finally realized. "Look. I need you to pick me up. Discretely. As in without Bruce noticing that you're leaving."

"Sure. Where are you?"

Shit. He really didn't think this through. He forgot that he would actually have to tell Dick the part about him being arrested. The man was going to give him the 'I'm so disappointed in you' look that made him feel smaller than a fucking ant. "Um. That's the thing. I'm at GCPD, and I'm currently using my one phone call."

There was an audible sigh coming from the other side of the line. "Hang on, I'm coming. I gotta put some clothes on, and then sneak out. I better call Roy and tell him your cover story too. Jay, I really wish I was picking you up from some stupid party because you're too drunk to drive home."

Jason felt his gut curdle with guilt. "Yeah. Me too. I'll make it up to you. Just don't tell Bruce."

"Got it. I'll be there in half an hour. Be on your best behavior until then. I don't want to give the GCPD a reason to keep you."

"I will. And Dick? Thanks."

Dick's voice softened. "Your welcome Jaybird."

Hearing a click, and then the dial tone, Jason put the phone back onto the receiver. He then allowed the cop to lead him back to the cell, where everyone was once again arguing. Resuming his spot from earlier, he realized that they were arguing over whether or not Jackson had it in him to be a real vigilante.

After five minutes Jason had enough. "Dude! There's no way you'll survive being a vigilante in Gotham. Do you know how many different kinds of martial arts the Bats know? Not to mention all the resources they have! If you want to be a vigilante and live go to Jump City. The villains there are less hard core."

Jackson looked at him with stars in his eyes. "Thank you Jason. Getting arrested was so worth it because I met you! Now I know what to do with my life. I'm moving as soon as I get out of here!"

Jason was more than a little creeped out. "Since I'm in an advice giving mood, anyone else have questions before my brother springs me from this joint?"

Jack of Spades waved a hand in the air excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! Me next! Me next!" Seeing Jason's exasperated nod, the man said, "Do you think I have a chance at being a villain?"

"Sure in Jump City. You and Jackson here can be mortal enemies that actually like each other."

Jack of Spade's eyes widened in wonder. "That's a thing?"

Jason rolled his eyes. Didn't these people know anything? "Sure. Think Batman and Catwoman with less sexual tension. Granted, you guys did share a lapdance earlier, so maybe the tension is there."

Alice got up and started to dance around Jason. "You're so smart. I want advice too! I want a boyfriend but nobody gets me! Got anyone in mind?"

Jason stared at her. He did want to set her up with Jarvis Tetch. "Ever hear of a villain by the name of the Mad Hatter? He's always looking for a beautiful blonde named Alice."

Alice sat down and sighed dreamily. Her and Tetch would be the next Joker and Harley. Totally insane but made for each other. In a demented and creepy sort of way.

Trixie sat up straighter and gave him a sultry smile. "How about me, Sugar?"

"Uh...join nympho anonymous? And don't molest heroes? Actually, I'm sure Red Arrow would like it. Just keep harassing him, it'll where him down eventually. And if he asks, you can tell him Jason sent you. He'll know what it means."

Edna looked at him with hunger in her eyes. "Not happening."

Edna pouted. "Fine. How do I not get caught when I establish my gambling ring again?"

Jason thought about it carefully. How could he help prevent her from catching the Old Man's attention? "Make it exclusive and high stakes. And have blackmail on every customer and employee. That way nobody is willing to blab."

"You are such a darling young man. I wish you would take me up on my offer and let me teach you what a real woman likes."

Jason didn't bother to respond. Instead he turned to Tiffany with a raised eyebrow. "How's your kid brother with science and math stuff?"

"Not great."

"How about children?"

Tiffany thought about it before smiling softly. "Really good. He has a good heart."

Jason nodded, thinking. He was in a position to help the kid and his sister. "He into the hard stuff?"

"No, well I don't think so,"

Jason frowned. That was not a good answer. "Look. I can get you a good paying job." Seeing the look of horror on her face, he hastily added, "A real one. You'll probably have to dye your hair a normal color and take out some of your piercings, but the people there will treat you right. And they will put your brother through rehab for you, before employing him in the rehabilitation program."

Tiffany looked at him with suspicion in her eyes, but he could see the hope there too. Just as he was about to explain who he was, the cop from before banged on the bars. "Wayne. Your brother's here."

Jason shot the man a look. "It's Todd. I only use the name Wayne for legal purposes."

The cop rolled his eyes, but didn't comment. Jason turned back to Tiffany and saw her wide eyes. Standing up, Jason cracked his back. "You start Monday. Report to me at 9 a.m. I'll show you the ropes. After lunch, we'll go to the department store and use the company credit card to buy you some work appropriate clothing. We're pretty lax, but the jeans with holes won't work."

Tiffany nodded then shook her head. "Wait. They're booking me. I can't start working on Monday!"

Jason shrugged. "I'll talk to Dick. He will explain your situation to the Commissioner and make sure your brother is put into rehab. He'll be angry at you, and probably say things that he doesn't mean. But once he's clean, he'll get it. Right now all he can think about is his next fix. He can't see how he's hurting you."

Tiffany nodded tearfully. "Thanks. You're the first person that's really seen me since my parents died."

Uncomfortable, Jason shifted his weight. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever."

Suddenly there was a crashing noise and a yell. "Jason! You're not being murdered back there are you? If you aren't, I'd appreciate it if you could hurry up!"

Jason sighed. "That would be my ride. I'll see you Monday Tiffany. As for the rest of you, you're not complete losers, which is more than I was suspecting considering we met in a jail cell."

Giving one last chin nod, Jason followed the cop to where Dick was waiting. "Jason! You're okay!"

"Of course I am Dickhead! Did you think I couldn't handle myself?"

Dick looked momentarily embarrassed. "Can we go home now?" The unsaid _before Bruce realizes that we're gone_ was quite clear.

Jason took a deep breathe. "Well, actually, I need you to talk to the Commissioner for me. You see, I made friends. And one of them took the fall for her brother, and she needs help. I offered her a job and said we could get her brother in rehab."

Dick rubbed his temples tiredly. "Did her brother do anything besides use illegal substances?"

"Well he stole some shit."

"Let me guess, they found said 'shit' in her appartment."

Jason ran a hand through his hair. When Dick put it that way, it sounded pretty bad. "Well yeah."

"How old's the kid?"

"Fifteen."

Dick sighed deeply. "Let's go talk to Commissioner Gordon. You owe me so big for this."

Jason cheered internally as Dick led the way to the Commissioner's office.

###

Jason started to tune out his brother and Jim Gordon the moment he walked through the door. Well actually, he started to tune them out as soon as Dick said, "Do you know what could have happened to Jason if people had figured out he was a Wayne?" He wasn't exactly eager to hear that argument. Instead, he took out his phone and checked his text messages. He had multiple from Bruce and one from Roy. Deciding to ignore Bruce for now, he texted Roy back.

 **Roy: Dick said you needed an alibi**

 **Jason: Yes**

 **Roy: May I ask why?**

 **Jason: Went to a party against Bruce's wishes**

 **Jason: Proceeded to get arrested**

 **Roy: Seriously? Why didn't you sneak out a back window?**

 **Jason: Because my tipsy mind decided that it was better to punch the cop**

 **Roy: You're an idiot**

 **Jason: I pride myself in that**

 **Roy: If the Bat calls, I'll tell him we've been playing Call of Duty all night**

 **Jason: Thanks bro**

 **Roy: What should I say when he asks to talk to you**

 **Jason: That after a dare to drink a cocktail of different sodas and other items from your fridge and cabinets I am puking my guts out**

 **Roy: Gross**

 **Jason: Which is why the Old Man won't ask further questions**

 **Roy: Genius**

 **Jason: I know**

 **Roy: Gotta go. Ollie is calling. Apparently Dinah is mad at him**

 **Jason: Go play love doctor**

 **Roy: Shithead**

 **Jason: Fucker**

Jason locked his phone just in time to hear Dick say, "Commissioner Gordon, he's a minor. We both know that he will be sentenced to juvie and when he gets released he will commit worse offenses. We want to put him in the Wayne Rehabilitation Program. He will be at a secure rehab facility before working as a delivery boy or daycare personnel at Wayne Corp. He'll also be required to have weekly visits with one of our counselors to check in on his progress and his state of mind. If it were to make you feel better, I'm sure the guardian, who is currently in your jail for a crime her brother committed, would be willing to force him to wear a tracking device."

Jason waited impatiently for the Commissioner's reply. "Fine. But he gets in trouble again, and I'll push to have him tried as an adult. We'll let the sister go now too. But that boy better be sent to rehab right now. He will run if he gets word."

Dick nodded solemnly and ushered Jason outside. "Let's wait for your friend. I'll call the orderlies at the Thomas Wayne Memorial Rehabilitation Center. They'll meet us at her address."

When Dick's phone started to ring, both boys looked at it with wide eyes. Only one person would be calling them at this time. Jason shook his head frantically, but Dick just rolled his eyes and answered it. "Hi Bruce! What are you doing calling me at this time at night?...What am I doing? Well, an old friend called me for help. She sounded real desperate, so I went to pick her up from the Police Station. Apparently she was mugged!...Her name? Why you want to know?...Bruce! Don't you dare! I trust her, you don't need to confirm her story!...Jason? He's with Roy…...I don't know what they're doing! Call Roy. Seriously, Jason doesn't tell me everything…...Okay, you can be suspicious if you want…...I'll see you when I get home…...Yeah yeah. I'll drive safely….Bye Bruce."

Turning to Jason, Dick crossed his arms. "If I hadn't answered, he would have checked the trackers. I got your back Jason. Don't ever doubt that."

That was when Tiffany came out. She looked between Jason and Dick curiously and Jason took that as his cue to walk over to her. "So. First of all, this is my brother Dick. He managed to convince the Commissioner to let you and your brother off the hook, if he goes into rehab tonight. That, and if he commits another crime he will be tried as an adult no matter what his age is."

Tiffany nodded tearfully. Dick smiled gently and said, "Hi Tiffany. Jason's told me a lot about you. I can give you a ride home if you'd like. The orderlies from the Thomas Wayne Memorial Rehabilitation Center are going to meet us there."

Tiffany stared at the two brothers before taking a rubber band out of her pocket and tying her hair back sloppily. Tendrils slipped out and she tucked them behind her ears roughly. "I'll take a cab. That rehab center is expensive isn't it? I don't think I can afford it."

Dick narrowed his eyes at her and stared. Tiffany shifted nervously from foot to foot before beginning to bite her nails. Jason was about to hit his brother and tell him to knock it off, when Dick's whole face lit up and he snapped his fingers. "I got it! You're Tiffany Carlon! You won a scholarship from the Wayne Foundation for 'Scientific Achievement' but turned it down because you wouldn't be able to work if you went to school! Oh man! We can stick her down in R&D and she'll be in nerd heaven. That, and she can keep the whole punk look she has going on. It really suits you by the way."

Tiffany blinked. Jason couldn't help but laugh. Dick certainly had a way of saying the unexpected. Turning back to her, Jason answered her earlier concern. "The Wayne Foundation pays for a certain number of people to get treatment every year. Granted, the VIP clients get better amenities, but it's a hell of a lot better than state run rehab facilities."

Tiffany nodded. "Okay. I'll call the cab. I'll see you guys Monday."

Dick nodded and shook her hand. When Tiffany let go, she found that she had a crisp hundred dollar bill sticking out of the front pocket of her jeans. "For the cab." Dick clarified before she got the wrong idea.

With that, Dick dragged Jason out of the building. Jason barely had time to yell 'bye' before the precinct doors swung shut behind him.

Dick had parked around the corner, and the boys walked in relative silence to the car. Suddenly Jason groaned. "Oh man. How are we going to explain to Bruce that you picked me up? You said you were helping your mugged friend at the precinct and Roy told Bruce that I was busy puking my guts out."

"Shit. Uh, Roy couldn't handle you and sent you to the Gotham zeta beam forgetting about the one in the Batcave. Panicking at the thought of what Bruce would do to him, he called me to pick you up. I was leaving the precinct so I just swung by and got you."

Jason stared at his older brother. "You're good at the whole lying to Bruce thing."

Dick rolled his eyes. "I spent a while as an only child Jason. I didn't have you guys there to cover my back. When I snuck out and was caught I had to make my own excuses, I didn't have a brother or two to cover my back. Though Alfred did help me once or twice when I went on a date and Bruce was in his whole 'You're too young to date' phase."

Jason snorted. "That was a thing? Did you remind him that he's one to talk?"

"Yup. And it got me grounded every single time."

The two brothers shared a laugh before climbing into Dick's car. They had come up with a convincing lie, now they just had to convince Bruce that it was the truth.

###

Bruce watched as his two sons climbed the stairs and fist bumped. They had told him a convincing story of coincidences and happenstance, that under normal circumstances he might have been inclined to believe because Dick was the one telling it and not Jason. However, these were not normal circumstances.

Alfred came over and handed him a cup of hot chocolate. Sending the faithful butler a grateful look, Bruce asked, "Do you think I should tell them that the Commissioner called and apologized for locking Jason up in the communal holding cell?"

The butler's eyes sparkled slightly as he drolly said, "Best let them think they got one over you Sir. Perhaps the Young Master will feel comfortable confiding in Master Dick again the next time he is in trouble. Master Dick would surely tell you if it was something that he couldn't handle, or if he felt uncomfortable. I'm sure that allowing them this small victory will only strengthen their bond."

Bruce's lips twitched. "As usual, you are correct Alfred. But perhaps I can harass Harper. He did after all, send my sick son to the wrong location in Gotham."

"I would expect no less of you, Sir."

###

Jason got a call a week later from Roy. "Next time you need an alibi, call someone else! Your father is insane! And thanks for siccing a crazy nympho molester on my ass. She's determined to have my children!" Abruptly, the dial tone rang in Jason's ear. Furrowing his eyebrows, Jason stared at his phone. What was his problem?

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 **A/N: I got so many wonderful character ideas from you guys. I literally printed out three pages of reviews from the site and read and reread all the characters until I narrowed it down. It was so hard though. Thank you all so so much.**

 **So special thanks to:**

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 **WazupRose for Jackson Barns the wannabe vigilante (Sorry that your name wasn't here originally, I just realized that the sight deleted it due to the period) **

**Summer Breeze** **for Tiffany Carlon the caring sister and very punk chick**

 **Princess0Bunny** **for Alice Liddell the upbeat future psycho**

 **WhenUniversesCollide** **for Edna Bealton the gambling and very inappropriate old lady**

 **Question The Facts** **for Jack of Spades, a villain as hard core as the Condiment King**

 **and**

 **FanficReader1212** **for Trixie Lockland the nympho who loves heroes**

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 **And thanks to everyone else who submitted an idea:**

 _ **Blue Heart Burning, PiperGrayson, Spider-Bat, roxassoul, Marykate, FanficReader1212, The Best Guest, LoveMuffins, YuGiOhLover09**_ **and** _ **LilOtaku**_

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 **Rest assured there are plenty more stories to come, so please keep reading! OMG. I just realized that the next chapter is the 50th. Do I get a special prize or something? Besides the warm and tingling feeling that even after 50 chapters people are still reading my story, reviewing it and favoriting it, because believe me that is more than enough. Anyways, most of you don't read the author's note, so I'll just let you get back to whatever fanfic you were planning on reading next!**


	50. Substitute

**Substitute**

Dick scratched his bare chest as he made his way down the stairs with his lady friend. It was late, and he knew that he would be getting an earful from Bruce when he finally made it to the office. Apparently, having a grownup sleepover wasn't a good excuse for being late. He's have to remind Bruce of that next time the man came in slightly flustered with a subtle jump in his step.

Giving Alfred a sleepy smile, Dick grabbed two mugs of coffee and was about to leave the kitchen when he saw something peculiar. "Hey Alfred? Why is Jason's meat lover's sandwich sitting on the counter?"

The trusted butler raised an eyebrow. "Oh dear. It appears that I accidentally gave it to Master Damian and he left it here out of protest. Would you be so kind as to go to Gotham Academy and switch their lunches? I'd hate for both boys to go hungry. I very much doubt that Master Jason will touch the vegetarian wrap I made for Master Damian."

Dick sighed. Alfred did not make mistakes like this. This was revenge. Next time he was definitely spending the night at his partner's house. Or maybe the Wayne Towers? The penthouse remained untouched since they had moved back into the manor.

Sighing, Dick nodded and left the kitchen. Offering a brief apology to the girl for her untimely dismissal, Dick bounded up the stairs ignoring the curses being directed at him. Alfred would lead her out the door. Besides, what was she expecting? It was common knowledge that he wasn't looking for anything serious.

Shaking his head to dispel the thoughts, Dick quickly changed into a pair of slacks and a button down shirt. Rolling the sleeves up, Dick grabbed a tie, allowing it to hang loosely and crookedly from his neck.

Appeased that he was fit for society, Dick ignored Alfred's disapproving glare, snatched the lunch off of the counter, and hollered his goodbye before jumping on his motorcycle. It was way too nice of a day to take a car. That, and he looked badass riding a motorcycle. Jason would approve.

###

Dick pulled up in front of the school in record time. Swinging a leg off his bike, Dick whistled as he walked to the front office. He was glad that for once he was entering the school on his own volition and not because he had to pick up one of his brothers.

Marching into the front office, Dick sauntered up to the secretary who was currently on the phone. Dick paid no mind, leaning on the desk patiently and sending the secretary a wink. The woman giggled slightly, covering the reciever with her hand so that the person on the other end couldn't hear.

That was when the principal walked in. Dick smiled and reached out and shook the man's hand. They were decent friends now, Dick had even joined him and Ms. Stratten out for drinks one night with Zatanna. It was nice, and as long as his brothers stayed out of trouble, it would remain nice.

"What can I do for you Dick? I don't recall one of your brothers wreaking havoc, unless you know something I don't."

Dick kept the cheery grin on his face despite the implication. His brothers were devils. He knew it, Mr. Kade knew it, and the world knew it. It was only a matter of time before Bruce was being called about trouble that the boys had caused.

"No. Damian got Jason's lunch by mistake and when he saw the meat lover's sandwich, he left it. I was sent to switch the lunches before Jason realizes that he got a vegetarian wrap and throws a fit. Something about him being a man, and real men don't eat rabbit food. Honestly, I stopped listening about two minutes into the rant."

Mr. Kade chuckled and shook his head in amusement. Dick nodded his head at the packed lunch, "So, do I just leave this here? Or is there a special process to this? As you can see, I'm more adept at acting as my brothers legal council."

This earned a laugh from everyone in the office. Dick had to fight the urge to take a bow. He was a circus brat after all, earning laughs was kinda his thing.

Mr. Kade gestured to the visitor badges. "Our speaker system is down right now do to an unidentifiable student's prank." Dick could tell that the man suspected Jason but had no proof. "Could you do us a favor and deliver it yourself? We're a little short staffed right now."

Dick shrugged that sounded easy enough. He could deliver a few lunches before heading to the office and ignoring Bruce's haughty looks.

Dick was pinning the badge to his shirt when Mr. Kade grabbed a file from the counter and offered it to him. "Look, this is a little unconventional but like I said, we're short staffed today. Would you mind delivering this to Damian's teacher? You're heading that way anyways."

Nodding, Dick took the file. Waving to the secretary and Mr. Kade, Dick sauntered down the halls whistling softly to himself. This would be a piece of cake. Speaking of cake, maybe he should buy one on the way to work, Bruce would be more likely to forgive him for being late with the incentive of a sugary treat.

###

Knocking quietly on the door, Dick entered the classroom. Much to his displeasure, Jason was not in the room, nor was his stuff. Ms. Stratten raised a curious eyebrow at him, but didn't ask. Dick folded himself in what he assumed was Jason's seat. Grinning at the befuddled teacher, he said, "I'm supposed to deliver something to my brother, but since he has decided not to grace us with his presence, I guess I'll have to wait."

Dick sat in the class patiently, every once and awhile volunteering an answer. He was not a genius like Tim or a chemistry buff like Jason, but Dick thought himself to be pretty smart. Especially with people. He could read microexpressions better than anyone in his family. Granted, most of them were emotionally constipated and therefore could hardly recognize their own feelings, let alone the feelings of others, but that was a different story.

It was one hour after Dick had arrived in the classroom, that Jason finally decided to make an appearance. The teen stormed in, disrupting the whole classroom environment. Dick would really have to talk to him later about entering the room quietly.

Jason, for all his self-proclaimed observation skills did not notice Dick. Texting rapidly, he said, "Fucker, you're in my seat. Go find a different spot."

Dick grinned, as smothered laughter rang out from all the teenagers in the classroom. Even Ms. Stratten seemed amused by Jason's oversight. Dick put both of his feet on the desk, crossing his ankles comfortably. "Wanna say that again, Asshat?"

Jason looked up from his phone and did a double take. "Dick? Wait what?"

Dick rolled his eyes as the class dissolved into giggles. Placing his feet on the ground, Dick stood up and wagged his finger in his brother's face. If he were anywhere else, Jason would've broken it, but as it was, Jason could only growl. "How is it that I arrived to your class faster than you did Jay? You were already dropped off at school when I woke up."

The whole class 'oohed' as if Jason were about to get in major trouble. Dick sighed. For a class of seniors, they sure were immature. "I just came to drop off your lunch. Apparently, Alfred mixed them up this morning. Damian got yours, so we'll just trade and I'll be on my way."

Jason raised an eyebrow at Dick. "You came all this way to deliver a lunch?"

"The King of the Manor demanded it of me, so yeah." Everyone in the class assumed he meant Bruce, but Jason knew that Alfred was the one who Dick was referring to. Probably in petty revenge for making him wash the bedsheets.

Jason opened his bag and pulled out a lunch bag. Peeking inside, Dick groaned. The handmade pizza was definitely Tim's lunch. Looked like he had another stop to make before he could go to work.

Switching the lunches, Dick took a few steps towards the door before doubling back and stealing Jason's coffee. Rushing out the door, Dick yelled 'bye' over the sounds of Jason's angry curses. At least he had caffeine though. It would be worth whatever prank Jason pulled out of revenge.

###

Dick walked into Tim's class to find Ms. Decraw droning on about Macbeth and Tim sound asleep. Thanking whatever possessed him to steal Jason's coffee, Dick waved it around Tim's nose. Immediately, the boy was up and alert and reaching for the caffeine. Dick allowed him to have it. It wasn't like he paid for it.

Tim blinked up at him before he seemed to realize what Dick's presence in his classroom meant. He looked like he was going to start packing his bags, so Dick held up his hand. "Look. Alfred gave Damian Jason's lunch, so Damian left it at home out of principle. I was told to go trade the lunches, but Jason had yours. So now, I'd like to exchange your lunch for Damian's so that someone doesn't end up in the hospital when he gets cranky."

It took Tim a moment to process Dick's words before he wordlessly handed over Damian's lunch. Dick sighed in relief. Maybe there was a chance of him making it into the office before Bruce learned how to weaponize the batglare.

Dick was in the process of walking out the door when Tim said, "Thanks for the coffee."

Dick shrugged. "Don't thank me, I stole it from Jason."

The last thing Dick saw before the door closed was Tim looking at the coffee as if it had committed a grievous offense against him. So basically, like it was Damian.

###

Dick knocked softly on the door to Damian's classroom. Entering, he scoped the classroom until he noticed his grumpy looking brother. He would never ever tell Damian, but he reminded him of a disgruntled kitten.

Giving Ms. Jax a small finger wave, he walked over to his younger brother and crouched down next to him. Pretending not to notice the way Damian face lit up, Dick held out the bagged lunch. "I believe this is for you."

Damian peeked inside and seemed to be appeased by the contents. "Thank you Grayson. This is more than adequate unlike that meat monstrosity that I received earlier."

"Sorry about that Dami. There was a small mix up. That was Jason's lunch."

Damian sniffed. "I figured. You may leave now Grayson. I'm sure that Father is waiting for you."

Dick groaned internally at the thought, but stood up and ruffled Damian's hair despite the boy's protest. Walking up to Ms. Jax, Dick gave his best flirty smile and bowed, holding out the file in the process. "M'lady. Mr. Kade asked me to deliver this to your fine hands."

Ms. Jax laughed softly and opened the file. Deciding that he was no longer needed, Dick headed to the door, waving goodbye at the kids. He stopped short when he heard the screech come from behind him.

Turning around, Dick watched as Ms. Jax dropped the file to the ground and grabbed her purse. "I need a vacation!"

Dick stared at her as she basically sprinted out of the classroom. Ignoring the whispers and giggles of the students, Dick walked up to the classroom telephone. Their, he used the directory to call the principle. "Ah, Ms. Jax. I was expecting your call."

Dick looked around as the kids started throwing paper balls at each other. Eyes wide, he watched as Damian's hands curled up into tight balls, and he appeared to be meditating. That was never a good sign. "Uh. Yeah. This is Dick Grayson. I think your gonna need a substitute in here."

"Dick? Where's Ms. Jax?"

"She yelled something about needing a vacation and then…" Dick trailed off as Damian lurched from his seat. "Damian!"

Damian glanced up at his glaring brother, and slunk over so that he was standing next to him. Apparently he was in trouble.

Dick glared at the rest of the students who were still rambunctious despite seeing one of their own being reprimanded. Dick could hear Mr. Kade demanding to know what was going on. Taking a deep breathe, Dick bellowed, "Enough! You are all going to sit down and be quiet until given further instructions! Just because your teacher left does not give you permission to act like a pack of rabid monkeys!"

Placing the phone back to his ear, Dick took a calming breath. "Now how about a substitute?"

"Sorry Dick, no can do. We're short staffed. But it seems like you've got a good grip on things."

Dick was about to say tell Mr. Kade that no, he did not have a good grip on things when the man hung up. Dick glared at the phone. He was never going out to have drinks with the man again.

Turning to face the rabid monkeys, otherwise known as Damian's classmates, Dick said, "Hello. My name is Mr. Grayson, and it appears that I will be your substitute today."

Shooing Damian back to his seat, Dick gave the class a grin. Only Damian would be able to figure out that it was fake, and that he rather be with Bruce after the man got out of a unnecessarily long meeting with Lex Luthor and was being less than friendly. "Does anyone have any questions for me?"

A girl with pigtails raised her hand. Dick remembered her biting someone in the earlier chaos. "Are you Damian the Demon's brother?"

Dick sighed at Damian's proud look at the nickname. Only his younger brother would find a nickname that was meant to be insulting to be the highest form of compliment. Well Jason probably would too, but Jason would yell obscenities out of principle.

Remembering that the girl had asked a question, Dick said, "Yes. I am Damian's older brother."

A few kids oohed and awed at the new information. There were a few more mundane questions before the kids seemed to lose interest in him. Not knowing what else to do, Dick went to the computer and opened his Netflix account. "Who wants to watch a movie?"

###

Dick mentally patted himself on the back. He was good at the whole substitute thing. The kids were happily watching _Mulan_. And even Damian did not have a single thing to complain about as he watched the heroine learn how to fight.

In his self-congratulatory haze, he completely forgot to tell Bruce that he was going to be late, well later, to work. A fact that he was reminded of when he got an angry text.

 **Bruce: Where are you? If you were anyone else I would have fired you by now.**

 **Dick: Oops. Funny story…**

 **Bruce: Start talking**

 **Dick: It's a long story…**

 **Bruce: I have time. I had to cancel my meetings because SOMEONE decided not to show up today**

 **Dick: For the record, I would've been on time…**

 **Bruce: Dick. Start. Talking.**

 **Dick: Well Alfred sent me to the boys' school to give Jason his lunch and exchange it for Damian's**

 **Dick: When I got there, they were short staffed, so they wanted me to deliver it**

 **Dick: Which was no problem, except Jason decided not to show up for another hour**

 **Dick: So then me and J switch, but I realize that Jason has Tim's lunch**

 **Dick: So I steal J's coffee and head to Tim's class where I used said coffee to wake him up**

 **Dick: Tim and I switched and I went to Damian's class**

 **Dick: No problem, everything goes fine until I deliver the file that Mr. Kade wanted me to give Lil D's teacher**

 **Dick: She totally freaks and leaves**

 **Dick: I call the Mr. Kade and guess what? He assigns me to watch a bunch of rabid monkeys!**

 **Bruce: Rabid monkeys?**

Dick sighed in relief. Bruce was asking a question! Hope was not lost, perhaps Bruce would not castrate him at the end of the day!

 **Dick: The kids started acting up as soon as Ms. Jax left. Damian was about to pounce on some poor unsuspecting kid**

 **Bruce: What's that got to do with rabid monkeys?**

 **Dick: They were acting like rabid monkeys. Duh.**

 **Bruce: So you're a teacher now?**

 **Dick: Only the coolest sub ever**

 **Bruce: You should have called me and let me know what was happening**

 **Dick: In my defense, I was trying to keep Damian from murdering one of his classmates, and after that, I let the relief wash over me and lull me into a false sense of accomplishment**

 **Bruce: ?**

 **Dick: Damian didn't murder kid = Dick too relieved to think of other responsibilities**

 **Bruce: Fine. Just let me know next time so I don't plot your murder in more detail than I care to admit**

Dick shuddered. Why did Bruce have to tell him that? _To keep you from ever leaving him in the dark again._ Dick hated it when the voice in his head had answers to questions that should remain unanswerable. And even more so, he hated the way his fingers trembled slightly as he typed his reply. In his defense, Bruce was the Goddamn Batman. And even though Nightwing had been dealing with the man for years, he was still slightly unnerving and terrifying when he was truly angry.

 **Dick: Deal**

###

Dick wasn't sure what round of _Hangman_ they were on. All he knew was that he had a new respect for substitute teachers. He wasn't really qualified to try and teach them something, so he had decided to be the fun babysitter and play games, watch movies, and read a few books out loud to the class.

But he was tired, and kept surreptitiously glancing at his phone. Counting down the minutes until the final bell rang and he could leave. He didn't care what Bruce would think, he was going straight home and taking a nap. Or maybe falling into a coma. He couldn't remember being this tired before.

When the bell did finally ring, ten whole minutes later, Dick waited for everyone to leave before closing the door behind him and Damian. Much to his immense relief, the door locked, which meant that Dick could head to the office and yell at Mr. Kade. And terminate their friendship. Friends don't put friends in situations like that. Only best friends were allowed that privilege.

On the way to the office, Jason and Tim sidled up next to him. Seeing Dick's raised eyebrow they both shrugged. "Demon Brat texted us. Told us that you were stuck here as a sub." Tim explained. Jason meanwhile, was glaring at anyone who so much looked in their direction. It wasn't everyday that you saw all four Wayne children in one place.

Reaching the office, Dick didn't bother with decorum, he slammed the door open and walked in like he owned the place. Considering who his father was, it was possible.

Mr. Kade came out of his office with an amused look on his face that immediately vanished the second he saw the four unimpressed Wayne's.

"Do I look like I have the qualifications to be a substitute to you? Or for that matter a babysitter? I'm not an idiot, I know you made me deliver the file with the intention of me staying and babysitting the class when Ms. Jax declared she needed a mental health vacation."

Mr. Kade crossed his arms, but said nothing. There was nothing to say, Dick had pretty much summed it up.

Seeing that he was correct, Dick's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I had four meetings today that were cancelled last second because of you. Do you know how much money that could have cost us if Bruce wasn't able to charm them into reschedualing last minute?"

Mr. Kade scoffed and muttered something about rich kids and money addictions. Dick's dug his fingernails into his hands to keep himself from saying something he'd regret. How had he had drinks with this guy?

"We donate a lot of money to this school, and believe it or not, it is not all a bribe to prevent you from expelling my brothers."

There was a distinct grumbling from behind him, but Dick didn't bother turning around. They all knew it was true, even if they would never admit it out loud.

Mr. Kade seemed to realize how much trouble he had just potentially given the school financially. "I'm sorry Dick, it was only meant to be a joke. You handle your brothers so well that I assumed you could handle a room full of rugrats."

Dick eyed the man before turning around and starting for the door. "I'm no fool Mr. Kade. And please call me Richard. Only my friends call me Dick."

With that, Dick disappeared out of the office, only mildly concerned that his brothers did not follow him. Shrugging to himself, Dick walked to his bike. His brothers could handle themselves. But just so that they didn't worry, Dick sent out a text.

 **Dick: Alfred will pick you guys up. Going home. Need a nap. Zzzzzz**

Pocketing his phone, Dick jumped on his bike and raced towards the manor, making a quick pit stop at the bakery that Bruce liked so much. Bruce had to forgive him after he presented him with a cake.

###

Jason glanced at his phone before showing it to his brothers. So far, they had exchanged a staring contest with Mr. Kade. The man had been amused at first, but seemed to be growing more and more flustered and frustrated.

Jason broke the silence. "Tim, Damian, you wanna know what I heard when Dick told this guy that they weren't friends?"

Tim shrugged and Damian scoffed. "I'm sure you will regale us with your opinion no matter what my stance on the matter is, Todd."

Jason rolled his eyes at Damian's tone. Kid was a brat. "I heard Dick declare open season on him." Jason jerked his thumb at Mr. Kade for emphasis. "No more disappointed looks and the whole 'I expected better from you' speech."

A vicious smirk crept its way up Damian's face. It was was truly terrifying how violent that boy could make a simple expression look. "I stand corrected Todd. That is fascinating. I believe that I understood his words the same way."

Mr. Kade looked at Tim, as if expecting him to talk some sense into his brothers. Didn't he know that the only topic they could agree on was Dick?

Tim tilted his head to the side innocently. "Jason, I don't think that there was any other way to interpret those words."

Mr. Kade gulped. He was completely and utterly screwed.

###

Bruce walked into the door only to have a cake thrust into his face. "I bought cake. So you have to forgive me now!"

Bruce wasn't sure how that logic worked, but he could work with it. He had forgiven Dick the moment he had started rambling through text messages. How his son managed to convey the kicked puppy expression through texts, he would never know.

"Deal."

"Don't you wanna read it?"

Dick bounced around as Bruce carefully opened the box. There, was his favorite cake from his favorite baker, with the words ' _I solemnly swear to never accidently become a substitute again'_ in delicate cursive.

Bruce chuckled and pulled Dick into a one armed hug, carefully balancing the cake in the other hand.

Dick pulled away and started to back away. "Oh. And you might be receiving a call in the next few days about the boys."

Bruce stilled. Eyes narrowing at Dick's retreating form, he growled out, "Why?"

Dick chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck, still walking backwards. "Well I might of said something that they might interpret as me declaring open season on Mr. Kade."

Bruce sighed and rubbed his eyes. When he looked up, Dick was gone. He better start writing the check for the damages that would undoubtedly come within the next few days. That and the whole, 'Please keep my sons enrolled even though they deserve way worse than expulsion.' Why couldn't they all be a little more like Dick and charm the staff into thinking that they were perfect angels when the student body knew that they were actually the devil in disguise. It would make his life just a little bit easier. And prevent him from being the main beneficiary of Gotham Academy.

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 **A/N: So that's 50 whole chapters! Go me. Please review for the sake of reviewing the 50th chapter if that makes any sense to anyone.**

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 **Okay. So I need a way to make money, but as many of you know, I'm a student and ill so I need really flexible hours. Anyone have any ideas? I figured that there are hundreds of people viewing this daily and maybe someone out there is in a similar situation, or is just smarter than me when it comes to this. Like I said, I couldn't think of anything but I figured that the internet is a vast place and maybe you guys would think of something I didn't. Thanks for all your help and ideas!**

 **XOXO**

 **Nickijae**


	51. The Joy of Cross Dimensional Travel

**The Joy of Cross Dimensional Travel**

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 **Jason has a dirty mouth**

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Jason woke up with pit in his stomach. He recognized the feeling immediately. It was the same feeling he had when he had traveled the multiverse. It was the same damn feeling. Which meant he was in a different universe. Jason did not believe in coincidences. And even if he did, this was too big of one for him to not to be suspicious at the very least.

Looking around, Jason noted that he was wearing his Red Hood uniform and that he had no idea where he was. The uniform would be useful if he was in fact in another dimension. Taking off his helmet, he slipped a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket. Sliding them on his face, he allowed himself to take a moment to feel grateful that his costume made him look like a biker. With his helmet tucked under his arm, people would assume that Jason was a motorcyclist and not some vigilante.

Frowning, Jason headed in a random direction. First things first, he had to figure out where he was. What city. What year. What Earth. Then, he had to figure out whether or not his brothers joined him on this impromptu trip. Knowing his luck, they did. He had to find them before they got themselves killed or worse. He was the multiverse expert in the family, his brothers were likely to screw something up. Especially Damian. He needed to find the kid first. And he had to figure out how he got here in the first place. Wherever here was.

###

The first thing Jason did was swipe a police radio. That way, if one of his brothers got in trouble, he'd be the first to know. He used one of Tim's gizmo thingies to modify the scanner so that he would only get an alert if it matched the description of Nightwing, Red Robin, or Robin. If he was in costume, than so were his brothers. On second thought, he added the descriptions of Dick, Tim, and Damian. He couldn't remember how he ended up here, and there was always the possibility that they swiped clothes to appear normal.

The second thing Jason did was go to a bar. People always seemed more loose lipped there, and Jason might be able to gleam some information without raising any suspicions. For an hour, Jason sipped casually at a beer, pretending to be buzzed and allowing the people around him to relax. He learned that he was in Gotham and that it was the same year as his Gotham. He also learned that while there was a Batman, there had never been a Robin. Meaning that Bruce never adopted any of them and never conceived a child with Talia al Ghul.

Jason leaned back in his chair. If Dick never became a child hero, that meant that there would be no other sidekicks in this dimension. Dick had been the first, and he had been the trend setter. Without him, Ollie would have never adopted Roy, and Barry wouldn't have taken Wally to his lab.

A darker thought entered Jason's mind and he fingered one of his guns in contemplation. Without child heroes, there would be nothing holding the Justice League back from being more vicious and brutal. Dick had once told him that Batman had been considerably more violent, and that had stopped once Robin had started making a nightly appearance. They would have to be weary of this Justice League. If they were to be perceived as a threat, they wouldn't be kind because they were young. A fact that made it all the more imperative that he find his brothers before they found trouble or the Justice League.

As if magically summoned, the police radio crackled to life. Jason quickly threw down some cash on the bar and ran into the cold night. "Dispatch we got at 10-10. That is a fight in progress. Looks to be a group of thugs fighting a kid."

"Does the kid need medical assistance?"

"No, but the thugs do."

"Wait for backup. The kid could be armed and dangerous."

"10-4."

Jason used his grappling gun to launch himself to the roof. Taking his sunglasses off, he put his helmet back on. The last thing he needed was for someone to recognize Jason Todd. Granted, who knew if this world's Jason Todd was still alive let alone recognizable to the cops.

He couldn't think about that now. He had to rescue the kid. Who was most definitely Damian. He didn't know any other kid who could take down thugs. Especially, in a world with no Robins.

###

Jason cursed his bad luck. Of course he was too late to get Damian at the scene of the crime. So he was forced to go and try to kidnap the kid from the police station. From what he could tell from the outside of the building, it was the same as the Police Station in his Gotham. The only problem would be getting past all the police officers. If Tim were here, he'd make most of the officers disappear on a fake emergency so that they could slip in undetected during the mayhem. But Tim wasn't here, and Jason didn't have his talent for hacking. But he did have a talent for explosives.

Finding where to place them was the tricky part. It had to be close enough to the station, where a majority of the police officers would leave, but it had to be far enough that neither Batman nor the Commissioner would grow suspicious. It also had to be far enough away that Jason could grab Damian and leave long before any cops came back. Then there was the fact that he had to make the explosives do damage without civilian deaths. And finally, there were his two missing brothers. Jason really hoped that they were smart enough not to investigate the explosion and get themselves caught by this dimension's Batman. That was the last thing he needed.

Deciding that the placement of the explosives was as good as it was going to get on short notice, Jason returned to the roof across from the police department. Lying down so that nobody would see him, Jason flipped the switch and watched as five explosions went off in a row around ten blocks from their current location at an abandoned warehouse.

Jason watched in tense silence as cops steamed out of the building and jumped into their awaiting cars. When he was sure that no more cops were going to leave, Jason rappelled himself down into the alley. From there, he casually walked across the street and into the building, helmet once again tucked under his arm and sunglasses in place.

Nobody noticed him as he strolled on back to where the holding cells were. Jason almost felt the need to draw attention to himself to prove a point. He was armed and dangerous, and literally able to walk to where they held their prisoners with no hassle.

As he rounded the corner, Jason froze. There was a cop standing in front of the cell holding Damian. On closer inspection, Damian was actually acting as a lookout as the cop picked the lock. What the hell?

Jason strode purposely forward. The kid's eyes widened and he hissed at the cop. The cop turned around to reveal...Dick?

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Jaybird! I'm so glad you're okay!"

Dick barely turned to greet him, his focus completely on the lock in front of him. With an audible click, the heavy cell door swung open and Damian stepped out. "Not bad Grayson. Though I could've done it in half the time."

"That's nice Lil D, but we really gotta get outa here."

Jason followed behind Dick as the man led them out the door. They weren't lucky. A balding cop stopped them right in front of the door. "What are you doing? Who gave you permission to let the kid out? And who the hell is that!"

For the first time in a long time, Jason didn't have a lie ready on his tongue. Dick, fortunately did. Pointing in Jason's direction, Dick gave the cop his most charismatic smile and used his most agreeable tone. "That's Detective Jay Peters of the Bludhaven Police Department, and his son Davie. Peters has had Davie in all the martial arts he could afford because Bludhaven is so nasty. As for permission, here's the transfer papers. They just got faxed over. I was gonna walk them to their car, but I'd be more than happy to do something else if you need me to, Sir."

The cop seemed to like the respect that Dick was giving him and nodded authoritatively. "No. Walk them to their car. Repost to me when you get back."

"10-4 Sir."

Jason sighed so loudly the second that they were out of the building and once again traveling through the shadows, that he thought he might deflate like a balloon. He couldn't believe that Dick had managed to talk his way out of that one. He would never again doubt his brother.

Speaking of which, Jason checked Dick and Damian out from head to toe to make sure that they weren't sporting any injuries. He was turning into such a fucking mother hen. To his relief, neither had any noteworthy wounds.

Dick broke the silence. "Is it safe to assume that you were responsible for the explosions tonight?"

Jason sniffed. "Is it safe to assume you stole a police uniform?"

Duck blinked in shock. "Well more like I borrowed it from a friend of Matches Malone. Apparently he's a corrupt cop."

"No fucking way. You stole from Batman!"

Dick wrinkled his nose and started the take off the uniform, revealing the Nightwing costume underneath. Folding the uniform expertly, Dick tapped a pattern into the side of the trash bin. A small section of the alley wall slid open and Jason watched with his jaw hanging open as Dick shoved the uniform inside right before the wall slammed shut.

"I prefer the term 'borrow'. Besides, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, and it was for a good cause."

Damian scoffed, but did not make a move to disagree. He was that good cause after all. "Grayson? Where did you get the transfer paperwork?"

"Well I was in the process of making it for myself when I heard the explosions. I assumed it was Jason and that he was making a distraction. You being Jason's son, and from another police department made a better cover story. I didn't want to get caught sneaking my own kid out, as it would seem suspicious. And if they caught me they might of looked closer into me, and since neither Tim nor Babs made the background, it wouldn't hold up."

Jason blinked in surprise. That was insightful. Way more thought went into that than into Dick's usual plans. "Good thinking. Now we just need to find Tim. I managed to get some info, but I assume by now Tim has managed to get more."

Dick nodded seriously. "I know where he'd go. Follow me."

###

"We're at the fucking library. Seriously?"

Dick rolled his eyes at Jason before sending a grappling line to the roof. His brothers followed his example, and found Dick already opening a skylight. From there, each brother dropped down to the ground floor. Dick jerked his head to the side, indicating for the other two boys to follow him.

Jason cleared his throat softly. "Why are you so certain that he'll be here?"

"We did 'what if' scenarios once when we were on a stake out. Being tossed into an alternate dimension came up. Tim said that he would break into the library because he could use their computers to hack into the Justice League or its equivalent. Also, he said that there might be some texts that would indicate what Earth he was on."

Jason nodded. From a tactical standpoint it made sense to gather as much information as possible before engaging the enemy. They rounded the corner, and a faint glow from a computer became visible. Approaching with slightly more caution, Jason walked up to the raven haired boy at the computer. Dick spun the boy around, and when they registered that it was in fact Tim, Dick tackled him for a hug.

"I'm so glad that you're okay Timmy! I was worried that you might deviate from your original plan when you figured out that we were here too!"

For the first time, Jason noticed how much stress Dick seemed to be under. He had hid it well, but there was no mistaking that he lost a huge weight off of his shoulders when they found Tim.

"Dick, you said the first thing you'd do was check if the three of us managed to come with you. I knew that you would be looking for us, and the best place I could be was the place we had once talked about."

Tim patted Dick's head awkwardly when the man squeezed him tighter. "Dick if you could get off of me, I could tell you what I found."

Jason straightened the smirk falling of his face. For a moment, he had been so caught up in everything that he had forgotten where they were. Or more accurately, where they weren't. "I found some stuff out from the locals too. It seems like the date's the same, but on this Earth, Dick never became a junior hero. None of us did. And without Dick setting the trend, the League never got partners."

Tim nodded sagely. "From what I can tell, the League's more violent and influential here too. It's also way bigger."

Damian's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean? The League is the League, how can it be bigger?"

Tim ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know, it just is. There's more members and even part-time members. Batman seems to be a part-time member, though he is one of the founders. He's different in this world."

Dick leaned against a bookcase, a haunted look on his face. "Let me guess, he's more violent, toes the line between hero and villain a little too much for the League to feel comfortable around him. He brutally beats even the pettiest of criminals."

Tim stifled a gasp. "How'd you know? It's like Jason's death all over again!"

"Because that's how he used to be, before I came along. Before Robin."

###

It was five a.m. and Jason really wanted to go to bed. They hadn't had much luck figuring out what Earth they were from and what Earth they were on currently. And with daylight coming soon, they really had to leave and find a place to crash.

"Guys...I think I got it."

Jason's head snapped over to where Tim was blinking owlishly at his computer screen. Jason couldn't read the barrage of random symbols, but if Tim did, then their day was saved. "Tell us what you got Timbo."

Tim started talking in gibberish and by the looks of it, Damian was just as ready to hit him as Jason was. Dick however, ruined it by placing both hands on Tim's shoulders and saying, "Breathe Timmy. Take a deep breath and start again. This time, in English. And make it for dummies. I couldn't understand a single word you were saying."

Tim took a deep breath before calmly saying, "I think I have it. I'm pretty sure that this is Earth Prime, or Earth 1. From what I can gather, we are from Earth 2. The difference between these worlds is just one event. Batman goes to the circus. From there he gains Robin. Robin balances him out and makes him more of a team player allowing him to be a full fledged member of the Justice League. With Batman as a member, they don't take in as many heroes because Batman is so suspicious of everyone. Robin starts the trend of child heroes, which leads to all the various teams that were built. Point being, Dick here, he changed everything."

###

They were sitting in a crappy motel room trying to figure out their next move. They had been lucky that Damian had just replenished his emergency cash supply and had a little over one thousand dollars so that they were able to get a room and still have plenty of leftover cash. Dick had insisted that they take a nap first so that they wouldn't be tired and therefore could perform at maximum capacity. Jason could see that his mother henning was going to be thing, and made a mental note to make sure that they took care of Dick too. Otherwise, his brother would take the brunt of everything for them.

So after a grand total of six hours of sleep (multiverse travel takes it out of you), the brothers were eating snacks from a vending machine and debating their next move. Of course, there was only one real choice of action that they could take.

"We need to get the Justice League on board. I can't create a machine without their supplies or their computer system."

Jason hated the fact that Tim had a point. The problem would definitely be making the Justice League think that they weren't a threat.

Dick bit his lower lip. "You think if you hack the zeta beams and get us up there, that they would notice us? I mean, you said that there were a lot more heroes than in our world."

"I can get us up there, but Batman will notice the hack. And he'll most likely come up to check it out. That or lock down the Watchtower."

Jason's mind whirred. What could they do? There was no way that the Justice League would help them, there were too many holes in their story. They could probably tell them the whole truth because they were on a different Earth and therefore would not mess up the time stream, but who would believe them? And he was not going to let a martian in his head. Not after the last time. "If we get up there, what do you think our chances of going unnoticed are?"

Tim shook his head. "Dick might be able to get away with it, but he'd still be considered extremely young. You might be able to get away with it with your helmet on, but there would be no way that they wouldn't notice me and Damian."

Dick ran a hand through his hair. "And we need Tim up there at the very least. He's the only one of us who can make the machine let alone read the information that he needs."

Damian sniffed. "Why don't we go to Father? If we have him do a paternity test, at the very least he will know that I am his blood son. I will verify our story."

Dick offered the boy a sad smile. "That's true Lil D, but he would also see where the other half of your DNA comes from. No doubt his computer will tell him that you are the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul. That will be detrimental in our case. Our Bruce might know that you switched sides, but this one doesn't."

Jason eyed the boy. He looked lost before a mask of indifference slipped firmly in place. Sometimes, Jason forgot that Damian was just a kid. Despite all the grown-up words and death threats, he was a lost little boy just like the rest of them had been when Bruce took them in.

Tim cleared his throat hesitantly. "By now, our Bruce is looking for us. Can't we just wait for him to figure it out?"

Dick paused for a moment before shaking his head. "No. We don't know what kind of evidence we left behind. Hell, we don't even remember how we got here. For all we know, Bruce thinks we're dead."

Jason frowned. Could their Bruce handle thinking all four of his sons were dead? From what Tim had told him, Bruce had barely handled it when he thought Jason was dead. If all four of his sons were to die at once, what would he do? He wasn't going to wait around and find out. "Why don't we just walk in like we own the place? The founders have a weekly meeting tonight. We walk in and demand help. They don't give it, we work together and kick their asses before escaping. We can hide in Gotham. The League's too arrogant to think that we're hiding in one of their cities."

Dick nodded grimly. "I think that may be our only option."

There was something unsettling about the look on Dick's face. Like he was planning the best way to take down the whole Justice League on his own. Like he was preparing to take down his father to protect his brothers. And then it hit Jason like a freight train. They might actually have to take down Bruce, immobilize him, so that they can escape. It wasn't going to be a friendly sparring match, it was going to be an all out battle. And Dick was planning to do it on his own.

Jason steeled himself. He would prevent anyone from interfering with Dick's fight. He would watch his brother's back. And he would make sure that his younger brothers would not watch Dick take down Bruce. And later, if Dick actually did have to take down Bruce, he would offer his shoulder to cry on without judgement. Because there was no way that Dick would come out of that battle emotionally sound. And while Jason would gladly take the responsibility away from Dick, Dick was their best shot at winning.

Jason pulled himself away from the exchange with Dick to refocus on Tim who had never stopped talking. "We should use the time we have to restock our belts and get some better food in us. We should also get some more rest. We're going to have a long night."

Jason nodded his head. "Tim, you should get the food. Nobody will recognize you. I'll go to where my old suppliers are in our world. Maybe we'll get lucky. The two D's can start making fake ID's for us in case this goes south."

Tim nodded before shaking his head. "Wait. I'm still in uniform. Am I supposed to walk around town like this?"

Dick sighed noisily. "I would never ever usually recommend this, but go steal something from the next room over. You can give it back later."

Tim nodded, and all four brothers set off to do their respective tasks. They had a deadline to meet, and they needed to be prepared for the worst possible scenario. They had a home to get back to. And nothing was going to get in their way.

###

Jason strapped the extra magazines he had bought to his to the inside of his jacket. Then he added his new gun to the holster on his thigh. Looking up, he watched as Damian experimentally swung his new katana before placing it back in its sheath strapped across his back. Tim meanwhile, was repacking his utility belts and fingering the shard of kryptonite that Jason had managed to acquire despite the short notice. Dick was checking out the battery packs for his escrima sticks and had a grim look on his face as he strapped throwing knives and a bo staff to his body.

Jason noted that they all had yellow paint packs secured to their bodies and that they each had some sort of flaming explosive that he had managed to make. They needed every advantage they could take. And Jason for one, wasn't sorry that they might be 'cheating'.

"You guys ready?"

Dick nodded, the frown on his face leaving no traces of his usual grin. "Let's do this."

They all followed Tim quietly to the zeta beam. As Tim hacked, Dick seemed to be debating something. "Guys. If this goes south. And I mean really south. I'll cause a distraction. You guys run to the hangar and get out of there."

Damian scoffed. "We're not leaving you behind Grayson. You are the one that forced me to watch Disney movies in order to establish morals. If I remember correctly, Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind."

Dick sniffled before straightening. "That might be, but sometimes you need to leave someone behind momentarily so that you can regroup. I fully expect you to retrieve me later, but I'm the eldest, and that means it's my responsibility to make sure you guys are safe."

Before Tim and Damian could argue further, Jason grunted. "We got it. But I won't stand in as eldest forever. You'll have to come back and take the mantle."

"I'll always come back Jaybird. As long as I'm breathing, you can bet your inheritance that I'll be fighting as hard as possible to come back to you guys."

Tim wiped at his masked eyes. "The zeta beam is ready. No more names, it's time to be heroes."

Dick, Nightwing, nodded before pulling them all into a group hug. For the first time since he came back from the dead, Red Hood went into the embrace willingly. Whatever happened next, would probably be far from pleasant.

###

Nightwing forced himself to exhibit an air of confidence and casualness as they walked down the halls of the Watchtower. Heroes kept stopping to stare at them, presumably because they were so young. Nightwing really hoped it wasn't because of some other reason that they had yet to discover. They were already going in blind, he hoped they weren't going in deaf too.

When they arrived at the door that they knew housed the weekly meetings that Batman was undoubtedly attending, they paused. Nightwing stared at the door that held their fate. "You guys ready for this?"

Red Robin drew in a sharp breath. "Not really."

Red Hood cracked his neck and jumped on the balls of his feet, fingering his weapons. "Too bad. Let's get the fucking show on the road."

Nightwing nodded his head once and Red Robin entered the key code. The door swung open and the four brothers walked in. It was time to meet their fate head on.

###

When the brothers walked in, Superman was just in the middle of saying, "For our next order of business–"

"That would be us. Anything else can wait." Nightwing really wanted to facepalm. Way to make a good first impression Red Hood! It wasn't like they were in a room full of the most powerful people on the planet whose help they needed to get back home. Oh wait, they were.

Giving each of his brothers a glare that clearly said, _I'll do the talking_ , Nightwing stepped forward, aware of how each of the heroes in the room tensed at his movements. Even more aware of his brothers tensing behind him. He needed to diffuse the situation fast.

Drawing all the skills that he had learned at his tenure at Wayne Corp, Nightwing gave a charming smile. "What my brother meant to say was that we would greatly appreciate it if you gave us your time to help resolve an issue."

Batman glared fiercely. If Nightwing hadn't been on the receiving end of it more times than he'd like to admit, he might of (definitely) cowered. Or wet his pants. Fifty-fifty chance really. Point being, he was immune, which irked Batman, if the deepening of his frown was anything to go on. "There are plenty of heroes outside if you need help. Leave. We're busy."

Nightwing ignored the dismissal and the pain it brought to his heart. "I never said we needed heroes. We need the Justice League. Or more accurately, their resources. And you're the only ones we trust with something so big."

Superman cocked his head to the side, his eyes narrowing. "I can't see your faces. Your masks are lined with lead."

Robin sniffed. "We are not imbeciles or amateurs. Of that, I can assure you."

Nightwing really wanted to send Robin a reprimanding look, but Batman would pounce on any sign of weakness, of disunity. Batman stood up slowly. "You are not in the League's database of known members or allies. Who the hell are you, and how did you get up here?"

Shit. Nightwing knew he was forgetting something. He opened his mouth to talk, but Wonder Woman beat him to the punch, literally. Nightwing panicked and threw her over his shoulder and to Damian, who already had his sword out. Great.

"I suppose there's no way for us to talk this out?" Batman's punch aimed at his face told him the answer to that question.

"Nightwing! You focus on the Old Man! We got everyone else! Don't worry, we got your back!"

Nightwing yelled a thank you out to Red Hood as he backflipped out of the way of Batman's attack. Drawing out his escrima sticks, he twirled them around his hands as he circled Batman. His brothers could handle the rest of the founding members, his focus needed to be on defeating his father.

At the same time, both men launched at each other and began an intricate dance. Nightwing managed to get in more hits as he was used to Batman's fighting style, whereas the man was not used to his. That wasn't to say they weren't evenly matched. The few hits Batman did get in managed to break his ribs, and he was pretty sure that he had torn something in his shoulder.

Springing back, they circled each other again. "You're wondering who I am. Who taught me."

"Yes."

"I'm looking at him."

Batman lunged forward experimentally, and watched as Nightwing flipped out of the way gracefully. "I think I would remember having an apprentice."

Nightwing wiped away the trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth. "Funny. I thought you would remember having four sons. Guess we're both wrong."

Nightwing lunged forward at his shocked father. It was time to finish this.

###

Red Hood surveyed the battle as he fought Wonder Woman. She had been trying to lunge at Nightwing when he had tackled her, bringing her undivided attention onto him. Good. She wouldn't be tempted to beat on his younger brothers then. Not that they couldn't handle themselves. Red Robin had already used the kryptonite to bring down Superman and Robin had used the yellow paint pack to neutralize Green Lantern's power. Now they were fighting off Aquaman, Flash, and Martian Manhunter. He wished the older heroes luck. Red Robin and Robin might be physically young and small but they were vicious little fuckers. Not to mention lethal and brilliant. A bad combination for whoever was on their bad side.

Returning all his focus to Wonder Woman, he exchanged his guns for a hunting knife. Guns would get nowhere with those stupid bracers. Now, if he could get her to use her lasso on him, he could tie her up.

When she brought out her lasso, he waited till the last second to dive out of the way before flipping back on his feet, simultaneously taking one of his guns out of its holster and grabbing the lasso. From there, he yanked on the lasso hard while shooting at her. Wonder Woman had no choice but let go of the lasso if she wanted to protect herself from the bullets.

Smirking at the lasso, Red Hood muttered 'sweet' before he caught Wonder Woman with it and tied her up like a wild hog. There was no way that she was going to be able to escape the knots that he tied, even if the lasso wasn't magic.

Red Hood didn't take time to revel in his victory. He started shooting at Martian Manhunter to draw his attention away from Red Robin who was having a hard time taking down both Flash and and the green alien at the same time. The Demon Brat seemed to be holding his own against Aquaman, and Red Hood got the distinct feeling that the boy was toying with the hero, like a perverse version of cat and mouse.

Red Hood really hated that his bullets did no damage on the Martian, it only seemed to make him angry. At least his attention was on him though. He could feel the Martian trying to get into his head, and Jason tried to push him out, knowing that it would make Martian Manhunter more curious. When he could feel the telepathic touch deep in his mind, Red Hood let go. All the pain, the suffering, the agony, the rage, the madness, the heart-wrenching feeling of being replaced, all the feelings that the Lazarus Pit had created or amplified were released. The Martian promptly passed out, and Red Hood took a moment to try and collect his feelings.

A moment that he did not have on the battlefield. Aquaman was apparently tired of being toyed with, and launched his attack on the unsuspecting Red Hood. He was sent flying across the room, and was caught by a foam pellet that Red Robin had managed to throw down just in time. Red Hood watched as the hazy figures moved across the room. Maybe, it was a good time for a nap. He closed his eyes, and promptly entered a void of nothingness.

###

Robin's eyes snapped back to Aquaman and a feral look took over his face. He would pay for harming Red Hood. A second rate hero should have bowed down at the feet of Red Hood's skill, not launch an attack on an unaware combatant. There was no honor in that.

Robin circled Aquaman, his katana well balanced in his hand. Twisting it experimentally, Robin waited for the perfect opening. As soon as Aquaman moved his trident slightly to the side, Robin launched. He used all the skills that his brothers had taught him. He fought dirty, like Todd. He fought smart, like Drake. And when he had Aquaman disarmed and at his feet, he showed mercy like Grayson, and only knocked the man out.

Turning, he watched as Red Robin pulled hard at an invisible string and immediately Flash was trapped in a delicate cage of wires that Robin knew were razor sharp. Before they had been activated, they were like the wispy strands of silk from a spider. Inconsequential. Red Robin then proceeded to throw a foam pellet at Flash's feet so that he would not be able to vibrate his way free.

Robin watched as his father fell before Nightwing's feet. The man tried to stand, but Nightwing knocked him out with a brutal roundhouse kick to the head. Nightwing gave them each a nod before walking over to Red Hood. Robin couldn't help but notice the slight shake in Nightwing's hands as he reached out to pull of Red Hood's helmet. Was he injured? Or was it something else that he couldn't understand?

Red Hood groaned from his position in the foam before trying to sit up. Seeing that his brother was okay, Robin turned around to help Red Robin tie up the rest of the League. There would be no surprises when they woke up. And if they were foolish enough to try, Robin would demonstrate why there was nobody foolish enough to mess with the Bat Clan on their Earth. He would make Nightwing proud of him. He could guarantee it.

###

When the heroes began waking up from their naps, Nightwing had just finished inspecting Red Hood for signs of a concussion. His younger brother was more than a little annoyed with him at that point, so Nightwing promised to leave him alone as long as Red Hood kept an ice pack on his head.

Red Hood had grudgingly agreed, so Nightwing turned to where Red Robin was plugged into the main computer system and searching for information on getting them home. Drawing a blank on what all the symbols dancing across the screen meant, Nightwing gave Red Robin a quick hair ruffle before checking on Robin who was staring out the large windows.

They stood in companionable silence for a moment before Superman ruined it. "What do you want? You kept all of us alive, and you're keeping the kryptonite far enough away to immobilize me but not kill me."

Nightwing sniffed. His ribs and shoulder hurt, and he was not in the mood to discuss things with the League anymore. Not since they hurt his brothers. "I would've told you what we wanted, but somebody got all punch happy. I'm not in the mood anymore, we'll figure it out ourselves."

There was a small part of him that felt glee when they all turned to glare at Wonder Woman. The rest of him was just tired. And sad. And in pain. Really, he was feeling everything. He needed a vacation. Or some snuggle time with Bruce. His Bruce. Not this fake Earth 1 Bruce.

Nightwing shook his head and tried to dispel the thoughts of cuddles and hugs and soothing words. Maybe he had a bit of a concussion. It would certainly seem so with the way he couldn't get himself to focus.

Red Robin walked up to him before he could do the mental 'Do I have a concussion or not' checklist. "Uh Nightwing? I know you said that we'd do this on our own, but I need B's help at the very least. Barry's help wouldn't hurt either."

The words were whispered, but he could feel Batman's penetrative stare. Somehow the man knew that he was needed. Nightwing ran a hand through his messy hair. Guess he really did have to explain things.

"My name is Nightwing, and these are my brothers Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin. We're from a different version of Earth where from we can tell, there's only one difference. Me."

Barry nodded his head, the only thing that he could move from his foamy prison. "I'll bite. But what does your existence on the other Earth change?"

Nightwing looked each of them in the eye, a grim frown on his face. "Everything. I change everything."

###

"So on your Earth, there are child heroes, all because of you? And the League is smaller because Batman has a bigger role in it? And everyone is less brutal? I don't buy it."

Red Hood rubbed his face as Hal Jordan talked. Seriously, this guy was driving him nuts. Couldn't he be all agreeable instead of making their lives more difficult? "Listen up you fucking Flashlight. I'm an expert in multiverse travel, and the only thing that is consistent, is that things don't make fucking sense. I saw a world where you guys were evil and your villains were heroes." Pointing at Batman for emphasis, he said, "I was in a world where he died, instead of his parents. You wanna know what happened there? Because it wasn't fucking pretty. His mother became the fucking Joker and his father became the gun toting version of Batman that had a serious alcohol problem. Point is, the multiverse is seriously fucked up and nothing is going to make sense."

Nightwing banged his head softly against the wall. "Thank you Hood for that lovely explanation. But this isn't that jacked up. Everyone in this room saw the connection I had with my father and wanted that for themselves. We're heroes. Most of us don't have real connections in our lives. You guys all wanted something real. You wanted a companion in your loneliness. Someone who would make the darkness you deal with on a daily basis a little bit brighter."

When he saw all of the room's occupants staring at him, Nightwing blushed slightly and shrugged. "That's what Dad said anyways."

Green Lantern stared at him. "With a speech like that, you gotta be Supey's kid."

Nightwing grinned and shook his head. "Actually, Superman's the only one of you who never had a kid partner."

Robin scoffed. "I wish that Kent and that harlot Lane would have children already so that he can stop pestering Father when his 'Bring your child to work day' comes around."

All three of his brothers burst out laughing and Damian preened. He was glad that Nightwing had lost the serious expression. It didn't suit him.

Nightwing wiped a tear from the corner of his mask. "Don't worry Robin. After the last time, Clark requested that either Red Robin or I attend. You and Hood are too much for him to handle."

Barry cocked his head. "So if you guys aren't Superman's kids, whose kids are you? Please don't say you're mine."

Batman growled from his position tied to a chair. "Isn't it obvious? They're mine."

Nightwing grinned at all the shocked expressions. "Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner! Can you guys believe that Bats was the first to have kids? Well if you know his civilian identity it's not really a shock. But he did adopt three out of four, so that has to count for something."

Superman groaned. "That explains so much. Why they knew each of our weaknesses. Why they were able to defeat arguably the most powerful individuals in the world. Why the kid hasn't stopped glaring at me since we started talking."

Nightwing nodded. "Now that we have explained ourselves, think we can let you go without signing up for round two?"

Seeing the nods from the trussed up heroes Nightwing sighed in relief. "Good. Cause Batman broke a few of my ribs and I'm pretty sure that I have a concussion. And I really wanna go home and have post 'you were sent to an alternate dimension' cuddles with Bruce."

Nightwing didn't even notice the shocked look on the League's face, and the slightly nauseated look on on Earth 1 Bruce's face when he mentioned cuddles. Probably because he took that moment to pass out right on top of an unsuspecting Robin.

###

Robin grunted as he took on all of Nightwing's dead weight. He managed to protect his brother's head right before he collapsed under the weight. For a slim man, Nightwing was heavy. Maybe Robin should tell Pennyworth to put him on a diet.

Red Robin came to check for injuries as Red Hood released the heroes from their bonds. When Martian Manhunter made a move to go over to Nightwing, Red Hood grabbed his arm and shook his head. "Don't go into his head. Wingnut might seem all put together and, well, mentally sound, but he's just as messed up as the rest of us. He's just better at hiding it."

Batman looked over from where he stood observing Red Robin. "What made me adopt you boys?"

Red Hood shrugged. "I was stealing the tires off of the Batmobile in Crime Alley. You asked where my parents were, and I told you they were dead. You took me home with you."

Red Robin didn't look up from where he was flashing a light in Nightwing's eyes. The man was still unconscious, so Red Robin had to peel back the eyelid so that he could work. "Things happened, and you were being violent again. Nightwing was the hero of Bludhaven, and Red Hood wasn't available. I figured out your secret identity and went to you. Told you I wanted to be Robin. You agreed, knowing that I would go out on my own without you. You wanted to keep me safe. Later, my mom was murdered and my dad ended up in a coma. You took me in, no questions asked. I was already pretty much living with you at that point anyways."

Red Hood closed his eyes. Red Robin may have tried to sound indifferent about his parents, but he could hear the pain behind the words. If there was one thing that all members of the Bat Clan had in common, it was that their parents were a sore spot.

Robin cleared his throat. "The others are adopted, but I am your blood son. However, I only came to live with you within the last few years. Before that, I was raised by my mother and grandfather. I have come to realize that their methods of parenting were not conventional or correct. You and Nightwing have both worked tirelessly to correct my moral code and make up for my lack of childhood."

Nightwing groaned from his position. "Lil D, I thought you didn't like our Sunday morning cartoon marathons?"

"I don't! However, I can appreciate the gesture."

Giving Batman a loopy smile (Yup. He was definitely concussed), Nightwing admitted, "I watched as my parents were murdered. You were there as a civilian, and even if you had wanted to, there was nothing you could've done. But you comforted me when nobody else knew what to say. And when you found out that my racist social worker had stuck me in Juvie instead of an orphanage, you marched in with an army of lawyers and Agent A. You were my hero long before I figured out that you were Batman."

When Batman looked away, Dick tried not to feel hurt. This wasn't his Batman. He wasn't being rejected. But it sure felt like it. Shaking his head, Dick sat up. "So, will you guys help us get home or not? If our Batman thinks we died, there's no telling what he might do. Not to mention, I have a hot date with Starfire tomorrow, and I really would hate it if I missed that. Mostly because I'd have a stunningly beautiful yet extremely dangerous alien mad at me."

Red Hood's neck snapped up. "Dude. You have a date with Kori? How'd you manage that one?"

Nightwing shrugged playfully. "It might have to do with the fact that I'm over twenty-one."

Red Hood sniffed. "Or because you have the, and I quote, 'Hottest ass in the Justice League.'"

Nightwing blushed a deep red as his brothers laughed at him. What was wrong with them? What was wrong with his Justice League that they actually talked about things like that? He wasn't some prude, but he wasn't really a fan of being objectified either. "Just help Red Robin figure out how we can get home."

His brothers continued to laugh but did as he asked. That brought the League out of their stupor, as they moved around Red Robin and awaited directions. Nightwing sighed. At least they weren't talking about his ass anymore.

###

Nightwing watched as Red Robin built a machine of some sort with Batman and Flash. He wasn't smart enough to keep up, or strong enough to bring the supplies, so he was stuck being bored and watching everyone else. Red Hood was teaching Martian Manhunter the art of Beer Pong, and Robin had somehow managed to procure a sketch pad and was sitting quietly in the corner of the room drawing.

Nightwing's head snapped up when he heard Batman's growl. He watched in a mixture of horror and anger as his father's alternate self slapped Red Robin's hand away from something. He rose on his feet, the anger surrounding him making the temperature of the room lower. Red Hood and Robin both immediately looked up and glanced around uneasily.

"You. Don't. Get. To. Touch. Them." Nightwing knew that he should calm down. That Batman had never responded well to anger. That this wouldn't help them get home. But he couldn't bring himself to care. "You can talk to me however you want. Dismiss me. Yell. For fuck's sake, you could hit me! I don't care. But you don't get to treat them like that. I know that you aren't our Batman. I know I won't get gentle words and caring hugs when I'm upset. I can live with that. But I won't have you make Timmy feel inadequate or replaceable again! I won't allow you to make Jay feel unloved or that his death meant nothing! And I sure as hell will not allow you to make Dami doubt that the other you loves him, or that raising a hand to hit a member of your family is ever okay! I won't allow you to do that to them! They've been through hell, and deserve a whole lot better than that! I'm their brother, and I will protect them. Even if it is from you."

Batman stared at him as his brothers moved to stand next to him. They were a united front, and he could either get on board, or get out of their way. Finally the man nodded, a frown marring his face.

Nightwing sat back down, frowning at the brother's shocked expressions. What did they think? That he was a loyal son that would never point out the faults of his father? Because he would. He would question Bruce time and time again when it came to his brothers. He just never had to.

Superman started floating and looked between the two groups of heroes. Trying to break the frosty silence, he said, "Timmy? Jay? Dami? Are those your names?"

The three boys looked at him for guidance. Nightwing shrugged before taking off his mask. The three boys proceeded to rip off their masks once again allowing them to be the Wayne brothers.

Dick gave a soft smile and held out his hand. "Hi. My name is Richard Grayson, but you can call me Dick." Pointing to each of his brothers individually, he continued. "And as you know these are my brothers Jason, Tim, and Damian. Don't call them by their nicknames, those are only tolerated by family members. Anyone else is likely to get gutted."

Dick had been studying Bruce as he said that. He watched as recognition flashed across the man's face when he heard Dick's name before it reverted back to an unreadable mask. But Dick had always been able to read Bruce. And suddenly, he knew why Bruce had never taken him in. "I died, didn't I? That's why there are no child heroes on this Earth. I died with my parents."

Bruce's stoic face was all he needed to confirm his suspicions. Damian must have sensed his distress, because the boy patted his hand a few times in an awkward attempt to comfort him. Jason swore loudly beside him, and Tim gasped and moved to hug him. Dick didn't know what to think. Before Bruce, he had wished that he had died with his parents. But after Bruce? After his brothers? All he wanted to do was to live. He wanted to continue to make life messy, and to make his brothers laugh, and to keep making everyone's lives one giant circus. He wanted it all.

Dick wiped his face, not really sure why he was crying. He was still alive. What did it matter if this Earth's version of him had died fifteen years prior? It didn't affect him, or his brothers. So why did he feel like he had caught a glimpse of this amazing life, and then realized that he was actually falling in that circus tent. That that was the life he could have had if he had just lived.

He was snapped out of it when Jason whacked him upside the head. "Grow the fuck up Dickhead! So you died in this world? Big fucking deal. I was dead in our world. I woke up in my coffin and had to scratch my way out. You're always telling me to let go of the past. Of the fact that I died, and my brother's psycho mother dropped me in a magical pit of glowing green liquid, that kind of drove me insane. If I can move past that and actually talk and live with Bruce without the urge to rip out his intestines and use them to hang him, then you can fucking move past the fact that you died on a Earth we don't live on."

Dick gave Jason a dry smile, unshed tears still shining in his eyes. "You have such a way with words Jaybird. Truly poetic. Have you ever considered a carrier in writing?"

Jason rolled his eyes good naturally. "Shut the fuck up Golden Boy."

Superman coughed, and suddenly Dick was aware of all the gaping stares that he was receiving. "Uh. Let's continue to work. I really wanna go home."

###

Dick stared at the machine. It didn't look like much. Kinda like a zeta platform, but considerably more bulky. Like the prototype. Or the unattractive cousin. Either way, it was hard to believe that that thing was going to zap them to Earth 2. In fact it seemed downright impossible. And by the way Jason was staring at it, he agreed. "Fuck no. Don't you guys have someone who can operate Boomtubes?"

The raised eyebrows he got in return, answered his question. Jason started mumbling about shithead brothers and assdults and a whole lot more that Dick couldn't understand.

Staring at the League, he offered a small smile. "Thank you guys for your help. I'm sorry about the fight we had earlier. I should have tried harder to end it before the fighting broke out. Either way, it has been a pleasure."

Superman shook his hand seriously. "We shouldn't have thrown the first punch. As for helping you, I can only hope that you would help us if the situations were reversed."

Dick nodded but didn't comment. Grabbing each of his brothers he went to stand on the zeta platform before placing his mask over his eyes and encouraging them to do the same. He watched as the waving visage of Superman slowly disappeared and his vision faded to black.

###

Dick woke up on the roof of Wayne Corp with Superman desperately shaking his shoulder. Clutching his ribs, Nightwing sat up slowly and looked around. League members were scattered along the roof, each crouched over the unconscious forms of his brothers.

"Nightwing's awake!" Superman called.

Dick winced. He had a raging headache and that certainly didn't help. A shadow lurked over him, and he blinked before recognizing the concerned visage of his father. "I'm okay. Mostly. I few broken ribs and I think I tore something in my shoulder. Then there's the concussion, and major headache, but otherwise I'm injury free. Jason will probably have a concussion too when he wakes up. Aquaman hit him pretty hard."

Seeing the shocked looks on everyone's faces, Dick backtracked. "I mean we were on a different Earth. Earth Prime I think. Although I don't really remember how we got there. Point being that after we all located each other, we decided to hack our way into the Watchtower because we needed the supplies and the knowledge that the League has. Problem is, we don't exist there. Or rather, there are no child heroes there. Because I died with my parents. Point being, they thought we were villains, and then I threw Wonder Woman. And then I engaged Batman while Jason fought Wonder Woman. Oh and Tim and Damian did great against Flash and Aquaman. But Aquaman managed to hit Jason after he took out Martian Manhunter. And then there Batman was really mean, so I yelled at him. But this was after we defeated the League and untied them. Did I mention that their League is so much bigger? We only fought the founding members though. Jason managed to get Kryptonite so at least Superman was down for the count. I said that I was dead in that world, right? Oh. And Damian was in jail so I dressed up like a cop but Jason caused an explosion but Tim was in the library so–"

Jason groaned and sat up before yelling, "Shut the fuck up Dickhead! My brain is mush and even I can tell that your story telling skills suck ass."

Tim snorted. "I hate to agree with Jason, but I couldn't follow that and not only was I there, I'm a genius!"

Damian sniffed loudly. "Grayson, while I find you to be my only tolerable sibling, you are currently disgracing our adventure with your rambling."

Dick's eyes laser focused on Damian. "Did I just hear you call us all siblings?"

Bruce watched with amusement as Damian vehemently denied claiming any relation to Jason and Tim while the other boys laughed. He had been scared out of his wits when all four boys had been hit by some sort of laser and disappeared. He had feared the worst, but Alfred had calmed him down and made him call in the rest of the League for support in the search for clues. They had managed to find traces of particles that were similar in nature to what the zeta beams left behind. The information had given Bruce hope, and he was in the middle of researching multiverse travel, when Superman had called him on the comm to let him know that the boys had suddenly appeared on the roof of Wayne Corp. Bruce didn't think he had ever driven as fast as he had in that moment.

When he had arrived, Dick was in the process of sitting up, and his other sons were showing signs of slowly returning to consciousness. A huge weight lifted off of his chest, and for the first time since they disappeared, he felt like he could breathe.

As Bruce continued to watch them, Bruce knew that there was more to this story than he thought. Dick had more demons displayed on his face than he had since Jason's death, and Jason was swearing more than usual, a sure sign that something was bothering him. Tim kept looking up at him as if he wanted confirmation to keep doing what he was doing, and Damian had edged closer to Dick for physical contact. In short, they weren't acting completely like themselves. But he knew, that given time, they would return to their usual selves. They just needed to go home and go back to their normal schedules. They needed Bruce to reassure their fears, and to hold them tight for a while. They needed to feel loved.

Nodding to himself, Bruce straightened his shoulders and steeled his resolve. He would do everything in his power to make his birds whole and healed again. And when they were, he would let them fly out of the nest again and into the world. As long as they knew that they could always return home at the end of the night and that there would always be a bat waiting in the shadows to shelter them when the world became too much. They were his Robins. And nothing would ever change that. Multiverse be damned.

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 **A/N: Holy mother of pearl! That was 21 pages long and around 10,000 words. I have never written a chapter that long, and I don't think I ever will again. The ideas just kept pouring out of me though! It was amazing.**

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 **First of all...I wanted to tell you about this amazing thing that _Thegirlytomboy_ told me about. It's a new website that's being released in December for all us creative types. Fanfic, art, poetry, music, whatever you can think of, you can put it on this website. What makes it so special is that viewers (like you) can tip the creators, kinda like when you hear somebody playing the guitar on a street corner. Basically, it allows people who might not otherwise be able to showcase their art show it to the world and make tips. I personally, can't wait for it to come out. **

**The name of the website will be _Writscrib_ so please go and check it out! **

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 **Also, I love fanart, so if anyone's been posting anything on deviantart, tumblr, or some other website please let me know through a PM or a review. I would especially love it if it was inspired by one of my stories.**

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 **Last thing, I really wanted to recommend the story May We Meet Again by _gtgrandom._ It is Young Justice, but it focuses on Dick and Bruce. I recently found it and fell in love, so I hope that you check it out. If anyone has any fanfics they would like me to read or that they recommend, please tell me! I love discovering new stories!**

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 **Okay, so that was a very long author's note. Congrats to the people who actually read it. I know that I skip over it more often than I'd like to admit (though I usually read the A/N when I reread the chapter for the second time :P).**

 **Have a great day everyone, and I hope that you enjoyed my story!**


	52. Time Heals All Wounds

**Time Heals All Wounds**

Dick knew he was acting strangely. He knew that Bruce was worried about him and was studying Dick closely when he thought nobody was looking. He also knew that it was because every time Bruce went to ruffle his hair or put an arm around his shoulder, Dick flinched. Violently.

Despite all of Bruce's awkward attempt to ask what his problem was, Dick refused to talk to him. Bruce didn't need to be burdened with his problems. Not this one at least. He didn't need to know what it felt like to fight the man you viewed as a father. To feel your ribs breaking under his punch, knowing that if you slowed down even slightly, the fight would end with you needing medical attention desperately. No. Bruce didn't need to know that every time he closed his eyes he could feel the other Bruce's cold stare and rejection.

Which led to Dick ghosting around and avoiding Bruce with every possible accuse in the book. He had even told Bruce that he had 'stuff' when the man asked where he was going. Not that Bruce had any real say in whether or not he went out.

Deciding that he couldn't take it anymore, Dick quickly packed a duffle bag with some essentials and headed to the garage. There he jumped onto a non-descript black motorcycle that couldn't be linked back to Dick Grayson and tore out of the manor grounds. Happy Harbor was nice this time of year, and he had a safe house there that Batman didn't know about. And there was no reason to suspect that he had gone there, now that the team operated out of the Watchtower. Really it was the perfect hiding spot.

When he finally made it there, Dick tossed down his stuff and sank into the couch. He really needed to figure out how to get over his problems before Bruce freaked out and stopped talking to him. It wouldn't exactly be the first time that that's happened.

But how was he supposed to get over something like that? He just kept imagining the other Bruce's face. What if his Bruce suddenly looked at him like that? Or worse, what if this was some sort of dream and Bruce was really like the other Bruce and they never had bonded? Was that even possible?

Dick was about to really start freaking out when the phone rang. The safe house phone whose number nobody had access to. Or so he thought. He waited tensely for the automated message to come up. Maybe the person on the other side would leave a message. "Hey Dickhead. I know you're there. I also know that you won't pick up. That's okay, I'll talk. You just listen."

Dick felt the childish need to plug his ears and hum so that he couldn't hear whatever Jason had to say. Trying not to give in to the need, Dick waited impatiently for his brother to continue. "Look Dick. I know what's up. The other two haven't figured it out yet, and I doubt that they will. I made a promise to myself before we went up to the Watchtower that I would help you through this, but I don't know if I can. Maybe I could, if you were to let me. Maybe I could if I were more in touch with my emotions like you are. Maybe I could if I weren't so afraid of screwing you up. Point is, I don't think I can help you. Not this time. Call me when you need me to kick someone's ass. But don't worry, I sent someone your way that can help. And Golden Boy, he should be arriving right about now, so no running."

Dick listened to the dial tone in shock. Was Jason really that worried about him? And who was Jason sending his way? And more importantly, how had Jason his ultra secret safe house phone number and address?

Hearing the sound of the deadbolt turning, Dick turned just in time to see the front door open and Bruce walk in. Crap. He should've run as soon as he heard Jason's voice.

Making a mental note to maim his brother later, Dick waved sheepishly in Bruce's direction. "Hey B. What's up?"

###

Dick pretended that he was super busy in the kitchen while Bruce sat on his couch watching him. Dick tried to avoid eye contact as he started to make some tea. Alfred would be proud. Bruce cleared his throat awkwardly and gestured around. "This place new?"

Carefully dunking the tea bag, Dick watched as the boiling hot water slowly adopted a new rusty color. He had to be careful, last time he made tea, he had managed to make the liquid a bright neon green. Tim had suggested that perhaps he had not used water but instead some sort of chemical. "No. Made this for myself while we were operating out of the cave. I figured that I, we, might need it one day."

Bruce shifted once again as Dick placed the steaming mug in front of him. "Jason sent me. He said that you needed me, but I'm not so sure. You've been avoiding me since your trip. He said that that's how I should know that you need me now more than ever."

Dick shrugged. His brother did have a point, but he wasn't sure whether or not he should be thanking Jason or trying to kill him. Right now, he was leaning towards severely maim, possibly cripple.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me what the problem is. You keep flinching away from me like I beat you."

Dick couldn't help but flinch at that statement. Bruce was being his usual, brutally honest self, but Dick wasn't sure that he wanted that at the moment. "It's not you."

Bruce rubbed a hand down his face, but Dick could see the barest hint of a smile as he said, "Don't you dare say, 'It's me' like we're in some B-rated romance movie."

Despite the fact that the Goddamn Batman had just made a joke, Dick couldn't find it in himself to laugh. "It's not you per say, it's the other you. The one from our little trip."

Bruce sat there quietly and Dick could practically hear the gears turning in his head. But he made no move to talk, which Dick took as his sign to continue.

"I mean, I know you! And I know that you were different before having kids, what adult isn't? But it was your face rejecting me! It was your face being mean to Timmy! It was your face telling me that you've never had a partner, that you never had kids! And I was dead in that world, and you didn't care! It was, traumatizing! I fought you, all out, no handicaps for the first time. You broke my ribs, messed up my shoulder, and gave me the concussion of a lifetime! I couldn't help but hold back, but you had no such problems."

Bruce's lips pursed and he stared at Dick thoughtfully. "I can't change that. I wish I could, but I can't. But I can promise you this. I will do everything in my power to prevent you from having to go through that again."

Dick nodded, still looking down at his hands. Bruce sighed as he debated what to do. Dick was usually his easiest child. A little bit of talking, and his son was right as rain again and bruising his internal organs with a soul crushing hug.

Staring at Dick, Bruce inched closer. When Dick didn't move, or flinch, Bruce placed a gentle hand on his son's shoulders. When Dick still didn't move away, he gathered the younger man up in his arms and pulled him close in a hug. Bruce didn't give hugs often, sure he received them on a daily basis from Dick, but he almost never voluntarily hugged someone. He was certain he was doing something wrong when Dick stiffened in his arms.

That fear was proved to be unfounded when Dick sagged as if the weight of the world was suddenly lifted off of his shoulders and he could breathe again. Bruce waited patiently as Dick hugged him tighter and started to cry in his shirt.

When the young man quieted, Bruce tried to pull away, only to find that Dick had fallen asleep on top of him. Smirking slightly, Bruce adjusted himself so that he was more comfortable and joined his son in the land of dreams.

###

Jason groaned and blinked slowly, trying to figure out where he was. He was tied to a chair in his boxers in a barren room with a single lightbulb. From the shadows, a figure appeared and began to circle him. Jason squinted trying to figure out just how much trouble he was in. Was it the Joker? Or some loser like the Condiment King? And how the hell had they managed to get the jump on him?

"Jason. Jason. Jason. I have a few questions, and you're going to answer them honestly, or the results won't be pretty."

Jason started sputtering. What the hell! He recognized that voice! "Dickhead! What the fuck?"

Dick crouched down behind him and placed a hand on both of his shoulders before leaning in close and whispering, "How did you find my safe house and its phone number?"

"You fucking serious? You had a post-it in your room that said 'ULTRA SECRET SAFE HOUSE ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER:' all I had to do was give the address to Bruce and call you right before he was scheduled to arrive. Not exactly rocket science!"

Dick sniffed. "Fine. I'll see you at home."

"Dick! Dickhead? Get back here and untie me you fucking asshole! There's no reason to fucking leave me here!"

"Consider it payback for snooping."

Jason couldn't believe his ears. This was his goody-two-shoes brother! His 'extremely nice to everyone even those who deserve a kick in the ass' brother! Not his sadistic or evil genius brother! Why the hell was he leaving him here? In his underwear? "Dick! Get back! I promise I won't shoot you as soon as I get the chance! Dick? You're a fucking asshole Dickface! Dick? Hello?"

###

Dick whistled as he exited the abandoned warehouse on the other side of Gotham. Jason was going to have a hard time escaping before beginning the long and embarrassing trek home in his boxers. That was more than adequate revenge for violating his privacy. Besides, it would give Dick plenty of time to collect blackmail photos so that Jason didn't try to maim him later. All's well that ends well, right?

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 **A/N: Hey guys! What did you think?** **Couple of quick points:**

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 **Check out of my poll**

 **Check out Batman and Harley Quinn 2017 (Has some great lines. Nightwing is my favorite, and his relationship with Batman is hilarious in this movie!)**

 **Any fanfic recommendations? Please tell me!**

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 **Please review! Any thoughts, questions, comments, ect. let me know!**


	53. Secret Tattoos Part 1

**Secret Tattoos**

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 **Jason and his mouth are in this**

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Jason sat in the library reading Macbeth. Dick would probably make fun of him later, but he had always had a soft spot for the classics. Besides, Dick wouldn't know a classic if it hit him in the face. Not that he cared what his older brother thought of him. Not at all. Not one bit. Maybe a little bit. But not too much.

Taking a moment to stretch, Jason noted that the Demon Brat was once again curled up in the corner of the room with a sketch pad. Using all of his training to move silently, Jason approached his youngest and most temperamental brother. Glancing over the boy's shoulder, he admired the drawing. Damian must have been feeling angry because the picture was of some creep being beheaded while the person next to him laughed. It was disturbing. And it gave him the best idea ever.

Rushing soundlessly out of the room, Jason searched for a set of sharpies. Gathering the thick and thin kind, he rushed back into the library. Not caring that Damian was aware of his presence, Jason made his way over and dumped all of the sharpies in the boy's lap. "Here."

Damian stiffened and looked up. "Todd? I demand you tell me the reason for bringing me all of these markers. I do not require them for my art."

Jason rolled his eyes. Couldn't the boy see his genius plan? It was so obvious! "They're for your new art project Brat. Get with the program already!"

When Damian didn't respond right away, Jason heaved a sigh. The kid was clueless. "I want you to use those markers to give me temporary tattoos. Make them look real though so that the Old Man blows a fuse."

"I do not see the point Todd. And why must you insist on angering Father?"

"The point is that tattoos are cool, but Bruce won't let me have one. Besides, it's kinda funny seeing the man's face change colors. So will you do it or not?"

`Damian sat there in silence for a moment before frowning. "Fine. But I shall destroy you if Grayson is disappointed in me."

Jason rolled his eyes. Seriously? That's what the kid was worried about? Dick wasn't exactly hard to please. All the kid had to do was mention brotherly bonding and Dick would be all for it. "Deal kid. Now I was thinking something violent and related to death. You know, the stuff we agree on."

"I'll see what I can do Todd. If you would please remove your shirt, we can get started."

Jason stripped his shirt off faster than he had ever done when a guy was the one asking. This was going to be awesome.

###

Jason marched around the house wearing a muscle shirt, proudly displaying the two sleeves of sharpie tattoos. He would walk around shirtless and display his inked up back, but the white shirt allowed the sharpie tattoos to be seen and Damian had declared that walking around shirtless would be 'disgraceful'. Jason had seen the small pleased smile on his face, but had chosen to ignore it. Who said that he had no self control?

Tim had spotted him first. He took one look at Jason's arms before shaking his head and turning around. Jason was disappointed that he hadn't said anything. Tim could've at least told him to cover up before Bruce saw! What kind of brother was he?

Alfred was the next one. The butler took one look at Jason's arms before rubbing a hand down his face and murmuring, "Oh dear. Master Bruce will not be pleased." Jason smirked. At least Alfred understood how much trouble he would be in and cared. Granted, the butler was probably more upset that his dinner was going to be ruined by Bruce's shouting. That or the fact that Jason had 'defiled his skin'. Something along those lines.

Dick's reaction shocked him though. He took one look at Jason before grabbing his wrist and dragging him into his room. From there, Dick had demanded that Jason take off his shirt. Jason was confused, but stripped anyways. The real confusing part was when Dick took out his phone and started to photograph him. When Jason had finally gotten over his shock enough to ask what the hell his older brother was doing, the man simply shrugged nonchalantly. "Bruce is going to make you get those removed. I just figured that you would want photographic evidence of the tattoos before then."

Jason's heart was almost touched by the thoughtful gesture. Not. "Dickhead. There ain't no way Bruce will ever get me to remove these."

Dick looked at him sympathetically before patting him on the shoulder. "That's the right attitude. Remember that later when Bruce goes postal."

Bruce could go postal all he wanted. There was no way in hell that Jason was going to get the sharpie tattoos lasered off. He told Dick that, leaving out the part where the tattoos were done in sharpie. It would be fun to tell him that later. For now, his older brother could continue to live in fear his father might murder his younger brother.

###

Jason strolled to the dinner table late, knowing that everyone was going to notice his entrance. He had put on a long sleeved shirt, figuring that the reveal of his ink would be so much better this way. And that Dick and Tim would relax, thinking that he was trying to hide them from Bruce. Idiots. Why would he hide them when he could drive Bruce insane?

Bruce had glared at him for being late, but had otherwise not commented. The fact that he hadn't was almost disappointing, Jason liked angering Bruce. Dick said that it had something to do with his deep psychological need to please the man, but what did he know? It wasn't like his older brother took online psychology classes in his free time. Well he did. But that wasn't the point. The point was, he had a mission. Get Bruce angry in the likes the family has never seen before.

Which was why, halfway through dinner, Jason had the sudden need to stretch his arms above his head. His brothers watched with horror as his shirt sleeve moved down the slightest inch and revealed a swirl of black ink.

Bruce's smile seemed to slip off of his face as he stared at Jason's wrist. "Jason? What is that on your wrist?"

"Oh this? It's nothing." Jason did his best to make Bruce aware he was lying. Sure, he was usually an amazing liar, and could get away telling lies to the Goddamn Batman, but he wanted Bruce to know that the ink on his wrist was not nothing like he claimed it was.

"Jason. Roll up your sleeves."

Dick rubbed a hand down his face and signaled Alfred to pour him more wine. "More like take off his shirt."

Bruce growled, apparently hearing Dick's mumbling. Jason shrugged unrepentantly and shrugged off his shirt, giving Bruce a moment to take it in before turning around and showing him his back. Turning back to face his father, Jason noted with glee that his face was turning purple and he looked like he was using all of his self control. Jason also noted that the grin on his face would probably later be described as 'shit-eating'. Personally, Jason would have called it something else, but who was he to judge his brothers' lack of creativity.

Finally, Bruce seemed to get a handle on his emotions. "Jason. You will go in tomorrow and get those removed."

"No fucking way in hell Old Man. My tattoos, my fucking choice. I'm nineteen. You can't force me to do jackshit."

Bruce swallowed a growl and took on a more pleading tone. "Jason. Just think about this. If your costume rips, people will be able to see your tattoos. They're identifying markers. They'll be able to connect Red Hood and Jason Todd. And therefore figure out all of our secret identities."

Jason frowned. When he put it that way, the man really did have a point. Too bad Jason was a stubborn son of a bitch. Literally. His mom was a bitch. "No way."

Bruce looked ready to pounce, so Dick stepped in. "Let's take a deep breathe B-man. You too Jay. Let's all state our opinions without physical violence. I'll go first. Jay. Is it possible that you cover them up part time? Either Jason Todd or Red Hood can have the tattoos, but that way we separate the two a bit."

Jason frowned but secretly thought that Dick was good at the whole mediator thing. He had managed to diffuse a tense situation without anyone being punched. That, and his idea wasn't stupid.

Jason shook his head to dispel his thoughts. Dick took that to mean that he didn't agree and sighed. "Tim, would you like to offer your thoughts?"

Jason stared at his younger brother ready to pounce him if he said anything even remotely offensive. "Nope. Not my battle. Besides, I don't really see the problem. Freedom of expression and all that."

Jason narrowed his eyes. Tim's gaze shifted to the side, and Jason immediately knew. No fucking way. The Replacement had a tattoo. Probably an embarrassing one too by the looks of it. Man, how did the kid even get one? He was sixteen, but he looked twelve half the time. And there was no way in hell that Bruce had signed off on it. Unless Dick had. That was entirely possible.

Dick nodded. "Okay. Bruce, would you like to calmly state your opinion?"

"I think that this is one of the stupidest and rashest things that Jason has ever done, and I wonder how he managed to do something so significant without once thinking of the consequences. I think that—"

Bruce was cut off by Dick covering his mouth and saying, "Damian, your opinion please!"

Damian rolled his eyes. "Honestly Grayson. I do not understand what the fuss is about. It is not like they are an indefinite fixture in our lives. Despite the fact that shapies claim to be a permanent marker, the ink does not last long on skin."

Seeing as his cover was blown, Jason blinked at his family innocently. "I asked Damian to give me sharpie tattoos. I thought our brotherly bonding would be appreciated!"

Dick's eyes glazed over at that and he scooped up Damian. "I'm so proud of you! You played nice with Jason! And your sharpie tattoo skills are magnificent!"

Damian preened under the praise, and Jason watched slightly amused as the boy leaned into the embrace ever so slightly. The kid might have been more prickly than a porcupine on steroids, but he still enjoyed affection. Sometimes. Only from Dick.

Bruce blinked. "Sharpies?"

"Duh. I'm not stupid or rash. Well maybe rash, but I do know that tattoos are a fucking stupid thing for heroes to get."

Bruce sank into his chair, his expression clearly saying, 'I'm so relieved right now.' Jason could understand that. The kid had done a really good job. It would be a shame to see the marks fade away. He would have to get the boy to do it again some time. Though Bruce probably wouldn't freak out again, which kinda took half the appeal away. Maybe he could prank Superman and tell him that Batman forced all of his Robins to get a tramp stamp of the Batman logo. He was sure that his brothers would play along.

He could tell the man that Damian was about to get his, and watch as the Man of Steel brought righteous fury to the Dark Knight's home only to find out he was duped. Then watch as the Boy Scout groveled for intruding the Caped Crusader's home and accusing him of such vile things. That sounded like an awesome plan. Even better than the time they had stolen Ma Kent's pies and blamed it on the Flash. Now, he just had to get his brothers to agree with him. Whether or not they would do it without the extra incentive of blackmail was the real question.

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 **A/N:**

 **Search _Nightwing and Red Robin vs Silverback_ on Youtube. I promise you won't regret it!**

 **MusicLyric: I saw the trailer on youtube and looked it up online.**

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 **IMPORTANT:**

 **For one of the next chapters, I want to do small shorts (In one chapter) based off of fanart. Submit yours or someone's you like, and I will write the story behind the picture. In the review section (or PM me) leave the key words or phrases to find the photo. Or better yet, the link. Just remember fanfic doesn't like links, so you need to put a space or something in it.**

 **For example, for my cover photo I would write: Nightwing takes selfie with a tied up Damian**

 **It should pop up right away under images. Anyways, I think that this will be really funny and can't wait to see what you guys think!**

 **(This idea came from looking through fanart and wondering how in the world some of the artists come up with the pictures they draw.)**

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 **Please review and let me know what you thought about this chapter!**


	54. Secret Tattoos Part 2

**Secret Tattoos Part 2**

Jason slunk down the hall to Tim's room. It had been two whole months since the sharpie tattoo incident, meaning it was the perfect time to pull that prank on Superman. The only challenge would be getting his brothers to agree to help him. Good thing he had blackmail.

Slipping into Tim's room, he pulled off the headset the younger boy was wearing and turned his chair around, ignoring Tim's protests. Who cared if he had just 'died' in his video game. Pranks were far more important. "I need your help with a prank, Replacement."

Tim rolled his eyes and tried to take back his headset. "No thanks, Zombie Breathe."

Jason's eyebrow twitched at the nickname but he didn't comment. If Tim knew how much he hated it, it was guaranteed that everyone would be calling him that by the end of the day. "You don't even know what it is yet!"

"Don't need to, cause I don't care."

Sighing dramatically, Jason shrugged. "Then I guess you leave me no choice but to tell everyone just how you got that black eye and broken wrist. It wasn't by fighting off a group of muggers like you claimed. You tripped over your slightly too long cape and fell down a flight of stairs."

Tim shuffled in his chair nervously. "You can't prove that. And everyone knows you're a serial liar. Who do you think they're going to believe? You? Or me?"

"You're so right. Normally they would believe you, but unfortunately for you, I have video evidence that proves me right."

Jason smirked in victory when Tim ran a hand down his face and asked desolately, "What do you need me to do?"

###

Still high on his victory, Jason sauntered into Damian's room. "Hey Brat. I need your help for a prank on Superman."

As expected, the boy snarled when Jason mentioned the blue clad hero. Like father, like son. "I shall help you destroy what remains of Superman's dignity. What is it that you wish me to do?"

Jason hastily explained the plan. This was going so much better than with Tim. "Absolutely not. I shall not help you besmirch Father's good name so that you can prank Superman, no matter how much I hate him." Damn. Apparently he spoke to soon.

"Fine. I guess I will have to plaster this photo of you snuggling with the plush kitty that Dick gave you around the Watchtower. Dick will be happy to know that you kept it, and didn't throw it out like you claimed."

Damian started to grind his teeth before growling at him viciously. "I assume that if I help you the photo will be destroyed?"

"Sure." Not fucking likely. It would just be forgotten about until the next time he had to blackmail Damian. But he doubted that that would be an acceptable answer.

"Very well. You shall have my support. Good luck convincing Grayson. He actually likes Superman for reasons I cannot fathom."

Shit. Jason knew he was forgetting something.

###

Jason barged into Dick's room, not even bothering to knock. Glancing around the room, he realized that Dick wasn't even in there. He was about to leave, when Dick walked in with an apple in his mouth and a towel draped over his shoulders. He raised a single eyebrow at Jason before flopping down on his desk chair and spinning it around. "Welcome to my humble abode Jaybird. Any reason in particular you decided to grace me with your presence?"

Jason scowled. Was his brother being a sarcastic prick or not? "You're going to help me with my prank or I will give the Justice League video surveillance of you being mobbed by crazy fan girls."

Dick shrugged. "And then I would give them that video of you running through Gotham in your underwear."

"And I would counter with the video of Bruce scolding you for skipping patrol for a date with Kori. Or was it Barbara? Or Zatanna?"

"Bette actually. And I really don't care. But for the sake of argument, I would show the League that heartwarming video of you not only snuggling with your brothers, but actually hugging Bruce. I'm sure they would love to see that tough as nails, "I don't give a shit", Red Hood loves family time."

"You wouldn't! My reputation would be ruined!"

Dick smirked at his screeching brother. "I would, and you know it. So instead of trying to blackmail me, why don't you just ask me?"

Jason sulked. He should've known not to try and blackmail Dick. The guy's idea of a hobby was collecting blackmail on people. "I want to prank Superman."

"Okay. Why don't you give me a few more details. I'm not sure yet why you felt the need to blackmail me. Everyone knows I like to prank people."

"Remember how the kid gave me sharpie tattoos and everyone thought they were real? I want him to draw tramp stamps of the Bat symbol on each of us. Then while at the Watchtower we talk about Damian's 'Initiation tattoo' and stuff where Superman can overhear us."

"Sounds fun. What exactly do you want me to do?"

Jason gaped. "Seriously? All I had to do was ask?"

Dick shrugged and tossed the apple core. It made a nice arc before landing in the trash bin on the other side of the room. "That was definitely a three pointer. And of course I agreed. I personally love to prank people and drive Bruce crazy. This happens to be combining both. Do you need my help convincing Damian and Tim? I'm not above using emotional blackmail."

Jason blinked. Dick Grayson was the unfathomable thing. "Um no. I already convinced them. Um. Is tomorrow okay?"

"Sure. Whenever you're ready. I'll call us all in sick. Oh! And I'll make sure Bruce doesn't find out. Tomorrow, all of you come to my room before Bruce wakes up. I'll fill you in on the plan then. Oh. And I'll tell Alfred. You just make sure Tim and Damian know."

Jason walked out of the room slightly confused but pleased with himself. This was going to rock. Now, if only he could do pranks like this every day. Or at least drive Bruce criminally insane all the time.

###

Dick smirked internally as Bruce strode into his room. Outwardly, he made himself look as miserable as possible and sniffled pathetically. He was glad that his brothers could fake sleep so well as they huddled around him.

"Bwoose. I don't feel so good."

Bruce immediately started to shuffle around and feel his temperature. Thankfully, Alfred had foreseen that as a possibility and had given him a hot water bottle to use to raise his temperature. Then there was the scalding hot tea he had downed right before Bruce had entered. And the red makeup he had put on his nose. And the white foundations he had liberally applied everywhere else. In other words, he looked terrible and pathetic.

Bruce was about to say something when Alfred came in and immediately started to adjust the blankets. "Sir. It appears that our young charges are sick. Perhaps this will teach them a lesson about playing in the rain."

Bruce shot Dick an appraising look before grunting. "I doubt that. Dick hasn't matured in the fifteen years that he's been living here, what makes you think he will start now?"

Dick nodded seriously. "Pwaying in the wain is fun Alfwed. You should twy it sometime."

It was forty whole minutes later that Bruce finally left. He had tried to stay home, but Dick and Alfred had managed to convince him that him staying would be detrimental to their recovery.

As soon as Alfred gave the all clear that Bruce was off of the property, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian sprang into action. First, they sat still for Damian to draw the Bat symbol in black sharpie on their lower backs. Then they raced down to the Batcave to put on their costumes.

With one glove hanging out of his mouth, Dick mumbled, "Make sure that you delete all traces of us using the zeta beams Tim."

"Why? Bruce will know we went to the Watchtower anyways."

"Yeah, but I found out the hard way that Bruce gets an alert on his phone every time we use our designation codes."

Jason dropped his helmet. "Seriously? What the hell! And how the fuck did you figure that out? And why did you never tell us!"

Dick blinked owlishly at his younger brother. "Well at first I thought he was tracing the Batcave Zeta Beams. But after I started using the one in the neighboring city and Bruce was still crashing my dates and bro outings, I knew that there was something more. I didn't figure out the phone thing until one time, when Jason first came to live here, I saw the alert. I thought you guys knew. After all, I'm the pretty one. I'm all face and no brains."

"Seriously? You're still on that? Come on! I said I was sorry!" Tim huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dick waved him off before approaching the Zeta Beam. "You guys ready to pull the most awesome prank in the history of pranks? All rights and credit go to Jason of course."

Jason gave a dramatic bow as Dick cheered him on enthusiastically. "Let's get this party started."

###

Superman was walking down the halls of the Watchtower waving at the heroes who passed. As usual, he was trying to keep his super hearing to himself, but then he heard his name. Giving himself a pass, Superman allowed himself to listen in to the conversation. They were talking about him behind his back after all.

"Maybe we should tell Superman. This doesn't seem right!"

Superman scrunched up his eyebrows. That sounded like Dick. Was he in some kind of trouble? Why didn't he just tell Bruce?

The next voice was pissed as he said, "We went through it, so the Brat does too. It's not a big deal. It's just his initiation to be Robin." That was definitely Jason.

"I don't know. I didn't like it. It hurt. Maybe we should tell someone. It's kind of weird that Bruce makes us do this." Tim. That was definitely Tim. What had Bruce done to the three boys? And by the sounds of it, it was Damian's turn!

The boy in question scoffed. "Really Drake. Grayson. Todd is correct. As Robin, it is my duty to go through the initiation. I do not see the harm in getting a tattoo on my back of the Bat symbol. What I do not understand is why it is called a tramp stamp."

Superman reeled back in shock. What? Bruce had them get tramp stamps to prove their loyalty? Maybe it was just a joke. Using his x-ray vision, Superman looked through the walls until he found the boys. Searching under their costumes, he found what he was looking for. There on their lower backs was a black bat. How could Bruce do this? He had to save Damian from the same fate!

As he rushed out of the Watchtower at the speed of sound, his subconscious reminded him that he had seen Dick, Jason, and Tim change plenty of times, and they had never had the tattoo before. But seeing as it was his subconscious, he didn't see that he was being duped.

###

Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin sauntered into the hallway. Seeing all the disgruntled heroes on the ground and all of the scattered papers, Nightwing smirked. "Think he fell for it?"

###

Bruce had just arrived at the manor when Clark burst through the front doors, knocking them off of their hinges. Raising a silent eyebrow, Bruce turned up his lip. "I hope you're planning on paying for that."

"Cave. Now."

Bruce forced himself not to react to Clark's anger and rolled his eyes. What the hell was his problem. More curious than anything else, Bruce led the way to the cave entrance, and then down the stairs to the cave.

Turning to face the enraged Boy Scout, Bruce crossed his arms over his chest. "Talk."

"How could you? That is some sort of sick initiation! I can't believe you got away with it! But no more! I won't let you do it to Damian too! They told me all about it, and I won't have it!"

"Oh? They told you about ice cream night? I thought it was silly, but I took Dick one time and now he insists that I do it with every Robin. Apparently, it's fun seeing the reactions people have when Batman and Robin stroll into an ice cream parlor and order cones to go."

"Ice cream? No I'm not talking about the ice cream! I'm talking about the tattoos you have them get of the Bat symbol on their lower back! You made children get a tramp stamp!"

"You have officially lost your mind."

"No I haven't! I saw it!"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop. "Using your x-ray vision for something inappropriate are we Clark? And if you thought about it before rushing in with all your righteous fury, you would remember that you went to your work swim party with Dick and Tim last week and they didn't have tattoos. They played a prank on you."

"Oh."

Bruce ground his teeth. "Yes. Oh. Now, we're going to have a little talk about appropriate uses of your x-ray vision. Then, we are going to talk about replacing my front door."

Superman shuddered. This was not going to be a fun evening.

###

The four brothers shared a silent high five as Superman walked despondently out of the cave from their place hiding in the rafters. They had to play pranks on the Justice League more often! It was fun watching Batman scold Superman like he was a five year old.

"Boys. Come down here. We're going to have a little talk about appropriate pranks."

Dick shared a look with his brothers before yelling out, "It was all Jason's idea!" And booking it out of there with Tim and Damian.

Jason sighed. This is why he shouldn't include his brothers in his pranks. He was so getting them back for this. They should've just stayed and listened to Bruce's lecture like good brothers. And so would begin another prank war in the Wayne manor.

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 **A/N: So yeah...**

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 **I really want to do a short based off of your guy's favorite fan art, so send me a PM or write a review that either describes it or has the link. Remember that the site won't let you send links, so put spaces in it!**

 **Here's the link for the Bat symbol tramp stamp:** **cdn. emgn wp-content/ uploads/ 2016/ 01/ EMGN-Tramp-Stamp-3. jpg**


	55. Dumb Fights

**Dumb Fights**

It took all of Dick's training and self control not to burst out into laughter as he recorded what would later be known as 'the event'. It was a very dramatic name for what was essentially, the stupidest fight that had ever occurred within the Wayne Manor. Damian and Jason would claim that it was a calm debate, but Dick's video would prove otherwise. They had come to blows over the last pop tart.

It started off simply enough. Both brothers stumbled into the kitchen tiredly, greeting Dick who was already sipping at his coffee as he shoveled cereal into his mouth. Dick watched as Damian unwrapped a pop tart and put it in the toaster. Jason had shuffled closer to his brother, mug of highly caffeinated tea in hand. Glancing into the box, he was suddenly more alert. "That was the last pop tart!"

"Are we stating the obvious Todd? If so, I would like to state that you need to brush your teeth."

Dick watched with fascination as Jason's face grew steadily more red and Damian continued to ignore him. Whipping out his phone, Dick started to record them. He had a feeling that this would become excellent blackmail, and luckily for him, his brothers were to engrossed in each other to realize they were being filmed.

Jason took a menacing step forward. "You don't take the last pop tart without asking Short Stack. It's just not done."

Damian tilted his head up arrogantly. "Excuse me. I was not informed of this rule. Todd, I am taking the last pop tart, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"You little punk! I'll show you what I can do!"

Dick gaped as Jason shoved Damian away so that he had prime toaster waiting area. Damian growled lowly before tackling Jason to the kitchen floor. Dick watched as they rolled around on the tile flooring wondered whether or not he should step in.

Tim walked in while Jason was trying to get Damian in a choke hold, and Damian was biting Jason's wrist hard enough to draw blood. He took one look at him, shrugged and jumped over them. He watched as the toaster popped, and when nobody rushed to claim the pop tart, he put it in his mouth. Dick stifled his laughter as Tim walked out of the room with a mug of coffee in one hand, his tablet in the other, and the pop tart that was the cause of all their problems hanging out of his mouth.

Damian and Jason didn't even notice as the continued to fight. Dick thought about alerting them to the problem, but decided that it would be more funny if it occurred naturally. Besides, that way only the winner went after poor Timmy, instead of the two of them tag-teaming him. It was in all of their best interests if he did nothing and continued to record the spectacle in front of him. Who said he wasn't a good older brother?

Dick winced in sympathy as Damian drove his knee into Jason's ribs. Hard. Multiple times. That was going to leave a mark. Many marks if he was being honest. Jason grunted and threw Damian across the room, where he landed right in front of Bruce's feet.

Bruce stopped mid yawn and looked down at Damian in confusion before the boy launched himself once again at Jason. "Dick? What is going on here?"

Dick continued to record the spectacle in front of him as he answered. "They're fighting over who gets the last pop tart."

Bruce looked over at the toaster which contained no evidence of housing a pop tart. "And where is this pop tart that they are battling over?"

"Oh. Tim came in five minutes ago and ate it. They haven't noticed yet."

Bruce face palmed. He raised his boys to be observant. They could spot the best and most subtle drug dealers a mile aways, yet they couldn't notice when they're own brother walked in and took the very pop tart that they were fighting over. And then there was his oldest son. He might not have been encouraging their fighting, but he wasn't exactly stopping them.

"Boys! Enough!"

Immediately both boys sprang apart and scrambled to their feet. "Father. We must determine who is the most worthy of the final pop tart!"

"Yeah Old Man! This isn't some stupid fight! This is a matter of the utmost importance!"

Bruce shook his head. "While I am proud of you for not only knowing what 'utmost' means, but also managing to use it in a sentence about pop tarts, I am going to have to disagree with you. This is the dumbest fight that you two have ever had! You are literally fighting over a pop tart! We can go and buy more. We can't exactly buy you a new spleen."

"Father, my spleen was removed years ago, as was Todd's. Your point is therefore irrelevant." Jason nodded in agreement, both boys looking utterly serious.

Resisting the urge to facepalm again or to physically shake some sense into his sons, Bruce tried a different approach. "You guys do realize that you're fighting is pointless anyways, right? Tim ate the last pop tart while you guys were too busy throwing punches to notice."

Jason's eyes widened. "The fuck did you say?"

Damian snarled. "Come Todd. We must show Drake the cowardice in his decision to not fight us for the last pop tart and instead steal it like some lowly thief."

"Sure Tator-Tot. Let's teach him why it's best not to mess with a street rat and an assassin."

Dick continued to record them as they walked out of the room becoming brothers in arms against poor Timmy.

Pointing his phone at Bruce, Dick grinned widely. "Anything to add Dad? Are you angry that they ate the last pop tart?"

Bruce raised a single eyebrow. "Who do you think ate the rest of them?"

Dick burst out laughing. The phone shaking slightly in his hands along with his giggling. "Okay. You've had your fun Dick. Are you going to prevent your brothers from murderingTim?"

Dick choked on his laughter, and Bruce started to slap his hand on his son's back. "Oh no. That's your job. I'm not their father. I'm the cool brother."

Bruce growled softly before pivoting and exiting the kitchen swiftly.

Dick stopped the recording and grinned. "This is the best blackmail video ever." Standing up, Dick bound up the stairs and into his room. He had to transfer the video to somewhere safe. Bad things were known the happen to his phone after he acquired funny videos, and there was no way he was giving this one up.

After the video was hidden in a safe place with the rest of his blackmail, Dick would entertain the idea of helping Bruce stop Tim's murder. Because as much as he believed in his father, there was no way that he would have talked Damian and Jason out of a murderous rage by then. And he loved how much his 'I'm so disappointed in you' speech made his brothers squirm. For some reason, Bruce's version of the speech didn't have the same effect on them. Maybe because he didn't do the whole kicked puppy look. It was something to look into. But for now, he had to secure his blackmail, and maybe send a copy to Roy and Wally to prove once and for all that life in the Bat Clan was more dangerous than any other family. Where else would murder be a possibility if you ate the last pop tart?

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 **A/N: I saw this headcanon and had to write it out.**

 **I have a new story that has to do with fanart oneshots so check it out!**

 **Sorry for not updating in so long but midterms are a bitch and I had two English ones and a chem midterm all in the same week, so I had to study like crazy. Believe me I much rather have been reading and writing fanfic.**

 **Please let me know what you think in the reviews or PM me!**


	56. Happenstance Meetings and Bullies

**Happenstance Meetings and Bullies**

Tim frowned as he sat on the steps of the library. It had just closed for the day, and Jason was supposed to pick him up because his motorcycle was in the shop. Tim had tried to convince Bruce to allow him to borrow one of his many cars, but the man had refused. So now, Tim was stuck, waiting for Jason, who was most likely flirting with some poor, unsuspecting, girl.

Taking out his phone, Tim started to hack into the GPS on Jason's phone. Maybe then, he could get some semblance of a clue as to when Jason was going to arrive. He really hoped that his older brother hadn't forgotten him again. He really didn't want to have to call Dick for a ride when the man was still recuperating from the stab wound he had received.

Letting out a soft sigh, Tim was startled out of his reverie when a girl flopped down next to him. He studied her briefly, trying to determine why she had chosen to sit next to him when there was a whole staircase available. She didn't look like a threat. Long blonde hair in a sloppy ponytail, glasses, an oversized sweater that she kept pulling over her hands, faded jeans, and ratty converse. She looked like a normal teenage girl. Then again, Tim looked like the an average teenager too, and he was a black belt in multiple martial arts disciplines and could hack into the most secure networks in the world. It was best not to judge a book by its cover.

Seeing that she wasn't going to start a conversation, Tim turned back to his phone, exiting out of the hacking program, and opening a game. He wasn't going to risk her looking over his shoulder and asking what he was doing. It wasn't worth it.

The girl shifted next to him, so Tim glanced up at her through his bangs. Without turning to face him, the girl softly asked, "Your ride late too?"

Tim huffed a small laugh. "Something like that. My older brother isn't exactly known for his reliability." Not at all. Jason was known for his crude jokes and his tendency to shoot things that annoyed him.

"Yeah well, I think my mom forgets that I exist sometimes and that she has to pick me up." The girl shifted again so that she was hugging herself. Tim felt his chest tighten in sympathy. He knew all about neglectful parents. He had a pair himself before Bruce took him in.

Tim wondered whether or not the girl recognized him. She had yet to mention him being a 'Wayne' or knowing about his own neglectful parents. "I know a little about that too. I just got lucky." Deciding not to elaborate further on that topic, Tim smiled slightly and offered his hand. "I'm Tim."

The girl bit her lip slightly before shaking the proffered hand. "Isa."

"It's very nice to meet you Isa, even though it's because my lame ass brother is probably too busy flirting to notice the time."

Isa shook her head giggling slightly. "No offense, but why don't you have your own ride? You're wearing a Gotham Academy uniform, so you most likely have money. And I'm assuming that you're over sixteen."

Tim studied her closely from the corner of his eye, trying to decided whether or not she knew more than she was letting on. "My bike's in the shop. My oldest brother would normally be the one to pick me up, but he's feeling a bit under the weather." Dick would argue that he was fine, but the fact that he winced every time he moved said otherwise.

Isa nodded slowly. "Do you have a big family?"

"Two older brothers and one younger." Tim didn't really think that consisted of a large family, but what did he know? It's not like any of them had any aunts, uncles, or grandparents. Hence the reason that they were living with Bruce in the first place.

"It must be nice. Having that many people love you."

Tim frowned slightly. That did not sound good. Didn't this girl have any friends? Granted, Tim didn't have many true friends either. Just those who wanted to use him for his fame and fortune. Really, he could count the number of people he trusted implicitly on one hand. Literally. Bruce. Dick. Jason. Alfred. And while he would never admit it out loud, Damian. Then there was the Cape Community. While many of them didn't like Batman, Nightwing was extremely popular, and through association, so were the rest of them. It was honestly pretty tiring. But this girl didn't seem to have any of that. Why else would she seek comfort from a virtual stranger?

Realizing that he hadn't replied, Tim opened his mouth to say something. Anything. But was interrupted by the one and only Jason Todd. "Yo Shortstack! We gotta jet! I managed to get a date tonight and I am not missing it because I had to play chauffeur!"

Tim rolled his eyes dramatically before yelling, "Should've thought of that before picking me up an hour late Zombie Breath! I do have better things to do than wait for you, you know! I was about to call Mother Hen!"

"You wouldn't dare! I do not need another one of his lectures! Especially when he looks as pathetic as he does right now. It makes me feel weird."

"That would be called guilt, Little Red Riding Hood."

Tim entered a glare off with his older brother until soft giggling broke his concentration. Glancing to the side, he noted that not only was Isa still there, but she had a wide grin on her face. Tim felt horrible for forgetting her, he shouldn't have allowed Jason to rile him up like that. "Sorry Isa. This is my older brother, if you haven't already guessed."

Jason nodded. "Yo."

Tim shook his head at his older brother's behavior. He had to wonder just how many times Jason was dropped on his head as a baby. "Well, I gotta go. I'll see you around Isa."

Isa smiled and waved as he strapped on a spare helmet before jumping onto the back of Jason's motorcycle. As they sped down the streets of Gotham, Tim resigned himself for the inevitable click of the intercom system in his helmet turning on. Sure enough, the click sounded moments later. "So. That your secret girlfriend or something?"

"No Jason. She's not my secret girlfriend. I just met her today. She just walked up to me and started talking. I don't know, she seemed lonely."

"Whatever you say Replacement. Just watch your back? There are a lot of creeps out there."

Tim didn't reply, but smiled to himself. That had to be the nicest thing that Jason had ever said to him without Dick forcing him.

###

After meeting her, Tim noticed Isa at the library every day. She was always by herself, so Tim made it a habit to go sit with her. They worked mostly in silence, which Tim appreciated (there was a reason he was doing his homework in the library and not the manor). Isa soon discovered that Tim was a genius, and had him tutor her in math. Tim didn't mind, he was just glad that she was willing to listen to him, unlike the jocks he tutored during lunch.

One day, he was running late. The R&D lab had a break in, and Tim was called in to help catalogue the stolen items. It was boring work, and he had to deal with an overprotective and hovering Dick, so he was glad that he was going to find some semblance of peace. Or at least, so he thought.

As he rounded one of the shelves, he noticed Isa being backed into a corner by four girls. Tim immediately recognized the type. They were wearing to much makeup and were wearing the latest trend. They must have attended school with Isa, because they weren't Gotham Academy students.

One of the girls whispered something to Isa, and she began to cry. Tim moved to step in, but Isa pushed past the girls and tried to run. One of the girls lunged at Isa, and grabbed her bag, spilling it's contents.

By now, a crowd had gathered, and watched as Isa picked up her stuff. Nobody made a move to help, and despite how hard he tried, Tim couldn't shove his way to the front. He could only watch as Isa hugged her bag to her chest and shuffled out of the library.

The crowd dispersed and the four girls shared malicious smirks before strutting out of the library. Noticing a corner of plastic, sticking out from underneath a bookshelf, Tim bent over and picked it up. It was a student ID card for Gotham High School registered to one Isa Charles. Biting his lip softly, Tim wondered what he should do.

###

Tim stared down at the small white ID card in his hands. He had no idea what to do. Did he pretend like nothing happened? Or did he confront her? It wasn't like he could alert the authorities. At most, Isa could claim harassment, and Tim really didn't want to sit around and wait for it to escalade so that he could report it.

His pondering was interrupted by Damian of all people. "Drake. What is so fascinating about that piece of plastic? I assume it is not evidence as you are not wearing gloves."

Tim sighed. He really didn't want to explain this to Damian of all people. Dick would probably be the best brother to talk to in this situation, but he really didn't want the man's sympathy.

"Look Damian. It's none of your business, alright? It's none of mine either, really."

Damian cocked his head to the side. "Yet you still seemed distracted by it. Why?"

Rubbing a hand through his hair, Tim closed his eyes. The only way he was going to get Damian to leave him alone was by telling him. "Look. This girl I'm sorta friends with is getting bullied. I saw it happen, and I froze. By the time I was able to do something, she'd run away. I just don't know what to do."

"I see. Have you attempted to rectify the situation?"

"What do you mean?"

Damian rolled his eyes. "For a genius, you really are quite dense. Listen well Drake, as I will never repeat this again. You are a Wayne. Simply pick her up where many of her school mates can bare witness and she will be considered untouchable."

Tim blinked. That wasn't a bad idea. While the kids at Gotham Academy may not care (much) that he was a Wayne, everyone else in the city had their family on a pedestal. They were considered to be untouchable, and to an extent, so was everyone they associated with.

Tim offered Damian a bright smile. "Thanks. And I'll pretend that I didn't hear you admit that we are a family."

Tim jogged to his room, ignoring the screech coming from Damian. A smirk flitted across his lips as vague plan began to form in his mind.

###

Tim ignored the whispers as he leaned against his bike in a button down shirt and slacks. Gotham Academy had gotten out early due to Jason's latest prank (not that the school would ever be able to prove that it was Jason). It had only cost Tim fifty bucks to get Jason to pull off the prank so that he could make sure to pick up Isa. Sometimes he really loved his brothers.

Currently, half the school was gaping at him, instantly recognizing one of the Wayne heirs. Tim payed them no attention as he surveyed the crowds for Isa. Finally, he saw her coming out of the school with her head tucked down low. Tim was about to wave her over, when he noticed the same four girls from the library approaching her.

Tucking his helmet under his arm, Tim sauntered over. He watched with some glee as one of the girl's eyes widened as she watched him approach. She frantically tugged at one of the other girl's sleeves while said girl continued to viciously teese Isa.

Putting an arm around Isa's shoulders, Tim turned and kissed the side of her head. "Is there a problem here Ladies?"

Isa turned to face him, startled by his appearance. And probably more than a little weirded out by his sudden burst of affection.

One of the girls blinked slowly before saying, "You're?"

Tim smirked lazily. "Yes I am. Now is there a reason that you wanted to talk to my girlfriend, or can we go? We have a movie to catch and reservations at Bianca's and I'd hate to miss them."

"But you're...and she's…"

Tim cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "I'd be careful with how you end that sentence Miss Florez."

The girl paled substantially and stumbled back, her friends following her example and taking a few steps back. "No problem. We'll be on our way now, Mr. Wayne, Sir."

Tim really wanted to yell that his last name was Drake, but settled on moving Isa towards his bike. Placing the spare helmet on her head, Tim started to adjust the straps.

Isa blinked her eyes owlishly, before whispering, "What the hell just happened?"

"You'll probably be the most popular kid in school now. Sorry about that. Oh and here." Digging out her student ID card from his pocket, Tim handed it over. "Found that at the library. I saw what happened and froze. Why didn't you tell me?"

Isa blushed. "What do you care? And why in the world do people care whether or not I'm dating you? And I didn't know we were dating!"

Tim waved her off. "We're not. Being your fake boyfriend was just the easiest way to establish myself in your life. As for why people care, my name is Timothy Drake-Wayne. It's nice to meet you."

When Isa didn't respond, Tim shook his head with a slight smile dancing across his lips. Tugging his helmet on, Tim lithely climbed onto the bike, holding out a hand so that Isa could do the same. "Come on. I'll explain after the movie. I wasn't kidding about the dinner reservations you know."

Over the roaring engine, Tim was just able to make out the sound of Isa's laughter, which brought a smile to his own face.

###

Tim entered his room only to find that Dick was lying across his bed, absentmindedly throwing a ball in the air. "I thought you were supposed to be resting?"

"I am. I just decided to do it in your bed."

Tim decided that it was probably best not to respond. Dick had interesting ideas sometimes, and things usually worked out for the better when he just went along with it. Either that, or he ends up jumping out of an airplane with a paintball gun. Again. Fun times.

Finally Dick spoke up again. "It was a nice thing you did for that girl."

Tim turned to Dick in surprise. How had he? Dick seemed to know what he was thinking and offered a soft smile. "I'm your brother Timmy, of course I know."

"I wasn't able to do anything for her at the library. I think she may resent me a little for that. And even if she doesn't, I resent me for that."

Dick sat up slowly and patted the spot next to him. When Tim had settled down next to him, Dick offered him a sad smile and said, "Sometimes, the hardest battles we fight are those where we are wearing no masks. Think about it Timmy, there were a lot of people at the library, and not one of them stood up for that girl."

"I can't stop thinking about it. I feel so damn guilty."

"Honestly Tim, I'd be worried if you didn't. The fact that you do, means that you have a heart. That you care. A lot of people in this city can't claim the same thing."

Tim sighed. "What do I do now?"

Standing up, Dick ruffled his hair. "Just keep being her friend Timmy. That's all you can really do." Dick started to leave, but paused at the door. "Tim? You know that if you're ever in trouble like that we would help, right?"

Tim cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah. Thanks."

Dick offered him one last smile before leaving. Tim closed his eyes. He could only assume that by 'we' Dick meant his brothers. It was nice knowing that they had his back, even if two of them would never admit it, even under the threat of death.

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 **A/N: So this is the longest chapter that I've written in a little while. Point of this story: STOP BULLYING!**

 **Hope you liked it...please review!**


	57. Math Tutors and Unlikely Friendships

**Math Tutors and Unlikely Friendships**

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 **Before you kill me...there will be an A/N at the end explaining my absence. For now, I wanted to warn you about Jason's mouth, and tell you that this is an extremely late happy bday fic for _ilovedickgrayson_. I wish that it would have been on time, but...life.**

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Jason felt his eyebrow twitch as his teacher stared him down. He didn't care what she wanted, it simply wasn't happening. Ms. Stratten didn't give in though like she usually did. It was at that moment that Jason really wished that he had ignored her like usual when she asked him to stay after class. Why did he chose this moment to listen to Dick and try to not be the sole reason his teacher died of an aneurysm?

"Jason. You need a math tutor. Your not getting out of it. Unless you want to be in this class again next year instead of graduating with everyone else?"

Smirking slightly, Jason gave her his best seductive smirk. "As much as I'd love to see more of you Sammy, teacher student relationships are inappropriate."

It was a testament of Ms. Stratten's patience and her experience with Jason that allowed her to ignore the comment and say, "Ask Arushi. She seems to have a firm grasp on the concepts we have been studying."

"Have you forgotten who I live with? Tiny Tim the math and tech prodigy? I don't need this Arushi chick to tutor me when I have a living calculator! And if he won't do it, Dick will. He isn't as stupid as he looks."

"While that seems like a splendid idea, I believe that you need to interact with people other than your family."

Jason rolled his eyes. "I have plenty of friends. They just don't necessarily live in Gotham. Ask Dickhead if you don't believe me."

Ms. Stratten smirked. "I did. And he thought that you making a new friend was a lovely idea. I believe his exact words were, 'Splendid! I gotta text Roy! He's gonna love this!' While I have no idea what that means, I'm pretty sure I will have your brother's full support on this one. And before you can ask, your father and butler both agreed that it was a good idea, though I'm not sure exactly why the butler weighed in."

Jason narrowed his eyes at Ms. Stratten before snarling and stomping out of the room. He was going to murder Dick. Then he was going to put his head in a display case (he had gotten rid of his duffle bag full of heads after his days of being a drug lord came to an end), chop up the rest of him in tiny pieces and scatter the itty bitty remains in circuses around the world. That way Dick's ghost couldn't say that he had never done anything nice for him.

Realizing that he was already in the cafeteria, Jason stormed over to the table where he knew Arushi and her nerd friends sat. Slamming his hands down on the table, Jason internally smirked at how all the girls jumped and stared up at him with wide eyes. "Listen up Arushi. I'm only free for an hour on Tuesdays. And you're not coming to my house, so you can drop that idea real quick. I don't know what your hoping to gain by being my math tutor, but you sure as fuck won't be meeting the rest of my family or be spotted with any of us by the press. You got that?"

Arushi blinked slowly, before whispering, "Where should we meet?"

"I don't give a fuck. As long as I'm not driving your ass somewhere."

Jason almost felt bad when the girl bit her lip and looked like she was about to cry. Then he remembered that all the socialites that could cry on cue and hardened himself. She was a Gotham Academy girl, which meant that she either was rich or wished she was. He was not going to turn his shortcomings in math into another Wayne scandal. It wasn't worth the lecture that he would receive from Bruce. The Old Man creating his share of scandals and yet seemed to be annoyed whenever Jason did the same. Granted, that could be because Jason always batted his eyelashes and said that imitation was the best form of flattery, whenever he personally broke the internet.

Back to the issue at hand, Jason watched as Arushi seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. "Your mean. If you expect me tutor you, you'll have to work on your attitude. And you'll have to put in more than one hour a week if you actually expect for your grade to come up. And we can meet in the school library, as I walk home."

Jason could feel a shark like grin taking over his face. "You got backbone. I like that. And one hour on Tuesdays is all I have to offer, so take it or leave it. I do work full time you know. Besides, if your not cutting it, the live in Geek Squad can always have a go at it. I'm pretty sure that Tiny Tim is known around here for being some sort of genius. And Dickwad is pretty smart when he wants to be too. As is the Old Man. Hell, my younger brother could probably do this shit if he was given the proper motivation."

It took a moment for the girl to grasp what he was saying. "Your brother is Tim Drake. Why do you need my help? He's like the best Mathlete this school has ever seen!"

Jason snorts. "So he keeps reminding us. I'm surprised he doesn't get his ass kicked more when he brags about that shit. Probably helps that everyone knows that his younger brother is 'Damian the Demon" and that his older brother is well, me."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Jason's eyes narrowed. "Something about me needing social interaction. Stratten's worried that I'll turn into the next Joker. Apparently that's what happens when your a chem wiz that seems to specialize in explosives."

Arushi's eye twitched. Jason saw it and couldn't help but smirk. "I'll see you Tuesday Chica. And for your sake, I hope you don't bore me."

Jason could only imagine the look on her face as he walked away sending a small two finger wave over his shoulder. Tuesday would be interesting.

###

Jason walked into the library with sunglasses perched on his nose and his motorcycle helmet hanging from the fingertips of his left hand. Slipping off the sunglasses, he expertly hung them from the front of his shirt while winking at the librarian. So he had a thing for librarians. Sue him.

Glancing around, he noticed that Arushi was sitting in a corner desk with her stuff spread around her. Jason was glad that she chose that desk, it was hidden by all of the bookshelves and there was an accessible crawlspace hidden in the ceiling tiles. Strategically, it was the best desk in case of an ambush.

Tossing his helmet down, Jason plopped himself down next to the girl, making her jump. Smirking slightly, Jason took out his math textbook and a notebook. "So what the fuck do I need to do to get out of this bullshit?"

Arushi blinked slightly. "Let's start with the homework? Let me know if you have questions I guess."

Jason rolled his eyes. Even Dick was a better tutor than that, and the asshole got distracted by shiny things. Jason liked to put his keys on the table and watch as Dick would lose his train of thought as he stared at them. That's not to say that Dick wasn't laser focused when it counted. Both Dick and Nightwing seemed to be at their best when the pressure to perform was the highest.

Taking out a pencil, Jason breezed through his math homework before presenting it to his tutor. She gave him a shocked look, and Jason couldn't help but smirk. "I don't do homework or classwork. With the way the class's grade is weighted, I'm barely passing despite the fact that I ace each test. The only reason you got assigned to be my tutor, was to make me do my homework. Or did you think that I was the only one of Bruce Wayne's charity cases that wasn't extremely smart?"

Arushi didn't get to answer, because at that moment gunmen flooded into the library. Jason immediately pulled down his tutor and covered her mouth. Taking stock of what was around him, Jason quickly grabbed his backpack and dumped the contents, before strapping it on the girl. Taking his motorcycle helmet, he held it confidently in his dominant hand, before standing up and flattening himself against the bookshelf. Seeing that Arushi was about to open her mouth, he sent her a quick glare, hoping the message, _SHUT THE FUCK UP!_ was clearly understood.

On cue, one of the gunmen rounded the corner, and Jason brutally swung the motorcycle helmet down on his head. The man crumpled, and Jason quickly stripped him of his walkie talkie, before climbing up the bookshelf, pushing aside the ceiling tile, and hauling himself into the crawlspace. Hooking his legs over one of the beams, Jason swung upside down and grabbed the handle of the backpack he had placed on Arushi before hauling her up and into the crawlspace. He had to remember to thank Dick later for forcing him to learn how to do the trapeze, because otherwise he would have never been able to pull that off.

Quickly replacing the ceiling tile, Jason put a finger to his lips and checked his phone. Shit. They had jammed the phones. Jason slowly began to shuffle in the direction where he knew Tim and his dorky friends were having a Mathletes meeting. Hopefully the gunmen had taken one look at the scrawny teenagers and only put one man on the classroom. While Tim would normally be able to knock them out, he probably couldn't do so without drawing suspicion. Jason on the other hand could. He was known for getting into fights and for his former life as a street rat. The only problem was the girl quietly following behind him.

Jason turned around when she pulled on his pants. When he noticed that she was about to ask him a question, he immediately covered her mouth and pulled out his phone, opening the _NOTES_. The last thing he needed was for their cover to be blown.

 **We are going to find my dorky brother. If anyone can figure out a way to get the phones working again, it would be him. Just focus on being quiet and following me. And for the love of God, don't do anything stupid. In this case, I'm the tutor and your the stupid student, you got that?**

Jason wanted to smirk at the indignant look on her face, but decided that it was highly inappropriate given what was going on. And he really didn't need Arushi to realize how calm he was right now. After all, it was just another day in the office right? Well, except for the fact that he wasn't currently wearing a kevlar bodysuit with metal plating. Nor did he have a single gun. Man, he really wanted to steal the AK-47 that the gunman was carrying, but Arushi would have probably freaked out. On the bright side, he did have a Swiss Army Knife in his pocket. Now his usual hunting knife, but it would do.

Finally, they were over the Mathlete's classroom. Giving Arushi a small glare, that hopefully reminded her to be quiet, Jason opening the knife and used it to slowly and silently shift the ceiling panel so that he could see. What he saw made him grin. There was only one gunman, and the idiot was standing directly below Jason. Even better, all the mathletes were on the far side of the room, undoubtedly Tim's doing. Shifting the panel completely out of the way, Jason caught Tim's eye and winked. Jumping down, Jason crashed right into the gunman, sending them both sprawling to the floor. The man scrambled for his gun,but Jason was quicker, kicking it out of the man's reach, and stabbing him in the thigh. The big baby, shrieked, and Jason wasted no time wrapping a muscular arm around the guy's neck and choking him out.

When the gunman was suitably unconscious, Jason let go, grabbed his pocket knife, and used his pants to wipe the blade clean. Turning to face the startled mathletes, Jason nodded. "Yo. What's up?"

###

Jason was bored. After helping Arushi down from the ceiling, using the Dork Squad's shoelaces to tie up the gunman and using the Duck Tape from the teacher's desk to tape the fucktard's mouth shut, his role was officially over. Now, he sat twiddling his pocket knife in his hands as Tim and the Merry Band of Geeks used the two radios, a piece of gum, the overhead projector, and the zipper from Jason's poor backpack to create a device that would counteract the jamming device the gunmen were using. Honestly, it was all gibberish to Jason, and he stopped listening after Tim asked for his zipper.

He barely noticed when Arushi sat down next to him and offered him a smile. "That was amazing. Not one of the most coordinated fights that I've ever seen, but you still beat two gunmen."

Jason rolled his eyes. If he was his alter ego, he would have been more brutally effective. But Jason Todd wasn't supposed to know how to land with cat-like stealth and how to hit a pressure point to instantly knock a man out, and how to dismantle a gun in five seconds flat. However, Jason Todd had grown up in the worst part of Gotham, so it would hardly surprise anyone if he knew how to fight dirty.

Side-eying Arushi, he said, "You're remarkably calm for someone who's in this fuckfest. Even Timmy's nerd friends are freaking out."

Arushi shrugged. "Bad things happen to good people in this city. I always figured that I'd be one of them."

"That's dark."

Arushi shrugged. Jason turned to stare at Tim as he comforted a crying nerd. "Bad things happen to good people in this city, huh? But good things happen to good people too. Bruce Wayne is the best man I know, and life fucked him over when he was a kid. But life also gave him me, Damian, Tim and Dick. And sure, life fucked us over too, but it also gave us each other, and honestly, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. So yeah, bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. But good things also happen to good people, so don't fucking give up that easily. You gotta fight for the good stuff, or you're only gonna get the bad stuff."

Arushi offered him a watery smile, and Jason began to return the smile when he noticed that everyone was staring at him, including the fucking gunman, who must have woken up sometime when he was speaking to Arushi.

Giving everyone a dark glare, Jason growled, "What the fuck are you looking at? Get back to work so that we can call the cops. I'd like to go home at some point today!"

Immediately all the nerds turned back to their assigned task. Turning to look at the gunman, Jason increased the intensity of his glare. "Don't make me come over there and knock you out again."

The gunman immediately started to shake his head, and Jason turned away satisfied that he had scared the living daylights out of the bastard. Now, his only problem was his smirking brother. "Don't worry Jay. I won't let Bruce hear the recording of you calling him the best man you know. For a price."

Jason's eye twitched as he waited for Tim to name his price. "Next time Dick wants to do a brotherly bonding day with me, you have to volunteer to take my place."

Jason didn't bother to respond, rather choosing to slam his head onto the desk in front of him while Tim cackled like a hyena. There would be revenge when Tim least expected it. He could guarantee it.

Luckily, a nerd decided to use that moment to announce that the gizmo was up and running. Jason took out his phone a dialed a well known number, knowing that Tim would already be alerting the Batcomputer. "Commissioner Gordon? Jason Todd. There's a hostage situation at school."

###

One hour later, Jason was getting a cut examined by an EMT, while Tim talked to the Commissioner. Seeing a black limo pull up, Jason swatted the EMT's hands away, stood up, and went to grab Tim. Giving one last nod to the Commissioner, Jason pulled Tim towards the limo, only slowing when he noticed Arushi being attended to by another EMT while two people, most likely her parents, hovered over her. "Next Tuesday, we study at my house. I'll give you a ride there and back."

Arushi gave him a stunned look before a smile broke out across her face. "Deal!"

Jason quirked a small smile before turning away and sending a small two finger wave over his shoulder. Perhaps Stratten's idea of social interaction wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to him. Not that he would ever tell her.

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 **A/N: So an explanation of my absence...long story short, I was really sick, then I had midterms...then I was really sick...then I had more midterms...then I was in the hospital...then I had finals...and here we are today! I thank the people who sent me PM's asking if I was okay...I responded today. I would've responded earlier but I wasn't on the site for the last few months. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it and I hope to update again soon.**

 **Okay...let me know what your most looking forward to for Winter break!**

 **I'm looking forward to spending stress free (hopefully) time with my family and my best friend, who is also home on winter break.**


	58. Santa Baby (part 1)

**Santa Baby (part 1)**

Dick shoved his brothers to the side slightly so that he could join them in staring at what was currently sleeping in his stocking. Maybe he was a little too hasty in thinking that nothing could surprise him anymore.

Jason experimentally poked it. "What is that?"

Tim sniffed. "I think we all know what _that_ is. The real question is why it is here?"

"I told you Santa Claus was some sort of molester! Look what he gave Grayson! Is this some kind of joke!" Damian shrieked. His angry cries awakened the thing in his stocking.

It made some sort of cooing noise and Dick cocked his head to the side. "It's kinda cute. Look! There's a note attached to it!"

Dick, being the eldest, was elected to cautiously remove the note from its place next to the little beast. Clearing his throat, he read it out loud, making sure to keep one eye firmly glued to the thing residing in his stocking. He definitely needed to ask Alfred to buy him a new stocking. This one was going to the incinerator after they got rid of it's occupant.

 _My Dearest Love,_

 _Our tender love has resulted in…_

 _Oh man I'm laughing already! I can just see your face Dick! Okay, this is where the letter really starts. Dick. Surprise! You are officially the Godfather to one Lian Harper. Long story short, I haven't told Ollie yet about his 'Granddaughter' and he called me for a mission. Since it is Christmas, her usual sitter can't watch her today, which is why I'm leaving her in your tender and hopefully capable care. Please do not allow Bruce to find out, as I can only imagine the amount of carnage when he inevitably tells Oliver. Oh. And do not allow Jason or Damian to watch her unsupervised. I'm pretty sure that they will corrupt her._

 _Thanks Dick! I owe you one!_

 _Roy_

Dick stared horrified at the cooing baby in his stocking. He was supposed to watch her? All day! He had no experience with babies! And how was he supposed to prevent Bruce from finding out? He lived with the man for Pete's sake! Not to mention the guy was scarily perceptive. Bruce would probably only have to look at him to know that he was hiding something.

Speak of the devil. Dick panicked as he watched Bruce sleepily wander down the stairs. Unsure of what else to do, Dick grabbed his stocking and gently shoved Lian down so that she was not visible. Luckily, she seemed to like that, and merely squirmed around. Dick briefly wondered if Roy had taken to shoving her in places when Ollie randomly popped by his apartment.

Shaking his head to dispel his thoughts. Dick stealthily tried to sneak past Bruce and back up the stairs, his brothers in tow. Unfortunately, Bruce raised a hand to stop him. "Dick, why is your stocking moving?"

"Um...I found a bat. Tim kindly reminded me that I'm not allowed to have a pet because I have yet to keep a houseplant alive for longer than two months."

Bruce blinked and was about to ask another question, but all four of his sons were already gone. Shrugging it off, Bruce continued his way to the kitchen. They were acting weird, but that wasn't exactly out of the norm. It was common knowledge that his sons were strange. More than likely, they all forgot to buy him a Christmas gift again and were struggling to come up with a last second idea. Though that wouldn't explain the stocking. Maybe Dick was helping Damian sneak in another cat? Though that would not explain Tim and Jason's involvement. He would watch them for now, and intervene before they blew something up. Again. He supposed that some would consider it a good thing that he was never bored. Personally, he thought that he could use a little boredom in his life.

###

Dick sagged against his door holding the stocking to his chest. Lian's little head poked it's way out and she gave him a gummy grin. Dick gave her a grin in return and felt his confidence go up. He took care of his younger brothers all the time, he could definitely take care of Lian for the day! Besides, Lian seemed like a mellow baby, and if Roy could take care of her, than Dick definitely could!

Tim, being well, Tim, just had to ruin it for him. "How exactly are we going to keep Lian a secret from Bruce? It's Christmas! He'll be suspicious if we're not all rushing down for presents soon!"

Jason frowned as he watched Dick pace around his room, clutching Lian to his chest, her tiny body still engulfed in Dick's stocking. Seeing his brother freak out, Jason let out a dramatic sigh and stood up from his very comfortable place sprawled across Dick's bed. "I'll take care of it. Don't forget, my superpower is pissing Bruce off to the point that he forgets everything else."

Dick bit his lip. "I don't want you to start a fight with Bruce on Christmas of all times. It's supposed to be a day of family and love."

"You're so sappy Grayson. Why can't you except that today's society values Christmas as a day to receive gifts and nothing more?"

Tim cleared his throat and hastily. He really needed to change the topic before Dick could lecture them on the true meaning of Christmas. "I don't know if Jason fighting with Bruce will be enough to distract him from the fact that all of us are missing."

"I will argue with you and Todd than, Drake. That will sufficiently distract Father. Grayson can be his usual self, and act distressed by our fighting. The real problem will be keeping Pennyworth unaware of Harper."

Dick frowned but nodded. He supposed that he could hide Lian from Bruce for Roy's sake. Bruce would probably rub the fact that he knew about Lian's existence in Ollie's face. The man seemed to get under Bruce's skin.

Lian made a gurgling sound before scrunching up her nose and starting to cry. Dick looked at his brothers helplessly. "I think the real problem is that none of us know how to take care of a baby!"

Tim couldn't help but message his temples. It was going to be a very long day. Roy would owe all of them for this. Big time. Tim could only hope that they all made it out of this alive. Bruce wasn't exactly known for his patience, and the smirk Damian and Jason were sharing would make the jolliest of people say Bah Humbug. Watching as Dick fussed over the baby frantically, Tim sighed loudly. Yes. It was going to be a very long day.

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 **A/N: Okay this is a combination of _WazupRose_ and _FlapperWombat_ suggestions. **

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 **Has anyone else ever noticed that all four Batbros have a last name that could double as a first name? I mean, I know a Grayson and a Drake. My brother is friends with a Wayne, and my Dad's friend is named Todd. Sadly, they are not brothers, nor do they have alter egos as super cool nonpowered superheroes. As far as I know.**

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 **Thanks everyone for all the supportive comments that I received! It really made my day! It also made me realize that I have never (maybe once or twice) gotten a review that hurt my feelings or that made me feel bad about myself. And that made me really thankful, because I was reading a story the other day that I thought was really good, and there were some nasty reviews. I guess it just struck me that I have really awesome and understanding fans, and I'm really glad that you guys are so nice to me! I don't know, there is not really a point to this rambling comment, but I think that because it is the holiday season, it is important to recognize the things that you are thankful for. So here is me, recognizing how awesome every single one of you is, and hoping that you guys are having an amazing Winter Break (or whatever you call it).**


	59. Santa Baby (part 2)

**Santa Baby (part 2)**

Jason stared at his older brother in disbelief. Did he just suggest using one of Damian's may dog leashes on poor Lian? What was Roy thinking when he decided to make Dick the Godfather? Apparently the man didn't know how to handle children younger than three. And while there was some merit to using leashes on small children (was it possible to leash Robin so he wouldn't disappear into the shadows during patrol?), Lian wasn't even mobile yet!

Jason groaned loudly. "New plan. I piss the Old Man off, Tim and Damian fight, and Dick gets stuck as mediator while I take care of the child. Otherwise, the poor thing will likely go home with PTSD."

Dick looked visibly relieved. "Sounds good. I'll watch her while you guys bring the mayhem."

"Perhaps I may of assistance Young Masters. I do not believe that any of you have experience dealing with such a young child."

Dick gasped and turned around, startled by the sudden appearance of the trusty Butler. He wasn't sure what he should be feeling. On one hand, Roy wanted Lian to be a secret. On the other, Alfred was life. He was the air that they breathed, he was the light at the end of a dark tunnel, he was a breeze on a summer's day, he was...well the point is that Alfred was a god, and they obviously needed his help. Which is how the new updated version of their plan formed. This one obviously including the Batler himself.

###

Bruce was growing more and more suspicious by the minute. It was Christmas. And his boys weren't dragging him to the tree so that they could rip open their presents. In fact, they weren't even in sight. Which was even more worrying. Add in fact that the manor was completely silent, and Bruce was getting up to begin the his track up the stairs.

His thoughts were interrupted by a brawling Tim and Damian. He was trying to separate them, when Jason came out of his room yelling about something being Bruce's fault, and that he was going to pay. He barely had time to block, before Jason was taking a wild swing at him. That in itself was odd. Normally, when Jason attempted to punch him, his form was superb. This time, it was almost like he wanted to be blocked. Not that it really mattered, either way Bruce was going to take a swing back.

His musings were cut short by Dick arriving and yelling at them. Bruce really hated that his son was giving him lectures, but he had to admit that they did deserve it. This time. Though he could have lived without the whole "True meaning of Christmas" lecture. Dick himself was guilty of focusing on the gifts, there was no need for him to be hypocritical.

What was odd, was that Alfred hadn't appeared. Normally, the man would stand beside Dick, and the two would be a united front of parental authority. Which was ironic, since he was their father. Though Dick did receive Mother's Day cards from his brothers. And a few Teen Titans. And a few members of the Justice League. Well technically, Nightwing received them, but same difference.

Dick's lecture seemed to be winding down. Normally, at this point of time, Jason, Damian, and Tim looked the image of guilt and repentance. But not this time. They simply glared at each other before storming out of the car as fast as they had entered it. Bruce sat there bewildered, while Dick rubbed his eyes with a pained expression. "I'll go play mediator. If I were you, I'd go down to the basement for a while. I don't know what is going on, but at the very least, Jason is pissed at you. I don't need you accidently making it worse."

Bruce would have refuted the statement if he hadn't known exactly how true it was. The last thing that he needed was to make things worse and have to listen to Clark fucking Kent tell him what a disappointment he was for a father. Like the man had any room to talk. He could barely handle Jason when the boy was on his best behavior. Try adding Damian and Tim to the mix. And don't get him started on Dick. The young man might be on his best behavior for his favorite 'uncle', but he was far from a saint. Dick might play mediator, but he could raise problems and hell faster than his other siblings combined if he put his mind to it.

Which is how Bruce found himself sulkily watching security feeds from the manor from his cave on Christmas. He had a feeling that everything was not as it seemed, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. Fast.

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 **A/N: This was supposed to be posted yesterday as a Happy Birthday to me thing...but I forgot to post it. Oops.**

 **Question: Who would you cast in your own Batman movie?**

 **My Answer: I have no fucking clue...maybe a younger Matt Bomer as Dick Grayson? I personally think he has the right body build and the eyes.**


	60. Santa Baby (part 3)

**Santa Baby (part 3)**

Dick had a sinking feeling that they hadn't managed to fool Bruce. Not really at least. The guy was a genius. It took weeks to carefully come up with a plan of attack on how to execute a surprise birthday party. And even then, it was a fifty-fifty chance that it would be an actual surprise. Point being, trying to hide Lian from Bruce was probably pointless, and was pointlessly stirring up trouble.

Damian must have seen the indecision on his face, because he scrunched up his small nose (cutely in Dick's opinion) and marched over to him. "Don't chicken out now Grayson! We've come too far for you to back out now. We must continue to deceive Father! That idiot Harper put his trust in our ability to keep secrets, we must uphold the Bat Clan's name!"

Dick thought that might have been reading a little too much into Roy's decision to allow them to babysit, but there was no way that he was going to tell Damian that. Especially when there was the threat of violence in his eyes. Nobody could say that Damian didn't act like a feral cat cat half the time. One had to know how to properly approach him, so that they didn't end up maimed. So far, Dick and Alfred were the only ones that knew how to handle Damian properly. He hoped that his brothers and father would figure it out soon.

Giving Damian, his best smile, Dick turned to look at Jason who was busy fussing over Lian. He never suspected that badass Jason would make the best parent. Well maybe he should have. Jason doted on his guns, more than most parents doted on their children.

Once again, Dick was lost in his musings. He almost missed the sound of the clock in Bruce's study opening, and the man stepping out. Giving a jaunty wave to his brothers, Dick hurried down the stairs and down the long hallway to Bruce's office. Slowing, he ran a hand through his hair and tried to appear casual as he intercepted Bruce leaving his study.

"Hey there Dad. Back already? I half expected you to brood all day."

Dick really hoped that Bruce didn't notice the hint of frantic energy in his voice. The last thing he needed was for Bruce to start interrogating him.

"Well. I decided to act in the spirit of Christmas and attempt to make peace with Jason. Have you managed to figure out what Tim and Damian were fighting about?"

Dick ran a hand through his hair. "Not really. Can we talk?"

Bruce frowned but nodded. Dick pushed past his father and into the study behind him. He honestly had no clue what he was going to say, but hopefully it wouldn't be the truth. "Hypothetically, how would one tell their parental figure that they have been raising a child for a year without telling them." Okay, so much for not telling the truth. He would just have to roll with it. "I'm asking for a friend of course."

"Of course. Is there a specific reason your friend didn't tell his parental figure about his kid?"

Dick paused. How much could he tell Bruce without revealing that it was Roy? Bruce might tell Ollie just to piss him off. "He's afraid of disappointing him. They just got back on good terms and he doesn't want to ruin that."

"The only way your friend can disappoint his father is by not trusting that his father would love that grandchild with everything he's got."

Dick sat quietly and absorbed the information he was given. "I think he's afraid of how reactionary and emotionally childish his father can be. What if he says something he doesn't mean?"

Bruce sat there quietly for a moment. "I think it's a risk that your friend needs to take."

Dick nodded, and the two sat in compatible silence.

###

Bruce paced in the kitchen next to Alfred. The boys were all upstairs somewhere, and he was using this moment to use Alfred as a sounding board. "I think Dick has a secret love child. He was asking me weird things today. About a 'friend' who had a kid and didn't tell his father because he was afraid of disappointing him."

Alfred simply raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure that Master Dick would tell you if he were to have a child, Master Bruce. He loves and trusts you, and your relationship is much better than it was a few years ago."

"But he said that his 'friend' was afraid of how reactionary and emotionally childish his father was!"

Alfred sighed deeply. Miss Lian was turning out to be a lot of trouble. It was almost amusing how such an intelligent man could misinterpret a situation that badly. "I'm sure that Master Dick will reveal more to you. He already revealed this information, perhaps it was his way of testing you?"

"Good point Alfred. I'll just have to wait for him to tell me more."

"I would advise you not to rush him Master Bruce. I do believe that would have the opposite effect than desired."

Bruce nodded. "I won't rush him. I want to meet my grandchild."

###

Dick sighed as he collapsed into the armchair. Lian had suddenly disappeared and after Dick, his brothers, and Alfred, had frantically searched the manor for thirty minutes, they had found a note from Roy stating that he had picked up his daughter. Dick of course had sent a very strongly worded text message to his friend. The guy could have said hello. And properly introduced him to his goddaughter.

Dick barely looked up when Bruce shuffled into the room. Giving his father a small smile, he waited while Bruce settled down across from him. Bruce looked really uncomfortable, and kept shifting around in his seat. He looked as if he was waiting for Dick to say something.

Dick raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair. Bruce paused, as if debating something in his head before opening his mouth and closing it again. Finally, he said, "You trust me, right?"

Dick gave him a wry smile. "Considering our nightlife, I would have to say that I trust you with my life."

Bruce nodded. More to himself, than actually acknowledging him. "I want to meet my grandchild."

Dick blinked at him, before bursting out laughing. "Seriously? You took our conversation to mean that I was hiding a secret love child?"

When Bruce continued to stare at him, Dick stopped laughing. "Wait you serious? I don't have a kid! I was asking because Roy's hiding his daughter from Ollie! And he had us babysit her today! It was the first I had heard about my goddaughter! And I wasn't supposed to tell you about her existence, so Roy's gonna murder me!"

Bruce was silent for a moment. "Oh. I'm glad that you were not hiding a child from me, but I kind of liked the idea of a grandchild."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Wait a few years, and we can talk about it again."

Bruce gave a sigh, and then a small smile. "Deal, Chum. Deal."

###

Roy sighed as he shifted Lian to his other hip. Hearing the phone ring, he moved to answer it before it went to voicemail. Who would be calling this late on Christmas? "Hello?"

"Roy! How could you not tell me about my granddaughter! This is the kind of news that you tell the man who took you in! I shouldn't find out from Bruce, of all people! I mean how did he even know? I have to meet her! Wait. Tell me her name! How old is she? Oh! I'm going to go buy a cake! We have to celebrate! I'll see you in half an hour!"

Roy cursed as he heard the dial tone. Damn Dick. He had one job. How hard was it to keep Bruce out of the loop? Granted. Bruce was Batman, and Batman always seemed to know everything. He should have left Lian with Wally for the day.

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 **A/N: If I explained why I was absent for the last 70 days, it would have a higher word count than this chapter. Rest assured, it was a really good reason. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. And as you probably assumed, this is the last installment of _Santa Baby._**

 **I'm thinking of putting this story as well as my others on AO3. Thoughts?**


	61. Words You Can't Take Back

**Words You Can't Take Back**

Jason was angry. He woke up angry. He ate breakfast angry. He went to school angry. And he came back home extremely angry. He's not even sure why. Not really at least. Maybe it was stress. Or the fact that Batman had yelled at him for being 'too violent' again. It could have been a side effect of the Lazarus Pit, or maybe it had something to do with the death of the sweet old lady that had lived next door to him in Crime Alley. She used to babysit him for free as long as he 'helped' clean her apartment and make cookies. According to police reports it was a robbery gone bad. Jason thought that that was stupid. Nobody in Crime Alley had anything worth stealing.

In the end, it didn't really matter what the cause of his anger was. He just felt angrier than he had felt in a long time. Not even a cigarette had managed to calm him. So when Dick's stupid smiling face had popped up beside him on the roof, Jason knew that he was about to cause damage.

Rationally, he knew that if he were to tell Dick about the out of control anger flowing through his veins, his older brother would leave him alone and be sure to make the others stay clear of him as well. But something inside of him was itching for a fight. He wanted the anger to have a target. He wanted Dick's perfect, smiling, happy face, to contort with shocked anger. He wanted Dick to hurt just as badly as he did. So he said nothing.

Dick gave him a fake stern look. "Smoking will kill you, you know."

Jason snarled. "Been there, done that. Remember? You weren't there to protect me like you promised."

Dick spluttered, his eyes wide. "I was off world with the Titans! If you had waited—no. I'm not going to get into this and fight with you."

"Yeah, you were 'off world'. It's not like you didn't hate me. What, couldn't handle that Bruce might love me more? Or was it that I was better than you?"

"It wasn't like that! I never hated you!"

Jason let out a sarcastic laugh. "Right. Cause you welcomed me with such open arms. You loved me so much, right?"

Dick groaned and rubbed a hand down his face. "It wasn't you, Jason. It was never about you. It was about me, and it was about Bruce. You weren't really on my radar."

Jason felt the anger start to boil within him. He wasn't even on Dick's radar? How was that not supposed to be insulting? "I think you just couldn't handle the fact that Bruce made me Robin. Just like he made you. You thought you were so special, that Bruce gave you a name, and then he gave it to me. You weren't worth nearly as much as you made yourself out to be."

Jason felt some sort of savage glee as he watched Dick's face shutter. Instead of contorting in rage like he expected, Dick's face went carefully blank. He stood up slowly, and barely turned to look at Jason when he spoke. "Yes Jason. That's definitely what I thought. Here's an idea. Go ask Bruce how he came up with the name Robin. I think you might be surprised."

With that, Dick vaulted himself off of the roof. Jason had to prevent himself from rushing to the edge and checking on his brother. Instead, he casually walked over to the edge of the roof and tossed his cigarette. Casually scanning the ground, Jason felt a small amount of relief when he didn't spot Dick's body on the ground. At least, his brother wasn't mad enough at him to do something stupid.

The rage in his body cooled down to a simmer. He needed to figure out what the hell Dick was talking about. And the only way to do that, was too talk to Bruce. But first, he needed to calm down. He could hardly handle Bruce on a normal day, and Dick made it sound like this was something that was going to shake his world. He needed to be prepared. That called for another cigarette. Or two.

###

Jason found Bruce in his study. Despite his initial confidence, Jason found himself shifting awkwardly as he awaited Bruce's acknowledgement. When the man finally looked up at him, Jason sat down in one of the chairs, gesturing for Bruce to join him. He didn't know what to say. He didn't really want to dredge up old history, but something about this was nagging him. Like he was missing the obvious.

Letting out a loud sigh, Jason tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling. Maybe, he would find the words he was looking for in the paint. Surprisingly, it was Bruce that started the conversation. "Jason. Is there something you would like to ask me?"

Jason found some comfort in the fact that Bruce was always so straightforward. "Where did the name _Robin_ come from?"

Jason watched as Bruce closed his eyes. He had a pained look on his face, and for the life of him, Jason could not figure out why. "Why are you asking? Now of all times?"

"Dick and I had a fight. He told me to ask you."

"Right before the anniversary of his parents' death too."

Jason felt his eye twitch. Maybe he wasn't as calm as he should have been before starting this conversation. Nobody ever accused him of being patient. "Get to the point Old Man."

Bruce sighed, and his shoulders slumped forward. "You want to know the truth about the origin of Robin. Well, the truth is that it wasn't mine to give away. It belonged to Dick. That's why Dick was so angry. It had nothing to do with you. He was angry that I had taken the name his mother had given him, and given it to another kid that he didn't know."

Jason felt as if the floor had opened up beneath him. "His mother?"

"Mary Grayson's pet name for Dick was Robin. He wanted his name to mean something. And by the time you came around, Batman and Robin was a thing already. So I stuck with it."

"You knew it would make Dick angry though. So why didn't you change the name?"

"Dick had moved to Bludhaven as 'Nightwing' and I thought he didn't need me anymore. Alfred said that my 'abandonment issues' caused me to lash out. I knew what would hurt him the most, and I used it."

Jason groaned. "No wonder he was so mad at me. I said some awful stuff."

Bruce hummed non committedly. "Perhaps you'll apologize when he gets back in a week."

"Back from where?"

"Like I said. The anniversary of his parents' death is coming up. Dick always takes a vacation at this time of the year for some 'soul searching'. He has never told me where he goes, but he has come home early if there was a serious emergency."

"You have no idea where he goes?"

"I have a rough idea, but he has never said anything to me. Dick's a grown man, he knows how to reach me if he's in trouble."

Jason sighed. Looks like he had a week to practice his apology. At least the mirror never judged him.

###

The mirror may not have judged him, but his brothers certainly did. Jason had no idea how they found out, but he should have expected it. Nothing stays secret long in the Bat Clan. Despite how hard Bruce tried.

That wasn't even the real problem. The real problem was that Dick had returned and refused to speak to him. Jason was beginning to suspect that Dick was sleeping over at a "lady friend's" because he was literally never home.

So as a semi sane and debatably rational adult, Jason stalked Nightwing during patrols. Nightwing had no intention of allowing the Red Hood to speak to him either. He took out thugs with quick and brute efficiency before grappling away. Red Hood was left to attach a tracker for the cops. On the bright side, the thugs made very good listeners. Though the gags did prevent them from adding input. Luckily.

It took three whole days, and a fake emergency before Jason was finally able to corner Nightwing. And by corner, he means tackle and pin down on top of the roof of Wayne Towers.

Nightwing immediately started to buck and squirm, but Red Hood had a few inches and forty pounds on him. Finally, he stilled and yelled, "Get off, Jackass!"

Red Hood knew better than to react, but couldn't help it. "That's not very big brotherly, Goldie. Aren't you supposed to be setting a good example?"

Nightwing snarled. Pulling off some sort of weird contortion that Red Hood didn't think was possible, Nightwing was able to roll out from beneath him. He was halfway across the roof before Red Hood managed to call, "Wait. Please?"

Nightwing stopped but didn't look at him. "Why?"

Red Hood sat down and took off his helmet. He glanced around before peeling off his mask and 'becoming' Jason Todd. Nightwing noticed and frowned slightly before joining him and taking off his own mask. They sat down in slightly uncomfortable silence for multiple minutes as Jason struggled to find all the words that he wanted to say to Dick. Finally, he settled on: "I'm sorry I'm such an asshole sometimes. The things I said to you were unexcusable, even if they had been correct. I should have asked. Especially because I know what an awesome brother you are, you wouldn't have been an ass without a good reason."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Little Wing, I know you never asked, and I never told you because I didn't want to start another fight between me and Bruce, or worse, you and Bruce. I just don't understand the reason you chose to say those things to me, if not to hurt me."

Jason looked down at his hands and bit his lip. "Sometimes, I get angry. Really angry, and all I want to do is make someone else feel the same way. And I was on the roof trying to cool down, and then you showed up with your stupid smiling face, and that just made me even angrier. I wanted to tell you to leave, that I needed some time to get my head on straight, but then you said something about me smoking, and all I wanted to do was to make you feel what I felt."

Dick pulled him into a tight hug, and Jason couldn't help but sag with relief. "Jay." Dick spoke slowly, as if afraid to spook him. "I think, that it might be helpful if you talked to someone. Maybe Dinah or Sillena? You've been through so much, and you've gotten so so so much better. But maybe they could teach you a better way to process."

Jason couldn't help but stiffen, and Dick immediately ran a soothing hand down his back. "I don't want to."

"Okay. Can we compromise?"

Jason couldn't help but lift his head to look at his brother. "Compromise?"

"Would you consider it, if it was a group session? With the whole family?"

"Even Bruce?"

Dick couldn't help but grin. "If you want Bruce there, I will make sure that he attends. Even if I have to drug him, strip search him, and then tie him to the chair."

Jason raised an eyebrow. Was the strip search really necessary? His brother must have seen the question written on his face because he grinned. "Bruce is a slippery bastard. He'll have something hidden in his clothing to help him escape."

Jason couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing. "I'm not saying yes, but I'll think about it."

Before Dick could respond, they heard the small crackle of thee comms and Red Robin saying, "Now that the BFF's have made up, can we get on with this patrol?"

"And put your masks back on. Honestly Grayson, have you no common sense? Todd is a moron, but I expected better of you."

"No names in the field, Robin. And Nightwing, I prefer if you never refer to me as a slippery bastard again."

If Dick ever claimed that Jason was grinning as he put his mask back in place and then slipped his helmet back on, then he was a liar. "Is there any fucking privacy around here? I was trying to make up with the asshole, not provide entertainment for you bastards."

"Language Red Hood!"

Jason looked around, so that he could flip off his older brother, but to nobody's surprise, the bastard was long gone. Smirking slightly to himself, Jason ran across the roof and launched himself into the unforgiving Gotham night. His family was a bunch of assholes, but they were his assholes.

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 **A/N: Okay...this took me multiple days to write, and its not even that long. I don't know, I just had a little trouble, but I think it turned out okay.**

 **Next Chapter:**

 **The JL does not know that their mysterious and very scary colleague has a personal life. And** ** _children?!_**

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 **Reviews make my day and make me type faster (LOL not really, but you never know).**


	62. You Have Kids?

**You Have Kids?**

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 **A/N: Batman just joined the JLA and they have no idea that he has kids! Some language, but not really compared to some of my other chapters.**

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Batman didn't know how he always ended up in these situations. Normally he had Jason to blame, but this time his son was nowhere near him, as he was still in Gotham, while Batman was in space. He wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Dick and Alfred's insistence that he needed to _socialize_ and _make friends._

So here he was, tied back to back to Superman, with his new 'team' tied up around him. There was no real way out of this situation. He needed to activate the emergency signal on his belt. Unfortunately, he couldn't reach it. He really should've taken Dick up on flexibility training. He just never thought of a reason he would actually need it.

Giving up, Batman elbowed Superman. "There's a distress beacon on the back of my belt. Can you reach it?"

The man gave no indication of having heard him. He was moaning in pain due to the shard of kryptonite hanging around his neck. Pansy.

Suddenly, there was a crash and thee sound of automatic gunfire. Batman tensed, aware that a new player had just entered the field. When he heard a familiar cackle, he slumped in his seat. If he could, he would have hidden his face. It just had to be him, didn't it?

On cue, the sliding door opened and in strolled Nightwing. Oblivious, or perhaps ignoring, Batman's embarrassment, he surveyed the room. Grinning like a madman, he turned around and said, "Say _Nightwing_!" Before taking a selfie. Moving soundlessly up to his mentor he said, "One more for my scrapbook!" Bruce's face was totally unamused. Nightwing ignored it and went around untying all the heroes.

"You don't call, you don't write, really B, how am I supposed to know that you're okay?"

Batman kept his face carefully neutral. His new teammates did not need to see him attempting to strangle his son. "You saw me at breakfast today."

"That's way too long. You're lost without me, I mean look at all the trouble you got into!"

Bruce was saved from answering by Flash. "Um. Who exactly are you? How did you get up here? And how did you know to come?"

Nightwing just smiled. "You mean Batman didn't tell you? I'm the original love child with Justice! I am the day to his night! I am the good cop to his perpetual bad cop. I am—"

"Nightwing. Shut up."

"Shutting up." Nightwing mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key.

"Why are you here?"

Nightwing made gestures like he was pretending to speak before Batman gave him a filthy look. At least the others looked amused. He was glad that his humor wasn't completely lost. Batman could be such a stick in the mud. At least Bruce Wayne was fun. Granted Batman was definitely preferred over 'Brucie'. The guy was an idiot. And always seemed to be drunk. A drunken idiot.

"Well...Agent A and I told the three R's that you joined the Justice League. Long story short, none of them believed us. One fell out of his chair laughing, the other said that your fear of socializing would never allow it, and the other claimed that the Justice League was not 'worthy' of your presence. I said that was crap, because hello? Superman? They demanded proof so RR rigged the Zeta Beam not to announce my presence and I hid in the rafters to take incriminating photos. I still can't believe those guys managed to capture you. I got the whole thing on video."

"Do you know who it was?"

"Penguin. Apparently he wanted something that Bruce Wayne doesn't have."

"Wait. Wait. Wait. I'm still stuck on who you are!" Nightwing turned to face the rest of the Justice League with an innocent look on his face. Pointing at himself, he tilted his head and gave his best, _Who Me?_ expression. Batman was rolling his eyes at his antics, he could feel it.

"I thought I made it pretty clear, I'm Tall Dark and Brooding's kid."

If Nightwing liked causing mayhem, he would have been very pleased by the shocked expressions and just how gobsmacked they all looked. As it was, he loved causing mayhem and took a commemorative photo.

Wonder Woman, or as Jason referred to her Wonder Babe, was the first to react. Giving him an appraising look, she smiled softly. "You're so handsome. You must have inherited your mother's good looks."

Nightwing struck a pose. "I know. And I certainly didn't get any from Batman." He was adopted, it was physically impossible for him to inherit Bruce's blue eyes, chiseled jaw, and broad shoulders. But he turned out all right. If the Gotham gossip columns were anything to go by.

The Green Flashlight, again Jason's nickname, squinted at him. "Batman has a kid? How is that possible!"

"Well when a man and a woman love each other very much—"

"Nightwing. Go home."

Nightwing grinned and gave the room a jaunty wave. "Apparently I have to go home now. B, Agent A wants you to come home at a reasonable hour tonight, as you have an early appointment tomorrow. As for the rest of you, don't let the gruff attitude and all the grunts fool you, the man has a heart of gold. Oh, and if you need a conversation starter, ask him how he chose his name!"

The Justice League could only stare as Batman practically dragged a laughing Nightwing to the Zeta Beams and shoved him through. His laughter was still ringing through the room after he disappeared.

Flash blinked. "So that just happened. Did anyone else think that any kids produced by Bats would be a little different? You know, not so...cheery?"

Green Lantern snorted. "I didn't realize it was possible to be so cheery in Batman's presence. I'm more curious about who the three R's are. Do you think…?"

The whole team turned to stare at Batman who was doing his best to ignore them. It was Superman who finally said, "There's no way he has more kids that we don't know about."

The rest of the team nodded. It just wasn't possible, right?

###

The Justice League was on a rare trip to Gotham. There had been a mass Arkham break out, and Batman had been at the Watchtower when they had received the news. He had begrudgingly agreed to allow the Justice League's assistance when they had argued that they were going with or without his permission.

Now Flash was regretting the decision as they slunk outside the sketchy warehouses by the Gotham harbor. It was cold, it was wet, it stank, and something was just not right about this place.

He figured out what was wrong, when they entered a warehouse and the lighting was a weird green purple combination, and manic laughter rang out. Giant playing cards created a labyrinth, and at the center there was a giant bounce house with the grinning face of a jester. Flash could safely say that he was more than a little creeped out.

The manic laughter cut off abruptly, and there was the sound of gunfire. Flash took a moment to get his feet under him, and then rushed forward, hitting dead end after dead end, after dead end. Finally, he managed to get to the bounce house, which had deflated. Standing there, was a man wearing a red helmet. He had a crowbar slung over his shoulder, and was looking down at the two crumpled forms in front of him. A gun was kicked to the side, with a flag sticking out of the barrel. The man looked up at them and crossed his arms. "I didn't kill him."

Flash heard the team approaching behind him and was about to say something when the man on the ground let out a small groan and made a movement, as if he were trying to sit up. The man savagely brought down the crowbar on the guy's head, and the villain was once again unconscious on the ground. The man kicked him for good measure.

Glancing up at the incredulous stares, the man tilted his head. "What? It's not like brain damage will make him any more psycho. If anything, it will be an improvement."

Batman strode out of the shadows and gave thee man an appraising look. "Red Hood. I see you're back from you're 'hot date'."

"Yeah. Turns out she wanted me to introduce her to the Replacement, which is a new one. Normally, they're all after Dickface. Speaking of the Golden Boy, I really enjoyed the photos of you socializing. I especially liked the selfie with you tied up in the background. How did Penguin's goons manage to get the drop on you? Were you flirting with Wonder Babe?"

"Are you one of the three R's?"

The man, Red Hood Flash reminded himself, looked briefly over in Green Lantern's direction. "Shut up Flashlight. The grown ups are having a conversation."

Red Hood turned back to face Batman and took his helmet off, revealing his black hair and a red domino mask. "You seriously didn't tell them Old Man? This is gonna be great." With that, Red Hood marched out of the warehouse, whistling a jaunty tune.

Flash and the rest of the Justice League turned to face Batman expectantly. The man made no move to answer their unasked question. Finally, Wonder Woman asked what they were all thinking. "Batman, who was that?"

Batman pursed his lips slightly. "That was Red Hood. He has a history with the Joker."

Superman cleared his throat slightly. "I think what she meant to ask was who Red Hood is to you."

"He's Nightwing's brother."

Green Lantern nodded thoughtfully. "Oh. Nightwing's brother. That makes sense. Wait. Nightwing's your son. Which means, Nightwing's brother is also your son! Red Hood is your son!"

Batman didn't respond. Instead, he turned around and started to walk away. Before the man melted into the shadows he paused and growled, "Get out of my city."

Wonder Woman turned to face the rest of the Justice League. "Are we agreed that Red Hood is Batman's son?"

Superman nodded. "I think so. They have the same demeanor."

Flash shrugged. "I couldn't believe that he had one kid, and now we find out that he has two? I just hope that more don't creep out of the shadows. I mean, we know that both of the boys are dangerous when they want to be. Nightwing took out all those thugs, the same ones that had defeated us, and Red Hood took out the Joker, who is one of Gotham's most notorious villains. My point is, any more children and Batman could rule the world if he chose to."

The team nodded thoughtfully. They knew how strong Batman was. He was a non-meta that was able to keep up with men that could literally move mountains. He was a martial arts expert and notoriously smart. If his two children were anything like him, the world was in trouble if they ever went to the dark side.

###

Superman hit random keys on the Watchtower computer. The screen remained frozen. Batman was underneath the consul with a tool chest, attempting to rectify the issue. It wasn't working. Superman wasn't sure whether or not the man actually knew what he was doing, or if he was just messing around.

Superman perked his head up at the sound of the Zeta Beam announcing someone named Red Robin. A skinny teen entered the the room, wearing two crossed belts that resembled Batman's, and a black domino mask.

"Who are you?" Superman stood up, ready to defend his vulnerable team mate.

The teen raised an eyebrow at Superman. "Tech support. B, how's it going down there?"

Batman scooted out from under the consul. Standing up, he walked over to the teen. "Why are you here, Red Robin?"

"Nightwing sent me as tech support. He said you could use the assist."

If Superman was able to see under the lead lined cowl, he was certain that he would see Batman raising an eyebrow. "Oh? And how did Nightwing know to send you?"

Red Robin ignored the question and instead took his mentor's former position under the consul. "You have some faulty wiring here. I can see why thee systems froze after I hacked them experimentally."

Superman gaped. The kid hacked the Watchtower? Was that some sort of joke? And why wasn't Batman surprised?

"Uh, why?"

Batman looked over at him like he was just remembering that he was there. Red Robin stuck an arm out from underneath the computer and waved it around. Batman stuck a pair of pliers in his waiting hand, and it disappeared again. "I wanted to create a back door, so that when I need to get into thee system, I can do it a lot quicker."

Superman scratched the back of his neck. "Okay. So how did Nightwing know about our tech issues?"

"Hand me the face mask Boss. You guys should put one on too." A second later, sparks were dancing around the floor and jumping in the air. When they died down, Red Robin slipped out from under the computer and started typing on the still frozen screen.

Glancing at them out of the corner of his eyes, Red Robin smirked. "As for your question, Nightwing placed hidden cameras and microphones everywhere. The dude called me while he was at work. I think that his boss underestimates his productivity. He's always texting and Snapchatting me."

Superman expected Batman to be outraged that his son bugged the Watchtower, instead the man crossed his arms and grumbled, "I thought that I got them all."

"Not even close Bossman. Not even close. I think I got the kinks out of the system, it should be rebooting."

To Superman's amazement, the computer flickered on, a bird symbol lighting up in the middle of the screen. Red Robin gave a self-satisfied smirk and shared a fist bump with Batman. He didn't realize that Batman even knew what a fist bump was, let alone performed them.

The teen was getting ready to leave, when he paused. "Is there any truth to the rumor that Wonder Woman has the 'hots' for Red Hood?"

Superman blinked. What? He voiced that thought.

Red Robin simply shrugged. "I heard it from Catwoman. Apparently it's going around the Iceberg Lounge. No doubt, Red Hood was the one to start it. Or the Demon Brat. He does not like Wonder Woman."

Superman was slightly out of his depth, so he changed the subject. "So do you like computers?"

Red Robin looked at him, and then turned to Batman as if to ask _Is he for real?_ "Uh. Yeah. I like all tech, I'm kinda a genius." Red Robin stated it in a manner that made it clear that it was a fact, and that he was not bragging. "I gotta go. Nightwing's gonna patrol with me tonight. Red Hood said that he was okay to go alone as the kid's sick. You do realize the flu is the only reason that he hasn't come to check on the 'state of the team'."

"Small mercies."

Red Robin nodded before turning around and walking away without so much as a goodbye.

Later, the Justice League minus Batman, gathered in the briefing room. "And you are sure that this Red Robin was also Batman's son?"

Superman looked at Wonder Woman and shrugged. "They didn't actually say, but they certainly acted like it." He decided not to mention that thee villains in Gotham seemed to think that she had a crush on Red Hood. It was better for the safety of all present in the room if she didn't know.

The rest of the team looked really unimpressed with his deduction. "Red Robin talked about both Nightwing and Red Hood like they had a personal relationship. And he mentioned someone named the Demon Brat."

Green Lantern paled. "You don't think…?"

Superman shivered. "No. There can't possibly be another kid." Could there?

###

Green Lantern led as the Justice League filed into the briefing room after thee mission. To his surprise, a child was sitting at the head of the table wearing a domino mask and a black cape. Before the kid could even say anything, Batman growled, "No."

The boy sniffed, and raised his chin. "Father." Several members of the team gasped, but certainly not Hal. He was too manly for that. "I must test this team that you insist on associating with. I must determine whether or not they are worthy enough to be in your presence. First in a test of their minds, and second in battle."

Muffled laughter could be heard coming from the rafters, and Green Lantern found himself staring up at Nightwing, Red Hood, and Red Robin. The three, jumped down from their positions and instead took positions around the table. Or on the table in Nightwing's case. He just sprawled out on his side, and rested his head on his fist. Red Hood at least had the decency to sit in a chair, even if he did tilt it onto the back to legs and put his feet on the table. Red Robin meanwhile, chose to stand and lean against the wall.

Nightwing gave a small smirk, and shrugged. "Sorry. We couldn't miss you guys meeting Robin." The guy didn't sound very sorry. The door opened and an elderly man entered with a small trolley. Nightwing smiled, "Right on time Agent A. I hope you brought popcorn."

"Of course, Master Nightwing."

Green Lantern looked between the group as Agent A handed the three boys popcorn, and they relaxed further into their seats. Meanwhile, Batman seemed to be having a telepathic battle with Robin. The boy slammed his hand down on the table and snarled. "Father! You must allow me to test them a little. Especially that harlot Wonder Woman. I watched all one hundred and fifty three hours of Nightwing's surveillance tapes. She keeps making advances on you! Even though the villains of Gotham have made it quite clear that that whore was all over Red Hood!"

At that point, Robin's little face was red and scrunched up. Nightwing got up, and moved over to his younger brother. Green Lantern watched in amazement as he picked up the struggling boy—holy shit was that a knife?—and gathered him in a hug. The boy seemed to sag into Nightwing's grip, an Nightwing gave everyone the thumbs up.

Red Hood started to curse and pulled a wad of cash out of his boot. He handed it over to Red Robin, who smirked and placed it in his own boot. "Thank you for doing business with me."

Seeing everyone's confused look Red Robin shrugged. "I won a bet."

Nightwing let go of a seemingly pacified Robin, who stayed within a foot of his eldest brother. Realizing that he hadn't heard Wonder Woman say anything in response to Robin's words, he glanced over at her, only to do a double take.

While Robin had seemingly calmed down, the opposite seemed to be true for Wonder Woman. Superman was trying, in vain, to calm her, only for her to bat his hands away. "I am Diana of Themyscira! How dare you talk to me that way?"

Nightwing hastily stood in between the angry amazon and the small child. "Hey. Let's take a step back here. He was just jealous of the attention from Batman that you are getting." Nightwing ignored the indignant cry from behind him. "He's just a kid. You're the adult, so please take a step back and calm down."

When Wonder Woman didn't step back right away, Red Hood stood up, making the chair screech. "I would back the fuck up, woman. You won't like us very much when we're angry." It was then, that Hal noticed that the Bats were all tensed and ready to move at a moment's notice. They were ready to fight if need be, and judging from the confidence in Red Hood's tone, they knew they could win.

Superman laughed awkwardly. "In that moment, you all looked so much like Batman. I can see the family resemblance."

Red Robin cocked his head to the side like a confused bird, "Why would we look like Batman?"

Flash looked at him like he was stupid. "You're his sons, of course you look similar."

Robin scoffed. "I am Father's only blood son."

"The Old Man has a penchant for taking in strays." Red Hood looked totally bored as he delivered the most shocking news in Justice League history. Not only was Batman a father to four boys, three of them were adopted.

Nightwing gave them a soft smile, as if he knew that their minds had just been blown. "Personally, I would describe B as Peter Pan, and we're the Lost Boys. He gave us a home, a purpose. And in a way, we are all stuck at a certain age, and can't grow up. But it doesn't matter, not really at least, because we have each other. And that will always be enough."

Seeing how stiff all of the Bats had gotten, Nightwing made a show of dramatically rolling his eyes. It was so impressive that the man had been able to figure out how to make that visible through the mask. Besides Green Lantern, a voice suddenly spoke up, making Hal and a few other members jump. "Master Nightwing, I do believe that you embarrassed them."

Nightwing laughed softly and shook his head. Even Hal had to admit that the guy was seriously attractive when he did that. "I better get them back to Gotham so that they can beat up villains and a couple of petty thugs to get rid of that warm and fuzzy feeling that they have right now. None of them are equipped to handle it."

Flash tilted his head. "And you are?"

Nightwing was leading his family out of the door, but paused slightly to shake his head. "No. I'm not. But maybe one day."

Green Lantern closed his eyes for a moment and hoped to all things good in the world that the boy with the bright smile could one day find it in himself to accept love. And that he could teach his family how to accept it also. He didn't know the story behind the Goddamn Batman and the four vigilantes he called his children, but something told him that it wasn't something stupid like not being asked to prom. The heroes of Gotham had been born in tragedy, and he prayed that they could heal each other's scars.

On a lighter note, he needed to ask Batman for Nightwing's contact information. He wanted a video of the little Robin shouting at Wonder Woman. The kid was hilarious!

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 **A/N: Well. That's the longest chapter that I've written in quite some time. I hope you guys liked it!**

 **Next is either:**

 **Bruce appears on _Jimmy Kimmel's Mean Tweets_**

 **or**

 **Another fic involving the JLA (they would know who the Bat Clan is)  
**

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 **Please leave a review!**


	63. Jimmy Kimmel Live!

**Jimmy Kimmel LIve!**

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 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fic and my imagination. Therefore, Jimmy Kimmel and all of his hilarity do not blong to me**

"Hi and welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live! I'm your host Jimmy Kimmel, and we have a interesting show for you tonight. As many of you know, we have a special guest tonight: Bruce Wayne! Okay, okay. You can stop clapping now. He might be handsome, and smart, and rich, but this is my show! You're supposed to like me the best! In all seriousness, we do have a great show tonight. Bruce Wayne will be participating in a special live version of mean tweets. What he doesn't know, is that almost all the tweets are from his sons, who are here in the audience tonight. So without further ado, let's welcome Bruce Wayne to the stage!"

###

Bruce scanned the hustling people around him as some nameless tech attached a microphone to his suit. He wasn't sure why all of his sons insisted on sitting in the audience for this interview. They never liked watching these things live before, so what changed? Somehow, he doubted that he was going to like the reason. Their hijinks usually ended up being funny to everyone but him.

Someone led him to a stage entrance and nodded for him to go and sit on the stool. The bright lights prevented him from seeing where in the audience his sons were located, but he knew that they were there somewhere. Watching him. Somehow, that wasn't nearly as comforting as it should be.

Getting his phone out, he opened the email containing the tweets he was going to read. He hadn't seen it yet, but Dick had seemed amused by it, which thinking back, wasn't a good sign.

" **beendeaddonethat** says _I don't remember why I'm mad at him, but my point still stands: fuck you Bruce Wayne!_ Well that's nice. Jason, I thought we talked about the language. Just because you grew up on the streets, doesn't mean you have to talk like it. Especially, when you have a younger, very easily influenced, brother in the house.

"Okay, the next one is from the **thelastFlyingGrayson**. _Bruce Wayne looks like someone who would fart in the middle of a movie and not apologize_." Pausing, Bruce cocked an eyebrow, and smirked at the camera. "I think that you're describing yourself here Richard.

" **imthesmartone** says _You'd think BWayne would learn that grounding his kids bc they had a prank war would make them prank him. I guess we're not all geniuses._ And yet, you still ask my help with your English homework, Timmy. Maybe you should ask someone smarter. Jason has a secret love for the classics. Well, it was a secret until now.

" **thebloodson** thinks that _Father needs to stop parading around with his train of whores and settle down. Preferably with Kyle and not with that harlot Prince._ There is so much that I want to say about this, Damian. But at home, and not when I'm on television.

"Last but not least, **thebutlerdidit** says _Master Bruce, it would be nice if you could end the next prank war before it starts. I'm afraid that I'm getting too old for this._ Bruce opened and closed his mouth, he had no ready response for that. "I'll get right on that Alfred. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Please don't take another vacation."

"Sorry ladies and gentlemen, but we have to go to break now, when we come back, I'll be joined by Bruce Wayne and his sons!"

###

Dick gave a giant grin and small wave as he walked onto the stage following his brothers and father. Unsurprisingly, fangirls went wild, screaming his name. Turning his back on them, he gave Jimmy Kimmel a warm handshake and sat on the couch in between Jason and Damian. Arguably the most deadly spot on the couch.

"So boys. What gave you the idea to do mean tweets about your dad?"

Seeing the subtle looks his brothers gave him, and the not so subtle elbow from Jason, Dick figured he was the one supposed to answer the question. It was probably their one chance to plead Bruce for their lives too. "Well, it's really fairly simple."

Dick barely paused at Jason's murmured, "It is?"

"You see, Bruce always complains about talk shows. He just has done so many that he doesn't have much fun anymore, which is a shame if you ask me. I mean, look how great this crowd is!" Allowing the crowd their moment to cheer and whistle, Dick continued. "So when we heard that he was coming on your show, we decided to do something about it. Tim, the genius that he is, calculated that you would probably be airing a segment of mean tweets, and what would be more funny than mean tweets from your kids? So, we all created twitter accounts and tweeted out mean tweets, hoping to be picked up by the show."

Dick did not mention how Tim hacked a few of the writer's phones and sent them notifications to check out **thelastFlyingGrayson** , **beendeaddonethat** , **imthesmartone** , **thebloodson** , and **thebutlerdidit** 's twitter accounts. It worked out in the long run. They didn't need to talk about the technicalities. Bruce's look told Dick that he knew all about the technicalities.

"As your twitter account username points out, you are the last Flying Grayson. We know that they were amazing acrobats, so my question is do you still have some of those skills."

"We were trapeze artists, though I did a lot of acrobatics too. And yes, I do still practice."

"Do you think that we can get a live demonstration?"

Dick raised an eyebrow as the audience cheered. "In a three piece suit?"

"What? Is that not what you normally wear when you practice?"

"Not at all. Normally I wear gym shorts"

"And what? A tank top?"

Dick smirked as his brothers rolled their eyes. "Just gym shorts. But, we're getting off topic. This is Bruce's interview, not mine. Maybe I'll do a small demonstration next time, if I bring the proper gear. This suit costs more than my parents made in a year. I'm not about to tear it."

Dick gave a small sigh of relief when Jimmy winked and told the executive producer to invite him back quickly before moving on and asking Bruce questions again. Damian was beginning to get twitchy, so Dick ran a soothing hand through his hair. The boy probably wanted to get knives and not hair petting, but he settled for the later.

Glancing around at the audience, Dick inwardly rolled this eyes. Why so many people cared about what Tim's favorite cereal was, was beyond him. They weren't that interesting when you took away their nightlife. Well except for the fact that you had a circus brat, a street rat, an orphaned rich neighbor kid, and an entitled blood son all living under the same roof. Wow. They would make a great reality TV show. Way better than the Kardashians. No offense to them.

Jason must have had some sort of telepathy, because he voiced that thought to Jimmy. Dick looked his brother straight in the eyes and said, "I literally just thought of that! Quick! What am I thinking right now?"

"Your thinking that you hope that I can't actually read your thoughts, but if I can you should move your porn collection."

Dick snorted and shook his head, happy that his tan complection hid his blush. "Not even close. I was wondering if I could convince Bruce to stop for ice cream on the way to the airport."

Jason's eyebrow rose. "Right. Whatever you want to believe Dickface."

Jimmy Kimmel seemed to realize that a major squabble was about to break out, because he interrupted them and said, "And it is time for another commercial break. When we come back, P!NK will be giving us a musical performance!

Dick smiled as he waved and headed off the stage. Really, you would think that the interviewers would learn by now. All their family interviews ended in a fight. It really was best to interview them one at a time. Although, this one was significantly longer than the rest. It would be a new record to strive for the next time that someone was dumb enough to request that the whole family do an interview on the air.

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 **A/N: So...a lot of you guys said you wanted to see this. I hope it didn't disappoint. I had a really hard time writing the mean tweets, mostly because I didn't really think that the bros would write something mean that CPS or someone else could use against them. Also, I wanted to keep it under 140 characters, which is hard when your trying to write a mean tweet. Tim's original tweet was over 200. I also wanted to do their usernames justice so...hope you liked them?**

 **Review! And I really have no idea what I'm gonna do next chapter, so there is no preview. It will be a complete surprise to us all!**


	64. Avengers Assemble (Part 1)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 1)**

Tim woke up with a groan. His head was pounding. What happened? Did Jason spike his drink again? The last thing he remembered was doing a favor for the Justice League with the rest of his brothers. They had been in civvies. Undercover. Maybe he got hit by a bus. Or a semi truck.

Hearing a groan next to him, Tim looked around. His brothers were sprawled next to him in various states of consciousness. Were they all hit by a bus? No. They were in an alley. And not the same one they were in before.

Shifting, Tim crawled over to an abandoned newspaper. Squinting, he looked for any detail that could clue him in to what was going on. "Guys. We have a problem."

Dick groaned and curled into a ball. "Shut up. Roy must of convinced me that tequila was my friend last night. Tequila is not my friend. She is an angry bitch that hates me. Why do I always forget that tequila is not my friend?"

Tim winced. Roy did have a nasty habit of returning Dick drunk. Daddybats was not happy about that. Poor Roy. Would he ever learn? "Dick. I don't think that your headache is related to tequila at all, and even if it is, we have a way bigger problem on our hands."

"Spit it out, Replacement. My head feels like someone has taken a crowbar to it one too many times. I can't listen to your mumbo jumbo longer than necessary."

"I prefer not to listen to it at all, Drake. Perhaps, you could go tell that dumpster your findings. Quietly. I do believe my head hurt less when Cobblepot ran me over with his ludicrous car."

"Guys! Would you just shut up and listen! This is important!"

Dick sat up and stared at him. "Okay, Timbo. You have my full attention for the next thirty seconds. After that, I'm afraid that I'll be busy puking."

Thirty seconds. He could work with that. "We're not in Gotham. We're not even in Central City where we were undercover for the League. We're in Manhattan. Problem is that it's not _our_ Manhattan."

"What do you mean this isn't _our_ Manhattan?"

Tim stared at Jason with wide eyes and shoved the dirty newspaper his way. "Unless the Justice League changed their name to the Avengers three weeks ago without informing us, we're in a different world."

Jason groaned. "I fucking hate the multiverse."

###

It took a while for them to be able to sit up and actually move without the intense desire to vomit. Dick took it as a good sign though, that they were all together, and that nobody seemed injured. Extremely nauseous and slightly concussed, yes. But nobody was missing a limb or bleeding to death, so win.

The first order or business was to figure out what they needed, and what they already had. "Jason. Go pickpocket someone. We need to figure out whether or not our emergency cash is good here."

Jason gave him an offended look. "How dare you assume that I know how to pickpocket someone! Just because I grew up on the streets, does not automatically make me a thief!"

Dick sighed in exasperation. "I know for a fact that you were a little pickpocket. I also know that Bruce helped you improve your skills. And, I know that Bruce said that you were the best out of the four of us at that particular skill set."

Jason grinned. "Now why didn't you start off with that? Be back in a sec!"

Dick groaned. There was something seriously wrong with Jason. Granted, there was something seriously wrong with all of them, but Jason's issues could be fill up multiple books. But then again, so could his. And Tim's. And Damian's. And don't even get him started on Bruce. Maybe he should just lay off of Jason's issues…

Jason came back whistling a jaunty tune as he dug through a woman's wallet. "Money's different. Ours won't be worth jack shit. So we should probably start there."

Dick rubbed at his eyebrows. Okay. They needed a list. "We need money, a place to crash, food, and information."

Tim bit his lip. "I can research, but I'm going to need my own computer. I can use the library's, but they have search restrictions and I don't think that I will be able to hack into the military satellites and look at wave fluctuations at the time of our arrival."

Damian crossed his arms over his chest. "Computer, food and shelter, all require money. We acquire money, and we solve our other problems as well."

Dick sighed and looked up at the murky sky. Please let Alfred forgive him for what he was about to say. "We're splitting up. Damian and Tim, you guys are going to go steal a laptop and four phones. Make sure that they aren't traceable. Then, you're going to the library. Tim, you'll research how we got here, and hopefully how and when we leave. Damian, you'll look for a place for us to stay. Under the radar. Jason and I will meet you at the library before closing."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly are we going to be doing? It better be more fun than stealing from the Apple Store."

"We are going to pickpocket a few hundred dollars before heading to that giant casino and making that few hundred a few thousand."

"That is way more fun than robbing the Apple Store. I take everything bad I was thinking about you back. Except all the things about your fashion choices. Those still stand."

Dick sighed. It was going to be a long day.

###

Tim shifted next to Damian in a crowded elevator. Without turning to look at him, Tim murmured, "You remember the plan?"

"I'm not an imbecile. Of course I remember."

"For it to work, you need to be, dare I say it: polite and cute."

"I am more than capable of being charming. I doubt even Grayson could match my skills if I truly put forth the effort. "

Tim rolled his eyes. Damian Wayne the ten year old Casanova. Right. And even if he was, nobody could beat Dick in the charm department. Dick could sell ice cubes to an eskimo if he really wanted to. In fact, if Dick was in charge of stealing the electronics, he could probably just convince the employees to hand it over and let him walk out. It was truly a gift. Though it sucked being on the other end of it.

"Showtime squirt. Walk in in fifteen minutes."

"Whatever."

Despite Damian's attitude, Tim was confident that Damian could pull it off. All he had to do was be cute and pathetic for ten minutes. Even Damian could manage that. Most likely. Probably. Hopefully. Tim really didn't want to end up in prison.

While he waited for Damian to enter the store, Tim observed the security cameras and when he could make a clean break into the back room to grab what they needed. He also looked at where the security guards were located and who was being attentive, and who didn't want to be there.

Exactly fifteen minutes after he entered, Damian walked in. Immediately, Damian bumped into a man and made it look like the guy had shoved him. Damian ended up falling and taking multiple electronics with him. Tim used the distraction to clip into the backroom. The last thing he heard before the door closed was people yelling at the man and Damian crying.

Tim hastily filled his (stolen) backpack with two laptops and multiple burner phones. He used the multitool that had been stowed in his pocket pre-multiverse travel to take off as many security tags as he could locate. He then slinked out of the backroom and back into the the main room, where Damian was still crying and the man was getting increasingly frustrated. Tim walked by them unnoticed and slipped the security tags in the man's pockets. Pulling a bag of M&M's (also stolen) out of his pocket, Tim smiled and shoved it in Damian's hands. "Here kid. I find chocolate fixes everything."

Damian took the M&M's with a watery smile and thanked him softly. If Tim wasn't so worried about being caught, he would have totally been enjoying the moment. It was unlikely that Damian would ever thank him again. Tim smiled, and stood over Damian for a few moments, waiting for the man to make his exit. Sure enough, the man apologized once more, and left immediately setting off all the security alarms. Tim took that moment to glide out of the store without anybody noticing.

Ten minutes later, Damian joined him outside of the library and the two shared a small smirk before entering. They immediately walked up the stairs and to the second floor, choosing a small table in the very back. Tim took out both the laptops and set them down in front of him. "Let me set them up, then we can get to work. Oh. And good job. Your performance was impeccable."

"As expected. I doubt Grayson could have done better."

"Sure kid. Whatever you want to believe."

Damian rolled his eyes, and Tim could see a murderous glint in them. "I am not a child, however I can understand your doubt. Grayson does seem to have an unusual charm. Perhaps Father should test his pheromones. He might have some sort of undiscovered power that allows him to bewitch people."

Tim blinked. He could see that being a possibility. A pheromone that allowed victims to fall susceptible to the user's desires. It was certainly something they could look into, but not now. Now they needed to find out exactly what happened to them. And how long it would take the Justice League to get them back. "Later Damian. Right now, we have work to do."

###

Dick prayed that Alfred would forgive him as he brushed by people, stole the cash in their wallets, and returned their wallets before they could even begin to suspect that someone had pickpocketed them. Jason was doing the same thing on the other side of the street. The important thing was that nobody caught them, and if they did, that nobody could link the two of them.

Finally, they were standing in front of the casino. Jason looked at him and pulled out a bunch of crumpled bills from his back pocket. "Let's see. I have two hundred ten dollars. What do you have Golden Boy?"

Dick raised an eyebrow and pulled a neatly folded wad of cash from his pocket. "I have three hundred and fifty seven dollars."

"Damn. You got the rich side of the street. This proves nothing. I'm still a better pickpocket than you."

Dick rolled his eyes but said nothing. It was best not to argue with Jason. The last thing he wanted was to start another argument. Especially now. They weren't in their city. They weren't even in their own world. Right now, they needed to stick together more than ever. They could argue all they wanted later. When they were safe. In their world and in their home.

Walking into the casino, Dick and Jason traded their money for chips. Dick looked at over at Jason, a small frown maring his features. "The library closes at nine. I want to be there by eight thirty, so we leave here at eight. Got it?"

"Yeah. Sure. Can we gamble now?"

"Just don't get caught counting cards. I'm going to go play Poker. I'll meet you in the lobby at eight. Don't be late Jason. I mean it."

"Whatever."

Dick forced himself not to punch Jason and walked away, immediately joining a poker game. Dick knew that most people considered gambling not a sure fire way to turn one dollar into ten, but Dick disagreed. If you knew how to read people (and how to count cards) games such as Poker were easy. The trick was losing certain rounds so that people didn't get suspicious. And also being charismatic enough to put people at ease. Luckily, Dick had plenty of practice doing both.

Settling at the table, Dick smiled at greeted everyone, ignoring the less than polite responses. He also ordered himself a martini. Most people felt more at ease when the person next to them was drinking. Even if it was three in the afternoon. It was cocktail hour somewhere he supposed.

Glancing at the people seated at the table, Dick quickly observed their tells and just how drunk each of them seemed. None of them seemed to be very sober. Which was good for him. It didn't take very long for him to double his money. To avoid too much suspicion, Dick switched tables and started the process over. He needed to stay as far under the radar as possible.

It wasn't long before his three hundred dollars turned into three thousand. And not long after that, where he moved to a higher stakes table and started playing more seriously. Jason was probably somewhere playing Blackjack. If he looked around, he would probably spot his brother surrounded by a gaggle of women. Granted, Jason would also have a pile of money. Jason tended to like money more than one night stands.

Dick absentmindedly tossed a few chips into the pile, but didn't pay much attention. He knew that he wasn't going to win this round, but that was kind of the point. Dick didn't mind, he had the patience to play the long game. He would come out on top in the end. He had to. For his brothers. They needed him to be strong, even if all he wanted to do was crumble. He would stand tall against all adversities for them. To protect them.

Dick's attention was drawn back to reality when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. "Hey there handsome. Want some company?"

Dick gave the redhead hanging off of him a disinterested look. "Not really. I'd actually like some personal space please."

The redhead didn't seemed deterred, and Dick got the feeling that there was more to her than Dick originally thought. He needed to get away from her, now. "Um look. I'm sure you're great and all, but I'm not really looking for any sort of companionship from anyone at the moment. In fact, you're making me really uncomfortable, so either you leave, or I will."

The redhead gave a small huff and left. Dick watched as she went and sat next to a man and the two watched him over their drinks. If it weren't for the fact that he was very well trained, he would have never noticed. But as it was, he could see them watching him in the reflection of his martini glass.

He had to get Jason and get them out of there. Dick looked at his hand and went all in. A few of the other people pulled out, but some matched his bet. Dick grinned, laying down his hand. Score. Pulling the chips to himself, he gestured for a guard. "I'd like to get this traded in for cash please."

The guard nodded, and helped him carry the chips over to the counter. Dick watched carefully as the money was counted out, well aware that the redhead and her friend were watching him. He had no idea who they were, but their moves screamed trained operatives and put Dick on edge. "Can I put transfer this to a bank account, Sir?"

"Cash please."

Dick counted out the bills, over ten grand, and placed it in the interior pocket of his jacket. He then went to the bathroom and slipped into a stall, where he switched the money in his shoe for the money in his jacket. If the redhead was a thief, he rather that she stole the money from their world and not the money that he had just earned. It was a good thing that all of his 'work' boots had fake soles. It made it so much easier to hide things like money. And candy. Bruce never agreed that candy was a must have for stake outs.

Now for the real trick. Dick exited the bathroom and grabbed another martini from a passing waitress, spinning slowly, Dick pretended to take in the room, knowing full well that the redhead's friend was watching him from the shadows. Taking a deep gulp of his drink, Dick ambled up behind Jason and draped himself across his brother's broad shoulders. He could feel Jason momentarily tense before realizing that it was him. Pretending to kiss Jason's neck and ear, Dick whispered, "We gotta go. Two operatives have been watching and following me. One attempted to make contact. Just pretend to be all over me." Speaking louder, Dick used his best sultry voice and said, "Let's get out of here handsome. My place is just around the corner."

Jason coked an eyebrow and smirked grabbing Dick's drink and gulping down the rest of it. "You heard the man. I'd like to cash out now."

Dick continued to hang all over Jason as his brother cashed out his chips. He really wanted to punch his brother in the face when Jason deemed it necessary to grab his ass. Judging by Jason's smirk, his brother knew that and found it funny. Dick really hated him sometimes.

As soon as his brother got his money, also around ten grand, Dick started to tug him away. "Redhead and her less attractive friend at seven o'clock."

"I see them. There's an alley a block away with easy roof access. Let's pull an Amelia Earhart and vanish."

Dick nodded his face against Jason's neck. "Let's hurry. I don't know who they are, but she gave me a bad feeling. She's dangerous. Reminded me a bit of Talia. And something tells me that he's not much better."

"Shit."

"You said it."

Dick bit his lip. He didn't want to fight them if he didn't have to. They weren't armed, and their hand to hand combat would just out them as a threat. They needed to disappear before they got the chance to confront them. As long as they disappeared, there wouldn't be a way to track them. Wait. "Jason. Since you're already feeling me up, can you check to see that she didn't place a tracker on me? She was all over me earlier."

Jason let out a huge sigh like Dick was asking way too much of him. "Fine. I guess I can do that. But you owe me."

Dick rolled his eyes. Right. He owed Jason. It's not like he didn't take the blame for the mess in the Batcave the previous week, or that time that Jason thought it would be a good idea to wear Thomas Wayne's watch and the leather strap broke. In fact, he took the blame for Jason more often than he'd like to admit. Maybe he needed to learn how to say 'no' to his brother.

"I only found one. We can do a strip search later. We probably should go and buy some clothes. And food. And deodorant. You stink."

Dick sighed. Only Jason. "We'll ditch the tracker in the alley. We can shop as we make sure that we lost them."

"Cool. Finally! Here's the fucking alley!"

Dick wasn't sure what exactly happened as he was suddenly very roughly shoved into the alley and against the dirty wall. He looked up with Jason confused, but his brother was busy looking at a mirrored reflection and throwing away the tracker. "Shit. Here they come. Think you can scale the walls and then help me up? I might be taller, but you have the circus mojo."

Dick smirked, still not entirely sure what was going on, but deciding to trust Jason. Shaking out his limbs slightly, Dick ran at the back wall of the alley, ran up it a few paces, backflipped into the right wall, before proceeding to launch himself at the left wall, where he was able to get one hand on the roof and pull himself up. Reaching down, he gestured for Jason to jump. His brother scowled, but leaped at the wall running a few steps before gravity caught up with him and he swung wildly for Dick's arm. Dick caught him, and hauled him up and over the roof, both of them quickly ducking down as the redhead and friend walked into the alley.

"I could of sworn that they walked in here."

"Unless they can turn invisible, they didn't. The roof is two stories high at the lowest point, they'd have to be able to fly to get up there."

"The tracker shows that they are in here."

"Must of found it and ditched it. Come on, let's keep looking. Maybe we can catch up to them. Are you sure that they are even operatives?"

"No. But I could have sworn that the one guy made me as soon as I went over to check him out."

"Or maybe, he's not into women."

"The other guy was all over the girls he was talking to earlier. My guess is that they know each other, and that my guy told him to play along."

"Nat. Your guy could turn any straight man for the night. If he had propositioned me, I'm not sure I would have said no."

"Whatever. Let's keep looking."

Dick sighed as the two left the alley. Standing, Dick turned to face the shopping district. They needed to find a change of clothes and something to disguise themselves. As well as some toiletries and dinner. Jason must have seen where he was looking because he nodded. "Let's go. We need to get to the library before it closes anyways. And after what just happened to us, I'm worried about the Replacement and the Demon Brat. The last thing we need is to be seperated here. And I'm sure that they want to kill each other by now."

Dick sighed. Sometimes Jason could be the best younger brother. "Yeah. You're right. Let's go."

###

Tim was ready to shove Damian's head in a meat grinder. Why was the kid so annoying? Just because he had found some seedy motel for them to stay at, didn't mean that Tim had yet to figure out the reason that they were here to begin with. In fact, maybe if he would shut up for five minutes, Tim would have a chance to figure it out! Hacking wasn't exactly easy, despite what Tim made it seem like.

He was one second away from wringing Damian's tiny neck when Dick and Jason showed up, arms full of shopping bags and take-out bags. Tim held a hand up. "We can leave in a minute. I've almost isolated the disturbance responsible for our transportation. You guys have fun?"

Tim was expecting an eyeroll or a sarcastic comment. He was not expecting Dick to grimace and Jason to actually look worried. "We ran into some trouble, which is why we're here earlier than expected. It's also why we would like to leave for whatever sleeping arrangements Damian's made, as soon as possible."

Tim wondered what the story behind all of that was. He was about to ask, but his attention was drawn to the numbers, symbols, and letters flying across his screen. Tim felt his stomach clench, and the blood run out of his face. "No. Nonononononononono. Shit!"

Tim felt like crying. This couldn't be happening. Why was this happening? What had they done wrong for the world to take revenge like this? Why? What good could possibly come from this?

Suddenly Dick's face was all that he could see, as his brother forced him to look at him and mirror his breathing. Tim's mind seemed to calm down and settle, and he realized that he must be having a panic attack. What was more surprising was that Jason and Damian actually looked concerned for him. Or perhaps they were more concerned about the reason he was freaking out. Either way, concern marred their handsome features, and they crouched down on either side of Dick. "Timmy. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Tim gave a small nod before looking back at the computer, the text still flying across the screen. "We can't rely on the Justice League to get us back."

"Okay Timmy. Why is that, and why is that such a bad thing?"

Tim looked at them with large haunted eyes. "According to my readings, we should have never survived the trip. In fact, if the analysis of our entrance is anything like that of our exit, the whole League thinks that we're not only dead, but completely obliterated. Which means—"

Dick's face seemed to age ten years. "That Bruce has just been informed that all four of his sons have died on a mission that he didn't want to be a part of. His grief is going to get him killed, and there's nothing that we can do about it."

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 **A/N: So...I'm obviously not a thief, hacker, or a gambler, so I just worked with what I got and made up the rest.**

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 **I think that by now you guys have figured out that the redhead was in fact the Blackwidow and her "less attractive friend" was Hawkeye**

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 **I'm personally not someone who ships Dick/Jason or Jason/Tim or Dick/Damian, ect. I do think that in certain undercover situations that they would play a couple if it were to save their skins. Or simply to annoy their brother (cough cough Jason cough cough). But that is only my opinion, and what matters is whether or not you like it or not.**

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 **Obviously there will be more parts to this, so I hope you will be patient with me. I know that there was a bit of a cliffhanger in this chapter...(don't hate me too much) but as most of you know, I'm more of a fluff kinda gal, so don't worry too much.**

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 **YOUR REVIEWS FUEL MY IMAGINATION AND MOTIVATE ME TO TYPE AND POST THINGS FASTER, SO PLEASE REVIEW! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, CAUSE i HONESTLY HAVE NO CLUE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS!**


	65. Avengers Assemble (Part 2)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 2)**

Dick paced the seedy motel room in his boxers. Pausing, he looked at where his brothers were lounging on the two beds. "So Bruce thinks we're dead, right?"

Tim sighed from where he was fiddling on his computer. "For the hundredth time Dick. I can't be sure. But it sure looks that way."

Dick nodded and resumed his pacing. Damian let out a small scoff and turned to where Jason was throwing a free stress ball. And by free, he meant that he hadn't paid for it.

"Todd. Would you please describe the operatives that you ran into? By any chance, were they friendly?"

"I don't know if they were friendly, but they were good. Dick said that the red headed woman reminded him of your mother. And her friend was on the same level."

Dick let out a groan and slipped on his pajama pants. "The guy was an archer. He had the same kind of calluses that Roy has. The woman was different. Her hands suggested not only a proficiency with hand to hand combat, but also the use of firearms. Tim is there any way you can find out who they are?"

"Maybe if I knew which country they were affiliated with."

Dick flopped down onto the bed next to Damian. "She had the slightest Russian accent. But I don't think that she's a Russian operative. He was more interesting. His accent suggested a multitude of languages, so either he's some sort of savant, or he grew up in an international circus."

Tim paused his typing. "Dick, are you sure?"

Dick shrugged. "I'm not sure about anything anymore Timmy. If we had had some sort of long drawn out conversation, I could tell you if he used phrases that are common within the circus, but we didn't. All I can say is that he has a faint accent that screams 'kid that grew up in a circus'. I guess it takes one to know one."

Tim sighed and closed his computer. "I'm too tired to get anything more done tonight. I'll start researching again in the morning."

Jason let out a groan and sat up. "We'll take shifts sleeping. I got first watch. The rest of you look like you're about to pass out. I'll wake up Dick in an hour."

Dick waved at him lazily but didn't comment. He was already fast asleep. Jason smirked to himself as he stood up and moved to one of the hard chairs. It allowed him to look out the window with the added bonus of anyone outside being unable to see him. The chair was also hard enough to keep him awake despite how bone tired he was. Squeezing the ball in his hand, Jason allowed himself to pretend that they were on a standard mission and come morning, everything would return to normal. It was a sweet thought.

###

Damian watched as the same figure passed their room for the second time. He matched the description of Grayson and Todd's archer, which made Damian more tense than he already was. Slipping out of his chair and onto the ground, Damian slithered across the room and in between the beds where he yanked each of his brothers onto the ground next to him.

It was a testament to their training and their trust, when they were didn't question him and were instantly wide awake. Grayson grabbed their backpacks out from underneath the bed. He had packed all their things the night before, citing that they needed to be ready to leave in an instant. Damian was glad that their eldest brother had the foresight to do so. Drake and Todd certainly hadn't.

Drake was the one who asked the question on all of their minds. "How are we planning on getting out? We don't have any weapons, and there isn't an air vent to sneak out of."

Grayson the self-sacrificing idiot immediately suggested, "I'll cause a distraction. We can meet at the restaurant that Jay and I went to yesterday."

Drake started to protest, and Damian wanted to join him. It was a good plan, if it were Drake acting as the distraction, but Damian did not want to be separated from his favorite brother in this odd universe. Grayson had already run into trouble the last time that they had separated, Damian wasn't taking that risk again.

Surprisingly it was Todd who saved him from voicing his embarrassing thoughts. "Or, and here's a thought, we can use these smoke bombs and firecrackers as a distraction."

Grayson grinned and gave Todd a smirk. "I'm so glad that your such a pyromaniac!"

Todd rolled his eyes, but Damian could tell that he took pleasure in the fact that Grayson was for once proud of him. Damian supposed that he could understand why. Grayson had a way of making one feel like they were the most important person in the world when he gave them attention. It was annoying.

When Grayson looked deeply into all of their eyes, Damian knew that it was time. Grayson and Todd took the lead, while Damian and Drake took up the rear. Damian knew that it had something to do with Grayson's need to protect his siblings, but Damian also knew that logically it made sense. Todd and Grayson were already compromised. Damian and Drake were not. Being in front, meant that Damian and Drake's identities would remain hidden, and hopefully it would allow them to move around the city with some form of anonymity. It was their best hope of returning home with Father still alive and well. Damian's heart gave a small pang, but he forced his feelings to the back of his mind. He could not afford to be distracted right now. He could deal with his pesky emotions later.

Damian furrowed his eyebrows as a bandana was tossed at him. His brothers were tying them over the lower portions of their faces, but Damian could see no logic behind it. Whoever the woman and the man were, they already knew what they looked like. Todd must have seen the confusion on his face. "Just do it Brat. These smoke bombs aren't high grade like the stuff B uses. You're going to want to cough up a lung."

Damian refrained from commenting that that was impossible, instead simply doing what he was told. Grayson put one hand on the doorknob, and the held the other up by his ear. Damian watched as his fingers counted down. Three. Two. One. Grayson threw the door open and rolled out, landing in a low crouch. Todd immediately threw the smoke bombs and the the firecrackers.

Damian was confused as to why the smoke was made in multiple colors, but he did not question it as he held onto Drake's belt and ran behind him soundlessly. Todd was correct, the smoke burned at his eyes and lungs but he was careful not to cough and give away their position. The firecrackers sounded like gunfire, and drew attention in every direction. Damian never had felt more out of his depth than he did in that moment. He had no weapons, and he was not engaging in battle. He was not Robin. And yet, he was being forced to run from potentially lethal people that they had not identified. He wondered if this is how people felt when they were being hunted by his family.

Damian found himself watching as Todd and Drake broke into and hotwired a car while Grayson acted as a lookout. He felt numb. Damian had never felt like this before. He had always been in control of a situation, but this one was spiraling out of his grasp faster by the second. He felt the Earth sway beneath him. The last thing he saw was Grayson lunging to catch him.

###

Dick looked nervously at Damian who was still unconscious in the backseat beside him. He had taken off the boy's bandana, but there was nothing else that he could do, besides stoke his brother's hair. Jason was driving, with Tim navigating. Where, exactly, Dick didn't know. Jason had taken control of the situation once he realized that Dick was starting to freak out. Well more accurately, Dick had caught Damian, and Jay had yelled at him to 'toss the kid in the car and get in!' Dick had done so, and Jason had sped off like a bat out of hell. He performed every evasive maneuver known to man, and a few that he must have made up on the spot. Point being, they lost any tail they might have had.

Dick knew that it wasn't over. Whoever was after them must have had access to all security cameras in the region to track them. Which meant that they weren't safe. Not really. They needed to ditch the car, and find a place where all the security cameras in the world wouldn't be able to find them.

Jason must have had the same idea, because he pulled up in an alley outside of Manhattan's Chinatown. Smirking, Jason exited the car and picked up Damian, carefully positioning him on his back. Dick smiled faintly, and they made their way into the bustling streets.

Tim grabbed four conical hats, and Dick placed one on his head before putting one on Damian's. The hat would hide their features better than any pair of sunglasses. Not for the first time, Dick thanked his parents that his features were hard to recognize as any one ethnicity. Jason and Damian's were hard to recognize as well. Tim had more of the Gotham upper class look, but when he was with the rest of them, his features seemed to blend as well. People saw what they wanted to, and knowing that they were brothers often led them to see similarities that weren't there. Dick was thankful for that now, because no one spared them a second glance.

They wandered down the street for a while before pulling in front of a shop that advertised the best dumplings in town and a room for rent upstairs. Dick shared a glance with his brothers, noting that they all seemed to be onboard with the plan. If you could even call it that.

Shuffling into the small shop, Dick gave the owner his most charming smile. Switching over to Mandarin, Dick greeted the owner with a small bow. " _Hello. My name is John Peters and these are my brothers. We were hoping the room you have is still available."_

The owner gave him a look that spoke volumes about how little she trusted Dick. Dick could understand that. He had already lied to the woman about something as simple as his name. " _The room is very small and there is only one bed."_

" _That's okay. The two youngest will share. Todd and I will take the floor."_

" _There are better places."_

" _Yes, but we are new to the city. We need a place to stay while we get our feet on the ground. Please. Our father and mother were just murdered. I need to figure out a way to provide for my brothers."_

That seemed to melt the shop owner. She nodded and led them up a narrow staircase to a small room. It wasn't much, but it was more than enough for their circumstances. Dick had slept in way smaller places when he had been a part of the circus. Granted, he had been much smaller at the time.

The shop owner loitered at the door before biting her lip. " _I've been thinking about hiring someone to help out around here. You help me, and your rent will be free."_

Dick nodded and gave her a wide grin. " _Thank you...I'm sorry, I do not know your name."_

" _You may call me Feng Mian."_

Dick simply smiled and bowed his head once more. He was grateful for her generosity, especially, as it seemed that they would be bringing trouble to her front door.

###

Jason let out a small sigh of relief when the Demon Brat woke up. He would never admit it, but when he had passed out Jason's heart had lept. He was afraid that someone managed to shoot the little guy or something when he wasn't looking.

He watched as the Damian looked around and took in his surroundings before turning his nose up and letting out a haughty sniff. Suddenly Jason was reminded of the reason that he couldn't stand his youngest brother half the time. Entitlement issues were a bitch. Especially when they came paired with the multitude of other issues that the brat had.

The Replacement sat down on the small wooden chair next to the window. He had been looking for bugs, but apparently he was satisfied that none existed. Jason was just happy that the window gave easy access to the roof next door. It would be an ideal escape route, should they need it.

Dickface started the conversation, as usual. "Okay. We need info, weapons, and a plan. Not necessarily in that order."

Jason nodded. That much was obvious. "What's going on in your head, _John_?"

"Hey. I didn't know who was listening, and despite the fact that we are in another world, I don't feel comfortable giving out my real name. Do you?"

Jason grudgingly admitted that his brother was correct. For once. "What are our names then?"

"I'm John Peters, your Todd Peters, Tim is Jackson Peters, and Dami is Thomas Peters."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Real creative."

Dick simply stuck his tongue out. Tim, the mature adult that he was (in comparison to his older brothers everyone was a mature adult), brought them back onto the topic at hand. "I can start looking at who in this world would have the resources to send us back. As we don't know whether or not it was magic or tech, I'll look into who would have the connections as well."

Jason nodded his head, his lips pursed. "I can get us some weapons. I might not be of this Earth, but all scumbags tend to have the same hiding spots. At the very least, I can get guns and knives."

Damian scoffed quietly before admitting, "A katana would be appreciated."

Jason rolled his eyes. "I'm assuming that you all want your standard weapons?" Seeing their nods, Jason rubbed a hand down his face. "I'll see what I can do. Might have to rob a dojo or something."

Dick sighed, but did not protest. He knew that they would need to bend some rules to end up at home, but he still felt guilty about all the stealing that they were doing. Not to mention, Alfred would be very disappointed in them when he found out. And Dick was not naive enough to think that Alfred would never know.

"I'll go downstairs and see if I can glean some information about our attackers. Someone's got to know something, or heard a rumor. Damian, I want you to help Tim. I know that you rather do something else, but there's safety in numbers. If someone comes up here, you guys act like normal kids and scream, okay. There's no need to get you two compromised too."

Damian looked as if he were going to protest, but stopped when he saw the desperate look on Dick's face. Jason knew the feeling. That face could stop the world's most power hungry dictator right in his tracks. Maybe, Batman should stop trying to weaponize the Batglare, and instead try and mimic Dick's face. It would surely be effective in stopping crime.

Jason was startled out of his thoughts when Dick put his hand on his shoulder and looked deeply into his eyes. "You okay, Little Wing? We don't need to do this right now, if you want to rest."

Jason closed his eyes. Dick was being such a thoughtful fucker. Of course they had to do this right now. They needed to do this as quickly as possible. Otherwise, they wouldn't have a father to return to. It was too much. Jason fucking hated emotions.

"I'm good Dickface. I'm just imagining you doing chores. And gosh forbid that Feng Mian thinks it's a good idea to stick you in the kitchen."

Tim and Damian seemed to buy it, but Dick gave him a knowing look and a small squeeze on the shoulder. "Just be careful Jay. The last thing any of us want to do is rescue your sorry ass."

Jason couldn't help but smile as Tim and Damian laughed. He was thankful that Dick had dropped it, and even more thankful that he had gotten the Replacement to laugh. Jason was seriously worried about that kid. He was way too smart for his own good, and often got lost in his thoughts. He had been sporting this haunted look on his face ever since they had realized they were no longer on their own Earth. It was starting to worry Jason, and he made it a point to worry about everyone and everything before he worried about Tim. The look on Dick's face suggested that he was worried too, which made Jason feel slightly less sappy.

"Okay. I'll see you losers tonight. I have a phone in case you guys feel worried and want to track me."

Tim rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but Jason could see the small smirk on his face. Jason opened the window and slunk across the roof to the next building, disappearing in the shadows. It was time to get to work.

###

Jason moved confidently in into the smokey tavern. Sunglasses were perched on his nose, and his leather jacket was draped over his shoulders like a layer of armor. He knew that people were watching him. Surveying him. Trying to identify him. He was the new guy in a bar full of bad guys, he needed to play his cards carefully or he would end up in a bodybag.

Sauntering over to the bar, Jason slammed down a few bills and signalled for a beer. It was a sign of how seedy the place was when they didn't even attempt to card him. Jason grabbed the beer and moved to the back tables where he guessed that the arms dealers would be hanging out. Sliding into one of the booths, Jason watched as the 'muscle' made a show of grabbing their guns. Jason rolled his eyes, but stood and allowed for them to pat him down. He didn't have any weapons on him, not that he needed any to do damage.

When they declared that he was clean, Jason sat down and stared at the man opposite him. He gave off the same slimy feeling as the arms dealers in Gotham, and it looked like he was trying to imitate the looks of an italian mob boss. Honestly, Matches Malone would be proud.

"I hear that you are the guy to go to for a little firepower."

The guy surveyed Jason carefully, before smirking. "Oh? Who told you that? I'll have to ask them not to tarnish my good reputation."

"Something tells me that your reputation has never been good a day in your life."

The man smirked. "How can I be of service to you Mr.—"

"Richardson."

"How can I be of service to you Mr. Richardson?"

Jason leaned back in his seat. Crossing his arms, he gave the man in front of him an appraising look. "I need two glocks and at least eight full magazines. A sniper rifle would also be a good idea."

"That's all doable. Now to discuss price."

"How much?"

"Twelve grand and I'll throw in a free scope for the rifle."

"Eight grand plus the scope. The rifle is worth seven grand if it's military grade and brand new. Yours won't be either. And I won't kid myself in thinking that the glocks will be new either. Add to the fact the rounds will be homemade, and you're overpricing your goods. Despite who you may take me for, I am not someone who is new to this game."

"Ten grand."

Jason narrowed his eyes. "Nine grand in cash, final offer."

The man stood and held out his hand. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you Mr. Richardson."

"When can I expect my stuff to be ready?"

"Tonight. I'll meet you in the backroom. Please bring my money. And do us both a favor and come alone."

Jason rolled his eyes at the stereotypical villain request. 'Come alone or we will kill your friend' it was so overused that it was pathetic. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I got crap to do. I'll see you tonight."

Jason grabbed his barely touched beer and headed out the door. He could feel the eyes following him as he left, but he tried not to let that bother him. He wasn't kidding about being busy. He had a dojo to rob and a few hunting knives to find. And if he had time, he should also stop at a few convenience and hardware stores so that he could get the ingredients needed to make his own explosives. They would probably be a higher quality than those he could illegally buy. And definitely more stable. Jason rolled his shoulders back. He had a long day in front of him, but he could do it. He would do it. And he would keep his brothers safe. He could guarantee it.

###

Dick adjusted the apron around his waist as he mopped the floors. A man was smoking at one of the tables. Feng Mian was nowhere in sight. Noticing that the guy was watching him, Dick gave him a small smile.

" _Hi. How are you?"_

The man looked shocked that Dick paid him any perhaps, the man didn't think that he knew Mandarin. Instead of responding, he just nodded his head. Dick went back to mopping, pretending to ignore the watchful stare. " _Are you new?"_

Dick looked up startled. " _Yes. Feng Mian was nice enough to allow me to work here."_

Dick chose not to mention that he was renting the room above the restaurant. The less people that knew, the better. The man looked at him curiously. " _Why? She never needed help before."_

" _I don't know. Ask Feng Mian."_

The man seemed surprised by that answer. Dick didn't know why, he was being awfully curious for a stranger. Making sure to speak carefully, Dick said, " _I am new to this city, but I heard rumors. About a redhead woman and a friend of hers that's an archer. I heard that they are both very dangerous. Deadly in fact."_

The man paused and lowered his cigarette. " _Did you meet them?"_

" _No. I just heard rumors. Like I said, I'm new here. I want to know if there's something that I should be looking out for."_

The man sighed. " _Good. Though I shouldn't be surprised. If you had met the Blackwidow, you would have been dead by now."_

Dick's heartbeat sped up. He had met her twice now. And he had managed to keep both him and his brothers safe. But the fact that a civilian knew of her, didn't bode well. And neither did her reputation. " _The government hasn't stopped her?"_

" _She works for the government agency S.H.I.E.L.D. And if rumors are true, she's also on that hero team, the Avengers. The archer friend sounds like Hawkeye."_

Dick really wanted to puke, but forced himself to remain calm and continue to mop. She was just as dangerous as he had thought. Which was not what he had hoped to hear. He had wanted the man to tell him not to worry and that she was harmless. Dick licked his lips and nodded. " _Oh. Okay. I was just curious."_

The man nodded, and Dick didn't speak with him again. Dick had gotten the information that he needed. There was no use talking to the man any longer. He continued to mop, and when the man raised his hand in farewell, Dick waved a few fingers in return. God, it was going to be a long day.

###

Tim was once again trying not to strangle Damian. The boy had been pleasant enough for the first four hours locked together, but now he was just being his annoying self. Tim caught himself fantasizing throwing Damian out of the window more times than he would care to admit. Especially, in front of Dick. For whatever reason, Dick seemed to like the Brat. Tim thought that it had something to do with Dick's need to please and help people. Tim and Jason hadn't needed Dick in the same way that Damian did. Damian's need allowed Dick to fulfill whatever deep psychological issue that Dick had.

Taking a calming breath, Tim ignored the Brat's complaints and whines. He knew that Damian was bored, and it made sense, the boy was the only one that hadn't received a job. Attempting to zen himself, Tim pushed to laptop away from him. "You wanna talk for a minute? I need to look away from the computer screen for a moment or I'll go crazy. Is there any chance you have some sort of granola bar hidden away somewhere?"

Damian huffed, but took a granola bar out of his backpack and tossed it at him. Tim thanked him with a smile and patted the bed next to him. Damian pursed his lips, but crawled into the bed next to him. He sat there for a moment before shifting awkwardly. He was quite obviously uncomfortable, so Tim took mercy on him. "How are you feeling? I mean, I know that we are all struggling, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I am not a child Drake. I do not need to be coddled."

Tim fought hard to resist the urge to roll his eyes at Damian's attitude. "I know. But I also know that Dick and Jason are struggling with this. And I know that I am too. I just want to make sure that despite all that's going on, that you are a priority too."

Damian was quiet for a minute before he shifted closer to Tim. It was subtle, but Tim noticed and smiled. Damian rarely shifted closer to him. In fact, Damian rarely shifted closer to anyone except Dick. "I suppose that I may be having some trouble. I am struggling with the fact that we are running from an enemy that we have no information on, and that we are doing so as civilians. As Robin, I have faced many villains, most of which are utterly despicable. However, I do not believe that I have ever faced anyone quite like this. I know that we are the good guys. Grayson has insisted that I am a hero despite, or more accurately in spite, of my past. Nevertheless, I feel like in this case we are the villains being hunted. I do not like it."

Tim blinked at Damian. He never thought that Damian would actually share with him. He thought that his concerns would be dismissed, and then they would commence in small talk until Tim was forced to go back to his research. Damian shifted again, looking vulnerable, and Tim realized that he had yet to respond. "I feel like I can't keep up. Everything keeps changing and I have no idea how to process all of it. I guess I feel lucky that I'm with all of you guys, because I'm not alone. But I feel guilty at the same time, because I know that this is destroying Bruce. And I know that Dick and Jason are taking on a lot of responsibility in their attempts to keep us all safe. I also know that Dick loves Bruce in a way that we won't ever understand. They are like two sides of the same coin, and I'm afraid of what will happen to Dick if Bruce does something stupid."

Damian nodded, and the two sat in compatible silence for a long time before Tim eventually pulled his laptop back in front of him and continued to research. Noticing that Damian was still sitting besides him, Tim shifted over so that Damian could see what he was doing. Damian scoffed, but Tim could clearly see the miniscule smile on his face.

###

Dick entered the small room like a hurricane, carrying a bag of dumplings. He walked over to Tim and Damian and dropped a kiss on both of their foreheads. Slumping down on the bed, Dick pulled out a dumpling and started to eat it. Tossing the bag to Tim, Dick stretched. "I got some stuff to share, but let's wait for Jay."

"Don't stop on my account."

Dick jumped up when he saw that Jason was climbing in through the window. "Jay!" He managed to get a one arm hug before Jason shoved him off and placed a guitar case down. Dick looked at it, his forehead creasing with concern. "Do I want to know?"

Jason shrugged and opened the case. Inside was a disassembled sniper rifle, a collapsible bo staff, a katana, and a pair of escrima sticks. Jason opened his jacket to show off the knives and glocks. "I have a few extra knives if you guys want one."

Dick sighed but didn't say anything. Closing his eyes he bit into his dumpling. "The redhead's name is Blackwidow. Her friend is Hawkeye. They work for a government agency called S.H.I.E.L.D. and apparently we are lucky to be alive. Oh. And they are also members of the Avengers."

Tim worried his lip with his teeth. "There is one person who has the connections, brains, and money, to find us a way home. His name is Tony Stark. Problem is, he is also an Avenger and therefore works for S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury. His hero name is Ironman."

Jason bit at his nail, a habit that Dick thought he had broken years ago. Perhaps the stress had caused a relapse or something. "Did you have to hack a lot to figure that out Timbo?"

"No. The Avengers have very public identities. In fact, none of them are secret."

"Weird. So did you get us a meeting with this Tony guy?"

Tim took a dumpling out of the bag and passed it to Damian. Then he took one out for himself, allowing Jason to steal the bag off of his lap. "I tried. I got an automated email saying that he was booked for the year, but that I'll be put onto a waiting list."

Dick ran a hand through his hair. "Any way to hack our way up the list?"

"No. I'd need to be in the building to gain access. Problem is, the building has better security than Fort Knox. We'd need someone with access to get in."

"Who has access?"

Tim let out a very loud sigh. "The Avengers. And they are public enough that someone will miss them the second that we take them."

Jason waved his dumpling around in the air as he chewed. "Anybody slightly less public with access? You know a sidekick or something?"

Tim shoved the remainder of his dumpling in his mouth and allowed his fingers to fly across the keys. "No sidekicks, but there is a high schooler by the name of Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spiderman. His identity seems to be a more of a secret than the others. Besides the whole superhero thing, he seems to be a nerd. He is currently listed as living with his Aunt May."

Damian's lips curled into a feral smile. "It seems that we need to capture this Parker."

Jason began to smirk too, which honestly scared Tim. "It seems that we do. You know what that means?"

It was Dick, the person that Tim thought would never betray him that delivered the final blow. Quite gleefully. "I guess it means that Tim is enrolling in high school!"

###

Bruce sat at the Batcomputer clenching and unclenching his hands. How could this have happened? Why did this happen? How could he have let this happen? Diana placed a hand on his shoulder, and Bruce flinched before shoving it away. He didn't want their pity. He didn't want them here at all. He wanted to be left alone. They had delivered their news, and their findings in a fucking evidence file, so why were they still here?

"Bruce. I know that this is a lot to process, but you will get over it. Don't do anything rash."

Bruce stood up quickly and shoved the chair away. From behind Diana, Bruce faintly heard Clark mumble, "Oh. Shit."

"You think that I will _get over_ this? How the hell am I supposed to get over the deaths of my four children? Are you that dense?"

"Bruce, I don't think that she meant anything by that. We know that you are grieving, we're just worried about you doing something stupid. I don't think that Dick, that any of them, would want that."

Bruce gave them both his fiercest glare. "Get out."

"Bruce—"

"Get out of my house! Get out! Get out now!"

Bruce watched with disinterest as Clark dragged a protesting Diana to the Zeta Beams. "We're here for you."

The light from the beam had yet to fade before Bruce sank down to the ground and covered his face, his shoulders shaking. Logically, he knew that he was crying, sobbing really, but it didn't seem to connect. He was in shock. Or at least some form of it. Tim could probably tell him. _Tim. Jason. Dick. Damian._ They were all gone.

Bruce noted somewhere in the back of his mind that Alfred had entered the cave, and promptly dropped his serving tray at the sight of him. He could hear Alfred's rushed footsteps as the man neared him, and then the gentle touch on his shoulder.

"Good heavens, Master Bruce! What on earth is the matter? I'm sure whatever it is, we can figure out a way to fix it."

Bruce looked up at Alfred through tear stained eyelashes. He felt like he was once again eight years old, only this time, the hole in his heart was much, much larger. "Not this. We can't fix this, Alfred. But I wish more than anything that we could."

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 **A/N: I swear that the next update will make up for the ending. I was crying as I wrote it, so...I feel bad for leaving it like that. This chapter wasn't too boring, but the next chapter will have more action. I'm not sure if I'll add another scene with Bruce, but we'll see. What will be in the next chapter is Peter Parker! And Aunt May! They were originally supposed to make their debut in this chapter, but it didn't work out that way. And since this is the longest chapter that I have written by far in a long time, I think that it was probably for the best that it ended there. Otherwise what would have been a story with maybe eight parts would have turned into a two chapters. (Don't quote me on the eight parts, I have no idea how long this story will be).**

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 **Characters that will make an eventual appearance do include: Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Ironman, Jarvis, and Dr. Strange.**

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 **Please review! I loved all the amazing things that you guys had to say about the last chapter! I am stoked to see what you think of this one!**

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 **I hope that everybody has an amazing day, night, afternoon, morning, ect!**


	66. Avengers Assemble (Part 3)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 3)**

Tim adjusted the glasses on his nose, blinked his brown eyes. He had twenty-twenty vision, so he really wasn't sure why he needed to wear glasses, but Jason had assured him that they made him look nerdier. The color contacts were just another small step to help hide his identity. Not that they really needed that when they were on a different Earth, but what can he say, Bats were paranoid. They had, or rather Tim had, enrolled himself in Peter Parker's high school, making sure that he was in as many of his classes as possible. His alias, Jackson Peters, had had to switch schools due to him moving in with his older brother and bullying.

Tim was also made out to be some sort of chemistry genius. It made sense, as Peter was exceptional in the field of chemistry. Tim was pretty good, but Jason was by far the genius in that field. Jason was their go to chemist, and classic literature expert. Tim was by far better in technology. He was taking online classes at MIT for crying out loud. He just wasn't sure he could play the part.

When he had voiced his concerns to Dick, the man had laughed at him. Jason had joined in on the laughter as soon as he had realized what was going on. "Really Tiny Tim? You're worried about not being nerdy enough? You'll be fine. Believe me, you're definitely nerdy enough to fool most people. Just don't get too into it with Peter, and if you get really stuck, google it."

So now, Tim was being shuffled in front of Peter's class to introduce himself. He had hacked into the class seating chart so that he would know where Peter sat and who his lab partner was. Seeing that it was a guy named Ned, Tim had Jason whip something up that would cause severe and sudden food poisoning and then sicked Damian the Ninja on him. Poor guy never saw the Brat coming before he managed to spike his food.

So here he was playing the part of Jackson Peters and being told to go sit down next to his temporary lab partner Peter. Tim, or rather Jackson, smiled shyly and sat down, adjusting his glasses as he did so. Biting his lip, he gave a small finger wave. "Hi."

Tim used to be shy. Living with Bruce had changed that. You couldn't be shy when you had Dick, Jason, and Damian as brothers. You wouldn't live long if you were. But he did have the shy act down pat. Which was good, because Jackson Peters had been bullied and would most likely be somewhat reserved. Tim wondered if it was weird that he thought of Jackson Peters as a separate person. Tim was Jackson Peters, but at the same time, he wasn't. It was weird, but at the same time it was normal.

Tim was cut out of his musings when the teacher clapped her hands and told them to get to work. Tim blinked, unsure of what was asked of him. Peter laughed softly at his lost expression before jutting his hand in Tim's direction. "I'm Peter. Jackson, right?"

Tim shook the offered hand. "Jackson Peters, funny enough. Got to ask, what exactly are we doing? I wasn't really paying much attention."

Peter offered him a kind smile. "No worries. It's your first day, right?"

"Yeah."

As they started working, Tim observed Peter subtly. He was small, like Tim. Tim knew that the guy was supposed to have the proportional strength of a spider, but he did not look very intimidating. Granted, he spent his life with men like Bruce and Clark, so maybe he was not the best judge of what could be considered physically intimidating.

"Where's your normal lab partner?"

Peter looked up at him surprised, like he didn't think that Tim would talk to him. "It was the weirdest thing. Ned was fine this morning, and then he got really sick after breakfast."

Tim made an interested sound and raised his eyebrow, careful to keep the knowledge of what had actually happened to Ned off of his face. "That sucks. I hate being sick."

Peter took Tim's interest to mean that he could ask questions. "So why did you transfer in the middle of the school year Jackson? I mean rumor is that you're some sort of genius, but that wouldn't explain why you would transfer here of all places."

"My parents were murdered, so me and my brothers Todd and Thomas had to move in with our oldest brother John."

Peter was quiet for a second. "My parents were killed in a plane crash. I live with my Aunt May."

Tim nodded, already knowing this information but carefully listening anyways. If Peter was volunteering it, it meant that trust was being built. It was a good thing, for the sake of their mission. He nodded, a small sad smile darting across his lips. "I'm sorry. Let's change the topic. Favorite sports team?"

Peter shook his head, laughing slightly. "Twenty questions, huh? I'm game. The Mets. What's your favorite color?"

This went on for a while, with Tim asking increasingly weird questions. Peter took it in stride, never once complaining about Tim's 'What would you do if the world was ending?' questions, and throwing out strange questions in return, some of which tested Tim's limited knowledge of this Earth.

When the bell was about to ring, Tim asked, "If somebody came up to you asking for help, claiming to be from another multiverse, would you help them get to somebody that could send them home?"

"I'd tell them that I don't have the right connections."

Tim stared at him for a moment before shrugging. "Whatever. It's just a game."

Peter looked at him like he was crazy. Maybe he was. He shouldn't be giving away too many of his cards so soon. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just heard that you had a Stark internship. Pretty sure that Tony Stark would be able to fix, or know someone who could fix, something like that. It doesn't really matter. It's just a game."

Peter ran a hand through his hair. "Look. You're right, I just try not to advertise the whole Stark thing. People think I'm a loser as it is. Besides, I don't subscribe to the whole multiverse thing, so I wouldn't believe any wack-job that claimed something along those lines. They probably just want to rob Mr. Stark or something. Why do you believe?"

Tim bit his lip before carefully saying, "Look. I believe that we live in a world where there are Norse Gods, super soldiers, and giant green monsters created from gamma radiation. I think that anything is possible until it is proven otherwise."

Peter nodded. "Wise words Jackson, but the multiverse is something that I just don't buy. And nothing you will say will change my mind, until I get evidence that can prove otherwise."

Tim nodded, pulling his phone out to send a quick and discrete message to his brothers. It looked like he might need to stay in school a little bit longer than he was hoping.

 **Tim: He doesn't believe in the multiverse. Plan B.**

###

Damian could say that he was slightly annoyed. Besides drugging Parker's loser friend every single day for the last week, he hadn't done anything remotely interesting. Drugging Parker's friend had proven to be no challenge. This 'Ned' had left his kitchen window open, which allowed Damian to sneak in with the drug and hide in a cupboard. The second that his back was turned, Damian had spiked his coffee with Todd's drug. From there, it was only a matter of time before Damian could sneak out.

Unfortunately, it only got easier from there, as Parker's friend was feeling too unwell to maintain any sense of situational awareness. Damian could have followed him around for over an hour and he would have never noticed. Of course, Damian wouldn't do that. It was far too undignifying. And if Grayson were to claim that it took him one hour longer than usual to drug 'Ned' than the man was a lying.

Damian knew that they had to wait for Drake to earn Parker's friendship and trust, but he wished that it wouldn't take so long. Every second that Drake wasted, was another second that their father didn't know that they were alive. Damian really wanted to go home. And even more than that, he really wanted there to be a home to go home to. And if Grayson was correct, than home was where the heart was. And while Damian would never admit it, even under the threat of death, his heart was with his brothers, Pennyworth, Father, and Alfred the cat. He couldn't lose them. Any of them.

So he waited. And he listened to Drake's daily reports. And when Drake finished, he would demand that he go over them again with greater detail. Meanwhile, Todd would forge Drake's handwriting to do his homework for him. Grayson would sit on the small wooden chair, and rub his chin. Damian could practically see the wheels turning in his head, but when asked, Grayson refused to comment.

On Friday, Grayson stopped Drake at the door. Damian had just gotten back, and was glad that he was able to witness the moment when Grayson looked Drake in the eyes and said, "Today's the day. Invite him over. Say that your big brother insists on meeting your friend. We'll borrow a car and meet you at the school. Peter walks home, so his guardian will be at home. Jason's going to go meet her. Peter gives us any resistance, and we give him a reason to cooperate."

Damian wasn't sure that he liked the way Grayson had said that. He had never seemed so serious before. Even as Batman, Grayson had kept humor in his voice and a smile on his lips. Todd noticed to, because he stopped taking his gun apart for the two hundredth and thirty-seventh time, and actually looked at Grayson.

Grayson must have noticed all the looks because he rolled his eyes. "Nothing that Bruce wouldn't approve of guys. Sheesh. A little trust would be nice."

Todd gave him a large smile and resumed his previous activity. "Sorry Dickiebird. Normally you're never serious. You used the serious voice and we all got worried. On the bright side, the Demon Brat was definitely worried, so congrats! He cares!"

Grayson gave Damian a soft smile and picked him up, hugging him close. Damian resisted on principle, but eventually gave in with a small huff. Grayson seemed to like hugging him, so perhaps he should allow it. Certainly not because he enjoyed the hug, or the comfort that he received from it.

Grayson turned to face the room. "We all clear on what we are going to do today?" When everybody nodded, Grayson continued. "Good. Remember the most important part about today is staying safe. If at any point in time, you think that something's not right, you get the hell out of there, and only then do you send the distress text to everybody. Everybody remember what it is?"

On cue, Damian, Drake, and Todd chorused, "I'm going to be out late tonight. Don't wait up."

Dick smiled and nodded. "Good. Let's do this."

###

Jackson shuffled his feet, and pushed at his glasses, a clear sign that he was nervous. Peter didn't know why, he just knew that Jackson obviously wanted to ask him something, so he waited patiently for the other boy to speak. It was funny, just how quick the two had become friends. Peter had managed to learn that Jackson had been bullied at his previous school, which was the primary reason that his brother had made him switch schools after their parents' murder instead of just moving closer.

"My older brother wants to meet you today. Apparently, I 'haven't shut up about you.' He just wants to meet my friend. It's okay if you don't want to, but it might get him off of my back a little, so if you could, I would really appreciate it. I would also really like it if you wanted to come because I think we're pretty good friends and I hope that you also think that we're pretty good friends. I mean, I think that—"

Peter laughed, interrupting Jackson's ramble. "Sure Jackson. Let me just get my stuff." Jackson gave him a beaming smile and followed him like an eager puppy. Peter thought it was really adorable. When he grabbed his stuff, Peter followed Jackson out to a black SUV that was double parked in the 'Pick Up' zone.

Jackson gestured for him to climb in first. Peter was shocked to see that there was a kid, about ten, already in the backseat, and that he was stuck in the middle with Jackson and the kid on either side of him. There was a guy in the driver's seat that was in his mid-twenties, shades covering his eyes and a blank look on his face. As he maneuvered the car into traffic, Peter felt his heartbeat start to quicken and his 'Spidey-Senses' start to tingle. This was not good. Not good at all.

Turning to Jackson, Peter noted that his demeanor was completely different. No longer was he awkward in his own skin and constantly fidgeting. Jackson offered him a cool smile, but said nothing. Peter tried not to let his panic show. He was Spiderman! He could deal with whatever this was. "Um. Guys?"

The guy in the front seat pulled over and put the car in park. Peter thought about running, but something about the kid next to him scared him a little. The grin he was giving was all teeth, and there was a feral glint in his eyes.

The guy in the front gave him a soft smile, that Peter would under normal circumstances believe was true. "Look. We don't have a lot of time to explain. Rest assured we aren't going to hurt you."

Peter could have sworn the kid next to him mumbled 'yet' but he couldn't be sure. The man licked his lips, and Peter realized that he was just a little bit nervous. Good. He could work with that. "Look. We need your help. We need to talk to Stark, and we don't have a year to wait for an appointment. It's imperative that we speak to him soon. I know that you told Red Robin that you do not believe in the multiverse, but I can assure you that it is real, and that we are very much so from a different version of Earth. We don't know how our presence will effect this planet in the long run, and I don't think that anybody wants to find out. So please, please help us get a meeting with Stark so that we can fix this mess."

Peter looked between them and saw that they all believed what the oldest was spouting. "I don't know what you guys are on, but you're crazy! Let me out! Now!"

The guy's smile wiped off of his face, and a grimace replaced it. "I'm sorry you feel that way. And I here I was being very civil too. Robin video call Red Hood please. Peter, let me tell you something about us. We are our Earth's version of Blackwidow. And here's another thing, we've had two encounters with her and Hawkeye, and have come out on top, both times."

Peter was startled out of his racing thought when a phone was handed to him by the boy next to him. _Robin._ And Jackson, if that was even his real name, was _Red Robin_. When the phone was picked up, it was by a guy wearing sunglasses, standing in front of a wall full of pictures. Peter recognized it instantly. That was his house! He could hear his Aunt May asking the guy if he wanted more tea and cookies, and the guy smirked at the camera before answering affirmatively. The guy then turned the camera around so that he could see his aunt in the kitchen. Turning the camera back around, so that it would once again face him, the guy smirked and said, "I would do what they say. I'm not exactly known for my patience. In fact, at one point, I was a crime lord that carried around a duffle bag full of heads. I'd hate for that to happen to your Aunt May. She's such a nice lady."

Before Peter could yell at him or anything, the guy hung up. Peter gave the phone back to Robin who let out a small scoff. "I would listen to Hood. His trigger finger tends to get a little antsy. We always have to remind him that hostages are better alive than dead."

Peter tried to muster up confidence in his voice that he simply wasn't feeling. "You'll never get away with this. I'm—"

"Spiderman? We know. Are you going to help us get a meeting with Stark or not?"

Peter nodded hopelessly. He couldn't do anything to save his aunt. He just hoped that the Avengers could.

###

Jason hung up the phone without much fanfare. Turning to May, he gave his most charming smile. "I'm sorry. Timmy just called. Apparently, they are 'hanging out' and I'm not supposed to pick him up anymore. I really should get going, if I arrive within the next half hour, my boss might let me finish up my shift. Thank you for the tea and cookies, and the delightful conversation on Charles Dickens. I'm afraid none of my brothers have any taste when it comes to literature."  
He waved to May as he walked away, whistling to himself. He hoped that he hadn't scared the Parker kid too badly. His instructions were to be at the Parker residence until told otherwise, so he had knocked on the door and claimed to be waiting for his brother Jackson. Luckily, Peter mentioned Tim, or it would have been awkward. May had told him that he was an hour early, and Jason had acted really embarrassed and volunteered to stay in 'his' car. May of course had insisted that he stay and they got to talking. She was almost as knowledgeable as Alfred when it came to classic lit, and her cookies and tea weren't half bad either.

Dick had told him that after the whole 'we have your aunt hostage' call, he was supposed to jet and go to the building across from the Avengers' Tower. He would be acting as backup, sniping potential enemies down before they could harm his brothers. Well not down, down. Dick had made him promise non-lethal shots. Spoilsport.

He would though. Not because Dick asked him to, but because the brat had given him such a serious look when he had said, "We don't do that anymore. We rose above, Todd. Don't sink back to their level." Jason didn't ask who 'they' were. He could guess. And if that hadn't convinced him, Dick's kicked puppy expression sure did. Jason hated that look with a passion. He always caved under it, and the bastard knew it.

Pulling up, Jason put on a baseball cap and pulled up the the hood on his red hoodie. It wasn't his helmet, but it would have to do. Grabbing his guitar case, Jason strolled into the building, easily bypassing security. He wished that Stark's security was that stupid. Then they wouldn't have had to put up with the Parker kid.

The top floor was being remodeled, which was perfect. Tim had hacked into the building's servers and drained all the money out of the funds for the remodel. Oops. The remodelers wouldn't be coming back until the money problem was fixed. Which left him with the entire floor empty for his use. Perfect.

Cutting a small hole in the glass, Jason opened up his guitar case and put the gun together expertly. Despite what Damian might think, he didn't take apart and put together his guns for kicks and giggles the last few days. It had been practice for a speedy entry and exit. On a different note, his guitar case seemed so empty without his dojo loot, but Jason supposed that his brothers might need the stuff he stole. He still wasn't sure how Damian was hiding a katana on his person. Or Dick his escrima sticks for that matter. Tim's bo staff was collapsible, so there was no real mystery there.

Lying down on his stomach, Jason lined up his rifle for Tony Stark's office and pulled a tarp over himself. Now all he had to do was wait. Good thing that he could be patient when it counted.

###

Dick, or rather Nightwing, smiled flirtatiously at the receptionist as they made their way inside the building. Red Robin was already hacking into the building, the only indication being that he almost ran into Robin, when they stopped at the security checkpoint.

Nightwing forced himself to remain calm, as Peter talked with the man and showed him his security pass. The guy waved them through, and Nightwing let out a sigh of relief. They waited at the elevators, and Peter fidgeted relentlessly. Robin elbowed him hard in the gut and Nightwing sent his youngest brother a stern glare. Robin didn't look happy, but complied.

The elevator ride was by far the most awkward one that Nightwing had ever been apart of. And he had been on an elevator ride with three ex-girlfriends as well as his current flame. So it was really saying something that this was worse.

When they got to the top floor, Nightwing shuffled the merry little gang out of the elevator and towards the office. Peter sent him a vicious glare before standing in front of the door and letting it take a retinal scan. The door opened and Nightwing waited for everyone to enter before he walked in and closed it behind him.

Looking around, Nightwing whistled in appreciation. He had to admit, it was a nice office. He should take a few photos to show Bruce. Use it as an example of what the Watchtower could look like, though it was unlikely that Bruce would pay for something so trivial. Or maybe he could get Oliver to pay for it. He would just need to say a few careful words, while the man was slightly drunk, and wham! Instant Watchtower makeover! He only wished it was that easy with Bruce.

There was a small flash in his peripheral, and Nightwing turned to face the window. There were two more brief flashes of light. A hello of sorts, he supposed. Nightwing turned to window and gave a small finger wave. He wasn't sure exactly where Red Hood was located, but there was no doubt that his brother could see him, if the flashes of the rifle scope were any indication.

Nightwing was reassured by this, and gave a wide smile. They would be okay. Between the three of them, with Red Hood as backup, they would be fine. More than fine. Together, the four of them could do anything.

###

Tony walked into his office expecting to see Peter. JARVIS had informed him that the little rugrat had not only entered the building, but had gone into the Avengers' 'headquarters'. Tony didn't care, he was just curious what had warented a home visit instead of a phone call.

So imagine his surprise when he walked in to find Peter tied to the ceiling by his own webs, some of which were covering his mouth in a makeshift gag, and three other people in the room. The oldest was glaring at the youngest, who must have been like ten. The middle one had his head in his hands, and seemed to be muttering 'why me?' over and over again.

Tony must have made some sort of shocked noise, because they all turned to face him, though none of them actually seemed to be surprised by his appearance. Noticing that Tony was staring at poor Peter, the youngest let out a haughty sniff and shrugged casually. "What? He was being annoying."

Tony's shock only increased when he came to the full realization that this ten year old boy had managed to tie up Spiderman with his own webs by himself. The oldest gave him an apologetic smile, making no move to get Peter down, and said, "Mr. Stark. Sorry for the unscheduled visit, but we really do have some urgent business to discuss."

Tony could just feel the headache that this was going to cause.

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 **A/N: Okay...who saw them kidnapping Spiderman coming? I hope I wasn't too obvious about my intentions. And poor Ned. Damian did have to poison him for the sake of this plot, but I assure you that Ned is fine. Especially now that Damian's not spiking his food and beverage every morning.**

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 **Next Chapter:**

 **There will be a fight scene, and that is all I'm willing to say. Though I don't think the whole chapter will be a fight.**

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 **To all those worried about Bruce...don't be! I can't get rid of DaddyBats! What do you guys take me for? A monster? Rest assured, while he may be put through the emotional wringer in this arc, he will survive to be laughed at in another story arc ;)**

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 **I've had a few requests for heroes that people want to make a brief appearance in this story. Please, let me know who you want to see, and if it works with my overall plot, I will try to make it happen. I won't necessarily be able to do all requests, but I will do my best.**

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 **Please note that I actually looked up fun facts about Peter Parker for this chapter. His favorite sports team is in fact the Mets. I did not know that, and now it will be an obscure fact that I will always remember, despite the fact that I often cannot remember things that are actually useful in day to day life.**

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 **As always, all reviews are welcomed, whether they be negative, neutral, positive, or just someone saying hi..**

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 **Please have an amazingly awesome day! And give a smile to a stranger simply to make their day a little bit better!**


	67. Avengers Assemble (Part 4)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 4)**

Dick knew from the very beginning that Tony wasn't going to help them. He fiddled with his bracelets in a way that suggested that it was supposed to be unnoticeable and asked a lot of questions that forced Dick to lose focus on what the man was doing. Surprisingly, he did not help Peter down, which the teen didn't seem very pleased about.

When Tony started to talk about the massive energy disturbance that would be required for multiverse travel, Dick sent Tim a subtle look, and his brother used the 'bat' sign language to tell him that he was aware of whatever Tony was doing, and that he was handling it. Dick was glad that at least one of them was on top of things. The stuff that Tony was going on about was honestly confusing him. Not to mention that he had lost interest what seemed like ages ago. Instead, he was trying to piece together just how much this room had cost. And whether or not he could take that fern in the corner to his Earth with him. He would name it Ferninand and gift him to the best caretaker in the world. Alfred would appreciate the gesture.

His thoughts of Ferninand were interrupted by the door opening and a bunch of people walking in. The only two he recognized were Blackwidow and Hawkeye, but he could safely assume that the rest were the other Avengers. Great. This couldn't get any worse. And because the universe just loved to prove him wrong, Damian unsheathed his katana in record speed and lunged at the tall, very muscular, handsome (Dick was secure enough in his masculinity to recognize when another man was hotstuff), man that must have been the norse god.

This of course was not the kind of thing that people who came in peace did, so the dude dressed like the American flag yelled out something that was probably a battle cry. Dick took out his escrima sticks and twirled them around his hands as he was circled by both assassins. He noted briefly that Damian was holding his own against the hammer wielding god, and that Tim must have disabled Tony's suit because the guy was yelling for someone named JARVIS. Tim was using his bo staff to fend off the American flag man. There was also some scrawny man huddled in the corner chanting, "Don't get mad. Don't get mad." Dick had no idea what that meant, but seeing as he wasn't engaging, sent calming vibes his way.

Dick was reminded that he should probably focus on his own battle, when Blackwidow lunged at him, and he was forced to flip away. Hawkeye was hanging back, bow drawn and arrow following his every move. Dick wasn't sure which one he should take out first. They were both dangerous. He was just glad that he was the one fighting two-on-one and not one of his brothers. Granted, his were also human, but if the Batfam was anything to go off of, that's what made them dangerous and unpredictable.

Blackwidow took out two guns that would have made Jason drool. When she started firing at him, Dick ran and flipped out of the way, and hoped that she wouldn't hit one of his brothers by mistake. Or worse, on purpose. Unfortunately, he ended up cornered. Weighing his options, he couldn't think of anything less dangerous than simply rushing her. He'd probably end up shot, but maybe, he would live to tell the tale.

Jason took that moment to decide to start shooting from wherever he had hidden his sniper's nest. Dick knew that snipers didn't shoot unless they knew that they wouldn't miss. One shot, one kill, as the marines said. Jason took that motto to heart, even if he stopped doing the whole killing thing. Point was, Jason shot both of the guns out of her hands, and she was surprised enough to give Nightwing the opportunity to rush her. With a flying kick to the head, Blackwidow was down for the count.

Dick barely had time to do a mini happy dance before a very deadly pointy arrow was being shot his way. Once again the dance started, and Dick nimbly flipped and cartwheeled out of the way of the sharp projectiles. It was a familiar dance. Roy had used him as target practice all the time as kids. Granted, he used a less deadly arrow, but still. Same concept.

Or at least it would've been all fun and games until Dick realized that if he dodged the last arrow, Peter would be hit. And considering the fact that he had not stopped Damian from taking the kid's web thingies and using them to tie him up like some sort of perverted pinata, it would be his fault if the poor kid died. So instead of leaping away in a steller display of his acrobatics, Dick simply shifted so that the arrow would hit him in the shoulder.

It hurt like a bitch. Gritting his teeth, Dick pulled out the arrow. "Watch where you're firing these things asshat! You almost killed the Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman! You're lucky I'm a nice person, not everybody would take an arrow for the kid they kidnapped and blackmailed!"

Taking down Hawkeye after that was pretty easy. They guy was good. Really good. But Dick had shocked him by taking an arrow for the 'enemy'. That, and Dick was pretty angry about the fact that he now had a bloody hole in his shoulder. It hurt. And Dick did not like that one bit.

Maybe to himself, Dick would admit that his next move was petty, but despite all of their pestering, he would never once admit it to his brothers. After knocking out Hawkeye with the spinning ninja kicks most young boys dream about, Dick had pinned him to the wall three feet off the ground with the arrow he had pulled from his shoulder. Served the guy right. Maybe next time he would remember that people didn't like getting shot at.

Biting his lip, Dick surveyed the ongoing battle. He needed to get a better visual, so that he would know best who needed assistance. And there was only one way to do that in his books. Pilfering a grapple off of Blackwidow's prone body, Dick disappeared into the rafters.

###

Tim was really glad that he had managed to hack JARVIS, Tony Stark's AI before the Avengers entered the room and Damian attacked them. It took out one major player in this battle, which bettered their odds. Tony had managed to get his suit on before Tim's program rendered it useless. The guy was asking JARVIS what the problem was, problem was, JARVIS was now only capable of speaking the language that Dick and Jason had once made up when they were both drunk. Nobody was capable of understanding that. Tim was just lucky that he had a flash drive containing video evidence of said event on a chain around his neck when they were transported. From there, it was easy to upload into his burner phone and then create a language algorithm for JARVIS.

Now, Tim found himself battling against Captain America, if his research was correct. The guy was really good, and Tim could understand why he was labeled a super soldier. He found himself more on the defence than he was used to, and definitely more than he would like.

Gritting his teeth, he launched an intense and quick attack, focusing each of his strikes on areas that he had noted were the Captain's weak spots. There weren't many, and the man saw through his plan quickly and adjusted accordingly. Tim was left once again on the defence. He catalogued the Captain's moves and he attack patterns. His brain was working on overtime trying to supply him with the information he needed to take this man down.

He got in the rhythm of the battle. Noted the momentum, and the patterns. He would get the upper hand as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Said opportunity came in the form of a flying escrima stick that hit the Captain on the back of the head. Tim smirked as he once again attacked, this time, forcing the Captain to play defense.

###

Damian snarled as the man fended off his attacks. He was displeased at how the man acted as if he were some insignificant insect pestering him. He was an al Ghul, a Wayne, and more importantly, he was Robin! He demanded respect, and it annoyed him that this man didn't care. It shouldn't matter that he had no knowledge of the vast history of _Robin_ and of all the training that he had gone through to obtain the name. He was apart of a legacy, and that was more than this man could say.

He was a norse god if Drake's intel was reliable. Damian grudgingly admitted that it probably was. Drake was good at only one thing, and that was research. He was useless in everything else. In fact, Damian was surprised that his general incompetence hadn't led to the failure to kidnap Parker. It was truly a miracle. Though it did speak wonders about Parker's intuition and intelligence.

Damian's real problem was that the man's hammer kept getting in the way of his katana. If only he were to be distracted for a moment, Damian could pounce on him and end their battle. Todd managed to cause this distraction by shooting at the man's feet. Damian could practically hear the man laughing and shouting "Dance, fucker, dance!" Grayson would probably scold him if he were to say it out loud, so Damian kept this to himself.

Launching himself at the giant blonde man, Damian expected an easy victory. He expected that he could cut the tendons in the man's hands to make him drop the hammer, and then flip onto his shoulders and punch him until he was knocked out. Perhaps, he could even use the hilt of his katana to knock him out. What he didn't expect was for the man to turn around so suddenly and swing his hammer full force into his abdomen. Damian closed his eyes as he flew, already knowing that he would fall unconscious before he hit the ground.

###

Dick jumped out of the rafters and onto the norse god's shoulders, causing him to stumble and drop the hammer. Flipping off of him, he watched with disinterest, as Jason fired at the man's legs to keep him away as Dick reached for the hammer. He wasn't sure what he was planning to do. Maybe, he was going to swing it at the guy and give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe, he was going to use it as a giant gavel and get everyone's attention to tell them just how stupid and pointless this battle was. Maybe, he would throw it out of the shattered floor-length windows.

He never had a chance to figure it out, because the second he picked it up, the norse god yelled, "Halt! He is worthy of the hammer! They are not our enemies."

Dick had no fucking clue what a hammer had to do with whether or not someone was an enemy, but he was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Standing tall, he shouted, "Red Robin. Stand down." Waving at the building across the street, Dick signed for Jason to stand down and to join them. He hoped that the flash of the scope meant that Jason was for once listening to what he said without arguing.

Seeing as nobody was set on killing each other anymore, Dick rushed over to where Damian was struggling to sit up, letting out small pained gasps. Running gentle hands down his sides, Dick was relieved to feel that nothing was seriously broken. Damian might have had a few fractured ribs, but he would be fine. And if the glare was any sort of indication, he would be feel more fine the second that Dick stopped touching him.

Meanwhile, Tim helped Peter down, and stripped him of his gag. Norse guy helped Hawkeye down and gently shook Blackwidow awake, careful not to startle her. America man helped the nerd up from his corner, and Dick realized that he was probably the guy who turned into the giant green monster. It was probably a good thing that he didn't get angry.

Turning to face Tony, Dick said, "Our brother is coming, you better give access to him come up here before he shoots someone or sets off of an explosive."

Tony grumbled something about JARVIS and Tim cut in before Dick had the chance to question him. "JARVIS is fine. I switched his language settings back to English."

"What was that? It was no language that I've ever heard before."

"Made up language. I had no idea which you knew, so I went for the one I was certain that you didn't."

Tony made some sort of impressed noise, and Dick watched as the metal suit stripped away from his body and folded into a compact shape before it left the room. "JARVIS. Give access to a…what's his name?"

Dick shrugged. "He could be going by Todd Peters. Or by Red Hood. Or by Drake Grayson. Or by John Wayne. Just give access to the guy carrying a guitar case and wearing a red hoodie."

They waited in tense silence for Jason. Nobody seemed willing to start the conversation, and Dick didn't want Jason to miss anything. Less than five minutes passed before the doors were thrown open and Jason walked in as if he owned the place. He sent a smirk Peter's way, and Dick really wanted to face palm. His brother was being purposefully annoying now. Great.

Clapping his hands loudly, Dick interrupted whatever it was that Peter was going to say. "Not that I'm not grateful, because I am, but what does the hammer have to do with things?"

The norse god looked at him curiously before admitting, "Only those worthy of the power of Thor can wield the hammer. You must be pure of heart."

Dick bit his lip and nodded, deciding not to touch the whole 'pure of heart' thing. He wasn't. Not really. Instead, he tried to make light of the situation. "Obviously, the hammer believes me, so does that mean that you guys do too? I know the whole multiverse thing is hard to swallow, but we really are from another Earth, and we need your help getting home."

Tony scrunched up his nose while the other Avengers made noises of disbelief. "I still don't buy that kid. The amount of energy required to skyrocket you out of one version of Earth and into another is immense. You should be dead. And by the sounds of it, we aren't just the next Earth over. There are significant differences between our two versions."

Dick rolled his eyes. For a genius, he sure was stupid. "The fact that we should be dead, is the problem. It means, that our side won't be looking for us, and that we need to find our own way back. Preferably before our father does something stupid and gets himself killed in his grief."

Norse dude patted him roughly on the back. "I believe the wielder of small sticks! He is worthy of my hammer. We must help them return to their home Stark."

Dick wasn't sure whether or not he was just complimented, but he would take what he could get. "Um thanks. Name's Nightwing. And these are my brothers Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin. We are thankful for your hospitality, and apologize for our part in this mess. Especially to you Peter. I hope that you know that your Aunt was never in actual danger."

"Well. I do now. Thanks for the mini heart attack. And for fake friending me. And for taking me hostage. I really liked that part."

Dick rolled his eyes. You would think that he had never been anyone's hostage before. At least they were nice kidnappers. Except for the whole, we'll harm your aunt thing. It wasn't like they were actually going to do it. She was fine. A bit confused probably, but fine.

Tony must have felt the same way because he grumbled, "Your fine kid. You can lay off of the sarcasm. Name's Tony Stark, a.k.a. Ironman. And these are my colleagues Thor, Nat, Clint, Steve, and Bruce."

Dick's heart panged, but he tried not to let it show. Instead, he surveyed the room, and then looked pointedly at his bleeding shoulder. He had almost forgotten about it in all of the excitement. "So? You guys got any good doctors on staff? Because I took an arrow for Peter, so I'd prefer not to have a crazy scar if possible."

Tony seemed to consider this for a moment. "Actually, I know just the guy. And he might be able to help you guys with your little problem."

Dick watched as he walked away before turning to face the Blackwidow, _Nat_ , and giving her his best flirtatious smile. "How's the head feeling?"

"Probably better than that shoulder. Want me to apply pressure?"

Jason watched the exchange before bursting out, "Come on! I know you have a weakness for redheads, but she tried to kill us! Multiple times!"

Dick just rolled his eyes before waving off his concerns. "All in the past now. And you know that my type is redheads who can theoretically kick my ass."

Tim looked up from whatever he was doing and gave him a sly smile. "Only theoretically?"

Damian cut off whatever winning retort Dick was about to come up with. "Why are we bringing Nightwing's thing for red hair into this. The woman only asked if she could help him with his bandages. I do believe you are looking way to far into things Hood."

All three brothers turned to face Damian in disbelief. How could he be so bloodthirsty and yet so innocent at the same time? Dick really wanted to scoop him up into a hug, but he doubted that Damian or his shoulder would appreciate it.

Tony reappeared putting an end to Dick's internal debate on whether or not he should risk hugging his little brother. "Dr. Strange said that he was on his way."

Seconds later, something that looked kinda like a boom tube opened up right next to them. Out stepped a man in a green tunic and a red cloak. "Correction Tony, I'm here. Now what can I do for you?"

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 **A/N: So this chapter was a bit shorter than the previous ones, but one can you do? Sorry for the wait, I got sick and didn't feel like typing.**

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 **So the fight is over, and now they are all going to live happily ever after. Just kidding. No _Spoilers_ but I will tell you that there will be more than one more chapter left, and that Bruce will soon be finding out that his children are alive and healthy. **

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 **I hope that you enjoyed this chapter despite the fact that it was just one giant fight scene and there wasn't much I don't know, plot(?), to it. Let me know what you thought and who and what you want to see in the upcoming chapters**

 **Reviews make my day and spark my creativity.**


	68. Avengers Assemble (Part 5)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 5)**

Jason paced around like a caged animal. A tiger. He was definitely a tiger. Or a panther. Those were cool too. Dick, the utter bastard, was sitting on a sofa shirtless as 'Dr. Strange' carefully stitched his shoulder. Jason had to admit that the guy had good technique. But that was not what made Dick such a bastard. What made him a bastard was the fact that he had his good arm resting on the back of the sofa behind _Nat._ The lady had literally just tried to kill him, and he was flirting with her! He would have had a few bullet holes in him if it weren't for Jason, and the man hadn't even thanked him!

Jason continued to pace as Arrow Dude attempted to question them. "So where are you from?"

Dick gave him an easy grin, and Jason rolled his eyes. Dick was going to be an asshole about this. Not that there was any surprise there. "Oh, we live in a city that doesn't exist here."

"You live in? Not where your from?"

Dick cocked his head and gave the man a sly smile. "Yes. We're all from different places. Brothers by choice and not by blood."

Jason watched as the guy stared at him. He couldn't blame the guy, Dick could be a real shithead sometimes. Dick seemed to pick up on the unasked question because he leaned back on the sofa, smile growing by the second. "I guess you want to know where I'm from? You could say I'm from a little bit of everywhere. But you know what that is like, don't you Clint?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Jason decided that he should probably interrupt before the Dick had a chance to draw this thing out. "Circus freak, meet the walking talking circus that I sometimes magnanimously call my brother."

Tim glanced up from the laptop he had procured from who knows where. "Nice word. Did you actually pay attention in class for once?"

Jason snarled. "My taste in literature is far more refined than yours Timbuktu. I'll have you know that I just finished rereading Don Quixote." Turning his attention back to the fake archer, he noted that the guy looked startled and shaken. Jason supposed that he could understand the feeling. They were amazing detectives, and had a knack for figuring out information that others sought to keep private. "Look we're heroes. Technically vigilantes. We're not operatives for some government organization. End of discussion."

Tim sighed. "What Red Hood means to say, is that we work for the city of Gotham and for an organization called the Justice League, which is kind of like the Avengers. Our mentor is one of the founding members. Though, I don't see how this will help send us back to our world. Dr. Strange, Tony mentioned that you may be able to assist us is the matter of getting us home?"

The man looked up from where he was finishing stitching Dick's shoulder. "Perhaps. I'll need to look further into it. Wong will know. I'll come back when I have further information, until then."

Dr. Strange made a hand motion, and a portal appeared. Tim watched curiously. It was fascinating, perhaps he could speak to Zatanna and Dr. Fate about doing something similar when they returned home. It would be interesting to see if replication was at all possible, or if the portal was something unique to only this world.

Damian wasn't pleased to be kept waiting. He made a scoffing noise, and Dick immediately stood and shuffled over to him, most likely to prevent him from mauling someone. After a few moments, Damian let out a deep sigh and sagged in his seat. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, can you acquire a sketchpad and some colored pencils for me? The good kind, you are a billionaire Stark, you can afford it. I would like to entertain myself."

Dick nodded, pleased at Damian's mostly successful attempt at manners. Tim supposed he was impressed too. The kid was hardly ever that polite. It must be a cold day in hell.

Tony nodded and repeated the request to JARVIS, who still boggled Tim's mind. The AI was just so advanced, he loved it. He wanted one. Maybe Tony wouldn't mind if he copied JARVIS's programming and applied him to the Watchtower. It would be epic.

Jason was meanwhile, circling Thor's hammer. Tim had a bad feeling about where this was going. He poked the handle and Tim held his breath. "So how does a hammer decide worthiness? And what the fuck does being worthy mean?"

Tony waved a hand dismissively. Perhaps the question had been asked more times than they could count. "Whoever is worthy gets to wield the power of Thor. Become ruler of Asgard and all that crap."

Jason blinked. "So Dickface is worthy. Great. Now there's an actual reason behind my inferiority complex. No longer, can anyone call me insane or paranoid. Because the Golden Boy is officially worthy."

Dick looked ready to explode, with what, Tim didn't know. It was probably best that he didn't find out. "Shut up, Hood. You haven't even tried to pick up the damn hammer. You can't say that your not worthy until you try and fail to pick the damn thing up! Besides, we all know that Nightwing can be a major Dick. I'm sure that your more worthy in certain respects than he is."

A rare flicker of vulnerability crossed Jason's face, but it was gone so fast that Tim was left doubting that he had actually seen it. It was entirely possible that it hadn't ever existed. He was sure Jason would claim that it didn't.

Luckily, Thor called the hammer to him before Jason could do something stupid like attempt to pick the damn thing up. Whether or not Jason was worthy, there would be an epic fight on their hands. Tim decided that he should be a nice brother and sort of change the subject. Well, at least make it funny. "So, what happens if you put the hammer in an elevator?"

"It would still go up." Judging by the way Dick had jumped on that, he had been waiting for a change in topic too. Tim was suddenly reminded that Dick, for whatever reason, thought that they were all better versions of himself. Like Bruce had upgraded or something. His oldest brother had a tendency to blame everything on himself, and Tim supposed that meant all of their issues too. He was probably more torn up about being 'worthy' than Jason was about the perceived universe's slight against him.

Jason licked his lips, before shaking his head with a chuckle. "Elevator's not worthy."

Steve and Tony shared a look before they burst out laughing. "Oh god! That's what we said!"

Thor just shook his head amused by their antics. "Midgardians. Your antics never cease to amuse me."

Jason's lips twitched with annoyance. "He says that the same way as Wonder Babe talks about men."

Dick opened his mouth but then closed it again with a frown. Tim couldn't blame him. That was a point that was hard to argue against. Despite all the respect that they had for Wonder Woman, after working with her, and watching her date Bruce on and off for years, it was hard to ignore the fact that she was quite sexist. She always seemed to be the most surprised by what the Bat Clan could do, and Tim had long suspected that if they were all women, she would have never been shocked at their accomplishments. It was annoying to say the least.

It was Damian who broke the silence. "Do not let the fact that we are mortals fool you Asgardian. We are so much more than human. Many have speculated that we have some sort of powers because of the superhuman feats that we have accomplished. Perhaps, you should remember the fight we had, if I remember correctly, we were hardly suffering a quick defeat. And that was without our usual arsenal of weapons or preemptive planning. I would lose the attitude. You are not so much better than we are. I highly doubt that your team appreciates the attitude either."

The room fell into awkward silence and Damian turned around with a harumph. Tim watched as Dick ran a hand down the boy's back and he seemed to calm down. Another woman with long red hair walked in. Smiling at them, she crouched down next to Damian and offered him a hand. "Hi. My name's Pepper Potts. I got the sketchbook and pencils that you asked for."

Damian looked down at the offered hand and tentatively shook it. "Thank you Potts. This is more than adequate."

Pepper let out a small laugh and stood up. "You're so sweet." Tim didn't think that Damian had ever been called sweet by anyone besides Dick. But Dick called everybody sweet and adorable, so his opinion didn't really count.

Tim watched as Dick's eyes literally turned into hearts. Typical. Offering her a megawatt smile, Dick stuck out his hand. "Name's Nightwing. You already met my youngest brother Robin, and these two are my younger brothers Red Hood and Red Robin."

Before Pepper could fully extend her arm to shake Dick's hand, Tony jumped in between them. "No, no, no! You take that flirty smile away from Pepper! You can go be a James Bond impersonator with someone else."

Pepper raised an amused eyebrow at Tony. "Oh? And if I like his James Bond impersonation?"

Tony spluttered before settling on a scowl. "You're only supposed to like me. Stop being so inconsiderate."

Pepper just rolled her eyes before giving the boys a finger wave. Her hips swaying just a little too much to be natural, she left the room, leaving behind a pouting Tony.

Jason punched Dick in the arm with a loud, "Dude!"

Dick gave him an unapologetic shrug, grinning bashfully. "I flirt when I get nervous."

Tim stared at him for a moment as if trying to compute that excuse. "No you don't. Normally, you give awe inspiring speeches that unite everybody and give us the courage to fight and win against breathtaking odds."

Dick looked at him with a shocked expression, before raising his hands to fend off Jason's punches. Granted, if Jason were really trying to hit Dick, he would be aiming for Dick's neck. In other words, the two idiots were bored and were playfully 'sparring' with each other. Tim wouldn't be surprised if they dragged some of the Avengers into it.

Seeing that Damian was distracted by his sketchpad, Tim silently made his way over to Peter, who was hanging out in the corner by the fern plant. Dick had probably named the plant, but Tim was too exhausted to ask.

Sliding up next to Peter, Tim continued to watch his brothers. "Jackson Peters is a variation of me you know. He's more shy, and he's a chemistry nerd, but our thoughts and opinions are the same."

Peter looked at him, and Tim allowed the teen to observe him while he continued to stare at his ridiculous brothers. One would think that they would be slightly more mature by now, especially as the two that were currently acting like idiots were actually older than him. "You're really smart for someone who claims not to be a chemistry buff."

"I am a genius. R&D is more up my alley though. Chemistry is more Hood's thing. He's an expert in anything involving explosives."

It was quiet for a moment, and Tim wondered whether or not Peter felt like the silence was awkward. Jason always reminded Tim just how socially inept he could be, and he hoped that he wasn't accidently making Peter uncomfortable. God he hated socialising. Stick him in a lab and he was smoother than Dick, stick him in a place where he actually had to talk to people, and he turned into a mess. Finally, Peter spoke again. "So, are there a lot of teen heroes on your Earth? Or are you guys the only ones."

Tim let out a small chuckle and shook his head. Okay, so they were good. That was good. He could work with that. "There are multiple teams comprising of teen heroes. But it all started with Nightwing. You see, he was the first kid hero. Everything began when Nightwing was eight."

###

Tony couldn't get a read on these people. They were children. Yet, they were better trained than most people that he knew. And he knew some pretty badass assassin ninjas. Though by the sound of it, they were really smart. Or at the very least, Red Robin was really smart. He was the one that had hacked JARVIS and his suit. The kid didn't even seem to be ruffled by the challenge. In fact, he seemed to be smug.

Tony really didn't like the fact that he was over there talking to Peter like they were old friends. The guy helped kidnap the kid! And why was Peter interacting with one of his kidnappers! He should be angry! And throwing some sort of teenage melodramatic hissy fit. Oh. My. God. He was turning into a worried father. He would never be cool again, despite his status as a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. How was he ever going to woo Pepper away from the James Bond impersonator Nightwing now?

Bruce must have not realized that he was having a crisis because he approached with his arms crossed. "So. Do you think that Strange will be able to fix this? Cause I think that we should probably start looking into a more scientific approach. Maybe even call our friends down in Wakanda."

With a dramatic flick of his wrist, Tony shoved his hand in Bruce's face. "Not now Banner. I am having a life crisis of epic proportions."

Bruce blinked before tilting his head like a confused puppy. "What? Tony, we have to be serious. These kids need to get back to their own version of Earth, and we don't even know where that is! Not to mention, we have no clue if our timestreams match up. For all we know, every hour here is equivalent to a year on their Earth. If we don't hurry, they may not have a home to return to."

"That's a little dramatic, isn't it? I mean, I get that you are trying to spur me into action and all that crap, but come on. What's the likelihood of that?"

Red Robin appeared besides him like a tiny wraith, and it nearly made Tony let out a very manly yelp. "It's actually far more likely than it is unlikely that all the different versions of Earth have their own timestream that differs slightly from any other version of Earth. I can only hope that this Earth's progression of time is relatively the same as ours. Or, that our Earth's time progresses slower, so that our absence won't be as sorely missed."

It was only after Red Robin stopped talking that Tony realized that the rest of the room had gone silent. No longer were Nightwing and Red Hood fighting, instead the two stood next to each other and both crossed their arms in an almost disturbing display of synchrony. Tony suddenly felt a chill go down the back of his neck. These guys were dangerous. More so than they gave them credit for. They were united, knew each other's movements forwards and backwards. If they truly wanted to kill them all, Tony had little doubt that they could. Even if the battle ended with them worse for wear. Because even though the Avengers were a team, they didn't trust each other. Not really at least. The boys didn't have that problem.

It was the youngest one that spoke up first. "While this news is troubling, I do believe that the best course of action is to continue on. We must not get distracted by this new information."

Nightwing pursed his lips slightly and straightened his shoulders. He suddenly looked much, much older, and Tony was reminded that according to Red Robin (who he had been eavesdropping on), the young man had been training, had been a hero, since he was eight years old. Tony had no clue what eight year old decided to be a hero. He had been a schmuck his whole life until he had become Ironman. That wasn't to say that he still wasn't a schmuck, because he was. He just happened to be a schmuck that was also happened to be a hero.

Nightwing licked his lips before nodding to himself. "Red Robin, I want you to show Tony and Banner all the energy readings from our arrival. Hood, you and Peter are going to look at the readings and try to determine if it was a machine or something organic that sent us here. Robin, you and I are on standby until we actually need to build something."

Captain America held his hands up in a placating gesture. "Now hold on just a minute. We don't know yet whether or not Dr. Strange will be able to help. Why don't we wait until we know what's happening on his end of things before we start deploying the troops."

"You're right. We don't know. But I do know that we are wasting time, and that I'm going stir crazy. So either we get to work, or you learn exactly why Hood called me a walking talking circus. Besides, we have no idea what sent us here in the first place, which means, more people could be sent through a portal. Civilians, who don't have the skills to figure out the best way to go home, or the means to protect themselves. Or worse, a confused and scared hero who will not hesitate to defend themselves against S.H.I.E.L.D. Not to mention the havoc that would be caused if one of our villains managed to make it through."

"I think we can handle villains."

"The Joker's idea of a joke is to beat someone nearly to death with a crowbar, and then cause an explosion to finish them off. Oh. There was also one time where he thought is was funny to kidnap over fifty civilians, and leave clues for the police to find them. Long story short, after the loss of four police officers, the SWAT team came across a warehouse which they believed held the hostages. They breached, and found that there was nobody inside. The warehouse did however contain a gas that caused all of them to slowly laugh to death. Meanwhile, across town a warehouse exploded and killed all the hostages. There are a lot more stories, I can keep going if you'd like."

Tony felt sick to his stomach. He had never dealt with someone so clearly psychotic in his time as a hero. "Isn't he sent to an institution or something?"

Nightwing rolled his eyes. "Yes. But there is a breakout from Arkham every other Thursday it would seem. Really messes with me watching _Grey's_. Besides, he turned his last psychiatrist criminally insane. Now she dresses up as a harlequin and is his sidekick. Though, why she stays in that abusive relationship in beyond me."

Tony felt like his brain was about to short circuit and melt out of his ears. It was definitely time to change the subject. "You sure that the kid can keep up with the mechanics?"

"I am not a child. I will—"

The kid was cut off by Nightwing's hand covering his mouth. "Yeah, I'm sure. He built me a flying car."

Tony really wanted to question the kid about the flying car, but the Captain cleared his throat quite rudely. "Fine. Whatever. I won't ask about the functionality or the maneuverability. I won't even ask the weight limit. Come on. The party pooper has spoken. Time to get to work."

###

When Strange finally did arrive, Dick was listening to Tim explain that it was a crossing of two different kinds of beams that got them into this mess. Two different weapons that when crossed sent them to another version of Earth. Honestly, Tim's explantation was a lot more in depth, but that was the most that Dick could understand. Well, he would probably understand more if he actually paid any attention, but that would require a lot more effort than he was willing to invest. Especially, as he knew that he wouldn't understand much anyways.

Point was, they knew how they got to this Earth when Dr. Strange arrived through the portal thingy. Dick knew the second that he stepped through, that it probably wasn't going to be great news. His face was far too grim for that. Unless his face was naturally like that, but Dick seriously doubted that.

The good doctor shared a look with Tony and the Captain before turning to face him. "Wong and I scoured all of the ancient books for a way to send you boys home, but were unable to find anything. We were however able to find a way to send a message."

Dick pursed his lips, his mind racing. "I assume that there is a reason that you cannot use the same method to send us through. Some sort of weight requirement, or something."

Dr. Strange nodded. "Yes. I can only send something inorganic and under ten pounds. Unfortunately, you guys break both requirements."

"Right. Okay. Boys, help me write a letter to the Boss Man. We need to make sure that he believes it's us. Any and all secrets between you and the Boss would be appreciated."

His brothers shuffled closer to him and Dick smiled as a piece of paper and a fountain pen appeared in front of them. Shaking his head, Dick began to write as his brothers told him their secrets. If nothing else, at least they were growing closer. Though if the frown on Jason's face was anything to go by, that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

Sealing the letter in an envelope, Dick wrote **IMPORTANT: FOR BATMAN'S EYES ONLY!**

With reluctance, Dick handed it over to Dr. Strange's awaiting hand. "You need to make sure that it goes directly to Batman, or Agent A. Anyone else, and it will go ignored."

Dr. Strange nodded, before murmuring something under his breath and moving his hands around. The letter disappeared in a fire, leaving Dick gaping. "You sure that you didn't just burn our feelings into smithereens?"

"Relatively."

"I'll take it."

Dr. Strange quirked an amused eyebrow before turning to face the rest of the Avengers. "Unfortunately, I can no longer be of assistance. I hope that science gives you the results that you desire."

With that, the man opened a portal and stepped through it, gone before Dick could even open his mouth to thank him. Whatever. Dick didn't really want to thank him anyways. Though he had kinda sorta solved at least part of the problem. Maybe he could write the dude a letter and light it on fire. The guy seemed to think that was a more apt way of delivery than the post office.

Tim was way more focused and on point than he was. He looked at Tony and Steve straight in the eyes, and calmly stated, "What's our next move. We figured out why we're here, but we still don't know where here is in comparison to our Earth. Not to mention we need to figure out how to get from here back to our home."

Tony nodded before clapping his hands. "Well guys, it looks like we are going to take a field trip to Africa."

Dick gave them all a serious look. "Sounds good to me. One condition though."

"Name it."

Dick heard his brothers groaning as if they knew what he was about to say. They probably did. It didn't bother him, so he continued in the most serious voice that he could muster. "I have to pet some elephants."

Never let it be said that Dick did not have his priorities straight. Though judging by the facepalms, the flabbergasted expressions, and the looks of pure confusion, the others did not see the urgency in this request. No matter, Dick knew what was truly important. And elephants were always number one. Though at the moment they were tied with getting home. Good thing that Dick was a great multitasker.

###

When an envelope appeared in a rush of flames before gently floating down into his hands, Bruce was confused. When he saw Dick's messy handwriting declaring that the letter inside was for his eyes only, Bruce was almost positive that Dick had left a letter with Zatanna in the case of his death. Bruce really didn't want to open it. He didn't want to read what Dick had written while he was still alive. He didn't want to read that Dick loved him, that his brothers needed him, that he didn't was Bruce to go into a dark space. Bruce just wanted to hold his son. He wanted to hold all of his sons.

He must have stared at that damn letter for over two hours, because when he looked up, it was nearing midnight and Alfred was hovering worriedly. Alfred finally cleared his throat. "Perhaps you should open it Master Bruce. Master Dick obviously wanted you to know something, and frankly, I believe that not reading it would be a mistake that you would regret for the rest of your life."

Bruce couldn't help but secretly agree, but he knew himself well enough to also know that he didn't care right now. "I can't Alfred. I just can't."

"Shall I read it out loud for you, Sir?"

Bruce considered this for a moment before sighing and handing the letter over. There would be nothing in that letter that he wouldn't have allowed Alfred to read anyways, and if he didn't at least listen to the letter, Alfred would be even more disappointed in him.

They didn't say anything as Alfred carefully ripped the seal open and eased the paper out. Clearing his throat, Alfred began to read.

 _Bruce,_

 _I know that right now you probably think that Jason, Tim, Damian, and I are dead, but we aren't. Two kinds of energy beam thingymajigs mixed together and sent us to a different version of Earth where there is no Justice League. Instead, there is a group of heroes called the Avengers, who have kindly offered to help us get home._

 _A sorcerer was able to find a way to send this letter to you, but unfortunately he cannot help send us as we are both too heavy and alive. But we haven't given up. The local genius billionaire playboy philanthropist is calling all of his contacts to help get us back to you. We will be back soon. I'd bet my entire inheritance on it, so don't do anything stupid._

 _Bruce, I know you, which means that I know that right now you think some sick person made this as some sort of joke. I can assure you that it is not a joke. I know that you don't believe me, so I'm going to tell you something that only the two of us know. As far as I know, you never told Alfred, and I certainly didn't. Though knowing him, and knowing that he's probably reading this to you, I'd bet that he already knows. I swear the man has superpowers! Anyways, the secret. I killed the Joker after Jason died. You had to resurrect him, because you didn't want that on my conscious. You should know that Jason is freaking out next to me and wondering why he never knew. Apparently, 'because I didn't want you to' is not a good answer._

 _Jason wants me to tell you that while he was doing his whole 'I'm a badass crime lord' thing, you guys sat on the hood of the Batmobile and ate sandwiches together. Damn, that's some secret B. I wish I had been there to see that._

 _Tim says that you caught him once stalking you with the camera and brought him home. When you found out that he was basically living by himself, you came as over Bruce Wayne the next day to ask if his son could babysit. He wants me to tell you that he never thanked you for that. I told him that he should just thank you when we get back._

 _Damian says that he doesn't have any special secrets with you. He did say though that his favorite memory of you is when you took him to the Gotham Zoo for the first time. He claims it was 'trivial' and 'pointless' but the smile on his little face says otherwise. And now he is trying to kill me. Apparently the word 'little' is an insult of the highest caliber._

 _On this piece of paper, I have written four secrets, one from each of us. They vary in seriousness, but all of them were kept close to our hearts. Believe me. Please, please, please believe me Bruce. We are alive. We are healthy. And we are going to tear this world apart to find our way back home._

 _I know that this next part will be the hardest part for you to hear, but I am going to have to insist that you listen to it carefully. Don't come looking for us. I know that you want to. Desperately. But the last thing that we need to worry about is you being lost in the multiverse. You have raised us all to be strong, capable, smart, fighters that can do anything that we put our minds to. Well let me tell you something. I have never been more determined than I am right now. We will find our way home, for now, just make sure that we have a home to return to. That means that you need to stay safe Bruce. No extra risks, especially because we aren't there to watch your back._

 _I don't know if we will be able to send another message to you, but no matter what, remember that we love you. More than you will ever know. You are our father, and nothing will ever change that._

 _Love always,_

 _Dick, Jay, Tim, and Damian._

 _P.S. Jay would like me to tell you that all the gushy stuff was all me, but he kinda agrees in a nonchalant and 'cool' way._

 _P.P.S. Tim thinks that I probably freaked you out, and that I should apologize. Sorry._

 _P.P.P.S. Damian would like me to remind you that despite what I said about him being little, and his outward appearance, he is not a child. The mere thought of him being a child is an insult. So here is me insulting him again. And here is me insulting him while thinking that he's quite frankly adorable._

 _P.P.P.P.S. Okay last one. I just wanted to say hi to Alfred, and remind the best butler in the known universe and multiverse that we love him. By the way, all the brothers agree on this one. No offense Bruce, but when it comes to Alfred being King, nobody complains. I should probably go now. Bye!_

Bruce looked up at Alfred, hope shining within his eyes for the first time in days. "They're alive Alfred. My boys are okay."

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 **A/N: Yay! Bruce now knows that his kids are A-okay! And Dick wants to see elephants, which is so like him I think! Anyways, I really want to know what you guys think! And they are going to Africa, three guesses what that mean...**

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 **On a different note, it is very hard to keep track of so many characters. And I'm only adding more. I must be crazy.**

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 **REVIEW! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS CHAPTER AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER!**


	69. Avengers Assemble (Part 6)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 6)**

Dick bit his lip slightly as he watched the hustle and bustle of the Avengers around him. They were trying to get ready for a journey to the other side of the world, which included informing King (king!) T'Challa of their plans. Dick had no idea whether or not he was supposed to bow to this guy or not, but he supposed that that was something that he could figure out later.

Instead, he allowed himself to feel amused as Peter tried to convince Tony to take him with them. So far Tony wasn't having it, and Dick doubted that Peter would be able to change his mind. Besides, his aunt would worry about him. Which reminded him of something that he needed to do. "Look, Peter. You need to go home to your Aunt, and if both you and 'Jackson' are gone at the same time it might rouse suspicions. We'll drop you off on our way to Feng Mian's to grab our stuff."

Tony's head jerked up abruptly. "Feng Mian? Who's Feng Mian? It doesn't matter. You're not going anywhere without us."

Dick didn't appreciate his tone, but decided that it wasn't worth it. They were helping them. At least theoretically they were. If they weren't, Dick was sure that they would be able to escape if need be but he didn't want it to come to that. The question was, whether or not he should hold his tongue. He did not want to turn this into some sort of macho alpha man pissing contest. "I hear what you are saying. We need to get our stuff and tell Feng Mian that we are moving so that she doesn't worry. I think that it would be better if Bruce came with us because people are less likely to recognize him, and we want to draw as little attention as possible."

"Fine. Banner go with them. Drop Underoos off on your way."

Peter opened his mouth to complain, and Dick watched in amusement as Tony waved a hand. "No protesting kid. You got school. I will not have you failing any classes because you want to play hero."

"But I want to help! I can help! Please!"

Tony rubbed a hand down his face. Dick totally knew that look. It was the same look that Bruce gave him when he was being particularly annoying. Tony was totally the kid's dad. Whether or not he realized it. "Fine. Fine. Today's Friday. If, and only if, by next Friday our visitors are still here, I'll send transport for you. Until then, you stay here. Say hello to your aunt for me."

Peter must have realized that he was not going to get a better deal because he hastily nodded his head. "Thank you Mr. Stark. I really appreciate it! Thank you! Thank you!"

Peter was out of the door before Tony could even respond. Dick shared a look with Tony and smirked. "Enjoying fatherhood?"

"Shut up."

Dick's smirk widened. "Sounds like something my father would say."

Tony turned to fully face him, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. "Really?"

"No, but he would glare and growl, which translates to the same thing really."

Dick left behind a laughing Tony as he dragged Jason and Damian out the door. Tim and Bruce Banner's excited chatter led the way to the elevators where Peter was waiting, and Dick briefly wondered if they were going to commandeer another car, or if they were going to use one of Tony's undoubtedly many cars.

When Bruce produced a pair of keys, he found his answer. Well on the bright side, they weren't going to steal another car. This day was only going to go up from here. Realizing what he had just thought, Dick really hoped that he hadn't just jinxed himself.

###

Bruce watched with interest as Nightwing walked into the small dumpling restaurant and immediately started to talk to the lady manning the counter in quick mandarin. He was amazed at the fluency and the impeccable accent. Bruce was tempted to say that the man had grown up speaking the language, but minutes ago, the guy had had a perfect New York accent as he spoke to Peter's aunt.

It made Bruce wonder just what kind of training these boys had had. If they were kind of like Nat. They said that they were brothers, that they wanted to return to their father, but what if it was some sort of Stockholm syndrome? Bruce didn't know that it was his place to say anything. He doubted that it would go over well.

Nightwing offered him a smile, and waved for Bruce to follow them. Bruce thought that that was a nice gesture. They could have left him downstairs, and insisted that he wait. When they got to the top of the stairs, Bruce squinted at the small room with a single window. There was only one bed, so even if they had doubled up, two had been on the ground.

Red Robin must have seen him looking around the room. "We were in a motel with two queen size beds, but your friends Nat and Clint showed up. This was the best place we could find on short notice."

Bruce winced. They hadn't exactly given the boys the most warm welcomes. He felt bad for them. Bruce was no stranger to living in fear due to something out of his control, but these kids had to be extraordinary to have gotten this far. To be able to function in such unknown conditions. To not only function but to find the means to resolve the issue. They were all so young, and one was literally a kid. He must have been around ten or something. It was amazing. And it was also terrifying.

Nightwing turned and grinned at him. "We're done. I'm glad I brought you up here though. We took so long that you probably would have assumed that we had jumped out of the window or something."

Bruce hadn't even thought that that was a possibility. He supposed that they had show that anything was possible. He was glad that they hadn't jumped out of the window while he was downstairs and blissfully unaware. Tony would have been upset. "I'm glad that you didn't jump out of the window and leave me to explain to the Avengers."

Nightwing let out a startled laugh, and his brothers let out a small smile. Something told Bruce, that Nightwing was alway quick to smile. Bruce just hoped that it was a real smile. "Now Bruce, I just realized that I only have one spare shirt. I hope that you don't mind taking us the store real quick."

Bruce just shrugged. What else was he supposed to say? Besides, he could probably use one or two more shirts, he kept accidently ripping his.

###

Jason groaned as Dick shoved another shirt into his arms. His brother was literally running around the store and grabbing shirts in all of their sizes because he claimed that his brothers could not be trusted to grab things that were appropriate in size, appearance, and number. Jason thought that was probably true, but then again, Dick's fashion sense tended to suck, so he was probably screwed.

Glancing down at his bundle, Jason frowned as he pulled out a crumpled blue shirt with a red and white shield on it. "Hey Replacement? What does this shirt remind you of?"

Tim looked up from his phone for a moment, and Dick paused his manic racing. "Superman I guess. Why?"

"On a scale of one to Joker killing another Robin, how mad do you think that the Old Man would be if he saw me wearing this shirt?"

Tim looked at the shirt more intensely, and even Damian took a moment to look at it, though the brat pretended that he didn't. "First of all, stop with the dead Robin jokes. They are not, and never will be, funny. Second, I think that B would probably be a 'Clark is forcing me to socialize again.'"

Damian scoffed at the reference before haughty lifting his chin. "I doubt that Father would be that mad."

Tim rolled his eyes but amended his earlier comment. "Well he could be a 'Nightwing just broke another chandelier' if you caught him in a good mood."

In the distance, Jason could hear Dick yell out in protest. He had no grounds to do so, a fact that Jason reminded him of the second that the man thrust a pair of shorts in his arms.

Next to him, Bruce bit his lip before asking, "How many times have you broken the chandelier?"

Dick looked at him with a slightly confused look on his face that Jason knew to be completely fake. "This month, or this year? I've lost count of the total number of chandeliers."

Bruce didn't have an answer to that, so Jason took pity on him, and leaned over to stage whisper, "The Old Man learned his lesson about taking in circus brats."

"Shut up street rat. He learned his lesson after you too. He learned his lesson after each of us, so don't act so high and mighty. In fact, I'm still surprised he took each of us."

Jason didn't respond. He wasn't about to air all of their dirty laundry in front of a virtual stranger. Hell, he hated airing their dirty laundry in front of people that they did know and trust, like Clark. Under duress he might admit that he was like Bruce in that way, he did not want to share anything personal with anyone that he didn't absolutely positively trust. The streets had taught him that personal details could be used against you. Could be used as a weapon. He never wanted to be that vulnerable again.

An hour later, they were at the checkout, and Jason was as ready as he could be to travel to Africa. To the continent where everything in his life changed. To the continent where the person he was today was born.

###

Tony worked his jaw as he watched Fury pace the room. Fury had questioned the damage, but Tony had explained that it was an equipment malfunction. The man seemed to believe him, or at least not care enough to continue that line of questioning.

"Least week, there was an unknown energy blast in downtown Manhattan. Our techs were able to isolate an image of four figures appearing out of the blast. We do not know who they are, only that they are dangerous and need to be stopped and questioned by any means necessary."

Tony frowned. "And if they aren't dangerous? If they pose no threat?"

"Not possible. Not after the Battle of New York. Or do you have something to share Stark?"

Tony held up his hands in surrender. "Nope. My genius brain has nothing to add to this discussion."

Tony didn't need to hear Fury's muttered, 'for once' to know that he said it. He was just glad that the boys were gone right now. And that Peter was gone. The boy just didn't know how to keep a secret. It was amazing that his Aunt May still didn't know that he was Spiderman.

And because the universe just loved to prove them wrong, the boys and Banner walked in. Fury immediately turned to face them, and demanded to know who they were. Nightwing must have seen his panicked look, because with a grand bow, he adopted a thick slavic accent. "I am Ivan." He pointed at Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin, respectively as he continued. "This is my cousin Yaroslav, my sister's son Oleksander, and my son Dmytro. We are circus. I come to say hello to my friend Clint."

"Why's Banner with you and not Barton?"

Nightwing's, or rather, Ivan's smile never flickered. "Big surprise. Tony sent Bruce to pick us up."

Fury barely took the time to absorbed that answer before he fired off his next question. "If your whole family knew Barton, why did your sister not come?"

Nightwing leaned in and stage whispered, "My sister hate Clint. She and him used to, how do you say, do the birds and bees. I always ask my sister, Ulyana, is Oleksander son with Clint? She never answer me! She just cry and cry when I ask."

Fury did not look nearly as amused by the story as the rest of the Avengers. The rest of the boys looked faintly amused, but mostly just smiled blankly, as if they could not follow all of the English. "You said you were circus? What are your acts?"

'Ivan' perked up. "I am acrobat! Yaroslav is knife thrower, Oleksander is on tight rope, and Dmytro is training with animals. He likes lions best."

"Demonstration. Now."

'Ivan' did not look perturbed by the demanding tone. In fact, he just put his hands on his lower back and bent backwards into a ninety degree angle. Stretching his arms into a display that was clearly inhuman, he said, "Yaroslav, lift!"

The man clearly knew what that meant, because walked forward a few paces before nodding his head and crouched down. 'Ivan' ran forward and used his 'cousin's' back as a springboard. In the air, he twisted his body in a complicated twist before flipping three and a half times, landing on his hands and rolling forward in a series of handsprings. Tony was definitely impressed.

Ivan took a bow before brushing off his hands. "You like? Yaroslav can throw knives at volunteer's face. Oleksander and Dmytro cannot demonstrate here. No lions. No rope."

Fury's face did not change, but he did not ask another question. 'Ivan' took that as his clue and walked over to Clint and hugged him. His brothers followed behind him and repeated the gesture, though 'Dmytro' looked less than enthused to be doing so.

Tony couldn't believe that they had pulled one over Fury. Meanwhile, the man was looking at their bags. "Those clothes are all new. If you were real circus, they would be old and patched."

"We save so that we could buy new ones."

"And the brand new laptops in your bags?"

"You look through our bags?"  
Fury looked just the tiniest bit smug as nodded. "Answer the damn question! Or don't. I already know that you are the people that came from the blast. Now, you are going to come with me and tell who exactly you are and why you are here."

The smile remained frozen on Nightwing's face, but Tony could see a hint of panic on his face. Red Hood did not freeze, instead taking action. He drew a hunting knife and tackled the man to the floor, knocked him out, and used the knife to pin him there. Using the same thick slavic accent that Nightwing had used, Red Hood yelled, "Let's get out of here!"

Tony yelled for JARVIS to shut down any communication devices, and then ran down a secret back staircase, leading a thundering of footsteps behind him. It could have been minutes, or perhaps hours, later when they arrived at the hangar. Jumping into his newest plane, with the stealth technology that he had collaborated on with Shuri, he waited until everybody was in before starting the engine. "Lady and Gentlemen, we are about to start on a long flight to Wakanda, where hopefully, the King will provide us with protection from the very angry leader of S.H.I.E.l.D. Please fasten your seatbelts because turbulence is way more dangerous than the aliens, robots, titans, etcetera, etcetera."

Tony was rewarded with a few weak chuckles as Tony sped down the short runway and into the awaiting dusk sky. They may be on the run from the government, but that was okay. He was doing the right thing. The boys were innocent in all of this, despite what Fury believed. They needed an ally right now, and Tony would be that for them.

###

Tim watched as Dick slowly ran a hand through Damian's hair as the boy slept. Tim couldn't blame him, it had been an absolutely exhausting day, with one battle, and a confrontation that could have easily resulted in another battle. Even though he pretended that he wasn't, Damian was still a little kid. He was ten years old going on forty. Though, if Dick had anything to say about it, he would stay a kid for a little bit longer.

Turning to face Tony, the man had joined him after engaging the autopilot, Tim said, "So, what's the deal with Wakanda? And is there coffee on this plane?"

A robot arm came out of the wall and poured him a beautiful steaming cup of coffee. Tim inhaled the aromatic smell and let out a content sigh, ignoring the dirty looks that both Jason and Dick sent him. They were just jealous that he loved coffee more than he loved them.

"Wakanda has the strongest metal on this Earth, vibranium. They are also the most technologically advanced place in the world. I'm hoping that they will be able to help us get you boys home."

Tim nodded, his thoughts already drifting. He couldn't remember there being a 'Wakanda' on the map, but there was no Gotham on this Earth, so he supposed that that meant that his Earth might not have a Wakanda, despite how awesome the place sounded.

Dick gave him a small smile, probably knowing that he was thinking about all the technology that he would see. About this 'vibranium'. Damian let out a small groan, and shifted closer to Dick. Dick smiled down faintly, and continued stroking the boy's hair.

It was Thor who broke the silence. "You told us that you were brothers, but you told Fury that you were not. Which version is true?"

Jason rolled his eyes but answered despite his obvious annoyance. "We're brothers. As much as it pains me to admit it."

"Why lie then?" Tim turned to face Steve surprised that he had even spoken.

"It's just one small way to hide who we are. Just like Hood using the Ukrainian accent even after Fury was knocked unconscious. I'm fairly certain that we don't exist on this version of Earth, but if you ever come to our Earth, you cannot know our identities."

Nat spoke up next. "Oh? Why not?"

Dick let out a loud sigh. "Our identities are considered one of the most well kept secrets in the world for a reason. Most heroes do not know who we are, not even those I trust and are my friends."

"Sounds lonely." Tim knew that none of them looked up at Steve as they silently agreed. It could be lonely sometimes, but he had the Justice League. He had the Teen Titans. And most importantly, he had his family.

###

Damian stared at Todd as his second oldest brother stared out the plane window. He hadn't moved in more than ten minutes, and his expression was completely blank. Damian pulled on Grayson's sleeve gently to wake him up. Grayson blinked sleepily at him and let out a small smile. It diminished the second that he saw Todd.

Damian tried to quell his jealousy as Grayson got up to sit next to Todd instead. He reminded himself that Grayson had not moved because he loved Damian any less, but rather because Todd needed him at the moment.

Damian really began to worry when Todd made no movement indicating that he noticed Grayson's arrival. Damian wondered what he was seeing out the window, if he was seeing anything at all. Grayson laid a gentle hand on Todd's shoulder and he flinched violently.

Damian shared a nervous look with Drake, not that he would ever admit it. It was Stark who asked the question that nobody was willing to ask. "What's going on through your head right now, kid?"

Todd blinked, as if he was just waking up. His voice sounded distant as he said, "We're flying over Ethiopia. It brings back memories."

Grayson started to curse more than Damian had ever heard him curse before. "You okay, Hood?"

Todd looked lost as he glanced at his panicking older brother. "Yes. No. I don't know."

"Mind if I ask what happened in Ethiopia?" Damian turned to face Rogers, wondering why he felt the need to ask about what was obviously a sensitive topic.

"I died."

Stark let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine. Don't tell us."

Drake faced him with a look on his face that Damian could not interpret. Damian supposed that out of all of them, Drake was the one that had seen the aftermath of Todd's death the closest. "He's not joking. He really did die."

"And I'm alive now, so can we please stop talking about it?"

Grayson once again placed a gentle hand on Todd's shoulder. This time, Todd allowed it. Grayson did not try to hug him though, probably knowing that it would not be appreciated. Damian turned to Drake, and saw the strained smile on his face, and for once he was glad that he was the youngest, the last of the children his father had taken in. He had missed a lot of pain and suffering. Missed one of his older brothers dying and coming back not quite right in the head.

He knew that the so called Avengers were probably wondering what kind of Earth has children fighting never ending battles against evil. What kind of Earth has children that die and come back to life. And what kind of man his father was to allow his children to fight against the insurmountable odds. Damian's answer, the only acceptable answer, was that his father was the best man that he knew.

The rest of the flight to Wakanda was spent in tense silence. Damian hoped that the Wakandans could help them go home. And he hoped that his father was waiting for them. Perhaps, if Damian was in a good mood, he would allow his father to hug him. Not because Damian wanted the physical contact, but because his father probably would. He certainly never liked hugs, despite what Grayson would claim.

###

Peter shifted awkwardly as Director Fury stared him down. The man was scary. He was probably trying to intimidate him, so Peter resolved that he was not going to give in to the could withstand Aunt May's best glare, so he could handle this. Probably. Maybe. Not at all.

"Director Fury, I'd love to help you with whatever you're here for, but I don't know what you want."

Fury sat back further in his seat, and just continued to glare. Peter shifted further in his seat, knowing that it was glaringly obvious that he was uncomfortable. "Parker. I want to know where Stark took the four very dangerous individuals that came out of an energy blast. I'm talking about preventing another Battle of New York."

"Oh, I don't think they're like that. I mean they kinda kidnapped me momentarily, but they let me go, and Aunt May seems to think that the one that she met is really really nice and smart." Peter realized what he said and covered his mouth with a small squeak, Tony was going to kill him! He was never going to allow him to go to Wakanda now!

"Oh? And where did Stark take them?"

Peter's mind raced, and his voice raised in pitch as he said, "I don't know! Mr. Stark didn't tell me anything! He said that I'm untrustworthy, that I can't keep a secret!"

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose. "You, are the worst liar I have ever met, and I have met a lot of liars in my time Parker."

"Okay. So maybe Mr. Stark didn't call me untrustworthy. But he was definitely thinking it! And I'm not usually this bad of a liar, it's just that you make me super nervous and Tony says I have issues. Well, maybe he didn't say that in so many words, but he hinted at it!"

Fury sighed, and sounded extremely exasperated. Peter hoped that that meant he was done questioning him. "Parker. I'll talk to you when you're capable of stringing together more than a few words. I will be watching you. Know, that I will know if you contact Stark in any way. Don't do anything stupid."

Peter watched as Fury stalked out of his room, suddenly glad that he had exchanged phone numbers with Red Robin on his way home. It was going to be a long week. He just hoped that he wouldn't give away where the Avengers were currently located.

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 **A/N: This chapter is once again slightly shorter, but I feel like it was an important transitional chapter. I also included a brief appearance by Nick Fury...he'll probably appear again later. My favorite part was the ending. Though I'm glad that I included the Ethiopia reference** **(I was reminded of where Jason died (thanks _rpglady76_ ))** **. What was your favorite part?**

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 **REVIEW for a virtual hug! I want to know what you think!**


	70. Avengers Assemble (Part 7)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 7)**

The second the plane landed, Jason pushed past all of the Avengers waiting by the door, opened said door, and rushed down the stairs. He barely made it a few steps to the side before he was on his knees throwing up. He hated throwing up. It tasted gross, and left his whole body shuddering.

When he finally stopped, he wiped at his mouth with the bottom of his t-shirt. Looking up, he saw Dick standing in front of him, chin tilted up in defiance, arms spread wide protecting him from a bunch of angry women with spears. Tim and Damian were standing behind him, crouched low in defensive positions. All the negative thoughts he had had about them suddenly vanished. They really did care. They might have temporarily forgotten his problems with Ethiopia, but given the circumstances, Jason could understand why.

A man walked up to him and Jason watched as the women almost grudgingly stood at ease, spear tips aimed at the sky. The man smiled, and Jason really wanted to rip it off his face, stomp on it a few times, spit on it, and then shove it up his ass. Then again, he was having a bad day, so he probably shouldn't act on any of his urges.

"Not a fan of flying?"

Jason sneared, and decided not to say all the really rude comments that were running through his head. This guy was probably the King, hence the warrior women actually listening to him. He was a guest in this country, and he and his brothers needed this dude's help. It would be best not to offend the man. "Not a fan of Ethiopia. Or places that look like Ethiopia. This place doesn't look like Ethiopia, so I think we're good. Oh, unless you're hiding a psychopathic clown with green hair and a penchant for murdering people for kicks and giggles."

Jason never said that he would ease up on the sarcasm. His asshole older brother held out a hand for the King to shake. Apparently, he had decided against bowing at some point during the long ass plane ride. "Please excuse my younger brother. He really does have a valid reason for hating clowns and Ethiopia. In fact, he's acting surprisingly sane considering what's probably running through his head right now."

"Fuck you Dickface. I happen to know that you have quite a few issues with a certain man who wears orange and black and happens to have one eye. Not to mention your issues with—"

"That's enough Hood. We all know that you currently feel like crap. That your going to feel like crap until we go home, and even then you'll feel like crap for a long time. We also know, that your going to take it out on us. That's okay, we can handle it. Just don't spill our secrets and then expect us to keep yours. And for everybody's sake, don't ruin our chances of getting home."

Jason looked at Tim, surprised that he had said anything at all. The Replacement tended not to reveal what he was thinking unless he found it absolutely necessary, which most of the time, it wasn't. He took a deep breath, let it out. Felt his body deflate. Took another breath. Closed his eyes. Opened them again. The anger was still boiling within him. He needed to let it out. "I need punch something. Preferably, something that punches back."

"I believe that we can arrange that. My name is King T'Challa. I wish to extend a warm welcome to our guests from another Earth to Wakanda. Okoye will show you to a place where you can train."

Jason turned to face his brothers, his frown clearly displaying that he didn't think separating would be a good idea. It was Damian who broke the silent stalemate. "Red Robin and I shall go to the lab. Nightwing, while you have many talents, one of them is not your intelligence. It would be for the best if you went with Hood and allowed him to take his aggression out on you."

Jason watched amused as Dick made an exaggerated offended face, as if he hadn't heard it all before. "First off, I may not be quite as book smart as you and Red Robin, and not quite as street smart as Hood, but I'm way more people smart than all of you combined. Second, are you sure you want to split up?"

Tim rolled his eyes, used to Dick's mother henning. "We'll be fine. You guys go punch each other in the face repeatedly. Maybe then, you won't be known as the pretty one, and we can finally get a break from all the flirting."

Jason laughed as Dick flipped them all off. Together, they walked towards the woman that they assumed was Okoye, with Steve and Thor following closely. Jason supposed that they probably didn't understand the whole science thing. He totally got that. He only understood the making things go boom part of science.

He almost crashed into Dick, when the asshole stopped suddenly and turned to face Tim. "Little Wing might try to smash my face in, but he's been trying to do that since I met him. And for the record, everybody tries to smash my face in at some point, whether it be because they actually want to, or because they're under mind control. It doesn't matter though. Either way, the Justice League still voted that I have the 'Best Ass' when they did that weird class vote thing that Superman insisted on. In fact, I get voted 'Best Ass' every year. And considering the fact that the heroes can't see my face, and I still get flirted with and laid, I don't think that damaging my face will do anything."

Jason was almost impressed as Dick turned around and walked away, a slight swagger in his step. Tim, meanwhile, was completely gobsmacked. As were pretty much all the Avengers. Damian had a disgusted look on his face, which was pretty much expected. Shaking his head slightly, Jason interlaced his fingers behind his head and followed behind his brother.

Nobody would guess by looking at him that his blood was boiling and the rage was threatening to consume him. Nobody would be able to tell that he was desperately trying to get a handle on his emotions. Nobody could tell.

Dick turned around, as if hearing his thoughts, and reached an arm out to him. Jason hesitated, but moved closer, and Dick swung an arm over his shoulder, despite the fact that Jason had a few inches on him and it had to be an awkward angle. Pulling Jason closer to him, he murmured, "It'll be okay. I know that you're reliving everything right now. That you're probably feeling angrier than you have in a long time, but I promise you, everything will be okay."

Jason knew that his voice sounded small when he finally replied, and he fucking hated that. "You can't know that, let alone promise it."

Dick smiled at him, as if he was about to tell him a secret. "Don't you know by now Little Wing, I'm the guy they call when they need to do the impossible. I'll make it happen. You'll see. Even if I have to let you beat my face in."

"Let me? I think you're overestimating your abilities there."

Dick let out a small laugh, and pulled Jason even closer. Jason wasn't sure how they could be so physically close to one another and still walking at a normal pace, but decided it was best not to ask. It was probably one of Dick's weird circus tricks.

"I'm the OG, nobody can beat me!"

Jason let out an exaggerated sigh, pretending to be annoyed when in reality he was fighting the urge to smile. If anybody could get his mind off of the events that occured in Ethiopia, it was Dick. He was Jason's impromptu therapist for a reason. A reason other than the fact he took his payment in the form of ice cream.

"If I agree with you, will you never say OG again?"

"Deal!" Dick's grin was blinding, and it seemed to stop the metaphorical thunderstorm in Jason's brain. Maybe, just maybe, punching the crap out of Dick would actually solve his problems.

###

Dick panted slightly as he dodged another potentially lethal strike to the throat. Jason was definitely working out all of his aggressions. Next to them, Thor and Steve were watching them with slight interest as they worked on the punching bags. Dick figured it was probably for the best that Jason didn't spar against one of them when it was likely that he might still try to kill one of them.

It was the move to less lethal punches that informed Dick that Jason was ready to talk. Or at least ready for him to play therapist and guide Jason through what he was feeling. He started with a simple statement. "You died."

Jason swept his feet out from under him, and Dick did a backwards somersault back onto his feet before Jason could land a kick to his ribs. "I did."

"Say it."

Jason let out a loud growl but Dick didn't let it deter him. This was Jason's way of processing things, not his. Jason knew that he preferred ice cream and cheesy movies as a coping mechanism. Unlike Jason and Bruce who preferred to punch whatever was bothering them out of their system. "I fucking died. You happy now?"

"Always. You died. You came back. You dealt with the resulting trauma, and you came out victorious. Why is this bothering you now?"

"You fucking know that dealing with trauma isn't something that you suddenly get over. You move on, but sometimes you just have days where you are sucked back in. You fucking know that with your dumb psych classes."

Dick roundhouse kicked Jason in the ribs, knocking him off of his feet, and onto the mats. "I know that. But I also know that we tend to deal with things and then lock it in an impenetrable box so that it never bothers us again. You don't even get this worked up on the anniversary of the day that you dug your way out of your coffin. Or the anniversary of your death. So why now?"

Wiping a trickle of blood from his nose, Jason stayed down on the mats, refusing to look at his brother as he said, "Do I have to have a reason?"

"You always do."

Dick bit his lip, and offered his hand down to Jason. That could go one of two ways. Jason would except it, and allow Dick's help in working through his crap. Or he would bat it away, and the therapy session would be done for now. Jason took his hand, and Dick wanted to do a happy dance. He resisted for obvious reasons.

Jason moved back a few places and danced on the balls of his feet. He checked to see that the wrappings on his hands were still okay, clearly thinking about what Dick said. "This is the first time I've been back to this side of the world. I just always thought that I would come back when I was ready, and it sucks ass because I'm not, and I can't do anything about it. Everything just keeps playing over and over and I can't make it stop."

Dick nodded as he dodged Jason's fist. Apparently, his brother was once again in the mood to punch things. Dick couldn't blame him, he would be too if he was in his brother's position. For now, the best thing that he could do was allow Jason to punch at him to his heart's content. Of course, that didn't meant hat Dick wouldn't punch back.

"Go over it again with me. Say it out loud."

"No."

"You were the one who told me that voicing your demons made them seem less scary. Stop being a damn coward, Jason. Voice them and move on. That's what we do, remember?"

Jason punched him in the jaw, and Dick had to do a backhandspring to stay upright. When he was back on his feet, he spat blood onto the mat and tenderly massaged his throbbing cheek. He probably deserved that one. Jason might respond best to tough love, but that didn't make it any less tough.

"I went to Ethiopia to meet my birth mother. She was a foreign aid worker working there and embezzling money. She was blackmailed by Joker and handed me over to him. She smoked a cigarette while the jackass beat me nearly to death with a crowbar. He left us in the warehouse with a bomb on a time delay. We tried to escape, but couldn't. I tried to protect her from the blast. The last thing I felt before I woke up in my own coffin was the heat."

Dick took a deep breath and hoped that he was able to keep the wobble out of his voice. "And how does that make you feel?"

The look on Jason's face suggested that he wasn't nearly as successful as he was hoping. "Like crap. Like I was betrayed by someone I was supposed to trust. Like the whole continent of Africa is trying to kill me."

Dick nodded. He was expecting that. Standing up straight, Dick clapped a hand on Jason's shoulder. "Go beat up the punching bag for a while. As long as I'm watching your back, your safe. And for the record, I'll always watch your back Little Wing. Once you get all the pent up emotion out of your system, we'll go and see something amazing."

Jason quirked an eyebrow, but didn't bother asking. Dick had this little secretive smile on his face that meant that he was going to be a complete asshole and not tell Jason anything. Glancing at their audience, who were obviously trying to look like they weren't listening, Jason pointed at the walking American Flag. "You're up Super Soldier. How's your hand to hand combat looking?"

###

Tim walked around the lab in a daze. He needed to remodel his R&D lab after this whole mess. Bruce would probably approve of the expenses, if not, he could always hide the expenses by syphoning the money through backchannels and stock accounts. It would take more effort on his part, but it was definitely doable.

King T'Challa was watching them curiously, his Dora Milaje all standing tall and surrounding the room. Tim didn't like that very much. It would make any attempt at an escape very hard, if not near impossible. They may have accomplished the impossible on a near daily basis, but that didn't mean Tim liked tempting fate.

The woman that had led Dick and Jason away had returned minutes ago, so Tim could only assume that his brothers were in some gym punching each other. Well Jason was probably doing the punching while Dick tried to fix his emotional and psychological trauma. Tim was glad that he didn't have to deal with that mess. He just had to deal with his very entitled brother acting like he owned the place. In front of the King. Who actually owned the place.

It was the woman who had been in the lab who broke the silence. "Brother!" Okay, so the King's sister. Interesting. "Are these the outsiders you were telling me about?"

Tim didn't like the way her face lit up and she scurried around them recording everything. He should probably say something before Damian did. "Get that camera out of my face, harlot!" Too late.

She just stood up straight and let out a little laugh. "This one has a temper, Brother. I thought you said there were four?"

That probably wasn't the right thing to say to Damian. Tim covered his mouth before he said anything that could get them in trouble. "Shuri, perhaps you can display less enthusiasm. Our guests have had a long journey. Okoye showed the elder brothers to the gym. One of them has a problem with the entire country of Ethiopia. And clowns."

"Westerners. They are so strange."

Tim felt the anger rising in him. He was tired. He was cranky. He hadn't had a good cup of coffee in hours. And this woman just insulted Jason. Unknowingly, but still. He was not going to say anything. "Don't talk about Hood's issues like they are trivial!" And he said something.

Tony came up behind him. "Kid's right. Apparently he 'died' in Ethiopia."

"Stop saying died in quotation marks! He actually died. His mother was a foreign aid worker in Ethiopia. He went to see her. She sold him out to a man that goes by the name Joker. Guess what! He's dresses himself up like a clown. His title is literally the Clown Prince of Gotham. So Joker beats him nearly to death with a crowbar while the bitch watches. Then, he locks them in the warehouse with a bomb. Hood used his body as a shield to protect her. She lived just long enough to tell our mentor. Fast forward and he's digging himself out of his own grave and is slightly more than a little unstable. Not that any of us can blame him."

The room was dead silent. Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. Tim shook his head. "I shouldn't have said that. In fact, we shouldn't be discussing this at all. It won't help us get us home."

"I just want to know how it's possible."

Tim gave Tony a sharp look. The guy just didn't know when to drop it. Damian bit his hand hard, and Tim ripped it away with a curse. He hadn't even realized that he still had his hand on the kid's mouth. "Stark. There are just things some things that should not be known, let alone messed with. Drop it."

"No. This could be revolutionary!"

Tim shook his head. "No it's not. Multiple geniuses, myself include as well as an immortal, have looked at this. It's not a viable option for anything. If anything, it just make things worse. Don't look into it. There are just some things whose power should never be harnessed. So please drop it."

An elbow in the gut prevented Tony from commenting further. Tim knew that his face mirrored Damian's glacial expression. Surveying the room, Tim felt like he was suffocating. His test felt tight, and he shook his head trying to dispel any lingering thoughts about Jason. "Can we move on to why we're actually here? I don't mean to be rude, but King T'Challa, our presence will be missed in our world. Not to mention all of the school work I'll have to make up. So, Princess Shuri, have you thought about causing the vibranium molecules to vibrate at a speed that would temporarily cause a worm hole into our world?"

Upon seeing the stunned looks, Tim shrugged. "What? We flew eighteen hours. I had time to read up on vibranium. Let's get to work people!"

Banner shook his head and let out a startled laugh. Tim let out a small smile as the pressure in his chest released somewhat. Shuri bustled around him as she explained why his idea wouldn't work. On the bright side, it seemed to give her an idea, so he'd take it.

###

Dick was sitting on the floor watching as Jason fought against Clint. The archer had walked in along with Nat. Apparently, they were not useful in the land of nerds, so they had returned to the land of brutes who beat each other up for fun, otherwise known as the gym.

Next to him, sat Thor, Steve and Nat. All but Nat had served as Jason's punching bag at one point, and Dick was just waiting for his younger brother to tire himself out enough to want to leave the gym. He had a surprise for his brother. Or rather, he had talked to the extremely scary looking spear lady about a little trip, and she had agreed to ask the King, who had in turn said yes. So technically, the King had a surprise for Jason, but it was his genius idea, so he was going to take the credit.

"You did not seem that surprised that you were considered worthy. Why is that?"

Dick turned to face Thor, surprised that the man spoke, let alone brought that up again. Nevertheless, it took awhile for him to formulate a response. "Look, at the time, I didn't have time to process anything, let alone a mythical hammer deciding worthiness."

Nat turned to face him, an unreadable look on her face. "And now?"

Dick cursed. Of course she managed to catch that. And of course she just had to bring it to everybody's attention. Dick changed his mind, he no longer wished to flirt with her. He spoke slowly, not wanting to misspeak or give the wrong impression. "On my Earth, my mentor is known as being a great hero. Someone who fights a never ending battle against evil despite the odds being highly stacked in his opponents favor. He is also known to be secretive, prideful, paranoid, and a manipulative son of a bitch. He might fight for justice, and he might be a founding member of the biggest superhero team, but nobody trusts him. Nobody but us at least. I'm not the same. _We're_ not the same. There are two heroes in our whole world that every crime fighter knows they can trust. Superman, and me."

"So when Red Robin was saying that you're known for giving awe-inspiring speeches, he wasn't kidding."

Dick flashed a quick smile at Steve, glad that he had made light of the situation. "I grew up fighting crime. The Boss didn't want me to, but I didn't give him a choice. A lot of people have watched me grow up. They know what I can do, and they also know that I always deliver on my promises."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Dick sighed, completely exhausted by this conversation. He didn't care about some stupid hammer, and he didn't see why Thor did either. It wasn't like he was going to steal the hammer and take over Asgard or whatever. "I mentioned Superman, right? He's got like all the cool powers and stuff. Everybody likes him. Real Boy Scout. Anyways, he once did a little multiverse traveling, just in the neighboring Earths. Not like us, where we're so far from our own that we don't even exist. Anyways, when he came back, he told me that no matter where he went, I was always the same. That I was a multiverse constant. That really doesn't answer your question. I just don't know what you want me to say. The answer is that I don't know why I'm worthy. I just know that I'm glad that I am"

"Oh?"

"My worthiness ended the fight, didn't it?"

Dick quirked a smile and turned to watch as Jason seemed to finally lose his motivation to fight. It was about time. The dude had literally been fighting for hours. Dick wouldn't be that surprised if Jason fell over dead asleep. Apparently, he was still pretty pumped because he pulled Dick up before proceeding to give him a sweaty one-armed hug. Dick shoved him off. "Go take a shower. You smell worse than you did after you had it out with Killer Croc in the Gotham sewers."

Jason lifted his arm and shoved his armpit in Dick's face. As he shoved the stinky armpit out of his face, Dick smiled. Jason was obviously feeling better. It was a good thing. He was just wished that his nose didn't have to suffer for it.

Laughing, Dick repeated, "Take a shower, Dipstick."

He continued to smile as he watched his brother saunter into the showers. He was better. He wasn't healed, he never would be. Not really. However, he was back to his normal sarcastic asshole self, so he was better than Dick expected him to be without copious amounts of cheap alcohol and a few thugs to put in the hospital. It was a good thing. He just wished that he could get rid of the worry curdling in his stomach.

###

It was until three days later that Tim found himself being dragged out of the lab and into a field. He had no idea what was happening, but Shuri seemed excited and so did Dick. Warning bells went off in his head. Dick being excited about anything was a bad sign. Dick got excited over things like rooftop tag, juggling chainsaws, and running across hot coals.

He figured out what Dick's master plan was the second the first elephant appeared. Dick ran up to it, cheering. Tim heard the small gasp from Shuri, and wanted to reassure her, but Dick got to the elephant before he could say anything. He just stopped in front of it. Tim could hear him talking to the elephant, his body completely still for the first time that Tim could remember. The elephant moved first. It picked Dick up using its trunk, and held him for a moment before settling him on its back. Tim had to give it credit to his brother. He really was the elephant whisperer.

Dick waved at them gleefully before whispering to the elephant. The elephant moved forward, the herd following closely behind it. Tim watched as both Damian and Jason walked forward in a pace that suggested that they were super excited, but wanted to hide it. Tim didn't join them. He just watched.

They hadn't figured out how to send them home yet. They hadn't even had a major breakthrough. He didn't deserve an elephant break. He didn't deserve to be out of the lab. Which was probably why Dick had scheduled the elephant break for today. He hadn't been out of the lab since they arrived, had had more coffee than ever before.

Apparently, Dick didn't like Tim's nonparticipation. He whispered to his elephant and it grabbed him, lifting him up and swinging him playfully. Tim just hung there limply, a small smile dancing across his lips. Okay, he could admit that this was kinda fun.

A laugh bubbled out of him, escaping despite his best efforts. It was a joyous sound. One that surprised him. It was full of freedom and childlike joy. Jeez. He was out of the lab for half an hour and he was turning into a sap. It was good though. All four of them were laughing, Shuri was dancing, King T'Challa looked amused, the Avengers were laughing, he should feel like something was finally going their way. There was just the dark suspicion lurking in the back of his mind. The one that reminded him that as nothing in his life had ever come easy, going home wouldn't either.

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 **A/N: So? How did you like the chapter? I personally liked that Dick played therapist and that Jason pays him with ice cream.**

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 **I have a new story up, so check it out! I'm super excited about it. Shoutout to Xiaohou who not only gave me the idea, but also has acted as my sounding board for this new story. Not to mention putting up with a lot of stupid questions and ideas as I tried to figure out where I was trying to go with this. Below, I have copied and pasted the summary for your viewing pleasure.**

Bludhaven officer, Dick Grayson knew that he could always count on his family no matter what. It was just kind of hard to depend on them when they and everybody else in the world had no clue who he or his alter ego was. Putting together the fractured pieces of his life would have been a lot easier if he hadn't been transferred to Gotham P.D.

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 **REVIEW FOR VIRTUAL COOKIES!**


	71. Avengers Assemble (Part 8)

**Avengers Assemble (Part 8)**

Peter was siked. So siked. He was in Wakanda. Wakanda! The place where Wakanda Forever originated from! The it place of science and technology. The place where memes had meaning. The kind of place that nerds dreamt of! Ned would flip if he had been allowed to bring him! And he was acting like a giant dork. He really needed to learn how to calm his inner monologue.

Stepping off the plane, he was greeted by multiple Dora Milaje warriors. This was awesome. They were awesome. He would tell them just how awesome they were if they didn't look like they were waiting for an excuse to run him through their spears.

They didn't speak to him as they led him into the building and into a lab. This was the best day of his life. To make things even better, Tony and the Avengers were there, as well as the four brothers. And then there was King T'Challa. Just standing there looking at something on a screen.

Everybody looked up at him, all acutely aware that there was another presence in the room. Peter felt like he was supposed to say something. "King T'Challa. Big fan. I'm Spiderman. I think I told the Captain that one once. But we were about to fight. You guys were on opposite sides. Are you guys friends now, or are you simply ignoring what happened? I mean it's totally cool if—"

"Kid. Shut up."

Peter gave Tony a thankful look. He needed that. Before he said something truly embarrassing. Well, more embarrassing.

Red Robin made his way over to him, a small smile playing on his lips. Peter had so many questions for him. Like if they had made progress on creating a portal to their Earth. Since they were still here, Peter was guessing that the answer was no.

Red Robin started to talk to him quietly about the options they had explored, and something about elephants. Peter was interested, he really was. He was just slightly distracted by the fond look on Nightwing's face. Even Red Hood looked slightly fond as he watched them. Something soft on his otherwise hard face.

The hairs on his arms rose, and Peter had a sinking feeling. Turning around, Peter watched in horror as Nick Fury walked in the door, the Dora Milaje and his own guards surrounding him. Damn. Peter knew he should have told Tony about that encounter. He had just worried that the man wouldn't permit him to come to Wakanda if he had known. Well, more like he had known that Tony would have forbidden him to come and chose to omit the fact so that he could tell Ned that he had been to Wakanda. Looking back, it wasn't his smartest choice.

"King T'Challa. I apologize for the unannounced visit. However, I must insist that you hand over the boys. They are an unknown threat."

Peter found himself turning to look at the brothers, perhaps waiting for them to refute the statement. None of them said anything, instead, they were all looking down at the youngest who looked green in the face.

Seconds later, he hunched over and threw up. Peter scrunched up his nose, trying to keep himself from sympathy puking.

The boy stumbled a few steps forward towards Nightwing. "Grayson. I don't feel so well." And then the boy was on the ground seizing.

"He's faking it."

Peter looked at Fury, shocked that the man would even suggest that. Meanwhile, Nightwing was attempting to brace the boy's head and yelling for lorazepam. "Robin's not the type to fake something like this. Believe you me, he'd rather run a sword through you than suffer something so undignifying." Peter watched as a woman jabbed something into the boy's leg and he went still. He didn't regain consciousness though.

Everybody with the exception of Fury looked worried. Something was up, and they all knew it. It was the same woman who jabbed the boy that broke the silence. "Does he have any known medical conditions that could induce seizures?"

Nightwing looked up, his face slightly haunted. "No, Shuri. He doesn't. His mother and grandfather made sure that his DNA would prove him to be genetically superior. I know that you have done a great deal for us, but do you think it would be possible to give him a full work up?"

Peter watched as Shuri nodded, and Nightwing carefully, lovingly even, picked up Robin and laid him down on a table. Shuri waved her bracelet over the boy's prone body in a practiced motion, eyes scanning the information that popped up in front of her. "Good news Brother, I know what is wrong with him. Unfortunately it is nothing that we can fix. This world is rejecting him. I would guess that the same thing will happen to the rest of you. Probably in order of age or weight. One thing is for certain. Robin is in a coma and soon the rest of you will join him."

Red Robin frowned. "Then we have limited time until I am also out of commission. We need to figure out how to get us home now." Turning to glance at Fury, Red Robin continued. "Either you help us, or you get the hell out of our way."

Fury growled, actually growled, but he moved out of Red Robin's way. The man was still glaring, and probably more angry than most would consider healthy. Well at least the guy wasn't ripping his own hair out. Peter paused, Fury had no hair. He couldn't rip it out. Unless he already did. He would have to ask Tony later. For now, he would need to focus. He needed to help figure out how to send them back before they all ended up in comas, or worse, dead.

###

Tony scratched at his beard as he looked at the information displayed in front of him. It was odd. The answer was on the tip of his tongue. He just knew it. His genius brain just needed to think of the answer. Think brain think! He didn't have time for this! For his brain to not be spouting genius ideas at a breakneck pace! He needed to think of ideas, and fast. These kids didn't have much time!

That's it. Speed. Vibrating the vibranium hadn't harnessed enough energy to open a portal. But what if, in addition to the particles vibrating, the whole portal was moving too fast for the eye to see? And then to top it off, the boys were launched into the portal at speeds that NASA would be jealous of? That would work! Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

"Yo, Casual American Diner. I think I've thought of a solution to the current problem."

Red Robin rolled his eyes and murmured something about hearing all the jokes before. Tony didn't doubt it. When your made up name was the same as a popular restaurant chain's, it is almost guaranteed that there will be some form of teasing. Great. Now he was calling hero aliases 'made up names' like Peter. Damn kid.

Tony hastily explained his idea, amazed that Shuri was already mapping it out on a virtual screen. Red Robin rubbed at his chin, in a way that clearly imitated stroking a beard. Tony wondered if the kid had ever needed to shave. Which made him wonder exactly how old the kid was. He couldn't be older than Peter, which was not a thought that he wanted to have. He was way too young to be fighting crime. And Red Robin was far older than Robin. The other multiverse must be a scary place if kids need to fight against evil.

His thoughts were interrupted by Bruce's excited chatter. Apparently the other half to his Science Bros had a stroke of genius due to Tony's original stroke of genius. Good. The more ideas they had the better. The most important part was that Tony's idea was the one that inspired everybody else's. Well, and the fact that they might get the four boys home before they all dropped dead or simply ceased to exist.

Next to him, Red Robin swayed slightly on his feet. He stumbled and seemed to trip over air before Red Hood picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. Red Robin made a quiet moaning noise as his brother shifted him with surprising gentleness considering Red Hood's overall demeanor. "Puke on me, and I'll mutilate you in your sleep." That sounded more like the Red Hood he had grown to know over the last few days.

Red Hood placed his brother down on a metal slab, watching him closely. Nightwing moved from his position guarding Robin's prone body to stand next to his brothers. "It's okay Alvin. We can handle it from here. Hood and I make a great team. We may not be a super genius like you, but we tend to make things happen."

"I hate that alias. Wing, you and I both know that the last time you and Hood teamed up you ended up stealing a minivan and getting in a car chase. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only reason you guys survived is your idiotic luck and Hood's refusal to die. Again."

"Damn fucking straight. Been dead, done that, never again."

Red Robin, or was it Alvin, gave a faint grin before his eyes seemed to roll back in his head and he passed out. It was nowhere near as violent as what had happened to Robin.

Shuri waved a hand over him and frowned at the screen in front of her. "This says that he is merely asleep. It must be incorrect. I shall rescan him."

Red Hood snorted. "Fucking drama queen. Don't bother. Kid's probably been awake for seventy-two hours—"

"At the very least." Nightwing helpfully added, ignoring the elbow to the gut that his interruption earned him.

Red Hood cleared his throat, sending a glare at Nightwing that clearly told his brother that any future interruptions would be met with dire consequences. "At home, we constantly have to drug him to get him some one on one time with his bed. Kid has a tempurpedic mattress, don't know why he doesn't want to spend more time with it."

"He brought that girl home the other day. Pretty sure they spent some quality time on the mattress together."

"Yeah. Doing fucking homework. What guy brings a babe like that home and into the bedroom to study?"

Nightwing shrugged. "One that has a better track record for healthy relationships than both of his older brothers and mentor combined? Wow. I just realized that I can blame the boss for every failed relationship I've ever had. I mean with him as an example growing up, what chance did I have?"

"You just realized that dipshit?"

Tony coughed loudly before Nightwing could reply. "As enlightening as this conversation is, I think that we should go back to focusing on getting you boys home before you all turn into ash or something."

Red Hood gave a sarcastic smile before giving them a thumbs up. "Right. We'll just leave you to that."

###

Jason could tell that Dick was going downhill. He had to give the man credit, he was fighting it. Tim had seized over twelve hours ago, and thanks to the Avengers, the machine was nearly complete. Problem was, Dick was only standing do to pure will power and was completely loopey. He would surely seize soon, and then it would be Jason's turn. At least one of them had to be conscious when they made the trip. One of them had to be fit to defend them all if they ended up somewhere unfriendly.

"Can you guys hurry the fuck up? Not telling you how to fucking do your job, but some of us want to go home tonight."

Jason was glad that Dick was out of it, otherwise the prick would have the nerve to get all starry-eyed over the fact that he called the manor of all places, home. Fucking sentimental buffoon.

Blonde GQ Model seemed a little annoyed by his attitude but said nothing. Robot Dude rolled his eyes. "This isn't exactly rocket science. In fact, this is way more complicated. And it's not like your helping Red Riding Hood."

Jason bit back a snarl, forcing himself only to clench his fists and crack his neck. Dick gave him a slightly dopey smile before patting him on the cheek. Swatting his brother's hand away from his face, Jason turned to face the red and gold Hotrod. "Like I haven't heard that before. I know that it's complicated and science-y, but you guys have been going at it for hours and you stopped updating us on what was happening the second my douchebag older brother asked the God of Hunks if he was willing to dye his blonde mane red."

"The midgardian has a point. After the eldest Son of Bats started raving, we have been ignoring them."

Tony made a big show of rolling his eyes. "Fine. Might as well update you, we're done anyways. Now, we just have to test it."

Jason could feel the contempt rolling off of Fury. Guy really wanted them gone. It really made him want to punch the guy in the face. More specifically, his one remaining eye.

Surprisingly, it was Dick who said something really smart and profound that none of them had bothered thinking. "How are you pretty fairies going to test it? Not like our Super Friends can send anything back. Wait. Little Wing. Is that sending us to space? Because I don't like space. Last time I went to space you died and nobody told me."

"My lunatic of an older brother does have a point. You can't test it. Best thing to do is just to send us through and hope that we end up in the right place."

Shuri looked at him, her expression more serious than he had ever seen it. "And if you do not end up in the right place? Or die?"

"Way I see it, if we end up in the wrong place, we reset and have the same amount of time before that Earth starts to reject us. So, we make contact with the heroes earlier and make the same machine. The Replacement knows what to do know, so it will go a lot faster. As for dying, I already came back once. I'm sure I can make it happen again."

"Your funeral."

Jason made a face that he hoped conveyed the fact that he was the only person allowed to make death jokes in this scenario. The message wasn't received if Tony's grin was any indication. Fucking genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

"Wipe that look off your face asswipe. And help me load the rambling idiot. Comatose patients are a lot easier to carry than the affectionate octopus I call a brother when it's convenient for me."

Arrow Dude helped drag Dick into the capsule thing that was going to launch them through the portal. As expected, Dick clung to the man muttering something about being circus brothers. Jason was just glad that he didn't have to deal with that crap. Cuddling was for chumps.

With his brothers all loaded up next to him, Jason took one last moment to look at the ragtag group of heroes that they had somehow persuaded to help them. It pained him to admit that Dick's good looks and charming personality was the biggest, and probably only, reason that the Avengers helped them. Maybe Jason should try to learn how to charm people. Nah. He'd leave that to his older brother. Jason wouldn't like it very much if Dick started learning how to swear in every language and shoot things. Best not to encroach on each other's terfs.

Deciding to employ the manners that Alfred, not Bruce, had instilled in him, Jason tuned and gave them all a smile, well smirk. "You ever end up in our neighborhood, go to Metropolis and yell for Superman. When he shows up, tell him that the Bat's proteges owe you one. He won't believe you; hell, he'll probably laugh. Insist that you need a meeting. Under no circumstances do you go into Gotham. You'll only get you or somebody else killed. Oh. And thanks for the help, I guess."

With a small, and slightly sarcastic wave, Jason ducked inside and pushed the button that would launch them back into their world.

###

If he was being honest with himself, Bruce knew that he had fallen into a dark depression and needed help. As it was though, he couldn't make himself get out of bed. Alfred had literally managed to force him out and into the shower once so that he could change the sheets. Bruce knew that the elderly butler had hoped that the shower would rejuvenate him slightly, but it hadn't. In fact, Alfred had walked in to find Bruce curled up on the shower floor, still wearing his pajamas. The butler had given up trying to get him up after that.

Bruce knew that the man was desperate when he began telling Bruce about the riots on the streets at night. Apparently, without Batman, the world had fallen apart. But he hadn't been able to force himself to put on the suit that got his sons killed. If he hadn't been Batman, they would have never became heroes and been on that Justice League mission. They would never have been killed.

Well not killed per se, the only light in the endless darkness was the note that he kept clutched in his hands. The problem was that he had yet to receive another note. His sons could be dead in another world and he wouldn't know, or be able to do anything. More than anything, he needed those boys to be okay.

Perhaps it was out of spite that he ignored all calls from the Justice League. They were the ones that had managed to get his sons sent away, they deserved to be punished. Alfred seemed to agree because he had sent away the few members that knew his secret identity and were brave enough to venture to his doorstep. Bruce was glad. He hardly needed Clark's endless optimism right now.

Downstairs, he could hear the doorbell ring and Alfred's shuffle. Alfred let out a loud gasp, a gasp that was nearly enough to motivate Bruce out of bed. Instead he turned over and tried to ignore the sounds of footsteps on the stairs. He didn't care who it was. He didn't want to see them.

Moments passed before there was a hesitant knock. Bruce didn't respond. Maybe whoever it was would take the hint and go away. They didn't. Instead there was a louder, more forceful knock. When he still did not respond, the door was shoved open with a loud bang.

"What the hell is the matter with you, Old Man? We make a very harrowing journey across the multiverse to be reunited with you, and you can't even pick us up from League Headquarters after they called to tell you of our miraculous return?"

"Jason, we talked about this, remember? How we shouldn't jump to conclusions that Bruce decided not to pick us up? That maybe Bruce didn't get the message?"

"Shut up Grayson. Father, this display is simply abhorrent. I understand not picking up Drake after he travelled the multiverse, but I am your blood son."

"I'm just as much his son as you are Demon Brat. In fact, he probably loves me more because unlike you, I don't have a major personality disorder."

Bruce sat up and turned around slowly. Was it possible? When he saw his four sons standing there looking tired but healthy, he felt something wet trail down his cheek. He swiped at it with his hand, never looking away from the four boys in front of him. Oh, he was crying. Why was he crying?

Dick furrowed his eyebrows and took a step forward. "Bruce? Dad? Are you okay?"

That was all it took. Bruce launched himself at the four boys, tackling them into a possessive hug. It took a moment for them to hug him back, probably startled by his rare voluntary showing of affection.

It was Jason, crass and bold Jason, who broke the silence. "You smell like shit! You used to lecture me for hours about personal hygiene after you took me off the fucking streets, and yet you have the nerve to go that long without showering? Man, you smell bad enough to wake up a fucking dead man!"

"I thought you were all dead! That I was never going to see you again!"

"Didn't you get our note? Wait, hold that thought. I'm sure everybody here would appreciate a shower before we go over what happened. Bruce, I'm sure Alfred would appreciate it if he didn't have to continue wearing a nose plug around you."

Bruce didn't care about the dig on his body odor. All that mattered was that they were all home safe with no visible grevious bodily injury. Everything else didn't matter. And if Clark were to say that Bruce was extra clingy for the next few weeks to the point of driving his sons completely insane, than he was a lying reporter just looking to stir up trouble.

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 **A/N: I suppose that I should apologize for not updating in so long, but I swear I have a good reason! It was mostly because I kept changing this chapter. I didn't like it no matter what or how I wrote it and I wasn't about to post it if I wasn't satisfied. That and the fact that I was on vacation and was sick. And I still have a few trips planned so I don't know just how often I will be updating. But I will update sooner than I did the last time (I hope)!**

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	72. Avengers Assemble Bonus

**Avengers Assemble Bonus**

Peter opened his eyes to see a city he didn't recognize. Next him, Tony was rubbing his head and groaning. What the hell happened? "Mr. Stark? This isn't New York."

"I can see that Kid. I told you not to touch the glowing egg. Nothing good ever comes from touching the glowing egg."

Peter wanted to argue that something had compelled him to touch the gold glowing egg. That it hadn't been the choice that he was making it out to be. But arguing would be pointless. Tony had already made up his mind and they really needed to figure out what city they were in.

They wandered the city aimlessly until they managed to find a convenience store. Tony gave the bored cashier a disarming smile, as if he was expecting her to recognize him. She didn't. Didn't even look twice. Not even a vague look of recognition. Tony's lips twitched in annoyance but he plastered on a smile and sauntered up to her. Peter watched in embarrassment as Tony 'flirted' with the cashier. It was painful. It was humiliating. It was like discovering that your younger sibling wasn't adopted and therefore your parents had sex when you were alive.

However, it was interesting that the lady wasn't giving Tony the time of day. That never happened. Tony's flirting must have reached a whole new level of yuck because the lady shoved her hand in his face and said, "You see this ring? It means I ain't interested unless your name is Bruce Wayne."

"Bruce Wayne?"

"That delectable billionaire just wormed his way into my heart when he took in that circus boy. And then he took in the street rat, and the dead neighbors' kid. And they are all his heirs despite the fact that he now has a biological kid of his own. I don't care that he's a known playboy. Any man who takes in orphans is a Superman."

"What did you just say?"

"That Bruce Wayne is Superman."

Peter wondered if Tony understood the importance of what she just said. Superman! They were in the same world as the brothers! OMG! This. Was. Awesome! Tony must have figured out where they were too, because his face turned serious. "How far are we from Metropolis?"

"Where do you think you are, you playboy wannabe?"

Peter couldn't help but burst out laughing as Tony dragged him out of the store. This was the best day ever. Even better than the time that Ned fit seventy-three gummy bears in his mouth.

It wasn't long after that Tony and Peter were standing on the roof of the Daily Planet, the tallest building that they could find in the area. Tony paced for a moment before turning to Peter. "So what now? They said to yell for him. Am I just supposed to yell: Superman? I mean there has to be more to it than that right?"

"No. I like to keep it pretty straight forward. You should see how they do it in Gotham."

Both Tony and Peter whirled around at the sudden new voice falling into 'fighting' stances, though it would be clear to the trained eye that they did not have any experience in martial arts. The newcomer was hovering in the air wearing a blue spandex suit and a bright red cape. There was a giant red 'S' on the front of his suit, so Peter made the huge jump to guess that this was Superman.

"Superman?"

"Yes. Do you need help?"

Peter could understand the confusion. They weren't exactly writhing in pain and agony. "I know this will sound crazy, but we are from a different version of Earth."

Peter listened to Tony's very technical explanation knowing that he looked like a stereotypical bored teenager. Didn't Tony know that most people didn't speak geek? This guy certainly looked like he spoke football and not complex multiverse theory. "What my hopeless at parenting, yet well meaning mentor is trying to say is that we are from the Earth Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin were sent to. They told us to find you if we ever ended up in this world. Something about not going into Gotham without an escort."

Superman tilted his head to the side, a small frown on his face. "The Bats invited you into Gotham with me as an escort? I'm not sure I believe that. Though I guess they'd rather have me in their city instead of a different meta."

Peter didn't know Batman. The stories that the boys had told all painted conflicting images of the man. A harass trainer, a caring mentor, a jealous and territorial hero, a man with a bleeding heart that took in orphans. Nightwing had said that Batman liked Superman, but would never actually show it or say anything. Red Hood had said that the man behaved similarly with them. At least Peter knew that his guardian loved him. Though the boys didn't seem like they doubted that fact.

Superman gave him an appraising look before taking out a cell phone. "Hey. It's me. Got a question for you. Did you meet a…"

Peter noted his blank look and hastily answered him. "Peter Parker. My made-up name is Spider-Man. And this is Tony Stark. Otherwise known as Iron Man. He's our Earth's version of Bruce Wayne. Only he's also a hero. No offense to Bruce. I heard that he's a great guy. Takes in orphans. Tony's never done that. Well, he took me under his wing and technically I'm an orphan, I just live with my Aunt May. Oh my god! Aunt May! I hope she's not worried. She already thinks that Tony's a bad influence on me! What if—"

A sharp elbow from Tony shut him up. Which was good because otherwise he would have never stopped. Superman meanwhile was giving them an amused look. "Get all of that, N?"

Peter wondered if 'N' stood for Nightwing or if it was the initial of Batman's first name. Superman didn't look like he had just spilled this world's greatest secret.

Superman hummed at something that the person on the other end of the phone said before replying, "Got it. I'll see you then."

Tony looked at Superman expectantly, and when the man didn't answer Tony tapped his foot and snapped, "Well?"

"I'll fly you guys to Gotham at dusk. Nightwing will take you guys to their hideout. He said that Red Robin had been working on something in case this happened, so you guys should be able to go home soon."

"Why can't we go now?"

"Well, for one, Nightwing has a day job and can't simply disappear. And before you ask, his brothers are at school. Also, I have a job that I should really get back to. Claiming a phone call from my mother will only allow me to disappear for so long."

"That's a stupid excuse."

"In my defense, it didn't sound like this was an emergency. I figured that it could be resolved swiftly, and I was right. I'll meet you guys at the front entrance of the daily planet at 7 p.m. Don't be late."

With that, the man shot into the air and was gone. Peter turned to Tony, glee written all over his face. "So what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

###

It was seven o'clock. Tony paced around in front of the daily planet obnoxiously as Peter watched in semi-amusement. Ten minutes later, Superman touched down in front of them with a small apologetic smile. "Sorry. I got held up at work."

Tony frowned and let out a sigh. Peter guessed that he wasn't used to heroes having a day job. "It's fine. How are you planning on transporting us? I don't see a plane."

Superman smirked. "Who needs a plane?"

That was all the warning before the man grabbed both him and Tony around the waste and shot up into the air. Peter automatically squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as possible. It took a lot of effort to pry them open and when he did, he couldn't help but let out a load laugh and a whoop. Peter thought he knew what it meant to fly. He swung between buildings all of the time, but this was different. This was freedom. It was joy and youth and beauty and love and every positive word in existence all mixed together. It was liberating.

Tony didn't seem to be having nearly as much fun as he was. Instead, the man was pouting. Perhaps he thought this position was undignifying. Peter couldn't imagine why. Tony had been carried by Thor in the same way after he had been thrown out of a plane. Peter wasn't sure how this was any different. Well maybe except for the fact that he didn't know Superman, nor was he friends with the man.

It didn't take long for the scenery to gradually get more dark and bleak. Peter really hoped that they weren't stopping here. But as Superman began to slowly float down to a rooftop with a big spotlight, he resigned himself to his fate. Superman looked around with squinted eyes before sighing and leaning against the spotlight. "They're not here yet. We'll have to wait."

After five minutes, Superman shifted around and turned on the spotlight. In the clouded and smog filled sky, a giant bat lit up. Peter looked at in amazement, that was the way people communicated with Batman? It was so cool! Maybe he should do something similar in New York. A Spider-Man signal. A giant spider in the night sky. Somehow, it didn't sound nearly as cool. Especially because he tended to operate in daytime hours. Aunt May didn't like it when he stayed up late.

A few minutes passed before there was the sound of boots landing heavily on the roof. A split second later, another pair of boots landed, these much quieter than the first. Peter watched as two males walked out of the shadows. One was wearing a leather jacket over body armor and a red helmet. The other was wearing a skin tight black and blue spandex suit. A black mask covered his eyes, but the grin was undeniably Nightwing's. The other guy must have been Red Hood, though Red Helmet seemed like a more apt name.

"Hey guys. When we offered our assistance in this world, we didn't actually think that you would take us up on that offer."

Red Hood took off his helmet, a red domino mask hiding his eyes. "Speak for yourself Dickhead."

"Shut it Hood. You totally didn't expect it."

Red Hood smirked and rested his elbow on his brother's shoulder. Nightwing frowned, but he didn't try to move. Instead he nodded once at Superman. "Thanks Clark. We've got it from here. I'll see you at that fundraiser on Saturday."

Superman smiled and waved before he took off into the air. Red Hood took a second to scan both Peter and Tony, before giving his older brother a sly look. Nightwing took one look at the expression on his brother's face and backed up a few steps. "What stupid idea are you concocting? The last time you gave me that look, I ended up taking the fall for you egging the dinosaur."

"Nothing like that Golden Boy. I was just going to propose a race across Gotham."

Nightwing raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. Red Hood didn't seem to care. "We'll each take one of the multiverse travellers. Whoever gets to the Wayne Tower entrance, and I do mean the chair, first wins."

Nightwing was quiet for a second before a large grin took over his face. "Deal. But I get Peter."

"What? No!"

"As you like to point out, you are bigger than me and can bench press way more than I can. Besides, Peter is what, one hundred and forty pounds, and Tony's one hundred and seventy? I think you can handle an extra thirty pounds Little Wing."

"Fine. But try to remember that this is a rooftop race. On foot. No motorcycles."

"Fine."

Peter shared a horrified look with Tony before yelling, "Don't we get a say in this?"

Both brothers shared a look before simultaneously yelling, "No!"

Red Hood tossed Tony over his shoulder, and jumped over the side of the building yelling, "Go!" as he went.

Nightwing turned to Peter with a small smirk on his face. Crouching slightly, he wiggled his butt and said, "Get on."

Peter weighed his options. If he didn't, it was likely that he would end up on Nightwing's shoulder. If he did, he would basically be saying that he was okay with this; which he wasn't. Sighing, he climbed onto Nightwing's back. "I'm not okay with this. Besides, not like you can win now."

"Don't worry Spider-Kid! I know a shortcut. Besides, Little Wing has always been slower in the air than I am!"

Peter didn't get a chance to question Nightwing. The man simply swan dived off the edge of the roof. Peter screeched in terror, sure that they were going to go splat on the sidewalk, but at the very last second, Nightwing launched a grappling hook and they sailed across traffic. Peter gasped, adrenaline coursing through his whole body. Nightwing laughed, the kind of laugh that you can only laugh when you feel a childish sense of joy.

Landing on the adjacent rooftop, Nightwing started climbing the ridiculously tall satellite tower that resided on it. The man climbed so fast that Peter briefly wondered if Nightwing also had some sort of animal powers. But he dismissed the thought. Nightwing climbed kinda like Clint did when he was showing off.

Once they reached the top, Peter was shocked to see that there was what appeared to be a zip line that went through the city and went through a window of a tall tower. _Wayne Tower_. Before Peter could protest, Nightwing was literally hooked up and once again jumping off of a building. Peter prided himself in the fact that he did not scream this time. Well, he did, but only because the window was fast approaching and they were going to going to resemble a bird hitting the windshield of a car on the freeway..

At the last possible moment, the window slid open, and they went flying off the zipline and into the room. Nightwing landed with practiced ease, allowing Peter to slide off of his back before falling into the office chair. With a smirk, he held up three fingers. Two. One. Right on cue, Red Hood burst through the door with Tony still on his shoulder, who was still yelling bloody murder.

When he saw his brother located on the chair, his hand twitched and for a moment he was afraid that he would pull one of the many visible weapons adorning his body. Instead he snarled, "Nicely played" And lunged forward, flicking a hidden switch under the seat of the chair. Nightwing didn't make a sound, despite the fact that the floor opened up beneath the chair, and he disappeared quickly from view. Red Hood grabbed Peter by the hood of his sweatshirt and jumped down after his brother.

Later, if asked, Peter would cite that he was worried for the brothers' mental health, because at that moment he screamed, "Why are you trying to kill me?"

###

It took one hour, three wrong turns, and a rat scurrying over his foot to reach the secret hideout of the Bat Family. Red Robin and Robin were sitting on the computer council. The gave him a lazy wave, but Peter's attention was drawn by the big ass dinosaur that in the middle of the room. Cool.

In front of the desk, a man in black ignored their presence, didn't even turn to see who had entered. Nightwing bounded over to him and draped himself across the man's back and shoulders. The man didn't even flinched, just patted Nightwing's arm as if it was a normal occurrence. Hell, it probably was.

Red Robin just sighed. Deeply. Giving them a brief smile, he hopped down from the computer council. "I made a machine to access other multiverses as soon as we came home."

"Without vibranium?"

"I used Kryptonian technology. Had to make a few adjustments but I figured it out. It will take about five minutes for the machine to warm up, then you guys can go home."

Peter shook his head in disbelief. "Wait, seriously? It took forever for us to get you guys home! This is seriously anticlimactic!"

Red Hood scoffed. "No. Anticlimactic is when Red Robin tells us a long story about how easy his latest test was. Or when Nightwing tells us that he broke up with his newest paramour. Or when Robin 'accidently' gets too rough with a thug."

"Shut up Hood. Do not spread your idiocy to Parker and Stark. While they are not particularly bright, they are significantly smarter than you are."

Red Hood snarled and lunged at his younger brother. The man at the computer twitched as they rolled around on the ground yanking at each other's hair, clawed at any available surface and bit whatever they could reach. The man let out a deep sigh and dislodged a laughing Nightwing. He loomed over the fighting boys for a moment before reaching down and grabbing each of them by the collar. He hefted them both up until Robin was dangling at eye level and Red Hood was standing on his tiptoes. "Enough. Red Hood, you are not a child. If you want me to trust you to make responsible decisions than you have to act like it. Robin, you insist that you are not a child and shouldn't be treated as one. If you want me to do that, than you need to act like an adult."

Both boys pouted, and Peter took that moment to study the man. He was tall and broad and imposing. But somehow, he seemed to have a warm disposition towards his sons, even though he was totally cold shouldering Peter and Tony. Whatever. Peter would be home with his Aunt May by the end of the night. She would be warm and bake him cookies and life would be great.

Seconds later, Red Robin returned. "The machine is ready. It's time for you guys to go home."

Peter said his goodbyes. Tony grudgingly did the the same. Obviously, not pleased that all of the Bats had firmly refused to give him Kryptonian technology. Something about maintaining the integrity of the multiverse.

Either way, Peter and Tony were gone ten minutes later. Peter was pleased to say that his Aunt May gave him cookies and affection and life was indeed great. It was even greater when he recounted their trip in incredible detail to the rest of the Avengers, much to Tony's embarrassment.

 **A/N: Sorry I haven't updated. Hope this is worth the wait. A lot of people requested it.**

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 **A few guests have asked if I was still taking requests, and since they are guests, I can't directly respond to them. Point is, I wanted to tell you guys that I am always taking requests. I love hearing what you guys think is funny or would be entertaining. I love opinions and creativity and honestly your enthusiasm inspires me to continue writing.**

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 **REVIEW PLEASE!**


	73. Justice and Awards

**Justice and Awards**

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 **A/N: So this is once again a story where the Justice League has no idea who Batman's secret identity is**

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Dick fiddled with the sleeves of his blazer, frowning. He didn't understand why they had to go through with this media parade. Even if the burgundy button down, with one too many buttons open and black blazer was physically comfortable, the idea of what was coming made Dick squirm.

He was in the back seat of a limo with his brothers and Bruce. All looking somewhat spruced up. They were going to some award show, which normally wouldn't be a problem if the whole damn Justice League wasn't attending. And the small fact that said League had no idea that the famous 'Wayne' family was also the infamous Batfam. It was no doubt going to be a stressful evening, especially as Damian still hated Wonder Woman. Apparently, his younger brother held grudges.

It annoyed him that nobody else seemed to share his concerns about the night. Tim was on his phone and Jason was reading a book. Damian meanwhile, was trying to hide the fact that he was preening as Bruce fussed with his sleeves. Alfred met his eyes through the open partition. Okay, at least one person was aware how badly this night was going to go down.

The Justice League would be arriving in full costume. They were supposed to be getting some sort of award for _Heroic Actions_. Batman was supposed to be there, but unfortunately, or fortunately if you asked Bruce, the Wayne Family had already confirmed that they were going. They were nominated for _Most Charitable Actions_ , a category that they were all but guaranteed to win for the fifth year in a row. Batman, meanwhile had claimed an emergency in Gotham. The Justice League hadn't pushed too hard. People tended to be unnerved by the Bat, including the League themselves. They had only just found out that he had four sons, and it wasn't even due to the man's own omission. Dick was glad. He hardly wanted to be switching between identities the whole night. That wasn't to say that it wasn't going to be a long night. That was practically guaranteed.

###

Barry frowned at the flashing lights. Next to him, Hal was grinning and waving at the paparazzi. He was such an attention whore sometimes. Barry wasn't even sure why he was here. He could be at home with Isis, watching trashy reality tv while snuggling and drinking wine. The kind of activity that he would never willingly reveal to any member of the Justice League. Especially Hal. Batman probably already knew. His stalker abilities were nothing to laugh at.

It was weird standing there smiling despite all the flashing cameras. Barry wished that he could zoom away, but it wouldn't reflect well on the League, and since this whole thing was to increase positive PR, negative PR would be quite counter productive. Which was why he was standing there in his costume, with Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green Arrow,Martian Manhunter, and Green Lantern standing beside him.

Suddenly the cameras started flashing twice as fast, and the reporters, if you could even call them that, started yelling far more than they had been mere seconds ago. Barry turned to look at Hal, wondering if the man had some semblance of a clue as to what was happening. He obviously did, if the shade of puce that his face was turning was any indication.

The pointed finger that Hal directed over his shoulder, made Barry turn around. Maybe it was some movie star or something. It wasn't. At least none that he recognized. It was a family or sorts. A man, and four others males of varying ages. One looking like he was on the young side of his mid-twenties, another was probably just turning twenty, one looking like he could barely pass for sixteen, and the last was clearly a child no older than ten. All of them were well dressed and smiling at the cameras like the photographers just told a joke. And all of them were unfairly handsome with black hair and blue eyes.

Next to him, Green Arrow's brows furrowed. "What are the Waynes doing here? I thought today was about heroes?"

"It is. They were nominated for their charitable actions. If they win, it will be for the fifth year in a row."

Barry turned to Clark and raised an eyebrow. Not that the man could see it, unless the man was using his million types of vision to take a peek under his cowl. "You a fan or something?"

"Or something."

Wonder Woman sniffed. "You'd think that the press would be more impressed with real warriors than a rich family."

"They call him the White Night of Gotham for a reason Diana. Arguably, he does just as much for the city as Batman. Besides, I hear that they are kidnapped and threatened more than most."

Barry thought that it was official. Superman was officially a fanboy. An obsessive fanboy that probably kept trading cards and had a secret shrine plastered inside his closet. Barry didn't think that it was too big of a leap to assume that Superman had a not so secret giant crush on Bruce Wayne. The guy likely wanted to adopt all of Bruce's children and love them like the teddy bear he was. Barry let out a loud sigh. It was going to be a long night.

###

It happened when the Waynes were on the stage receiving the award. Jason was talking about plans he had for future charity events, when the room exploded. Clark had been suitably bored until that moment. So bored that he had been debating sneaking out. He was glad that he didn't.

He was embarrassed to say that it took a few moments for Clark to realize what was happening. In his defence, he wasn't ready for guys with guns. Especially guys with guns who seemed to be targeting the Waynes. It was a stupid plan. Any other award show, and these guys might have gotten away with it. But the almighty Justice League was attending this one.

It took less than fifteen minutes to disbach the losers. The only problem was that the Wayne children were nowhere to be seen. Bruce was sitting on the edge of the stage with a split lip and a blackening eye. The paramedics were making a beeline in his direction, but the man didn't seem to be to worried.

Movement caught his eye, and Clark's jaw dropped open as Jason literally repelled down one of the curtains decorating the stage. He dropped to the ground and adjusted his sleeves, automatically reaching up to help Damian. Next came Tim, sliding down, with the curtain wrapped around his body as if it was rope. When Dick didn't come sliding down right away, Clark looked up in time to see him spread his arms as if he was embracing the world and fall forward.

Voice catching in his throat, Clark watched in horror as the young man fell. He was about to launch himself towards Dick so that he could catch the man, when he noticed that it seemed to be a controlled fall. The boy flipped and turned and flipped some more with the grace of an olympic gymnast, before landing on the ground and falling forward into a forward handspring.

Dick ended with a flourish, bowing to the stunned crowd. Tim gave a slow clap, almost reluctantly. Jason and Damian meanwhile rolled their eyes like they saw it every single day. They probably did. Dick sent a wink towards the crowd, and leaning into the previously abandoned microphone. "I'm a circus brat, what can I say?"

Jason shoved Dick out of the way before leaning down and saying, "You also can't miss a chance to show off, Douchebag. Now are we going to continue this fucking shindig?"

When everybody looked at Jason like he was certifiably insane, which he just might be, Jason sniffed and glared. Bruce meanwhile stood up and ambled over to the microphone. "You must excuse my children, we're from Gotham. This isn't exactly unusual, and people there tend to ignore events like this. Any other city, when a bankrobber demands people drop to the ground, they do it, In Gotham, people simply go on with their day."

Tim furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, you serious? I thought that only happened in movies! Your telling me that that actually happens in real life? Are you for real?"

Clark felt like he had entered a parallel dimension. The Waynes were standing on the stage and squabbling, despite the fact that there had just been an attempt on their lives. He had interviewed them plenty of times in his day job, but he never knew just how insane they were. Well, on the bright side, he had a great scoop for the Daily Planet.

Turning to face the rest of his team, Clark couldn't help but burst out laughing when Hal said, "Wait until we tell Batman. I'll bet that even Mr. Tall Dark and Brooding will crack a smile at this."

Clark couldn't help but secretly agree. And even if Batman didn't find it amusing, Nightwing and Red Hood certainly would. It would certainly be a good story to tell at the official Justice League Holiday Party. And Lois would surely get a kick out of it. For the briefest second, Clark wondered what Batman was doing. That train of thought didn't last long, when Clark watched in shocked amusement as Damian launched himself at Tim and Dick was forced to literally pry them apart. Clark supposed that they were lucky that Batman and his Robins were slightly more sane than the Waynes. But only slightly.

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 **A/N: So...I don't even know what to say. But here you go...Hope you liked it and all that...**

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 **Please Review!**

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 **Also...question: What do you guys think about the whole DC releasing a comic for 'mature' readers because it includes images of Bruce Wayne's dick? And not his son, if you know what I mean. Personally I think that it is a huge publicity stunt. I mean the image is in the comic, but they only included it to make people talk about the comics.**


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